Out of Time

9

Wednesday night I waited on my bike outside Carrie’s dorm. She had to study late with some friends from chemistry, so I told her I’d pick her up at eight. After our fight last night, I wasn’t sure what to expect from her when she came outside. Would she still be mad at me, or had she really forgiven me for being an ass?

All I knew was I needed to get through the rest of the week, find out what my C.O. wanted from me, and then move on with my new life plan. I was more determined than ever to get through this year alive, get out of the Marines, and go back to college. Until Carrie, I hadn’t wanted to do that. I had been perfectly content being a Marine.

But now? I wanted more. I wanted to be more.

For her and for me.

My phone buzzed, and I looked down at it with my heart racing. Had her father finally texted me on his own? I glanced down at it, but it was from Carrie. Be down in two minutes.

Okay. I shoved the phone into my pocket.

A few minutes later, she came out of her dorm, her usual bag over her shoulder and a gorgeous smile on her face, and she looked so damn happy. So much like my Carrie that she took my fucking breath away. I had no idea what I’d done to deserve her in my life, but I’d do it again and again if it meant I got to keep her forever.

I shook my thoughts and straightened my back, waiting for her to make her way over to me. When she was within reaching distance, I snatched her up and kissed her before she could say a word. I slipped my hand into her back pocket before carefully removing it.

Then, and only then, I let myself get lost in our kiss. I needed the affirmation that she was here and mine and happy, as pathetic as that might be. I pressed my mouth to hers, urging her to open to me. And when she did, I slipped my tongue between her lips and kissed her hungrily. As if I would never get enough of her sweet taste.

And I didn’t think I ever would.

When I broke the kiss, she rested her hands on my shoulders and blinked up at me. “Wow. I should be late more often.”

“That had nothing to do with you being late.”

“Then what was it?”

“I wanted to kiss you, so I did.” I shrugged, trying to play it off as if I wasn’t going completely crazy right now. Because I abso-fuck-ing-lutely was. “Why were you late, anyway?”

“I was chatting with Marie.” She glanced up at me. “We’ve been talking, and we have a lot more in common than I thought. We’re getting coffee later this week.”

I’d told her she should try talking to Marie some more. My Ginger wasn’t the most open when it came to making friends—with reason. But Marie seemed a pretty safe bet. “That sounds fun.”

“Yeah.” She bit down on her lip. “I think she’s homesick, and sometimes I get that way too, even with my crazy parents. She doesn’t seem to have many people here, besides me. I’m lucky I have you.”

She had a knack for finding the loneliest sucker and making her feel welcome with nothing more than a smile. It was one of the things I loved most about her. “She can have me too if you want.”

She slapped my arm. “Haha, really funny.”

“What? I was just trying to be supportive.” I threw my arm around her. “But you know I’m kidding. I only have room for one college student in my life.”

“I might take her to the soup kitchen with me this weekend while you’re gone.” She stole a quick peek at me. “If you don’t mind, of course.”

“Of course not,” I said through the nervousness trying to strangle me. “But you have to leave with her, and not walk down any dark alleys.”

“I’ll leave before it’s dark, I promise.” She grabbed her helmet and tugged it on. When she was finished, I held out my hand for her bag. She handed it over and I slid it over my head, watching her the whole time.

I slipped my own helmet over my head and revved the engine, disgusted with myself. “You ready, Ginger?”

She glided on behind me and wrapped her body around mine. I’d never get sick of this feeling with her. This utter shiny happiness at her arms wrapped around me, her head on my shoulder. It never got old and I hoped it never would.

“Ready,” she called out.

When we pulled up to my apartment building, I stopped the bike and took a deep breath. I’d made a move that she may or may not appreciate, and I was about to find out.

“I’m exhausted.” She took off her helmet and started up the pathway toward the stairs. After yawning loudly, she added, “I need to do some more homework, then we’re going to bed early. I didn’t sleep well after you left last night.”

I hadn’t asked her to come home with me, and she hadn’t suggested it. It still stung that after our first fight as a couple, we’d spent the night apart. “Yeah, me either.”

“Next time, no matter the fight, we sleep together. Deal?”

“It’s a promise,” I said, leaning down to kiss her.

When she broke off the kiss, we walked hand in hand to the door. Halfway there, she looked over her shoulder, her brow furrowed. “Did you hear that?”

“Hear what?” I immediately stopped walking and pushed her behind me. I scanned the shadows for any sign of movement. “What did it sound like?”

“A footstep.” She bit down on her lip. “Is someone watching us?”

I closed my eyes and listened. There wasn’t a sound, not even a breath or a footstep. She was getting as paranoid as I was, because as far as I could tell, no one was there.

