With love to Joanie, Teresa and Cheryl. We've had some great laughs together, girlfriends! Oh, and what the heck, to Gerry, too, who brought us all together.
Blackthorn Manor, England, 1821
Lady Anne Baldwin had a reputation. And not a good one, or rather, too good of one. She was said to be kind and sweet, well mannered, and docile as a lamb for the most part. She'd tried hard her whole life to be a pleasing child to an aunt and uncle who found themselves suddenly burdened with an orphaned child when they planned to have none of their own.
But sometimes Anne did not feel like being good. Tonight was one of those times. She'd stolen from the manor house in the middle of the night to ride her horse across the moors. Something strictly forbidden to her since childhood.
A midnight ride in itself wasn't so daring, not since Blackthorn Manor in Yorkshire was quite isolated and she doubted that she would encounter anyone… but perhaps she might encounter some thing.
It was rumored that wolves still roamed the sparse woods surrounding Blackthorn Manor. The night was dangerous. And it was the prospect of facing it head-on that made Anne's heart pound faster, her blood sing through her veins. A wild hair had put her upon the path to rebellion. Anne had become bored with herself, and so she imagined others must find her every bit as boring.
No one had come to call on her since she took up residence at the country home. In three months' time she would turn twenty-one and not an offer for her hand on the table. It was because she was boring, Anne conceded. But she vowed she would change that… at least for one night.
The stable was dark and deserted. Anne hadn't thought to bring a candle or a lantern. Being bad was new to her, or she supposed she wouldn't have taken time to dress in a modest riding habit, stockings, and sensible boots or put her hair up. She should have crept from the house with her hair down, clad only in her nightgown. The fact that she hadn't disappointed her.
Storm, her mare, startled Anne when she nickered a greeting.
"Quiet," Anne whispered. "You mustn't wake the stable help. We are having an adventure."
A bridle hung on a peg next to the stall. Even in the dark Anne had no trouble finding it, then slipping it over Storm's head. A saddle would be more difficult. She'd have to go to the tack room and probably bang about until she woke someone. Did she dare ride bareback? Doing so would also call for her riding astride.
Once, when Anne was twelve, she'd told her old groom, Barton, that she wished to ride astride like a man. Barton had nearly fallen from his own mount in shock. He'd said a young lady must never embrace a horse between her legs. He'd said it wasn't proper. But it was a night for brave deeds and Anne decided she would ride bareback. She further decided that she would do so with her hair down, clad only in her underwear.
Reaching up, she unpinned her hair, allowing the thick mass to tumble down around her shoulders. With more trepidation, she considered the buttons down the front of her modest riding habit. She debated whether undressing might be carrying the rebellion a bit too far, then realized it was a sensible thought and she was to have none of those tonight.
After Anne rid herself of the gown, she shivered in the night air. Groping in the darkness, she found a bench, hiked up her petticoat, and balanced her foot on the bench. She removed her boots and rolled a delicate stocking down her leg.
She was in the process of removing the other one when she felt the first strange sensation. That of someone watching her. Gooseflesh rose on her arms. She glanced around the dark, deserted stable. Storm snorted and stomped in her stall, as if the horse also caught wind of something amiss.
"Is someone there?" Anne whispered.
No answer.
"Easy, girl," she soothed the horse. Anne suspected the animal had sensed her own sudden unease and was simply reacting to it. She glanced around once more but saw nothing… but wait, she did see something. Along the front stalls she saw a pair of glowing eyes.
Her heart lurched. What was it? A wild animal? But it couldn't be unless it was perched upon something, for the eyes were not close to the ground but higher up. A flint struck. The small flame moved to the end of a cigarillo and for a moment too brief to identify features, revealed that the presence with her was at least a human one.
"Are you a horse thief?"
The breath Anne held escaped in a relieved sigh. "You frightened me," she said. Whoever the man was, she didn't recognize his voice. "Who are you?"
He didn't answer, instead she felt as if his eyes were moving over her. Anne knew that was impossible. He surely couldn't see her any better than she could him.
"I'm the new stable master," he finally answered.
She'd heard her uncle mention securing a new man to run his rather impressive stable. Although sheep were the best they could do in the terrain, Uncle Theodore had a weakness for horses and prided himself on having the best. Should she introduce herself to the new stable master? Manners dictated that she should, but would he tell on her? Anne knew that her guardians, the Earl and Countess, would consider her behavior tonight inexcusable. They might go so far as to ban her from the stable and riding altogether. What difference would it make if she lied? He couldn't see her.
"I am Lady Anne, ah, her maid," she said. "I thought I'd go for a midnight ride."
"In nothing but skin and silk?"
Heat flooded her cheeks. How could he possibly know she wore only her unmentionables? He must have heard her moving about and somehow deduced she was undressing. "I borrowed the lady's riding gown, but then thought better of wearing it."
"You don't talk like a servant."
Drat, she was as unskilled at deceit as she was at being bad. Anne should have thought to mimic the cockney accent of most of the servants. He spoke with a different accent, as well. His words carried a soft burr. Scottish?
"My lady insists that my manners be highborn, even if I am not," she explained.
"And where are you off to? To meet a lover? Did you undress to save time?"
Again, the fact that he knew she wore only her undergarments unsettled Anne. Her plans must be abandoned now, all things considered. "I've changed my mind about a midnight ride," she said. "I'll just gather my things and go."
The glowing tip of the cigarillo fell to the ground. It disappeared a second later, Anne assumed beneath his boot.
"No need to go… without."
What did he mean by that? Anne groped in the darkness for her discarded clothing. When she straightened, she felt him at her back. His heat penetrated her chilled skin. He pulled her hair over one shoulder.
"Your lover will be sorely disappointed."
His familiarity with her stunned her, or Anne assumed that was the reason she stood rooted to the spot. "It makes no matter to me," she managed to say, her voice breathless.
Ever so soft, his lips brushed the side of her neck. "Then it makes no matter to me, either, lass."
A shiver raced up her spine. Her face flamed. "What do you think you're doing?" she demanded, her voice stronger.
"I don't think I'm doing anything," he answered. "I know what I'm doing."
He pulled her against him. Shocked, Anne dropped the clothing she had gathered. His body was hard… everywhere. He was taller than her; she could judge that much. Taller. Bigger. Stronger.
"I insist that you release me this instant," she warned. "I am not the sort who—" Anne abruptly cut her sentence short. She'd told him she was a maid, had not corrected him when he'd assumed she was off to meet her lover. She'd lied to him. What should she do now?
"Do you know how sweet you smell?"
The deepness of his voice raised the fine hairs on her arms. Anne had never heard a voice quite like his. Deep yet soft, lilting. It was hypnotic.
"I'm wondering if you feel just as good."
Slowly, his hands slid up her rib cage. Anne swallowed loudly, but again, she did not struggle. She wasn't certain if she was hypnotized or frozen with fear. His hands stopped just below the lower fullness of her breasts. A second later he cupped her firmly. Anne gasped. No man had dared touch her intimately before. She turned her head to protest, but he captured her mouth before she could utter a word. While his mouth boldly claimed hers, his scent found her, almost as physical as his touch.
It was an earthy scent, musky, male, mesmerizing. The scent filled her head with visions of naked bodies entwined upon rumpled sheets—of sweat-slick skin and quiet whispers. She moaned softly against his lips, and never breaking contact, he turned her to face him. His mouth pressed against hers until she opened to him. Then his tongue slipped inside.
Anne had never had a man's tongue inside of her mouth, and if anyone had told her men were wont to do such things, she would have thought it repulsive. But it wasn't repulsive. His slow invasion made her breathless. He tasted of mint and a hint of tobacco. His scent fogged her mind as his mouth worked against hers and stirred feelings she had never felt before. What was happening to her? Why couldn't she push him away? Bite him, do whatever she must to be free of him? Why didn't she want to?
"Please," she whispered.
"Please what? Do this?" He stopped kissing her long enough to press his warm mouth to her ear and nibble her earlobe. His thumbs brushed across her nipples and sent a jolt all the way down to her woman's core. Her knees shook beneath her petticoat. She ached in places she should not ache. None of this should be happening.
Sin had come to live in her stable and Anne was allowing it to have its way with her. She had wanted to do something daring tonight, but never had she imagined this. She shook her head, trying to clear her mind. It was if he'd cast a spell over her and she couldn't break free. But she must.
"You take liberties," she managed to say, and thank God her voice sounded stronger.
"I take what I can get," he countered. "I take what you will give me, and I'll give you all that you desire in return."
It took almost more strength than she had for Anne to step away from him. His hands dropped away from her breasts, and still they tingled from his touch. "And what do you have to give me?" she asked, her voice too snooty to be that of a maid. It was, in fact, a tone Anne never used. She wasn't the type to lord it over the servants.
The man reached forward and pulled her back into his arms. "Enough to satisfy a little thief out for a midnight tryst with her lover. Enough to bet you'll be back for more of the same tomorrow night."
His hips pressed against her, and innocent or not, Anne thought she understood what he offered her. She also understood that what he offered her was quite a lot. A maid for one night and she had been set upon and kissed for the first time in her life, touched in places no other man would dare touch her, and promised something she had no idea if any woman should or would want. At least Anne thought she knew what he had offered her.
"What is it you think to give me again?" she asked, staring up at him, although she couldn't make out a single feature upon his face.
He bent close. "Pleasure beyond your wildest imagination. You wanted a midnight ride. I'll give you one you won't forget."
When she swallowed, Anne was embarrassed to hear the gulping noise she made in the silence. No other man had dared to speak to her in such a manner. "You are arrogant," she said.
"Just confident," he argued. "There's a nice straw mattress in the loft overhead." His mouth brushed her neck and she shivered. "Come with me."
Anne had carried being bad too far. But she had trouble thinking when he stood so near, when he put off that intoxicating scent, when he whispered foul things in her ear. She realized she wanted to go to the loft with him. Whatever he was doing to her, she wanted more of it. But Anne was not a serving maid in truth, she was a proper young woman, and she was on the verge of making a mistake that could ruin the rest of her life. She found the sense to push him away and take a step back.
"I must return to the house. Maybe another maid will happen along shortly and you can try your luck with her."
He pulled her back into his arms. "I don't want another. She couldn't be as beautiful as you are to me. Or smell as sweet, or taste as good, or fire my hunger as no woman has fired it before."
Anne had been complimented by men, but never so boldly. This man was obviously trying to seduce her. And it was working. She was so very close to surrendering. Her will, usually too strong for her own good, seemed to melt away in his arms. This was ridiculous and she had carried the game too far.
"If you do not step away and allow me to leave, I will scream," she said.
The man withdrew so suddenly she shivered with the absence of his heat. Her eyes had adjusted just enough to the darkness to make out the white of his shirt. He seemed now to be leaning against a stall.
"No need to scream, lass. I never meant to keep you against your will. I thought you were looking for sport. I only meant to provide it."
Something in his lazy manner, his calmness when her nerves were rubbed raw, her senses more heightened than they had ever been in her life, greatly annoyed Anne. "You are very accommodating," she snapped, and felt an irrational flare of jealousy. Jealousy of herself? She was confused and needed to escape the devil and his intoxicating scent.
Quickly Anne bent and retrieved her things. "You'll see to the horse," she instructed automatically, then realized her tone was that of a person used to issuing orders and having them followed. "I mean, please," she added. "I've bridled her."
His teeth flashed white in the darkness. "I'll see to her," he said. "And I'm thinking on another night, I'll see to you, as well."
She wanted to argue the matter with him, but Anne had already said too much in his presence. He might not recognize her face in the light of day, but if she continued to converse with him, he would recognize her voice.
As much as she wanted to flounce away, her head held high as if his last statement had not affected her, Anne had no choice but to move slowly through the dark stable. She felt his eyes watching her. Even that was almost like a caress. Good God, who was this man who could so easily turn a female's mind to mush with nothing more than the sound of his voice, the touch of his lips, his strange scent? She pitied the poor maids sure to run across his path in the days ahead… or was "pity" the right word?
Anne made it to the door without falling flat on her face and hurried outside. She needed fresh air to clear her head. The back of her neck prickled and she knew he watched her even now. The temptation to turn and look at him in the moonlight nearly got the best of her. If she saw his features, then he'd be able to see hers.
Come tomorrow, Anne must pretend that she had never met the man who'd nearly seduced her tonight. Pretend she had never felt his mouth moving against hers, the brush of his fingers upon her skin, never heard the sound of his husky voice. Tonight she'd told her first lie. Anne supposed tomorrow she would try her hand at acting.
It was early the next morning when Anne met him. Her eyes felt swollen from lack of sleep. She'd lain awake much too long thinking of him once she'd reached the safety of her bed. Her lips were swollen, as well, and she knew what that was from. Lost in thought, she sat quietly dining upon breakfast with her aunt and uncle when a stranger entered the room. Anne had never seen the man, but she knew him instantly.
Her nostrils flared, her heart skipped a beat, and the hairs on the back of her neck bristled. The man didn't look her way but strode past her straight to her uncle.
"You sent for me, my lord?"
Her uncle dabbed his mouth with a napkin. "Yes. I thought you should meet my niece. She frequents the stable much more than the Countess and I find agreeable, but because she does, I will provide an introduction. You should know who she is and how she is to be treated when she visits the stable to ride."
The new stable master inclined his head. It was a dark head. His hair was as black as a moonless night. It hung to his shoulders, was thick and curled around his collar. His lashes were just as dark, just as thick, shielding his eyes from her until he glanced up and in her direction. Anne forgot to breathe. He pinned her with ice blue eyes and she couldn't seem to form a simple thought. He stared, and she stared helplessly back.
Slowly, the rest of his features came into focus. High cheekbones, chiseled jawline, indentations along the sides of his mouth… a mouth shaped with a gentle hand when nothing else about him hinted at any tenderness. He was big, and broad, and beautiful. And for a moment, she thought she had seen him somewhere before, but she knew she could not have.
"My niece, Lady Anne Baldwin," her uncle's voice managed to penetrate the fog in her head. "Lady Anne, this is our new stable master, Merrick."
"Lady," the stable master said softly.
Anne knew she had to respond. She couldn't say his name. It was too intimate. "Mister… ?" She let her voice trail.
His eyes never left her. "Just Merrick. I've no last name. Born on the wrong side of the blanket. You may call me by my given name."
She simply nodded but refused to do so.
"I'll tell you what I tell the rest of those who work for me," her uncle interrupted. "You are to treat my niece with the utmost respect. She spends far too much time riding her horse and lurking about the stable when she knows her aunt and I do not necessarily approve of her fondness for such things. We indulge her here in the country where it makes little difference. But being in charge, I expect for you to watch out for her, and of course with as much distance as possible between the two of you while you do."
"Uncle!" Anne was embarrassed by his instructions and by his bluntness in her company.
He held up a hand. "A man must know his place, Anne. Sometimes a man must be told his place so that he doesn't forget."
"Really, my dear," Aunt Claire fussed. "Must you embarrass the girl so early in the morning? I'm certain our new man knows good and well his place, don't you, Merrick?"
As if reluctantly, the stable master's intense gaze swung from Anne toward her aunt. "I've been put in it enough times to know it, my lady," he said.
"Interesting." Aunt Claire's gaze slowly swept over him. "That you have an English name and a Scottish accent."
"My mother was Scottish," he explained. "Grew up listening to her, so naturally I would speak as she spoke. Whoever my father was, he asked her to give me an English name. Not his name, mind you, whatever it was, but an English Christian name."
"That will be all, Merrick " Anne's uncle piped up, dismissing the man. "My niece rides every morning at ten o'clock sharp. Her horse is the bay mare in stall five. Be sure that the horse is ready for Lady Anne."
Anne couldn't ride this morning. It was out of the question. She needed time to gather herself. "I will not ride today," she blurted. "I-I don't feel well," she explained to her aunt and uncle, who both looked surprised by her statement.
"I would have a word with your maid."
Anne's eyes snapped toward the new stable master. "What?"
"Your maid," he repeated. "I would like a word with her."
"Old Bertha?" Aunt Claire's brow furrowed. "Why on earth would you need to speak to her? Not that she could probably hear half of what you say. She's going quite deaf in her old age."
The new stable master didn't look surprised. He knew. Anne suspected he'd known all along. But how could he? He couldn't have seen her last night. She couldn't see him in the darkness.
"Never mind then," he said. "I assumed the lady might take her maid to ride along with her and I meant to question the woman regarding which horse she would use, but if the woman is old…"
"You will ride with my niece," her uncle instructed. "At least until I can decide upon a suitable groom. Her old groom is no longer with us. Ride with Lady Anne, but a proper distance behind her, of course."
"Of course," he said, and Anne detected a hint of sarcasm behind his cool expression. He was of the serving class. But he did not like it. Not one bit.
"Is that all, my lord?" he asked her uncle.
"You are dismissed," Uncle Theodore answered, returning to his breakfast. "Don't forget my instructions regarding the gray filly."
