He grabbed me behind the knees, swinging me into his arms as if I weighed nothing. I yelped in surprise and flung my arms around his neck as he swept down the hall to my bedroom.
Well now, this was more like it.
Josh carried me to the bed and gently laid me down atop the blankets. “If you don’t want me, Marie,” he began, stripping off his jacket, “you’d better speak up now.”
I sat up in the bed, my fingers going to his belt. “Oh, I want you. More than anything.”
His fingers tangled in my hair and he growled with need, the sound shooting desire straight to my core. Blood pulsed, thick and heavy in my veins. I loved that he was so overcome at the thought of me touching him. I loosened his belt, then tugged his pants down, then his briefs. When his cock was free, I wrapped my hands around it and sighed in pleasure.
“This is my favorite part of you,” I said, teasing.
He drew his lips back in a half snarl, half grin, pushing at my hands. “Why don’t you show it how much you like it?”
Desire pulsed through my body. My nipples ached with need, but not nearly as badly as I ached between my legs. I felt the sudden urge to slide my hand between my own legs and play with myself. But that meant I’d have to take my hands off him, and that was the last thing I wanted to do. I wanted my hands all over him. Wanted him kissing me. Touching me.
I might not have another chance to touch him after tonight. I felt like somewhere out there, an hourglass was slowly losing grain after grain of sand. Who knew how much longer I had? And I was going to let nothing pass me by this night.
Especially not Josh.
I wrapped my fingers around his length and gave him a seductive smile, then slowly licked my lips.
“Mmmhmm.” His eyes were avid as they gazed down at me.
I licked the head like I would a lollipop. A long, slow lap of my tongue, savoring every moment and drawing it out. At his tortured groan, I began to swirl my tongue around the crown. I wasn’t an expert on blow jobs, but this seemed like common sense. Take him in my hands and mouth. Drive him crazy. Simple enough.
“Suck it,” he breathed, his hand fisting in my curls. “Suck on me, Marie.”
An eager flutter in my belly, I ran my tongue along the head again, then took him deeper into my mouth. He pushed his hips even as I took him deeper, and I loved the feeling of him filling my mouth, the feeling of him butting against the back of my throat.
“Jesus, Marie. Your mouth is amazing.”
I worked him deeper, then released him to stroke the wet length again. “Do you like that?”
“Hell, yes. Do you?”
“Mmm,” I said in response and put my tongue on the head of his cock again. My fingers went to my panties, and sure enough, I was wet with need. “See how much I like it?”
His eyes glittered and his nostrils flared, as if taking in my scent. “Seems unfair for me to have all the fun,” he said and pulled away.
I whined in response, only to have him grab me by the waist. He fell onto his back, dragging me down with him. “Undress. Quick.”
“But—”
“Just do it,” he said, and playfully bit my arm.
I yelped, backing away and stripping off my clothing. He ripped off his shirt and kicked away the remainder of his clothing pooled at his feet. I tossed mine onto the floor as well. Then his hot hands were on my waist, dragging me down against him, and Josh’s mouth was on mine, kissing me wildly. I moaned when his tongue stroked into my mouth and thrust against my own. He tasted so good.
“Take my cock in your mouth, Marie,” he whispered when we broke the kiss.
That sounded good to me. I slid down his big body and shifted to the side, grasping his cock in my hand and running my lips along it.
He reached out for my thigh and tugged on it. “Give me your hips, Marie.”
I looked up from the attention I was lavishing on his cock, dazed. “What do you mean?”
He gave me a feline grin. “I want your hips. In my face. Come straddle me.”
A hot blush crept over my cheeks at the mental image. “Josh, I—”
Then he was grabbing my hips and hauling me bodily over him. I barely had time to get my balance, my knees on either side of his face and me feeling a little ridiculous. My blush was scalding my cheeks.
“Very pretty,” he said in a husky voice that sent shivers down my spine. I felt him run a finger along the seam. “Spread your legs for me, Marie.”
But spreading my legs meant that my hips would descend on his waiting face. I felt so open and exposed. So vulnerable. His hands gently held my thighs, encouraging me, and when I hesitated a moment more, he nipped at the inside of a thigh with his sharp teeth. “Open for me, Marie.”
