In Over His Head

Chapter 12

Lexie stared at Josh, standing on her porch. Josh with his weight propped on a pair of crutches, his right leg wrapped from the knee down in a cast, and a hell of a shiner surrounding his right eye.

What on earth had happened? When she'd seen him on TV, he'd been fine. Had he competed in another rodeo?

She ruthlessly cut off the barrage of questions and gave herself a mental slap. Not your problem, Lex.

Yup, what a relief this guy was no longer on her radar screen-him and his cast and crutches and bruises. 'Cause if he were still on her radar screen, her stomach would be clenching and her heart thumping at the sight of his injuries. And she didn't feel the least bit clenched or thumped. Nope. Not a bit. And the fact that she couldn't find her voice around the lump in her throat? Just an aberration. And that moisture pushing behind her eyes? Just the fact that she hadn't dusted lately.

Raising her gaze from his cast, their eyes met. Dozens of memories she'd thought she'd sorta, kinda, almost filed away under "the past" bounced through her mind. Damn it, why did he have to darken her doorstep and resurrect those images she'd worked so hard to bury?

A sheepish half grin pulled up one corner of his mouth, flashing that damn sexy dimple. "Are you going to invite me in?"

She wanted to say no. Wanted to slam the door in his face, to shut him out of her life and mind. Whatever his reason was for blowing through town and stopping by and flashing his dimple, she didn't want any part of it. Because he would just leave again. How many times was she expected to bear the pain of saying goodbye to him?

Raising her brows, she lifted her chin and forced a coolness into her voice. "I suppose I'd better invite you in. If I don't you might lose your balance on those crutches and topple into the flower bed." She stepped back to give him room to enter the foyer.

"Thanks." The rubber tips of his crutches sounded a soft splat against the ceramic tile.

"Would you like some coffee?" she asked, closing the door, trying her darnedest to ignore her traitorous heart, which seemed to thump out in Morse code, He's here! He's here!

"Coffee would be great."

She followed him into the kitchen, absolutely not noticing how at-home he looked in her house, instead forcing herself to note the fact that he handled himself on those crutches like a pro. No doubt due to lots of past practice from a long line of rodeo-related injuries. Yup, good thing he was no longer her problem. She might love him, but that would fade in time.

Yeah, like in a hundred years, her inner voice snickered. While he settled himself in the kitchen chair he'd always occupied during their fling, she measured out scoops of fragrant grinds into the filter. Why was he here? And why didn't he say something? She at least had a reason for her silence-the big lump blocking her throat. What was his excuse?

She added water, then switched the coffeemaker on. Unable to put it off any longer, she turned around and faced him. Their eyes met. Just looking at him, her heart tumbled down to her toes, taking her stomach and a few other vital organs along for the ride.

When he still remained silent, annoyance trickled through her. Whatever he wanted, it was time he spoke up. Then left her alone. And clearly she was the one who was going to have to get things moving along here.

She cleared her throat. "So you injured yourself in the rodeo. I have to admit, I'm having a very hard time not saying 'I told you so.'" Humph. Take that and stick it in your Stetson, hotshot.

"Didn't get hurt in the rodeo."

She pointedly eyed his cast. "Slipped on the deck while sailing the Mediterranean?"

"Nope. I fell at the airport. Here. Last night. Tripped over my damn duffel bag." He leaned forward, resting his forearms on the table. "Was all your fault, I'll have you know."

Her eyes goggled. "My fault? That you tripped?"

He nodded solemnly. "I'd set down my bag to dig out my cell phone. I was dialing your number when, through the windows, I saw this gal getting into a cab. I didn't see her face, but she had your curly brown hair. I thought it was you-"

"It wasn't."

"I realized that when she turned her head, but unfortunately I'd already started forward. I tripped on my duffel and went down like a hog-tied calf. What followed was more embarrassing than anything I've ever faced. People all gatherin' around and starin', then the ambulance arriving. Talk about feeling like the south end of a horse." He shook his head. "I spent the whole friggin' night in the emergency room getting X-rayed and outfitted in this cast. Definitely not the way I'd hoped to spend the evening. I would have called you, but I, uh, know how you feel about getting calls from the hospital. So I waited until I was discharged, and… here I am."