The stable master turned to leave. Anne was curious about all that went on in the stable. The gray filly was a particular favorite of hers, although the horse belonged to her uncle. "What about the gray filly?"
Merrick, as he would have her call him, hesitated, glancing toward her uncle. " 'Tis none of her affair," he said to the man. "Go on now about your business, or rather my business," her uncle added with a chuckle.
Uncle Theodore's good humor failed to make Merrick smile, and Anne found herself wondering what he might look like if he did. Would it soften the hard lines of his face? Merrick left the room and she stared after him until she felt her aunt's regard. Anne blushed and quickly turned her attention back to breakfast.
"He's very handsome, your new stable master, dear," Aunt Claire commented. "I am not certain he was a wise choice when we still have a young, beautiful woman beneath our roof. Rather like putting a fox in charge of the henhouse."
It bothered Anne somewhat that her aunt had referred to Blackthorn Manor as belonging to Anne's guardians. The house had belonged to Anne's mother and Blackthorn Manor, along with a large inheritance from her mother's lineage, would become Anne's when she turned twenty-one. Still, she said nothing. Anne felt certain it was an oversight.
Uncle Theodore had inherited Anne's father's title, but her father had been a "naked" earl, in that he had no property that went with his earldom. It had been Anne's mother who had married beneath her. A love match. Because she had no brothers or male relatives left living on her mother's side, Anne's son, if she had one, would someday become a Marquess.
Uncle Theodore waved a hand. "As long as the hens mind themselves, so will the fox." He glanced up, sharing a peculiar look with his wife that Anne had trouble reading. A warning?
Uncomfortable silence settled over the table. Anne was still curious about the filly and thought her uncle might be more talkative now that the stable master had left. "What are your plans for the filly?" she ventured again.
"Unsuitable conversation for a young lady," he said, frowning at her. "It is not your concern, Niece."
"Yes, Uncle," Anne replied dutifully, although his refusal to discuss the matter only made her more curious. Maybe she'd been too hasty in her decision to stay indoors this morning. The stable master knew what plans her uncle had for the gray filly. If she asked, he'd have to tell her, wouldn't he?
"May I be excused?" she asked. "Perhaps a short rest this morning will see me feeling more myself."
"Yes, by all means go and lie down for a while," her aunt said, patting Anne's hand absently, a required response rather than a heartfelt one. She tried not to be resentful. Her aunt and uncle had become her guardians when her parents had contacted a fever abroad and both died, leaving her orphaned at the age of ten. But she'd never felt truly loved again, not as her parents had loved her. Her aunt and uncle had been staying with her at Blackthorn Manor when the news of Anne's parents' deaths reached them. They had simply never left.
Her father and uncle were brothers. There was no one else to take Anne in, and perhaps had there been, she would at least have the knowledge that her aunt and uncle chose to raise her because they wanted to, not because they had to. Anne excused herself, rose from the table, and went upstairs. Old Bertha had nodded off in a chair and snored softly. Anne's riding habit had been laid out. She couldn't avoid the new stable master forever. Besides, she wanted to ask him about the filly and her uncle's plans for the horse.
Merrick smelled Lady Anne's sweet scent before he saw her. He had a gift for scent and for sight. He always had, but he obviously couldn't read a lady's mind, because her sudden appearance surprised him. He stood before the gray filly's stall, thinking his new employer was an ignorant man who didn't deserve the fine horses he owned. He turned and saw Lady Anne at the stable entrance. She was dressed for riding.
"Change your mind?"
It was a question that might hold two meanings, and by her slight blush he knew she was quick-witted.
"Yes, I have decided I shall ride this morning," she stated, stepping into the stable's dim interior. "Will you saddle my horse?"
"That's what I'm here for." He moved away from the gray's stall. "To see to your needs."
Her blush deepened. "There is no call for this to become awkward. You made a mistake last night and we shall both forget it today and move forward."
Merrick paused before the bay's stall. He lifted a brow. "I made a mistake? I wouldn't have had you had you not lied to me."
But that in itself was a lie. Had Merrick known she was the niece of his employer last night, it still wouldn't have stopped him. She was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. Merrick had never reacted so strongly to a female before, be she a serving maid or a highborn lady. He found Lady Anne Baldwin irresistible.
Her hair was the color of rich maple syrup and when down, as she'd worn it last night, cascaded in waves to her slim waist. Her eyes were a warm shade of brown. Her lashes were dark and thick, and her skin was as pale as cream. Some might consider her mouth too generous, but Merrick liked her full, lush lips. Her figure was every man's dream. The lady wasn't for the likes of him, but that didn't stop Merrick from wanting her.
"It was wrong of me to lie," she admitted, biting her fuller lower lip. "I feared you'd tell my aunt and uncle what I was doing and I knew they would not be pleased. I thought they might ban me from the stable and riding."
Judging by what he knew of her aunt and uncle, Merrick imagined they would not be pleased to know of her actions last night, certainly not his. "Then it can remain our little secret." He bridled the mare, opened the stall, and led the bay out. He glanced at Lady Anne, noting that her chin rose a notch.
"I would think that would be more to your advantage than to mine."
Merrick quelled the desire to roll his eyes and stopped before her. "I'm not so ignorant that I don't know that. There's no need to threaten me, lass."
Anne hadn't meant to. She'd always prided herself on being kind to others, even to those of a lower station—even to those considered outcasts among society. Why now was she putting this man in his place? Why did she feel threatened by him? Her gaze roamed him and she knew the answer. He was dangerous. Being bad wasn't so difficult, after all. One just needed the right incentive. The right incentive stood before her now, tall and handsome as sin, staring down at her with his rebellious blue eyes.
"I'm not like them," she insisted. "I am not a snob."
His gaze ran the length of her and back again. "Yes, you are," he said. "You just don't know it yet."
She watched him lead Storm to the tack room and tether her. Anne was trying to think of something to say when he moved past her, walked to the end of the stable, and led a leggy black stallion from his stall. She'd never seen the horse before, and in an instant she forgot her crossness with the new stable master.
"He's beautiful," she breathed. Anne loved horses and considered herself a fine judge of horseflesh. The stallion was built for speed. His head was small, his neck thick, and his long flowing mane and tail were well tended.
"He is a fine horse," Merrick agreed, stopping before her so that Anne could reach out and stroke the horse's silky coat. "But he has no pedigree. Caught him as a wild colt and brought him up myself. Don't know his lines, just as I don't know my own. We're both bastards, I guess."
Anne lifted a brow. "Does he resent it as much as you do?"
His blue eyes widened in surprise for a moment, as if he hadn't expected her to be intuitive. Then he shrugged. "No," he answered. "But he's too dumb to know the difference. I guess he's blessed that way."
Realizing Merrick's parentage was obviously a sore subject, Anne didn't comment further. Instead she watched as he went about the business of saddling Storm and the black. Merrick moved with a grace few men, even those of the gentry, possessed. Black trousers hugged his slim hips and muscled legs to the point of near vulgarity. He wore a white shirt, coarse but clean, open at the neck, so open in fact that she saw a portion of his tan chest and a glimpse of dark chest hair. For some reason, that struck Anne as indecent, as well. Or perhaps it was simply her reaction to him that was improper.
The lack of shine on his knee-high boots reminded her that he was of the working class and had no valet to see to them nightly. His hair had hung loose when he'd intruded upon breakfast in the house, but now he'd secured it with a black ribbon. Doing so only accented the chiseled lines of his face and made his stark blue eyes stand out. She had to admit in that moment she'd never seen a man as handsome as he was.
Just looking at him filled her stomach with butterflies. Her blood raced through her veins and catching a normal breath was difficult. Oh yes, he was dangerous. Anne would have to watch herself around him, which was something she had never had to do before.
"I'll give you a hand up," Merrick said, and she realized she was still staring and the horses were saddled and ready.
Fighting down a blush, she walked around Storm where he waited. The sidesaddle perched upon the mare's back made Anne frown. It was a reminder that her adventure last night had not included her dream of riding astride like a man. Her thoughts scattered with Merrick's hands encircling her waist. They felt warm even through her lightweight riding habit. He lifted her into the saddle as if she weighed nothing. He stared up at her for a moment and their eyes locked. It took a great deal of willpower for Anne to glance away.
Flustered, she steered her horse around the big stallion and out into a rather dreary day. Anne was thankful for the cooler air to revive her. She wished Merrick had not been given the task of escorting her on her rides. She feared no good could come of the two of them spending time together.
Trying to concentrate on the ride and forget her escort, Anne took a familiar path through the fields along the north side of the manor house. The smell of rich dirt and clean air always made her feel better. Anne was a country girl at heart, if she could get on well enough in the city.
"What are my uncle's plans for the filly?" she called over her shoulder, expecting Merrick to be following at a discreet distance as he'd been told to do.
"I recall hearing your uncle say it wasn't your business."
She turned to find Merrick beside her. It didn't surprise her that he hadn't followed her uncle's instructions. Anne suspected Merrick seldom followed anyone's rules but his own.
"As my uncle said, I have a fondness for horses and the stable. The gray filly has excellent lines. He isn't going to sell her, is he?"
Merrick's lips suddenly curled slightly at the corners. "No," he answered. "She's in season. He wants to breed her."
Anne realized why her uncle had refused to discuss the issue with her. Such things were not discussed in the presence of ladies. She was always told to stay away from the stable when the breeding took place. The new stable master seemed to take delight in saying something so shocking in her company. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of making her blush again.
"To which stallion?" she asked. "I hope not Ascot, the large sorrel. He's too big boned. A colt produced by him would likely be too large for the filly to deliver. I'd personally choose Shadow, the charcoal stallion. He's smaller, and the coloring would suit, I'd think."
When Merrick didn't respond, she glanced toward him. His lips were still curled in that disturbing way that drew her gaze to them, but in his eyes shone a glimmer of respect.
"My thoughts exactly," he said. "Your uncle doesn't strike me as the type of man to appreciate my advice, however, so I'll not be giving it."
"It is your right, isn't it?" Anne asked. "To advise him on such matters? I thought that was the reason he hired you to run his stable."
He laughed and she saw the flash of his white teeth again. "He hired me to say he got the best. He likes the best, your uncle. Your aunt, too, I'm thinking."
Now he had overstepped his boundaries. Anne bristled. Her aunt and uncle did always require the best of everything, but that was beside the point.
"That is not a subject you are familiar with and you should refrain from pretending that you are," she scolded. "And aren't you supposed to be riding a proper distance behind me?"
The smile faded from his lips. "When I become familiar with the path, then I will ride discreetly behind you, my lady. If that is your wish," he added, as if the matter might be in question.
"Why wouldn't it be?" Anne asked defensively.
"I never said it was," he countered.
"You hinted at as much," she huffed. "You mustn't assume to know me or what I would or would not prefer simply because you made a mistake last night."
He lifted a dark brow. "Are you saying you didn't make one? Maybe you didn't mind giving me the wrong idea so much."
His easy ability to fluster her had Anne feeling a temper that was usually nonexistent in her. Instead of arguing with him, she turned her attention to the path, kicked her heels into Storm's sides, and took off. Anne let Storm have her head, both of them familiar with the path. Merrick pulled up next to her a moment later.
Storm was fast, but Anne doubted that she could outrun the black. The stallion was bigger and stronger. Anne, however, sat lighter in the saddle. She was feeling a rebellious streak again and urged Storm into a faster gait. Ahead the path narrowed, leaving the open fields and winding through wooded ground.
Anne supposed it wasn't a considerate thing to do, forcing the man to follow her in a dead run across a path he was not familiar with, but she suspected she could leave him behind easily enough. He should be put in his place… although she was never one to really think of "places" and "putting people in them" before.
Maybe she only wanted to show off. Anne seldom had an opportunity to display her riding skills. The paths in London, Rotten Row and the like, were tame for her talents. A log had fallen across the path ahead and she and the mare took the jump easily. Deeper Anne wound her way along the path into the woods, always aware that the stable master and the stallion were nearly on Storm's rump.
When the path widened, Merrick was suddenly beside her. Ahead, the path narrowed again and she couldn't let him get out in front of her. Then it would be a case of him leading and her following. Anne urged Storm on.
Merrick swore, then loosened the reins to give the stallion more freedom. The animal lunged ahead so swiftly that Anne felt a sinking sensation. Her mare couldn't match the stallion's speed. Just as Anne had wanted to avoid, Merrick pulled ahead when the path narrowed and she was forced to follow instead of lead.
The path widened again and they were in a meadow. He slowed his horse, and when she pulled up beside him Merrick reached across and snatched Anne from the saddle. She was so startled by the move she immediately struggled and almost toppled to the ground. A strong arm settled around her waist and he easily brought the headstrong stallion to a halt. Merrick let Anne slide to the ground and quickly dismounted.
"What do you think you are doing?" she demanded, for the second time in the space of a few hours after being in his company.
He dropped the reins to the stallion's bridle and pulled her a short distance from the excited animal. "I'm doing my job," Merrick shot back. "Making sure you don't break your pretty neck while trying to show me up and put me in my place."
"I am a very accomplished rider," Anne defended. "I thought you would have noticed that."
Merrick stared down at her. For just a moment, his blue eyes softened upon her. "I did notice," he said. "But I won't have you getting hurt my first day on the job because you wanted to impress me."
Since she'd just more or less admitted she was trying to impress him, Anne saw no reason to deny it. "Did I impress you?" she asked instead.
A smile tugged at the corner of his sensuous mouth. "You're a skilled rider," he admitted. "You have lovely form. You might have given me more of a race if not for the sidesaddle. It weighs more."
Anne glanced at her horse, the mare having come to a halt as soon as her rider was no longer at the reins to guide her. "I hate the saddle," Anne admitted, then bravely announced, "I'd like to ride astride, like a man."
She expected her declaration to shock him. Even old Barton had been shocked when she'd announced the same thing at the age of twelve. Merrick simply shrugged. "Then why don't you?"
Of course he wouldn't understand. Anne would enlighten him upon the subject. "It isn't considered proper for a lady to… to ride that way," she informed him. "My aunt and uncle would never allow it."
Merrick glanced about the clearing. "I don't see your aunt and uncle."
Anne came dangerously close to smiling. How simple his life must be compared to hers. She envied him in that moment. Anne had spent the good portion of her life heeding all the rules of society in order to please her aunt and uncle. In order to win their love.
"My old groom, Barton, nearly died of shock when I suggested it at the age of twelve." Recalling Barton brought tears to her eyes. Anne had been very fond of him. "He passed on just last month. I miss him."
Merrick placed his finger beneath her chin and forced her to look up at him. In his eyes was an expression so soft it melted her heart. It took her off guard—reminded her of the power he'd held over her the night before. Anne pulled away and blinked back her tears.
"You must think I'm silly," she said, walking toward Storm to gather the mare's drooping reins.
"I don't know what I think," she heard him say to her back. "And I usually know right away."
Anne decided then and there she must squash her unruly feelings for a man she hardly knew. It would be much better if they were simply friends. She took a deep breath and turned to face Merrick.
"Can we start over?" she asked. "I feel as if we've gotten off on the wrong foot with one another."
For some reason, her suggestion made him smile. Not a genuine one but more of a smirk. "Do you think you can geld me with an offer of friendship? Do you think that will make me forget what you feel like, and smell like, and taste like?"
Heat exploded in her cheeks and shot through her body. Anne had never met a man she couldn't tame with a show of good manners and an offer of friendship. But she sensed that this was a man unlike any she had met before. "I believe you have the wrong impression of me."
He sauntered toward her. "Now that's where you're wrong, lass. I think I might know you better than you know yourself."
When Anne looked up at him, she tried to appear as calm as he usually did in her presence. "What does that mean?"
The softness returned to his eyes and Anne thought that expression alone might be more dangerous than the scent he'd put off last night in the stable.
"You long to be something that you're not. I understand that well enough. You want things you cannot have. I understand that, too. You want to ride your horse astride like a man, at midnight, in nothing but your undergarments. What are you running from, Lady Anne? Or are you running in hopes you'll find whatever is missing in your life?"
The man had no right to ask her such personal questions. He had no right to assume so much about her. And damn him, he had no right to know her better than she knew herself, just as he claimed. This intimacy between them had to stop.
"I wish to return now," she said stiffly. Anne turned to mount her horse. Merrick was at her back in an instant. His hands closed around her waist.
"Not yet," he said. "Not until at least one of us gets something we want."
Anne wheeled to face him, nearly colliding with him, he stood so close. Her eyes made it past the dark hair teasing her from the open collar of his shirt, up across his broad shoulders, the dark whiskers on his chin and cheeks, to his icy eyes, but no, they were not cold. The heat was back in them. His gaze lowered to her lips and they parted as if he'd commanded them to do so. Would he kiss her again? Was that the something he wanted? And did it matter what she wanted? Or did she want the same thing?
He lifted a hand, almost touched her hair, then quickly withdrew it. "You wanted to ride astride like a man, and today you will."
