One to Keep

Chapter Seventeen

Stef’s first instinct was to find her. His second instinct was to tie her up, throw her over his shoulder, haul her ass back home, and never allow her to leave again.

That was why he was attempting to ignore his first instinct.

“You want to hand me that rope, or are you going to hang yourself with it?” Rye stared at him, his hand out.

Stef passed him the rope, but thought seriously about hanging him with it. Asshole. Rye had it all. Rye had a wife and a brother and a baby on the way. Rye never fucked things up the way Stef did. If Rye had been Jen’s lover, he wouldn’t have hesitated. Rye rarely questioned himself, and his easy confidence was pricking at Stef’s finely held temper. Still, he’d come here to look specifically for Rye.

He was restless, utterly uneasy, a need rolling in him that was going to find its way out. He’d realized he could pick a fight with Max or Zane or he could try…talking about his feelings. He just wasn’t sure where to start. “Here you go.”

Rye took the rope and started to put together the corral. He and Max were expanding their pony rides. It had been a big hit yesterday, with long lines of kids waiting to ride the gentle horses. Stef couldn’t help but think about the fact that it wouldn’t be too long before Rye’s son would be learning to ride. Rye’s son would grow up in Bliss. He would run wild in the wilderness with his brothers and sisters like Stef and Max and Rye had.

The image of his own kids running around Bliss and sleeping on the mountain made his heart feel too big for his chest. He would have told anyone who asked that he didn’t want kids, but he’d lain awake last night thinking about the fact that Max and Rye’s and Callie’s kids would be here soon. Everyone was talking about the fact that Callie was pregnant. He wanted kids. He wanted his and Jennifer’s babies to grow up with their cousins.

“Are you going to talk about it or just brood?” Rye asked as he pulled on the knot he’d tied.

Brooding hadn’t gotten him anywhere. “I’m afraid.” Rye tipped back his hat and placed one hand on his hip. “I know you are. You’ve always been afraid of this.” Stef was startled by the statement. “What does that mean? I’ve never had a real relationship until I met Jen.” Rye nodded. “That would be my point. Hell, even Max had a girlfriend or two. I’ve known you most of my life, Stef. The truth is I don’t remember much of a time before I knew you. I watched you push away most people.”

“I didn’t push away you and Max or Callie.”

“We’re safe. You needed us, and we needed you. And you made damn sure we needed you, Stef.”

Stef felt himself pull away. Without meaning to, he even took a step back. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Stef, it’s nothing to be ashamed of, but it’s become a habit with you, and it needs to stop. You buy people’s affection, at least that’s what you think you’re doing. We met during the summer. I remember it like it was yesterday. When Max, Callie, and I were going to have to go back to school, what did you do?” God, he felt like he was fucking eight years old again. Vulnerable.

Needy. Desperate to keep his newfound friends. “I asked my dad to bring in a tutor because the bus trip was so long into Del Norte.”

“Is that really why you did it?”

Stef shook his head. He remembered, too. He remembered pleading with his father. He hadn’t needed to. His dad had been more than happy to do it. His father had paid for tutors for the Bliss kids from that point on. “No. I was afraid the three of you would get to school and find other friends, and I would be out.”

“I know, brother.” Rye walked over and put a hand on his shoulder. “I know that’s why you did it. I know that’s why you built the town hall, and that’s why you give loans to anyone in town who needs one and never charge interest or even ask them to repay you.” The money didn’t bother Stef. His father had set up a trust fund Stef would never be able to get through in one lifetime. “If they can, they will. If they can’t, then I won’t miss the money.”

“Stef, you throw money around this town.” King Stefan. He could hear Jen say the words in his head.

Pathetic. He was still a little boy trying to tie people to his side.

Another voice spoke up as Max walked around the side of the trailer. “Man, you have to know that we don’t love you because you paid for our school.”

Max’s face was bunched up, his brows forming a V over concerned eyes.

“He knows,” Rye said with more confidence than Stef felt. “He just lets a lot of the past get in the way. Stef is real damn good about figuring out everyone else’s motivations. Just not so smart when it comes to his own.”

