In Bed with Mr. Wrong

Chapter Eighteen

Bri spent the next twenty-four hours in a fugue. She had no illusions about what she was doing, but she couldn’t bring herself to stop. Nothing interested her—not her books, not her library, not even the kids she made an effort to smile at despite how terrible she felt. All she wanted to do was curl in bed and sleep until her chest stopped hurting.

She picked up a book from the shelving cart and set it back down without opening it. God, what was happening to her? She couldn’t possibly have had her heart broken by a man she barely knew.

But no matter how much she tried to convince herself otherwise, she couldn’t lie to herself. She knew Ryan. She felt for the kid he used to be—the child who had sought refuge from his horrible father in the middle of books, just like she had. The teenager who’d accidentally set fire to his school while saving a kitten. She felt for the man he’d become, too, but even more than that, she felt for the common thread between them she couldn’t ignore.

It didn’t matter. No matter which way things played out between them, it’d never work in the long run. It couldn’t.

So why was she having such a difficult time convincing herself she shouldn’t track him down?

The phone in her hand rang, startling a scream out of her. Bri pressed her hand to her chest and stared at the caller ID. Avery. Again. Her best friend had been calling ever since Drew took Ryan to the airport. She hadn’t been ready to talk then, and she sure as heck wasn’t ready now. With a sigh, she pressed the ignore button and set the phone aside.

“It’s rude to ignore your best friend’s calls.”

Bri screamed for the second time. “What the hell, Avery? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

She hopped onto the counter next to Bri and swung her long legs out. “That depends. How long are you planning on avoiding me? Because I’d hate to have to take drastic measures. I mean, I’m in a library right now. That’s pretty drastic.”

“I haven’t decided if I’m angry at you for the cabin thing. I need time.”

Avery rolled her eyes. “Oh, please. If you don’t know if you’re mad, you’re not.”

“That’s not how real life works.” In reality she’d let a man who could very well have been her Prince Charming walk away without a fight. The very thought, no matter how absurd, made her want to cry.

“Will it make it any better to know that Drew and I spent three hours picking through the damn place, making sure we found all the condoms we’d stashed? Because that was a giant pain in the ass. Also, informative. You guys used quite a few of them.”

Bri wanted to shake her friend, mostly so she didn’t have to consider the implications. Had they counted the missing condoms? “Are you even listening to yourself? You stranded me in the middle of nowhere with a strange man for three days.”

“Now you’re just being dramatic. It’s not like we picked up a hitchhiker and threw you two together. It’s Ryan. And you two were pretty damn cozy when you were crashing his Suburban into a stoplight.”

She realized it didn’t matter what she said—Avery wouldn’t listen. Bri vowed right then and there she’d get some sort of revenge on the Twosome, no matter how long it took.

“Speaking of Ryan, what the hell happened? You two went from being cuddled up in a very naked way to icy silence that managed to make even me uncomfortable.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Ever.

“Bullshit. Obviously something isn’t right and, if I know you—and I do—then it’s going to eat you up until you figure it out.”

She kind of hated Avery for knowing her so well. Bri crossed her arms over her chest and forced herself to meet her best friend’s gaze. “What’s your point?”

“My point is, hashing it out with me will help.” She motioned. “So, hash it out.”

As much as she wanted to be left alone to nurse her wounds, Avery had a point. “Would you like something to drink?”

“Don’t suppose you have beer stashed somewhere around here?” She laughed when Bri sent her a look. “Didn’t think so. Tea would be great.”

She led the way into the little back room she’d converted into a break room when she took over as head librarian. Mrs. Cleaver had used it to stash her in-progress knitting projects, but Bri bought a comfy little chair and a table for her automatic teapot. Going through the motions of filling the teapot and setting out mugs calmed her nerves. By the time she turned around, she was as ready as she’d ever be to have this conversation. She took a deep breath. “He left.”

Sympathy bloomed in Avery’s dark eyes. “Sweetie, it’s not forever.”

“Knowing that doesn’t make it any easier. He’s running off to take over for a guy who might have died.” Who did die for all she knew. Her brain wanted to point out that this had been coming since the moment she met him, but she’d somehow convinced herself it would work out—right up until the moment it came time for him to say good-bye. “Even if we try to make something work, he’ll always leave. Maybe even for good.”

“Well, you can’t do anything about the last bit, but if you’re not willing to follow him to the ends of the earth, maybe you should give him a reason to stick around. He’s been looking for one ever since he left.”

“What are you talking about? He’s not going to settle here.” In Wellingford, Bri had found a real home, and she wasn’t sure she could bear the thought of leaving. Even for Ryan. The fact that she’d considered it in the first place was a token of how deep her feelings for him went.