I sank down, my entire body tense with need and a strange sense of anxiety. My hands clutched at his cock, wrapped around the thick length.
His tongue stroked through the slick folds of my sex and I jolted, my entire body fluttering. Oh, that was . . .
He did it again, and I felt the rumble of his purr under my body even as I jolted again. “You taste amazing, Marie. So sweet. I could lick you for hours.”
I’d probably turn into a helpless pile of mush if he did. I forced myself to concentrate on pleasing him instead, and took the head of his cock again. It was wet with pre-cum, and I licked it clean, pleased when he groaned in response. As I swiped at his cock with my tongue, he continued to lick my sex with long, smooth strokes of his tongue. It made me want to wriggle with ticklishness, but it wasn’t unpleasant. It wasn’t relaxing, either, though.
Then his tongue speared against my clit. I gasped, only to have my mouth suddenly full of his cock as his hips thrust forward. Distracted, I sucked him deep, working him with my tongue. He continued to flick his tongue against my clit in small, swift licks that made me want to squirm away as much as it made me want to bear down on his face. It felt . . . amazing. I whimpered in response, my mouth full of his cock, and he thrust again, raising his hips.
“Love the taste of you, Marie,” Josh whispered against my female flesh, nuzzling at me. When his tongue stroked the length of my sex again, I raised my hips, involuntarily following his tongue. He chuckled at my response, and then I felt him thrust his tongue deep into my core even as he thrust into my mouth.
My senses in overload, I worked the length of his cock with my tongue and my mouth, but the feel of his tongue thrusting deep inside me was distracting me beyond my limits, and my movements were jerky and abrupt. Josh didn’t seem to mind—when I stopped working, he would thrust his hips up a little, pushing into my mouth again, and I would start anew, sucking and licking at him. The torture of his mouth was incredibly distracting, making my entire body drawn and tense with need.
I felt his hand lift from one of my thighs, and as his tongue speared deep again, I felt his thumb graze my clit, rolling it against the pad of his finger. Oh, my God. That was . . . I rocked my hips against his face, hard, no longer caring about being shy. His purr grew louder, and I could feel it in his tongue as he stroked it inside my sex, the faintest hint of vibration deep in his throat. Stroke, vibration, thumb on my clit. Stroke, purr, thumb on my clit. I was lost in that chain, barely realizing that I wasn’t fulfilling my end of things and only licking wildly at his cock. All of my attention was on his mouth on my sex.
His thumb rubbed my clit hard, just as he stroked his tongue deep again. I gave a sharp little cry and came, the orgasm ripping through me with startling intensity. He murmured something that sounded like praise, his thumb still rubbing my clit, drawing out the crashing waves of the orgasm as I writhed over his face, lost in need.
When he stopped, I gasped for breath, only to find him sliding out from under me. His hands grabbed my hips, his movements almost rough, and hauled them into the air, my cheek pressed to the bed as I lay on my stomach. I felt him raise up behind me, felt the hard probe of his cock against my sex.
He thrust in a finger, and I bucked my hips. It felt tight but so good. He hissed in response. “So wet.” He pushed again, and it felt . . . thicker. Two fingers. Then he scissored his fingers inside me, and I gasped at the sensation. “Are you ready, Marie?”
I nodded, feeling tension building in my body all over again. I wanted another orgasm; needed more from him.
He gripped my hips and I felt him nudge at my entrance—and this time he pushed in, and it was big and hot. I bit my lip as he pushed in, inch by inch. It felt deep and thick, and like he was stretching me. Delicious and full and intense.
When he stopped moving, he stroked my buttock and thigh. “Am I hurting you?”
I gave a tentative wiggle, more of a tease than anything. I felt his big body over mine, his knees up against my spread ones. His cock was buried deep inside me. “It feels amazing.”
“Good,” Josh gritted, and then he thrust.
I gasped again. That was . . . incredible. “Keep going!”
He pushed deep and began to slowly stroke into me with quick, hard thrusts. His hips pistoned his cock into me, stroking over and over. The surge deep inside me made the tingle inside me build again, and I rocked my hips back against his next thrust, needing more force, more friction, more everything.
