Lead Me Not

chapter twenty-two

aubrey

we pulled up in front of Maxx’s uncle’s house a little after one in the afternoon. I wondered why Landon wasn’t in school and asked Maxx about it.

“It’s a teacher workshop day. He’s been on me to come by and help him with his car, but I’ve been busy,” Maxx answered, sounding defensive. Something told me being busy wasn’t why he hadn’t been by to see his brother, but I didn’t push it.

Maxx went around to my side of the car and opened the door for me. My heart fluttered at the gesture. I had never pictured Maxx as being the sort of man to open doors for women. I was happy to be wrong.

I went up on my tiptoes and pressed my mouth to his. The kiss was warm and comforting and over far too quickly.

Maxx pulled back slightly and gave me a tender smile. “What was that for?” he asked.

I kissed his chin, then loosened my hands from around his neck. “For surprising me,” I answered. Maxx’s smile became questioning, and he chuckled under his breath. He pulled me tighter into his embrace.

“Remind me to surprise you more often,” he murmured, and it was my turn to laugh.

“Get a room!” a voice called out. Maxx and I broke apart, and he grinned over his shoulder at the young boy who stood on the porch.

“Shut up, Landon,” he called back, rolling his eyes at his brother.

Maxx grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the modest ranch-style house. It was a bit on the shabby side and needed a new coat of paint, but other than that it was being maintained.

Maxx ruffled his brother’s fine, blond hair as he walked up the porch steps. “How’s it going, buddy?” he asked Landon, who ducked out from beneath Maxx’s hand.

Landon smiled when he saw me. “I remember you! You’re that chick from Maxx’s school!”

Maxx smacked the back of his head, then put his arm back around my waist. “This is most definitely not a chick, Landon. Show some respect,” he reprimanded, and I could only laugh.

“Well, she’s a hot chick. Is that better?” Landon asked, wearing a smirk almost identical to his brother’s.

“That’s it. You’re overdue for an ass kicking,” Maxx teased, feigning a lunge in the younger boy’s direction.

Landon jumped off the porch and sprinted around the yard, Maxx not far behind him. The two ended up on the ground, wrestling good-naturedly. I couldn’t stop laughing as I watched them roughhouse.

When Landon finally freed himself, he punched Maxx in the back, and the two carried on with their antics until we were inside the house.

Maxx put an arm around my shoulders and grinned. He was relaxed and comfortable. It was obvious he was happy being with his brother. He kissed the top of my head, and I placed my hand on his chest as he pressed me to his side.

Maxx turned to his brother, who was pulling grass out of his hair. “Landon, I want to introduce you to my girlfriend, Aubrey Duncan. Aubrey, this is my little brother, Landon,” Maxx said, beaming at the two of us.

Landon’s eyes widened. “Girlfriend? Really? I don’t think you’ve ever had one of those before,” he joked. I felt my face get hot. Had he really called me his girlfriend?

Shit, I was Maxx Demelo’s girlfriend!

I couldn’t stop myself from grinning like an idiot.

Maxx reached around me to smack Landon on the back of the head. “You really need to disengage your mouth from your brain before I kick your ass again,” he warned, though there was no threat in his tone. I had never seen Maxx like this before. He was laughing and smiling. His entire demeanor had changed drastically. Gone was the tortured man I had grown accustomed to. This person was someone who was content with his life.

Landon kicked off his shoes and led Maxx and me into the house. It was very apparent that guys lived here. It wasn’t filthy or dirty, but any former tidiness had been replaced with clutter and mismatched furniture. I was in eye-twitching hell.

“Thanks for coming over. David shouldn’t be home until later, so I thought we could work on the car.” Landon darted a look at me. “But we don’t have to. We can just hang out or something.”

I held up my hands. “No way, I want to watch your super-mechanic skills in action. Don’t let me stop you.”

Maxx, who hadn’t let go of me, rubbed my arm. “You just want to see me all sweaty and dirty, don’t you?” he murmured in my ear. I flushed and cleared my throat, shooting a look at Landon, who thankfully wasn’t paying us any attention.

I smacked Maxx’s chest weakly, and he chuckled into the side of my neck before placing a soft kiss on my skin. I tried not to shiver at the innocent touch.

