Mistletoe Mommy

Chapter Eleven

Even though the local bakery was known for its delectable creations, Brenna could barely taste the chocolate cake. Her senses were too focused on Adam. She tried not to stare or show any physical awareness inappropriate to a five-year-old’s birthday party, but she questioned whether she was doing a sufficient job of hiding her interest, because Josh was openly smirking at her behind Adam’s back.

Morgan had apparently made her peace with Ellie being her birthday present, plus she’d already opened gifts from her mother and stepfather, so she wasn’t expecting anything else. She squealed with joy when Brenna produced a gift bag.

“Don’t get too excited,” Brenna preempted her. “It’s just a couple of little things I picked up for you and threw in. I don’t want you thinking there’s a pony in there.”

Morgan eyeballed the small bag and laughed. “Josh, your sister is funny.”

“Tell me about it.”

The birthday girl fished out a pink collar Brenna had picked up for Ellie and an easy-to-read guide on cat care that was also a coloring book. “Thank you, Brenna!” She hopped down from her chair to snag a hug.

Brenna squatted down to return the embrace, surprised by the sense of sweetness that overcame her. I could get used to this. When she glanced up, Adam was watching her so intently her skin burned.

“Since it’s not as much fun to do the sparklers until it gets darker,” Josh said, “I thought we could play a birthday game first.”

As he pulled a thin felt mat out of a bag, it occurred to Brenna for the first time what a good father he was going to make. The thought cheered her. She’d never quite been able to imagine herself as a mom-for years, her self-defense mechanism had been to think immediately of something else any time her mind veered toward mothers-but she found that she loved the idea of being an aunt.

Until this month she’d always known she was “an animal person” but had never suspected she might be “a kid person.” Children were too reliant on others, too fragile. She’d worry about letting one down; she’d fear looking into their small, trusting faces and seeing the vulnerable girl she’d once been.

Josh’s game turned out to be a modernized take on the classic pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey. Only in this version, where Velcro was used instead of sharp implements, the blindfolded player was trying to successfully place a soft white bone in the puppy’s waiting mouth.

Behind her, Adam said sotto voce, “No animals were harmed in the making of this game,” and Brenna giggled.

Later, as they all stood in Brenna’s front yard with sparklers, her stepbrother confronted her in a whisper. “Admit it, Natalie and I were right. See how much fun a double date can be?”

She glanced to where Adam stood with Morgan, and her heart contracted. Fun was too frivolous a word for the pull of poignant, unpredictable emotions inside her.

Trying to keep her voice lighter than she felt, she protested, “I’m admittedly out of practice, but I’m not sure you can call this a date. Too much scrutiny. I couldn’t even hold his hand without worrying about how it would affect three minors.”

“I see what you mean.” He pursed his lips thoughtfully. “You know, Natalie and I were just talking about that new animated movie coming out and how we’d feel silly going to see it without taking any kids with us. Think Adam would let us borrow his one night this week?”

All the longing she’d been trying to suppress since Adam kissed her bubbled to the surface at the thought of stealing some private time with him. They’d never been truly alone. “You are the best brother in the world.”

He slung an arm over her shoulders. “I’ve been telling you that for years.”

ADAM PARKED the car in the visitors’ lot at Kerrigan Farms, glancing appreciatively at the endless stretch of vast blue sky. “Can’t ask for a prettier Sunday afternoon than this, can you?”

“Nope,” Morgan agreed cheerfully.

“I don’t think he actually needed an answer,” Eliza said, oozing condescension. “It’s called a rhetorical question.”

Adam spun around to fix his middle child with a paternal glare. “She can answer if she wants. What’s got you in such a bad mood?”

Her only response was to glare back at him.

He was truly baffled. Everyone had seemed to have fun at Brenna’s Friday evening, and yesterday they had an innocuous combination of hiking to a nearby waterfall, shooting pool at the lodge and going to the actual pool. Where, Adam had been relieved to notice, Bobby the Punk Lifeguard had been replaced for the day by a patrician-featured woman in her mid-twenties. It had been a relaxed, enjoyable day, despite all the times he’d found himself thinking of Brenna and their upcoming date Tuesday night. He’d practically hugged Josh in gratitude when the guy had asked if he and Natalie could take the kids out for pizza and a movie.

It was irrational how much Adam looked forward to seeing her again. Could he possibly be missing a woman he’d seen only a day and a half ago? There was a slim possibility their paths would cross this evening. She’d agreed that he and the kids could stop by on their way back from the farm to visit Ellie for a few minutes, but Brenna wasn’t sure she’d be home from her appointments.

“You know where the key is,” she’d said. “Feel free to let yourself in.”

