Do not gloat over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise.
AROUND TWO O’CLOCK IN the morning, the moon was a mere hook of gold in the black, star-studded sky. All of the circus patrons had gone home, and now, all of the performers were gathering around a great, blazing bonfire in the center of the imprisoned otherworlders.
Vika shook with the force of her fear. Not for herself, not this time, but for the newcomer.
Blue Eyes, she’d begun to call him. The fifteen-dollar fee her father had lost coupled with the money for “damages” and the irritation of having to deal with an irate human were to be taken out of Blue Eyes’s flesh.
The male had not roused since the drugs had hit his system, but only because he’d been given a fresh dose every hour. Her father had wanted him docile until the right time, which just happened to be when all of his employees and Vika’s charges could witness Blue Eyes’s punishment.
The performers had brought lawn chairs and now placed them in front of the cages. There was Rasa, the elf-size bearded lady with hissing snakes growing from her chin. There was the sword eater, the she-male with four hands, the conjoined gymnasts, and seemingly a thousand others.
Blue Eyes was on his knees, slumped over, his cuffs bound to hooks protruding from a man-made stump. The fire blazed beside him, casting rays of gold over the deeply bronzed skin of his bare back. There was no longer any hint of red. But there would be. All too soon, there would be, and it would be red of a different sort.
Jecis kicked him in the side to wake him, and cheers abounded.
As Blue Eyes lifted his head, he blinked rapidly, perhaps fighting to focus. Jecis walked around him with arms lifted high. In front of the otherworlder, he stopped, turned to face his people.
“This man—this disgusting creature—dared to touch a human without permission,” her father called, riling the crowd. Vika continued to read his lips. “He had every intention of causing irreparable damage—after he had been warned to behave.”
A chorus of “boo” swept through the masses, the vibrations nearly rocking her off her feet. She surveyed the people she’d grown up with, hoping, praying to find one sympathetic face, that someone, anyone, would stand up and shout, “This is wrong. I won’t let you hurt that man.” Someone with the strength to force her father to back down.
Instead, she discovered malicious glee and vicious enjoyment. Expressions all the more maniacal because everyone still wore their performance costumes, having come here directly after the last show. There were sequins, feathers, short fluffy skirts, lace and fishnets, oiled chests and pants practically painted on.
These people were outcasts, accepted only for how they entertained. Now, they wanted to be entertained. Actually, they probably felt as though they deserved a good show. Jecis had charged admission, after all.
The muscles in Blue Eyes’s back knotted and his spine straightened. He scanned the area, suddenly alert. Someone threw a handful of popcorn at him, the fluffy yellow kernels raining over him.
Fury blazed in his eyes . . . a fire far hotter than the flames crackling beside him.
Please, she projected at Jecis. Don’t do this.
“Let this be a lesson to all,” her father continued, turning . . . turning . . . to face everyone in the assembly. He was saying more, but his back was currently to Vika, so she couldn’t read his lips. The crowd liked it, whatever threat or insult he’d issued, because laughter erupted.
Then he was facing her again, and he was saying, “—know that to disobey is to suffer.”
Cheers joined the laughter. Her stomach churned. And as much turmoil as she’d reacted to lately, she felt as if she could have made butter with it.
As her father stretched out his hand, as Matas slammed the handle of a whip against his palm, Vika shrank back into the night’s gloom. Jecis wanted her blood, and if he caught sight of her, she would get a whipping, too.
Something strange had happened today. A few minutes after Matas had left her trailer, the lights had flickered again. She had opened the door, expecting to have to deal with him a second time.
Instead, her father had been there. Scowling. Enraged.
“You dared disobey me? Dared place yourself in danger, when you know you’re the most precious thing in the world to me?”
He shoved her backward, stormed in after her, and slapped her.
“I—I’m sorry,” she’d managed.
“Why would you do this to me?” Slap. “Why would you force me to hurt you like this?” Slap.
But that time, he had yelped in pain. Him. Not her. As if her skin had somehow cut at him.
Then a voice had whispered inside her mind. An actual voice, the first sound she’d heard in years. Shocked to her core, she had rubbed at her ears, shaken her head, only to realize the sound hadn’t sprung from out-side—it had sprung from inside her. And yet, it hadn’t belonged to her. Her shock had morphed into confusion, her confusion into dread.
Was she crazy?
You don’t have to accept this, the voice had said.
Then a little louder, You are strong.
Then a lot louder, You are victorious.