“He had a rough time of it growing up with his asshat of a father. He and Drew had to fend for themselves for the most part, so they got into more than their fair share of trouble. The whole burning-down-the-high-school mess only capped things off.” Avery shrugged. “But the long and short of it is that Ryan needed time to find his own identity and some peace, but when he’s ready to put down roots again, this is where he’ll come.”

Hope blossomed, made all the more terrible for how potent it was. Bri ruthlessly crushed it. “You’re wrong.”

“I’m not.” She kicked out her heels again. “Maybe he just needs the right reason to make him ready.”

Her friend was saying all the things she desperately wanted to hear, but Bri couldn’t bring herself to believe it. “He’s avoided this place for ten years. That isn’t something you just set aside. Plus, he loves being a pararescuer. I could never ask him to choose between me and a career he loves.”

“Then don’t.”

“You are not helping.”

“Well, I guess that depends on what kind of help you’re after. Do you want the truth, or for someone to pat you on the ass and tell you that you’re right and Ryan’s a big, bad asshole? I love the man, but I can go either way if it’s what you need.”

Bri gripped her mug tighter. “I can’t believe you just said that.”

“What’s the problem? That I gave you the option, or the fact that there is an option?”

Anger broke through the calm she’d fought so hard to maintain ever since Ryan left. Her hand shook so much, hot tea splashed over her fingers. “I think you should leave.”

“I think that means we’re choosing option one, so here goes. You’re not weak, Bri—you never were—but you’re scared shitless and that’s going to make you miss the chance of a lifetime. I saw the way Ryan looked at you. He’s head-over-heels in love with you, and unless I miss my guess, you’re well on your way there, too.”

No. Absolutely not. “Get out.”

“I’m sorry to have to be the one to say it, but I love you too much to sit back and let you hide from happiness.” Avery’s voice never wavered as she stood and walked slowly toward the door leading into the main room of the library. “Maybe you need to sit down and think about the stakes. Because I’d commit bodily harm to have a chance at what you’re throwing away—a life with a loving partner. If you’re not willing to fight for your happiness, why should anyone else?”

“That’s not fair! There are other things to consider.”

“Maybe you’re right.” She paused at the door. “But I wouldn’t consider them for too long. Ryan’s hopping on a flight and shipping out to destination unknown tomorrow.”

“What? He’s deploying?” Bri ran after her and threw open the main door, but her friend was already walking down the sidewalk. Panicking, she raced back into the break room and scrambled for her phone. She dialed Drew’s number from memory and nearly sobbed with relief when he answered.

“Flannery.”

“When is Ryan flying overseas?”

For once, he didn’t make a smart-ass comment. “Tomorrow morning. He thinks he’ll be gone a few months, but it’s hard to tell since everything is all hush-hush.”

An unknown number of months in enemy territory where another pararescuer had already been hurt—or worse. What if something happened to him and she never said the words pushing so desperately at her lips? Bri was already grabbing her keys and shoving her feet into her boots when she said, “What airport is he flying out of? Or is he going directly from Moody Air Force Base?”

“Actually, no. He’s flying commercial to Germany departing out of Nashville. From there, I have no idea.”

Nashville. She glanced at the clock as she headed for the main doors. There was probably a flight that would get her to Atlanta tonight. If she rented a car, she could drive to Nashville and be there by morning. “Hold on a second.”

“Sure, I’ve got all day.”

Ignoring his sarcasm, she hurried to the nearest computer and brought up a search of flights leaving Williamsport. Sure enough, there was one heading to Atlanta in three hours. “I need a ride to the airport.”

…

Ryan dialed again, cursing when the call went straight to voice mail.

This is Brianne Nave. Please leave a message with your name and number and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.

He’d already called her three times, so it was entirely possible she was ignoring him on purpose. Fuck. “Bri, it’s Ryan again. I’m leaving and… Shit, I don’t even know what to say. I never should have walked away from you with things like they were, and I’m sorry. I would have called before now, but things have been insane with us going wheels up. The truth is, I care about you more than I know how to say. I know that’s going to freak you out and I’m sorry for that, too, but it needs to be said. You brought something into my life I didn’t even know I was missing, and I’ll be damned before I let you go without a fight. I’m… I’m going to call you when I get to Frankfurt in roughly twenty hours. If you don’t answer or your phone’s shut off, then I’ll take a hint, but I really hope we have a chance…to talk.”

The phone beeped, cutting him off before he could embarrass himself anymore.

“Dude, put your phone away before you call that poor chick for the fourth time in three hours. You’re already bordering on stalker territory as it is.”