He’d thanked her, hoping he sounded gracious and completely unlike a man needy for her company. If she was home, the most he could hope for was casual conversation benign enough for young ears and, if he was lucky, a quick, hard kiss goodbye such as the one he’d stolen Friday on the pretext of having left his wallet in her house.

Seeing his own grin in the rearview mirror, Adam reflected that it was ridiculous how much the prospect of small talk and a pilfered kiss cheered him.

The four of them got out of the SUV and strolled down a shaded path to the welcome booth, where he paid the nominal entrance fee.

The woman there introduced herself as Kasey Kerrigan and handed them a map of the farm. “See these X’s? Those indicate where Ben’s set up coolers. They’re stocked with ice and bottles of water. Please, help yourself. The last thing we want is someone passing out because of sunstroke or dehydration. We do have a doctor visiting this afternoon, but I’m sure he’d rather enjoy his day off than administer emergency first aid,” she said with a smile.

“My daddy’s a doctor, too!” Morgan informed her.

“Oh? Varner…” Kasey repeated his last name as if trying to recall whether she’d heard it before. “Are you one of the new docs they’ve hired at the medical complex?”

“No, ma’am. Just here for a few weeks to enjoy Mistletoe with my kids.”

“Well, have fun!”

Adam handed the map to Geoff so the three kids could consult it together. “What do we want to do first?”

Morgan didn’t even have to think about it. “Petting zoo!”

Eliza snorted. “Petting zoos are for babies.”

“Are not! Dad-”

“Eliza, apologize to your sister.”

She did so. Resentfully.

“Maybe I can’t mandate a good mood the way I can a curfew, but I can tell you to stop inflicting your annoyance on everyone else. Understood?” When she nodded, Adam gentled his tone. “Do you want to talk about what’s wrong?”

“I just don’t feel good,” she mumbled. “Let’s go check out those animals now. Might as well get this over with.”

Adam sighed. “That’s the spirit.”

ADAM STOOD IN LINE behind an older man at a makeshift concession stand. The Varners had downed several bottles of water so far, but now Morgan was saying she could use food. And I could use a stiff drink. Today had not been an overwhelming hit. Though Morgan was having fun, Geoff didn’t seem to think that picking his own blueberries ranked up there with white-water rafting or even playing video games on his DS back at the Chattavista. Then there was Eliza.

The animals had been “smelly,” she claimed to be “dying of the heat,” and when he’d handed her a cold water to help cool off, she’d complained that it tasted funny.

Now the three children sat on a nearby bench while Adam waited to buy snacks and soft drinks. Since Morgan and Eliza had been at each other’s throats for the past couple of hours, he was relieved when a little boy about Morgan’s age wandered over to her and engaged her in a conversation about a cartoon she and Geoff sometimes watched together. She’d tried to explain some of the creatures and their origins to Adam, but he mostly remained clueless.

Now Morgan chatted happily as Adam paid the vendor. Eliza could either sulk in silence or pick a fight with her brother, but he figured Geoff could handle himself. When Adam turned, he saw that the man who’d been in front of him in line was now standing with the little boy.

The man, round but not overweight with a head of thick gray hair, nodded a greeting to Adam. “Seems like my grandson and your little girl have some common interests.”

Adam distributed drinks and soft jumbo pretzels while the two five-year-olds talked some more. Upon learning that Morgan was the same age as him, the boy got excited about the possibility of Morgan being in his kindergarten class.

“Nah, we live too far away,” Morgan said. “We’re visiting from Tennessee.”

“First time in Mistletoe?” the boy’s grandfather asked Morgan, “or do you have family in the area?”

“First time,” she said.

“Welcome to our town. I hope you’re enjoying your stay. I’m Gerald Kimborough and this is my grandson, Todd.”

Adam whipped his head around. “Dr. Gerald Kimborough, the nephrologist?”

The other man laughed. “You must either be in the medical profession yourself or you know a patient of mine.”

“Dr. Adam Varner.” He held out a hand. “Cardio. I like to stay current on other disciplines. I read that case study you had published on renal-transplantation patients. But I thought it mentioned that you were a nephrology fellow up in New England.”

“I was. My wife’s family is from Georgia, though, and our daughter settled here. I moved down to help run the new dialysis facility. Mistletoe has an active retirement community, along with a great seniors center and newly expanding medical complex. We’re building such a great reputation that some patients north of Atlanta are choosing to make the drive up here to see us, instead of going into the metro area for treatment. Drawing more doctors, too, for kidney treatment and the cardio unit.

“It’s a chance to keep doing what I do best, but in a different environment from where I was before. Plus,” he added with a fond smile at the towheaded child, “now I get to spend more time with the big guy.”

“Dad!” Eliza’s tone was so impatient that she’d obviously been waiting for a break in the conversation. “We’ve fed goats, we’ve picked berries. Can we go now?”

