Otherwise Unharmed

Chapter 9—Gentle Night

The cool breeze from the ceiling fan chilled my back, which was coated in sweat after our second session of hard fucking that night. I swallowed and tried to regain my composure as Lia’s fingernails dug into my shoulders. As she panted and her body shuddered a final time, her grip relaxed and she brought her arms up over her head, grasping the pillow above her.

“That was incredible,” she said.

I smiled a cocky half-smile and rotated my hips against her again. I couldn’t move much, or I was going to slip out of her, so I just rocked my hips a little instead of actually thrusting. I wrapped my arms underneath her shoulders and held her chest to mine as I ran my lips and tongue up her throat.

“Do you have any plans to actually sleep? Lia asked.

Bending my elbows, I slid my hands down her sides and then up her arms until my fingers could grip her wrists. I pushed them against the pillow as I pressed her firmly to the bed with the rest of my body.

“I was thinking I’d just hold you down here until I got hard again.”

“Such a romantic!” Lia snickered.

She was joking, and even though that was clear, there was something else in her eyes as they tightened just a little as she glanced to the side. She wasn’t pissed off by the comment, but didn’t all chicks want some level of romance? I had no idea how to play the role of an actual boyfriend. Was I supposed to buy some fucking flowers now?

Where was Nick when I needed him?

I loosened my grip around her wrists and dragged my fingers down the length of her arm until I reached her shoulder. I circled a spot on her skin there before leaning in to press my lips to it. I held them there for a long moment and then rolled off of her and stared up at the ceiling.

Lia angled herself to one side and looked at me. Her hand rested on my upper arm for a moment before she traced the outlines of muscles from my bicep down to my wrist. Maybe she needed romance, and maybe she didn’t, but I felt like she deserved something from me—something genuine. There were questions in her eyes, and I responded before she could ask them.

“You gave me my sanity back,” I said quietly. “Your presence, your words, your touch, and your body—they brought me back from someplace I don’t ever want to be again. The way I feel when I’m with you—like I could spend the rest of my life just looking in your eyes—it scares the shit out of me. It’s more terrifying than that place I was inside my head. The best way I can come up with to cope with that is being inside of you, because when I’m there, everything is right. It’s the way it’s supposed to be.”

Why all of that made her smile and brought tears to her eyes at the same time, I didn’t understand. She seemed more happy about what I had said than not, at least. Maybe I didn’t need to understand it—I mean, I wanted to figure her out, but what guy really knows what’s going on in a woman’s head?

“I’m glad I showed up when I did,” she finally said.

“Yeah, you wouldn’t have wanted to miss that scene.” I snorted a laugh.

“Not because of that, obviously.” Lia turned to her side and propped her head up with her hand. “I’m glad I was there in time to know what happened to you, so I could help. If I had showed up a day later…well, who knows how long it might have taken me to figure out where you were?”

I couldn’t help but wonder how everything might be different if she had arrived the day before. Maybe I wouldn’t have killed Bridgett and gone off the deep end at all, except that I still would have found out about her betrayal eventually. What would I have done then?

Probably the same.

It was all the more reason for me to get Lia out of my life, but I couldn’t bring myself to think along those lines. I was going to tell her everything, and whatever happened after that, happened. Maybe she would accept it, and maybe she wouldn’t, but I was going to do whatever I possibly could to keep her.

“What are you thinking about?” Lia asked.

I pulled myself out of my head and smiled up at her.

“I’m just glad you were there, too. I think Mark’s comment about dying from lack of sleep is total bullshit, but I definitely prefer being able to get a little shut-eye every once in a while.”

She looked at me for a minute and then leaned down to press her lips against mine. I reciprocated, reaching up to the back of her head and holding her closer so I could get my tongue in her mouth. A couple minutes of kissing, and I was ready for round three.

My hands moved over her body, gripped her tits, then continued down her stomach and to her hips. My mouth followed, and Lia’s fingers traced the outline of the muscles in my shoulder and back as I licked around her navel.

I pushed her legs apart a bit, then teased over her outer labia until she was wriggling under me. With a little more pressure, I cupped her pussy and my thumb circled her clit. Lia let out a groan, and I moved two fingers inside of her, which made her jump a bit. When I glanced up at her, the look on her face wasn’t one of pleasure, though, so I stopped.