“Is that why Rach keeps calling him a dumbass?” Stef felt himself stiffen. “Your wife has very little respect for me.” Rye shook his head, a little laugh escaping his lips. “Our wife loves you very much. She just thinks you’re wrong about Jen. I remember the day she walked into town looking for you. She wanted art lessons or something.”

“She’d made a study of my work. She wanted me to mentor her.” Stef had taught her a few things, just nothing of value. He hadn’t taught her how much he loved her.

“She tracked you down to the diner.”

Max smiled at the memory, obviously caught in it. “Stella thought she’d have to toss you out. You two sat there for eight hours talking and arguing.”

He’d been in love with her about twenty minutes after meeting her. She’d been so vibrant. She’d argued with him about the importance of the Impressionists and held several wrong views of the eminent Jackson Pollock, but he’d been utterly fascinated with her, hanging on to her every word.

“And the next day, you told her politely that you didn’t teach art and holed up in your studio for three weeks,” Max said.

He’d brooded. He’d worked. He’d done just about anything to avoid that girl with the killer smile and a saucy comeback to everything he said. He’d been afraid of her then. He was terrified now. Only now, he was starting to be more afraid of being without her.

“You think you’re sending her away because you want her to have the things she needs, but, Stef, damn, you’re trying to make her grateful to you. Can’t you see this is the same thing? You think you can buy her a career and she’ll be happy and grateful, and she won’t leave you because you made it possible.” Max nodded sharply. “Rach is right. He’s a dumbass. Jen already loves him. No woman puts up with the shit he’s shoveled out if they aren’t in love.”

“He thinks she’s too young, but she isn’t. He thinks she wants some megapowerful career, but she doesn’t,” Rye said. “She wants to live here in Bliss and paint and have a happy life with the man she loves. You took me aside the day I finally got together with Rachel, and do you remember what you said to me?”

“I said she’s ready.” Stef felt his heart seize. What if she really was ready? What if he was just a dumbass who let his past hold him back? What if he chucked that past aside and went after what he wanted?

Rye and Max looked at each other, doing that weird twin thing they’d always done, as though, at times, they spoke to each other without saying a word. “She’s ready, Stef. Go get your girl,” they said in perfect harmony.

A blanket dropped over Stef’s soul, a warm, perfect feeling of complete certainty. She was his. He was hers. They didn’t have to follow anyone’s path but the one they set themselves. She wouldn’t leave. If she wanted to see the world, she would turn to him and tell him to show it to her. And he would. If she wanted to show in galleries, she would turn to him and ask him to help her. And he would.

He was her slave, and she would never leave him behind.

“I’ve got to find her.” Now that he’d made the decision, he couldn’t stand the thought of a moment going by without telling her.

Telling her? Hell, he’d probably have to beg her. Maybe if he offered to turn the trip to Paris into a honeymoon, just maybe, she wouldn’t attempt to cut off his balls with a rusty knife.

“She was with Rachel and Callie. They were heading to the diner,” Rye said.

Nope. She was with Rachel. She would definitely try to cut his balls off. He smiled at the thought. Jen was a lot like Rachel, brave and unwilling to take a bunch of crap from anyone. Except him. She’d taken his crap for a while now, and he swore he’d never give it to her again. He had other things he wanted to give.

The phone in his pocket rang. Stef reached in and pulled it out, hoping it was Jen. It wasn’t. He slid the bar to answer the phone anyway, stepping away from Max and Rye. He wouldn’t ignore this call.

“Finn, what’s up? Have you managed to get the charges dropped?” Stef wanted the answer to be yes. Before this moment, he’d been willing to let justice move slowly. Jen couldn’t start her new life until the charges against her were cleared. Now that her new life would be with him, Stef wanted that cloud out of the way. He was doing it again. He was trying to give her what she wanted, what she needed, so she would be grateful. He wasn’t going to change. He would always move heaven and earth to get her what she wanted. But from now on, he would make damn sure it really was what she wanted. “Give me some good news, man.”

“The charges are dropped.” Finn’s voice came over the phone loud and clear. “The DA filed the papers this morning. As of 8:00

a.m., your girl is free and clear.”

Stef clenched his fist in victory. Now nothing loomed over them.

They were both free and clear. “Finn, you’ve done an excellent job.

Please let your Master know just how much I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. I’ll talk to my father about transferring some of Talbot Industries’ legal work your way. We’re always getting sued for something.”