Anger surged through Adam that she could continue to be so ungrateful after he’d tried for days on end to spend time with them and help them have fun. He turned to her. “I know it’s hot outside, but you’re sitting in the shade and you have a cold drink. Cutting short other people’s fun because you’re bored is just selfish,” he admonished. “You had a manicure the day before yesterday, got to explore a waterfall, are going rafting tomorrow and are planning to see a movie on Tuesday, to say nothing of the big Fourth of July celebration. Not every second can be go, go, go, Eliza. You’re twelve, which is mature enough to stop acting like a spoiled brat!”

She recoiled as if he’d slapped her, her expression stricken. When tears welled up in her eyes, she mumbled an “Excuse me” and bolted for the nearby restroom. Watching her hasty exit, Adam felt like an ogre.

Dr. Kimborough cleared his throat, looking embarrassed. “Yes, well, lovely to have met you. Todd, let’s run along so the Varners can finish up their tour of the farm.”

“I’m sorry,” Adam said. “I-”

The doctor waved his hand. “Not at all. I had a teenage daughter once myself. Gets easier after their twenty-first birthday,” he whispered conspiratorially.

How lovely, Adam thought. Now he had something to look forward to-nine more years of hell. Of course, in nine years, Morgan would be a teenager. He groaned.

Once the Kimboroughs had departed, Geoff stood. “Way to go, Dad.”

Adam squeezed his eyes shut. “Son, I could do without the sarcasm right now.”

“No, I was being sincere. Way to go, congratulations. You normally tiptoe around Eliza, letting her act however she wants. Mom would never have put up with that.”

“Oh.” He processed this. “Good to know. I guess.”

He’d never meant to give the impression that Eliza could do whatever she wanted without consequences. Although to be fair, most of her transgressions were of the mere eye-rolling kind; it wasn’t as if she’d been sneaking cigarettes outside the lodge or boosting cars on Main Street.

It was strangely bolstering that Geoff thought he was acting like a real parent now. On par with Sara. Did that mean Adam was making progress, even though one of his children was currently not speaking to him? Some parts of this parenting gig were less fun than others.

When five minutes had passed, Geoff glanced at Eliza’s untouched pretzel. “Can I have it?”

Adam answered with a quelling look. Another few minutes ticked by. “Morgan, pumpkin, would you mind going into the restroom and asking your sister if she could please join the rest of us?”

“She’s gonna yell at me,” Morgan predicted.

“If she does, I promise I will deal with that.”

Morgan disappeared into the women’s room, and a moment later returned with a subdued and tearstained older sister.

“Daddy?” Morgan ventured. “It’s okay with me if we leave now. I wanna see Ellie, anyway.”

Accepting defeat, he carried Morgan’s plastic bucket of blueberries so that she could have both hands for her drink while they walked toward the exit.

“We should give some of these berries to Brenna,” Geoff said. When Adam had noted earlier that Geoff had stopped calling her Ms. Pierce, his son had joked that it was because they were “practically co-workers” now: “I helped her prepare for taxes next quarter. Check me, I’m like an accountant.”

“That’s a nice idea,” Adam said. “And don’t forget, Lydia at the lodge said that if you bring her enough berries, she’ll make sure you guys get blueberry pancakes for breakfast tomorrow.”

Halfway to Brenna’s house, Adam realized Eliza hadn’t said a word the entire time. His first assumption was that she was giving him the silent treatment, but when he noticed the way she’d cradled her arms against her abdomen, his conscience plagued him. She had complained she wasn’t feeling well, but it had been a nonspecific gripe on the heels of him asking about her ornery mood, so he hadn’t lent it much credence.

As they drove down Brenna’s street, Morgan remarked, “No car in the driveway.”

Adam had already noticed this and was doing his level best not to broadcast his disappointment. You’ll see her Tuesday. That was only two nights from now.

He parked in the driveway and everyone hopped out. Zoe met them at the fence, wagging her tail so hard her body shook. They went inside, and Adam tried not to notice the sheer Brenna-ness of the place. The faint, lingering scent of her body lotion, a book she’d been reading left facedown on an end table. He stole a peek at the title and smiled-he enjoyed that particular series, too. Considering the slightly dusty book jacket, she’d probably started this one before her summer schedule ramped up into high gear.

Morgan ran down the hall, already talking to Ellie in that slightly higher-than-normal voice she used with animals. He resolved that he was giving the kids ten minutes, fifteen tops, before they left for Chattavista. There would be no dawdling in the hopes of catching Brenna as she came through the door.