Maybe she was crazy, but she was also empowered, as if his words imparted strength straight into her core. She’d somehow gathered the courage to scream in her father’s face, “No! I won’t let you do this to me!”
He’d stumbled back a few steps, as though reeling, before stopping and popping the bones in his knuckles, gearing up for the serious stuff. But instead of hitting her with a closed fist, he had paused, a bead of fear appearing in his eyes. Fear. Directed at her!
“I’m needed in the ring,” he’d muttered, baffling her further. “I’ll deal with you later.”
And he would, fearful or not. He never forgot a punishment due, and he never forgave, never showed mercy. Not even to her, his supposed beloved. That was why she’d decided to go back to the zoo and check on Blue Eyes. After all, a beating was already waiting for her. What better time to disobey and do what she wanted?
As she’d snuck out of the trailer, the voice had returned. Later, you will again fight back. Later, you will again win.
“Who are you?” she’d asked. “What are you?”
Silence. And yet, a warm blanket had seemed to wrap around her, embracing her, only to fade a second later, as if it had never been. As if she’d just been hugged and released.
But . . . that would mean she wasn’t crazy. That would mean something had tried to help her. Something . . . like the absolute good in that other realm? After all, if evil could manifest, it made sense that good could, as well.
“I can’t fight back later,” she’d said. If she became too much of a problem, Jecis would finally make good on his threat to blind her. He might even kick her out of the circus, and she would find herself on the streets, unable to get to her money, with no skills, no protection . . . no hope.
A flash of movement caught her attention, pulling her from her thoughts. Jecis had just unwound the whip. The end was split into three parts, one with a shard of glass, one with a large nail, and one with a splintered piece of wood. A lump grew in her throat, and her chin began to tremble. Blue Eyes was going to hurt tonight.
She almost wished she were the one slumped over that stump, that she would be the one to receive the coming lashes. A stranger had tried to hurt him, and he had defended himself the way she had always wished she had the strength to do. He deserved to be commended, not disciplined!
Guilt over this would destroy her.
Blue Eyes scanned the crowd a second time, slowly, so slowly, slowing even more . . . until his gaze finally rested on her. Vika’s eyes widened as astonishment and confusion flooded her. He couldn’t see her. He couldn’t. No one could. She was to the far left, wrapped in a cloak as black as the night and enveloped by shadows.
Jecis moved behind him.
Blue Eyes’s gaze moved away from her, stopping on . . . the otherworlder Vika had named Kitten, who was gripping the bars of her cage, her expression laced with fury. He gave her a nod of reassurance.
He’d worked fast. At the circus only two days, and already he had romanced a female.
A spark of jealousy heated Vika’s chest. Jealousy? Seriously? But why?
Blue Eyes despised her, surely, and he would continue to despise her until Vika’s escape plan was enacted or until he died at this circus—whichever came first.
She looked away, her gaze catching on the Targon. “Matas!” he called.
Matas gave no reaction.
The Targon tried again. “Matas! Face me, coward. Face your doom.”
Still nothing from Matas.
There were too many cheers to distinguish a single voice, she supposed. Again, she wondered why the Targon hated Matas so intently. As far as she knew, the two had never chatted.
Jecis lifted the whip high in the air. New vibration after new vibration slammed into her, and though she could hear nothing, she suspected the cheers were now obscene. A muscle jumped in Blue Eyes’s jaw.
Grinning, Jecis delivered the first blow.
Specks of blood and tissue flew in every direction. Vika flinched and pressed her fist into her mouth to stop herself from gasping. But Blue Eyes never even flinched—and he was once again peering at her.
“I’m sorry,” she mouthed. “So very sorry.”
A second blow was delivered.
Again, Blue Eyes remained as he was and again Vika flinched. How could Jecis do this? How could anyone be this pitiless?
A third blow rained. More blood and tissue sprayed, and Vika knew the damage to Blue Eyes’s poor back was deep, beyond the need for stitches. Actually, there would be nothing left to stitch.
With the fourth blow, Vika’s knees gave out and she sank to the ground. No one deserved this kind of treatment. No one but the whip wielder himself. Tears pooled in her eyes, hazing her vision. How could she let her father do this?
Shame joined the guilt and beat through her with the same force with which the whip continued to beat against Blue Eyes. She should do something. Should try and stop her father, no matter the consequences to herself.
But did she? No. She was weak. Pathetic. A coward.
You should just end it all, a voice whispered inside her head.
Another voice, she realized with astonishment. Not the same sweet voice as before, but a deeper one, suggesting she . . . kill herself?
