He that will have a cake out of wheat must tarry the grinding.
–William Shakespeare,
Loving Lucas was easy. Getting along with the impossible man was another matter altogether. Taylor hadn't realized how stubborn he could be until he refused to back down and listen to reason. The issue of where they were going to live was under discussion, though in truth she was the only one doing any discussing. Lucas had told her they were moving to a large city and refused to hear her argument against the plan. She was just as determined to stay where she was.
Time was on her side, however. Victoria was exhausted from their journey and needed to rest before she went anywhere. Her dear friend had just climbed out of the wagon when she heard Taylor tell Lucas she was ailing. She immediately jumped back inside and took to her bed.
Hunter was getting his things together with the intent of taking off for the mountains. As soon as he heard Victoria was sick, he came up with one reason after another why he couldn't leave.
Roily and three other men from town came marching into the clearing and inadvertently stopped the argument.
"We aren't finished with this discussion," Taylor whispered to her husband before turning to smile at the visitors.
"We aren't having a discussion," Lucas told her. "As soon as Victoria's feeling better, we're leaving."
Georgie and Allie were both demanding his attention. He squatted down to find out what they wanted.
Hunter was putting out the fire he'd started to cook their breakfast. Daniel was helping him.
"Ross, Hunter," Roily called out, nodding after he shouted each name. He stopped in front of Taylor and bowed to her. "Morning, Mrs. Ross. Since you went and got yourself a house, me and the boys thought we'd go along and see to a few repairs. We'll make sure the place is clear of critters, so you won't have to worry about the youngsters stepping on something mean."
Lucas had stood up during Rolly's explanation. Allie hid behind his leg and stared up at the giant, but Georgie was bolder. She walked right up to Roily and tugged on his pant leg until he looked down at her.
The child lost her balance staring up at Roily and staggered backward. Then she put her arms up and waited.
Roily looked at Taylor. "What's she wanting?" he asked nervously.
Georgie answered before Taylor could. "Up," she demanded.
Roily looked thunderstruck. "I ain't never held me a baby. Guess I could give it a try if you're agreeable, Mrs. Ross."
"Certainly, Mr. Roily," Taylor replied.
"It's just Roily," he instructed her. He bent over and gently lifted Georgie up. He held her up in the air at arm's length. "She don't weigh more than a feather."
"Taylor, what's Roily talking about?" Lucas asked. He'd held onto his patience long enough. He wanted an immediate answer.
Roily stepped forward. "She got herself a house. Can I put her down now? I don't want to damage her none."
Taylor reached up and took Georgie into her arms. The men smiled at the little girl, then followed their leader as Roily turned and started back across the clearing.
"We'll be ready to help you move in by early afternoon, Mrs. Ross," Roily called out.
Taylor put Georgie down and told her and her sister to go help Hunter. Then she turned to her husband. "I purchased a house yesterday. That's why I went to see Lewis," she said. Her words were hurried together when she added, "I haven't seen it yet, but I'm sure it's going to be fine. It has wood floors and glass windows."
There was only one house in Redemption with glass windows. Lucas let out a loud expletive.
"Callaghan's place," he whispered. "Lewis sold you that crazy old mountain man's house?"
He wasn't shouting, but he was close to it. Taylor hurried to soothe him. "It isn't his house. Even if we do leave soon, we still need somewhere to stay tonight."
"No."
"Lucas, be reasonable about this."
He took a step closer to her. "I am being reasonable. He's crazy, Taylor. You'll wake up and find him sitting at the table wanting breakfast. His smell will knock you over backward. I don't think he's had a bath in twenty years. He won't leave until he's good and ready," he added with a nod. "And then he'll take half of what you've unpacked with him."
Taylor hid her alarm. "Is he dangerous?" she asked.
Lucas wanted to lie, then decided on the truth. "No," he admitted. "He won't hurt you, but you'll want to kill him after being in his company for ten minute's. It's out of the question. We're staying in the meadow."
Victoria heard the argument and was peeking out the back of the wagon so she could watch the couple. She was ready to conclude that Lucas was going to win the argument. Then Taylor nudged the scales in her favor.
"My dear friend is sick," she announced. "She needs a proper bed. Are you willing to take all of us to your brothers' place and let us stay there until she's feeling better?"
He would have loved to do just that but knew it wasn't a good idea. "The ranch is a hard day's ride on a horse. With wagons and finding trails, it could take as long as four days."
"Lewis told me Callaghan doesn't usually come down from the mountain until the middle of summer."
"We'll be living in the city by then," Lucas told her.
"Then surely it will be all right if we stay in the house just one night."
Lucas finally gave in. He assured her it was only because of Victoria's health and only for one night.
He had the last word. "If she's better, we're leaving tomorrow."