“You okay?”

“I’m just a little sore,” Lia said with a blush. Her teeth went after her bottom lip again, so I reached up and pulled it away.

“I can stop.” I didn’t want to, but obviously I would. “Take a break for a while.”

“No, don’t stop. It’s okay.”

Some odd version of a gentleman inside me told me to stop anyway because she was just being nice and giving in to what she knew I wanted. The selfish, horny bastard inside of me had a lot more influence over my mouth, though.

“Want me to go slow?”

“Do you know how to do it that way?” Her beautiful smile teased me.

I didn’t answer. I just rolled over on top of her, holding my weight up off her skin with my legs out by her sides and one hand pressed against the mattress near her shoulder. With my free hand, I traced the backs of my fingers from her shoulder down to her wrist. I leaned down and kissed the spot right above her heart, trailed more light touches with my lips up to her neck, and then whispered against her ear.

“I will always give it to you exactly how you need it.”

With my hand against her jaw, I tilted her head back and kissed slowly down the front of her throat. I licked lightly over her nipples, kissed each of them, and then moved to the side so I could better reach her with my other hand.

I continued down her body, moving my lips gently over her pink skin. At times, I barely touched her, just grazed the fine hairs of her stomach and below. My head tilted to the side, and I continued down the inside of one of her thighs until I reached her knee. I wanted to get her off again—it was a moral imperative—but she’d already said she was sore.

An idea came to me, and I got up from the bed and extended my hand to Lia.

“Come with me.”

She nodded, wrapped her fingers in mine, and I led her into the bathroom. I turned on the shower and adjusted the temperature up high. As the water heated, I grabbed the bath towels and laid them out on the bed.

When I returned to the bathroom and checked the water, it was just a little warmer than what was usually comfortable, but exactly what I needed. I stepped in first, letting the hot water cascade over my back as I pulled Lia in after me. I kissed her as the water flowed over us, and I reached up to curl my fingers through her hair as I held her mouth to mine.

Without breaking our kiss, I skimmed my fingers down her sides and then around to her front. I brought them up to cup and lift her breasts with my thumbs flicking lightly across her nipples.

Lia moaned into my mouth, and I kissed her deeply but still slowly and softly. I explored her body with my hands, pressing my chest to hers and reveling in the sensation of her touch on my back. I wrapped my arms around her and turned her around slowly until my chest was to her back, and she was facing the stream of water.

“It’s really hot,” she said.

“Is it too much?”

“Not quite,” Lia said, “but close.”

“Trust me,” I whispered against her ear. My lips pressed to her neck, and my hands moved back to cup her breasts again. I maneuvered her a little more into the stream of water and dropped one hand down to her stomach. With circular movements, I massaged her stomach and thighs as the heat from the water penetrated her skin.

Lia leaned back against me and moaned.

“Feel good?” I asked.

“Very.”

With my hand moving between her thighs, I used one foot to tap her legs apart a little so I could reach her better. I used two fingers to rub gently over her outer lips, then pressed and moved my fingers apart. As I angled her body into the stream, the hot water began to flow right over her pussy.

“Oh, shit!”

“Too much?” I asked.

“I…I…no,” Lia stammered. “It’s…intense.”

“Exactly.”

I rubbed the outside lightly, but let the hot water do the rest of the work. Lia began to squirm against me, and her ass pressed firmly against my stiff cock. I sucked at the top of her shoulder, then kissed down her arm as she pushed back harder until I couldn’t take any more.

Running my fingers over her once more, I shut the shower off, picked Lia up, and carried her back to the bed. I placed her in the center of the towels and then crawled over the top of her, kissing her all the way. When my fingers found her entrance again, I watched her face carefully.

She tilted her head up and pressed against the towel, eyes closed.

“Not as sore?” I asked quietly.

“Much better,” she said with a nod. Her eyes opened, and she looked at me. “That felt incredible. I didn’t know if I would come just standing there like that, but it felt as good as a massage does.”

I smiled down at her, kissed her stomach, and then moved up a bit to give her nipples some attention. The cool air on her wet skin was causing them to constrict and stand up—just waiting for my mouth to warm them again.