You’ll feel better. Everyone else will feel better. What’s not to love about the idea?
Pinpricks of evil brushed against her skin—evil she recognized from Jecis, Matas and that other realm—and the truth hit her. She really wasn’t crazy. The voices were real.
One sought to help her.
One sought to destroy her.
Well, she’d endured too much to give up now. All she had to do was stick to the plan, continuing to save and sell the presents her father gave her—and stop hemorrhaging cash to secretly buy niceties for the otherworlders. One year, she reminded herself.
Hope is silly. What if your treasures are stolen before you can sell them—what if your cash is stolen after you sell them? What if your father discovers your plan? Do you really want him to have the satisfaction of killing you?
“I’m not listening to you,” she whispered. “Go away.”
Surprisingly, the evil crackle in the air faded.
Another blow was delivered to Blue Eyes, stopping the most bizarre conversation she’d ever had. Another flinch on her part. Hopefully that was the end of it—but no, again and again the whip descended, until Blue Eyes had received fifteen agonizing strikes.
A panting Jecis dropped the weapon and wiped his blood-spattered hands together in a gesture of a job well done. He looked Blue Eyes over, frowned. Actually, every person in the crowd was frowning, Vika realized. They were staring at Blue Eyes as if he were a monster wearing a tiara: terrified yet awed.
Why?
“Anyone helps him, and they die,” Jecis announced. “And if you think to fight your way free and run,” he added, stomping over to kick Blue Eyes in the stomach, “go for it. There’s a tracker in your cuffs. I’ll have you back in that cage by morning, and you’ll wish the whipping had killed you. Oh, and if you try to remove the cuffs, you’ll activate the blade-saws and they’ll remove your hands.” He laughed cruelly. “A little safety precaution I had installed.”
Blue Eyes didn’t even glance in his direction.
Jecis whisked around. “You and you,” he snarled to two of his biggest employees. “Stay here the rest of the night and watch him.”
With that, he stomped away with a grinning Matas close on his heels. Most of the others followed after him. There were a few stragglers who hung back to gauge Blue Eyes’s reaction to the threats. He remained just as he was, his expression blank, his gaze locked on Vika.
Thankfully, fatigue from a long, hard day’s work and the knowledge that another day just like this one loomed on the horizon soon got the better of the stragglers and they tottered off, leaving only the guards. One was stationed at the east end of the captives’ circle and one was stationed at the west end.
Vika gazed at the otherworlders in the cages. Most were gripping the bars, like Kitten, and some of their expressions were filled with horror while some were filled with relief. If she aided Blue Eyes and they sounded an alert, she would only bring more trouble upon his head. Or back.
But why would they sound an alert? Jecis would return, and could very well direct his anger at the prisoners. But then again, if they remained silent, he would know they’d witnessed her actions and punish them tomorrow. Or maybe he would be too angry with Vika to consider the otherworlders’ part.
Either way, she wasn’t going to worry about her father right now. She couldn’t. Too well did she know the pain of being beaten, then left alone and hurting, desperate for someone, anyone, to help. Abandoning Blue Eyes wasn’t an option.
Heart thundering in her chest, Vika snuck up behind the first guard. Gulping, she flipped back the hood of her cloak and tapped him on the shoulder. He spun to face her, tensed.
“Vika,” he said, his expression hardening. He looked behind her, as if he expected her father to pounce. “What are you doing here?”
She forced a grin, held up her hand . . . the one with the ring she’d purchased only a few weeks ago, for just such a moment as this . . . and blew. Has to work. A fine, dark powder misted over the man’s face, the same drug Jecis used to sedate the otherworlders. He coughed, his skin flushing with color, and she retreated into the darkness. A moment later, his knees collapsed. He hit the ground, already unconscious.
“Bernard?” the other guard said, striding forward. He reached his friend and crouched down—and Vika was there, crouching as well, blowing powder in his face. He too coughed and fell, landing on top of his buddy.
She waited, just to be sure. Both males remained in place.
A small measure of joy burst through her. It had worked!
In an hour, they would awaken and they would remember what she’d done, but they wouldn’t tell Jecis, she didn’t think. Most likely they would rather undergo chastisement for sleeping on the job than cast blame upon her and suffer an even worse fate.
Vika rushed forward, dropping to her knees the moment she reached Blue Eyes’s side. His head was turned toward her, his cheek resting on the stump, his jaw clenched. His eyes were closed, the long length of his lashes fanning out. Flecks of blood had splashed onto his face. Unable to stop herself, she reached out and tenderly brushed the hair from his brow.