The house was as wonderful as a palace in Taylor's estimation. There was a large glass window on either side of the entrance and one above on the second floor. The living area was quite spacious. To the right was a long wooden table with benches on each side that would surely seat eight or ten good-sized adults. Against the wall behind the table was a black iron kettle stove, and there was a little alcove with shelves and a long counter.
A small stone fireplace faced the front door. On the left side of the room was a bed and mattress Roily assured her had already been aired out. And in the far corner of the room was a door that opened up into another bedroom. There was a bed against the wall, a crate next to it, and yet another glass window.
The steps leading up to the loft was on the other side of the fireplace. Taylor took the children up to look at their sleeping quarters. Her only worry was that one of the twins might try to climb over the railing, but Hunter assured her the girls had more sense than that. While he was defending them, Georgie got her head stuck between two of the banister spindles. Lucas had carried Victoria inside, for Hunter refused to get near her, and when Georgie started wailing, he put Victoria down on one of the benches and went up to free his daughter.
Taylor and Lucas both insisted Victoria take the back bedroom. She immediately became teary eyed over their thoughtfulness.
"Do you think you'll be feeling better tomorrow?" Lucas asked her.
Victoria looked to Taylor to find out the answer.
Hunter also looked at Taylor. When she gave a quick shake of her head, Victoria immediately put her hand to her forehead and said, "I certainly hope so, but it truly seems doubtful."
Hunter became furious. "Are you ill or aren't you?" he demanded.
Victoria was stunned by the anger in his voice. Her eyes widened and her hand dropped to the base of her neck as Hunter stomped across the room.
He didn't let her answer him. He stood there towering over her, glaring.
"I can't leave worrying about you," he snapped. "Answer me, woman. Are you really sick?"
Victoria latched onto his earlier comment and ignored his question. "You're worrying about me?" Her voice had gone all soft and breathless. Her eyes were as green as emeralds, and tears were already welling up.
"Don't make more of this than it is," he warned her. "What I feel and what I do are two different matters. You've got no business being here," he added. "No business at all."
"Why not?" she asked.
"Because you're a lady," he muttered. "And carrying," he added with a nod in case she'd forgotten.
She stood up. Her middle brushed against him. She couldn't back up; the table was in her way. He wouldn't back up; his pride was in his way.
"I have every right to go wherever I want to go," she told him.
"No, you don't," he told her, just to be stubborn.
"Why not?"
"Because you're pregnant."
It sounded perfectly logical to him. Victoria thought he was being ridiculous. Her face was turning pink with irritation and embarrassment. How dare he tell her what she could and couldn't do?
"'In a false quarrel there is no true valour,' Mr. Hunter," she quoted. "William wrote those very words."
"What the hell does that mean?" he demanded. His voice raised a note. "I'm going to be glad to be rid of you, Victoria. I'm sick to death of watching you mourn for your husband and telling me all the fancy words he said to you. The man's dead. You aren't. Get over it and move on."
Victoria's mouth dropped open. He believed William was her husband? She was speechless, though not because of his misinterpretation. It was the anger and the obvious jealousy she was seeing.
Chaos surrounded them. Lucas was going back and forth from the wagon, carrying what Taylor had promised him were only necessary items they would need for one night. The children were out back, watching Roily and his men clear a yard. Taylor had gone up to the loft to make beds out of the mats and blankets Lucas had carried up for her.
Victoria was getting a crick in her neck looking up at Hunter. "I don't want you to leave," she whispered.
Hunter couldn't stop himself from touching her. He put his hands on her shoulders and gave her a gentle squeeze. He wanted to shake some sense into the woman. She was acting as though he had every right to stay.
A tear slipped down the side of her cheek. He caught it with his thumb. He wanted to make her understand how it had to be.
"My grandmother was a Crow."
"My grandmother was Irish."
He guessed he was going to have to be more blunt.
Victoria still didn't understand she was supposed to be prejudiced against him.
"I'm a half-breed," he reminded her in a low whisper.
"So am I," she immediately answered.
He got mad. "The hell you are."
She wasn't intimidated by his shout. She poked him in his chest. "I'm half Irish and half French, and you can't tell me any different. Facts are facts."
He gave up trying to argue with her because she refused to be logical. "I'm leaving."
She grabbed hold of his belt buckle. "I'm probably not in love with you."
"I hope to God you're not."
She stretched up on her tiptoes. He leaned down at the very same time. His mouth covered hers, and his arms went around her waist. He kissed her long and hard, and when he came to his senses and pulled back, she was breathless and staring up at him with a dreamy, bemused look on her face.
He wanted to kiss her again but didn't dare. His hands dropped to his sides. The woman was making him think impossible things could happen.
"Let go of me," he commanded.
"You can leave after the baby's born," she blurted out at the same time.
"No woman's going to tell me what to do."
She sat back down on the bench and bowed her head. "Go then. I don't need you or anyone else. I'd done just fine on my own."