He groaned, his fingers digging into my backside as his thrusts became harder, rougher, less controlled. “You’re mine,” he growled, and punctuated each word with a hard drive into me. “Say it, Marie.”
“Yours,” I breathed, and was rewarded with another hard stroke. His touch was branding me. Owning me. And right now, I wanted to be owned. More than anything else, I wanted to be his. “All yours.”
Josh gave a feral snarl and his fingers dug into my hips. Claws pricked at my skin and I gasped at the bite of pain.
“Josh!”
He came with a snarl, rocking into me hard, pushing my entire body forward into the mattress. His strokes slowed and he rocked into me one more time, breathing hard, and I wriggled against him again, still needing more. “Please, Josh.”
His hand moved between my legs, cupping me. Teasing me. “Say you’re mine?”
“Yours,” I sobbed, pushing against his hand with deep-seated need.
Josh dipped a finger into the curls of my sex and began to slowly rub my clit. I stiffened and came hard, again, my sex clenching, body rocking with need.
Eventually I stopped shuddering and was left gasping in the aftermath. Josh pulled me against him, tucking my head under his chin. He pressed a kiss to my hair and hugged me close, and I felt the rumble of his purr low in his throat.
I felt warm and happy at his side. Sated. Elated.
A weird emotion crept up inside me. Contentment? The aftermath of lust?
It wasn’t love . . . was it? I couldn’t afford love.
And yet, I kept feeling it.
Josh kissed my hand. “You hungry?”
I chuckled. Food was the last thing on my mind, but shifters needed to eat constantly. I’d seen how much food tiny Sara could pack away. “Not really, but I am open to suggestion.”
“I’ll finish making you the poutine,” he said, sliding off the bed and pulling me with him.
We showered first, quickly soaping each other up and chatting about small things. He was tender and affectionate, kissing me constantly and wrapping his arms around me as we washed and then toweled each other off. By the time we made it back to the kitchen, we were both worked up again.
It took a few hours to get the poutine made, but it was decent. Not quite at the level of French-Canadian cuisine, but he got major points for effort. After we ate we collapsed into bed, where Josh made slow, delicious love to me again.
And then he fell asleep. I dozed for about ten minutes, and then my brain snapped awake, just like it always did. Frustrated, I slid out of bed and wrapped my robe around my body, heading for my puzzle with a yawn. No sense in waking Josh up.
I had just put together a corner when I felt him place his hands on my shoulders. He pressed a kiss to the side of my neck. “Can’t sleep?” he asked in a drowsy voice.
“Understatement of the century,” I said with a wry half smile. “You can go back to sleep. It’s okay.”
But he only pulled a chair next to mine and looped his arm around my waist, pulling me close. His chin perched on my shoulder, and he watched me as I pulled another piece out of the pile of corner pieces and studied it.
Wrapped around me. Not chatting in my ear. Not taking over the puzzle. Just being with me. Letting me know that I wasn’t alone.
It was good that my tumbled hair hid my face, or he might have seen the tears that pricked my eyes.
“Tell me about your mother,” he said quietly. “What was she like?”
I thought for a moment, turning a puzzle piece in my hand without really seeing it. “She was exuberant. Larger than life. Everything she did was big. She laughed big, smiled big, and threw the worst temper tantrums I’ve ever seen.” I smiled fondly at the memories. “And she loved my father an insane amount. When he had to travel for business, she’d just wilt. And when he was back, she perked right up again. They were wonderful together, and so happy. And we all used to love to go on vacation, wherever we felt like driving to that weekend. I was lucky to have those times with them.”
“And she was French-Canadian?”
I nodded. “Quebecois. Her family was a very small but old one. Very Catholic and old Quebec. They didn’t speak a word of English, and my father and I didn’t speak French, so we were never super-close to them. My dad only knew a few phrases here and there. My mother, though, she was very quick to spout off in her native language. She cussed in French whenever she was mad, and I picked it up,” I said with a faint smile. “There’s nothing that feels quite so good as ranting at someone in a foreign language.”
He grinned and kissed my shoulder. “Sounds sexy when you do it.”
I shook my head. “Mine are watered down. She could cuss a blue streak.”
“How did your parents meet?”