He met her gaze. “What are you doing, Vika?”
“Helping.”
“Don’t. I’m not in a nice mood.”
A tide of warmth rose inside her, washing through her. He thought to protect her from himself. He was as beautiful as he was strong, she realized, and she hated seeing him brought so low by such evil.
I should have stopped this. I should have done something.
Well, she was doing something now.
“I must.” As quickly as she was able, she unhooked the cuffs from the stump. Despite the fact that Blue Eyes was still awake, he slumped forward, making no effort to stop his momentum.
She caught him before he hit the ground. He was too big and too heavy for her to drag back to his cage. Plus, his back . . . oh, sweet mercy. Bile burned a path up her chest. Up close, she could see exposed hunks of muscle, decimated tissue, and blood leaking into a thousand tiny rivers.
The tears returned to her eyes. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered. She eased him to the ground as best she could, felt a vibration, and suspected he’d moaned. It was his first reaction to what had happened. Either the action had hurt him worse than the whipping or he didn’t mind revealing his pain to her.
She straightened, intending to rush to the edge of the clearing where she’d stored food and medicine and other supplies, knowing she would have to feed the prisoners and doctor Blue Eyes swiftly, without alerting anyone at camp. But before she could take a single step, surprisingly strong fingers wrapped around her ankle.
“I’ll be back,” she said, and pointed to where she needed to go.
Blue Eyes maintained his grip. Shadows and golden firelight flickered over his face, twining light with dark, and while she could see that his lips were moving, she couldn’t make out the words.
“Let go,” she said, and prayed she hadn’t yelled. “You’re too weak to do anything to me, and besides that, I have salve over there.”
This time his grip tightened. “I’m not too weak. And I warned you I’m on the edge.”
Her gaze darted through the area, but no one jumped out at her. A blessing, surely, and one she might not receive again. Unable to think up any other option, Vika sat down. Still Blue Eyes maintained his hold on her ankle, forcing her to curl into a ball to meet his eyes.
She placed one hand on her throat, and said, “What do you want from me?”
“I told you what I wanted.”
Just now or before? Deciding to brave it out, she said, “Let me guess. Freedom. Well, too bad. You need medical attention first.”
He frowned at her.
Great. Had she missed by a mile? “Let go of me, or I’ll fight my way free and leave you here. And before you think that will allow you to crawl away to lady liberty, know that I’ll knock you out first. My father wasn’t lying. There’s a tracker in the cuffs, and you’ll be better off staying put.”
“What about you? Will he beat you for helping me?”
“That’s none of your concern.”
Blue Eyes said something, but his lips were moving too quickly for her to track.
Uneasy, she gulped. “Has anyone ever told you that, uh, your accent is too thick to translate?” A question wasn’t a lie, now was it?
The frown returned, darker than before. “You’re staring at my mouth. Stop.”
Her gaze snapped up. “I’ll stop the moment you let go of me. How’s that?”
The intensity of his crystal gaze held her in thrall before she realized his mouth was again moving. She looked down, and he pressed his lips together. Frustrated, she looked up—and he once again began to move his mouth. She looked down.
He paused, and just before she beat at his chest in frustration, he said, “You’re deaf, aren’t you?”
Her entire body stiffened. How had he guessed? No one had ever guessed. Had the other prisoners heard him?
She gritted out a sharp, “I hope you felt silly saying that.” An evasion wasn’t a lie, either, though it wasn’t exactly the truth. But too many people tried to take advantage of her when they knew of her infirmity. “I have medicine over there. Let me go, and I’ll make you feel better.”
“Why?” he demanded.
Her gaze flipped up long enough to catch the slitting of his eyelids, the color darkening his cheeks. “Why what?”
“Why do you want to help me?”
Why indeed. “You’re hurting.”
“So?”
Before she could reply, not that she knew what to say, his gaze slid away from her, over her shoulder. Fearing one of the performers had stumbled upon them, she twisted, ready to leap up and toss out some kind of threat. But again, no one jumped out at her.
Several seconds passed before she calmed down enough to curl back up and meet Blue Eyes’s gaze. “I must hurry,” she said. “Or do you desire another whipping—and to watch one be delivered to me?”
A moment passed without any reaction from him, and she thought that surely no one else in the world could hide their emotions like this man. Then, to her surprise, he released her without further argument. She hopped to her feet and rushed to her supplies.