No Place to Run

CHAPTER 33

SOPHIE never got tired of the view from Sam’s dock. She sat at the edge, dangling her feet in the water as the sun slipped lower in the sky. Her protruding belly made it difficult for her to sit too far forward, so she leaned back, bracing her palms on the sun-warmed wood, and turned her face upward.

Three weeks she’d been here with Sam. Three weeks since they’d come back from West Texas. It had taken a while for everything to sink in. She’d had plenty of time to think during those weeks. The quiet times were good for her soul, but they also gave her time to doubt.

She rubbed at a spot on her belly where she was convinced a tiny foot poked and then shifted to alleviate its discomfort. Her feet kicked up and she sent droplets skittering across the surface of the water.

“Hey, Soph.”

She glanced up, shielding her eyes with one hand, to see Sam standing behind her, hands shoved into his jeans pockets.

“Mind if I sit?”

She smiled and patted the worn wood beside her. He squatted and then maneuvered his legs over the edge of the dock. It was then she noticed he was barefooted and his jeans were rolled up over his ankles.

He didn’t say anything, but then he’d been extremely patient with her long periods of reflective silence. He seemed to understand that she was struggling to come to terms with everything that had happened.

They sat side by side, their feet making ripples in the water below. She put her palms down and curled her fingers over the edge of the dock. She tried to make her voice sound casual, like she was embarking on meaningless conversation.

“Do you ever worry about being a good parent?”

As if picking up on the worry she’d tried so hard to conceal, he turned and cocked his head, his eyes narrowing.

“All the time.”

He reached for her hand and laced their fingers together.

“I worry too,” she admitted. “So much is made of nature versus nurture, but in my case, both aren’t good options. Where does that leave me? How can I be certain I won’t become a monster like my father? I know it sounds silly, but then I remember that I shot my father in cold blood.”

He pulled her into the shelter of his arm and brushed a kiss across the side of her head.

“Have you ever considered that you’ll be ten times the mother of anyone else because of your upbringing?”

She shook her head. “I worry so much. Some days I’m convinced I’ll make sure our daughter never doubts for a minute how much I love her. Other days I worry that I’ll screw up her life forever.”

Sam chuckled. “Welcome to parenthood, honey. I don’t think there’s a parent alive who doesn’t have those same fears, no matter what their upbringing was like.”

She laid her head on his shoulder and absorbed his warmth and strength. “Think so?”

“I know so. You should talk to Ma. She swears over and over that she screwed up so many times that it’s a wonder any of us boys turned out normal. Dad argues we didn’t and that it’s all her fault.”

Sophie laughed and enjoyed the loosening in her chest. She relaxed and stared over the water, soaking up the beauty of the perfect day. The sun was beginning to set, and streaks of pink and gold painted the horizon.

“You know what I regret?”

Sam’s arm tightened around her waist. “What’s that?”

“That we never got to do all the normal things a couple does. You know. Go out on dates. See stupid movies. Go dancing. I used to dream about dancing in a crowded room at New Year’s. Sort of like a fairy tale.” She smiled as the childhood fantasy came alive in her mind. “Me and Prince Charming waltzing as confetti rains down around us, and all the noise and cheering at midnight.”

She was startled from her daydream when Sam pulled away and got to his feet. She stared up at him in surprise, wondering if she’d made him angry with her silly rambling.

But he simply stood over her and extended his hand down.

Still confused, she reached up and let him help her to her feet. Then he pulled her into his arms and pressed his cheek to hers.

His body moved slow and sensual against hers. In a loose circle, he turned them, swaying in rhythm to the wind.

She sighed and closed her eyes. God, how she loved this man.

“Marry me, Sophie,” he whispered close to her ear.

She stiffened and pulled away, shock making her mouth fall open.

He smiled gently and kissed her open mouth. “It shouldn’t shock you that I want to marry you.”

“I-I ...” She trailed off lamely and blinked furiously as tears threatened.

“Marry me,” he said again. “Say you’ll grow old with me, that you’ll have a dozen children with me. That you’ll love me every bit as much as I love you.”

“Are you sure?” she whispered.

He rested his forehead against hers and wrapped both arms around her, until she was molded tight to his body. The baby kicked as if in protest, and they both glanced down at where their daughter lay.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. I love you, Soph.”

“I love you too, Sam. So much. And yes. I’ll marry you.”

He smiled and she felt a tremble work through his body. She marveled at the fact that he seemed so happy with her response. His entire face lit up.

“Dance with me.”

She melted into his embrace as he turned them around. They danced as the last of the sun’s rays slipped over the horizon. They danced to the tune of the gentle waves lapping at the shore. They danced until the stars twinkled overhead and the moon splashed onto the surface of the water like liquid silver.