Chapter Eighteen

So this was what it was like to die. No thought of martial arts, just Kim clawing at Glory's hands. She flashed back to the feral Shifter trying to kill her in her bedroom, her fear spiking.

Kim had no breath. Her vision went dark, her lungs burned, and her heart pumped frantically, desperate for oxygen. Dimly, she heard Liam roar.

Sparks flew out into the night, Glory's Collar going off. Air poured back into Kim's lungs, and she sat down hard as Glory flung her aside to face the wildcat leaping at them.

Liam.

Glory half changed, trying to meet the attack, but her Collar kept sparking, her body jerking with pain.

Dylan knocked into Liam's side, shifting as he went. Liam's clothes ripped as the wildcat burst out of them. Then the two were rolling over each other with savage intensity, snarling, raking claws, biting. Their Collars triggered, muscles and fur shuddering with the shocks, but they didn't stop.

"Mate," Glory rasped. Her hands were at her neck, the Collar stark black against her white throat. "Stupid. I attacked his mate. He couldn't help it. He had to defend..."

The rest of the Shifters moved back to give the fighting wildcats room. Sean watched, white-faced, looking poised to run back into the house.

"Stop them," Kim shouted at him.

He answered, tight-lipped. "I can't. I'm the Guardian."

"So guard something!"

Connor shrieked. Shifters jumped, turned his way. Connor balled his fists. "No," he yelled. "No!"

Sean grabbed for him, but Connor shook him off and leapt for the two snarling wildcats. He'd half changed to a gangly young wildcat when his Collar went off in midleap. His scream echoed through the clearing.

"Connor," Kim shouted.

Glory dragged herself up and ran to him. Still Sean hung back, watching, waiting.

Connor's Collar kept sparking, and he keened as he had when Fergus had done the Summoning. He shifted back to human, his clothes in shreds.

Glory pulled him into her arms. "Kim, help me," she called.

One of the wildcats rolled away from the other and landed against a tree. Its limbs distorted, and Liam emerged, naked, dirt and long, bloody scratches streaking his body. The other cat became Dylan, lying flat on his back in the mud, panting.

"Kim!" Glory yelled.

Glory was rocking Connor on her lap. Kim went to them and dropped to her knees behind Connor, feeling ineffectual.

"He needs your touch," Glory said. "You're family now."

Kim put her hands on Connor's bare back. "It's all right, Con."

"He needs more than that. Goddess, how do you humans survive?"

Because being human is all about personal space? Shifters' personal space was different. Kim had thought she understood--Shifters liked to touch, the same way cats rubbed against other cats they knew and liked.

But she realized now that there was more to it. The Shifters' need to touch wasn't simply for affection; it was comfort and reassurance. And maybe release from pain? Kim remembered how Sean and Liam had held Sandra between them to calm her the first day Kim had come to Shiftertown. Kim had thought that the three were being sexual, but she knew now that there hadn't been anything sexual about their group huddle.

Kim slid her arms around Connor and leaned onto his back. "It's all right, sweetie," she said. "They've stopped."

Glory had Connor's head on her shoulder, her arm around him. Connor had stopped his horrible keening, but he shivered violently.

He really was young, Kim had realized when he'd shifted. As a wildcat, Connor was underdeveloped, little more than a cub, never mind he was twenty in human years and attending college. The gulf between his world and Kim's gaped wide.

Gulf. Oh, hell, Silas.

Kim looked up. Silas remained with Annie, who'd taken a protective stance in front of him. Silas's eyes were wide, but the man had seen the worst areas of Iraq and Afghanistan. Two Shifter-cats battling it out shouldn't faze him. She hoped.

"Why didn't your Collars work?" he asked into the silence.

Dylan still lay on his back with his eyes closed, his face ashen. Liam answered, "They did. This is pain you're looking at, lad. Dad was teaching me a bit of a lesson, is all."

Liam's answer was evasive, but he wasn't lying about the pain. He looked awful, and so did Dylan.

Ellison had shifted back to human form but hadn't resumed his clothes. He went to Liam, helped him to his feet, put an arm around him. Sean stepped to Liam's other side, wrapped his arm around Liam's shoulder, nuzzled his cheek.

"Go to him, Kim," Glory said. "I've got Connor."