With more moans from Lia, I ran my tongue over each nipple and then took the first one in my mouth. I sucked lightly and then ran my tongue all around the edge. My hands continued running up and down from her hips to her shoulders until Lia was writhing under me again and squeezing my forearms tightly. My fingers made their way back between her legs, smoothly parting her lips and making way for the head of my cock.

She shivered as I took my cock in my hand and ran it up and down her folds a few times before centering on her opening. I moved my hips forward extremely slowly, and I watched as her body opened to me and enveloped me, tip to shaft.

Exquisite.

I buried myself in her, held there for a long moment, and then slowly pulled completely out. Lia groaned in protest, but my cock was right back at her pussy, pushing down inside of her as slowly as the first thrust had been.

“Jesus, Evan!”

I looked up at her, and my skin warmed to see her laid out before me like that. I could see my cock sliding back out of her, watch her face tighten in protest as I slipped back out, and hear her soft moans as I filled her again.

Perfect.

Because my brain must hate me, it chose that moment to remind me that this could be it—this could be the last time I would be inside of her like this. Once morning came, and I told her everything, I had to be prepared for her to walk out on me.

This had to count. Mean something.

I tightened my ass and moved deeply into her, pulled back, and out again.

“Please, Evan!”

“Please what, baby?”

“I need you…in me…please!”

“You want my cock?”

“God, yes…”

I glided back inside of her, but only about halfway. I pulled back to just the tip and then went back in halfway again. Over and over, the top of my cock rubbing against the inside, back set of nerves connected to her clitoris. After nine strokes, I buried myself totally and Lia cried out.

“Evan! Oh my…my God…”

I pulled out, ran my hand across her stomach, and then slid back inside halfway. More short strokes—eight this time. After the eighth, I penetrated deep, pulled nearly out, and then back in deep again.

“Holy shit!”

“Hush,” I whispered against her skin as I pulled back out again.

“Evan!”

“Hmm?”

Her chest rose and fell, and her desperate eyes captured me.

“What are you doing to me?”

“Hush,” I said again. “Just feel.”

I repeated the action, seven short strokes, then three long and deep. I pulled out; I started over again. Six short, four long. I felt the muscles in my thighs tighten and my balls threaten to explode, but I refused to give in. I was going to make this one last.

It had to count.

With every movement of my hips, I thought it might be the last. Even as my cock throbbed in her body, my mind recoiled in terror at the thought. All the control I usually had in such situations just didn’t come in to play. I wasn’t the one who mastered this relationship—it was all her.

My tongue flicked over her nipple once, and Lia shuddered. I continued the pattern, quickly reaching the point when I continued with long, slow thrusts deep inside of her as Lia dug her nails in my back and started to cry out over and over again. I felt her body tighten around my cock, her legs twitch as they wrapped around my waist, and tears formed in the corners of her eyes.

Does she know? Does she think this is it, too?

Lia reached up around my neck and wrapped her arms around my head. She pulled at me until my forehead was against her shoulder, and I continued to thrust deep inside of her as sweat dripped from my forehead to her skin. I tucked my arms under her body and held her against me as I tried to hold on.

I wanted it to last. I didn’t want to come in her at all—just keep going for the rest of eternity. I couldn’t, though, not just because of the absurdity of the notion, but because she felt too damn good.

“Jesus,” I whispered against the warm skin of her neck. My mind attempted to slow the movements of my hips, but my cock wanted it all and ultimately won. I pushed against her a final time and felt my balls empty into her.

I shuddered again from my shoulders to my calves before I tightened my arms around her as much as I dared and collapsed on top of her. Lia’s legs gripped around my waist and held me inside of her as I panted hot breath on her neck. My mind swam, and I was nearly swallowed inside of the feelings of completeness, tranquility, and peace.

If I lost this in the morning, Trent and Rinaldo and Greco wouldn’t fucking matter. I’d die if she left me.

I woke sometime in the middle of the night. The streetlights were glowing around the edge of the curtains at the window, and Lia’s slow breathing was the only sound in the room.

My head was empty.