Merrick turned from her and walked to the stallion. He unsaddled the horse in short order while she stood reeling from the onslaught of his nearness, her lips tingling in anticipation of a kiss that had not come.
"You are going to do it this time, aren't you?" he asked while carrying the saddle to her mount and laying it on the ground. "I'd hate to go through this trouble only to see you bolt and run away like you did last night."
A teasing light had entered his eyes, but Anne did not find him amusing. Staying last night had been out of the question. No telling what might have happened had she not regained her senses and fled to the safety of the house. And no telling how often she would wonder exactly what would have transpired between them if she hadn't escaped when she did.
"I will ride astride," she assured him.
He didn't comment but unsaddled Storm, then saddled the mare with the lightweight English saddle he'd used on the stallion. Merrick adjusted the stirrups, then turned to her.
"Up you go."
Anne glanced down at her skirt. "I wish I owned a pair of men's trousers. And tall boots like you are wearing."
He placed a hand against his heart. "I might not survive such a sight. You have lovely legs, lass."
She fought down another blush. Had Merrick seen her legs? And how had he seen anything at all when she hadn't been able to make out so much as his silhouette in the darkness? He couldn't have, she assured herself.
"I'm not sure how to proceed," Anne tried to change the subject. Only she had to bring it back around when she glanced meaningfully at the skirt of her riding habit.
Merrick motioned her closer with a jerk of his head. "Come on, I'll help you up, then you'll have to figure out the rest."
"And you won't say anything to my aunt or uncle about this?" She wanted reassurance.
"You have my word."
For some reason, Anne believed him—felt certain she could count on his word. Why, she had no idea. Maybe the man really had cast a spell over her. She allowed him to give her a leg up. In order to sit the saddle astride, she had to bunch her skirt up around her knees. It left her stocking-clad calves bare to his eyes, but she hoped he wouldn't look. He did.
"Very nice," he said. "Just like I remember."
Ignoring him, Anne urged Storm forward, awkward at first with her position astride the horse. It took Anne only a few paces to become braver and urge the bay into a trot. The sensation was strange, to say the least. Anne decided a gallop might prove less disturbing and soon she was on the path, racing along astride and realizing how cruel it was to make women ride sidesaddle.
She laughed out loud with the sheer freedom she felt, glanced behind her, and saw Merrick riding bareback behind her. He looked like a barbarian and her heart made a funny lurch inside of her chest.
"So what do you think?" Merrick called, quickly catching up to her.
"It's wonderful," she called back. "It's the way a horse was meant to be ridden. I shall never want to ride sidesaddle again."
"And what about riding in your underwear, bareback, at midnight across the moors? Are you still brave enough to do that?"
Anne slowed her mount. Was Merrick teasing her? "Not with an escort," she assured him.
He smiled in answer. Just at breakfast Anne had wondered what it would be like to see him smile. She decided she was better off not knowing. He had a smile that could melt winter.
"Would you do it if you had a pair of men's trousers and boots?"
She cocked a brow. "And where would I get those?"
He shrugged. "I could get them for you. The lad who sweeps out the stalls, Brennan, he's not much bigger than you."
What Merrick said was true. The stable boy was only ten but tall for his age. And Anne supposed his feet were still small. Did she dare? She had wanted to dare last night. But last night had proven a mistake, and she had a feeling meeting the new stable master in the dead of night for a midnight ride again would be another one.
"May I go alone?"
He shook his dark head. "I cannot allow that. You can go if you let me go with you, to watch after you."
His suggestion annoyed her. If her aunt and uncle were not particularly affectionate people toward her, they had made certain Anne had been well chaperoned all of her life. She wanted the freedom of riding alone.
"I don't need looking after," she said. "I'm a grown woman and, as you said yourself, a skilled rider."
Merrick leaned forward in the saddle and scratched his chin. "Have you ridden bareback before, then?"
Anne frowned. "Well, no, but—"
"When I feel you know what you are doing, then you can go alone and I'll keep your secrets."
Anne wasn't a mistrustful person by nature. But she wasn't as innocent as she'd been just the day before. "Why would you do that?" she asked.
He glanced at her and winked. "To see you in the trousers of course."
She had no idea if he was teasing her. Considering what had happened between them the night before, she thought she should ask, "You won't try anything like you did last night, will you?"
Merrick shrugged. "Probably. It's in my nature to ravish any young woman who stumbles across my path in the night." His expression was perfectly serious.
"Then I must decline."
The serious expression he wore disappeared and he surprised her by laughing out loud. Anne didn't care to be laughed at.
"What is so funny?" she asked stiffly.
He pulled up and stopped his horse. Anne did likewise. "Last night I didn't know who you were. Today I do. That changes everything, lass."
Anne ignored the slight sting she felt to her ego. "You said you would not forget," she reminded him.
Heat flared to life in his eyes as he stared at her. "Oh, to be sure, I won't. But a maid looking for sport with her lover, and a lady only wanting a midnight ride on her horse are two different things. You're safe with me… I think."
It was his afterthought that made Anne nervous. But that trepidation was easily outweighed by a chance to do something she'd wanted to do for a long time. It was a chance that might never come her way again.
"All right," she said. "Meet me at midnight in the stable. Have the clothes with you."
Merrick had to wonder if he'd taken leave of his senses. Making offers, keeping secrets, getting too close to a woman he had no right to get close to. Lady Anne was a proper lady. He was a bastard, a stable master who made a good enough wage to support a common lass, but not a grand lady like his employer's niece. Not that Merrick was thinking of wedding the tempting Lady Anne, but he was damn sure thinking of bedding her.
He had the clothes, paid for with a coin to the lad and a promise from the boy that he'd not ask why the new stable master needed them. He had the horses saddled and ready. He had everything but a brain in his head. He almost hoped she wouldn't come. It would be better for the both of them if she regained her senses and decided he wasn't a man to trust with either her secrets or her virtue. She'd probably be right in thinking that, although he'd always tried to be a man of his word before.
There was little in life Merrick had besides his word and his skill with horses. He recalled giving his word to another woman. His mother on her deathbed. She'd told him not to go looking for his past. She'd told him to be content with what he'd been given in life. Not to dream of things beyond his reach. And Merrick had promised.
Now he was sniffing around a woman's skirts he should not be sniffing around. Merrick and Lady Anne were as different as night and day. Merrick was, in fact, different from any man he knew. He had strange abilities that his mother hadn't even known about. He had his secrets even if he chose not to acknowledge his differences most of the time. He did not understand his "gifts" or why they had been given to him. He wasn't sure they were gifts. Perhaps they were instead a curse.
Although his mind told him it would be better if Lady Anne did not appear tonight in the stable, Merrick watched the door for her. He willed her to him, and by doing so he went back on his word to his mother. He wanted all he promised her he would not want. Deep inside, he resented that his blood was somewhat blue but still ran red like that of the common man he was.
His mother, God rest her soul, had taken his father's name to the grave with her. Whoever the man had been, Merrick resented the hell out of him. How could a man treat a child like a dirty secret? Like a mistake, easily ignored and then forgotten? While the man was alive, he'd made certain that Merrick and his mother were provided for, but after his death, it was as if he'd wanted to bury his secrets along with him. Merrick, only a young man at the time, and his mother were suddenly forced to work at whatever jobs they could find in order to support themselves. He supposed that made them no different from most, but he had wondered if while he and his mother scraped and starved, somewhere the man's legitimate children were living in the lap of luxury.
The horses had always come naturally to Merrick. He knew a good bloodline when he saw one. He knew what mare to breed to which stallion in order to produce a better horse. He knew how to care for the animals, how to clean up after them, how to ride them. He'd made a name for himself in his profession, if it wasn't the grandest profession a man might strive for, and if his name was only his first name. Still, he'd learned to be content… until last night.
He caught Lady Anne's scent before she reached the stable. Why did she have to smell like that, like a gumdrop, all soft and sugary and melting on the tongue? Why did she have to feel like fine silk beneath his calloused hands? Why did she have to taste like heady wine, warm and wet and intoxicating? Why did she have to trust his word when already his body stirred to life with want for her and he was thinking of going back on it?
"Merrick," she whispered in the darkness, and even the sound of his name on her lips nearly caused him to groan.
"Here," he said, then had to clear the huskiness from his throat.
"Do you have the clothes?"
"In the tack room," he answered. "I've draped them across your sidesaddle. The boots are there on the ground next to them."
"You will stay out here while I change?"
She was still wary of him. Which proved she was smart as well as pretty. "Unless you need my assistance," he answered.
"I won't," she assured him.
"Hurry up, then. We don't have all night."
His abnormal hearing tortured him with sounds of her undressing a moment later. The brush of cloth against skin. The pictures forming in his head. He wanted to see her in the moonlight. See her beautiful face light up with laughter as it did when she rode astride earlier. Why had such a woman not already been claimed? Were the men of her station all daft? She was everything he would want in a woman and nothing he could have.
"I'm ready."
Lost in his thoughts, Merrick hadn't been listening for her approach. He saw her outline in the darkness. If he wanted to, if he looked long and hard enough, he could make out her features clearly, but they needed to get away from the stable.
"I'll give you a hand up. We'll unsaddle the mare once we're away from the house, and I'll teach you to ride bareback."
She brought her sweet scent and her soft woman's curves around the horses to stand next to him. When his hands encircled her small waist, he wanted to teach her far more than just to ride bareback. Her lips were innocent last night. Lush and ripe and he thought she might have never been kissed before. At least not properly.
He lifted her easily and she scrambled into the saddle. Merrick walked around her and mounted the black. Like thieves, they rode quietly from the stable, only daring to pick up their pace once they'd gone a distance from the house.
Finding the meadow again, Merrick drew the black to a halt, dismounted, and went around to assist Lady Anne. She came into his arms perhaps more easily than was wise, then stood before him, staring up. The moonlight bathed her lovely features in soft white light. Her eyes sparkled and her hair hung down her back almost to her hips. He ached inside just looking at her. Ached as he had never ached before. Wanted as he had never wanted before.
"You're so beautiful," he said, staring down at her. "You turn a man's mind to mush and make him forget his promises."
The smile hovering about her lush lips faded. She met his stare and he thought he saw the same hunger he felt staring back at him from her warm brown eyes. Then she shook her head as if to clear it. "You gave me your word. Was I a fool to trust you?"
So it would seem. Merrick had never been subtle about his wants and desires. "I want to kiss you again."
Even in the darkness, he saw color creep into her cheeks. "Then I should demand that you take me back to the stable and end this fool's errand."
He agreed, but his desire to know her more intimately kept him from saying so or doing what he knew would be best.
"Why do you think doing something you dream of is foolish, Anne?"
Anne had expected him to either try to kiss her or take her back to the stable. She was surprised that instead of doing either, he'd asked her a question and seemed genuinely interested in her answer. She wasn't used to anyone really caring about her feelings. She wasn't used to anyone really caring about her. Oh, she liked to fool herself into believing her aunt and uncle simply had trouble displaying affection, but she knew that was not the case. And she somehow blamed herself for being unlovable.
"What difference does it make if I learn to ride bareback, or if I ride astride?" she said with a shrug. "Neither are subjects I can discuss with anyone. Neither are skills I can show to anyone. And neither are certainly accomplishments my aunt and uncle would be proud of."
His warm hands closed around her shoulders. "Have you never done anything just for yourself? Just because it pleases you, and to hell with everyone else?"
Nothing except her riding, and ladies were certainly known to enjoy a good jaunt, if few might admit they had an interest in all that Anne was interested in. Breeding, racing, all things related to horses. There were men who loved such things, as well, but so far, she hadn't met one who she thought would understand her own love of them.
"It would be different if I were a man," she explained. "Because I am a woman, I must be pleasing. I must be kind and considerate to others. I must want what all young women of my station want. To dream of doing or being something other than what is expected is foolish."
He pulled her closer. "It is never foolish to have dreams of your own. For some of us, that's all we can have. And why do you seem resentful of your life when it seems to me that you have everything?"
"Not everything," she argued, then realized she was revealing too much about herself to him. How pathetic she would sound if she told him she did not have the one thing she wanted most in life. To be loved. Just for herself. "But I sound shallow and unappreciative," she added, lowering her gaze. "You must understand that all that is really expected of me is to make a good match. To be pleasing so that a man will want to marry me. It's a woman's place to make her husband's life comfortable. To bear his children and run his home. At least it is that way for women of my station." Oddly enough, Anne's guardians had not pushed her to marry, had not seemed concerned over her lack of suitors even though Anne was nearly twenty-one.
Merrick suddenly released her and turned his back. "I see what you're saying. I suppose women of my class can only aspire to bear a man of your class's bastards and hope he doesn't die and leave them and the children to scavenge for themselves."
Anne realized she had been insensitive. She must sound like a total ninny to him, whining about her privileged life. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "Is that what happened to your mother?"
He turned back to her. "We didn't come here to talk about me. I thought we came so you could dare to do what you've been wanting to do. If you don't have the spine for it, let's go on back. Some of us cannot sleep the day away when we've stayed out too late the night before."
She had wounded him. She had stirred resentment in him. Anne hadn't meant to do either. But he was right. She'd been given this one opportunity to do something just for herself. Merrick had given her the opportunity, and however wrong it was, she couldn't help but come close to loving him for it.
"All right," she said. "Enough talk about matters neither of us can control. Tell me what to do."
Merrick stared at her a moment longer and Anne was afraid he'd changed his mind. Then he sighed and moved past her to unsaddle Storm. Once he'd laid the saddle and blanket upon the ground, he swung up easily onto the mare's back.
"Watch me first," he said. "You have to hold on with your legs. Press them good and tight against the horse's sides. Like so."
Anne watched as he took the horse around in a circle. He walked the mare first, then nudged her into a trot, and then a gallop. Watching him made Anne feel odd again. All achy and feverish, as if she'd come down with an illness. Regardless of his bloodline, Merrick, with no last name, was quite something to look at. Again, Anne couldn't help but feel as if she had seen him somewhere before. Perhaps in her dreams.
Storm was known to be headstrong at times, but Merrick commanded her far better than Anne ever had, and the horse seemed to sense he was a man who would brook no nonsense from her. Anne wondered if he handled all females the same way.
"Are you ready to try now?"
"Yes," Anne answered. "But I believe you make it look much simpler than it is."
He drew the mare to a halt beside Anne, threw one leg over, and easily slid to the ground. "You'll do fine," he assured her. "You'll do fine because it's something you want to do. Maybe something you have to do."
Suppression and being a female born in a man's world went hand in hand together. Anne was used to suppressing her wants, her desires, her dreams, even her thoughts. She'd never met a man who encouraged a woman to be daring. It was a refreshing change for her.
"I'll help you up, since you have no stirrups," he said, and bent, folding his hands into a makeshift step.
Anne placed her hand upon his shoulder, feeling the sinewy muscles beneath his shirt. She put a booted foot in his hands and he hefted her easily up onto the horse's bare back.
"Remember to grip her with your legs," he instructed, and Anne tried not to blush in the moonlight.
Legs and gripping anything with them would be considered vulgar for a man to discuss in the presence of a lady. Recalling she wore men's clothing, Anne decided tonight that neither was she a lady nor was Merrick a gentleman. She nodded and took the reins draped across Storm's neck.
Anne started out slowly, getting used to the feel of the horse beneath her without a saddle. She walked Storm in a circle a few times before she felt confident enough to nudge her into a trot. The uneven gait nearly unseated Anne and she urged the mare into a smoother gallop.
"You're a fast learner," Merrick called. "You're doing fine."
Concentrating on keeping her seat, Anne called, "Can we go to the moors? Ride across them bareback in the moonlight as I dreamed I would do?" She glanced at him.
He shook his head. "Not tonight, lass. You need more practice before you dare that."
Who knew if Anne would have the courage to sneak from the house again and slip away with the new stable master? She could come to her senses at any time. Revert to her old ways of being good and chaste and totally boring. Her aunt could suddenly decide the country was too uneventful for her and demand they all pack up and leave for London. Tonight might be the only chance Anne had to realize her dream.
"I'm going," she decided. "Stay behind if you want. In fact, go back to the stable, so if I'm discovered or something happens to me, you won't be held accountable."
Having issued her orders, Anne turned Storm toward the path that would eventually lead her to the moors.
"Come back here, Anne," Merrick ordered. "I said you weren't ready yet."
Anne nearly obeyed simply out of habit. The need to rebel had taken root inside of her now and she wasn't sure she wanted to staunch it. Who was he to command her anyway? Merrick wouldn't tell on her, since he'd been a party to helping her tonight. Not unless he wanted to lose his position.
Already knowing him a good deal better than she should, Anne wouldn't put it past him to come after her and drag her from the horse's back. Anne kneed the animal into a gallop. Behind her, she heard Merrick swear rather loudly.
The path was easy to follow due to the bright moonlight shining down from above… at least until Anne was deep in the woods. She heard the pounding of hooves behind her and knew Merrick followed. Anne also knew that he would easily catch her if she stayed to the path. In a split-second decision, she reined Storm off the path.
