Midnight's Temptation

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Phelan never considered himself the type to cuddle after sex, but then again, he’d never had Aisley in his bed before. And it was his bed.

Another first.

He rose up on an elbow and caressed the valley between her breasts and then down to her stomach. She smiled, her eyes closed.

“That tickles,” she murmured.

Phelan opened his mouth to respond when he saw the four-inch scar on her lower stomach. He slowly traced the scar, wondering why she hadn’t told him she’d had a baby. Then wondering where her child was.

“It’s numb there.”

He glanced at her to see the smile gone and her eyes still closed. She was motionless, as if she could barely get the words out. Her sorrow was obvious, and Phelan didn’t like how much that bothered him. “This is one of those secrets you didna want to tell me.”

“Few people know of it. It’s my burden to carry.”

“Was the bairn a lad or lass?”

Her head turned to him as she opened her eyes. “A girl. Remember when I told you I went back to my parents and then left?”

“Aye.”

“I was there six weeks before I learned I was pregnant. We thought it was the flu or something because nothing I ate stayed down. Mum took me to the hospital where the doctor told me I was expecting. The entire ride back home, Mum didn’t say a word.”

Phelan heard the anguish in her words, the barely leashed anger and disbelief. By the way she spoke in hard syllables, he knew the ending couldn’t be good.

“It took another two days before I could keep a piece of toast down. I didn’t see or hear my parents during that time. After the second piece of toast, I grew bold and put a wee bit of butter on it. Then I got crazy and ate some jam.”

She smiled, but it didn’t meet her eyes. Phelan wasn’t sure why, but he took her hand in his and simply held it.

“I went to tell my parents,” she said. “That’s when my father threw me out. Mum just sat there crying. She wouldn’t even look at me. I was allowed to pack a small bag. I had no money, and God forgive me, but I swiped Dad’s wallet on the way out.”

“What else were you to do?” he asked. “I’d have done the same thing, beauty. Where did you go?”

She blew out a breath. “Edinburgh. I had a schoolmate there. She had a live-in boyfriend who didn’t like me, but she gave me the couch for a few weeks. I found work. The money was pitiful, and I was always hungry. There was never any food in the flat. The few times I saved up enough to buy a decent meal, the bastard would steal the money or take the food.”

“Tell me his name.”

That brought out a slight grin. “I might take you up on that. There was no way I could afford a flat on my own, and I was wearing out my welcome. So, I waited another two weeks, keeping my money hidden in my shoes that I wore when I slept. Then I made my way to Pitlochry. I’d just arrived and was looking for somewhere to eat when I met a man who worked at the nearby distillery. I was hired as the store clerk that day. They even found me a small flat to rent.”

“Sounds like things were working out.”

“They were. It was while I was there that I felt my baby move for the first time.”

Her watery smile was radiant and made his breath catch for the love he saw in that smile and her memories. In all his travels, Phelan couldn’t say he had ever seen anything so full of love.

He didn’t trust anyone enough to get close to him to have any deep emotions. With Charon he could lower those walls he put around himself because Charon was a Warrior and had been in Deirdre’s mountain.

But never with a woman.

Until that moment he hadn’t cared to feel the dangerous emotion of love. He didn’t want to experience it, but he couldn’t deny he wouldn’t mind having someone love him. No one ever had.

Or ever would.

“I was watching the telly and drinking a glass of milk when she moved,” Aisley continued. “I worked harder to get our life set up after that. Everyone at the distillery was so nice and helpful. When my babe grew restless, I’d sing to her. She’d push her little fist or foot against my stomach, and I’d place my hand atop it.”

Phelan swallowed. He was afraid to move, afraid to speak lest he break the spell and Aisley stopped talking. He wanted, needed to hear more, to see that other side so many took for granted.

“For months my life kept improving. I was making a fresh start. The past was far behind me. I managed to pick up an extra shift for more money one Saturday. It was late, and the tourist crowd was all but done for the day. A couple came in and asked for a specialty blend that was kept below the store. My ankles had been swollen for weeks, and my belly was so huge I couldn’t see the lower half of my body.”

Phelan closed his eyes, no longer wanting to hear any more.

“I’d walked those stairs many times,” Aisley said. “I took them slowly down and found the bottle. I was halfway back up when my foot slipped or I didn’t quite place it on the step properly. I don’t remember falling. I remember the pain that exploded in my body. Then everything went black.”

He looked at her to see her eyes on the ceiling. Her body was stiff, her words barely above a whisper.

“Apparently the fall triggered labor. For six hours I was in labor before they realized my little girl had the cord wrapped around her neck twice. There was an emergency C-section. When I finally woke from the surgery the doctor was standing by my bed. He told me my baby was dying. Something about a defect with her heart. I stopped listening when I learned I was going to lose her. It didn’t matter why, only that I was.”

Phelan watched a lone tear fall from her eye to disappear in her hair. He couldn’t understand how anyone could suffer so, and yet still want to love. “You doona have to tell the rest.”

“I convinced them to bring her to me,” Aisley continued as if she hadn’t heard him. “I held her in my arms and told her all the things I’d planned to tell her while she was growing up. She looked up at me with those pale brown eyes as she gripped my finger in her little fist. Then she took a breath and was gone.”

Phelan had no words. He drew Aisley into his arms and held her. He didn’t know how long they lay there. All he knew was that it felt right, Aisley felt right.

She had revealed one of her deepest secrets. He had the feeling she had never told anyone what she just shared with him.

He swallowed as he thought of his secret. Phelan wanted to tell her, needed to tell her.

“My friends think I was stolen from my family as a lad of six. The truth is I wanted to go with Isla.”