We headed into the kitchen. It was small and cramped, with a table and chairs pushed against the wall and dishes piled up in the sink. I had to suppress the urge to start washing them.

Maxx headed over to the refrigerator. “You got anything to drink?” he asked, pulling it open.

“No, uh, why don’t you have some water,” Landon replied hurriedly, trying to shove the fridge door closed.

Maxx frowned and gently pushed his brother aside. He opened the door and let out a growl.

“When was the last time you went to the store?” Maxx asked, clearly unhappy, his mood changing instantly.

Landon hung his head, his shoulders slouched. “I don’t know,” he mumbled.

I peered around Maxx into the open refrigerator and saw that it was empty save for a few cartons of beer.

Maxx slammed it shut and hit it hard with his fist. I jumped, his violence catching me by surprise. He had been happy only moments earlier, but now he was fuming. Landon, however, didn’t so much as blink an eye. Clearly, Maxx’s fits weren’t unusual.

Maxx pulled his keys out of his pocket and marched to the front door. “Get your jacket; we’re going to the store,” he announced.

Landon and I followed behind him. “You don’t have to do that, Maxx. I can go during the week,” Landon protested.

Maxx whirled around to face his little brother. “This is bullshit, Landon! The money you get every month is for you! Not so David can fuck off and piss it away on hookers and poker!” Maxx’s hands clenched into fists. “I’ll start coming by once a week and taking you to the store. That way I’ll know you have something to eat.” He took a deep breath and leveled his brother with a look that brooked no argument.

Landon glanced at me, and I could tell he was embarrassed. “Sure,” he muttered, walking past his big brother and back out onto the porch.

Maxx rubbed his temples, closing his eyes and letting out a frustrated breath. When he had collected himself, he looked at me and gave me a sheepish smile. “Sorry about all this,” he apologized.

I shook my head. “Don’t. He’s your brother. I understand wanting to take care of him. Let’s go to the store,” I said, tucking my hand in his.

He wrapped his fingers around mine, pulled me in, and gently kissed my lips.

The three of us went to the store and loaded Landon up with enough food to feed an army. Landon argued every time we put something in the cart, but Maxx wouldn’t hear any objections.

It took us half an hour once we got back to the house to bring in the bags and unload everything. Maxx had Landon put several boxes of Pop-Tarts, crackers, and cereal bars in his room.

“So he can’t take it all,” Maxx told him as he stuffed the boxes in the younger boy’s closet.

Slowly, Maxx’s anger disappeared, replaced by the easy companionship I had witnessed earlier. Watching the brothers together, my heart felt heavy, and I couldn’t help but miss Jayme.

My story had ended badly. I just hoped this one had a better ending.

“Come out to the garage! I want to show you what I worked on this week,” Landon enthused once we were finished putting everything away. Maxx grinned at his brother, slinging an arm around his narrow shoulders.

Seeing Maxx with Landon made it impossible to ignore the feelings I was developing for him. The caring nurturer that Maxx became around his brother made it easy to forget the parts of him that scared me.

I went with the boys out to the garage. The air was thick with paint fumes, and Maxx immediately hit the button to roll back the bay. “I hope you’re leaving the place open if you’re painting in here. You’ll catch stupid if you’re not careful. And you don’t have a whole lot of brain cells to lose,” Maxx joked, giving Landon a playful nudge.

Landon grinned at his big brother. He clearly loved being the focus of Maxx’s attention. He soaked up everything Maxx said, hanging on his every word. Landon had a major case of hero worship.

“I only did some touching up in here. Don’t worry,” Landon explained as he pulled the drop cloth off the large object in the middle of the room. The old Mustang had been painted recently, a bright, cherry red, with long flames down the back end.

Maxx was grinning as he walked around the body of the car. “Who did the paint job?” he asked, running a finger along the glossy exterior.

Landon’s grin was huge as he watched Maxx appreciate the car. “My buddy Tate has a cousin who owns his own body shop. He came and towed it over there earlier in the week. He did the paint job in exchange for me doing a bunch of odd jobs for him. Looks pretty sweet, right?” he asked, bouncing on his feet in excitement.

Maxx nodded, coming over to clasp Landon’s shoulder. “It looks awesome. Did you paint the flames?” he asked.

