Italian Tycoon, Secret Son

CHAPTER NINE

THE lights were out in his room, but the shutters stood open, letting in a soft blue glow.

‘Don’t look at me,’ Renzo said.

Mandy was about to protest that his damaged appearance didn’t repel her, but she decided that actions would be better than words. And there was another reason, one that attracted her even more.

‘Remember the darkness?’ she asked him as she drew the shutters closed, blocking out the light. ‘There was snow on every side of the hut except the side that was missing. It blocked out all the light, so that we had to use a torch sometimes, and at other times we managed without light.’

‘I remember. And the cold.’

‘We huddled under blankets and kept warm together.’

‘It wasn’t cold when you were there. You drove it away.’

She took his hand and laid the fingers on her buttons, letting him know what she wanted. He began to undress her slowly and she felt his fingertips just brushing her skin. The very lightness of that touch drove her wild. She wanted more, and then more. She wanted everything from him, but she forced herself to be patient, though it was hard when she could sense the time coming.

He drew her close, so that her breasts touched his skin, and she felt him tremble. For a while they held each other like that, exchanging warmth and comfort as much as desire. He dropped his head onto her shoulder, which was not easy as she was so much shorter.

‘You’re so tiny,’ he murmured.

‘Delicate,’ she teased softly.

He gave a choke of laughter. ‘Yes, delicate.’

She drew back the duvet and they lay down, hurriedly removing the rest of their clothes and tossing them onto the floor.

‘We did this last time,’ she reminded him, ‘and we had to use the torch to find them the next morning.’

‘We couldn’t see anything,’ he said. ‘I held you safe, because I was afraid if I let go, you’d vanish. Don’t vanish now.’

‘Here I am.’

‘I remember this,’ he whispered, trailing his fingers over her breasts, down to her tiny waist. ‘And you sighed as though you loved it.’

‘Mmm, yes, I did. And there was something you loved too-I know that because I was exploring, trying to find what pleased you-this?-or this?-or perhaps a little differently, and I must have got it right because you suddenly yelled-’

‘Don’t stop!’ he said violently. ‘Just keep doing that.’

‘That’s what you said,’ she cried joyfully.

She’d begun by meaning to repeat their first lovemaking as closely as possible, trying to jog his memory, but now there was another avalanche sweeping her away on a torrent of passion and all else was wiped out of her mind.

And then the sweetest thing of all happened. The old connection between their minds was there again, so that she knew what was taking place inside him as clearly as if it were in her own mind. He’d begun with caution, fearful of weakness in his damaged body, but when desire overtook him he forgot everything but the need to love her, claim her.

She gasped with pleasure as he took possession, and she knew him at once. In so many ways he was a stranger, but not now. This was the same man who had loved her two years ago. His touch was the same, his hot breath on her face, the feel of him between her legs, inside her, seeking, finding, demanding, giving.

As he finally drew away she wanted to cry aloud with triumph and delight. At their deepest, most intimate moments, Renzo had made love to her with the same tenderness and consideration she’d known in him before. Which meant that his true self was still there deep within, and only needed her to call him back to life.

Lying on his back, Renzo kept one hand on her body, unwilling to let go.

But she slipped away from him, out of bed, towards the window, opening the shutters just a little so that a soft light came into the room. It was just enough for him to see her there, a shadowy figure with an air of unreality. He held his breath as she moved towards him, swaying a little until she sat beside him on the bed.

She touched his chest where the scar was just visible, then lay across him so that her cheek was against it. Once he would have flinched from that contact, hating to be seen by someone who remembered him as he once had been. But with her there was no longer fear. There was only peace as the locked doors opened in his mind and he saw who was standing beyond them.

‘It was you,’ he murmured. ‘It was always you.’

‘Yes, it was always me.’

‘I told you that I loved you,’ he said, ‘and that I was glad to say it to you and nobody else, that it would always be you, for however long we had.’

‘Then you left me,’ she said, ‘and I thought it was for ever.’

Mandy lifted herself a little and looked down his length, smiling.

‘What are you thinking?’ he asked.

‘What do you think I’m thinking?’ she teased.

‘I never knew that, and I guess I never will.’

‘It wouldn’t be so hard to guess this time,’ she murmured provocatively.

‘Little cat,’ he said, seizing her and tossing her onto her back.

‘You guessed right.’ She chuckled.

Then speech faded and the only sound was a long sigh of satisfaction as she wrapped her arms around his neck, drawing him as close as she could, until they were both drained.

Despite his exhaustion, Renzo felt mysteriously flooded with strength, something he hadn’t known for two years and which he’d never expected to know again. At some time in the recent past there might have been pain, tension, misery, but he could no longer remember as he sank into sleep.

Somewhere on the edge of his consciousness there was a little black cat, not running away now, but contentedly licking its paws, with the air of a creature who’d come home.

