Love in the Time of Dragons

Chapter Sixteen

“By the rood, they can’t be early, can they?” I paused on my way through the French doors in the sitting room to peer out of the glass next to the front door. A car was pulling to a stop. “I’m not ready! We don’t have all the beverages out to the field yet, let alone the canapés!” “I can help you with the canapés,” Jim said, licking its lips as it emerged from the kitchen hauling a large basket. “Oooh, visitors?” “If your demon lord came early just to catch us by surprise — oh, no!” “Who is it?” Jim asked, peering around me. Its eyebrows rose. “Heh. This ought to be fun.” “What is Savian doing, telling everyone in the Otherworld where I am?” I muttered as I set down the tray of cut glass crystal goblets and opened the door. “Good afternoon, Dr. Kostich.” “Tully,” he said, inclining his head toward me. “I trust you will excuse my unannounced arrival. I have matters of great import to discuss with you.” “Actually, I’m a bit busy today. Could you come back another time? Say, next year?” The look he gave me said much, and none of it was in my favor. He strolled past me into the house, casually tossing over his shoulder, “I assume you have the von Endres blade by now. I have come to collect it.” “Oh, lord,” I swore, looking heavenward for a moment. “Why me?” “What’s going on… oh man. Greetings, your eminence,” Jim said, almost groveling toward Dr. Kostich. I didn’t wonder that the demon, normally the most flip of beings, had adopted a respectful air. Clearly it had come into contact with Dr. Kostich before.

I turned slowly back to the foyer, trying to think of a diplomatic way to explain to the head of the Otherworld that I would not be stealing Baltic’s sword.

“What are you doing here?” Kostich asked, staring at Jim where it sat in the center of the narrow hall.

Jim dipped its head again in a doggy bow. “Ysolde’s making me be a pack mule. I didn’t know you were going to be here, though. Not that there’s anything wrong with you being here,” it added quickly as it backed up a few steps.

“I dislike demons,” Dr. Kostich told it, his eyes narrowing and his fingers twitching as if he might cast a spell.

“Ysolde!” Jim almost yelped, hurrying over to press into my leg. “You promised Ash to keep me safe! Don’t let him do anything to me.” “You’re a demon,” I told it, patting it on its head nonetheless. “He can’t harm a demon. No one can but a demon lord. Not permanently, anyway.” “Wanna bet?” Jim peeked out around my leg at my former employer.

My eyebrows rose. “You can harm a demon? Not just its form, but the demon itself?” Dr. Kostich just smiled.

“Don’t worry, I won’t let anyone harm you,” I said meaningfully. “Jim is my guest, Dr. Kostich.” The demon moved out a few steps. “Hostage is more like it. Ysolde demon-napped me. Not that I mind, because she’s cool and all.” “I can’t imagine why she would want to do that—” The words dried up on his lips as Baltic emerged from a back room. He paused at the sight of Kostich. The two men stared at each other.

“Uh-oh,” Jim said, backing up again.

“You!” Kostich said, pointing dramatically at Baltic. “It is you!” Baltic shot me an irritated glance.

“I didn’t tell him where we were,” I answered the look. “Savian did.” “Now you will pay for your crimes against the L’audela!” Dr. Kostich announced, and began to cast what I knew was a morphing spell.

“I really should have killed you when I had the chance,” Baltic snarled, holding out his hand. The light blade materialized in a burst of blue-white light.

“No!” I yelled, running to stand between them. “I will not have this! Not now! Not today! Not when I haven’t made the lemon sorbet yet!” Baltic, in the act of raising the sword over his head, presumably to strike down Dr. Kostich, paused and frowned at me. “Lemon sorbet?” “For after the sárkány. I thought a little lemon sorbet and some ladyfingers would be refreshing.” He lowered the sword, his lips tight as he turned to face me. “This is not a party, Ysolde!” “Lemon sorbet does not constitute a party,” I pointed out.

“Regardless, I will not feed my enemies!” “Might I interject a note of seriousness into this bizarre conversation—” Dr. Kostich started to say.

“Don’t think it will do any good,” Jim answered as I pushed my way past Dr. Kostich to face Baltic.

“They are our guests, and I will be damned if I have it said that people came to my house and I did not offer them common hospitality.” “Sorbet is not common hospitality,” he argued. “It’s dessert.” “I thought people would like something to cleanse their palates after the canapés!” I said, slapping my hands on my thighs. “Pardon me for being civilized.” “Canapés? Now you have canapés?” His face was beginning to flush, always a sign his temper was slipping. “What next, champagne?” Pavel emerged from the door leading to the basement, a cardboard box in his hands bearing the name of a famous brand of champagne. Baltic looked at him in disbelief before turning a scowl on me. “That’s my vintage Bollinger’s!” “It won’t hurt you to share.”

