Many Blessings

Chapter Eleven

The worst of Mandaline’s hangover had eased by the time Grover stopped by at ten and asked her to walk out back with him. He had four oak tree saplings in the bed of his truck, along with a shovel, several bags of mulch, and a tree stake kit.

Mandaline stared, confused and wondering if maybe her hangover was worse than she’d previously estimated. “Why four trees?”

“Sherrie down at the nursery wanted you to be able to pick which one you wanted.” He smiled. “She said take whichever one we want and bring the others back when we get a chance.”

“How much do I owe you?”

He shook his head. “Not a dime. She’s donating the tree, mulch, and stake kit.”

Mandaline took a deep breath to stem the flood of tears that wanted to flow.

Grover looked at her. “You all right, sweetie?”

“Everyone’s been so nice. I just…” She took another breath and wiped at her eyes.

He gave her a hug. “It’ll be all right. You all still doing your thing tonight?”

She nodded. “Yeah. Just a small group. The regulars. Wait, how did you know?”

“Sachi told us about it. No offense, but I’m passing.” He smiled. “Not my thing, but y’all have fun.”

“Is Libbie coming tonight?”

He shrugged. “She’s not having a good day today. I think everything’s finally catching up with her. I wouldn’t count on her coming tonight. She’ll be there for the tree planting, though.”

“Lot of pain?”

“Yeah. And she’s too stubborn to go see Doc Smith.” He patted the truck bed. “So, go ahead and pick one. I’ll run the others back so it’s done.”

She shrugged. “How do I choose?”

“You could put them on the ground and see which one Pers pees on,” Sachi suggested from the back door.

Grover laughed. “I like her. She’s feisty.”

Mandaline finally picked one. Grover unloaded it and set it inside the back door while he left to return the others to the nursery.

Sachi nodded. “It’s a good tree. You did good, Charlie Brown.”

“Now we need to rob Pers of his Christmas decorations and we’re all set.”

Sachi laughed. “That’s one of the reasons I think you and I get along so well. We’re both nuts in the good way.”

Mandaline felt more than a little overwhelmed by the crowd that had gathered around the small area the county staked out for them to plant Julie’s tree. She had expected maybe a few dozen people, if that. There had to be several hundred people there already, with twenty minutes until the scheduled start time. Many of the people she knew either by name or face from coming into the store, but even more were strangers to her.

When a van from a Tampa TV station pulled up as well, Mandaline felt her heart pound. She started to lean in toward Grover, but he’d already spotted them.

“I’m on it, sugar.” He headed toward the news crew. He’d already helped her fend off a rather pesky tabloid reporter again that morning, one who’d appeared at Julie’s wake before Grover ordered him off the premises.

Sachi’s blue eyes remained unreadable behind her dark sunglasses. She slowly shook her head and tsked at Mandaline. “If you’d just let me bring my gun—”

“No guns.”

Sachi’s disappointed sigh was audible even over the mumble of the people gathering around. “You’re no fun.” But a corner of her mouth tried to twitch up in a smile.

Mandaline smiled despite herself.

As the start time drew closer, she felt something pulling at her, a different energy. She looked around, finally turning.

About thirty yards away, standing in the shade of an oak tree and leaning against the trunk, was Brad. When he saw her looking at him, he raised a hand in greeting but made no move toward her.

She didn’t see Ellis.

She raised a hand back, then pointed at the ground in front of her in invitation for him to join her there.

He smiled, but held a hand up again with obvious meaning. No thanks. I’m good.

She turned back to face the gathering. Maybe he hates me now. Maybe he thinks I’m a lush. Shame flooded her. What the hell did I say to him last night? What did I do?

She remembered dreams, and Julie. Walking or chasing her? A closet? She couldn’t remember for sure.

Then again, after what Ellis had said after dinner, the way he’d acted, if Brad couldn’t forgive her for a little imbibing, he could go fuck himself, too.

He’s here, though. You couldn’t have embarrassed yourself too badly.

She tried to ignore her memory of the accidental blow job in his attic.

Sachi leaned in. “You going to stand there all day ignoring him, or jump his ass?” she muttered low enough no one else could hear.

“Not now, Sachi.” She glanced at her friend. “And aren’t you worried about the cameras? Why won’t you put on a hat or scarf or something?”

She shrugged and straightened. “Got my shades on. This is for Julie. I’m not about to miss it.”

Grover returned, not rejoining her and Libbie and the rest of the shop’s staff who were gathered by the tree, but he stood just off to the side. He flashed her an inconspicuous okay sign.