Finn laughed over the phone. “Don’t get me wrong, Mr. Talbot, I would love the work, but I didn’t really have much of a hand in this.

The police found the painting.”

“What do you mean they found the painting?” Stef stopped, his feet halting as though a wall had been thrown up in front of him. The painting was supposed to be here. Why had those Russians come to Bliss and taken Jen if they weren’t looking for the painting? “The police found the Picasso?”

“Yes, it was hidden in a vault at the gallery. I have no idea what kind of games Renard was playing, but they go deep. The police have connected him to the mob, believe it or not.” A cold feeling stole over Stef that had nothing to do with the temperature. “The Russian mob.”

“Yes, apparently Renard did odd jobs for them. The Russians have started to make a fortune selling masterpieces lost during World War II. They turn up now, and the mob is selling them on the black market for extravagant sums. Apparently Renard served as a go-between. Guess he screwed up somewhere.” Finn sounded very confident, even as Stef felt his stomach doing a triple loop dive straight to his feet. “And tell Jennifer that while going through Renard’s records, we found an order for one of her paintings. Renard was holding it for a buyer. It looks like she’s doing well. Twenty-five-thousand dollars is a lot for a new artist. Maybe she can still talk to the buyer, now that she’s out of this mess.” But she wasn’t. Oh, she wasn’t even close to being out of it. She was right in the middle, and she didn’t even know why or what they were really coming after her for, though Stef had a horrible idea.

Without pausing to say good-bye to Max and Rye, Stef took off running for the diner. He had to find her and find that painting.

Jen sniffled and dragged great breaths of air into her lungs as she sat in a booth at the diner.

“Asshole.” Rachel slapped at the table in a much-appreciated show of female solidarity. Rachel had shown up at Callie’s cabin just as Jen and Callie had gotten back from Stef’s. The women had commiserated with Jen before Rachel announced she needed breakfast.

“He’s my best friend, but I’m going with you on this one, Rach.

Asshole.” Callie’s sweet voice always sounded odd when she cursed.

“Fucking asshole.” Zane’s did not. Zane sounded perfectly comfortable calling Stef all sorts of vulgar names. His huge frame dominated the booth at Stella’s.

Jen felt stupid. She was crying in the middle of a diner. She’d managed to hold on to her self-esteem for a little while. She’d gotten to Callie’s. She’d moved her pitiful belongings into the loft, climbing up the ladder into Callie’s childhood room. There was a cot on the floor and a small dresser. She’d sat on the cot and stared out at the mountain knowing Stef was sitting in his place. Jen had sat there for an hour wondering if he even noticed she was gone.

Why did she have to love an idiot?

“It’s not working,” Zane whispered to his wife. “You said it would work. I think she’s still broken.”

“I am not broken.” Jen frowned at Zane. He sat looking so manly and hunky hot. Now he was madly in love with his wife, but he and Nate had put Callie through the ringer, too. It was just what men did.

“And you’re an asshole, too.”

Zane’s handsome face lit with surprise. He stared at Jen openmouthed before turning back to his wife. “Why am I an asshole?

I drove you to pick her up. I cleaned out the loft so she would have a place to not be homeless in.”

Jen sniffed, a nasty feeling in her gut. She didn’t particularly want to have anything to do with men right now. It didn’t matter how nice he’d been to her. “Do you have a penis?”

“Last time I checked,” Zane replied.

“Then you’re an asshole.” She couldn’t help it. She picked up her napkin as a little sob escaped. God, she ached. It was a real physical pain.

“I told you.” Rachel’s hand came out, patting Jen’s back. “Let it out, sweetie. Don’t hold back just because one of them is around.”

“One of them?” Zane asked, obviously confused at his persona-non-grata status.

Callie sighed. “Yes, baby. You have a penis. That makes you the enemy right now. Jen just broke up with the love of her life. Do you really think she wants to be comforted by you?”

“Max heard Jen had broken up with Stef. Did you see how he treated her? He tipped his hat and ran the other way,” Rachel explained as she wolfed down her pancakes. “Rye wouldn’t even get out of the truck until she’d walked on by.”

