Masked Innocence

Forty-Four

We stopped by my house on the way, Brad’s car, as always, looking ridiculous parked in my neighborhood. Seeing as it was before noon, my house was quiet, everyone still asleep, and he came inside with me.

“Why don’t you grab a few things while we are here?”

I heard his suggestion from my bedroom, and stuck my head out of the door. “Like what?”

“Something dressy. In case we go out tonight.”

I shrugged, flipping through the rack in my closest and snagging a simple black dress that would cover any fancy destination he felt the need to take me to. Or a funeral. The thought stopped me cold and I grabbed my wallet and ran out, running into him in the hall. “Brad—what about Broward’s funeral!”

He frowned down at me, taking up way too much of the skinny hallway. “What about it?”

“It’s today! At three. We have to go.” I couldn’t believe that, in the course of everything, I had forgotten about the funeral. About the fact that my boss had died. I had shoved it aside as if it could hang out in the back of my mind without proper consideration.

He shrugged. “So? We’ll skip it.”

I flinched at the suggestion. “Skip it? We can’t skip it. What will people think?”

“What people? Broward? He’s not going to care.”

I pushed him into the living room, away from my sleeping roommates, and cocked a hip, giving him my best stern look. “I’m well aware that Broward won’t notice our absence, but everyone else will. I was his intern, and you were his partner. We are expected to attend.”

He put his hands on his hips and stared down at me. “Julia, I don’t give a fuck what people think. Some people might think that it’s disrespectful for me to attend, given that I had relations with his wife. She may not want me there. And besides that, we have bigger issues going on.”

“With the whole ‘someone trying to kill me’ thing? Because you just said I was safe.” I tried to glare at him, but my smile broke through.

He kissed my head and hid his grin as he escorted me out the door. “Point made. But we’re not going. I’m sorry. Thanks for yielding to my wisdom on this.”

“Oh, I’ll find a way for you to pay me back later,” I intoned, climbing into the car as he held the door for me.

“I’m sure you will,” he said with a grin.

WE PULLED INTO the Hillsdale Mall, the current favorite of local yuppies, and Brad circled around to the Neiman’s valet.

“I can literally see a parking spot,” I pointed out as he unbuckled his seat belt and reached over to unclick mine. “Right there! Like, ten feet away.” He smiled at me, ignoring my logic, and climbed out, accepting the valet ticket from the teenager who opened his doors. I climbed out, expelling a big breath of air, irritated by the waste of money, and accepted Brad’s outstretched hand. “Look at it! Right over there. Beautiful spot,” I grumbled as we passed through the brass doors, held open by a suited Neiman’s associate. Brad ignored me, and we came to a stop at the escalators, the bulk of the store surrounding us.

“Should we go upstairs to Women’s Fashion?” he asked, returning the flirtatious smiles of the Cosmetics girls.

“No, we can just walk through to the main mall—unless you have something you wanted to look for.”

“I think I owe you a pair of shoes.”

“For what?”

“The elevator—a couple of weeks ago. You seemed quite upset about it at the time.”

“Oh.” I laughed. During a time when I was refusing to speak to him, Brad had inadvertently flooded an elevator in an attempt to foster communication. The stunt had ruined one of the few pairs of designer shoes I had actually purchased—ninety percent of my shoe wardrobe was donated by Becca—and I had dissolved in tears over the loss.

“Manolo Blahniks—if I recall?” he said, smiling down at me.

“Yes. I will allow you to replace those.” That pleased him, and he grabbed my hand, pulling me to the left, and we zigzagged through jewelry and perfume counters till we ended up at the section of my dreams, the Neiman’s shoe section. The softly lit cubbyholes showcased designer shoes as if they were Cartier watches, the attendants carried trays of champagne and there were pedestals of shoes everywhere, each more tempting than the next. It was how I imagined heaven to be.

We spent about a half hour in the section. I found the suede Manolos that had been ruined, and tried them on, holding up my foot and critiquing them. They didn’t look quite the same. Maybe it was because I was envisioning the pair I had at home, the pair I had taken the hair dryer to in an attempt to dry them out. They now sat, sad and pathetic, high in my closet, with spots marring the coloring. I frowned and looked around. Then I saw them.

True love can be described in a variety of ways. However you describe it, I was in love with those shoes from the moment I saw them. I think I gasped a little—something made Brad look up from his phone, and he followed my gaze to the simple black heels high on the pedestal. He gestured to the attendant, and she brought the pair over, pure magic in her fingers. The pair was basic and classy Christian Louboutin—red sole, high stiletto heel, peep toe with an ankle strap. Elegance in the lines, in the leather, in the details. Small silver studs accented parts of the shoe, giving a slight edge to the classic details. I sighed softly, and Brad ended his call and told them my size.

