Instant Gratification

Chapter 21

Stone watched Emma stride toward him, her legs eating up the ground. He wondered if she was going to mention that she was leaving.

He’d have guessed that the thought of leaving would make her happy. Yeah, he’d really thought that, except the look on her face didn’t say happy. It said frustration.

It said tension.

It said unhappiness. “Dr. Sinclair,” he said with mock formality, hoping to coax out a smile.

It didn’t. She stopped before him on the steps of the lodge, and when he reached for her, she jabbed him in the chest with a finger. “You should have told me.”

Okay, he’d play. He grabbed her finger. “Told you what?” That when she looked a little hot under the collar like she did right now, he got hot?

She yanked her hand free. “I know you saved my dad.”

Ah, shit. That.

She let out a breath and lost some of her tension as she met his gaze, her own shiny, deep, and real. Very real. “Thank you for that, by the way,” she whispered. “I’m really glad you were able to get there as fast as you did.”

“I’d have done it for anyone, Emma,” he said, watching her turn and walk away a few steps. “And so would you. Thanks aren’t necessary.”

“You saved his life, Stone.”

“Yes. How many lives have you saved?”

She shrugged in acknowledgment of that. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you let me think his heart attack was minor?”

He sighed. “If you’d known, would you have agreed to stay?”

She turned back. Her eyes were cool now. “That question bites.”

“Yeah, it does.” But he needed the answer.

Shaking her head, she took in the sharp, craggy mountains behind her. “I’m scared to death for him,” she whispered, hugging herself.

At that, he let out the breath he’d been holding. Okay, he hadn’t been wrong about her. She cared, deeply. Question was, did she care for him as deeply? “Of course you’re scared for him. We all are. But he’s doing great.”

“I just wish I’d known. If we’d had the relationship he wanted,” she said quietly, “he’d have told me sooner. That’s my fault.”

“No, Emma, it’s not.” He pulled her around to face him. “He’s stubborn as a mule. A trait, I’m beginning to see is a family thing.

She shook her head as a small smile escaped. “You have this way of cutting right to the chase.”

“Saves time.”

“I just wish someone would have told me, that you would have told me. I thought-” She broke off, then shrugged. “I thought we might have had something.”

“Yeah?” He tried to get past the stab of the past tense of that statement. “I thought so too. You’re leaving.”

“I was always leaving.”

“Sooner than later.”

“Yes. Spence is leaving today and I’ll be a few days after him.”

“A few days?”

“By next week, certainly.”

While he tried to adjust to that, she said, “We have offers on the clinic.”

He closed his eyes. “He’s actually going to sell?”

“With the option of a contract for his services part-time so he doesn’t have to retire.”

“You’re worried about him, but you’re still going to leave?”

With a sigh, she started walking. “You don’t understand. After this week, he won’t need me full time.” She didn’t turn back to the truck, but walked across the wild grass in front of the lodge, and he followed.

“So you’re on the part-time daughter plan, is that it?”

“Yes, actually. I am.” She stopped and faced him. “That’s what our relationship’s always been, Stone. Part-time. If I could figure out how to do it differently, I would. But the truth is, the clinic is beyond him right now, and unlike what you seem to be implying, I’m not just walking away. I’m going to have him all set up before I go. I just wish I’d known about his condition sooner.”

Yeah. No way around it, he felt like a jerk for that. “Emma-”

“No, don’t.” There was a light breeze ruffling her hair and she shoved it out of her face. “You care about him. It’s good. It’s good that I know your loyalties are with him. It makes you trustworthy.”

He stared at her, not liking where this was going either. “But not trustworthy for you?”

“Honestly? I don’t know.”

Damn, if that one didn’t hit home. “You know what I think? That you’re using this as an excuse to run scared from whatever the hell it is we’re doing.”

“First of all, we’re not doing anything. We’re both geographically unavailable, remember? And second, you really think I’d use my father’s health as an excuse?”

“I think you’d do anything to get out of here. Away from the emotional roller coaster this place has presented. Compared to us, New York must feel like a dead zone. No personal emotions required.”

“Don’t,” she said tightly. “Don’t get me started. I came here for him. God, don’t you understand that? He needed me and I came.”

“And in return, you don’t need him at all? Is that what you’re saying?”

She let out a frustrated breath and then turned to walk again. “I’m a lot of things, Stone. Anal, obsessive, obnoxiously competitive…”

“Obstinate…”

Her lips quirked. “That, too.” She stopped and let out a breath. Closed her eyes. “You’re right. I’m looking for an excuse to blame you when the truth is, I’m so grateful that you were there that day that I don’t even care why you didn’t tell me. I’m picking a fight because…because I’m a coward.”

“What are you afraid of?”

“Leaving you.”

He let out a breath and stepped closer. “So don’t go.”

“I have to. I am leaving, Stone. I am. I want us both to know that.”

Feeling like he’d swallowed sand paper, he nodded. “I know it, and I want you to know that I didn’t tell you because it was his story to tell, not mine. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I care about him, and I care about you. Very much.”

“Even though I’m going.”

“Even though you’re going.” He forced a smile. “You think if you say it enough times we’ll get used to it?”

“Yes.”