He turned with a sigh to Jackson. The PJ’s blond hair shone in the stark light of the airport as they strode through the terminal toward Concourse C. His eyes, however, were sympathetic. “There will be plenty of time to get it right, Flannery. She’d be a damn fool not to see what a catch you are.”

“Aw, Jacks, are you sweet on me?” The joking he usually found such joy in fell flat against the rock settling in his stomach. What if Bri finally answered and said she didn’t want anything to do with him? How the fuck was he supposed to go on with his life knowing what he was missing?

“As if you have to do is ask.” Jacks grinned. “So this girl stole your heart? She’s a fast worker.”

Thinking back to their first date, to the kiss that flamed out of control, he smiled. “You have no idea.”

“Yeah? Maybe someday I’ll meet a woman who blows me away like that.”

“If you’re lucky.” Or cursed. He wasn’t sure at this point.

“Uh, Flannery.” Jacks eyes went wide. “I don’t suppose she’s about yea tall”—he held up his hand at chest height—“with a penchant for skirts and sexy secretary glasses?”

He followed his friend’s gaze and stopped cold. Bri stood talking to a gate agent, her hands moving wildly, though he was too far away to hear her words. The gate agent shook his head, and she wilted for a second before throwing back her shoulders and marching to the next gate. “What the hell is she doing?”

“Well, genius, it seems like she’s looking for someone.” Jacks pushed him forward a few steps. “I can’t imagine who.”

Ryan hitched his backpack higher and starting moving again, picking up his pace until he was damn near running. Bri had already finished with the second agent, and she was heading across the open space to the next cluster of gates. “Bri.” She didn’t pause, didn’t seem to hear him. “Bri!”

She turned a slow circle, as if she wasn’t quite sure what she was looking for. Then she caught sight of him and sprinted in his direction. He caught her halfway, yanking her into his arms, as if by holding her he could actually wrap his mind around the fact that she was here.

Her breath came in harsh pants. “I didn’t think I was going to find you before you left.”

“I’ve been calling. I left you a message.”

Bri clung to him. “My phone’s dead. I flew into Atlanta last night and was in such a hurry that I forgot my charger and then when I was driving there wasn’t anywhere open late enough to stop and buy one and—”

He kissed her, trying to communicate everything he’d left in that last message. When he finally came up for air, she blinked. “Wow.”

“I’m sorry, honey. I shouldn’t have said that shit to you before I left.”

She stepped back, though she kept a hold of his hands. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for. I’m the one who let my fear get the better of me. And I am afraid, Ryan. I’m terrified I won’t be able to handle your leaving me repeatedly. I’m worried that something will happen to you while you’re gone, and I’ll have a complete meltdown and backslide to the helpless kid I was.”

He couldn’t imagine asking her to go through that. Not for him. “Bri—”

“Please let me finish.” She smiled, though it wavered a little around the edges. “I’m terrified, but I’ve spent my entire life without meeting someone I connect with like I connect with you. I can’t let you fly off without trying to make it work. Really trying.” She bit her lip. “If you’ll let me.”

“Oh, he’ll let you,” his friend chimed in behind them.

“Shut up, Jacks.” He dragged her into his arms again and claimed her mouth. She went soft against him, her arms going around his neck. Kissing her felt like the most natural thing in the world.

It felt like coming home.

Cheers broke his concentration, reminding him of just where he was. Ryan pulled back with a sheepish grin. “Forgot we had an audience.”

Bri blushed a pretty shade of crimson. “Me, too.”

He cupped her face, tipping it up so she met his gaze. “How about we both try?”

She was already nodding before he finished the sentence. “I’ll wait for you. As long as it takes.”

She’d wait for him. The one thing he never would have dreamed of asking, and she was willing to do it. “We’ll make this work. I promise. And I’d like to get a place in Wellingford.”

“Wellingford?” She frowned. “But you hate it there.”

“I never hated it, exactly.” He brushed her bangs out of the way. “Besides, I recently met this really wonderful woman who’s in love with that little town, and spending time with her has helped me start to see the place through new eyes.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. So if you’re willing to work with me for a bit, we could have the best of both worlds.” He took a deep breath. “I think I’m falling in love with you, Brianne Nave.”

She kissed him again, ignoring the cheers around them, only stepping back when they were both breathing hard. “Well, I am falling in love with you, Ryan Flannery. Of course I’ll work with you. Now and always.”

It figured that she couldn’t help one-upping him, even in this. That was okay. If things went according to his plan, Ryan would have an entire lifetime to turn the tables on her. He grinned at the possibilities.

A lifetime of making new memories with Bri? He couldn’t wait.