"What about Dylan?" Dylan lay alone, breathing hard, his body white and gleaming with sweat.

"Leave Dylan be. Liam's your mate. He needs you."

Kim gave Connor one last hug and unfolded to her feet. She never could decide whether Glory was a complete bitch or a complicated woman. Glory's tongue was sharp, but she looked up at Kim with such anguish in her eyes that Kim suddenly wanted to hug her.

She resisted and went to Liam.

Ellison relinquished his place at Liam's side to Kim. Kim kept her eyes averted from Ellison's very naked body, but Ellison didn't seem to notice or care.

"We need to get him to the house, away from everyone," Sean said from Liam's other side.

Kim nodded. She and Sean helped Liam walk, step by shaky step, to the back porch, and inside the quiet Morrissey house. It was dark, no one having been inside since sunset, but neither she nor Sean bothered to turn on the light.

"Get me to the couch," Liam said. "I'll be all right."

Kim and Sean lowered him gently. Kim took Liam's hand between hers, and Sean started to sit down next to him.

"Stop fussing like old biddies," Liam growled. "It's not that bad. You need to make sure Connor's all right."

"What about your dad?" Kim asked.

"Glory will see to him." Liam reached for her. "Poor Kim. We've given you a fright."

"Now you're patronizing me." Kim climbed to her feet and glared at both of them. "That was some serious shit out there, wasn't it?"

"It's over now."

"You can barely talk, Liam. So be quiet. And you." Kim pointed at Sean. "You just stood there. Like you did in San Antonio when Fergus went crazy with his whip. You stood there and let them fight each other, let Connor rush in and get hurt. I thought you were supposed to be the big Guardian of the clan. Doesn't that mean you're supposed to protect them?"

"Kim," Liam said. "Don't."

"It's all right, Liam," Sean answered. "She doesn't understand."

"So make me understand."

Sean looked at her a few moments, then lifted the sword from where it rested beside the couch. He drew it from its sheath and held the sword toward her in both hands, letting Kim see the interwoven Celtic designs etched into the hilt and blade. The workmanship was amazing, the lines featherlight, every single one part of the intricate pattern.

"It's Shifter forged and Fae spelled. Very old, not meant for fighting."

"For what, then?"

"The Guardian doesn't guard the clan," Sean said softly. "I'm the Guardian of the Gate. The Gate to the afterworld."

Kim dragged her gaze from the sword to look into Sean's quiet eyes. "You've lost me."

"It used to be that the Guardian was for his pride only. But now that we've taken the Collar, I'm responsible for every Shifter in this Shiftertown. When a Shifter dies or is without hope of survival, I bring the sword. The sword frees the soul, allowing it to enter the Summerland. The Guardian makes sure the souls aren't stranded, which makes them vulnerable to be enslaved again by the Fae. I save them from that."

Kim tried to understand, to make her very practical mind believe. "So, when you stand there, watching a fight..."

"I'm waiting to see if the sword is needed. If I join in, and I'm hurt or killed, there's no one else who can wield the sword. When I die, a new Guardian arises. Usually from the same family, but it's complicated."

"Are you telling me that if Dylan had hurt Liam enough tonight, you'd have stuck Liam with the sword? Turned him to dust like you did with that Shifter in my bedroom?"

"He would have, love," Liam said. "He'd have done what he needed to do."

"Aye, I'd have sent him to dust," Sean agreed. "Just like I did with our Kenny." Sean sheathed the sword, turned on his heel, and walked out of the house, clutching the sword in a tight hand.

"Oh," Kim said into the quiet. "Now I feel like a complete idiot. What a thing to remind him of. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. I was just so angry at him for not helping you."

"It's an old hurt. My fault for not explaining about it."

Liam looked exhausted, lines etched into his tired face. Kim sat down next him, kissed his hand. "You're not all right. You told me how strong your dad was, and the Collar really punished you out there."

"It's not so bad," Liam said, his voice nearly a whisper. "Yet. Can you help me up to bed, Kim? I'm thinking I'll be spending the rest of my mate-bonding night there. Not what I really had in mind, but eventually, I'm going to feel better." He smiled. "And I'll want you next to me."