Because Anne had a good sense of direction, she thought she could make her way easily to the moors. What she didn't anticipate was the difficulty of maneuvering a horse through the thicker forage or the log in her path she saw too late. Jumping on horseback was a good deal more difficult when the horse wore no saddle. Anne lost her balance and fell.
The fall jarred her to the teeth. The breath had been knocked from her and once she could breathe again, she sat up, trying to determine whether she'd been hurt. She moved her legs back and forth, her arms; nothing was broken. As Storm had been taught, the mare had come to a halt with no one guiding her by the reins. Anne slowly rose from the ground, her bottom still stinging as she moved toward the mare.
Suddenly Storm's head came up. The mare snorted, then her eyes rolled back in her head, and she shied, taking off through the woods as though the hounds of hell chased her. Anne wanted to cry. She should have listened to Merrick. He had been right. She wasn't ready to attempt what she had. Now she was afoot, lost in the woods, and alone. Or was she?
The hairs on the back of her neck prickled. She had a feeling she was being watched. What had frightened Storm? The horse didn't usually shy easily. Glancing around, Anne noticed how much darker it was at night when the trees overhead blocked out the moonlight. She had trouble distinguishing shapes. She also had trouble telling direction. Where was the path? If she moved in that direction, surely she'd come across Merrick in search of her.
She took a step, but movement from the corner of her eye had her wheeling to the right. Anne squinted into the shadows. Another shape joined the first. And then another. Wolves. Her blood turned to ice. So, the legend was true. There still were wolves roaming parts of England.
Anne dared not take her eyes off the still shadows, wondering how much longer they would remain still. She needed a weapon. Glancing down, she tried to make out the shape of a branch, a rock, anything she might use in her defense. A shadow had moved closer when she glanced back up. Anne swallowed hard.
"Don't move."
The instruction was no more than a whisper; then she felt Merrick's heat at her back. Her knees nearly buckled with relief. A shadow crept closer. Eyes glittered in the darkness. Her heart rose in her throat. Merrick stepped in front of her, blocking out the danger, protecting her from her own foolishness, perhaps with his life.
The shadows continued to move in until they were surrounded. Frightened, Anne slid her arms around Merrick's waist and pressed her face against his back. His heart thudded beneath her ear, strong, steady, but not racing wildly the way hers did at the moment. Silence echoed around her; then very soft, very low, she heard a growl. It resounded not from the beasts of the night but from the man who stood before her against them.
Gooseflesh rose on her arms. Anne didn't know whether to release her grip around Merrick's waist and run or hold tighter to him. She closed her eyes and prayed. How long she stood clinging to him, she did not know. It seemed like an eternity.
"It's all right now, lass. They've gone."
Anne opened her eyes, although the darkness that surrounded them was much like having them closed had been. She didn't see anything in the shadows, but that didn't mean there was nothing there.
"Are you certain?" she whispered. "How do you know?"
"Because I know," he answered, turning to face her. "They've gone and taken their scents with them. They were only curious to begin with. Curious to know what kind of fool walks alone in the woods at night."
A touch of embarrassment mingled with her fear. He was right; she was a fool. Anne might have considered herself boring the day before, but she hadn't considered herself foolish until tonight.
"I'm sorry. You were right," she admitted. "I shouldn't have gone off on my own. It was foolish and dangerous."
He didn't respond, and when she glanced up at him, Anne gasped. His shadow stood tall and dark against the night, but his eyes glittered like those of the beasts of the forest.
"Your eyes," she whispered. "They glow in the dark like the eyes of an animal."
He glanced away from her, as if to shield her from the sight. Anne recalled the low growl he'd issued while she had clung to him in fear. And his scent, the one she smelled on him now. The one that overpowered fear and confusion and attracted her to him even when common sense said she should run away. There was something very strange about Merrick. But perhaps it was only hysteria that made her think so.
"Merrick?" she whispered. "Who are you? I mean, really?"
It was a question Merrick had asked himself many times in the past. Who or what? He knew he was different from other men. He did not understand why. He'd been able to read the wolves' thoughts or, rather, sense what they were feeling. He had warned them off and they had gone, no doubt as frightened of the strange human as humans would be if they knew the whole truth about him.
"I'm just a man like any other," he lied. "I simply have some rather odd abilities."
One of those abilities allowed him to see her expression in the darkness. For a moment she had been frightened of him; now her brow wrinkled and natural curiosity took over.
"What sort of abilities?"
The path Merrick walked was a dangerous one. He shouldn't have told her as much as he had. And yet he wanted to tell her. Why would he? It was bad enough that so much already stood between them. Their stations in life. Why would he want to broaden the gap? Maybe to put distance between them. Maybe to simply see her reaction.
"I can see in the dark," he answered. "I see your face. Last night in the stable, I saw you as clearly as if it were daylight, standing in your underwear, rolling your stockings down your shapely legs. Your chemise had a red silk rose sewed to the front of it."
Her eyes widened. She took an unconscious step back from him, and Merrick tried to ignore how much that affected him. "How could you know that?" she asked. "How could you see that clearly in the darkness? It is impossible."
He wished it were impossible. Merrick felt her withdrawing from him. Even if her mind told her it was impossible, her conscience had begun to fear him. It was what he'd wanted, to put distance between them. But it didn't feel like what he wanted at all. No, if he was honest with himself, he'd admit he wanted her back in his arms. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to do more than kiss her.
Perhaps it was an unconscious act on his part, but he knew by the slight flare of her nostrils, the way her eyes suddenly became heavy lidded, that he put off the scent. The one that attracted women to him. Merrick knew that wasn't right. He knew, but whatever instinct inside of him wanted to seduce Lady Anne Baldwin took over. He wanted her to desire him as much as he desired her. He wanted to forget about his strange gifts and the gap that separated him and Anne. He wanted her to forget, too.
Slowly, he leaned down and captured her parted lips. They were as sweet as he remembered and more responsive than they'd been in the stable. He was no longer a stranger to her, which seemed to be working to his advantage. She moaned softly when he traced her full lower lip with his tongue. She opened wider to him and he slanted his mouth against hers, exploring her, tasting her, seducing her.
Anne pressed against him and he pulled her closer, molding her soft curves against him. He cupped her breast, his blood heating in his veins when she did not pull away. She gasped softly when he brushed her nipple with his thumb through the fabric of her shirt. He wanted her naked. He wanted to touch her skin.
Merrick backed her against the trunk of a thick tree. He kissed her neck, worked the laces at the front of her shirt loose until the material gaped open and he could slide his hand inside. Conscience whispered that this wasn't the same as the night in the stable. He knew who she was now. He knew she was innocent. Still, he could not stop himself.
Anne knew she should stop him. Her mind was fogged with passion. Passion she had never felt before. What was it about this man that she could not resist? Maybe a combination of everything about him. His mouth moving against hers, his hand against her breast, excited her beyond common sense. She could even ignore the rough bark of the tree pressed against her back if only he kept kissing her… touching her.
His mouth moved to her neck, biting her skin gently before he moved lower, pushing her shirt aside. The feel of his moist mouth against her nipple, even through her chemise, sent a jolt through her. Anne twisted her fingers in his long hair and tried to remember to breathe.
"Do you know how beautiful you are?" he whispered against her skin. "How perfect in every way?"
Anne had never felt beautiful before. Certainly men had told her she was, but none had made her feel beautiful. On a deep level Anne knew that she craved Merrick's touch so much because she had been denied affection growing up. He gave her what she had been denied, and in turn, she wanted to deny him nothing. But as right as it felt, Anne knew that what was happening between them was wrong.
Resisting him became more difficult when he took her nipple into his mouth and sucked gently. Her nails dug into his scalp. Her knees nearly buckled. The place between her legs grew moist. She ached there, ached as if her body needed something her mind could not comprehend.
Anne sank deeper into the fog of her desire. His warm mouth traveled up her neck again; then he was kissing her. When he thrust his tongue into her mouth, Anne responded likewise. That's when she felt his teeth. They were longer than she knew them to be… almost like fangs.
She opened her eyes and thought he looked different. His facial features were somewhat blurred. She tried to struggle, but he pinned her securely against the tree. With his body pressed against hers, she felt his arousal for her. Then she couldn't swear to it, but she thought he growled.
"Merrick," she whispered. "You're frightening me."
His mouth was on her neck again. She felt the sharp sting of his teeth before he suddenly wrenched himself away from her. He turned his back; then he disappeared into the forest. Anne blinked into the darkness. Her heart pounded inside of her chest. He'd left her alone.
A wolf howled in the distance and Anne sucked in a breath. She fumbled with the gaping edges of her shirt and pulled the garment closed around her neck. Slowly, she slid to the ground. Where was Merrick? And why had he left her alone in the darkness?
When a twig snapped, she jumped. A tall shape broke from the shadows. Merrick was now standing before her, staring down. "Come, Anne," he said. "Let me lead you to Sin."
"Sin?" she whispered.
"The stallion. I'll take you home."
For the briefest moment she thought she couldn't trust him. Her eyes had adjusted enough to the darkness to see that he held his hand extended toward her. What had happened a moment ago? Had she imagined that he had looked and seemed different? She had been frightened earlier. Perhaps her fear had only carried over.
"Anne, take my hand," Merrick coaxed softly.
She slid her hand into his larger one. They were the hands of a workingman, but they had felt like silk against her skin a moment earlier. He pulled her to her feet. Anne swayed slightly. She felt dazed, out of sorts.
"What is happening to me?" she asked. "Why do I respond to you as I do, and what do you want from me, Merrick?"
He didn't say anything for a moment. Perhaps he didn't know the answer. Then he said, "For right now, I want to take you home. I want you to be safe."
Safe from the wolves or safe from him? Anne wondered. She should go home. She should go home and slip back into the safe, boring life she had known before she had kissed him in her stable. A stranger. A man who worked for her uncle. But a man who made her feel as she had never felt before. A man who was not afraid to show her affection. A man who said she was beautiful.
Merrick pulled her along behind him through the woods. The path was actually not that far and they stumbled upon it, startling the black stallion that had stood waiting for their return. Merrick spoke softly to the animal and he gentled. Merrick climbed up into the saddle and pulled Anne up in front of him.
"What about Storm?" Anne roused herself from her dazed state to ask. "And the saddle and blanket we left behind?"
"I imagine Storm has headed back to the stable. If she's not there when we return, I'll go back out and find her. I'll fetch the saddle, too."
He would cover for Anne. Erase her mistakes tonight. He had possibly saved her life earlier. Merrick with his odd abilities and his scent that still affected her. He could have taken advantage of her in the woods. Anne was fairly certain she would have allowed him to seduce her fully. Why hadn't he? And had she only imagined that his features had blurred for a moment, had seemed misshapen, his teeth like fangs?
Of course she had. The wolves had given her a fright and she had been still reacting to that. The feel of his hard chest pressed against her back affected her now. His strong thighs molded on either side of her. Anne needed a distraction. He walked the horse, she assumed for her benefit, but the slow pace only prolonged the torture of being pressed against him.
"Why do you call your horse Sin?" she asked.
"Because he's as dark as sin."
The silence between them stretched again. Merrick's heat penetrated the back of her riding gown and she wondered what it would feel like to have his bare flesh pressed against hers.
"He seems fast, your horse," she blurted.
"Yes," he responded, and his breath brushed her ear, causing her to shiver. "Fast as any I've seen."
"Do you race him? I would, if he were mine, that is, and of course if I were a man."
"I race him," he responded. "Mostly at small country fairs, and only if the purse is fat. The horse loves to run. He likes the competition."
The horse didn't seem in the least bit anxious to hurry them back to the stable at the moment. Anne wasn't even certain they were headed in the right direction now that she thought about it.
"Merrick, do you know where you're going?" she asked. "I don't think this is the path back to the house."
"I know where I'm going," he assured her.
A few moments later they left the shelter of the trees behind them. Merrick pulled the stallion up and Anne gasped. Ahead of them, the ground bladeless and cracked, lay the moors. Moonlight shone down and the ground stretching before them looked strangely beautiful.
"Are you ready, Anne?" Merrick asked close to her ear.
She knew now why he had brought her here. Her heart soared that he would, that he knew how important it was to her—to live this one dream.
"I'm ready," she whispered.
"Hold tight."
He kneed the stallion and they shot forward into the moonlight.
It wasn't exactly Anne's dream of being in her underwear, alone, and riding bareback, but it was better. Better because she had Merrick to share the moment with. He laughed along with her, and she knew that he shared her joy. He understood her as no man had ever understood her before. And he was right. Everyone should have a dream, even a small one like this.
Anne laughed out loud from the sheer joy of racing across the moors in the moonlight, the wind in her hair, Merrick at her back, his arms around her holding her securely in front of him. He was right. She'd never been on a horse as fast as the stallion. Sin's hooves thundered along the cracked ground, throwing clots up in their wake.
"Want to go faster?" he leaned in close to ask.
"Oh yes," she breathed; then they both leaned in together and the stallion shot ahead.
Her blood sang in her veins. Anne closed her eyes and simply lived in the moment—felt the horse powerful and surefooted beneath her, felt the wind dance across her face and a man's strong heartbeat against her back. She never wanted it to end, but of course it had to.
Merrick slowed the stallion. Sin's breath fogged on the air as he snorted a protest. Merrick knew the horse well. The stallion loved to run.
"There's a fair in the shire not far from Blackthorn Manor next week," she told Merrick. "You should race Sin there."
"And will you come to watch us run?"
Anne loved country fairs, if her aunt and uncle found them boring at best. "If my aunt and uncle will bring me," she answered. "They don't usually care for such things. My aunt would rather attend a grand ball in London."
"And what about you, Anne? What do you prefer?"
He'd brought the stallion to a halt. The moonlight bathed the land around them in soft light, again making her marvel that such a harsh landscape could be beautiful.
"I prefer the fair," she answered honestly. "Although my aunt would count it as time spent wastefully. There are no fine gentlemen at the fair for me to attract. There is no agenda there that she would approve of. No marriage mart."
Merrick pulled Anne's now tangled hair over one shoulder. The brush of his fingers against her neck made her shiver. "Why are you not wed already, Anne? Are the gentlemen in London all blind or daft?"
She could only be honest with him. "I am boring."
When he laughed, his warm breath caressed her ear. "You, boring? A woman who sneaks out of the house in the night and strips down to her underthings so she can ride her horse across the moors? A woman who ventures into the woods alone to confront wolves? A woman—"
"I don't usually do those things," Anne interrupted, turning so that she could see him. "I'm having a rebellion. I'm quite certain it will pass."
"Will it?"
His mouth was suddenly only a whisper from hers. Had he brought her out here to finish the seduction? Something wicked inside of her said if so, that might not be a bad thing. The ride had fired her blood. The ride and Merrick wrapped around her. Tonight might be all they had together. Anne knew her rebellion couldn't last. At some point she must regain her senses and return to her boring and predictable life… but perhaps not just yet.
The lady wanted him to kiss her. Merrick was tempted. Tempted nearly beyond his control. But something odder than normal had happened to him tonight. In the woods, while he'd been kissing Anne, touching her, wanting her like he had never wanted a woman before, something had stirred beneath his skin. He'd felt it rising up in him. It had come very close to consuming him… whatever the hell it was.
His lust for her had turned animalistic. His thoughts had become disjointed, as if they were slipping away from him. As if he were transforming into something else. For a moment, he'd actually been afraid that he might hurt Anne. That fear was the one thing that had penetrated his lust for her and caused him to break away, to disappear long enough to pull himself back from the brink of whatever was happening to him.
Now she tempted him to lose control again. In the past, women of Anne's station had come to him, sneaking to the stable where he worked in the dead of night. They had wanted sport with him, and Merrick had used them, he supposed, for whatever revenge against their class he harbored in his heart. But Anne, she was not like those other women. What he felt for her was not the same. And what she made him feel was like nothing he had felt before.
He took pleasure in her joy. Her innocence was like a balm to his jaded soul. What he wanted from her was not a few stolen moments in the night. He very much feared what he did want. It was all he had promised his mother he would forsake.
"If I were a gentleman, I would take you to the fair," he told her, brushing a tangled lock of hair from her beautiful face. "I would drive you in a smart buggy and show you off. I would wear your favor upon my arm as I raced Sin."
She smiled at him in the moonlight and his heart twisted inside of his chest "But I am not a gentleman, Anne. You must not forget that."
Her sweet smile faded. In the moonlight, he saw the blush bloom in her cheeks. "You are more of one than you know," she said softly. "Or you would not be warning me not to lose my head. You would not be reminding me of my place, and of yours."
It was defiantly out of his character. Merrick had never minded taking what was offered, secretly resenting that he was at times treated like a fine stud in the stable and not a man. He had thought Anne was different, but was she? Perhaps she thought of him the same. A diversion from her ordered life. Just a part of her rebellion. Then should he feel any guilt about seducing her? Having his sport with her as she would have hers with him?
