Several people came together in a short amount of time to make If I Stay possible. It starts with Gillian Aldrich, who started crying (in a good way) when I told her about my idea. This proved to be quite a good motivator to get started.
Tamara Glenny, Eliza Griswold, Kim Sevcik, and Sean Smith took time out of their hectic schedules to read early drafts and offer much-needed encouragement. For their enduring generosity and friendship, I love and thank them. Some people help you keep your head straight; Marjorie Ingall helps me keep my heart straight, and for that I love and thank her. Thank you also to Jana and Moshe Banin.
Sarah Burnes is my agent in the truest sense of the word, harnessing her formidable intelligence, insight, passion, and warmth to shepherd the words that I write to the people who should read them. She and the superb Courtney Gatewood and Stephanie Cabot have made miracles happen where this book is concerned.
When I first met with the team at Penguin, I felt like I was sitting down with family. My extraordinary editor, Julie Strauss-Gabel, has lavished Mia and her family (not to mention me) with the careful attention and love you’d hope to get from a relative. She is “Julie-special.” Don Weisberg put both heart and muscle into this book, and the editorial, sales, marketing, publicity, and design people have all gone above and beyond, and for that I want to individually thank: Heather Alexander, Scottie Bowditch, Leigh Butler, Mary-Margaret Callahan, Lisa DeGroff, Erin Dempsey, Jackie Engel, Felicia Frazier, Kristin Gilson, Annie Hurwitz, Ras Shahn Johnson-Baker, Deborah Kaplan, Eileen Kreit, Kimberly Lauber, Rosanne Lauer, Stephanie Owens Lurie, Barbara Marcus, Casey McIntrye, Steve Meltzer, Shanta Newlin, Mary Raymond, Emily Romero, Holly Ruck, Jana Singer, Laurence Tucci, Allison Verost, Allan Winebarger, Courtney Wood, Heather Wood, and Lisa Yoskowitz. And finally a huge thank you to the field reps who worked so hard on behalf of this book. (Phew).
Music is a huge part of this story, and I drew a lot of inspiration from Yo-Yo Ma — whose own work informs much of Mia’s story — and from Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova, whose song “Falling Slowly” I probably listened to more than two hundred times while working on the book.
Thanks to my Oregon contingent: Greg and Diane Rios, who have been our compatriots through all this. John and Peg Christie, whose grace, dignity, and generosity continue to move me. Jennifer Larson, M.D., an old friend and, as luck would have it an emergency room doctor, who enlightened me about Glasgow Coma Scales, among other medical details.
My parents — Lee and Ruth Forman — and my siblings — Tamar Schamhart and Greg Forman — are my cheerleaders and most steadfast fans, who ignore my failings (professional ones, anyhow) and celebrate my successes as if they were their own (which they are). Thank you also to Karen Forman, Robert Schamhart, and Detta Tucker.
I didn’t immediately recognize how much of this book is about the way parents transform their lives for their children. Willa Tucker teaches me this lesson every day and is occasionally forgiving when I am too absorbed playing make-believe in my head to play make-believe with her.
Without my husband, Nick Tucker, none of this would be. I owe him everything.
Finally, my deepest thanks go to R.D.T.J., who inspire me in so many ways and who show me every single day that there is such a thing as immortality.