He tried to speak lightly, but Kim saw the pain in his eyes, remembered how it had clouded him the night he'd saved her from the feral Shifter. She kissed his lips, softly, trying not to hurt him, then put her arm around him and helped him to his feet.

Dylan had never screwed like this before. The sofa springs dug into Glory's back, and Dylan's weight pinned her wonderfully. He drove into her hard, harder, never mind the angry scratches and bruises that covered his body. His face was set, his eyes almost feral.

She'd feared that he'd be enraged with her, and he was angry, but it was anger Glory didn't understand. Instead of berating her when he stormed in her back door, he'd grabbed her and started sexing her before they even reached the sofa. His clothes had already been gone, and she helped him tear off her own clothes before clasping him in her arms. Now Dylan pumped into her until Glory screamed with joy, not caring if everyone in Shiftertown was still outside to hear.

She was under no illusion that Dylan loved her. Dylan still loved his mate and resented himself for what he did with Glory. Dylan tried to be kind, but Glory knew that he considered himself betraying the woman who'd borne his children. His need for Glory angered him. Whenever the anger finally overrode his desires, he'd refuse to see Glory for months.

Glory held on to him, feeling him slip away from her again. Damn it, why couldn't he make up his mind? He was tearing her apart.

She felt his seed as he groaned with it, and she hoped against hope that this time, she'd conceive. Dylan might consider taking her as mate if she had a cub. It was more difficult to produce a baby cross-species, but it could be done, and Glory would love bearing Dylan's child.

Glory squeezed him inside her and held him close. Dylan collapsed on her, breath ragged.

The sounds of the revelry outside filtered into the house. The Shifters were enjoying themselves again. The fight was over, nothing had changed, and there was a mating ritual to celebrate. Perfect excuse to party all night.

Dylan disentangled himself from Glory and sat up, breathing hard. He ran his hands through his sweaty hair.

She loved his hair. He kept it fairly short, and it was going gray at the temples, which complemented the fine lines around his eyes. If this man could be hers...

"I won't ask if you're all right," Glory said. Her lips were swollen, and she winced as her tongue found a cut. "You wouldn't be here if you weren't."

Dylan didn't answer. He sat back, still catching his breath. Glory got up and went to the kitchen, gratified that when she came back with a wet towel his gaze was fixed on her naked body.

She sat next to him and started dabbing blood from his face.

"Thank you," Dylan said. "Are you all right?"

Now she worried. Dylan never reverted to politeness unless things were truly bad. "My Collar gave me only one burst. It went away fast." A lie, but Glory knew that Dylan's hurting when it came would be far greater than hers. Staving off the consequences of the Collar brought worse hurt than going along with it.

"I'm sorry, Dylan," she said. "I didn't realize Liam would react so strongly. I thought my Collar would stop me, and he'd laugh at me for being foolish."

Dylan looked away. "I didn't think he'd react like that, either."

"And then you leapt in to save me. My hero."

Dylan shot her a look. Glory went back to dabbing his wounds. "It's over now," she said. "You wrestled, you stopped the fight. I'm sorry about Connor."

"Connor needs to learn to back off until he's fully grown." Dylan paused. "And I didn't stop the fight. Liam did."

"Liam backed down. I saw him."

"No." Dylan's words were flat. "Liam stopped the fight, because he was winning it."

Glory froze, and the cloth dripped water on her bare thighs. "Goddess, are you sure?"

"Very sure, love. Liam stopped before he could hurt me. If this had happened before the Collar, he'd have killed me." Dylan closed his eyes and rested his head on the back of the sofa.

"What are you going to do to him?"

Dylan gave a mirthless laugh. "I'm not going to do anything to him. I can't. He's my son, and he's mated now. It's up to him." He opened his eyes. "If you say anything, tell anyone, I'll..."

She liked that he didn't finish the sentence. When a Shifter said, "I'll kill you," he meant it. Dylan wouldn't say it casually. "Like I would. I keep your secrets, Dylan."

Dylan's look softened, and he closed his eyes again. "Thank you. I know you do. The Collar's going to pay me back now. You might want to go out to the party. This won't be pretty."

"I'm not leaving you."

Dylan reached out and took her hand. Glory twined her fingers through his, her heart thumping. Dylan's body shuddered as the pain started to flow. A tear slid from his tightly closed eyes.