Her eyes were large and innocent as she stared into his. Soft as the eyes of a doe. No, he was not wrong about her, even if he wanted to tell himself he was at the moment. "You want more than I can give you, Anne. More than a man like me will ever be able to give you. I'll take you home now."
For a moment, her gaze upon him sparkled, as if her eyes had filled with tears. "Is it so much to want?" she whispered. "To be loved?"
Was that what she wanted from him? Merrick had trouble believing that. More than likely, she was simply confused about what love was. Not that he really knew himself. He had never been in love with a woman before. He certainly knew what it was like to be rejected. He would spare himself that with her.
"I'm sure you are loved, Anne. Your aunt and uncle—"
"Have trouble showing affection toward me," she interrupted. Anne blinked back her tears. "I've done everything I know to do to win their hearts, but I feel as if I have failed. I wonder if the fault lies within me. If there is something about me that is unworthy of love?"
Was that what she thought? How could anyone not love Anne? She was good and sweet and beautiful, and he'd known that about her instinctively. He'd known she was the opposite of him. Maybe that was why he found her irresistible. She was everything he was not. She had everything he did not. But then, perhaps they were more alike than he knew. They both wanted what they could not seemingly have.
"You are not unworthy, Anne," he told her. "Maybe they are unworthy of you." And so was he.
Merrick turned the stallion toward Blackthorn Manor. Anne settled back into the saddle before Merrick. They rode in silence. He savored the feel of her against him. Her sweet scent in his nostrils. A moment in time when nothing separated them, even if tomorrow everything would return to the way it should be. Anne in her grand house. He in the stable. She a lady waiting for all that she deserved in life, all he felt would be hers in time. And he… Well, Merrick wasn't even certain what he was. A man Lady Anne Baldwin should stay far away from. He did know that much.
The fair in Devonshire was a grand sight; Stalls of merchants, horse trading, sheep trading, and even a traveling show performed. Anne weaved her way through the crowd, her pace leisurely so that her beloved Bertha could keep up. Her aunt and uncle strolled ahead, dressed as if they visited a grand ball rather than a country fair. Anne had decided upon a simple day frock, modest bonnet, and one of her oldest shawls. She didn't want to stand out in the crowd.
She had too much pent-up energy to play the part of a grand lady today. Since she and Merrick had snuck away into the darkness she'd stayed away from the stable. She was frightened, Anne admitted. Frightened of her feelings for Merrick. No good could come of them, but knowing that didn't seem to stop her from wanting to be with him.
Merrick was here today. He'd left at daybreak, advising her uncle to bet money on him and his stallion in the race. If it weren't for the prospect of making money on a wager, she doubted her aunt and uncle would have wanted to attend the fair at all.
A woman telling fortunes called to Anne as she strolled past. "Come let me tell your fortune, good lady."
Bemused, Anne paused at the brightly colored tent. The fortune-teller's eyes were heavily made up. She wore a scarf tied around her head and a ring on every finger. Anne reached into her reticule and removed a coin. "This is all I have," she said, which was not entirely the truth, but all she had for such silliness as having her fortune told.
The woman snatched the coin and grabbed her hand. She studied Anne's palm. "You have a long lifeline," she said. "But I see trouble ahead in your future."
Anne supposed most people should expect trouble of some sort or another in their future. She merely smiled at the woman.
"There is a man," the woman said, looking up at Anne from beneath her lashes. The woman glanced down again, then suddenly released her hand. Her eyes widened. Her dark complexion paled. "Beware of the wolf in your stable," she whispered. "Stay away from him or bring his curse down upon you both."
Anne blinked down at the woman. "Beg your pardon?"
"Go now," the woman commanded. "I can do no more than warn you."
Anne felt cheated, to put it mildly. There was no wolf in her stable and she'd expected to be told she would meet a special man and have a bright future. It was the sort of thing a woman wanted to hear. Suddenly Anne wondered if the wolf the woman referred to might in fact be a man whom she should avoid.
"Is this wolf in my stable a man or a beast?" she asked the woman.
The fortune-teller shuddered. "He is both," she answered, then rose and disappeared into the crowd.
Gooseflesh rose on Anne's arms. She pulled her shawl closer around her.
"There you are, Lady Anne," Bertha huffed beside her.
"I had lost you in the crowd for a moment and was sorely worried."
Still unnerved, Anne reached out and squeezed her maid's arm. "I'm fine. I stopped to have my fortune told."
Bertha snorted. "That was a waste of coin. Suppose she told you you'll soon meet a nice young man and have a happy future together. Those types always tell a body what they want to hear."
Bertha's words only further unsettled Anne. So she had thought, as well. A disturbance farther down the stretch of vendors and performers drew her attention. Horses churned up dirt in the air. The horse races were about to begin.
"Come, Lady Anne," Bertha instructed. "Your aunt and uncle will wonder what's become of us. We're to join them to watch the races and have a nice lunch."
Anne's maid never missed a meal, which was obvious by her rounded frame. Bertha hurried Anne down the lane toward the meadow where the horse racing would take place. Anne couldn't help but glance over her shoulder toward where she'd last seen the fortune-teller. The woman stood staring after her. Quickly Anne turned away.
She spied her aunt and uncle resting on a blanket spread on the ground. Millicent, her aunt's personal maid, had come along, hefting things from the buggy for her mistress's comfort. The woman knelt upon the blanket unpacking lunch.
"There you are," Aunt Claire called upon seeing Anne. "Come and sit, Anne. We are famished."
Dutiful as always, Anne hurried toward the blanket and seated herself. "I can't thank you enough again for bringing me today, Uncle Theodore and Aunt Claire. I know you both find these fairs boring, but I am having a wonderful time."
Absently her aunt reached forward and patted Anne's hand. "Wish a social engagement would put the sparkle in your eyes and the blush in your cheeks nice this crude affair. Perhaps you were never meant to live the life of a social wife. 'Tis no wonder a suitable gentleman has not offered for you, Anne. You have odd likes for a well-bred girl. You must have gotten that from your mother's side."
Anne stared down at her clasped hands. "I'm sorry to be such a disappointment to you, dear aunt," she said. "I will try harder to gain the attention of a suitable bachelor when next we visit London."
"Leave the girl alone," her uncle fussed. "We want her to be happy in her match, don't we, lady wife?"
Her aunt patted Anne again. "Of course we do. Take your time, Anne. There is no hurry."
Aunt Claire's attitude was strange indeed. Most mothers were so desperate to find suitable matches for their daughters that nothing else was thought of or discussed from the time the girl became old enough to marry. Since her aunt and uncle displayed little actual affection for her, Anne suspected they'd be all too happy to rid themselves of her. Perhaps it was because she'd been so obedient trying to win their love she was not considered much of a burden.
"I should try harder," she admitted. "I'll be twenty-one soon, practically considered on the shelf."
"We thought we would stay in the country until after your birthday," her uncle piped up. "We thought you would enjoy it more if you could ride your horse and wander about outside like you love doing."
Anne was surprised. Her birthday was a good three months off. She couldn't see her aunt spending that length of time away from her London parties and social friends. Anne had in fact thought her guardians might throw her a birthday ball. It would be an opportunity to attract male suitors for her.
"How kind of you," she said in earnest. "I do prefer the country over the bustle of London, but I know that both of you prefer our time in the city."
"It is your birthday," her aunt said, forgoing the hand patting this time. "We want you to spend it as enjoyably as possible."
A bout of tenderness for her aunt and uncle overcame Anne. She supposed she sometimes judged them unfairly. Simply because they were not free with their affections didn't mean they didn't care about her.
"It would make me very happy to spend my birthday in the country."
"Then it is settled," her aunt said, eyeing the food her maid had set out for them. "Let's dine before the horses stir up even more dust and ruin our meal."
They set about having lunch. Anne found her appetite lacking. She was nervous. Maybe for Merrick and the black. Maybe because of her encounter with the fortune-teller. No one seemed to notice how sparsely Anne ate. Her aunt and uncle were too busy talking about the latest London gossip.
"Two of them married now," Aunt Claire said. "Some say they are being allowed into society because of their affiliation with the dowager. I say it's shameful. I'm happy Anne didn't go all soft in the head over Jackson Wulf like every other woman he flashes those dimples at."
Anne's attention snapped toward her aunt. She spoke of the Wulf brothers. The wild Wulfs of London, as some called them. Suddenly a realization struck Anne as forcefully as a blow. "Wulf," she whispered.
"What, dear?" her aunt questioned.
Grappling with the sudden dawning of who Merrick reminded her of, Anne merely shook her head and didn't answer. Merrick was the spitting image of Jackson Wulf, only he had dark hair instead of light and light eyes instead of dark. No wonder she felt as if she'd seen him before the first morning she met him in the dining room.
How uncanny that they should resemble each other so much, at least in facial features and stature. Her gaze automatically strayed toward the meadow where the horses were being lined up. She couldn't see over the crowd and rose, shading her eyes against the sun.
A few tall men blocked Anne's view. "I can't see," she said to her aunt and uncle. "I'm just going a bit toward the front."
"Bertha, go with her," her aunt instructed. "She'll be gawking and unaware if someone is picking her pocket."
The maid, still involved with her lunch, grumbled, placed her plate aside, and lumbered to her feet. "Getting too old to chase after her," she complained.
Anne didn't wait for Bertha. She hurried into the crowd, now driven to see Merrick. She paid no mind to the people she shoved her way through. Standing now at the front of the crowd, she searched the riders preparing their horses for the race. Merrick was already seated upon his great black stallion. The two of them made a formidable sight. Both dark. Both magnificent.
Her breath caught in her throat as Merrick pranced the stallion around the other riders, obviously with the intention of intimidating them. Merrick's hair was tied back, calling attention to his striking good looks. He wore a white shirt, open at the neck, ruffled and seemingly out of place among the country's simpler folk. He wore tight black breeches and his boots were now polished to a high shine. She'd never seen a more handsome man. Besides the rest of the Wulf brothers.
All were handsome indeed. Jackson was a close friend of hers. They had met abroad just last year. He had since married. A woman some claimed was a witch, but Anne had liked Lady Lucinda the moment she had met her. By God, Merrick did look like Jackson. He looked like him enough to be his brother.
She must tell Merrick about his uncanny resemblance to Jackson Wulf. It might answer some of the questions Merrick had concerning his parentage. But then again, it might simply make trouble for the Wulf brothers, and Lord knew, they had enough of that dogging their heels as it was.
Anne was at an impasse over her sudden suspicions. She valued her friendships with Jackson, had found him funny and charming and none of the things that were often rumored about him. But Merrick might find comfort in at least knowing where he came from, if in fact her suspicions were correct. And how could they not be? Merrick had to be a Wulf; that was all there was to it.
"Beware of the wolf in your stable." The fortune-teller's warning suddenly came back to Anne. Not the wolf but the Wulf. Merrick was admittedly illegitimate, but he was a Wulf nonetheless. She was fairly bursting to tell him she had solved the mystery of who his father had been.
The riders lined up before her. Their horses stomped and pranced in readiness for the race. Behind her, she heard men making wagers. Merrick was a favorite, most betting on the Earl's new man.
She also heard murmurs among the women present. Hushed whispers regarding the stable master's handsome looks and fine form—talk that made her back stiffen.
"I imagine Lady Baldwin spends more time than usual around her husband's horses these days," one woman joked. "Hear she likes her lovers young and virile."
"She'll not be disappointed with that one, then." Another woman laughed. "Suppose the man is used to servicing his employer's women, like any good stud."
The women tittered and Anne moved away from the talk and the ill feeling it brought to her stomach. She'd noticed the way her aunt eyed Merrick that first morning in the dining room. Saw the way her gaze swept over him in an assessing manner. Anne hadn't thought much of it, other than that he was the type of man who drew a woman's notice, young or otherwise. Surely her aunt had not approached him in the stable and dangled herself before him, suggesting she was ripe for adventure herself.
Sudden jealousy ripped through Anne. She had no right to feel the emotion. She had no right to suspect her aunt was anything but taken with his looks, without acting upon her interest. Then Anne recalled her uncle's warning to them about the hens behaving themselves. Had his statement been aimed at his wife, rather than Anne?
"Nonsense," she scolded herself. She had never felt jealousy over a man and didn't like the emotion. It made one think irrationally. Wanting to soothe her sudden worries, she glanced around in search of her aunt and uncle. They had joined the crowd of onlookers for the race. They stood a few feet away, her aunt staring at Merrick as he took the stallion through his paces, while her uncle clearly made wagers on the outcome of the race.
Merrick, as if feeling Aunt Claire's regard, glanced toward the woman, held her brave stare for a moment, then looked away, she supposed in search of younger, prettier sport. His eyes landed upon Anne. She tried to look away, but she couldn't. Funny, she had never felt the flutter in her stomach and the leap of her pulses when Jackson Wulf looked at her. So much alike and yet so different.
A trumpet sounded and Merrick glanced away, his interest now trained upon the race. Anne flushed that he'd managed to hold her gaze and glanced around uneasily. She saw her aunt staring at her, her disapproval obvious by the scowl on her face. Anne refused to feel ashamed, having heard what she just had about her aunt and her taste for younger men. It was obviously all right for her to behave badly but not for Anne. She lifted her chin in a show of defiance, rewarded by her aunt's sudden look of surprise.
A shot was fired and Anne returned her attention to the race. The horses and riders bounded forward and cheers went up from the crowd. How she longed to be part of the race. To be riding at breakneck speed across the meadow, her hair flying behind her, astride and in control of the horse. She became caught up in the activity and shouted along with the crowd when Merrick pulled ahead of the other riders.
It was over almost before it began. Merrick was easily the winner, and most of the crowd pushed forward to offer congratulations. Anne could do no such thing. It wouldn't be proper, but for a moment she longed to be among those gathered around Merrick. She longed to throw herself in his arms and kiss him.
Guilt over her brave thoughts made an appearance. She glanced back at her aunt and uncle, hoping they had not witnessed her enthusiasm for the race. They weren't paying any attention to her but seemed to be involved in a heated argument. She'd wager it had something to do with Merrick. Glancing back at the stable master, she noted that he also seemed focused on her aunt and uncle.
It was absurd, but if Anne didn't know better, Merrick appeared to be listening to their conversation. He couldn't possibly hear whatever they discussed at the distance between them, not to mention the shouts and claps on the back from those gathered around him, but when he glanced at Anne, she read a certain amount of alarm in his usually cocky expression.
A moment later he was distracted by the presenting of the purse for winning the race. Her aunt and uncle were suddenly beside Anne.
"Let's go home now, Anne," her aunt instructed. "I think you've had enough excitement for one day."
The disapproving scowl still shaped her aunt's thin lips. Usually, Anne would have been devastated to bring either her aunt or her uncle the slightest reason to be disappointed with her. Today, it seemed less important. Nevertheless, she fell dutifully in step with them and returned to their carriage.
Merrick would come home, too, although she doubted he'd ride along with them. He seemed to like being on his own. A lone wolf. A Wulf in truth, she remembered. Would she tell him of her suspicions? Would it solve anything or just create more trouble?
It was none of his business, Merrick tried to assure himself for the hundredth time since he'd returned to the manor house. He was a servant, nothing more. It wasn't his place to interfere in Anne's life. Still, the conversation he'd overheard between Lord and Lady Baldwin bothered him. Should he tell Anne what he'd overheard, and would she believe him if he did?
Merrick paced the dark confines of the stable, plagued by indecision. He'd never gotten involved in such matters before. But then, he already was involved, whether he wanted to be or not. Damn his abnormal hearing and everything odd about him. It was a curse at times.
But Anne needed to be warned. He cared about her too much to see her cuckolded. She'd stayed away from the stable now for a week. It was just as well, since he'd been breeding the gray filly and knew Anne's uncle would not have wished her to be a witness to the breeding. Still, it had eaten at Merrick not to see her. It had also made him realize just how enamored of her he was. Which did him little good.
Even though it was late in the evening, Merrick thought it best to speak to Anne immediately. He knew which room upstairs belonged to her. He'd seen her standing at the window gazing out a time or two during the past week. Merrick would throw a rock to get her attention. He nearly ran into her on his way out of the stable.
"Good Lord," she gasped. "You scared me half to death. What are you doing slinking around this time of night?"
She'd given him a start, as well. "What are you doing slinking around this time of night?" he shot back.
"I need to talk to you," she answered. "Privately, so I thought it best to wait until everyone had gone to bed."
Although he was curious as to why Anne had sought him out, his concerns over what he'd heard earlier were uppermost on Merrick's mind. "I need to talk to you, too. I heard something today I thought you should know about."
"Heard something?" Her brow furrowed. "That concerns me?"
They stood at the entrance to the stable, in plain sight if anyone cared to look or was up at this late hour. Merrick took her arm and pulled her inside.
"I overheard your aunt and uncle arguing at the fair."
Anne eyed him oddly. "How could you have heard them? From what I saw, you were never within speaking or hearing distance of my aunt and uncle this afternoon."