He snorted. "What about your husband?"
He decided he wasn't going to wait around to hear her answer. She'd probably give him yet another one of the dandy's fancy remarks, and he knew he would completely lose his temper then.
He'd made it to the entrance when he heard her whisper. "I've never been married. You're better off leaving a woman like me alone."
He stopped dead in his tracks. He didn't turn around. "Then who is William?"
"He was a famous playwright. William Shakespeare was his full name. He lived centuries ago."
Hunter stood there for a full minute without saying a word, then he walked outside. Victoria stood up and ran to the bedroom. She was weeping before she'd shut the door.
He made it halfway across the clearing before he stopped. He thought the matter over in his mind for a good five minutes.
Lucas was getting ready to chop wood. He'd taken his shirt off and turned to put it in the wagon when Hunter came storming out of the house. He could hear his friend muttering under his breath, and when Hunter stopped and didn't move for so long, he guessed exactly what was going on.
Georgie came running past him. He caught her in his arms and lifted her up.
"Don't bother Hunter now," he whispered to his daughter so his friend wouldn't overhear.
Then Daniel came hurrying past. Lucas grabbed hold of him and pulled him up against his side.
"Leave Hunter alone," he told his son.
"What's he doing?" Daniel asked.
Lucas smiled. "Struggling. Any minute now he's going to realize it's inevitable." He continued to keep his gaze on Hunter. "Why don't you two go and see what your mother's doing?"
As soon as he put Georgie down, Daniel took hold of her hand and led her back into the house.
Hunter finally made up his mind. He turned around and walked over to Lucas.
"I'll stay around for a little while," he announced.
"I'd appreciate your help."
Hunter nodded. He was glad his friend didn't ask him why he'd changed his mind. He hurriedly changed the subject. "Do you think Caulder might really show up here one of these days?"
"If he believes I've got his gold, he will," Lucas answered.
"They'll probably catch him before he gets as far as Sioux City."
"They might," Lucas agreed.
"Victoria shouldn't go anywhere until after the baby's born. The journey here was hard on her. She needs rest."
"Are you suggesting we stay?"
"Can't see any other way," Hunter replied.
Lucas was concerned about Victoria, of course, but he was also worried about his wife and his children. The wilderness was no place for them. He thought of at least ten reasons right away why it wasn't safe. One of them could step on a snake or drown in the creek or get mauled by a bear. The list was endless.
Yet Hunter was right. They had to stay until the baby was born.
Hunter went into town then to get some supplies he would need to reinforce the stairs.
Lucas told Taylor at supper that Hunter had agreed to stay on until Victoria had her baby. Taylor's friend burst into tears over the news. She stood up, excused herself, and went into her bedroom.
"What's wrong with her?" Daniel David asked.
"She's happy," Taylor explained.
Lucas shook his head. He thought Victoria's reaction was damned odd. Then he turned his attention back to his wife. She looked a sight tonight with her hair spilling down her back and her face rosy from cooking. He thought he could be content to look at her the rest of the night.
She wasn't paying any attention to him. Georgie had deliberately pushed a biscuit up against a piece of salted pork on Allie's plate, which caused an immediate uproar, and Taylor was trying to soothe one twin and lecture the other one at the same time.
Lucas slipped in the other bit of news when Allie paused to take a deep breath so she could scream again. "We're going to stay here until Victoria's had her baby. Then we're leaving."
She gave him a radiant smile. He immediately reminded her their living arrangement was temporary. "Don't think this means I've changed my mind. We aren't raising the children here."
"No, of course not," she replied.
He acted as though he hadn't heard her agreement. "It's too dangerous here for them and for you. You're too fragile for such primitive conditions. Come fall, we're moving to the city."
"But you hate the city."
"I'll get used to it."
With an effort, she was able to hold onto her temper. "Do you have a particular city in mind?"
"We're going back east."
She waited for him to elaborate. After a minute or two, she realized he wasn't going to say another word about his future plans for the family.
"I'm not fragile, Lucas."
He wouldn't listen to her. "Come fall, we're leaving. Don't even think about settling in."
She assured him she wouldn't.
The following morning, she put up yellow and white checkered curtains. She told Lucas it was just for privacy's sake, which was a ridiculous reason given the fact that they lived in the wilderness. Yes, she knew they were leaving. Of course she did. He'd told her so at least a hundred times. But that didn't mean they couldn't be comfortable in the meantime.
He noticed the tablecloth on the table that evening. And the dishes stacked in neat rows on the shelves. There was a new bedspread on their bed, and a glass vase stuffed with wildflowers on top of the mantel. The place was looking more and more like a home to him.
Roily let them purchase the rocker from Frank with the condition that he be allowed to borrow it on Sunday afternoons for the reading of the newspaper. Taylor readily agreed. Frank didn't think Roily had any business giving Taylor stipulations. Just because he'd made the thing didn't mean he could borrow it whenever he wanted. He had, after all, sold it to Frank if he would recall.