"Thank you," he whispered.

"It's bad," Liam said. As though all the agony in the world was twisting his body to one fine point.

"What can I do?" Kim knelt on his bed next to him.

"You being here with me is good." Liam broke off as a spasm rocked him. "Damn."

Kim put her arms around him. Liam loved that she instinctively knew he needed her warmth and closeness. Nothing else would get him through this.

"That was one hell of a fight," Kim said. "Why did you have it?"

"Glory attacked my mate. The beast inside me had to stop her." He grimaced as another wave rocketed through him.

"Her Collar activated right away. She knew she wouldn't be able to hurt me."

"Sure, my brain reasons that now. But at the time, the feral Shifter in me wanted nothing more than to protect you."

"And your father tried to protect Glory. Is that it?"

"That's it in one, love." Liam tried to smile, though the muscles of his mouth didn't want to move. "The big liar. I knew Dad cared about her more than he let on."

"That's a good thing, isn't it? Even though you two had to tear each other up to learn it?"

Liam looked into her honest eyes and felt something break inside him. He knew what had happened in the fight, something far more significant than learning that his father liked Glory more than he admitted.

Dylan had felt it too. Liam had seen what was in his father's eyes when they pulled apart.

Defeat.

The wildcat inside Liam wanted to roar his triumph. The pride was his. Liam was mated, powerful, and he'd just bested the only one in Shiftertown stronger than himself.

"Crap," he whispered. "Goddess help me."

Kim kneaded his shoulders. "Does it hurt?"

She thought he meant the Collar. The Collar was nothing compared to the grief that now twisted him, warring with the fierce joy of his victory. It was nothing to the heartbreak of what he'd seen in his father.

Fear. Dylan feared him.

"Kim. I've just screwed everything all to hell." Liam pulled her down on top of him, held her close, and explained in a low, rapid voice what had happened.

Liam's descent to breakfast the next morning was difficult for three reasons. First because he was sore as hell--from the fight with his father and the Collar's payback, then from sex with Kim, as gentle as it had been. Second, because Kim lay snuggled and cute in his bed, sound asleep. Third, because he'd have to face Dylan.

In the space of a few seconds last night, Liam's entire life had changed. He didn't know what to do about it, or even how he felt about it. The turmoil of emotions and thoughts nauseated him.

He descended the stairs, scrubbing his hand through his wet hair. He'd showered twice, once last night with Kim while she washed his cuts, which had led to water all over the bathroom floor. There was something about bathrooms and Kim. The second time was this morning after he'd left the bed.

Dylan leaned on his elbows on the breakfast bar, drinking coffee and reading a newspaper. Morning sunlight winked on his Collar.

"Did Fergus oust you yet?" Liam asked, as he headed for the coffeepot. They didn't have a coffee-maker, not because it was forbidden to Shifters, but because they'd never taken to anything but coffee brewed right in the pot.

"Haven't heard from him. I'm sure he'll be along."

Liam poured coffee. "Where have Sean and Connor got to?"

"I sent them off."

"Why?"

"So we could talk."

Liam took a sip and grimaced. "Sean must have made this." Sean, terrific at the griddle, lousy at the brew-up.

"Fergus has to know."

"That Sean made the damned coffee?"

"Liam."

"Shit."

Both men fell silent. Liam cradled his cup while Dylan pretended to read the newspaper. Liam had never heard Dylan come in last night; Glory must have been comforting him the way Kim had comforted Liam.

"Do you want me to leave?" Dylan asked without looking up.

"No, you're fine. I don't mind you reading the paper." Liam stopped pretending. "You mean for good, don't you? Why should you?"

"My own father died before we found out whether I could best him. Defeated males had two choices back then--be killed or cast out."

"I know."

Dylan turned a page. "I knew in my heart it would happen to me sooner or later. I didn't think it would be last night."

"We never finished the fight."

"Good thing." Dylan finally looked up at him. The man was much too calm. His eyes were watchful, but other than that, he rested against the counter, the cuts on his face already healing. "If it had been obvious that you'd bested me, Fergus would be up here demanding to fight you, to establish his dominance."

"Did you tell anyone?"

"Glory."