He wouldn't go into detail about his abnormal hearing abilities. He'd already told her too much about his strange gifts. "I heard them," he insisted. "And they were arguing about you."
Although she was clearly confused as to how he could have heard a conversation take place between her aunt and uncle, a light of interest flickered within her lovely eyes. "Arguing about me?"
"Yes," he answered. "Your aunt was worried about the two of us. About the way we looked at one another. She said they'd done their best to make certain you didn't find a man to marry who was acceptable and she wouldn't let you make a mistake with one who wasn't."
"What?" Anne shook her head. "That makes no sense. It isn't as if they don't want me to marry, simply that no one suitable has offered for me."
"Anne." Merrick took her shoulders between his hands. "I imagine more have asked than you are aware of. You're lovely. And sweet. They don't want you to marry because if you aren't by the time you turn twenty-one, your inheritance is to fall under their control. They want your fortune, Anne."
She took a step back from him as if he'd delivered a blow. "That is not true. I am to gain my inheritance when I turn twenty-one. It's been understood for some time."
Merrick had to make her understand. "Only if you are married, Anne. I heard them say so. Otherwise, they are to take control of your inheritance until you turn twenty-five, at which time I imagine it will become yours whether you are married or not. I'm betting they'll have it spent by then, or tied up so you can't get it."
She looked stunned. "But it's my inheritance," she insisted. "I never knew there was a stipulation of marriage involved."
Anne didn't want to believe him, Merrick realized. She still clung to the hope that her aunt and uncle cared more for her than their actions showed. "They didn't want you to know. They are heavily indebted. I heard your aunt say so when she argued with your uncle about it, though they kept their voices low. Even the roof over their heads will someday pass to your husband. They stand to lose everything if you marry, Anne."
Doubt still clouded her eyes. It was hard for her to trust a stranger's word over what she wanted to believe about her aunt and uncle. "I have no wish to hurt you, Anne," he said. "If you don't want to believe me, then don't. At least I told you what I heard and my conscience is clear."
His duty done, he thought he'd turn from her and go back to the loft where he slept before he gave into temptation and pulled her into his arms. Merrick remembered she'd come to tell him something. "What was it you wanted to tell me?"
Still wearing a dazed expression, she chewed her full lower lip. "I… it was nothing. It was none of my business, just as this is none of yours. Never mind."
He'd hurt her whether he wanted to or not. Even if Anne had long suspected her aunt and uncle did not love her, hearing they only thought of her as a means to an end, fulfilling their own selfish desires, had hurt her deeply.
Merrick understood the pain of not being wanted. Still, maybe she needed to sleep on what he'd told her before it could penetrate—before she accepted that he had no reason to lie to her. He started to turn away from her again when his sharp ears caught the slight snap of a twig underfoot. The scuffle of slippers against the pebbles that made a path to the stable from the house.
"Someone's coming," he said. "Better hide until we see who it is and what they want."
Anne seemed to mentally shake herself. She glanced around. "I don't hear anything."
"Quiet," Merrick warned again. He took her arm and led her toward an empty stall. "Go in there and don't come out until whoever it is has left."
"But," she started to protest. Merrick didn't allow her. He gently pushed her inside the stall and hoped she'd stay put. He didn't need to be found with her alone this time of night.
A figure appeared at the stable entrance a moment later. Merrick wasn't surprised by her visit. It was Anne's aunt. The woman had been ogling him since the morning he was introduced to her. He was used to such visits from his previous employers' wives. Merrick was usually amused by their interest, but not tonight, and not this particular woman.
"Can I be of assistance to you, Lady?" he asked.
She sashayed toward him. "I hope so. I noticed something that distressed me today and thought we should clear the matter up. I didn't see call to involve my husband."
"I don't imagine so," Merrick said drily.
"It concerns Lady Anne," the woman forged ahead. "I fear she may be smitten with you. And that you might take advantage of her innocence."
"Do you now?"
The woman stepped closer. Anne's aunt wasn't an unattractive woman, but she was nearly old enough to be Merrick's mother and the scowl she usually wore had deepened the lines in her forehead and around her mouth. "I've seen the way you look at her… and the way she looks at you. Anne is a beautiful young woman and I don't doubt you find her to your liking, but I won't have you making sport of her."
Merrick leaned casually back against the stall where Anne hid. "It's honorable that you want to protect her."
She shrugged. "I suppose even a sensible girl like Anne's head can be turned by a handsome face. And I am sure that you are well used to women throwing themselves at you, Merrick. There is no need, however, to go sniffing around her skirts when another option is open to you."
Although he knew what her answer would be, Merrick asked, "What option is that?"
Her hand shot out and her fingers traced a lazy path up the front of his chest. "Me, of course," she answered. "Despoiling an innocent is one thing. Having a dalliance with an experienced woman is another. My husband bores me and has since a week into our marriage."
Merrick didn't want the woman touching him, but Anne needed to be convinced that her aunt and uncle did not have her best interests at heart, no matter if she wanted to believe otherwise. "Are you worried that I'll ruin Lady Anne before you can marry her off?"
"Don't be silly," the woman snapped. "To be honest, I was simply feeling a bit like she'd intruded upon my territory. I consider everything on this property mine… you included." The woman cocked her head to one side. "Now that you mention that, however, it is not a bad idea. You see, I would prefer that Anne not marry. It would be to my benefit if she does not."
Merrick knew every word from the woman's mouth shattered Anne, but maybe Anne was too innocent for her own good. "So now you're asking me to ruin her so she won't be a fit wife for a gentleman of her own station?"
"It is a possibility," the woman answered. "But first, I want my fill of you. Do we have an understanding?"
He stopped the woman's hand from traveling farther up his chest. "No. We do not. I am not yours to command. You don't own me like I am a horse in your husband's stable. I have no wish to bed you, Lady."
Her face, maybe once pretty but now only bitter, suffused with color. "Are you refusing me?"
"I don't have many rights, but I imagine deciding who I pleasure and who I don't is one of them," he assured her. "Go back to the house and get what you need from your husband."
The woman's mouth fell open. "It's Anne, isn't it? You only want her."
Merrick thought about his answer. "I care for Anne. I would not demean her in the manner you want me to, and certainly not for your own gain."
"How do you know it would be to my gain?" The woman's eyes narrowed upon him. "And why would you care as long as you got what you want… unless." She suddenly laughed. "Oh dear, you're in love with her."
Was he? Merrick had never been in love before. He only knew he wanted to protect Anne. He wanted her to be happy. "You should go," he said to the woman. Anne had heard all she needed to hear.
"Poor fool." The woman clucked. "Even Anne knows her place in life, and yours. Don't think you're the first to be smitten. We've had to beat the suitors back with a stick, although Anne is not aware of that. I'd prefer she stay in the dark. Let her think she is not interesting enough to capture a man's attention. At least for a while longer."
"I can tell her what you've said to me," Merrick said.
The lady lifted a brow. "You wouldn't dare. And she wouldn't believe you anyway. Anne sees the best in us and always has. She is cursed that way, I suppose. Poor thing, so hungry for love."
Anger for Anne churned his gut. "How can you not love her?" He hadn't meant to speak the thought out loud.
Lady Baldwin drew herself up straighter. "I have done my duty by Anne. I didn't want children. I don't even like them, but my husband convinced me there would be rewards by taking Anne in and raising her. I will not see my just rewards stripped from me. And I think your time here has come to an end. You won't cooperate and I will therefore see you dismissed. I'll simply tell my husband you are not only trying to get Anne into your loft, but you have propositioned me, as well. Pack your things; you'll be gone come morning."
With that warning, Lady Baldwin turned and stormed from the stable. Merrick waited a moment to make certain she had gone. He opened the stall behind him and went inside. He found Anne huddled on the straw-covered floor. Her hands covered her face and her shoulders shook. His heart broke for her. He bent beside her and gently touched her.
Anne glanced up, tears streaming down her face. "I didn't want to believe you. I'm so blinded by my own hopes at times. I feel like a fool. Does that make you happy?"
At one time, Merrick supposed it would have brought him some sense of pleasure to expose her aunt's deception, to tear a family apart, one of the upper classes anyway. Merrick felt no pleasure in seeing Anne's tears. They tugged at his heart. "I'm sorry," was all he could think to say.
In her pain, he expected her to lash out at him, and he would understand, but instead she only covered her face with her hands and leaned into his body. "What am I going to do?"
Merrick took her shoulders and forced her to sit. "Look at me, Anne. You need to get married. And the sooner the better."
She blinked up at him. "Married? To whom?"
"To whomever," Merrick insisted. "The two of you can slip away to Gretna Green. You can marry before your aunt and uncle can stop you."
Anne ran a shaky hand through her hair. "It's impossible. First I'd have to go to London to find someone, then talk him into marrying me. My aunt and uncle would never let me go without them. I can't go alone. Not all that way without some type of protection. There are thieves on the roads. It wouldn't be safe."
Merrick would be dismissed tomorrow anyway. "I can take you to London, Anne. Now, tonight. I can protect you."
Her large doelike eyes lifted to him. She reached out and gently touched his cheek. "Why would you? Why do you care, Merrick?"
Why indeed? He'd never stuck his nose in matters that weren't his business before. But Anne felt like his business. "I know what it's like to feel as if you mean nothing to someone. But you aren't nothing, Anne. I won't have them making you feel that way."
Even though her heart was broken, Anne felt it flutter to life in that moment. No one had cared about her like Merrick seemed to care. He encouraged her hopes and dreams. He had protected her when she needed protection, and he had exposed her aunt and uncle's deceit to her, when she'd been too innocent to see it for herself. Anne couldn't think of one gentleman in London she would wish to marry. But she did know one man who made her feel like no other man made her feel, or no other man ever would.
"Marry me, Merrick," she whispered.
His eyes widened for a moment. "No, Anne," he said softly. "You can't marry me. You know that."
"I can," she argued. "We can run away together tonight, just like you said. We can go to Gretna Green."
Merrick shook his dark head. "You don't know what you're saying, Anne. You're upset, not thinking clearly."
Anne knew exactly what she wanted, maybe for the first time in her life. She loved Merrick. How or when or why didn't seem to matter at the moment She knew he cared about her, if of course he didn't love her. But she was used to that. She had to make him want to marry her for reasons that would best benefit him. She sadly understood that now, too.
"You are bitter because of the life denied to you," she said to him. "What better revenge than to marry into it? All I have will become yours. You won't have to sleep in a stable anymore, Merrick."
He shook his head again, but Anne saw that he was thinking about what she'd just said. Considering her offer. "If all you have is going to a man anyway, why not just let your uncle have it?" he reasoned.
Anne wouldn't lie to him about that "I am angry," she admitted. "And hurt. I've spent my life dancing to their tune in hopes of winning their approval, their love. I will have stipulations if you marry me."
He lifted a brow. "Such as?"
"My independence," she answered. "I expect to do as I please."
"And what would you expect of me?"
Staring into his eyes, she wanted to say that she expected him to love her, but Anne had learned her lesson about love. She knew now that it wasn't something one person could wrest from another. It had to be given willingly, freely. "I expect you to do as you please, as well," she answered. "As long as it doesn't interfere with what pleases me."
He made a snorting noise. "You want me under your thumb."
That was not what Anne truly wanted, but she couldn't tell him what she really desired. It would show him that she had learned nothing. "I am not as blind as I was yesterday, or even the day before. I understand now that my vision of the world has not been a true one. People are not good and kind simply for the sake of being so. They always want something."
Her answer broke his heart. Merrick had shattered her view of the world. He had already stolen her innocence. But she was right. What better revenge against a class who had wronged him and his mother than to marry into it? To have all that had been denied him? To have everything… but Anne. Still, he wasn't a fool. And Anne needed his help.
"All right," he said. "I'll marry you, Anne."
Anne ran her sleeve across her nose. "I haven't any money of my own."
Not a problem at the moment. Merrick supposed not a problem in his future, either. "I have the purse I won today. It will get us where we need to go and back."
They stared at each other in the darkness. Merrick felt her sudden indecision, was glad for it, to be truthful. He'd be a fool to refuse her offer. But if she decided to come to her senses, he couldn't say he wouldn't be relieved. She drew in a deep breath a moment later.
"Saddle the horses," she said.
Merrick and Anne were camped not a day's ride from Gretna Green. Anne had changed into the stable boy's trousers and boots before they stole from the stable. Merrick had proven unsurprisingly useful on the journey. He knew when to take to the woods and when to use the road. Where to find fresh game. He knew too many things for a mere mortal man. Tonight he'd said they could have a fire.
They sat before it now, eating a roasted rabbit he'd caught and skinned earlier. Merrick sat across from her. His eyes glittered in the darkness. Anne tried to tell herself it was due to the flickering firelight… but she'd seen them gleam before when there was no fire.
She hadn't told him about her suspicions regarding his father. Their flight from Blackthorn Manor hadn't given her time to think about anything but getting away. But now she had to tell Merrick. He deserved to know.
"I've been meaning to tell you something," she said.
"What's that?"
For a moment Anne was mesmerized by the sight of Merrick licking grease from his long, slender fingers. The meat was somewhat messy and it wasn't as if they were afforded the luxuries of home.
"Anne?" he asked.
She tried to regain her thoughts. "I believe I know who your father was."
His strange eyes pinned her in the darkness. "How could you possibly know that? I don't even know."
Anne used the coarse britches she wore to wipe her own greasy hands. "When I first saw you, I mean in the light of day, I had the strangest notion I had met you before. The day of the race, I realized it was because you are the spitting image of Lord Jackson Wulf. The reason it didn't immediately dawn upon me is because you have dark hair and light eyes and with him it is the opposite."
Merrick's brow furrowed. "Wulf? I've heard of them. Any man who knows anything about horses has heard of them. Never seen them. They don't spend a good deal of time in London to my knowledge."
"No," she agreed. "They prefer the country estate for the most part. They… well, there is talk about them."
His eyes met hers again. "Cursed," he said softly. "It is said they are cursed by insanity."
Anne waved a hand in dismissal. "I don't believe they are cursed. Lord Jackson is really quite nice if one takes the time to get to know him and as sane as the next man. I am not familiar with the other brothers but assume they are also as well mannered when the mood suits them. Lord Jackson and I are friends."
Merrick lifted a brow. "Friends?"
She might be fooling herself again, but Anne thought she caught a note of possessiveness in his voice. "He's married," she blurted. "I mean, he wasn't when I first met him abroad, but he is now."
Merrick continued to study her, as if trying to decide if her friendship with Lord Jackson might have been more than innocent. Finally, he asked, "And I look like him?"
She nodded. "More than a little. Too much for it be coincidence."
Lifting a water skin, Merrick took a drink. "The father is dead, if I recall."
"Yes," Anne responded. "A little more than ten years ago. He… he killed himself. They say he was mad when he did, and his wife insane, as well, when she went shortly after. It caused a scandal."
He was silent, as if mulling over what she'd told him. "What you say may be true, Anne, but I don't suppose it makes any difference now."
His response surprised her. Anne rose from the fallen log she sat upon. "No difference? To know you are a Wulf? To learn that you have half brothers? That makes no difference to you?"
Merrick shrugged. "It doesn't change anything for me, Anne." He stood as well. "I'm still a bastard. A secret my father wanted to keep hidden from the rest of the world. His dirty deed. I doubt the brothers would welcome me into the family with open arms, would be willing to share their lives and their wealth with me. I've still got nothing. No name, and now, no position."
Anne walked around the fire to join him. "Tomorrow, that will all change," she reminded him. "Tomorrow, you will have all that I have. More important, you will have your revenge."
His glittering gaze bored into hers. "And you will have yours. Right, Anne?"
She had to look away from him. For her, the marriage was not simply a matter of revenge. But Merrick need not know that. "Yes," she answered. "I will have my revenge."
The touch of his fingers upon her chin was gentle. He forced her to look at him again. "You should want more than that, Anne. Me, I cut my teeth on a need for revenge. But you're not like me. You're different."
Tears burned her eyes. Anne blinked them back. He was wrong. She was bitter. "I've wasted my life trying to be the person I thought my aunt and uncle wanted me to be. I've wasted my life trying to make them love me. That's all I wanted, to be loved again."
His fingers brushed a stray tear from her cheek. His eyes were soft as he gazed down at her. "And you deserve to be… loved. I'm thinking I cannot do this, Anne. Marry you. Not even for revenge."
Would Merrick reject her, as well? This possibility had not occurred to Anne when she'd ridden off into the night with him. "You don't want me, either," she whispered.
His eyes closed for a moment, as if her accusation hurt him. "I wanted you from the first moment I saw you. There are things I don't even understand about myself, Anne. You are good and kind and innocent, and you deserve better than this. An arrangement."
She'd believed if she hardened her heart against the world, it might spare her from ever feeling pain again. But now Anne understood that she was all that she had aspired to become while growing up. Her heart was soft, and it was soft for this man. She reached up and touched his cheek in turn.
"You are a better man than you give yourself credit for being. No man has ever made me feel the things that you make me feel."