Geoff disappeared into Brenna’s office; he hadn’t quite finished the odd jobs she’d given him the other day, and she’d told him that she’d pay him for any time he put in, whether she was here or not. Whenever he talked about doing one of the errands she’d assigned, he swelled with pride. Adam made a mental note to revisit the employment issue with Sara. He understood why she’d initially told Geoff that he couldn’t have a job on top of school, but if Geoff could keep his grades up, maybe it was time to change that.

It dawned on Adam that, in the past couple of years, he’d been far too passive. He’d felt guilty over not being there, so he defaulted to Sara’s opinion on everything as if he didn’t have a right to disagree with her. Though he wouldn’t undermine her by arguing a point in front of the kids, it was time he gave more thought to their lives and offered real input, not just financial support.

Since the television remote was on the coffee table, he flipped on the TV and went to one of those all-news channels. He wasn’t sure when exactly Eliza ducked out of the kitty den, but a bit later, Geoff and Morgan both appeared in front of him.

“I finished everything Brenna laid out for me,” Geoff said with satisfaction.

“I’m still playing with Ellie, but you said fifteen minutes,” Morgan reminded him. “It’s been fifteen.”

Already? In spite of himself, Adam’s gaze went to the window and the driveway beyond. “Where’s your sister?”

Geoff gave an exaggerated shrug, accompanied by a “women” eye roll. “Bathroom. Again.”

“Something’s wrong with her,” Morgan declared, her gamine face puckered with worry.

Adam was starting to agree. “Why don’t you guys go out in the yard and play with Zoe? I’ll take care of Eliza.”

After they’d done as suggested, he knocked lightly on the bathroom door. Unless he was mistaken, there was sniffling coming inside. “Eliza, honey? Are you okay?”

“No!” More pronounced sniffling. Then she muttered something too low to hear followed by an emphatic, “I want Mom!”

“I know you and your mother are a lot closer than you and I have been lately, but I want to change that.” He sat on the floor, feeling a bit stupid for baring his soul to a doorknob. “You can talk to me about anything, I promise.”

“Not about this!” She sounded horrified, and her voice cracked. He felt powerless with his little girl crying on the other side of a locked door. “Could you please just get Mom on the phone?”

Then it clicked. The likely reason she’d been so cranky and on the verge of tears, the way she’d been holding her stomach as if in pain. “Oh, honey. Are you-?”

“I don’t want to talk to you about it! I’d die of humiliation.”

Forget that he was specially trained in the workings of the human body; for this, a girl needed her mother. “Be right back!”

He returned to the living room and dialed Sara’s cell number, although it took him several tries to get it right. Why were his hands shaking? This was a natural biological process that all females went through. Yes, but she’s only…twelve.

How had twelve years passed already? He vividly remembered the day she was born, so much tinier than Geoff had been, how she’d seemed so fragile in Adam’s hands that he’d been scared he might hurt her. Then she’d screwed up her reddened face, opened her mouth and let loose with a yowl that had made the nurse and an exhausted Sara cringe but Adam laugh. He’d known then that something that could make such a ferocious noise wasn’t as frail as she looked.

Over the phone, his ex-wife’s recorded voice instructed him to leave a message.

“Sara? Oh, Sara, I wish you’d picked up! Look, it’s not an emergency per se-kids are fine-but call as soon as you get this, okay? Anytime day or night! Anytime.”

It wasn’t until he disconnected that he realized he was panicking. He could have just told Sara what the issue was, but he was having trouble wrapping his mind around it. Preoccupied with the situation and what he should say to Eliza, he missed both the car outside and the steps on the porch. He jumped in surprise when the front door swung open and Brenna entered the living room.

“Oh, thank God, a woman!” He darted forward and took hold of her hand.

Her eyebrows shot up. “Well, you get points for enthusiasm. Although you might want to practice being more discerning than that.”

“We’re having a crisis.” He dropped her hand, abashed. What had he been planning to do, drag her bodily down the hall and dump everything in her lap? “A, erm, female crisis.” He sounded more like a socially awkward seventh grader than a medical professional.

He tried again. “Apparently Eliza is…she’s started-”

“Oh!” Brenna clucked her tongue. “Poor baby. You want me to go talk to her?”

“Please.” He felt almost light-headed with relief.

Sitting on the couch, he listened as Brenna approached the closed door. Please don’t push her away, he silently advised Eliza. He knew she’d rather have Sara right now, understandably so, but he hoped that his daughter wouldn’t distance herself from others at her own expense.

After a moment, the door opened, and he heard the soft background murmur of female voices. And a few seconds later, Brenna returned, palming her keys.

“Eliza and I are going for a little shopping excursion. I can take her back to the lodge when we’re finished. Why don’t we just meet you there?”

“I can’t thank you enough.”

She flashed him a cheeky smile. “You can try. Tuesday night.”