Love Me

Chapter Two

Gavin felt that familiar burning in his gut as he drove to the office. It was there almost all the time lately and he was starting to think he was getting an ulcer. It used to just happen at work; now it happened at home too.

The muscles in his neck and shoulders were like boulders and he had a constant headache. Christ. He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. This stress was killing him.

All he wanted at the end of the day was to go home, chill out, kick back, maybe eat some taco chips, drink a beer, and stare mindlessly at CSI on television while Melina gave him a nice back or shoulder rub.

Instead, he got tenser when he got home because she was so determined that he should pay attention to her. Talk about his feelings. He grimaced.

He loved Melina, honest to God he did, but he just needed a few minutes of down time, to separate from work and home. Things were insane right now.

He knew he put a lot of pressure on himself, but he was that kind of guy. He had high expectations of his entire project team, including himself, and nothing less than success was acceptable. His boss had taken a risk, letting him manage this project on his own. He’d been at Quantum for six years now, risen up through the ranks, proven himself. He wanted to take the lead on this so bad and Garth had come through for him, letting him run with it. If he crashed and burned, not only would his own head be on chopping block, but likely Garth’s too.

Two weeks ago, problems had come to light that had threatened the entire project and his gut cramped more remembering that. He had to fix things, even if it meant working all night, all by himself.

He couldn’t let Garth down. The man was his mentor and boss. He couldn’t let the team down, either, the ones who’d worked so long and hard for the last year and a half on this project.

But, he admitted, he couldn’t let himself down either. He was his hardest taskmaster, driving himself, pushing for perfection.

No wonder he was eating antacids and painkillers like they were Smarties, with shoulders of granite and a relationship that was starting to unravel.

Christ. Why couldn’t Melina understand how important this was to him? Why couldn’t she just support him? She was not a selfish person. He’d fallen in love with her because she was so caring and giving; he just couldn’t get what was going on right now. He needed another week—the project go-live date was next Monday—and things would be back to normal. She only had to hang on a little longer.

He threw himself into work once he was at the office, one meeting after another with subcommittees and stakeholders, getting updated on the status from one group, then updating the executive group at the next meeting. They had questions—they always had stupid questions—and he had to gather up every gigabyte of patience in him to not blow them off. This was the hardest part—the political stuff, keeping everyone happy.

He wanted to get out of the office on time, he really did, but the executive meeting made him want to check on a few things, just to make sure that what he was telling them was the reality, and before he knew it, it was six-thirty.

Shit. They were supposed to be at the party at seven. They’d never make it now. He grabbed his computer and briefcase out of habit, then stopped. He wouldn’t even look at them tonight, so why drag them home? He’d be back in the morning anyway. So he left them, feeling naked as he walked out of his office empty-handed.

On the way, he called Melina from his cell phone and sure as shit, she didn’t sound too happy.

“Sorry, sweet stuff,” he said. “I’m on my way. Are you ready to go?”

“Yes.”

“Can you find my jeans…my new ones? I’ll change and then we can go right away.”

When he got there she’d pulled his favorite jeans out of the closet. He dropped his suit onto the chair, stepped into jeans and T-shirt, started shifting wallet and keys and change from suit pocket to jeans while Melina waited in the living room.

She’d wrapped the housewarming present for Duncan and Kylie.

“What did we get them again?” he asked, reaching into the closet for his leather jacket.

“A set of pottery bowls,” she reminded him. “Those hand-painted ones that Kylie loves.”

“Oh yeah.” He’d been too busy to shop, but Melina had known exactly what to get. She’d wrapped it all so nice, too, with curly ribbons and pretty paper. He would have stuck it in a plastic shopping bag. He paused in front of her and kissed her softly. “Thanks for doing that.”

She gave him a small smile. “You’re busy,” she said. Yeah. She did get it. She held up a bottle of wine, also tied with a pretty silver bow. “I got this, too, for tonight.”

“Kylie said not to bring anything, beer and wine are on them.”

“I know, but I thought it would be nice.”

He smiled at her. She was always doing nice things like that. “Yeah, it is. Okay, let’s go.”

It was a big, noisy party and normally Melina liked that. She and Gavin were both party animals, something they had in common. They’d met at a party and rarely missed a chance to go out with friends, although since they’d moved in together they had slowed the pace a little. They loved being alone at home too, but they still liked hanging with friends.

Duncan and Kylie had just purchased their first home, a big old house in a neighborhood that was home to a lot of young couples, many of them with children. Melina supposed that would be next for them. They were the same age as Gavin, thirty, which was four years older than Melina. She wasn’t sure if she was ready for children, but Duncan and Kylie had been married for four years so she supposed it was time for them.

She would have loved a chance to speak to Kylie privately. Being a few years older, and a partner in an apparently successful marriage, she was pretty good at this relationship stuff and Melina respected her advice. But Kylie was busy playing hostess, showing people around the house, accepting housewarming gifts with gracious thanks and laughter.

Gavin had disappeared out onto the back deck to admire the monster grill Duncan had just bought. The two of them had just finished putting it together when guests started arriving, just in time to start cooking. Kylie had all kinds of things ready—burgers, hot dogs, chicken and ribs. Everyone had feasted on grilled meat and salads and dessert, and guests were now scattered throughout the house, talking over the blast of Maroon 5.

Melina poured herself a glass of wine and wandered into the living room. She spotted an empty spot on the couch beside Kylie’s cousin Abby and headed for it.