"You trust her then?"

Dylan gave him a thin smile. "I might have to move in with the woman. I thought it only fair that she knew why."

"Damn it, Dad. You don't have to move out. We're not feral anymore. We don't have to disembowel each other to make a point."

"No, we're too civilized for disemboweling," Dylan said in a dry voice. "The choice is yours, Liam. I don't mind going."

"No." Liam slammed his cup to the counter and it broke. Hot coffee spilled on his hands and spattered on his thighs. "I don't want you going. Why the hell should you? You belong here."

Dylan left his newspaper, caught Liam's shoulders in his big hands. "It's natural, son. It happens."

"Screw that."

Dylan pulled him close. Liam resisted the hug, wanting to push him away. All his life he'd felt protected and confident because Dylan and his strength was there. Even when Dylan had disappeared to grieve, his protection had permeated the walls of their castle, and Liam had known Dylan would return. He'd never doubted.

When they'd come to America, a land they'd never seen, and during the torture of taking the Collar, Dylan had been there. Dylan was the anchor in the madness of Liam's life, in the chaos of the world.

Last night, the moment Liam's wildcat had known he could destroy Dylan anytime he wanted to, that world had changed. Gone was the ground beneath Liam's feet, the tie to sanity. The abyss howled at him, and now he'd have to face it alone.

Liam jerked away. He and Dylan were the same height; he could look his father straight in the eye. "Don't tell Fergus. Not yet. I don't want him coming after you."

Dylan nodded, and Liam tamped down his anger with difficulty. Primal rage made him want Fergus in front of him, right now. Liam would make the man eat his fucking whip.

"Is this the true reason you never would fight Fergus?" Liam asked. "Because you knew once you'd bested him, I'd be compelled to best you?"

Dylan waited a silent moment, then nodded.

The enormity of the knowledge was enough to make Liam sick. He had always thought Dylan held back from challenging Fergus to keep the peace in Shiftertown, because living life and raising the children were more important than fights for dominance. Liam had agreed, believed it with all his heart. Now Dylan was confessing that part of the reason he'd kept himself from fighting Fergus was simple fear.

When a clan leader died, usually the second in line stepped into his place without fuss, unless a Shifter close to the second knew that he could vie for leadership. Other Shifters down the line might fight among themselves to move up a place or two, and a series of fights could happen until the pecking order settled again. Typically the hierarchy didn't change, but sometimes a young Shifter grew more dominant or an older Shifter weakened and moved down. Dylan had realized that Liam's natural dominance would emerge the instant Fergus was gone, that Liam wouldn't have been able to stop himself from challenging his father.

"Shite, Dad."

"Fergus will have to know sometime," Dylan said.

"We wait. We'll tell him on our own terms, when we're ready."

Dylan nodded once. "Agreed."

Liam loved his father so damn much, and now his instincts were telling him to push Dylan out, take over his power. The Collars might keep Shifters from being violent, but they didn't take away the fiery urge to dominate.

Dylan knew it too. His instincts must have been telling him to cut and run, get out while the going was good. By the white lines around his mouth, Liam knew he was resisting the urge with difficulty.

"Damn it," Liam said. "Why didn't you warn me this was coming?"

"I hoped it wouldn't happen for a few more years, that we'd both have time to prepare. But claiming a mate triggered something in you. You're the oldest son. Don't tell me you didn't know that one day you'd take over the family."

"I didn't think it would be now, and I didn't think it would hurt so much."

Dylan smiled. "Your mother would be proud of you for showing compassion. For not throwing me out with your bare hands."

"Mum was too damn good for us."

"I know that."

Liam met his gaze and said something that would have gotten him knocked across the room before today. "She'd want you to be with Glory. She'd want you to be happy."

"Don't push it, Liam."

Liam wanted to laugh, but he was wound up too tight. His dad might have switched places with him in the hierarchy, but that didn't mean the man was a wimp.

Liam grabbed Dylan in a bear hug, then released him abruptly and left the house.

Even in the embrace, Liam's instincts had kicked in, urging him to remind his father who now ran the pride. Liam needed some distance from his father to get used to his new position, to learn to control himself.

He looked back and saw Kim peering down at him from his bedroom window, but even that couldn't make him stay.

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