“She rear-ended him in a parking lot and cussed him out. He thought she was fascinating. The rest was history.”
“So it runs in the family, that women are attracted to men that drive them wild? I see.” Josh gave me a teasing look. “It explains how you’ve fallen into my arms despite complaining the entire time.”
I snorted.
He reached over me to move a puzzle piece into place, and it felt easy to sit there with him. Natural. Like this was something all couples did.
He kissed my shoulder. “It must have been really hard on you and your father when she passed.”
I nodded. “It was a slow and painful death. At the end, she didn’t recognize anyone. She was lost in her own mind and tortured. The worst thing is being relieved when someone passes away because you know they’re no longer in pain.” Even after all these years, it was still hard to talk about. “I . . . thought my dad would never recover. But he’s moved on, and I’m happy for him. Even if I question his taste in women.”
Josh laughed. “Posey is cute in a garish sort of way.”
That was the right word for her. “She makes my father happy, so I like her well enough. I’m just glad he has someone this time—” I stopped when his expression grew dark.
“Marie,” he whispered huskily.
I shook my head, not wanting to talk about it. I was closer to a cure than ever before. “You’re right. I’m just being morbid. Pass me that corner piece, would you?”
• • •
When I got to work the next evening, I was exhausted but content. I’d taken some caffeine pills to give my slumping body a boost, but my mood was terrific. I still had Josh. Through everything, I had him. And I was so close to getting Andre to turn me. I’d figure out the repercussions once I had this whole mortality thing off my plate. All in due time.
“Marie, can I talk to you for a second?” Bath called from her office.
“Sure,” I said, tossing my purse down on my desk. “Let me just log in—”
“Actually, let’s talk before you log in.” Her voice was cool. “Come in here, please?”
Unease flashed through me. I glanced over at Ryder’s desk, which was empty. Her purse hung on the back of her chair, so she was here somewhere. Were we going to be asked to leave? Dread curled in my stomach.
I walked into the small office and wasn’t surprised to see Sara sitting in one of the chairs across from Bath’s desk. She looked unhappy, a drawn expression on her dainty features, her wild, newly pink hair tucked behind her ears.
Bath shut the door to the office and gestured for me to sit.
I did, feeling sick to my stomach. “Is something wrong?”
The two sisters exchanged a glance. Bathsheba cleared her throat and clasped her hands on her desk, looking solemn. “Marie, I want you to know that both Sara and I have nothing but affection for you. You were in my wedding. I count you as a friend. I really do.”
I could almost hear the “but” hovering in the air. “I count you as a friend, too.”
“This is very hard for me to say.” She paused, studied her hands, and sighed. “It’s come to our attention that someone has been using the database for their own needs during work hours. A client came to us and said that he’d gone out on a date with a woman, only to find out when she arrived that she was human.”
Damn. Damn. Damn. It was probably the vampire Josh had chased off. The horny one with an affinity for the shocker. I’d been afraid that would come back to haunt me.
Both Sara and Bathsheba were looking at me expectantly. It was on the tip of my tongue to tell them the truth. I have a fatal disease. I’m looking for someone to turn me before I die. But . . . the words wouldn’t come out of my mouth. “I . . . ” I tried to force the words out, but they wouldn’t come. “I . . . I’m sorry.”
They both looked disappointed.
Bathsheba said, “I’m sorry to say that because of how precarious things are in the Alliance right now, this makes things difficult for us. Combine that with the fact that vampires have difficulty trusting the Alliance anyhow. They think that the agency is fooling them to drum up business, and they’re not happy. A client is seeking legal action for misrepresentation.”
I was aghast. “You’re being sued by a vampire?”
“I doubt it’ll ever go to court,” Bath said, “but it will cost us an arm and a leg to settle.”
“I’m sorry that I’ve caused the agency so much trouble,” I said softly.
Sara added, “This is also making the Russells look very bad, and the were-cougars can’t afford to lose control of the Alliance.”
I shook my head, confused. “What do you mean, it’s making the Russells look bad?”
“You’re mated to Josh. I see his mark on your neck. I smell him all over your skin.”
“I’m what?” I stared at her, appalled.