The giant didn't like being told what he could or couldn't do. He grabbed Frank by the collar and was about to give him a good shake when Taylor stepped between the two men.
"You made this beautiful rocker, Roily?"
The awe in her voice gained the giant's full attention. She thought it was beautiful. He'd heard that compliment plain and clear. He forgot he was holding onto Frank. He gave her a nod, then muttered, "What of it?" so she wouldn't think he was pleased or proud of his work.
Taylor sat down in the rocker and trailed her fingertips along the polished wood. Roily turned to watch her. He was still holding onto Frank and dragged him with him like Allie dragged her rag doll around.
"It's sound," he told her. His voice didn't sound surly now.
"It's magnificent," she declared. "I don't believe I've ever seen anything this well crafted in all of England," she exaggerated. "You're a true craftsman, Roily."
The giant dropped Frank and hurried over to Taylor. "No nails," he announced. "I didn't cheat and use nails."
He made Taylor stand up so he could lift the rocker and turn it upside down. He wanted her to get a better look at the construction.
Frank quickly recovered from Rolly's burst of temper. Over the years he'd gotten used to being tossed or shaken or shoved by the giant. He wasn't afraid of him any longer. He knew Roily would never kill him, for he thought of him as a friend. And friends in these parts were hard to come by. Frank knew the limits of Rolly's patience, however, and for that reason he didn't dare smile while he watched Taylor's compliments turn the fierce giant into a blushing boy.
Roily told Taylor he had always been good with his hands, and he decided he might as well use them to turn a profit. He worked in his home and pointed to the last building down the road to show her where it was.
"I got enough wood stored up in the shed behind to make twenty rockers," he said. "And it takes me exactly two weeks, start to finish, to make one as sound as can be."
Taylor asked him if he would consider making a cradle for Victoria's baby. She was willing to pay a fair price, she assured him, and he would have all summer to work on it.
Roily rubbed his whiskered jaw and then told her he'd have to think about it.
Late that evening, after everyone had gone to sleep, Lucas woke her up making love to her. She was so tired, she didn't think she had the strength or the inclination, but his warm caresses and hot kisses soon changed her mind. She became as demanding and desperate as he was, and when she found fulfillment, he silenced her scream of ecstasy with his mouth.
He collapsed on top of her and when she let out a groan, he rolled to his side and pulled her into his arms. She tried to keep the loving words locked inside. She didn't want to burden Lucas or make him think she was desperate for his pledge of love. She was desperate though, and no matter how hard she tried to be reasonable about it, she still couldn't talk herself out of her own longing.
She waited until he'd fallen asleep. "I love you, Lucas," she whispered then.
As exhausted as she was, sleep still eluded her. She told herself she should be thankful her husband didn't hate her. She had forced him to radically change his life. He hadn't been given a choice. The poor man detested marriage and was now saddled with a wife and three children.
Taylor spent a good long while feeling sorry for Lucas. Then she started feeling sorry for herself. It was a wonder her husband could even stand to look at her. She knew she wasn't very pretty like Victoria was, and she was certain she wasn't at all lovable. She had too many faults. She was bossy and opinionated and rigid. She used to think those were assets. She'd learned everything she knew about life from her grandmother. Madam taught her to be disciplined and controlled. One never complained or made demands. One took what one was given and made the best of it. No one liked a whiner, and if the need to cry couldn't be suppressed, then one should seek out privacy so no one else would see or hear. A lady was a lady from the moment she opened her eyes in the morning until she closed them again that night.
Taylor was sick and tired of being proper all the time. It was a terrible strain. The urge to scream when something bothered her was getting stronger and stronger, and the need to kick some sense into Lucas was becoming more and more appealing.
He was making her give up her dream, too. She knew that if she pointed out that fact to him, he'd only tell her what he'd been telling her almost from the moment he married her. She wasn't strong enough. Lord, he'd called her fragile. She thought that was probably the most insulting thing he could have said to her.
She would prove him wrong. Yes, that was it, she decided. Arguing that she was every bit as fit as he was wouldn't mean anything. Words were just words. She would have to show him. Taylor stopped feeling sorry for herself and turned her thoughts to the summer ahead. She had three months to prove to Lucas she wasn't fragile.
Once Lucas started thinking of her as his equal, she was certain he would begin to treat her like a real wife and share his hopes and his worries and his past with her. He'd been in the war. That was the only substantial fact she knew about him. What had he done before and after? What was his life like growing up? She'd certainly asked questions. She never got any answers. Lucas would close right up on her. She didn't even know if he'd caught the man he'd gone after in Chicago. What was his name? She couldn't remember.
Love and trust went hand in hand. Taylor fell asleep praying for both.