They were awoken by the sound of the bedside telephone. Renzo answered and Mandy saw a horrified expression come over his face.

‘All right, I’ll be down fast,’ he said, getting out of bed. ‘That was Lucia. There are two men waiting in my office, with an appointment. I forgot. Look at the time. I’ll see you later.’

He gave her a quick kiss and vanished into his bathroom. Mandy gave a wry smile. She’d pictured their waking differently, perhaps as the moment she could tell him her secret. But she wasn’t entirely displeased to have this happen instead. She wondered when Renzo had last slept late and forgotten a business appointment. And the vigour in his movements as he headed for the bathroom suggested that he’d benefited from their night together.

As she gathered her things she noticed a photograph on a shelf by his bed, and wasn’t surprised to see Bruno’s face, its likeness to Danny even more pronounced.

She was humming as she gathered her things and headed for her own room.

Downstairs, she found Teresa in an impish mood, pouring coffee with an air of triumph. ‘I told Lucia not to disturb him,’ she said. ‘To hell with business. You’ll do him more good.’

‘Not if he loses a deal,’ Mandy remarked. ‘I hope you don’t get into trouble.’

‘That depends on you,’ Teresa said mischievously. ‘You be nice to him and he won’t be cross.’

When she’d finished breakfast there was still no sign of Renzo, so she collected some papers Ferrini had given her and took them out into the garden. The job was proving more rewarding than she’d feared and she read for an hour, although with half her mind she was wondering how Renzo was faring with his neglected clients.

In fact, he was doing well. If Mandy could have been a fly on the wall she would have appreciated the speed and efficiency with which he charmed them out of their annoyance, wrapped up a big order and sent them on their way. Then he went in search of her, quickly spotting her in the garden.

Something about the sight of her sitting in the sun made him smile. He was still smiling as he moved outside and stood beneath a tree, watching her.

Before he could speak, her cellphone rang. She answered, and immediately joy filled her face.

‘Hello, darling! Oh, how lovely to hear from you! I was about to call you, just to hear your voice. What’s that? Yes, I miss you too. I’m just longing for us to be together again-for always and always. I love you-if only you knew how much I love you. Do you love me? Truly? Say it again-just one more time.’

Renzo, hearing every word, watching her radiant with happiness, felt a slow death creeping inside him. He should move away. It was shocking to eavesdrop. Yet stone weights held him to the spot.

She laughed, and the sound went through him, ripping him apart as it went. Much worse was the way she threw back her head as though yielding to some blissful satisfaction.

In just such a way had she lain beneath him last night, her head tossed back in eager abandon, offering him her very vulnerability as a gift. How he had loved her for that! How easy it had been then to offer his own vulnerability in return, something he’d never done before in his life.

He’d trusted her. And all the time-

The thought that she’d seen him defenceless brought him so close to violent rage that he began to retreat into the shadows, desperate to get away lest he do her harm.

Mandy neither saw nor heard him. All her attention was for the phone and the gurgling voice of her son until the gurgles turned into a shriek of laughter, and Sue took his place.

‘He was talking to me,’ Mandy said. ‘Real words.’

‘Of course he was.’ Sue laughed. ‘I definitely heard “Duh” and “Ugh”.’

‘Oh, ye of little faith. He said he loved me, and then he said it again. Wait until you’re a mother, then you’ll know.’

‘I believe you. How are things going there? Have you told him yet?’

‘No, but I’m nearly there.’

They talked about domestic things for a while, then she hung up and sat contentedly, musing on her happiness. She was close-very close-to her heart’s desire.

Then, as she glanced around the courtyard, something strange happened. Although she was alone she had a sudden irrational conviction that somebody had been standing there beneath the tree. There was nobody there now, yet the conviction persisted.

She went inside to the kitchen, where Teresa was making more coffee.

‘Is Renzo still in the office?’ Mandy asked.

‘No, that’s him in the hall, heading upstairs,’ Teresa replied. ‘He seems to be in a rush.’

Running upstairs, Mandy saw Renzo’s bedroom door open. He was inside, sitting on the bed, and when he looked up she was shocked. His face was grey, tight and harsh.

‘Renzo, what is it? What’s happened?’

His eyes were like stones. ‘Perhaps I should be asking you that question.’

She moved nearer. ‘I don’t understand.’

He rose and moved away as though he didn’t want to be too close to her.

‘I thought I’d found the one trustworthy woman in all the world,’ he said softly. ‘More fool me. I should have asked you questions, shouldn’t I?’

‘What kind of questions?’ she asked, stunned by the hatred in his eyes.

‘About you. About your life. About who you’re sleeping with these days. You know all about me, but I’ve taken you on trust.’

‘And now you think you shouldn’t have done?’ she asked, angry in her turn. ‘Are you going to tell me why?’

