Mistwalker

NINETEEN Grey

When the Big Dipper is upside down, it will rain for three days.

My father believed that—he, long dead now. My mother didn’t; she, too, molders in the earth. Every home I ever knew is ashes. Every street I ever walked, paved over. No one I knew by name, who could greet me with mine, remains aboveground.

The stars are all turned, and it hasn’t stopped raining since Willa left. Cold, ice rain that makes me glad I only imagine my body. I think I save myself from the worst of mundane realities. I feel cold, but I don’t go numb with it. I feel heat, but I never sweat.

Because I’m dead. A remnant. A revenant.

She’s not thinking of me.

I’ll never be free.