There were no memories, no thoughts of the next person I needed to stalk and kill, and no concerns about Moretti or Greco or jail—just the warmth of the body next to mine and the peace that came with it.

It just felt…good.

Maybe I didn’t deserve it. Hell, I most certainly didn’t, but I didn’t care. I wanted it. I wanted her next to me every time I woke up. I wanted to feel her warm breath on my skin and the scent of her hair in my nose. For the first time in my life, the idea of just settling down and being with someone else long-term seemed attractive.

I didn’t just want it; I needed it.

Moving slowly, I untangled myself from Lia, took a quick piss, and then went over to the window to peek out. There was a bright streetlamp just outside, which gave me a decent view of the area. Sentry duty suddenly seemed like a good plan, so I pulled my jeans on and let my Beretta sit across my lap as I watched outside and thought about the woman still sleeping in the bed.

If I had been a completely stupid person, I would have let the desire to just run off with her overwhelm me and do precisely that. However, I knew exactly where that road would lead—a life on the run. I’d spend all my time watching over my shoulder and waiting for Trent to catch up with me and haul me to federal prison for the rest of my life or for Rinaldo to offer me a more permanent form of retirement.

The strangest thing was, if I had been pressured by those two scenarios a month ago, I wouldn’t have given a shit what the consequences might have been. I would have just done whatever the fuck I wanted to do because I didn’t care what happened to me.

Sometime over the last week, Lia changed all of that.

Maybe I should have been pissed off at her for it. My simple, if dangerous, life had been turned upside down by her coming into it the way she did. No—that wasn’t fair; it wasn’t her, but how I felt about her. On the inside, she made me feel more powerful than I ever had in my life. On the outside, I knew she was a dangerous weakness.

Others would know it, too.

I couldn’t leave her alone. No matter what else happened, I had to keep her with me, both for her to be safe as well as for the more selfish reasons. As long as she was close by, I’d sleep well. If I was sleeping well, the chances of me keeping us both alive through all this were best.

This was assuming she was going to have anything to do with me at all after breakfast.

There was a very real chance she was going to take me up on my offer to get her to the airport and out of the city. It wouldn’t be the safest option for her, and I didn’t want it at all, but she might not leave me with a reasonable choice.

A few unreasonable choices—including holding her prisoner in a basement for the rest of her life just so I could sleep and be near here—crossed my mind. None of them were realistic, and some of them weren’t even plausible, but that didn’t stop them from having a little picnic inside my head.

I knew I had to come clean about all of it and just live with whatever she decided, but I didn’t like it. Keeping her in the dark and close to me sounded so much better. Maybe if I had found myself a dumb chick, it would have worked—but not with Lia. She was too smart.

Lia stirred and eventually woke up. I let her take a shower while I ran out for coffee and breakfast sandwiches from a nearby fast-food place. By the time I returned, she was dressed and sitting on the bed, combing through her wet hair.

“Fucking beautiful,” I murmured.

Lia’s eyes met mine, and she smiled slightly. I could see the tension in her back and shoulders as she sat there and waited for me to spill the beans. I debated trying to talk her into another romp beforehand, but I knew it couldn’t be any better than last night had been. Instead, I handed her an egg-and-cheese bagel, and we ate in silence. As the last of the crumbs were dusted away, I knew I had run out of time.

“What do you want to know first” I asked her, “what happened to me as a POW or what the fuck is going on now?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “Does what happened to you over there lead into what’s happening now?”

I shrugged.

“Basically,” I said. “I mean, it’s what led to everything afterwards, so yeah, I guess so.”

“Then I’ll take chronological order,” she told me.

I realized that since I had left incarceration there had been only one thought that came into my head that mattered—Lia. It was also the one thought I continued to fight against. Deep inside, it was clear to me that nothing good was going to come of this. It was dangerous for her to even be seen with me, and giving her all the information I was about to give her was only going to make that worse. On top of it all, she had seen me at the lowest point in my life.

She saw me—broken, destroyed, and being taken away in handcuffs so I couldn’t hurt myself or anyone else. I'd never be able to remove the memories from her head and make it right. She would always remember me in that state—a sociopath begging her to watch over my dog.

What was she going to do when she knew the why of it all?

Nothing in my life was going to be harder than this.