“With people who want me dead!” he yelled.

“I completely understand their feelings,” Dr. Kostich said. “About the von Endres sword—” “That’s it,” Baltic said, raising the sword again. “I’m killing him; then I will deal with you, mate.” Dr. Kostich took a step back, his hands going through the intricate twists and turns of a morphing spell.

“You will not hurt him! I will never forgive you if you hurt him!” I told Baltic.

He glared at me, his eyes sparking onyx, his jaw tight with tension. “You are pushing me too far, woman!” “I just want everyone to get along!” I yelled, so frustrated I could… well, yell. “Why can’t people stop trying to kill each other and steal things from each other and so help me god, Dr. Kostich, if you complete that morph spell, I’ll slap you with one myself!” My former employer lifted his nose, his fingers dancing in the air as they drew near to completing a particularly detailed morph spell that would turn Baltic into some other form. “You are under an interdict. Your magic does not work.” “Wanna bet?” I snarled, and pulled hard on the dragon fire within me, letting my own fingers do a little spell casting.

A banana materialized out of the air and fell to his feet.

He stopped his morph spell. Everyone stared at the banana.

“Um. That was supposed to be a slavering tiger,” I said, prodding the fruit with the toe of my shoe. “I guess the interdict is making my magic wonky.” “Understatement time,” Jim said, sniffing it. “You want me to pretend I’m a tiger and stab the archimage with it?” We all ignored Jim.

“You should not be able to even cast a spell,” Kostich said, giving me a long look. “It is not possible that you can do so with the interdict placed upon you.” “My mate is not a normal woman,” Baltic said, hauling me into his side with his free arm. With the other, he waved the sword at Kostich. “She is a light dragon. She is beyond your understanding.” “You!” Kostich snapped again, glaring at Baltic as he gathered up arcane energy into a bluish white ball.

“Here we go again,” Jim said, taking the banana to the bottom step of the staircase. “At least I have snacks for this show.” “Don’t you dare!” I told Kostich just as he released the arcane ball. Baltic parried it with a flash of his light blade.

“Very Wonder Woman,” Jim said, its mouth full. “How are you with bullets?” “Oh!” I yelled, glaring at the mage, rolling up my sleeves. Baltic hauled me back as I was about to pounce on my former employer. “Let go of me, Baltic! No one throws arcane magic at my man!” “Dragon,” Jim corrected.

“Move out of the way,” Kostich warned, pulling on his power to form another arcane ball. “I shall smite the dragon where he stands!” I twisted in Baltic’s grip, shoving him hard to the side. Kostich’s ball of power shot past us and hit a vase standing on a pedestal, exploding both into a bazillion tiny pieces.

“Steeeerike!” Jim said, tossing the now empty banana peel onto the floor in front of Kostich.

“What the hell are you doing?” Baltic asked as I continued to shove him toward the drawing room. “Leave me be, mate! I must attend to that deranged mage once and for all.” “I am not deranged!” Dr. Kostich bellowed, turning as he pulled together yet more power, forming it between his hands into a sphere that glowed blue. “Now stand still, damn you, so I can smite you!” “Oh, no, he’s not deranged,” Jim said, cocking an ironic eyebrow.

“Stop it!” I shouted as Baltic yanked me sideways, out of the path of the ball of power. It went through the window, shattering the glass along the way.

“You are so going to pay for that window!” I said, storming toward Kostich.

“Mate, will you get out of the way so I can kill the mage?” Baltic snarled, his blade flashing from side to side as Dr. Kostich, muttering imprecations under his breath, quickly threw tiny little sparks of light at him one right after another.

“No one is killing anyone — you bastard!” I gasped as Dr. Kostich, whirling around when the wind caused the door to close loudly, sent a blast of arcane power into the tray of leaded crystal goblets. “Those were for the après-sárkány lemon sorbet! Right! That’s it! No more Miss Nice Whatever-the-hell-I-am!” “Dragon,” Dr. Kostich said at the same moment Baltic said, “Mate,” and Jim added, in not nearly a quiet enough voice, “Crazy lady?” I snatched up a small Chippendale chair with a cream and pale blue striped seat, and lunged toward the mage with it held out before me, as if I were a lion tamer and he were a particularly obstreperous lion. “Back! Back, I say! You can’t have the sword! You can’t have Baltic; he’s mine! Go away, and don’t bother us again! Er… do I get paid for the last two weeks even though you put the interdiction on me? Because I haven’t seen my paycheck deposited yet, and I promised Brom he could pick out a large dehydrator for his birthday, and that’s only a couple of weeks away.” A burst of whitish blue light flared in front of me, the chair I held disintegrating as the arcane power blasted it to smithereens. I stared in surprise first at my hand, which held one surviving leg of the chair, then up to Dr. Kostich. “You aimed that at me!” I said, aghast.