Merrick suddenly pulled away from her and turned his back. "I make all women feel things," he said, his tone harsh. "It is one of my 'gifts.'"
Anne wasn't certain what he meant. She supposed she could count the way he looked as being a gift. His voice, low and lilting, that flowed over her like sweet honey syrup she imagined could be counted as a gift, too. But Anne knew her attraction toward him went beyond his outer beauty. His scent, even though it attracted her, could not make her feel something she didn't honestly feel inside.
Whether he wanted to have them or not, Merrick had morals. She strongly suspected that he would not take her innocence tonight without wedding her on the morrow. Which left Anne no choice but to seduce him. She couldn't turn back now. She didn't want to turn back.
Anne closed the distance between them and touched his shoulder. He turned to look at her. Lifting herself on tiptoes, she pressed her mouth against his. Although inexperienced in the art of seduction, Anne sensed that she must rid herself of all inhibitions—simply act upon her emotions and let them carry her away, and him with her, she hoped.
Merrick's lips were warm, firm, and, unfortunately, unresponsive. She glanced up at him from beneath her lashes. His eyes were open. She ended the contact.
"Tell me you want me, Anne."
Surely he knew that she did. Surely he had the experience to know. "You know that I do."
Merrick shook his dark head. "No, I don't know. Is it the scent on me that makes you want me? Does the reason have anything to do with me at all? Tell me you want me, Anne. Only me."
He reached out and pulled her closer. His scent was in the air now and Anne had to admit it was a strong aphrodisiac. But it was the man she wanted. The man who had taught her to ride a horse bareback, who had taken her racing across the moors in the moonlight. The man who had saved her from wolves. The man who cared enough about her to warn her of her aunt and uncle's deception. The man who would turn his back on a fortune because he thought she deserved more than a bargain for the sake of revenge.
All of her life, Anne had been waiting to be loved again.
Longing to be loved again. In that moment, she realized that Merrick did love her. Perhaps he did not even know it, but she knew it, and for the moment, that was all that mattered.
"It's the man I want, Merrick," she answered. "It's the man I love."
His eyes flared in the darkness. "Do you love me? A bastard? A man with strange gifts he cannot understand and a heart bitter against a world that has no proper place for him?"
Her arms went around his neck. "Your place is with me. Destiny brought us together. I need your strength and you need my softness."
Slowly, he lowered his head. His lips brushed softly across hers. "You have strength enough on your own, Anne," he said.
"Make love to me," she whispered. "Share all that you are with me. And I will share all that I am, or have, with you."
Merrick made a low sound in his throat, nearly a growl. His eyes flashed blue fire in the night. "Don't tempt me, Anne. You know I want you."
She lifted her chin. "Then take me, Merrick."
He smiled at her daring. "You would trap me into taking your innocence so that I am honor bound to say the vows tomorrow. Very clever, Anne."
Although what he said was true, he needn't make it sound as if that were Anne's only reason for wanting him. Who better than him? A man who understood her love of horses and riding? A man who would let her have her independence and who wouldn't mind so much if she wanted to be bad on occasion, perhaps as long as it was only with him? There was no wrong in tricking him into making love to her. Anne loved him. He might not say the words, but he loved her, as well. Or she thought he did. Was she fooling herself again?
"Do you love me, Merrick?"
He brushed a stray lock of hair from her face. "You're a hard woman not to love."
It wasn't an answer. Not really. "Do you love me?" she repeated.
He looked away from her. She thought he wouldn't answer; then he glanced back into her eyes. "You know I do."
Her heart pounded in her chest. Joy rose inside of her, because she knew he wasn't lying to her. He wasn't trying to deceive her. At long last, she had what she wanted. Bravely, Anne reached down and pulled her shirt and chemise over her head. She stood before him bare to the waist.
"Show me you love me," she said.
The fire in his eyes flared. His gaze roamed her naked flesh. Everywhere he looked, her skin heated. Her nipples puckered in the cool night air.
"Jesus, lass," he whispered, his voice low and raw sounding. "You're beautiful. Your skin is like fine porcelain—so pale and smooth I wonder if you'll break if I touch you."
"I will not break," she assured him, her own voice breathless. "Touch me and see."
Merrick's eyes locked with hers. He reached out and touched her cheek, caressing her gently before lowering his hand to her breast. She fit into his hand as if she were fashioned for him alone.
She gasped softly when his thumb brushed across her sensitive nipple. He bent forward, kissed her neck, then moved lower until his tongue performed the same tantalizing dance that his thumb had a moment earlier. Anne twisted her fingers in his thick hair. Her knees nearly buckled when he took the straining peak into his warm mouth and sucked. He straightened, gazed into her eyes, then picked her up in his arms as if she weighed nothing.
Their blankets were spread for the night and he took her to his, lowered her gently, and knelt beside her. "What do you know of matters between men and women, Anne?"
"Nothing much," she answered. "My aunt didn't speak to me of such things. My maid told me there would be pain my first time with a man."
Merrick ran a finger down her arm. "I don't know about being with a woman her first time. But I know there can be pleasure between us. Are you willing to go through the pain first?"
He offered her one last time to regain her senses. Anne didn't want to regain them. She did trust him. She had to trust him. There could not be love without trust.
"Yes," she answered. "I trust you, Merrick."
Slowly, he pulled his shirt over his head. Anne hadn't seen him without a shirt, and she quickly surmised it was something she wanted to do often in the future. His skin gleamed in the moonlight.
A smattering of dark hair covered his chest, tapering down into a thin line that traced a path down his corded stomach to disappear into the top of his trousers. She wanted to touch him. Wanted it badly enough to reach out and run her fingers down his chest. He was warm to the touch, as she knew he would be. She didn't know that a man could look soft and feel hard. There was no excess to be found on him. Only steely muscle and glorious tawny-colored skin.
"You are beautiful," she whispered.
"Come into my arms," he commanded. "Feel my skin against yours. Feel the differences between us."
She went willingly. The touch of her skin against his was like nothing she had experienced before. He tangled his hands in her hair and pulled her head back. Then he lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her.
They sank into a kiss where mouths were fused, tongues clashed, and gentleness slipped away on the night breeze. The soft down on his chest teased her nipples and sent heat coursing to the place between her legs. He lowered her to the blanket, mouths still joined, skin against skin. Only when her head touched the ground, cradled by his hand, did he end the kiss. Merrick stared down at her, hypnotizing her with his strange night eyes; then he bent to kiss her neck.
Lower he traveled, finding her nipple and drawing it so deep into his mouth that her nails dug into his shoulders. Her hips arched upward as if by some uncontrollable force. Between her legs, she began to throb. Slowly his hand traveled down her body. He came to the tie on her trousers and loosened it, then pulled the trousers down her hips and legs.
Anne was a modest person by nature. It wasn't so easy to leave the past behind in one night. But when Merrick kissed her again, she began to relax. While he distracted her with the skill of his mouth, he introduced her to the skill of his fingers.
The first touch made her jump, to have his hand there, where no man had been before. He did not soothe her with soft words but continued to kiss her, doing nothing more than stroking the curls that shielded her mound. It wasn't so awkward, Anne decided, more distracted by his tongue delving into her mouth than what purpose his hand might hold.
When she didn't resist, he became bolder. Gently, he slid his finger into her cleft and rubbed a place where all her sensation must surely lie. Anne gasped and tried to close her legs.
"Don't," he said softly. "Don't shut me out. Let me bring you pleasure before I bring you pain."
Her face flamed with embarrassment. "I—I'm wet there for some reason."
He smiled and gave her a soft, quick kiss. "If you weren't, I wouldn't be doing my job. You're wet there so our bodies can join. It's to welcome me in, so don't shut me out."
Anne willed her body to relax. She'd never imagined what all intimacy with a man entailed, but she rather thought it would be a quick affair, both only exposing the necessary parts to complete the act, then quickly righting their clothing and going to sleep. Necessary parts stuck in her head.
"Am I allowed to touch you, as well?" she asked. "I mean, wherever I wish?"
He lifted a brow. "Curious?"
"Yes," she answered.
He bent and kissed her again. "My body is yours tonight." He suddenly stood, slipped off his boots, then reached for the ties of his Cossacks. Ann turned on her side, placed a hand under her head, and watched him. She thought he took an abnormally long time to untie the fastening of his trousers. She might have even thought he was stalling, that he might be more modest than he pretended to be, but then she realized she was holding her breath, her eyes glued to the ties as his fingers leisurely undid them, and what he did he did for her pleasure.
Finally the ties were loosened and he slid his trousers down his hips, past his legs, and stepped from them. He straightened and stood before her naked. She supposed her eyes widened—resembled two twin moons. Whispered words from the ladies at the fair like "stallion" came to mind, and with good reason.
"Do you like what you see, Anne?"
She glanced up at his face. Shadows hid his features, but his eyes still glowed blue. Slowly, her gaze ran the length of him again. Past his broad shoulders, his muscled chest and flat abdomen, to the member jutting proudly, and rather impressively, away from his body. His hips were slim, his flanks smooth; his muscled legs were long and dusted by dark hair.
"Yes," she whispered. "Whatever your bloodline, you are a fine specimen of a man."
He came to her, bent beside her. Even though his eyes were on fire, his touch was gentle. He kissed her softly—teased her lips until her arms slid up around his neck and her fingers twisted in his hair. He lay beside her and pulled her into his arms and the contact of flesh against flesh, male against female, warmed her body and crashed through any defenses still standing. Slowly, he traced a finger down her body from neck to navel, and then lower.
"I want to touch you, and taste you, and make you mine… forever."
She wanted that, too. To be claimed by him, to claim him in turn. Bravely, she reached out and touched him, let her fingers slide down his broad chest, his flat stomach, to wrap around his sex. He jerked slightly and Anne quickly snatched her hand away.
"Did I hurt you?" she whispered.
"No," he assured her. "Just took me a bit by surprise."
Again she reached out and touched him. "Is it always so… so…?"
"No," he assured her again. "Although around you, yes, most of the time."
She wanted to ask him more, but he bent toward her and kissed her again. Anne was innocent, but not so innocent that she didn't understand that he was finished talking. He moved lower and kissed her neck, then lower. While he teased her nipples with his teeth and tongue, his hand slid down again to her woman's mound, and she did not shut him out. He stroked her there as he had done before, stroked her until she bit her lip and moved with and against the pressure of his fingers. A force built inside of her—a desperate need—a hunger she had never felt before.
Her breath now came in ragged gasps. Her nails dug into his back, and beneath him she bucked as if she had no control over her body. He increased the pressure, and when he slipped one finger inside of her she nearly came up off the blanket.
"Easy," he said against her lips, and Anne thought it was the same tone he used to calm skittish horses. The pressure stopped and she wanted to whimper—to beg—but for what she still wasn't certain. Gently, he spread her legs with his knees, then settled between them. Instinctively, Anne tensed beneath him, but he kissed her, distracting her sudden trepidation, and when he made no further move, she began to relax, to savor the feel of his mouth moving over hers, his tongue delving into her mouth in a rhythm her hips wanted to match for some odd reason.
His hand slid between them again and he took up the torture. He'd told her she was supposed to be wet there, and Anne was glad of it or she would have been terribly embarrassed. He used that wetness, rubbing her sensitive nub until she thought something inside of her would burst. Then she felt him poised at the entrance to her woman's passage.
He was big there, just like the rest of him was big, and she felt him stretching her with the tip of his member. He moved a little ways inside of her and she gasped with the pressure. He gasped, too, but it was a different sort of distress, she thought.
"Damn," he whispered. "You shouldn't feel this good. I'm trying to go slow with you, Anne. It's damn hard to do when you feel like this."
And having said as much, he thrust in deeper. The pain was sharp and stabbing and caught her by surprise. She didn't scream, although the gasp that emerged from her lips was more forceful than the last. Tears stung her eyes, and for a moment she wondered how he'd managed to seduce her into this position. He moved in deeper and she steeled herself for more pain. It didn't come. Not that she wasn't very aware of him, his size filling her, stretching her, but there wasn't pain, only pressure.
"Now that the pain is over, I can please you," he said. "Are you all right?"
She nodded. He kissed her deeply, while below he slowly but steadily invaded her body. He moved, and he moved in such a way that stimulated her, just as he had done with his fingers earlier. It wasn't unpleasant.
Her hips arched against him. He sucked in his breath and plunged deeper. She sucked in her breath, too, and then her body took over, her instincts, her passion for him, and gentle wooing slipped away. His scent filled her senses and something primitive rose up inside of her. Her nails dug into his back, her teeth nipped at his neck, and he thrust deeper, harder, forcing a moan of pleasure from her. She began to tingle, then to throb where they were joined. Desperation made her move wildly beneath him. He pulled back, twisted his hand in her hair, and stared down at her, his eyes aglow with passion.
That's when she shattered, when the pressure had built to the point it would no longer be contained. Warmth spread over her, and her body continued to buck and convulse against him, and still he moved, still he thrust, only extending the pleasure until she thought she would die from it. Only when she thought she could stand no more did he thrust deep inside of her, groan her name, and hold himself there, still, as if he were poised on the brink of death. Then she felt him shudder. She clung to him, their hearts pounding wildly against each other, bodies coated in sweat, breathing fast and erratic.
She thought it had ended, the storm that raged between them, battered them, spat them out upon the shore to do nothing but lie exhausted, but then Merrick groaned and rolled away from her. He doubled up, clutching his stomach.
Anne struggled to turn on her side. Her limbs felt as if they had no bones. "What is it, Merrick?"
He didn't answer, but his body jerked. Anne wasn't familiar with lovemaking, but she didn't suspect this was part of it. "Merrick," she tried again. "Look at me. Tell me what is wrong!"
He tilted his head back. His eyes glowed blue, which was not something she hadn't seen before, but as he gasped with the pain, the moonlight gleamed off of his teeth, and they did not look like they had a moment earlier. His eyeteeth had lengthened and strongly resembled fangs. She touched his face and he grabbed her wrist. Anne nearly screamed. His fingers were bent, his nails jutting from his fingertips like claws.
Staring down at his hand, as she did, Merrick quickly released her. "What am I?" he whispered, and his voice came out garbled. "What am I?" he shouted, his voice in agony as his body began to convulse and contort.
Anne scrambled away from him. She grabbed her blanket from the ground and wrapped it around her. Trembling, she watched, both helpless and terrified. What she saw taking place before her could not be real. Such things only happened in nightmares. Merrick still lay on the ground, naked, contorting, but as she watched, hair began to cover his body. His limbs shrank, his features changed, and where once a man lay on the blanket it was a beast that rose on all fours and stood staring at her in the darkness.
"Merrick?" she whispered.
The beast did not respond. Instead, it glanced skyward at the full moon. The wolf howled, and in that sound Anne heard all the sorrow and anger of a man betrayed.
The animal lowered its head and stared at Anne. It peeled back its lips, displaying impressive fangs. Loved by him as a man, killed by him as a beast. That thought floated through Anne's mind before the darkness crept deeper into her vision, surrounded her from all sides, swallowed her whole.
The sun peeking through the trees woke Anne. She was curled in a ball, her blanket clutched around her. For a moment she couldn't remember where she was or why. She tried to move and her muscles protested. The ache between her legs brought the night before flooding back. She sat abruptly and glanced around the campsite.
Merrick sat on a log staring at her. He'd donned his trousers and sat with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders, shivering. He looked human again… almost. His eyes were haunted.
"What happened to me, Anne?"
She didn't want to think about that. She wanted desperately to pretend last night had never happened… at least up to a certain point. "You turned into a wolf."
He blinked. "What do you mean? I acted like a beast?"
Anne had trouble grasping what had happened last night, much less explaining it, and to the person it happened to. She could only be straightforward. "No, Merrick. A wolf. An animal. You turned into one before my very eyes."
He ran a shaky hand through his hair; then he held his hand in front of him and stared at it. "What you're saying is impossible."
"It is possible," she countered, tugging her blanket tighter around her in the chilly morning air. "I would have never thought so… until last night."
He rose and shrugged from his blanket. "We must have dreamed it," he said, and the look in his eyes begged her to agree with him.
Could Anne pretend? Her whole life had been a pretense up until now. She must be honest with him and with herself. "Your gifts," she said. "Could this be another one of them?"
"Gifts?" he growled. "If what you say happened to me did, it's no gift, Anne. It's a curse."
"What do you recall of last night?" she asked.
His angry features softened for a moment. Merrick joined Anne, bending beside her. "Us," he answered. "Together. As one. Then the pain. The horrible pain. After that, nothing until I woke naked and shivering in the woods this morning."
Anne glanced down at her hands clasped around the blanket. "I thought I was going to die," she confessed, glancing back up at him. "When you stood before me as a wolf, I thought you would kill me."
His eyes misted and he glanced away from her. "I would never hurt you, Anne. I'd take my own life before I'd let myself, in any form, take yours." He glanced back at her. "I've got to go from here."