"Yes, here you are." Looking big and vital and wonderful, albeit bruised, making her heart perform acrobatic leaps. "May I ask why you're here?"

Without taking his gaze from her, he slowly rose, then hobbled toward her. He stopped when only a foot separated them, then leaned forward, bracing his hands on the countertop on either side of her, caging her in. She pressed her backside harder against the counter, but there was no escaping, unless she wanted to give him a shove. Given the facts that he was injured, and her traitorous body was very happy to have him standing so close, she opted against the shove. Instead she gazed into his serious eyes and prayed he couldn't hear her heart pounding.

"I'm here," he said in a low, husky voice, "because this is where you are. And where you are, is where I want to be."

Elation and something akin to panic collided in her. Clearly he wanted to continue their fling. And while her body and mind were all for it, her heart wanted no part of the inevitable battering it would receive when he left again. And damn it, she resented that he obviously believed he could just pop into town and drop by. As if they were still involved. As if their fling hadn't ended.

Forcing a calm detachment that surely deserved an Academy Award, she said, "Is that so. And how long are you in town for this time, cowboy?"

His gaze never wavered. "That depends."

"On what?"

"You."

The intensity of his gaze burned her. Heat emanated from his body and although he hadn't touched her, she still felt scorched. His clean, masculine scent filled her head, notching up her temperature another few degrees. She had to resist the urge to fan herself.

No doubt about it, he was potent, and his nearness was nearly impossible to resist. It would be so easy to fall back into his arms, to touch him and to be with him, to resume their fling. But nothing between them had changed.

She raised her chin. "I fail to see how I would affect the length of your stay. Our relationship ended a month ago."

"No. A month ago, I had to leave. Now I don't have to. Unless…"

"Another rodeo comes along?"

"No. Unless you want me to. And even then, I gotta tell ya, you're going to have a hell of a time gettin' rid of me."

A flicker of hope sparked in her chest, but she ruthlessly extinguished the tiny flame like a blown-out candle atop a birthday cake. "Look, Josh. I'm not interested in another temporary fling."

Whatever reaction she'd expected from him, it certainly wasn't the relief-filled smile that relaxed his features. "Well, now that's exactly what I wanted to hear. 'Cause I'm not interested in another temporary fling, either. And not to put too fine a point on it, but I believe we'd agreed at some point that we were dating."

"And it didn't work out. And nothing about our situation has changed. I don't understand-"

"Oh, but everything about our situation has changed," he broke in.

"Really? How do you figure that?"

"Well, for starters, I've hung up my spurs for good." Clearly her doubt showed, for he added softly, "And I can only ask that you take my word on that, Lexie. I don't make promises I can't keep, and my rodeo days are done. Not because I have to, but because I want to. I beat Wes Handly in Monaco, and set a new record while I was at it. I'll always love the rodeo, but it's time to move on." His gaze rested on hers. "To other things I love."

Her heart and breath seemed to stall. Good thing her lungs knew how to operate on their own, because all her faculties appeared frozen.

"While I was in Monaco, I rented a sailboat," he continued. "Hired myself an experienced captain, and spent an entire day sailing around the harbor. Under his watchful eye, I operated the boat, then I let him take over while I just watched the water and thought about how much I wished my dad was with me and how he would have loved being there."

The sorrow in his eyes tugged at her and she briefly touched his upper arm. "I'm sorry he wasn't, Josh."

A sad smile lifted his lips. "Me, too. But I accomplished what I'd wanted to, and in my heart, I know my dad was with me in spirit. It's another chapter now officially closed."

Tenderness filled her. "I'm glad your sail and your rodeo victory brought you the peace you sought."

"They did. The entire trip taught me a lot. Like about the whole travel-the-world thing." A sheepish expression crossed his face. "That was really more my dad's dream than mine, and to be perfectly honest, I think I've seen enough of it for a while. I'm not a big fan of the jet lag, and going places isn't much fun when you're going by yourself."