A low growl of anger came from Baltic, and suddenly, the room was full of a white dragon, fire erupting around him as he slammed into Dr. Kostich, the two of them tumbling to the highly polished marble floor in a confusion of dragon limbs, tail, and flailing mage legs.

“No one touches my mate,” Baltic snarled, pinning Kostich to the ground, puffing a few wisps of smoke a scant inch from Kostich’s face.

“Oooh. He’s drooling on him. That’s just completely gross,” Jim said, watching from the safety of the stairs.

“Those who live in glass houses,” I told the demon before marching over to Kostich’s head and poking at him with the chair leg. “And you owe us for this chair, too! It was an antique!” Kostich squawked something, his face beet red, his body writhing as he desperately tried to get air into his squashed lungs.

No one heard the front door open until the voice spoke.

“Are we early? Oh. Er. Hello, Dr. Kostich.” “Heya, Ash,” Jim said, hopping down the stairs to greet its demon lord. “Lemon sorbet’s not ready yet. Why don’t you come back in an hour?” “Uh…” I blinked at the people crowding the doorway. Aisling, Drake, and his two redheaded bodyguards were crammed into the door, all with the same identical expressions of surprise. “Hi.” “Hi,” Aisling said, looking at where Baltic was flattening Dr. Kostich. “Hello, Baltic. I don’t think we’ve formally met.” “Do you know who I am?” Dr. Kostich spat out, somewhat breathily, to be sure. “I lead the Committee!” I straightened up and smiled at the dragons as Aisling stepped carefully over the broken crystal goblets, Drake right behind her. “You are a little bit early, but that’s all right, although as Jim says, the sorbet isn’t ready yet. Oh, hell! Jim!” “I can have you all banished to the Akasha! I’m just that powerful!” Dr. Kostich wheezed.

I ignored him and turned to glare at the demon. “What? Who? Me? I wasn’t smelling his butt!” Jim said quickly, backing away from where Baltic lay crushing Dr. Kostich.

“You’re all going to be charged for these grievous crimes against my august person!” Baltic swung his neck around to send a little circle of fire at the demon. I caught the fire as it passed me and tossed it back to him with a frown.

“You’re supposed to be elsewhere, so that Aisling has to make Drake do what she says!” I told the demon. “You can’t be a hostage for their good behavior if you’re right here!” “That’s not my fault,” Jim said, sitting on Kostich’s foot.

“Including the demon, who has just broken my foot! Get off, you soulless beast of Abaddon!” “Aisling is the one who came early,” Jim added.

I frowned at the woman as she stopped in front of Baltic and Dr. Kostich. “You did this deliberately, didn’t you? You came here early just so you would catch me in the middle of my preparations, just so you could make me look bad. That’s really not at all nice, and after I went to the trouble of making a cheesecake!” “What sort of preparations?” Drake asked, pulling Aisling back a couple of paces when Dr. Kostich freed one hand and tried to grab her. “Were you setting traps for us? Arranging for an ambush? Another bomb?” “Lemon sorbet and canapés,” Jim said, drooling on the mage’s leg. “Ysolde let me taste-test the smoked salmon rolls, too. Speaking of which, I’d better get back to the kitchen. Brom is in there with Pavel, helping him with the cucumber-crab munchies, and the kid has a hollow leg. I bet he’s getting to lick out the dish.” “I insist that you free me!” Dr. Kostich demanded. “I will not be able to eat canapés if my ribs are crushed into my lungs!” “You’re catering the sárkány?” Aisling asked, looking almost as if she didn’t believe it.

“There, you see? Even the green mate agrees it’s ridiculous to serve food at such a time,” Baltic told me with infuriating self-righteousness.

“I am not catering anything,” I said with a frown at both of them. “I’m just making a few little nibblies to enjoy while we’re discussing this issue of whether or not they’re going to execute me.” “What?” Baltic asked, his head whipping around to me.

“I’ll tell you about it later,” I said, nodding toward the others.

“You’ll tell me about it now!” he ordered, tapping his claws in an annoyed fashion.

“Argh!” Dr. Kostich yelled.