“I couldn’t leave Callie,” Zane explained. “I haven’t trained an overgrown dog to follow her around.”

Q’s head came up over the table. His tongue came out as he looked at Rachel’s plate. She patted his head to settle him back down.

“Don’t you dare,” Callie said.

Jen listened to her friends. She knew they were trying to be helpful. They were trying to be supportive, but they had families and futures. Rachel was just about to give birth, and Callie had just announced she was pregnant. Jen wasn’t anywhere close to being ready for a baby, but she wouldn’t want any baby but Stef’s. She wouldn’t have a family. She looked at big, gorgeous Zane, who worshipped the ground his wife walked on to such an extent that he was willing to share her with his best friend. Rachel had two husbands. Jen couldn’t even keep one man interested in her. Nate and Zane and Max and Rye wouldn’t let their wives out of their sight, but Stef wanted to send her to France.

She couldn’t help it. The tears started again.

Zane’s wide green eyes were huge as he stared at Jen in abject horror. “Oh, wow, just let me kill him. Would that make her stop crying? It’s killing me.”

Jen growled his way. Her friends were right. She just didn’t want to be around men right now. They all sucked. “I want to cry, asshole.

You, go away.”

Zane scooted out of the booth after kissing his wife on the forehead. He pointed toward the counter. “I’m going to be right over there, babe. Out of the line of fire.” He practically ran away.

Callie shook her head before reaching out to Jen. “He means well.”

“I know.” Everyone meant well. Stef meant well, at least he thought he did. Meaning well had broken her heart. She could still see his face as he’d worked over her the night before, still feel his arms around her. God, how was she going to get through the rest of her fucking life without him?

“Jen, are you sure about this?” Now that Zane was gone, Rachel had softened, sympathy plain on her face.

“I have to be.” Jen meant what she said. She couldn’t spend the rest of her life with a man who was waiting for her to leave. “He was sending me away. I don’t know if he meant to talk me into leaving or just flat-out shove me on a plane.”

“I know.” Callie had heard the whole story told to her in between Jen’s sobs. “But you love him. He doesn’t know what he’s doing.

Maybe if you talk to him.”

“And say what?” Jen asked. “Look, I love him. I think I’m going to love him for the rest of my life, but I kind of love me, too. If I hang around for years and hope that one day he’ll see that I’m worth the risk, I don’t know if I’ll be able to respect myself.”

“She’s right.” Rachel rubbed her hands along her lower back as she spoke. It seemed to Jen that it had been bothering her for hours.

“What’s she supposed to do? Put her life on hold because one man is a fool? Oh, I hate this.”

Jen put aside her own misery briefly. “What’s wrong?” Rachel shook her head. “Stupid Braxton-Hicks. I’ve been having them for the last couple of weeks.”

“That’s false labor,” Callie supplied. “A lot of women get it. It prepares you for real labor.”

“It prepares you to want to kill yourself.” Rachel tucked a piece of strawberry blonde hair behind her ear, a grimace of pain flashing across her face. “She’s so bright-eyed about this. I was that way, once, before I gained four hundred pounds, started having to pee every five minutes, and waddled like an overstuffed penguin. And I have three more weeks of this.”

Callie’s face lit up. “And then you’ll have a baby.”

“Yeah,” Rachel replied, her hand going to her stomach.

Stella walked up, coffee urn in hand. She was made up as usual, but there was something a tiny bit duller about her this morning. Jen could tell she’d been crying. She’d heard Sebastian’s story. Her heart had broken for Stella with each word he spoke. And she’d heard a bit of her own future in there, too. Stella always seemed so alive and happy. What heartache had she harbored? She’d never married. As long as Jen had known her, Stella hadn’t even dated. She’d built her life around this diner and Bliss and raising Stef.

Was this going to be her life? Would she throw herself into her work because she couldn’t have the man she loved? It would be ironic if she ended up with the kind of career Stef wanted for her. And empty, because he wouldn’t be there to share it.

“Do you need some coffee, hon?” Stella asked, her smile not quite reaching her eyes.

“I’ll take some. I’m the only one not on mommy restrictions.” She held her cup out.

“God, I miss coffee.” Rachel leaned over and breathed in the aroma.

“Stella, I thought you were working at the festival today? Aren’t y’all selling lunch for the snowboarding competition?” Callie asked.