"But you were surrounded by rodeo people!"

"Yeah, but that isn't whose company I wanted." His gaze searched hers. "I missed you, Lexie."

Splat. Great. Her heart just fell onto the floor.

Before she could fashion a reply, he reached out and gently traced the tip of his index finger across her cheek. "I missed you so much, I couldn't stand to be away from you any longer. So here I am. For as long as you want me."

She blinked twice, certain this was a dream and she would wake up and find herself alone. But he remained standing in front of her, dark eyes watching her intently. She swallowed to moisten her throat. "What about your ranch?"

"That's the reason I didn't return here sooner. I had to go back to Montana and settle my affairs there. My ranch is in very good hands, being run by men I trust. I'll need to travel back there once every few months, not only to keep an eye on things, but because it's in my blood." He cupped her face in his hands. "But you're in my blood, too. And I was hopin' you'd agree to come with me when I visit the ranch. We could split our time between here and there. I think you'd learn to love Manhattan and the ranch as much as I do."

"What exactly are you saying?" she asked, no longer able to douse the hope his words ignited.

"I'm saying that I want to be with you. That I've taken steps to solve our geographic problem. That I like it here in Florida. I like ridin' horses on the beach in the morning, swimming in the afternoon and sailing in the evening. I like sharing all those things with you." His thumbs skimmed across her cheeks. "Lexie, my mother, who was a very wise woman, told me something I've never forgotten. She said that in our lives, we have only one true love. Everyone else is either practice or a substitute."

"And which one am I-practice or substitute?"

"Neither."

That softly spoken word hung in the air between them. Lexie's heart, which had miraculously risen from the floor, beat so hard she could hear the thump in her ears.

Good Lord, she needed to sit down. She locked her knees to keep from slithering onto the tiled floor. Because unless she was losing her marbles-which was definitely a possibility-Josh had just told her he loved her.

Cautiously she asked, "You love me?"

"Like you wouldn't believe."

Holy cow. She wasn't losing her marbles! "When did you realize you loved me?"

His brow puckered. "Can't say that I can pinpoint the exact moment I knew, but it was pretty early on."

"Before you left for the rodeo?"

"Well before. In fact, I was in over my head pretty much from the get-go."

She raised her brows and tapped her foot. "You didn't tell me so."

"I wanted to, had planned to that last night we were together, but things didn't go as I'd hoped. Before I knew what had happened, I found myself standing in a deep hole. And when you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging."

Clearly another pearl of cowboy wisdom. "So you left."

"Yeah. Timing is everything in the rodeo, and I could see that nothing I said at that point in time would change your mind. But I knew I'd be back as soon as I'd taken care of the things I had to do-things that hopefully would change your mind. And that the timing would now be right." Easing his hands from her face, he braced his weight on one palm against the counter-top, then entwined the fingers of his other hand with hers. "I've laid all my cards on the table, Lexie. What I need to know is how you're going to play your hand."

A wave of love swamped her, nearly drowning her in its wake, filling all the spaces that had remained empty since he'd left. And for the first time since he'd walked out of her house, her heart didn't feel as if it were breaking.

Taking a deep breath, she managed a shaky smile. "Nothing fancy about my hand, cowboy. You've proven yourself a man of integrity, and I'll trust your word on the rodeo issue, although I will keep an eye on you to make sure you don't take up any other activities that are too dangerous. You're living proof that success doesn't have to change a person for the worse, and that a love of competition is different from being an adrenaline junkie. And also that a person can get hurt-" her gaze bounced between his cast and his shiner "-just doing everyday things."

She raised a none-too-steady hand and rested it against his clean-shaven cheek. The feel of his warm, firm skin beneath her palm shot a tingle up her arm. "Swimming, sailing and riding horses with you, visiting Montana with you, all sounds… perfect. With you sounds perfect. I love you," she whispered. "So much I can hardly stand it."

With a groan he leaned forward, kissing her with a passion and longing and heated possession that stated even more clearly than his words how much he wanted her. His lips left hers, blazing a hot trail along her throat. She tipped her head back, reveling in the sensation of his lips igniting her skin.