I looked at him, troubled. “I didn’t look at the price, but I can pretty much guarantee you they cost double what my Manolos did.”

“I didn’t see you orgasm over the Manolos.”

“I kind of did, before. Back when I originally purchased them. Before I knew true love.”

“I don’t care about the price.”

I wanted to argue with him, wanted to take the replacement pair of suede heels that were already on my feet, but I couldn’t resist. I wanted them too badly to let pride and—what did my mother call it?—“social graces” stand in my way.

“Okay.”

He laughed at my easy surrender, and wrapped an arm around me, kissing my neck. “You want to try them on?”

“Better, just to be safe.”

Fifteen minutes later we left Neiman’s and headed to the food court. We decided on P.F. Chang’s, and lucked out with an immediate table, though it was crammed into a tight corner. Brad studied the small table with apprehension, then sat, his large body dwarfing the minute table. Add the ridiculously large bag that Neiman’s had put my shoe box into, and we were short on foot, arm and table room. I stifled a laugh and smiled at Brad, the discomfort visible in his eyes.

“Want to wait for a bigger table?”

“No, I’ll suffer through,” he said, picking up the menu and looking it over.

We ordered, and once the waiter left I met Brad’s eyes across the table.

“Uh-oh,” he said, watching me carefully.

“What?” I asked innocently.

“That look. What is it?”

“I just have a lot to ask you—and this is the first time in a while we’ve been alone, undistracted...”

“I can think of something to distract us.” He grinned, deviously at me, a dimple showing, and reached under the table, his hand grabbing my leg.

“Stop that!” I whispered, tossing the crispy noodle I had in my hand at him.

“Fine. As much as I will regret this—what do you want to ask me?”

“I know you hit the main points this morning, but explain to me again your relationship to your family.” I stared at the menu, certain that he would be glaring at me from the other side of the table.

“You would pick a crowded restaurant to have this discussion in.”

“Skim over things. I don’t need to know where the bodies are buried.”

“Fine. My father, Dom Magiano, is the head of the family. I was groomed to take over, but early on didn’t...conform as expected.”

“It’s hard for me to imagine you conforming to anything.”

“Well, imagine me as a rebellious teenager. At seventeen, I had a big argument with my father and I moved out, lived with my aunt’s family for a few months, then found an apartment. I applied to college, and from then on was estranged from my family. Not estranged in a typical American sense—the Italian family structure will allow for some disassociation, but only within reason. I still attend family events, weddings, birthdays, as well as the major holidays. But as far as the family business goes, which is everything to my family, I have no part of it.”

“Do you like your family?”

He looked at me quizzically—and in that moment, the waiter reappeared, setting our soups and appetizer on the already crowded table. When we were alone again, I tried to rephrase the question.

“Do you respect them, enjoy their company, have fun when you are with them?”

“With my family there is always respect. To not respect is to disonore, or dishonor both yourself and the other party. But I understand what you mean, though it will take a while to answer the question. Our family, I respect. They are extremely tight-knit and extremely loyal. There is great love in our family, and we are family first, business associates second and friends third. But I do not respect what they do. I understand why they do it—the need for violence in that business—but feel that the business structure could change to reduce the violent aspects. The big argument with my father, when I was young, was over legitimizing the businesses. I feel that he could remove the ‘mob’ aspect of our holdings, while still remaining profitable. He disagrees with that transition for several reasons, many of which are valid, and some of which actually reduce violence instead of feed it. But my father’s motives are not identical to his sons’.”

“How many sons?”

“I have three siblings. Two brothers and Maria.”

“I interrupted you. Please go on.”

“I always enjoy spending time with my family—and in true Italian form, it is a large one. I have over twenty cousins, and they are as close to me as my brothers. We all grew up together, a ‘pack of wolves’ my mother called us, and we were inseparable. I was the only one who left, and while I don’t harbor anger toward any of them, there is a group of relatives who has great bitterness for me.”

“Why?”

“For my independence, my life of freedom without fear of arrest or death. My wealth, though money has never been a problem for any of them. They feel slighted—rejected—like I have been disloyal, which I understand, though I have never crossed or harmed them by my independence. There are also some of them who have a streak of mean, of evil, if you prefer to think of it that way. They enjoy the brutality of the business. Unfortunately, the business, the money, the contacts—it all equals an environment where hatred and sadism can grow and expand, like kudzu, taking over anything good. Leo is part of that group, the angry, mean ones.”

“Leo?”

“The man who came to your house.”

“To kill me.”

Darkness flickered in his eyes, and he nodded. “Yes.”

“If family is so important, so sacred, why would they not leave me alone, as a favor to you?”

“Because of business. You are not part of our family. You are an outsider, a loose end. Someone who threatens the freedom and way of life of our entire family structure. They don’t know you—they only know me. And my track record with women is...” He shrugged.