‘With pleasure. And when I’ve done that I’m going to throw you out with even more pleasure, and after that I never want to hear of or see you again. Because I don’t forgive. I thought you were…different. You made me think so back then, and again when you turned up here. But you just wanted to make a fool of me.’

She was too appalled to speak. This was the man she’d seen that first day-bitter, savagely angry, looking at her with something like hate.

Mandy’s head was whirling but she forced herself to be calm. She couldn’t afford to weaken now. She’d never seen so much concentrated fury in anyone’s face-and the sight of it directed at herself, from the man who’d loved her so tenderly the night before, filled her with dread.

‘Renzo, wait,’ she said. ‘Listen to me.’

‘Listen to you? I never want to hear another word you say.’

‘But how has this happened-after last night?’

‘Don’t dare mention that. Last night I believed in you, believed you might actually love me.’

‘But I-’

‘Don’t say it. I couldn’t bear to listen. Did you enjoy last night? Did it give you a good laugh? Did you call him afterwards and joke about how easily you tricked me? Or did you just snigger inside at how easily I succumbed?’

‘You must be quite mad to talk like that,’ she said, growing angry. ‘Why would I trick you? Why would I want to?’

‘I can’t imagine. Why don’t you tell me? Why did you come here!’

‘Because I spent two years grieving for you. I cried myself to sleep night after night because I thought you were dead. Those last two days we had together you were different, marvellous. I fell in love with you and it nearly drove me out of my mind when I thought you were gone.

‘When I heard you were alive I couldn’t just leave things there. I had to find you and know if you remembered me, if you were the same man-’

‘Don’t tell me lies,’ he said contemptuously. ‘It was an end game, wasn’t it? You did what you liked with me last time, and you had to prove you could do it again. Well, you did. Congratulations on your success. I jumped through all the hoops, didn’t I?’

‘Renzo-’

‘To think I carried you in my heart as a beautiful dream, someone too lovely to exist. Shall I tell you what happened to me after I fell? I lay in that frozen place for a time I can’t even guess. I was in such pain that I prayed for death. I thought you were dead too and after the time we spent together I didn’t want to live without you.

‘I saw you. You were there, beckoning me on, taking me to the place where you were, and we could be together for ever. I felt myself reaching out to you. I couldn’t have done because my whole body was trapped, frozen, but my heart reached out. I’d have followed you anywhere.’

‘Why did you never tell me this before?’ she cried in anguish.

‘Because it was wiped from my brain by everything that happened afterwards. I forgot it as though it had never happened. When I awoke I had only fractured memories that I couldn’t understand.

‘But last night everything came back to me as clearly as if it were yesterday. I lay in your arms after we made love and I was back there, buried under the snow again-everthing was the same except that there was no pain. You were with me, beckoning just as before, but not to death-to life. A whole new world opened because you were with me.’

He closed his eyes suddenly, as though the memories were more than he could bear.

‘Renzo,’ she whispered, going to him.

‘Stay away from me,’ he snapped, opening his eyes again. ‘Don’t touch me, don’t come near me. Just listen. I’d forgotten everything except my confused fantasies, but when you first came here and I finally saw you, it seemed that the fantasies were reality. I didn’t want to believe it. I tried to be cautious, to warn myself that no woman could be trusted, but I couldn’t help myself. Against my own will, I trusted you. That will teach me to be more careful in future.’

‘For pity’s sake, where does all this come from? Where did you get these crazy ideas?’

‘Do you know how much I’d give to believe they really were crazy? If only I could turn the clock back to before I heard you, and make it not happen!’

‘Heard me? Heard what?’

‘In the garden a few minutes ago. You should be more careful about taking phone calls.’

‘You were down there,’ she breathed. ‘I thought so, but then I couldn’t see you.’

‘Or you’d have been more careful,’ he raged.

‘About what?’

‘Calling him “darling”, telling him you loved him.’ He suddenly moved close to her, his eyes deadly. ‘Last night it was me you loved, or so you said. Today it’s him. Who’s in line for tomorrow?’

Mandy clenched her hands, close to hitting him for the desecration of what had been perfect. For a moment every feeling was expunged except a hatred that was as fierce as his own.

‘I’m going to make you sorry you said that,’ she breathed.

‘That’s doubtful. I enjoyed it too much.’

‘I’ll bet you did. Well, here’s something else for you to enjoy. You want to know who I was talking to? His name is Danny Jenkins.’

He paled. ‘Your husband?’

‘My son.’

That checked him, but only for a moment. ‘Really?’ he queried with an emphasis of contempt. ‘Are you going to tell me who his father is?’

‘I’ll do better. I’ll show you who his great-grandfather is.’

She snatched up the picture of Renzo’s grandfather from the bedside table, thrust it into his hands, then opened her purse, took out the snapshot of Danny that she always kept with her and held that before him.