“Yep! I’d never used an airbrush before, and I thought I’d screw it up. But I think it turned out pretty cool! I designed the flames and did everything,” Landon said modestly.

Landon’s talent blew me away. The flames were done in varying shades of red, orange, and yellow, with shadings of black and gray. They had texture and depth, and it looked as though fire was literally licking up the side of the car.

“It’s amazing, Landon. This looks professional,” I piped up, walking closer to the car to have a look. I knelt down and ran my fingers along the paint job.

“You really think so?” Landon asked, coming to stand next to me. I straightened up and gave him a wide, genuine smile.

“Definitely! Maxx said you were an artist, I just had no idea you were so good,” I commented. Landon flushed with pride, puffing his chest out.

“Thanks, Aubrey! I’m hoping to go to art school when I graduate. Get into graphic design or something.” Landon glanced at Maxx, who still wore a smile, though it was now decidedly strained.

Landon turned back to me and shrugged. “We’ll see what happens, I guess,” he said, picking up on Maxx’s pointed silence.

I gave Maxx a tiny frown, but he wasn’t looking at me. His eyes were on his brother, his expression sad.

I cleared my throat, feeling the sudden tension. “So what’s left to get this thing road ready?” I asked, slapping my hand on the hood.

Landon’s face brightened. “We just need to swap out the alternator, put in new brake pads, and replace the fuel line.”

I turned to Maxx, who was digging around in the toolbox. “You do the work yourselves?” I asked. Maxx nodded.

“Where did you learn how to do this stuff?” I asked. Landon chewed on his bottom lip before answering.

“Actually from Uncle David. He’s really into cars, and when we first came to live with him, he’d work out here for days. If we wanted to spend any time with him then, we had to learn how to help. It’s a pretty good skill to have in the long run, though. It saves us a fortune in mechanic’s bills,” Landon said, popping the hood of the car and peering down.

“I’ll say. I always wanted to know more about cars. It’s tough being a girl and dealing with mechanics. They see a female and think they can charge double,” I said, staring down into the car. It looked like a mess of metal and dirt to me.

Maxx came up beside me and pointed. “Well, that’s the engine,” he teased. I elbowed him in the gut and he grunted.

“Smart-ass,” I muttered.

“Pull up a chair, Aubrey, and watch. We’ll turn you into a gearhead in no time,” Landon promised, smiling in that way of his that was so much like his brother’s. The two of them together wreaked havoc on my heart.

Landon turned on a small radio, and the boys started working together under the hood of the Mustang. I watched them, amazed at how deftly they maneuvered around the insides of the car.

They laughed and joked, and the atmosphere in the garage was cheerful.

Until a diesel truck pulled into the driveway, the engine gunning in warning.

Landon looked up at the sound and started hastily putting tools away. Maxx’s shoulders tensed, and his jaw stiffened. He started to help Landon clean up, purposefully not looking toward the figure coming our way.

“It’s about damned time you came by,” the voice called out. I looked from Maxx to the man who was approaching. As he got closer I was surprised to see an older version of Maxx and Landon.

Their uncle David was a good-looking man, if a bit on the paunchy side. He looked to be in his midthirties and walked with a confident swagger that reminded me a lot of Maxx.

But it was clear there was no love lost between David and his older nephew. Maxx gave his uncle a look of disgust as he entered the garage. David sneered down at the Mustang, kicking a tire with the toe of his boot.

“I don’t know why you bother with this piece of shit. You’ll never get it running,” he mocked nastily. Landon deflated a bit, and I wanted to smack the hateful smile off David’s face.

Landon continued to clean up, but he seemed to shrink in on himself. “I told you to keep this place neat and tidy; otherwise I’ll have this fucking car towed out of here,” David warned, knocking over a pile of boxes.

“Sorry, Uncle David. I’ll clean it up,” Landon replied hastily.

Maxx held his arm out to stop his brother from rushing over to pick up the boxes. “Landon didn’t make the mess, David. Why don’t you move your fat ass and do it yourself?” he growled.

David’s face turned red, and then his attention shifted in my direction. His dull blue eyes swept up and down my body, his lip curled in a lascivious grin. “Is this pretty piece of pussy an early birthday gift?” David asked. His blatant interest made me want to take a shower.

“Don’t talk about my girl like that,” Maxx snarled, grabbing my arm and pulling me behind him.