At noon, she picked up the shovel and took a deep breath to quell her nerves. “Thank you, everyone, for coming today. In her final instructions, Julie said she didn’t want any kind of memorial or anything. This is more for us, her friends, the people who knew and loved her. Thank you to the county for allowing us to do this, and for providing the plaque that will mark her memorial tree. And a special thank-you to Sherrie over at Blake’s Nursery for donating the tree and supplies. We weren’t expecting that, but it just goes to show how far Julie’s positive energy spread throughout the community.

“Like Julie in life, this tree will be able to touch people in ways we’ll never know, her spirit able to live on through us as we keep her alive in our hearts. Those of you who knew her know she was about giving back, helping others. This tree will provide shade and enjoyment for people now and in the future. It’ll be a home to birds and squirrels, and hopefully acorns will grow new trees to keep the cycle going.

“That’s all she wanted, was for everyone to go forward and give. Not even big things. A kind word, a smile, can make someone’s day. You don’t have to be rich or well-connected to spread positive energy, love and light, and peace.”

She took a deep breath and broke ground with the shovel, passing it next to Libbie, who passed it to Sachi, and then on to another employee, until all the staff had a chance to help dig the hole. Grover stepped in then and took the shovel from her to finish the hole and make it the right size. Mandaline dropped to her knees and, with Grover’s help, set the four-foot sapling’s root ball into the hole. She dropped in a small piece of rose quartz, one of several that had been on Julie’s altar, and tucked it under the roots so it would forever be part of the tree as long as it stood.

She imagined Julie would have approved.

Ten minutes later, the tree was planted, mulched, and securely staked. She’d ignored the TV crew filming from a discreet distance as she and the rest of the staff accepted words of condolence from people who filed by. She occasionally glanced over to where Brad didn’t move from the shade of his tree. When they finally thought they could leave the gathering and return to the shop, she looked again and was disappointed to see him no longer standing there.

She tried to ignore the way her heart felt flat over that.

They reopened the store, inundated by a crowd of people who walked over from the tree planting. It left Mandaline absolutely no time for thinking about Brad or Ellis or anything else other than taking care of customers. By the time they finally caught up, it was after two o’clock and Mandaline excused herself to go upstairs to use the bathroom and grab Pers to walk him.

She opened the stairwell door, startled by the sight of Brad sitting at the top, with Pers in his lap. She pulled the stairwell door closed behind her a little harder than she meant to and hurried up the stairs. “What are you doing here? I never saw you come in.”

He gave her that bashful smile, the one that could easily part her from her panties if she gave in to it. “You were busy. Sachi grabbed me and shoved me in here and told me to wait for you.”

“How long ago was that?”

He shrugged. “A few minutes after you opened up the store again.”

Mandaline closed her eyes and fought the urge to let out a scream of frustration. That was over an hour ago. “I’m sorry. She didn’t tell me you were here.”

“I asked her not to. Please don’t be mad at her.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Because you were busy. I didn’t want to bother you.”

She sat next to him at the top of the stairs. “Where’s Ellis?”

“Home. I walked.”

“You can’t afford a taxi?”

He shrugged again. “I like walking. It’s not that far.”

“Does he know you’re here?”

He looked down at where Pers was comfortably snuggled in his lap. “Nope. I told him I was going out for the day. I’m not a kid.”

She clasped her hands together and stared at them. “I’m sorry for last night,” she softly said. “I don’t remember most of what happened when you were here. I remember you came back, but it’s all…”

“Fuzzy?”

“Yeah.” She looked up at him, into those sweet brown eyes. “Why can’t this be easy? Why can’t we just…us.”

“I thought you liked Ellis. Well, before he acted like an asshole last night.”

“I did. I do. I just…” She leaned her head against him. He draped an arm around her shoulders and it felt so good. So right. “We don’t need him,” she quietly said.

He kissed the top of her head and left his lips pressed there. “But he needs us.” The warmth of his breath felt good against her scalp. “He needs us more than he knows.”

“Last night’s sort of…fuzzy,” she admitted. “I don’t normally drink like that.”

“I know. Julie told me.”

She sighed. “Why did you come back?”

He removed his arm from around her shoulders and reached into his back pocket. He produced a folded piece of paper. When he unfolded it, she realized it was a drawing.

She shivered as she took it from him and looked at it. “When did you do this?”

“Between Thursday night and Friday morning. I brought it with me because I wanted to talk to you about it.”

She looked at it more closely. “Is that…” She looked at him. “That’s me.”

He nodded. “I don’t remember doing it. I also don’t remember doing this.” He handed her a receipt.