“Crappy.”

The response brought a smile to his face. “If you want to put it so eloquently. Crappy. So, they assume that what typically happens with my other relationships will happen here—that I will grow tired of you, dump you—and in response you will do everything in your power to—what was the phrase my father used?—make me bleed.”

I didn’t like the idea of his family carelessly discussing our relationship and its certain demise when they didn’t even know me. Clearly, I had already been judged and found wanting, therefore condemned to death. It felt like the fucking Middle Ages.

I slumped in my seat. “Unfortunately, I see their rationale. I wouldn’t put much stock in you keeping me happy and unscorned either.”

He laughed and grabbed my limp, depressed hand, bringing it to his lips. “Don’t worry. I have a plan that will supersede all of their rational thinking.”

“What is it?”

He started eating his soup, nonchalantly shrugging at me over the bowl. “Can’t tell you yet. But it’s a good one.”

“What if it doesn’t work—what if you can’t convince them?” A little bit of panic had entered my voice.

He met my eyes over the spoon. “I’m an attorney. Convincing people is my job.”

And, as far as I knew, he was extremely good at it. It was the only positive thought I could find, so I latched on to it with a death grip.

“Plus,” he added, watching me, “they won’t have an option. My father will know that when I speak to him.”

I DISTRACTED MYSELF with eating, and we both gorged ourselves, finishing off beef and broccoli, honey chicken and lettuce wraps by the time we left. We wandered through a few more shops, but were both dragging our feet, and we finally headed back to the red-vested valet.

“What next?” he asked, when we were back in the leather-wrapped comfort of the car.

“Home,” I mumbled, leaning back into the seat and stretching out my full stomach.

He pulled out of the mall and gunned the engine, heading for the interstate, and the car lowered itself, hugging the pavement as we flew along.

“Shit,” I said, ten minutes later, as we came in the back door.

“What?” he asked, shutting the door behind him.

“I totally forgot about the movie!” I said, disgusted with myself.

“Why don’t we watch one here instead—use the theater room?” Brad suggested, grabbing a bottled water from the fridge.

I frowned at him. “You have a theater room? Where?” I really needed to do a better job of snooping. Apparently there were entire sections of the house I had yet to explore.

He laughed, tossing me a cold bottle of water. “Yes, oh young one. Come on, I’ll show you.”

“What movies do you have?” I asked.

“You can look through them and see. If you don’t see a movie you like, we can head back out, catch a later one.”

I unscrewed the water’s cap, nodding my agreement. Two minutes later, I was standing in the theater room, mouth agape.

To say that Brad had a movie collection would be a gross understatement. Imagine an entire video store—back when those still existed. That would be close to the selection that the damn man possessed. The walls of the theater room—walls that I had dismissed in my initial glance—were spring loaded. If you pressed the edges they popped open slightly, and you could then slide them to the side, revealing floor-to-ceiling shelves, all the height of a Blu-ray disc case. I rolled my eyes, amazed at the wealth of movies in a format that was relatively new. Brad handed me a large binder that was a catalog, the movies organized by genre, with small images of the covers and brief descriptions for every film, along with a notation of where they were housed. I quickly realized it would take hours to peruse the damn thing, and instead flipped to the index, scrolling down the titles.

The first two I suggested—Bruce Almighty and Collateral—Brad rejected, but the third he agreed to, and I followed the indicated shelf/section notation and pulled out Good Will Hunting, handing it to him.

We settled in, side by side, in the love seat–style theater seating, and I tilted my head toward the wall, now closed, the cases hidden from view once again. “You know that’s OCD at its finest.”

“That’s called organization. Can you imagine trying to find a movie without a system in place?”

I squinted at him, trying to imagine the big man painstakingly organizing the thousands of movies, cataloging them in proper order. That didn’t mesh with the Brad I knew—the Brad who couldn’t sit still for five minutes without his leg jiggling, or pulling out his cell phone. “And you organized it?”

“Do you think I organized it? You know me better than that.” He turned up the volume, the previews beginning, and put his arm around me, pulling me to him. “One of the interior designers handled it all. I told her I like movies, to get me a big collection. They kind of went overboard, but I don’t mind.”

“I just can’t believe we were about to pay to watch a movie when you have so many choices here.”

He laughed, and squeezed my arm affectionately. “God, you have issues.”

I looked up, kissing him on the neck. “I can only see one issue that I have right now. One big issue.” I poked his side.

He looked wounded. “Not me!”

“Shhh—we’re missing the movie,” I whispered laughingly, and snuggled close to him, pulling a soft fleece blanket over my body. Brad pressed a button on the remote, dimming the lights, and we settled in, forgetting for a brief moment the danger hanging over my head.