Jen hadn’t thought about that. The whole place was being cleared out for the noon start of the finals of the competition. Everyone would be on the mountain watching it. Downtown would be very quiet this afternoon. It would be a good time to check out the town hall. There was a bulletin board there with job listings and places to rent.

“I just talked to Zane about that. He’s going to help out. I’m shorthanded. He’s a good man, your Zane. He’s helping out with the short-order line while Hal makes sandwiches and salads.”

“Ah, learning at the feet of the master,” Callie said with a grin.

“He’s been taking cooking lessons from Hal. Last week it was something French.”

Zane stepped in beside Stella, a plate in his hand. “Coq au vin, babe. And it was just a bit salty. I’ll get it right next time. Here’s your bacon, Rachel.”

As Zane slid the plate across the table, Callie’s face went slightly green. Her hand flew up, covering her mouth.

“Oh, I’m going to be sick.” She slid out of her side of the booth and started to sprint for the bathrooms. Zane ran after her, not bothering to stop at the ladies’ room door.

“Yep, she’s pregnant.” Rachel sighed and bit into her bacon. “The smell of bacon gets to some women. Not me. This baby boy likes meat.”

A wistful smile stole across Stella’s face. “Max and Rye were always like that. Their momma would have to fight to get them to eat a vegetable. Not Stef, though. He ate everything I put in front of him.” Jen felt her eyes tear up. At least Stella had Stef to lavish her love on. She looked up at Stella, wondering if there was still anything left besides bitterness. “Sebastian came back for you.” Stella’s shoulders squared after a moment of pure surprise.

“That’s what he said. But he’s gone through something terrible. Many people make illogical decisions when they think they’re dying.” Rachel’s head moved back and forth as though she was watching a tennis match. “Sebastian came back for Stella?”

“He loves you,” Jen said. “He knows it was a mistake to leave.”

“Oh, my god, Stella had an affair with Stef’s dad? Does Callie know? Do I know something before Callie?” Rachel asked.

“You hush,” Stella admonished. “This is very old gossip. No one would care about it. I’m surprised Sebastian even talked about it around Jen.”

“He didn’t know I was there. He was telling Stef.” Stella blanched. “He told Stef?”

“Yes,” Jen said. “He told Stef that the worst mistake he ever made was walking away from you.”

“It was.” Sebastian’s voice carried across the diner. Jen turned, and he was standing there, hat in his hand. “It was the stupidest thing I ever did because I threw away the love of my life. I thought of you every day. You were the first thing I thought of in the morning and the face I pictured in my mind before I went to sleep at night. When I was in chemo, I sat in the chair and I pretended to hold your hand. I pretended you were there. I told myself that if I lived, I would come for you. I would come into this diner and sit here until I made you understand how much I love you.”

Tears streaked down Stella’s face, but she held her head high.

“You might have pictured my face, but that isn’t the face I have now, Sebastian. I’m an old woman now. That time is long past.”

“Then I’ll start a new time,” he said, nodding resolutely. “And you aren’t old, Stella. Never. You’re still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

“I don’t know if I can forgive you,” Stella said, her hand clutching the urn like a shield.

Sebastian’s eyes studied her, and his lips curled up in a sad little smile. “Well, I’ll wait until you decide. I’ll wait a day, or a month, or a year. I’ll sit at the counter and hope you smile at me. I’ll make a life in Bliss so I can be part of your world. I’ll wait as long as it takes, and if it takes longer than this life, then you should know, Stella Benoit, that I’ll wait in the afterlife, too. I’ll wait forever.” She set the urn on the table. It clattered, utterly forgotten and useless because Stella was walking toward him.

“You better not change your mind, old man,” she said as she walked into his arms.

“Never,” he said, pulling her close. He buried his face in her hair, his arms closing around her, knitting them together.

“That was so beautiful,” Rachel said, turning to Jen. Her face was bright red, and tears poured from her eyes.

Jen felt her own tears as she put an arm around her friend and let her cry.

It had been beautiful.

“I can’t do it,” Jen whispered, more to herself than anyone else.

Rachel smiled through her tears. “Of course, you can’t.” Jen looked down, startled. “How do you know what I’m talking about?”