‘This is my son,’ she raged. ‘Danny-short for Danilo.’

Slowly Renzo sat down, clicking from one picture to the other, with their likeness so pronounced that Mandy knew that he couldn’t doubt the child was his. But now she hated herself.

She’d dreamed of how she would tell him-gently, lovingly. She’d pictured his happiness as he understood the new hope that had opened before him.

And in the end she’d hurled everything at him in bitter, cruel rage and now nothing would ever be right again. She wanted to howl and bang her head against the wall.

She looked at Renzo, wondering what damage she might have done with her clumsiness. He’d placed the snapshot on top of his grandfather’s picture so that he could see them together. He seemed transfixed.

‘He was born at the end of October,’ she said. ‘Just nine months after we were together. Renzo-’

She touched his shoulder, worried by his silence.

‘I have…a son,’ he whispered.

She dropped to her knees beside him. ‘We have a son,’ she said. ‘Yours and mine. I used to wish he looked like you, but he’s the image of your grandfather.’

‘It never occurred to me…’ he murmured. ‘I just thought of myself, didn’t I? All this time…Why didn’t you tell me before?’

‘Because I couldn’t. The day I arrived and saw how you were, how could I have told you then? You’d have thrown me out-’ she gave a faint wry smile ‘-even faster than you actually did.

‘Ever since then I’ve been waiting for the right moment, but it didn’t come. You couldn’t remember that we’d made love, and without that you might not have believed me.

‘But after last night I hoped. I was going to tell you this morning, but you had to hurry away. Then Sue called me-she’s the friend who’s taking care of Danny-and she put him straight on. We talk every day. He can manage quite a few words, and the rest of the time he gurgles. I talk to him as though he can understand everything. He’s so bright.’

‘You called him Danilo,’ he murmured.

‘What else should I call him? He’s yours. In here-’ she touched her heart ‘-you never died. I couldn’t let you go, and you’re there in Danny. He’s a beautiful baby. Just wait until you see him.’

‘When will that be?’

‘I’ll call Sue and she can bring him over. It’s probably too late for her to travel today, but tomorrow. Before I left England I fixed him up with a passport so that he could travel at a moment’s notice. I was always going to bring him-if you wanted him.’

‘If?’ he breathed. ‘Please, get him here as soon as you can. We’ve lost too much time already.’

She called Sue, who promised to call back when she’d booked tickets. An hour later it was all sorted.

‘Tomorrow,’ Mandy said, hanging up. ‘The flight lands at midday.’

Renzo didn’t reply in words and she wondered if he’d heard, but the next moment he embraced her in a hug so fierce that it almost squeezed the breath out of her.

‘We’ll be there,’ he said fiercely and walked away, leaving her standing alone.

Mandy was too wise to follow him. It would have been wonderful to laugh and rejoice together, but she knew by now that this was a deeply troubled man and there was still some distance to travel. For the moment it was enough that he was glad about his son.

She found Teresa, told her everything and smiled at the older woman’s beaming delight.

‘I get a room ready for your friend,’ she said. ‘There’s a nice one right next to yours.’

It was a perfect choice. The room was large and airy. Teresa had a maid cleaning it out within minutes, decorating it with flowers until it was fit for a queen. Mandy gave her an impulsive kiss of gratitude and only wished she could call Renzo to see how his household was preparing for his son.

She didn’t meet him for the rest of the day. As dusk fell she looked out of the window and saw him in the garden by the fountain, staring into the water.

By late evening she still hadn’t spoken to him, and sadly she decided to go to bed. She heard him go to his own room and the door close with a depressing sound of finality.

But a moment later there came a soft knock on her door, and when she opened it she found him looking like a man who wasn’t sure of his welcome.

‘I’m sorry to disturb you,’ he said.

‘You can disturb me any time you like, surely you know that?’ When he didn’t move she took his hand. ‘Come in.’

He let her draw him in until they were both sitting on the bed, but when she tried to kiss him he stopped her.

‘Don’t you have something you want to say to me first?’

‘About what?’

‘About the way I behaved this morning, hurling abuse at you after last night.’

‘Perhaps remembering last night made it worse. We were so close, and if you thought I’d betrayed you-’

‘You’re very generous, but we both know I was out of control. I was cruel. I’ve never thought of myself as a cruel man, but I said terrible things just to hurt you. Can you forgive me?’

‘There’s nothing to forgive.’

‘Yes, there is. I shouldn’t have flown at you like that. I should have asked you calmly who you’d been talking to.’

She could almost have laughed at the way he said ‘calmly’.

‘You could have been calm if you didn’t care,’ she said gently. ‘Let it go. There’s no harm done.’

She spoke confidently but in her heart she knew that it wasn’t really that simple. Somewhere in a distant place in his mind Renzo’s demons were still howling. And he knew it. And was afraid.