Baltic shifted his forefoot so his claws weren’t directly on Kostich’s face. “What do you mean, whether or not they will execute you? What reason does the weyr have for wishing you dead?” “That’s it! I have reached the end of my patience. I will destroy you myself if no one is going to save me from this fat dragon!” “He is not fat,” I snapped, and thought seriously about kicking the archimage. “All dragons look like that!” “You wouldn’t say that if you were lying here in my place,” Kostich grumbled.

Jim opened its mouth to say something, but stopped when both Aisling and I glared at it.

“Er… why is Baltic lying on Dr. Kostich?” Aisling asked.

“Well, you know, I’ve heard a rumor that Ysolde kind of likes a little mano a mano action—” Jim started to say. I threw the chair leg at it, followed by a small ball of arcane magic. Midway to the demon, it turned into another banana. “Ooh, more snacks. Thanks.” “Mate, you will answer me!”

“I can’t see. Everything is going black. If you kill me, I swear I will haunt you all!” “Did you just conjure a banana at Jim?” Aisling asked, taking a step to the side to watch Jim eat the banana.

“Yes.” I sighed, gesturing toward my former employer. “He put an interdict on me. None of my magic works right.” “You shouldn’t have magic, period, and you won’t by the time I’m through with you and this obese behemoth—” “Oh, for heaven’s sake,” I said, tugging on Baltic’s tail. “Let him up. If we’re going to have explanations, we’d do better having them in a civilized manner.” “With lemon sorbet and bacon-wrapped mushroom caps,” Jim agreed.

Baltic glared down at Kostich, who was moving feebly beneath him, but shifted back into human form, dusting himself off as he got to his feet.

The two green dragon bodyguards helped Dr. Kostich up, half carrying him over to a chair where he collapsed, breathing heavily and spreading fulminating glares amongst everyone present.

Silence fell. Baltic and Drake stared at each other for a few seconds.

“Baltic,” Drake said at last when Aisling nudged him with her elbow.

“Drake Vireo,” Baltic said, acknowledging the greeting.

They stared some more, not outright growling at each other, but I could tell their hackles were up.

“Drake,” Aisling said, the word full of unspoken meaning as she nodded toward us.

He sighed. I tried not to giggle at the martyred look on his face. “You look well, Ysolde. As does your mate.” “Thank you,” I said, glancing at Baltic. He stared moodily at Drake. I pinched his arm. He continued to stare. I dug my nails into his wrist until he snapped, “For god’s sake, woman! I am the dread wyvern Baltic! I do not make polite conversation!” “You do now. Go ahead. It won’t hurt you.” He took Drake’s martyred look to a whole new level of pain. “My mate has decreed that you are welcome in our home.” “You can do better than that,” I said, pinning him back with one of my most effective mom looks.

“One day, mate, you will push me too far!” he informed me with narrowed eyes and flared nostrils.

I kissed the tip of his nose. He just looked even more outraged.

“Go on. You can do this.”

A small wisp of smoke escaped one nostril. I smiled at it; his answering scowl promised retribution at the earliest opportunity. But in the end, he managed to say to Drake, “Your appearance is much as I remember it from the last time I saw you.” “Now that didn’t hur—”

“The last time you tried to kill me, that is,” Baltic interrupted. “When you ran me through with a long sword, and tried to decapitate me with a battle-ax. I believe you also shot a few crossbow bolts into my legs in an attempt to break the bones.” Silence filled the hall again. Drake studiously picked a piece of nonexistent lint off his sleeve.

“And if I’m not mistaken, you had a dagger or two that you used on my spleen.” Aisling stared at her husband, who was now blithely examining a painting on the wall.

“Not to mention the grappling hook that you creatively used by sinking it deep into my—” “That’s your idea of a welcome, is it?” I asked, stopping Baltic before he could make me sick to my stomach.

He shrugged. “I didn’t mention the two morning stars he used to try to bash out my brains. I could have, but I knew you would prefer to keep things on a social level.” “I think that’s one for our team,” Jim said, nodding its approval.

Aisling transferred her gaze to it. “Hello! You’re my demon! You’re on our team, not theirs!” “Soldie kidnapped me. That means I’m on her team until she lets me go. Right, guys?” “Why do I suspect that the only reason you want to be on my team is because I have a kitchen full of canapés?” I asked it.

“A demon has to have priorities.”

“Jim, heel,” Aisling said wearily.

“Oh, fine!” I stopped the demon as it was about to obey. “Just go right ahead and ruin all of my plans! You aren’t supposed to be here yet. Jim is supposed to be hidden away! I try to have a nice sárkány, but no, everyone has to ruin it.” “Hello,” May said, popping up behind the two red-haired bodyguards who had taken up positions behind Drake. She slipped between them, looking around with interest. “Are we late?”