Night Season

CHAPTER TWELVE

Kai leaned against the runneled bark of an oak taller than her apartment building back home, breathing through her mouth. The mage light behind her head, the one she controlled, was bobbing in agitation. Her stomach hurt, her mouth tasted like something had died inside it several days ago, and her throat burned. And the smell…

Nathan had a water bottle in one hand, their small spade in the other. His colors were calm, the usual pool of indigo and purple with silvery thoughts swimming through them. The smell didn't bother him. The flaming bodies hadn't, either. Her vomiting had, but only because it was a sign of her distress.

He handed her the bottle and knelt in the leafy loam to use the spade, digging a hole next to her vomit.

Kai rinsed and spat the first two swigs, then sipped cautiously. Humiliation tasted almost as sour as what she'd just ejected, but was it harder to get rid of. She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I should at least be cleaning up after myself."

Nathan looked over his shoulder. "Why are you apologizing?"

"I'm betting you didn't puke your guts out the first time you killed."

"No, but humans are often squeamish. It's odd, considering your innate violence." He finished covering the former contents of her stomach with dirt and stood. "You didn't kill, Kai."

"They were killed because of me. Because I played with their minds, sending them here—where they damned near killed a whole bunch of people. If they hadn't had that Fire mage with them—"

"But they did, though I'm not sure he's a mage. Have you grown omnipotent while I wasn't watching?"

"All right, all right. I couldn't have known those people would be so close to the forest. But if I hadn't been messing with the dondredii they wouldn't have burned." Trying to learn how to use her Gift. That's what she'd been doing.

"If they hadn't been here being killed, they'd have been somewhere else killing. That's what they do. They are predators. Not very efficient predators," Nathan added, moving to the stack of saddles and saddlebags at the edge of the small clearing. He slid the spade back in one of the saddlebags. "Individually, they're weak and nonsentient. In group mind they approach real sentience, but—"

"Their group mind is insane. Yeah, I noticed. I didn't do their sanity much good."

"You have much to learn. That's why you were practicing on them rather than on true sentients. Kai, will you be all right by yourself for thirty or forty minutes?"

She nodded, though part of her wanted him to define "all right." In some ways she hadn't been all right for quite awhile. "Why?"

"The people the dondredii attacked didn't wander too close to the forest. They're gated in."

"Oh. Oh, shit. Though I guess I'm glad we found them."

"I need to make sure this is the group my queen spoke of."

"Of course. Go slink around. Ah… I guess you can be sure they won't see or hear you?"

Nathan's smiles always looked freshly minted, as if he'd just discovered the expression. This one blended amusement with pleasure: she didn't need to worry; he was glad he mattered to her. "I can be sure of that."

"Should we… a couple of them are injured. I know we're not supposed to contact them, but it feels wrong to do nothing."

"They have called the Ekiba, who have healers. You will be all right here?"

Kai glanced across the small clearing where their horses were tethered. From here she couldn't see Dell. The big cat's dappled fur blended well with shadows and darkness, and it was very dark indeed beneath the trees. Nor could she hear her, but she knew what the chameleon was doing. Feeding. Quite happily, too. Squeamishness was as foreign to Dell's nature as bloodsucking was to Kai's, and yet their bond remained strong. "Dell will know if anything gets close, and we haven't seen anything here she couldn't handle."

"I didn't ask if you would be defended. I asked if you would be all right."

She met his pale gray eyes, and just like that, she was okay. Loving him was easy. Sometimes it made the other stuff easier, too. She smiled. "I will."

He came to her and kissed her lightly. "So will I, then."

Nathan faded into the forest as easily as Dell, and even more silently. Kai walked over to the horses, moving far less gracefully. Thighs, hips, butt—everything hurt. She was in good shape and knew how to ride, but she hadn't done it in years.

They had three horses—a stolid chestnut they used for a packhorse; the bay mare that Kai rode; and Nathan's mount, a rawboned gelding with a bad disposition.

"Hsst," she whispered to the roan gelding, who'd snorted at her approach and backed off, his colors flaring into an edgy, annoyed orange. "Hsst, there, you're okay." She stopped and slid into fugue—slid quick and easy, which brought a prickle of fear. She let that prickle alone. Poking at it just made it stronger.

Fugue was a strange, glassy state where words didn't belong. She'd brought intention with her, though, and after a moment dreamed her way into her affection for horses. All horses, even big, bad-tempered geldings who tried to bite her. She held out a hand, sent a puff of a pink thought-bubble at him, and popped out of fugue. "See? Not saddling you now. Just coming over to tend your feet, and you need that, hmm?"

The pink wound its way into the gelding's thoughts. His ears came forward, and he snuffled at her hand. Kai chuckled. "Love means food to you, does it, big boy? Sorry—no treats." She scratched along his ear, though, which he liked, then took out her pocketknife. It had a nail file that served well enough for a hoof pick.

She picked up his near front hoof and dug the embedded grass and dirt. The familiar chore soothed her. Nathan had to do pretty much everything for them here, and the dependence bothered her more than maybe it ought to. But at least she could do this. Grandfather had made sure she knew how to care for horses.

Most of the time these days she felt incompetent, and it was not a feeling she was used to. But so much of her life now consisted of things she wasn't used to. All-powerful queens. Traveling to another realm. Falling in love… well, no. She'd done that long before she knew what Nathan was. But being loved back, that was new.

She finished tending the gelding's hooves and stood back, her head cocked, looking for her pink thought-bubble in his colors. It had broken up, as she'd meant it to, its bits blending with the slow, simple shapes of animal thought.

Kai focused on the horse's colors until she slid into fugue again. Once there, she had trouble remembering what she'd meant to do… oh, yes. Reclaim her bits. She liked the way they looked in his dusty colors, though… No, she told herself firmly, the word itself almost enough to tilt her out of fugue.

Slowly, gently, she wanted the bits that were hers. Like wishes in a dream, the soft, pink threads unwrapped themselves from the gelding's colors and drifted toward her. They sank into her own colors and dissipated.

She blinked. Swayed. In spite of her sudden exhaustion, accomplishment thrilled through her. She'd done it. Twice now she'd been able to reclaim the thought-bubbles she sent while in fugue. If she could take back what she sent, she could be sure of not doing lasting harm while she learned how to use her Gift.

Since her life depended on that, Kai could put up with a little exhaustion.