“Hey,” Abby said.

“Hi, Abby,” Melina said with a smile. “How are you?”

“I’m okay. You?”

Melina grimaced. She was still feeling down about how things were going with Gavin, wishing she could get him alone for a while so they could talk, but he was glued to Duncan’s side, in man heaven assembling the barbecue, then helping cook while drinking beer and laughing with his buddy. The depressing thought that Gavin would rather be with Duncan than with her flashed through her mind.

“That good, huh?” asked Abby with a little laugh. She sipped her wine. “Problems at work?”

“Nah, work is good,” Melina said.

Abby eyed her with a lifted brow.

Melina shrugged. “It’s nothing.” She’d met Abby a few times before, but they weren’t exactly friends. She seemed nice enough, but Melina didn’t need to go around crying on the shoulders of people who were practically strangers.

“Where’s Gav?” Abby asked, looking around. “You two are usually joined at the hip.”

Melina snorted but said nothing.

“Uh-oh,” Abby said. “You two fighting?”

Melina scowled. “Not exactly.”

“What is it? You two seem so ‘in love’.”

She said those two words in a slightly mocking tone, which reminded Melina that Abby’s cousin had a reputation as a bit of a player. If girls could be players. Well, why the hell couldn’t girls be players? It was better than calling her a slut. Nobody called guys who slept around sluts.

Okay, they called them man-whores. Melina actually smiled.

“I’m just feeling neglected,” she told Abby lightly. “Gavin’s been going crazy at work lately, coming home late every night, no time for us.” She sighed then gave a little laugh. “I sound like a spoiled little brat, don’t I?”

Abby eyed her. “Nah, you don’t.” She paused. “Is he really working? Or do you think something else is going on?”

“The thought crossed my mind,” Melina said, keeping her tone as light as she could despite the rock that had materialized in her gut. “But I trust Gavin. He’d never do something like that.”

To her utter mortification, her voice got shaky as she said that and those pesky damn tears surged.

“Hey,” Abby said kindly. “I’ve known Gavin for a long time. If it’s worth anything, I don’t think he’d cheat either. That’s not him.”

“I know.” Melina used her fingertips to swipe the tears away without disturbing her mascara. “It’s just…” She lifted a shoulder. “He seems to have lost interest in me. I don’t think it’s someone else—if he says he’s working, I believe him. I’m just afraid that work is an excuse.”

“Oh.”

The two women sipped their wine, and Melina forced a bright smile. “Sorry. No need to dump all over you.”

“It’s okay. I don’t mind. What makes you think he’s lost interest?”

Humiliation bubbled up in her as she recalled her failed seduction attempts, and she found herself sharing the stories with Abby, not every detail of course, but the gist of them.

“Oh, wow,” Abby said. “You’ve really been trying to get his attention.”

“Yeah,” Melina sighed. “One day I went to his office at lunch time to take him for lunch, but he was too busy to go. There wasn’t even sex involved with that one.” She sighed. “I just hate to think that when this project is done, we’re probably done, too. He won’t have a built-in excuse for not being with me.”

“Oh, no. I doubt that.”

“I don’t. And—” she sighed again, a whoosh of air that came from deep within her, “—I can’t go on like this. He doesn’t like to talk about feelings, but I need to know what’s going on.”

“Most guys don’t,” Abby said. “That’s doesn’t mean anything.”

“But sometimes you have to talk,” Melina insisted. “Don’t you think?”

“I guess. I’m probably not one to give you relationship advice.”

“I don’t know what else to do.” Melina took another sip of wine. She’d had several glasses that evening and hadn’t eaten much, her appetite squashed by depression. She was starting to feel pleasantly buzzed.

“Flirt with someone else,” Abby suggested with a devilish grin.

Melina laughed. “I couldn’t do that.”

“Why not? It’s just flirting. I’m not saying go out and have an affair. But maybe if he sees you flirting a little, jealousy might just give him a nudge. Make him realize what he’s almost losing.”

Gavin and Duncan had come in and were standing in the adjoining dining room near the food. Bowls of chips and dips were the attraction now. They stood there, talking and laughing, each with a beer in one hand and chips in the other. Gavin was so damn gorgeous, his T-shirt showing off his muscular shoulders, dark low-slung jeans hugging his tight butt, his handsome face shadowed just slightly with a day’s growth of beard. When he laughed and smiled, it just made her melt, damn him. And he hadn’t even waved at her when he’d come in from outside. One corner of her mouth turned down.

She looked around the room. Even if she wanted to flirt, there wasn’t exactly a lot to choose from. Most of the guys there were partnered up with wives or girlfriends and she wasn’t about to do that to one of them. All she needed was a reputation among Gavin’s friends as a man thief.

And the only single guys weren’t even flirt-worthy. Flirting with Chuck Bedson, with his skinny body, jeans up around his waist and premature bald spot, would make Gavin laugh as opposed to make him jealous.

“There’s not even anyone here to flirt with,” she complained, thinking that it actually didn’t sound like such a bad idea. When she and Gavin had started going out, they’d run into her old boyfriend, Steve, at a party. She’d just been talking to him, wasn’t interested in him at all any more, but Gavin had gotten bent out of shape about it and later admitted he’d been jealous. It had been kind of exciting. Maybe a little jealousy would be a little kick in the butt for him.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Abby said. “So, flirt with me.”