She frowned as she studied it. “I don’t get it.” She finally realized what it was for and didn’t know if she should feel outraged or pleased. “What?”

“Look at the time stamp.”

She found it, her heart chilling. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I did that drawing, and I walked to the convenience store and back, and I have no memory of any of it. I fell asleep on the couch in the attic and woke up there.”

“And you had a seizure yesterday morning.” She handed the receipt and drawing back to him.

“I don’t think that’s connected,” he said.

“But it could be.”

“But I don’t think it is.”

“I can do this all day, Brad.”

He sighed. “I will capitulate that the seizure might or might not be related.”

“Thank you.”

“But if it’s related, it’s only related in that I forgot to take my meds, which might be caused by whatever caused me to do this.” He held up the drawing and receipt.

“Does Ellis know about those?”

He snorted. “Hell, no.” He folded them and returned them to his pocket.

“Have you had lunch yet?”

“No.”

“Let me walk Pers and then I’ll make us some sandwiches. And I can take you home.”

“I’ll walk him for you.” He stood, Pers in one arm. He held out a hand to her and she took it, allowing him to help her up.

He stood on the second-to-the-top step, while she stood on the top step. It put them eye to eye, lip to lip.

She wanted to lean in and kiss him, but he smiled. “You have no idea how badly I’d love to put those condoms to use on you right now, but we can’t. I won’t.” He did lean in and kiss her on the tip of the nose. “And would it be okay to come back tonight for the full-moon gathering?”

“How did…oh. That’s right. Julie.”

He smiled.

She let out a little laugh and scrubbed at her face with her hands. “Yes, I’ll come back and pick you up for that.”

“I can walk.”

“Stop with that. Please. We can spend more time together if you aren’t hoofing it back and forth. It only takes a few minutes to come get you. Only one thing.”

“What?”

Before he could back away, she grabbed the front of his shirt and brushed a kiss across his lips. “My fee.”

His sweet brown eyes held her gaze. “You forgot your change.” He leaned in and kissed her, on the lips, a sweet, warm kiss that took her breath away. When he leaned back, he smiled. “I’m guessing that’s just for this afternoon’s ride and I’ll need to pay up again tonight?”

She smiled. “Twice. It’s a per-trip fee.”

Ellis didn’t know for sure where Brad went when he left that morning, although he suspected he could find him at the tree planting if he drove into town to look for him.

That Brad wouldn’t even speak to him that morning spoke volumes about how badly he’d fucked things up. In the light of day, recalling the things he’d said to Mandaline, the horrible accusations, made him feel lower than dirt.

He knew she’d be busy until after the tree planting. He didn’t want to add more stress to her morning than he probably already had by calling her.

Not that he was sure she would even answer the phone if he did call.

He suspected he wouldn’t be welcomed at the tree planting, either. He didn’t blame her in the least.

He could text his apology and ask to talk to her in person, but considering what an asshole he’d been, that didn’t feel right, either.

No, he needed to make amends, in person. As soon as possible. Even if he’d blown his chances out of the water with her, he still hoped he could salvage enough of a relationship with her that she’d still take a look at the house for Brad’s sake. There had to be a logical, scientific solution to what had happened. He refused to believe in metaphysical mumbo jumbo.

But accusing her of trying to drug him was so far out of bounds it wasn’t even in the same universe. She deserved better treatment than that, especially after she’d gone out of her way to be nice and to accommodate them.

Just because I’ve fucked up my chances with her doesn’t mean it should fuck Brad’s up. Obviously he’s the better man for her. I’m just an asshole. I deserve to be alone.

After eating lunch, Mandaline went downstairs and pulled Sachi aside. “You could have warned me he was up there.”

She grinned. “Why? It’s far more fun this way. Besides, he asked me not to. I couldn’t resist those sweet puppy dog eyes of his.”

“He does have sweet eyes, doesn’t he?”

“You should know how sweet. You’ve tasted him.” Sachi dodged her playful swat, cackling with glee as she went to help a customer.

They had enough staff in the store that they didn’t need Mandaline there. At first hesitating, she grabbed the keys to the Element and her purse. I have to drive it sometime.

Brad settled comfortably in the passenger seat. “She’s glad you’re driving it,” he said as she cranked the engine.

Mandaline’s hand faltered on the gear shift. “Really?”

“Yes.” He stared out the windshield for a moment, his head cocked. “She doesn’t blame you in the least. She says if you’d been there with her, you might just as easily have been killed.” He swallowed hard and looked down at his hands lying in his lap. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

She removed her hand from the gear shift and let the SUV sit there and idle, the air-conditioner quickly cooling the passenger compartment. “Why are you apologizing?” she softly asked.