“Mated.” Her brow furrowed. “He bit you on the neck, right? That’s a claim. He’s staked you out as his personal property.” Her gaze narrowed. “Has he tried to turn you?”
“No,” I said quickly. “I won’t let him.”
Both sisters exhaled sharply, looking relieved.
“Good,” Sara said. “If he turns you, all hell will break loose. We have to do damage control, spin things as positively as possible. Hopefully a few months from now, when everything has died down. Beau’s mated to a human and it hasn’t caused too many ripples. I’m sure Josh mating with one won’t be ideal, but it won’t be seen as too abusive of power.”
Mated. What the hell? Fury at Josh, who had never pointed this out to me, began to build. He’d known exactly what my plans were, and he’d snuck this up on me.
Just before nibbling on my neck, he whispered, “Marie, I can’t be with you without . . . putting some sort of claim on you.”
I hadn’t realized exactly what that had meant. Damn it.
“That doesn’t change the fact that we have to fix the situation here today,” Bathsheba said, looking upset. “And I’m sorry, Marie. I hope you don’t take this personally, but you’re fired.”
• • •
I arrived home less than an hour later, with a box containing all the stuff from my desk. I had worked at Midnight Liaisons for well over a year, and I’d enjoyed every minute of it. I’d made friends. I’d met Josh. It had given me hope when I’d had none.
And now that chapter was over. I stared at the small box of my things. Pencils, personalized Post-its, the bow from the box of chocolates that Josh had dropped off that day.
Fired.
No more access to the database. No more vampires. No way of getting in contact with Andre or any other potential dates.
I was fucked. Panic began to set in, and I headed for the medicine cabinet to dose myself with anti-anxiety medication. I’d figure a way out of this. Josh would know what to do. If he didn’t, I’d—
The phone rang.
I raced for my purse, fishing out my phone quickly. Ryder’s name was on the caller ID. My heart sank a little at the sight. “Hello?”
“Hey,” she said quietly, her voice muffled and a little hollow. “I’m in the bathroom at work. I just heard. Savannah’s sitting at your desk. What the hell happened?”
“Sara and Bath found out,” I said, curling up on the couch and digging my fingernails into my palms so I wouldn’t cry. “Some vampire I went out with sued the agency, so they fired me.”
“Oh, God. I swear I didn’t say anything.”
“I know you didn’t. The vampire ratted on me.”
“What are you going to do? Do you need money?”
I smiled despite the panic in my belly. “No, I’m okay. Thank you for offering, though. I’ll file for unemployment or something.” I’d have to file to extend my medical insurance, too. I chewed my lip, thinking hard.
“Okay. Do you want me to come over after work? Want to talk about it? We can go out for breakfast. I’ll buy.”
“It’s okay. I think I’m just going to lay down and . . . nap.” I choked on the last word, a big fat lie if there ever was one.
“Is there anything I can do?”
“Actually . . . ” I bit my lip. Was it too much to ask of our friendship? “Would you mind looking up someone in the database?”
“You want the phone number of the vampire you were dating?”
I held my breath. “Something like that.”
“I already checked his profile, and he sent your fake one a message. Said he wants to meet tonight. Has a surprise for you.”
My heart pounded. “A surprise?” Maybe he’d decided to turn me. Hope made the world suddenly bright again. “Give me his number. And thank you, Ryder.”
“Hey, what are friends for?”
• • •
Andre didn’t answer his phone. I remembered that he hated phones, though, so I left a text message stating that I wanted to meet him. And for the next six hours, I checked my phone like crazy.
Nothing.
Just when I was ready to give up hope, my phone buzzed with a text. I scrambled for it and picked it up with shaking hands.
My bodyguard will pick you up at Konstantine’s. Be there in a half hour. I think you’ll like my surprise.
Yes!
I scrambled to my bathroom and checked the makeup I’d put on in the hope of meeting with Andre. I checked my hair and tugged at the neckline of my simple black dress. I shuddered at the faintest mark of his bite still on my neck, now scabbed over. If he was turning me tonight, that meant he’d have to bite me again. A wave of revulsion crashed over me, quickly pushed away by an overwhelming sense of elation. Just one nasty bite . . . and then I had eternity.