“I don’t think anyone is there,” I said, reaching behind me to squeeze her hand. “Maybe it was a raccoon or something.”

“Yeah. Probably.” She laughed uneasily. “I’m imagining things.”

“Hey, better safe than sorry,” I said, smiling at her. “If you ever think you see or hear something, definitely let me know. You might notice something I don’t.”

“I will.” We reached the door and she waited for me to open it. When I didn’t, she shot me a look. “Uh, are you going to open the door?”

My heart skipped a beat or two, and my palms grew sweaty. Was this a good idea? It was too late to go back now. I’d already made the steps toward this, and I wasn’t one to back down. “You open it.”

She looked at my empty hands first, then up at my face, her brow crinkled. “Okay? Give me your key.”

I crossed my arms. “Why don’t you use your own?”

“Maybe because I don’t have one?”

“Check your back pocket,” I said, my voice low. I really hoped she didn’t freak out or throw the key back at me or tell me I was moving too fucking fast. When she just stared at me, her cheeks flushed, I tapped my foot. “Well? Go on. Check.”

She slid her hand into the wrong pocket, then moved on to the right one. Hopefully it hadn’t slipped out on the ride, or all this show was for nothing. When she pulled her hand out, the little gold key in her fingers, I held my breath and waited to see her reaction.

Slowly, her wide eyes rose from the key until her gaze collided with mine. “You gave me a key? To your place?”

“I did.” I tugged on my hair and shifted on my feet. “If you don’t want it, it’s cool. I just thought it would be nice for you to be able to come over here whenever you wanted, even if I’m not here. You could come here and study, or sleep, or eat, or whatever you wanted even if I’m…”

…not here.

Yeah, I already said that.

I stopped talking and stared at my feet, because I was babbling like a fucking idiot. I didn’t like acting like an idiot, although I’d been doing it way too much lately. Apparently, love and idiocy went hand in hand.

“Finn?”

I lifted my head and dropped my hand. “Yeah?”

“This is so…wow,” she said softly. “Thank you.”

I nodded, not sure what else to say. I wanted her in my home all the time, so I gave her a key. It was simple. “Go ahead and see if it works.”

It did. I already tested it.

But at least it gave her something to do besides stare at me looking all happy and yet somehow sad. It’s like she knew why I was really doing this. Even if I was gone, it would be like she was with me whenever she came here, and that meant something.

She slid the key into the lock and turned it, giving me a shaky smile when it opened. “It works.”

“Good,” I said, my voice gruff. “Go in, then.”

She went inside and flipped on the light, stopping a few steps in. She stood in the middle of the living room area, her eyes on my closet. Not a big shocker there. After all, it became clear, quite quickly, that I’d cleared some space in my closet for her—complete with pink fucking hangers waiting for her shit.

Yeah. Pink.

“Did you…is that…?”

“For you?” I leaned against the door and crossed my ankles, trying to go for casual and unconcerned. “Yeah. Last time I checked, I didn’t use pink. I know it doesn’t go with your hair, but…” I shrugged, even though she wasn’t looking at me. She was still staring at the closet. “I figured that would make the clothes stand out more, since you never wear it. Ya know?”

She walked up to the closet and ran her hands over the pink hangers, then touched my cammies before letting her hand drop to her side. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.” I crossed the room and came up behind her, resting my hands on her shoulders. I leaned down and kissed the top of her ginger head, breathing in the scent of the shampoo that I’d bought for her. “But are you?” I asked softly. “It’s not like you’re moving in or anything. It’s just an open-door policy.”

She nodded. “You know I’m not going anywhere, right?”

“I know you think that, and I know you want to believe it. And so do I.” I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her close, more so to hide my face from her than anything. And I really didn’t want to fight again. “But I’ve seen a lot more of the world than you have. Shit happens and life is hard. If I leave—”

She smacked me. “I’m not going to move on or forget you.”

I flinched. “I know.” Or, at least I knew she didn’t plan on it. But plans changed, and so did people. Especially when they were separated. “That’s not what I’m saying.”

She tensed in my arms. “But you are. You’re worried if you go on deployment I’ll move on to another guy, aren’t you? You don’t trust me.”

Oh, fuck. This was going to be another fight if I didn’t fix it and fix it now. “Ginger…”

“No way. You’re not getting off that easily.”

My hands flexed on her, but she moved out of my arms. I missed her already. The softness in her blue eyes gave way to her icy look, and she put her hands on her hips. Oh yeah. I’d pissed her off. Damn it. “I trust you, Ginger.”

“Don’t Ginger me, mister.” She poked a finger in my chest and I held my hands up in surrender. “Do you have such little faith in me that you think I would freaking leave you when you’re off defending our country? Really?”

