Prada and Prejudice

Chapter 26

What the heck was Alex doing kissing me? Better yet, what was I doing enjoying it?

He's... arrogant and judgmental and elitist. He's convinced only a member of the aristocracy is worth his time. Or anyone else's, for that matter.

Gah! I'm so stupid! How could we have gone from screaming at each other to kissing?

My stomach twists in knots as I head straight to Emily's chamber. She's sitting in the large window seat overlooking the courtyard when I burst through the door. In less than three seconds, I'm plunking down across from her. "You're getting married," I say, trying to sound cheerful and normal even though everything is spinning around in my gut so fast I feel like I may actually puke.

She looks up and just stares, expressionless.

"It worked. Alex convinced your father."

She squeals and hugs me. She's beaming from ear-to-ear.

"This is wonderful!" She jumps up and does the most adorable dance, spinning around and around until her skirts look like a pinwheel. When she collapses hack on the window seat, I can tell she's dizzy. "How can I ever repay you for what you've done for me?"

"Huh?" I missed whatever she just said. I'm too busy holding my fingers to my lips to calm the tingles.

My first kiss. That was my first kiss. And he's a duke. I just kissed a duke. And I didn't even see it coming. I'd always imagined this slow-motion, front porch, end-of-the-first-date sort of thing. The anticipation, the nerves. But it was just... sudden and unexpected. This is insane.

"Something wrong?" she says, her hazel eyes soft and expressive, as if I'm about to unload the weight of the world and she'll gladly bear it all.

"I — I don't know. I'm trying to figure out what's going on with your cousin. Everything he's done up until now... and then... I just can't figure out who he is, that's all."

She just smiles and waits, like she knows I'll continue once I figure out what I want to say.

"It's just... at the dance at the Pommeroy's, he tried to tell this other titled guy that I wasn't good enough to dance with. He told the guy he should dance with a lady instead. Like I'm not worthy or something because I'm just some commoner."

Emily furrows her brow. "That is quite unlike him. I'm sure he meant no harm."

"But it was just so pompous, and every time I think maybe he deserves a chance or something, I think about it again and realize what a jerk he's been. Why would he tell Lord Brimmon I'm not good enough?"

Her head snaps around and she looks at me. '"Twas Lord Brimmon?"

I nod and narrow my eyes at Emily's reaction. "Why does it matter who it was?"

Emily hesitates.

"Tell me," I say.

"Brimmon's known as a rake at best and a scoundrel at worst. If Alex was trying to talk him out of dancing with you, it was for the sake of your reputation, not his."

My jaw drops. Could that be true? Could I have been wrong about him?

Sigh. I've gotten nothing right in 1815. Nothing. I've been judging him for that comment since the moment he made it.

"So... it had nothing to do with me not being good enough?"

Emily laughs. "Oh, heavens, no. You're his guest. How could that be true?"

"Oh... But then he was saying he'd dance with me because it was expected. Because I was his guest, he would do it out of duty. He acted like it was a chore."

Emily looks downright amused. "Harksbury has hosted many guests. Alex danced with precisely one of them: you."

"Oh."

I stare down at my hands and try to suppress the urge to grin, but I can't stop it. It spreads until I'm beaming.

Alex danced with me because he wanted to. Not because he had to.

Is it really possible there's more to him than I thought?

"Well now I've screwed everything up..." I trail off. I don't think I can admit to the botched kiss moment with Alex. "He's going to think I'm a total freak."

She furrows her brow. I don't know if she's wondering what's gone on between Alex and me, or what a freak is. "I am certain he would not think such a thing."

I wish I could believe her. But I know the truth: there's no way Alex is ever going to kiss me again.

No matter how much I want it.