David laughed. “There’s no way you can hang on to a piece of ass like that, Maxxy.” David inclined his head in my direction. “A word of advice, baby, ditch the limp dick and find yourself a real man.” David licked his lips, and I shuddered in revulsion.

Maxx made a choking noise in the back of his throat, and for a brief moment I thought things were going to turn gladiator. David and Maxx stared each other down, neither giving an inch.

I gripped Maxx’s arm, digging my nails into his flesh, trying to stop him from what he seemed about to do. Finally, he looked at me. “We need to leave now before I take a crowbar to his thick skull,” Maxx snarled through clenched teeth.

He turned to his brother, who was picking up the boxes David had knocked over. “We’ve got to go, Landon. I’ll call you in a few days,” Maxx promised, his face regretful.

Landon nodded but didn’t lift his head as we left. Maxx pushed past his uncle, who reached out to grab his arm.

Maxx wrenched out of his grasp. “Keep your fucking hands off me,” Maxx snarled. David lifted his hands in surrender and chuckled a little nervously.

“I hope you left me some cash. Things have been a little tight around here.” David’s words were mild but clearly threatening as his eyes darted back to Landon, who was still cleaning up the mess his uncle had made.

The position Maxx found himself in as a result of his uncle was all too clear. David used Landon to get what he wanted from Maxx. And Maxx loved his brother too much to say no. How easy it had been for me to condemn his life at Compulsion; I hadn’t understood his motivations.

This was his motivation.

Maxx pulled out his wallet and threw two hundred-dollar bills onto the sidewalk before grabbing me by the arm again and pulling me after him.

“Thanks, Maxxy!” David called out, and I looked over my shoulder one last time to see the older man crouched down, picking the money up off the ground and Landon standing just inside the garage, watching us leave.

I lifted my hand to say good-bye, and Landon waved back. My stomach twisted in knots at leaving the younger boy by himself with his uncle. I could only imagine how Maxx felt each and every time he had to go home.

“Get in!” Maxx said gruffly, holding the door open for me. His entire body was trembling, and his eyes were manic.

I scrambled inside. Maxx slammed the door shut behind me before getting in the car. He pounded his fists on the steering wheel and yelled. It was a deep, painful sound that made me want to touch him, to comfort him. But something told me my actions wouldn’t be well received right now.

In quick, jerky movements, he started the engine and pulled away from the curb, not bothering to look for oncoming traffic.

“I hate that fucker!” Maxx howled, jerking the car right, then left, as he began the drive back to his apartment.

“I’m going to fuck that bastard up one day! When Landon doesn’t have to live there anymore, he’s going to find himself at the bottom of a seven-foot hole,” Maxx raged, swerving in and out of traffic.

My heart was beating wildly in my chest. I was worried about us getting back to the apartment in one piece. But I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want to be on the receiving end of his anger.

And something told me he wouldn’t hear anything I had to say anyway.

Once we got back to the apartment, I hurried to follow Maxx up the stairs. He didn’t wait for me.

He headed straight for his bedroom, not stopping to turn on lights or even to take off his jacket. The Maxx he had been earlier that morning was gone.

Maxx pulled out the drawer of his bedside table, sending it crashing to the floor. He fell to his knees and picked up the brown bottle that he always kept there but that I had hoped he’d never need again.

All the warm, fuzzy feelings I had been enveloped by earlier disappeared into a mixture of distress and revulsion as I watched Maxx shake several pills into his palm, then put them in his mouth. They made a sickening crunch as he smashed them between his teeth.

Then he shook out a few more, and they followed the first lot down his throat.

It was then that he looked up and realized I was still there.

“Go home, Aubrey,” he said tiredly, getting to his feet so he could fall onto his bed.

“Why?” I couldn’t help asking. I wasn’t sure what my question meant. Why did he let his uncle get to him like that? Why had his first instinct been to come home and get loaded? Why couldn’t he turn to me when he was upset? Why was I always competing with the bitch at the bottom of that bottle? He said he needed me, that he wanted me! But what did he turn to when things got rough?

Why couldn’t I be enough?

Maxx shook his head, putting an arm over his eyes. “Just go home,” he repeated dully.

And with a sad resignation, I left him, unable to watch as he fell down the dark pit he seemed determined to throw himself into.