“You’re not the one I don’t have faith in,” I said, squaring my jaw. “I’m worried I’ll do something to fuck this up.”

“How could you mess this up?”

Well, for starters I could die. But I didn’t say that. She would only worry even more. I scrambled for some bullshit reason to give her, but came up a round short. So I shrugged and said nothing. She pushed me hard, back toward the bed, and I stumbled a little bit before I could catch my balance.

Was it somehow perverted that I liked her beating me up? Because I did.

She shoved me again. The back of my knees hit the bed, and I fell onto it, not even bothering to fight it. When I hit the mattress, she climbed on top of me and held my hands down. “I’m going to tell you this once and once only: I will not leave you. And if you leave, I will always be here waiting for you when you get back. Whether it’s in a few days, a week, or a freaking year. I’ll be here. I’ll be yours.”

Something inside of me gave way and broke. Maybe it was my doubt. Maybe it was something else. All I knew is what caused it. Her. “Fuck, I love you. So damn much it scares the shit out of me. I’ve never been scared of anything before. Guns. Surfing. War. But now I have the biggest fear of all—losing you.”

“Finn…” she whispered, her voice breaking.

I slipped my hand behind her head and urged her down, kissing her the second her lips touched mine. Her fingers flexed on mine, and she moaned softly, straining to get closer to me. I slanted my head, deepening the kiss even more, and she wrapped her arms around me.

Man, I needed this in my life. Needed her lips on mine, her arms around me tight, her grip on my heart secure and complete. Without it, I’d be alive, and I’d be here, but I wouldn’t be me. I wouldn’t be living.

My hands moved down her back slowly until I cupped her ass, urging her even closer to my cock. She pressed down, a soft moan escaping her. She adjusted herself slightly so she straddled me, her legs tucked behind her, and she moved against me in a sensuous, perfect circular motion.

I lifted my hands higher, burying them in her hair and yanking her down harder. She whimpered into my mouth and curled her fingers into my pecs, moving her hips faster. She tugged on my shirt impatiently. I broke the kiss off long enough for her to yank it over my head, and then I rolled her beneath me.

Her legs closed around my waist, urging me closer, and my gut tightened. If she didn’t stop making those little sounds, I’d be inside of her before she even came for me once. Slowly, I ran my hands over her breasts, lightly teasing her nipples. She arched into my hand, begging me for more without words, and I gave her what she wanted. Hell, I’d always give her what she wanted.

I was that much of a sap.

I cupped her, rolling my palms over her. The shirt had to go and so did the bra, so I stopped kissing her long enough to get her naked and grab a condom. As I stripped off her pants, I kissed a path down her thigh, over her knee, and nipped at her ankle. She cried out and pressed into the mattress, her breath coming in tiny bursts.

As I removed all my clothing, I watched her. I rolled the condom over my cock, never dropping my eyes from her. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were closed, and she trailed her hand lightly over her own stomach, a small moan escaping at the touch.

Holy fucking hell, she looked like a naughty angel brought to Earth. My angel…and I was never letting her go. Her father could kiss my ass. I was the man for her, and we both knew it. And wasn’t that all that mattered? I’d spent all this time stressing about her father’s reaction, when I should have been focusing on her.

I wouldn’t make the mistake again.

I crawled up her body, leaving kisses and nips as I went, stopping only once I was at her hip. I rolled my tongue over her hipbone, my heart quickening when she cried out and scraped her nails across my shoulders. I loved the way she looked when she was turned on. All rosy cheeks and soft lips. All mine.

I flicked my tongue over her clit, my finger thrusting inside of her at the same time. She screamed and arched her hips; her breath coming out harsh and uneven. “God, Finn. Don’t stop.”

Oh, I wasn’t planning on it. Not until she was a quivering mess.

I rolled my tongue over her, pressing a little harder, and moved my fingers in and out, building up the speed with each motion. When she tightened her legs on my head, a cry escaping her lips that sounded more like a breath than a word, I positioned myself between her legs. She scrambled to hold on to me, and I lifted her hips, driving inside of her with one smooth thrust.

“Finn,” she cried, her nails raking down my back.

“Come for me again,” I demanded in her ear, biting down on her shoulder and thrusting harder. “Let go for me.”

She dug her nails into my back and held her breath, her pussy clenching down around my cock so hard that she almost pushed me out. When she came, her walls squeezing me until I couldn’t fucking stand it anymore, I was right there with her, my hands gripping her as tight as I could as I soared into the sky.

When I came back down, she was running her fingers up and down my spine, kissing my shoulder over and over again. I knew, right then and there, that she’d meant every word she said. She’d be here waiting for me no matter what happened.

And it felt fucking amazing to finally, truly believe in that kind of love.