Today was to be her wedding day. And no, it would not have been a grand affair with flowers and a church and all of society turned out, but whatever it was, it was meant to be hers. Last night, Anne had found all she was looking for in this man. She couldn't let the dream go.
"Maybe it won't happen again." Perhaps it was wishful thinking, but Anne wasn't certain she wasn't right. Perhaps last night they were both drugged, drugged on each other, when she thought he'd turned into a wolf.
"What if it does, Anne?"
"What if it doesn't?" she countered.
He stared into her eyes for a long time before he said, "All right. I'll give it one more night. I hope it's not a mistake, Anne."
Merrick went hunting in the afternoon. His senses, always stronger, he suspected, than those of a normal man, were now heightened tenfold. He heard as he had never heard before. Saw movement in the brush and the distance no mortal man could see. At times, when he spotted an animal, he did not see the animal at all but only the blood pumping red through its veins.
Could what Anne said happened last night have really happened? Flashes had gone through his mind all day. Flashes of them together, making love, then the pain, the sight of his hand, covered in hair, claws jutting from his fingernails. He felt almost sick now with the memory of it… sick, and yet as he watched Anne move around the camp he felt something else. Something primal. The instinct to mate with her again.
Merrick shook his head and tried to dislodge the thought. He'd spilled his seed in Anne last night, certain that he would marry her today. If he really was this beast now, this man by day and an animal by night, he could not marry her. And yet he might have planted his bastard. He above all men should know better than to do that to any child.
"Anne, come here," he called.
She glanced up from throwing another handful of branches on the fire, where a spit roasted their supper. He hoped she would show wariness of him, but she did not hesitate to come to him.
"What is it, Merrick?"
She stood before him, so beautiful, her eyes etched with worry… worry for him, he realized. "Sit." He nodded toward the place next to him.
"But our supper—" she began.
"Can wait," he finished.
Anne sat beside him. He took her pale, delicate hand in his. "Tonight, once the moon is up, if it happens again, I want you to make me a promise."
"That tree," Anne said, nodding in the direction where their bedrolls were spread. "I can climb it easily if—"
"No," he interrupted, staring deep into her eyes. "I don't want you to run from me, Anne." Merrick took the pistol from his waistband and handed it to her. "I want you to kill me."
Her lovely eyes widened. She refused to take the weapon he tried to press into her hand. "No, Merrick," she breathed. "Don't ask me to do that. I love you."
His heart twisted inside of his chest. He took her hand and forced the pistol into it. "If you love me, you'll do this for me, Anne. I'll have no life. A man by day, a beast by night. I'd be better off dead."
Tears filled her eyes. She shook her head. "You can have a life, Merrick. One with me. Like we planned. I've been thinking. We could go to the Wulf brothers—"
"No," he interrupted her. "I'll not crawl begging to them. I have my pride, Anne. If they are my blood kin, our father wanted them to have nothing to do with me or he'd have seen that I was raised alongside of them. He'd have seen they knew about me before he died."
"But maybe they know what is happening to you," Anne persisted. "It is said they are cursed. Perhaps the curse is not one of insanity as all believe. Maybe they suffer what you now suffer. Maybe they know a way—"
"Anne," he said more gently. "Don't you see? It's because our father must have known something was wrong with me that he kept me a secret, hidden away, ashamed and embarrassed about me. No, I'll not go to them."
She threw the pistol down and rose, staring down at him. "You'd rather die?" she asked. "Is that it, Merrick? Your pride is worth more than your life, than our life together?"
He rose to meet her glare for glare. "We have no life together," he drew out as if she were a slow-witted child. "Not if it happens again tonight. Now, promise me."
Anne shook her head. "I will not promise you. I don't think you would harm me, Merrick. You could have last night. I was unconscious. You might not remember what happened, but I believe you are still somehow you, even when the beast has taken your physical form."
"You believed your aunt and uncle cared more for you than they did for your inheritance, too," he reminded her unkindly. When she took a step back from him, as if he'd struck her, he felt like a beast indeed. "Forgive me for that," he said softly. "It was a cruel thing to say."
Anne straightened her spine and lifted her chin. "The truth is often cruel. So while we are on the subject of honesty, maybe you should examine your own motives for refusing help of any kind from anyone. I think you like it, Merrick. Being a bastard. Being bitter. Wanting your revenge. If you have all that, then you don't need anything else, or anyone. You don't have to be responsible. You don't have to share your heart. You don't have to give. You don't have to succeed where you feel your father has failed. You don't have to one day look in the mirror and realize that you are just like him."
"I am not like him!" Merrick hadn't meant to shout—didn't mean to make her jump—but dammit, he was not like the sorry excuse for a man who must have spawned him. He'd never abandon a child of his… or would he? For all he knew, he was already doing that. Merrick was no longer hungry. He needed time to think. Time alone. He walked away.
He halfway expected Anne to stop him, but she did not. It was better that she didn't. His physical hunger had disappeared, but his hunger for her was another matter. He wanted her. But if he could not have her in love, he should not take her in lust. The man knew that… the beast that prowled inside of him did not.
Anne had dozed off when Merrick woke her. He crawled into her bedroll naked. She had begun to fear he wouldn't return. She'd checked the horses tethered in a nearby meadow often to make sure the stallion still grazed alongside her mare. Anne had eaten, cleaned their camp, done all she could think to do to bide her time; then she'd become sleepy without anything to distract her.
"Anne," he breathed, pulling her close to him. She went willingly, snuggling into his warmth. His hair was damp. He'd obviously found a stream to bathe in, and she longed to do the same. She'd cleaned up as best she could earlier with water from their flasks.
"Do you know your scent travels through the forest and finds me no matter how far away I go?" he asked, nipping gently at her throat. "Your scent will always call me back to you. I cannot resist it."
Her hands traveled over him as if she had no will over them. Could she and Merrick have been dreaming last night? Could two people, joined in body, in soul and heart, share the same nightmare?
More than anything, Anne wanted to believe they could, that they in fact had. Her hands, moving over his warm, muscled flesh, told her he was only a man. He pressed against her and she felt his readiness for her. Her pulses leaped. Anne closed her eyes and refused to think about what had happened last night. Behind closed lids, she wouldn't see if his own eyes were glowing blue in the darkness. "Kiss me," she whispered.
He did, very gently, which nearly broke her heart. His body shook with his need of her, and yet his lips were tender. She knew in that instant that she should never fear him. No matter if they had shared a nightmare or if the nightmare had been real, Merrick did not have it in his heart to hurt her. Whoever he was, whatever he was, she loved him.
Her hands crept into his hair and she slanted her mouth beneath his, opened wider, and invited him to invade. He did. Tenderness burned away beneath the rise of scorching passion. Suddenly he was pulling at her clothes, and she did all she could to aid him. Their breaths grew ragged between kisses. His hands moved over her, everywhere, on her breasts, down her stomach, between her legs.
She was already wet for him by the time his fingers stroked her. He moaned into her mouth and parted her legs with his knees. He'd been gentle upon his entrance last night. Tonight he forged ahead, thrusting deep in one smooth motion that made her gasp.
"Wrap your legs around me, Anne," he commanded.
Without hesitation, she obeyed him. He grasped her hips and thrust deep again, and again, over and over until she tingled, ached with both pleasure and pain, holding on to him as he took them over the edge of sanity. He became primal, biting at her neck, but never hard enough to draw blood, and she in turn used her nails on his back, urged him onward, became as primal as he. The tension coiled inside of her—grew until she exploded. She arched against him and screamed his name.
One deep plunge and she felt him pulsing inside of her, felt him spilling his seed.
She clung to him, both of them gasping for breath, their hearts beating wildly against each other… then the first spasm of pain took him. Merrick jerked away from her.
"The pistol, Anne," he ground out. "Get the pistol!"
She sat, clutching the blanket to her naked breasts, staring down at him. Their eyes met and locked. Slowly, she shook her head. "No, Merrick. I will not."
Pain made him spasm, made him curl into a ball, his knees up against his chest. His eyes glowed blue, but even in the darkness, she saw them fill with tears.
"Please, Anne," he managed. "I would die if I ever hurt you. I love you."
Reaching out, she touched his hair, smoothed it from his face. "I trust you, Merrick. Now you must find the strength to trust yourself."
"Damn you, Anne!" he shouted. "Your trusting heart will get you killed!"
Another spasm, one stronger, took him. Anne scooted away from him. She came up against the tree she had told him she would climb if she felt threatened, but she didn't ready herself to leap into action. The pistol was in a pack she'd placed at the base of the tree. With trembling hands, she reached inside the pack and drew the weapon out.
Before her, on the blanket where they had just made love again, Merrick danced the dance of the wolf. His body twisted and turned. The hair came, then the teeth, the claws, his body shrank, and then he was gone. The wolf came swiftly to its feet.
Despite what she'd told Merrick, her first instinct was to grasp the pistol securely, lift it, and take aim. The animal stared deep into her eyes. They were Merrick's eyes looking at her through the face of a wolf. Anne lowered the pistol.
"You want to kill me, then go ahead," she said softly. "But the man you share your skin with will be very angry."
The wolf cocked its head to one side. A moment later it turned and trotted off into the night. Anne released the breath she'd been holding. She laid the pistol within reach and tugged the blanket up around her. She would wait until morning to see if Merrick had told her the truth. If her scent would always bring him back to her.
Anne spent the whole night waiting, listening, hoping Merrick would return to her in the form of the man she loved. A twig snapped and she glanced up. Merrick stood naked in the bushes. He shivered in the morning air. Anne clutched her blanket tighter, rose, and went to him. They simply stared at each other for a moment before she stepped forward, opened her blanket, and enveloped him inside with her. His skin was freezing.
"Why didn't you do what I told you to do, Anne?" he asked against her hair. "We both know now it was no dream we shared."
"And we both know you didn't hurt me," she countered.
"Yet," he ground out.
She tilted her head to look up at him. "Why must you believe the worst of yourself, Merrick?"
He met her gaze with a hard one of his own. "And how can you stand here with me, sharing your warmth, when you know what I am now?"
She pulled the blanket tighter around them. "Because I love you," she answered. "That's what love is, Merrick. It is unconditional. Is your love for me not the same?"
He struggled out of the blanket and away from her. Merrick walked to where he'd discarded his clothing the night before and began to dress. "It's because I love you that I must do what is best for you, Anne. I'm taking you to London."
Her heart sank. "London?"
"You surely have friends there you can stay with. You'll find yourself a suitable man and be quick about it, just as you should have done from the start."
Anne frowned at him. "I am not leaving. We are one day's ride from Gretna Green and I intend to go there, and to marry you, just as we agreed."
Merrick tugged his shirt over his head. "I won't marry you, Anne. Not now."
They were back to this again. Anne felt frustration knot her stomach. "Then you will take me home," she said. "Not to London."
Merrick paused in his dressing to rub his forehead. "You cannot go back there and you know it. Not until—"
"I will not marry another," she interrupted. "I will go home and make the best of my life, wiser now where my aunt and uncle are concerned. Maybe in time you will come back. Maybe in time you will love me as I love you."
He cussed and stormed to her side. "It's not that I don't love you, Anne. You know I do. But—"
"But your pride will keep you from having all that should be yours," she interrupted again.
Merrick wondered what was wrong with the lass. Couldn't she see it was impossible for them to be together now? That he was cursed? That she would be cursed right along with him? Never mind she would have been regardless of what he was but because of who he was. It was foolish of him to agree to her proposal of marriage. What had he been thinking? That she could make him more than he was?
She had already made him more than he ever dreamed he'd be. Loved, by a woman like her. Thoughts of revenge against her class had faded beside the wonder of her love. He'd judged all by the actions of one man. Anne had shown him there was goodness still left in the world, kindness to be found from others, never mind if they lived in a grand house or a stable.
Through her, he had felt hope. Hope that he might rise above who he was and be a better man. Now he knew being a better man had nothing to do with what side of the blanket he was born on or where he called home. But he learned these lessons too late. Now he was not even a man. He was something else.
Merrick stared down at Anne, standing with her blanket draped around her, chin held high. Even without her fine clothes and her fancy manners, she was a lady through and through. His mother would have liked her. And Anne was right. It was his cursed pride that made him less than he could be. It had always been his pride.
"What would you have me do, Anne?"
Her eyes softened. "I want you to marry me, Merrick. I want you to go to your half brothers and speak to them about what has happened to you. If they invite you into their lives, then you must accept and claim them as your kin. Just as I will."
He took a deep breath. His pride was a hard thing to set aside, but for her he would. "If that is your wish, Anne. For you, I will surrender my pride. For you, I will do anything."
Her face seemed to light from within. Her smile nearly blinded him. She started to reach for him, but the pain suddenly came upon Merrick again. He doubled over. He placed his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. The next pain sent him to the ground.
"Merrick!"
Anne's voice came to him from a long way off. Sweat beaded his brow. This could not be happening. It was the light of day, not night, with a full moon hanging in the sky. Could this curse be something that grew stronger daily? Would he soon cease to be a man altogether?
"Merrick!"
He felt Anne's hand upon his shoulder and twisted away from her. "Don't, Anne," he warned. "Stay back. It's happening again." His eyes frantically searched the camp. "The pistol, Anne! Where is it?"
"I won't use it. I don't need it," she said, bending down beside him. "I trust you, Merrick. You still haven't learned to trust yourself."
She was vulnerable. She did not even have her clothing to protect her from his teeth, his claws, should he attack her. Trust was easy enough when he had control of himself, but when the animal took him…
"Where is the pistol?" he repeated, another sharp pain cutting into his stomach.
She didn't answer, but her eyes moved toward the pack at the base of the tree where she'd spread their bedrolls for the night. Merrick staggered to his feet and toward the pack. Anne was on his heels and they both grabbed for the pack at the same time.
"No, Merrick!" she sobbed.
He pushed her away and reached into the pack, removing the pistol. The pistol was cold in his hand and he shook so badly he wondered if he could cock and shoot it. Damn if he would live his life as an animal. He steadied the gun, stared down the long, smooth barrel; then his gaze lifted to Anne. Her beautiful eyes were awash with tears, pleading, loving. She held out a hand to him.
"Don't do this to me," she whispered. "If you take your life, you take mine."
He hesitated.
"Trust in yourself, Merrick," she said. "Trust in me."
Could he? He'd never trusted anyone besides his poor mother. She'd trusted a man once. A man who had pushed her aside quickly enough when he learned she carried his child. It was man's nature, Merrick had since learned, to take the easy road. It had been his… until now. Slowly, he lowered the weapon.
"For you, I promised I would do anything. I will trust as you trust, Anne."
Suddenly Merrick was thrown backward against the tree. It knocked the air from him, and as he opened his mouth to gasp, a blue light spilled forth. His vision blurred. His throat burned. Tears ran from his eyes and he could not close his mouth, could not breathe. The light took form, took shape, that of a wolf. Only when the shape was complete and stood between him and Anne could he suck air into his lungs. The animal stared at him as he straggled to regain his breath. Merrick stared back.
"Begone with you, wolf," he growled.
The shape slunk slowly off into the woods.
"Merrick!" Anne was beside him, her cool hands brushing his hair from his face. "What happened?"
He wasn't sure… but he felt different now. Different than he'd ever felt before. It was almost as if he were blind, deaf, but no, his abilities had only weakened to what he supposed normal people saw and heard. He glanced up at Anne's pale face.
"I think it's gone from me," he told her. "The gifts, the curse, whatever it was. It is gone."
"Gone?" she whispered. "Are you certain, Merrick?"
He was, and Merrick didn't know how he felt about that yet. The gifts had been part of him; the curse had only come recently. He was only a man now. But no, he was a man in love with a woman. One who would stand beside him, cursed or no.
"I'm certain," he answered.
Anne sat back on her heels, looking rather stunned by what had just happened. "What should we do?"
There was only one thing to do. Get on with the rest of their lives. He took Anne's chilled hand in his and kissed her fingers. "I'm thinking we should be off to Gretna Green. I plan to marry you today, Lady Anne."
Her lips trembled when she smiled, but she was made of sturdier stuff than she knew. Then she frowned. "It has just occurred to me that you have no last name to give me, Merrick."
He thought on that, but only for a moment. "My name is Wulf, Merrick Wulf, and I'm thinking after we get ourselves wed, it's time to pay my half brothers a visit. We may need their help in the coming days."
Tears glistened in her eyes. "You would do that for me?"
Merrick pulled her into his arms. "I told you, I will do anything for you, Anne."
"Anything?" she asked, glancing up from beneath her lashes.
She was naked beneath the blanket and Merrick was thinking it wouldn't take him long to recover from becoming a man and only a man. He thought he knew what his lady love wanted.
"We've got all day to get to Gretna Green," he said, bending to kiss her. "What would you ask of me, Anne?"
She placed a finger against his lips to stop him. "I want to ride your horse, bareback, in nothing at all."
Merrick blinked down at her. It wasn't the start he'd imagined to their new life together, but as he'd promised, he could deny her nothing.
"And you will," he assured her, bending to kiss her again. "But later."