“I’ve been where you are, Jen. I know what you’re thinking. You can’t stand by and let him go. You have to fight. This isn’t something you just let slide. He’s your man. You fight for him. If you have even the smallest doubt in your head that this isn’t over, then you go after him with everything you have. I never thought you were going to give up.”

“Even when I ran away?” Jen asked, a light feeling stealing over her. She could still fight. If Sebastian could come to his senses, then Stef could, too. Jen just didn’t plan on letting nearly thirty years go by. His skull was going to soften up more quickly than his father’s.

“Yes,” Rachel said. “I knew you would come back. Tell me you hadn’t thought about it.”

She’d dreamed about it every night. If things hadn’t gone horribly wrong, Jen knew she’d have been home by summer. The day before she’d been arrested, she’d sat down and written a long e-mail to Callie. She hadn’t sent it, but she’d saved it. Eventually she would have sent it, and Callie would have replied, and she would have allowed herself to be “talked into” coming back. “I would have come back. I love him. I love him so much.”

“I know. It’ll work out, Jen. You’ll see.” Rachel wiped her eyes with her napkin. She turned in her seat to face the newly happy couple. “Hey, Stella, why don’t you call someone in so you can take the afternoon off?”

Stella’s face was vibrant as she faced Rachel. Sebastian’s arms were around her, and she threaded her fingers with his as though she couldn’t stand the thought of losing contact. “I have Holly. She can handle this little crowd. I’ll head out when she gets back.” Jen felt her whole body flush. “Holly’s back?” Stella nodded. “Yeah, she came in this morning. She wasn’t scheduled, but you know her, she’s always looking to take an extra shift. She has to pay that greedy ex of hers, or she never gets to see her kid.”

Rachel was already moving. “Where is she? Does she know Nate’s been looking for her?”

“No,” Stella replied. “But I sent her to the Sheriff’s Office. Maybe that’s why she’s taking so long.”

Jen scooted out of the bench, following Rachel. It would be such a huge relief to get that damn painting back. Then she could concentrate on convincing Stef. “Thanks, Stella. I’ll send her back as soon as I’m done talking to her.”

“I’m coming with you,” Rachel said, grabbing her purse. “Don’t you leave me behind. You’ll be surprised how fast I can waddle.” Jen took her hand. “No, I wouldn’t. Come on then. Let’s find that stupid painting, and then I can find Stef.” It was a short trip from the diner to the Sheriff’s Office just three buildings in between and a hop over the street. The Sheriff’s Office was housed in a small building just off Main Street. Rachel walked behind Jen, only slowing her down a bit. The air was brisk, and the snow was falling only lightly. Jen could see that the crowds had thinned out. They would be on the mountain where the day’s competition was getting started. It made the streets of Bliss nice and quiet. Only the park would be bustling at this point. The rest of Bliss was a bit of a ghost town. Jen made it to the front of the office first and pulled on the outer door. It was locked. She banged on it.

“Logan, wake up!” Jen yelled as she pounded on the door. Logan was not known for being the most dedicated deputy. He could often be found napping or reading comic books with his earbuds in.

“Logan!”

“Stop that,” Rachel said, frowning. Beside her, Q sat down and stared up at the women. “You’re going to wake the poor boy up. I know where Callie hid a key. Nate throws Max in jail often enough that she let me in on her secret.”

Rachel reached under the sign that proudly proclaimed this place to be the Bliss County Sheriff’s Office and pulled out a small magnetic box.

“Only in Bliss would someone hide the key to the Sheriff’s Office,” Jen said, shaking her head.

Rachel slipped the key into the lock and turned it. She started to open the heavy outer door that led to the swinging doors inside. She stopped suddenly. “Why was the door locked? Didn’t Stella say she sent Holly with breakfast? Logan wouldn’t lock the door after Holly.” Jen paused as she stepped inside, Rachel behind her. “I don’t know. Do you think something’s wrong?” As she got the words out of her mouth the answer became very, very apparent.

“You must to come in now, Miss Jennifer.” Alexei stood in the doorway, his bulky body blocking the entrance, a gun fisted at his side.

Jen watched in horror as he leveled the gun, aiming it straight for her head. Yep, something was very, very wrong.