No more worries about my health. About hallucinations. About any of it. Hope and need pushed through me, so strong that it made me stagger. Please, God, let this work. I said a quick prayer, kissed my mother’s Virgin Mary figurine for good luck, and ran to the front door. I had just enough time to make it to the restaurant. I opened the front door and—
Josh was there, his hand raised as if about to knock. He eyed my sexy dress, my high heels. A grocery bag was in his hand again. He raised his eyebrows at my outfit. “Where are you running off to?”
I reached up and gave him a hard, fierce kiss of excitement. “I’m going to see Andre. He says he has a surprise for me. I think he’s going to turn me!” I flung my arms around him in excitement. “Isn’t that great?”
He didn’t hug me back. “Marie—”
I pulled away, shaking my head. “Josh, I love you, but I don’t want to hear it right now. Not when I’m so close to reaching my goal. After this I’ll have eternity! I’ll live.”
“You love me?” He gave me an odd look.
Whoops, had I said that? I gave him another quick kiss. “I do. I love you. I’ll prove it when I get home.”
But he slowly shook his head. “You don’t get it, Marie. If he turns you . . . I won’t be here when you get back.”
“Why not?” He wasn’t going to go all principled on me now, was he? I’d thought we were past that. “Josh—”
“Marie, if you pick this vampire, you’re picking him for all eternity. Remember that I told you how seriously they take that? He’s not going to let you walk back out the door and into my arms.”
I stared at him. I hadn’t thought further than getting turned. How stupid of me. How shortsighted.
His face grew tight with anger. “Just because you choose to go after this plan of yours with blinders on doesn’t mean I will. If this guy wants to turn you, it’s because he wants an eternal companion. I don’t want that to happen. We’ll find another way.”
We? “You’re not the one dying,” I said bitterly. “I’m not about to turn back now—not when this is in my grasp. You can’t ask me to choose between you and dying, Josh. That’s unfair.”
“I’m not asking you to,” he said quietly. “I’m asking you to trust me to find another way. We’ll go to more doctors. See a specialist. Check with the Alliance doctors—”
“Don’t you think I’ve tried everything? Don’t you think I know what my options are? I don’t know how much time I have, Josh. The hallucinations, the anxiety, the insomnia—they’re worse than ever. I can’t keep doing this. You can’t ask me to keep going in the hope that something will change.”
“Just give me a week, Marie. That’s all I ask. You say you love me. Do you love me enough to trust me for another week?”
I stared at him. Another week of misery. Of sheer exhaustion. Hallucinations that told me that my brain was shutting down. Of dragging myself through every hour of every day.
Another week in Josh’s arms.
But what if Andre didn’t want to wait? What if he changed his mind?
I couldn’t risk it. I leaned in and gave Josh another kiss. “I love you,” I told him softly. “I do. But I’m not changing my mind.”
He stared at me, his face cold. “I’m not going to sit back and let you ruin your life, Marie. This is a mistake. I know things about vampires that you don’t. This one’s not a nice guy. I don’t trust that he’s going to turn you. He’s just using you as his personal soda fountain—”
I suddenly remembered that Josh had bitten me, too. “At least he didn’t put a mate mark on me and then lie to me about it.”
“Fat lot of good it’s doing,” he said angrily. “Especially since you’re determined to run headlong into a vampire’s arms.”
“How could you do that to me? Stake your claim on me like I belong to you?”
“Last night you were quick to say you were mine. Are things different now that you’ve had a chance to sleep on it?”
Tears of frustration threatened to spill from my eyes. “Please. I have a chance at more time. You can’t ask me not to take it.”
“And I won’t,” he said, moving in to brush my tears away with his fingers. Then he kissed my forehead. “Let’s talk about it.”
He pressed more light kisses to my face, my nose, my cheek. Light, loving kisses of affection. God, I loved his kisses. He moved past me and gestured at the kitchen. “You should see what I brought you.”
I nodded, pretending that I was just about to follow him. When he moved into the kitchen, still talking, I tore down the stairs and raced across the lawn to my car. I got it started in record time and was backing out of my parking space just as he appeared at the head of the stairs, looking utterly furious.
I mouthed, “Sorry” as I peeled out of the parking lot.
After tonight, I’d have all eternity to make it up to him.