He shrugged.

She sensed she was talking to the other Brad, the more ethereal of the two.

She reached out and touched his arm. No vision, but he looked first at her hand, then his gaze traveled up until he met hers.

“Please keep an open mind,” he said. “About Ellis. He’s hurting. Not like you are, obviously. But his wounds are all self-inflicted and really, really deep. I think you’re the person who could finally help him heal himself.”

Her heart wanted to break, for Brad, for Ellis, for herself, and most of all for Julie. “Is that Julie telling you that, or you?”

“That’s all me.” He cocked his head again, listening to a voice she couldn’t hear. “She says believe. She keeps saying that over and over again. She says it a lot.”

“I’m doing my best,” she muttered as she shifted the vehicle into reverse, “but it’s hard to do sometimes.”

She didn’t need any prompting to find her way back to Ellis and Brad’s house. Ellis’ car sat parked outside the side door. She parked alongside it and shut the engine off.

Brad reached out and touched her arm again. “Can I buy you dinner tonight, or will we have time?”

She stared into his brown eyes. The more “there” Brad was back. “I’d like that a lot. Seven?”

He smiled. “Sounds good. Please, come in for a minute.”

She wanted to say no, fuck it, that Ellis would have to come to her if he wanted to make amends.

Mandaline realized how shallow and childish that sounded, even to her pained heart. Julie wouldn’t have turned tail and run like that. She’d never turned away from the hard stuff. She’d always faced things head-on.

Maybe that’s been my problem all along, I’ve always tried to turn away from the hard work, the unpleasant decisions.

She unfastened her seat belt and grabbed her cell phone and keys.

Ellis had been working at his desk, currently shoved in a far corner of what would eventually be their dining room, when he heard the vehicle drive up. With his pulse racing, he hurried over to the living room and peeked out the blinds.

Brad was leading Mandaline up to the house.

A sudden war broke out within him. Be sitting at his desk, nonchalant and detached, or meet them in the kitchen and grovel like fuck?

At the sound of the door opening his feet made the decision for him. He raced into the kitchen just as Brad came through the door, Mandaline behind him.

He noticed how her lips tightened into a thin line when she saw him.

He didn’t blame her.

“Look,” Ellis said, “before you say anything, I’m sorry. I was way far out of line last night. I don’t know what the hell got into me, but I hope you will give me a chance to make amends and accept my apology.”

Brad actually smiled. She looked a little taken aback, but she studied him for a moment.

“I mean,” he said, trying to fill the silence, “I don’t know what happened. Yes, something happened. I’m sure given enough time we’ll figure out what, but I never should have blamed you like that. I was scared and upset and really, really fucking stupid.”

At that, she exchanged a glance with Brad before a cautious smile curled her lips. “Thank you, Ellis. I appreciate that. That’s very big of you. I’m sorry I called you an asshole.”

“No, he deserved that,” Brad joked.

Ellis smiled, relieved. “He’s right, I did deserve that.” He stepped closer. “Please don’t make Brad pay for me being an idiot.”

Her brow furrowed. “What are you talking about?”

“The house. Please, if you want me to clear out while you’re here, anything. I’ll go to a hotel for a few days if you want so you don’t have to look at me. Anything.”

Now she seemed amused. “It’s okay. I forgive you.” She reached out and poked his arm. “This time.”

He let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”

“Can he come tonight, too?” Brad asked.

“Come where?” Ellis asked.

“I asked Mandaline out to dinner before the full-moon gathering. To which I’m going,” Brad added.

She considered him. “I’m willing to give him another chance. And yes, you’re welcomed to join us tonight at the gathering.”

He felt his face heat, but he didn’t want to lose the ground he’d apparently regained. “I’d love dinner. But I’m not sure I’d fit in at…the other thing.”

“Do you like to talk to people and make friends?” she asked.

“Yes?”

She grinned. “Are you asking me or telling me?”

He laughed. “Yes.”

She shrugged. “Sachi dubbed it the coffeeshop coven group, but we have all sorts of people who come out and we really don’t ‘do’ much. We do more talking and snacking than anything. But yes, we form a ring at the end of the night and someone usually says something. But it’s not like in the movies where people go dancing around skyclad and howling at the moon. I’m sure you’ll be suitably unimpressed.” Sadness drifted across her features. “I’m sure tonight we’ll all be talking about Julie.”

He needed to nut up and make amends. The least he could do would be to stay open-minded. “Okay. Yes. If you don’t mind me being there, sure. I’d be happy to come.”

Brad grinned. “See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?”