"So I guess this means we're officially dating again, huh?" she murmured, tilting her head to give him easier access.

Josh halted his exploration of her fragrant neck as a frown yanked his brows downward. Straightening, he looked at the woman he loved. She stared at him through heavy-lidded eyes, her skin flushed, her lips moist from their kiss.

"Lexie, I don't want to date."

She blinked several times. Confusion, along with something else that could only be described as wariness, replaced the arousal in her eyes. "You… you don't?"

"Hell, no. The dating thing just didn't work for us, so I vote we skip it. Let's get married."

He may have seen a more dumbstruck expression before, but he'd be hard-pressed to name it. She looked as if he'd just suggested they ride bareback all the way to Manhattan.

"Married?"

Amused by her stunned reaction, he leaned forward and touched his lips gently to hers. "Yeah. Married. You know-you, me, a minister." He leaned back and waggled his brows at her. "A honeymoon."

She didn't smile. Instead her very serious gaze searched his. "Are you sure you're ready for that kind of commitment?"

He rested his hand over his heart. "I am fully ready to be committed." His words brought a flash of amusement to her eyes. "And," he continued, "to show you just how serious I am, I brought you this." Reaching into his back pocket, he slipped out an envelope and handed it to her. "Open it."

She cocked a brow. "Odd shape for an engagement ring," she murmured with a mischievous grin. She pulled out the contents and scanned them, her expression turning to one of utter bemused confusion. "I don't understand," she whispered. "How…?" Her voice trailed off and she shook her head.

"That day we went horseback riding on the beach," he said hesitantly, sudden doubt assailing him. Damn, she looked pale and about ready to drop. Had he made a big mistake? "You said you wanted to live on the water. Then you pointed out a spot with some great waterfront property. Said there was a whole series of canals and hidden coves and that it was peaceful and private and perfect. I spent a good bit of time driving around, looking the area over."

He touched the signed sales contract between her fingers. "That particular lot appealed to me the most. It's real quiet, with lots of trees and situated on a deepwater cove. I spoke to a broker who told me it wasn't for sale yet, but that he expected it to come up on the market soon. When it did, the broker called me and I made an offer." She just stared at him, increasing his unease. "So, uh, I bought it. Just today. Thinkin' you might like it."

Her bottom lip trembled, and a fat tear rolled down her pale cheek. His insides froze with panic. "Whoa," he said, patting her awkwardly on the back. "Hey, don't do that. If there's one thing I can't take, it's a crying woman."

"I can't believe you did that," she said, the tears coming faster.

"Me, either." He looked frantically around for some sort of tissue, and grabbed the closest thing-the dishtowel resting on the countertop-and gently dabbed at her wet cheeks. "Please stop crying. I'll talk to the broker. There must be some way out of the agreement. Shouldn't be a problem, especially since there was someone else interested in the land."

She made a noise that sounded like a laugh, but surely wasn't since tears still streamed down her face. "Me," she said, thumping herself on the chest like Tarzan. "I'm the someone else who was interested in buying it."

He stopped mopping her face. "You're joking."

"I'm not. I've been waiting for ages for that cove plot to come on the market. And just before you arrived here, Darla had broken the news that someone-someone who I promptly wished a flea infestation upon-had outbid me." An incredulous laugh escaped her, and she flung her arms around his neck, nearly unbalancing him.

"You are the most wonderful, romantic, thoughtful man," she said, covering his face with kisses between words. She leaned back in the circle of his arms and beamed at him. "I'm overwhelmed."

"Well, that's a relief. And now, you'd better hope that your flea-infestation wish doesn't come true, 'cause I have no intention of being any farther away from you than this-" he pulled her closer and smiled "-for a long, long time."

She wriggled against him, inspiring a groan of want in him. "You won't hear any complaints from me," she murmured.

"Glad to hear it. But you haven't officially answered my proposal." He looked into her beautiful, love-filled eyes. "So what do you say, darlin'-wanna be my cowgirl?"

She treated him to a slow, sexy smile that nearly stopped his heart. "Like you wouldn't believe."