Fair enough. He reached for her, so over fighting with her. They didn’t have enough time left to fight. “Let’s be done rumbling in the parking lot.”

She tried to remain stoic and utterly failed as a small smile crossed her face. “I don’t know. I like to rumble.”

God, he loved her smile. “Let’s kiss and make up instead.” Reaching up, he set his palm on her jaw, then winced.

She pulled his hand down and looked at it. “You have a splinter.”

“It’s no big deal”

“It’s already getting infected.”

“Later.” He tried to lean and kiss her but she slapped a hand to his chest. “Wait here.” She grabbed her bag out of the truck. “Come here. Unless,” she said with a raised brow. “You just want to use a Band-aid or super glue on this too?”

“Ha ha. I’m fine.”

“You will be. I have everything I need right here.” She patted her bag and smiled reassuringly. “And there’s not a needle in the mix, I can promise you.” Without waiting for him, she took his hand again, pulling it closer, turning it to get better light. It also blocked his view of the tweezers she’d pulled from her bag, which amused him. “You think I’m a pansy-ass.”

“No, I know you’re not.” She paused. “I’ve been thinking about what you said last night.”

He felt a very slight tug in his palm. “About…?”

“The letting me inside you thing.” Her gaze lifted from his hand to his eyes. “Specifically the part where I don’t connect.”

“Oh. I like the letting me inside you thing better.”

She laughed, and he felt another slight tug, but then she was leaning in so close that her breast brushed his arm, and he ceased to think at all.

“Did you know when you say it that way?” she murmured. “It sounds…”

Another slight tug, which didn’t bother him in the least since another part of him altogether was once again stirring. “Sounds…?”

“Dirty.”

“You think sex is dirty?”

One more tug and then she ran her thumb over his palm, her gaze direct and intent on what she was looking at. “You heal fast.”

He grabbed her wrist when she would have turned away. “Nice change of subject.”

She smiled. “I’m the master at it.” She pulled her hand free. “Your splinter’s out.”

“Thank you.”

“And no.” She squirmed. “By the way. I don’t think sex is dirty. Although, we had our moments, didn’t we.”

He grinned. “Yeah.” He looked at his palm, while his heart thudded heavily with the weight of pretending that her leaving wasn’t going to destroy him. “Nice bedside manner, Dr. Emma.”

“Working on it.”

He cocked his head and studied her. “Is that what that was? Flirting, to distract me from what you were doing?”

“I didn’t intend for it to be flirting necessarily. But yes, I was trying to distract you.”

“Nicely played. Sex is always distracting. But why the change of tactic?”

She sighed. “I watched Spencer deal with a patient who needed stitches, and he did it better than me.”

“Ah.” Now it all made perfect sense. “It’s a competition thing.”

She winced. “I liked the look on the patient’s face. She…she liked him. She connected with him, because he made her feel better. I wanted that too, wanted to make you feel better.”

Touched, he took her hand. “You know, I like this new you.”

Clearly uncomfortable with that, she looked away. “It’s the same old me.”

“Well whoever it is, I like her. So…back to that connecting thing.”

“Yeah, about that.” She closed up her bag, then looked at him. “Look, we all know that I didn’t want to be here in Wishful. But it takes a lot of energy to hold onto that much resentment. I had no idea.” She shook her head. “I must be burning calories left and right with it, because do you have any idea how many casseroles I’ve eaten in the past few months, and I haven’t gained an ounce. But I can’t do it anymore. No more resentment. Instead, I want to…”

“Connect.”

She smiled, looking relieved that he was following her. “Yeah.”

“Before you leave.”

“Yes.” She took a step into him and set her hand on his chest. “I want to go knowing I learned to fit in. That I learned to be…softer, kinder. More relaxed and laid-back, easygoing. Like you, Stone.”

She hadn’t taken her hand off his chest, which he considered fair game, so he put his hands on her as well, gently squeezing her hips, pulling her in, feeling the tension in her. “You’re not there yet.”

She looked down at their bodies now touching from chest to belly to thighs and everything in between, then back up at him, her eyes heating. “I know. That’s because when I’m with you like this, I don’t feel relaxed so much as…revved up.”

“Is that right?” He slid his hands up her back slowly, past her still slightly aching ribs, letting his fingers dig into her muscles just a little in a massaging pressure. “How about now?”

Her pulse kicked. Her nipples hardened, pressing against her silk top.

“Feel nice?” he murmured.

“Nice makes me think of kittens and flowers.” Her pulse was fluttering like crazy, which he liked. A lot. “I’m not thinking kittens and flowers, Stone.” She pressed into him, and he knew the exact moment she felt how hard he was because her eyes locked on his.

“Yeah,” he said huskily. “My body thinks you’re hot.”

“And your brain?”

“Oh, my brain knows it.” He tilted her head up so that their mouths were only a whisper apart. “Let’s forget everything else, Emma, and connect.”

“And the rest.”

“Right. Let’s teach you to be laid-back. Easygoing. I’ve got just the thing.”

“Well…in the name of personal growth then,” she whispered, letting her fingers play with his hair at the nape of his neck.

“In the name of personal growth.” They kissed, long and deep and so hot he nearly melted.