Promoted: to Wife and Mother

CHAPTER ONE

PERDITA drummed her fingers on the sleeves of her jacket and tried not to look as if she were sulking. What a waste of time this so-called leadership development course was turning out to be! So far all she had done was spend hours filling out a questionnaire in the expectation that she would turn out to be a dolphin-warm, friendly, expressive-only to be informed that in spite of answering every question in a carefully dolphinesque way, she was in fact an attention-seeking peacock.

A peacock!

And, just to add to her humiliation, it appeared that she was the only peacock. Everybody else got to be a jolly, sociable dolphin or a nit-picking owl-not that Perdita would have wanted to be one of them-while she was left in the corner on her own.

She had known this course was a mistake. Not wanting to look as if she were envying the dolphins, who were all bonding madly and agreeing with each other in the corner, Perdita inspected her nail polish for chips instead, and was momentarily distracted in admiration of the colour.

Vixen, it was called. Now that was what she called a colour to be reckoned with. But the deep red might have been a give-away, she realised belatedly. The female dolphins probably stuck to a non-threatening pale pink and, as for the owls, they would be too busy checking their spreadsheets to even think about painting their nails.

Perdita sighed, tucked her hands away and started tapping a foot instead.

‘It looks like we’re the only two on our own. Do you think that means we belong together?’

Turning sharply, Perdita found herself looking into a pair of amused grey eyes, and she was conscious of a tiny jolt of recognition. It was the man who had arrived late the night before.

He had missed dinner and the introductory briefing, but she had noticed him later in the bar, although for the life of her Perdita hadn’t been able to work out why. It wasn’t as if he were particularly striking or different in any way. He was just a man-not particularly tall, not particularly handsome, not particularly anything.

Perdita couldn’t understand why she had noticed him at all.

She had been in the centre of a group who were definitely having the best fun, but he hadn’t made any attempt to come over and join them. Instead he had talked for a while with a quiet group of people-owls, probably-before disappearing and leaving Perdita feeling unaccountably piqued at his lack of interest.

But now here he was.

She studied him with interest. Up close, he was a lot less ordinary than he had appeared across the bar. The grey eyes were very keen, and creased with a fan of laughter lines, she couldn’t help noticing. She was always a sucker for those. The hint of humour made an intriguing contrast with his austere features and that firm, not to say stern, mouth.

Hmm. Not gorgeous, not even that attractive, taken bit by bit, Perdita decided, but she was uneasily aware that her hormones, which had been in hibernation since Nick had broken her heart, were definitely stirring.

Unaccountably ruffled by her reaction to him, Perdita put up her chin. ‘You don’t belong with me unless you’re a peacock,’ she told him and her bright brown gaze skimmed over his grey jumper and black trousers. ‘And I have to say that you don’t look like one to me!’

The corner of his mouth twitched in acknowledgement of his apparent lack of flair. ‘No, I’m not a peacock. Apparently I’m a panther,’ he said. His face was completely straight, but the grey eyes gleamed in a way that made Perdita feel quite…funny…

‘Really?’ she said, wondering if he were joking. According to the bumph they had been handed that morning, panthers were typical alpha males: forceful, decisive, ambitious and more than a little ruthless, and Perdita hadn’t been at all happy to discover that she was not just an attention-seeking peacock, but she also had a strong panther ascendant. Talk about an unappealing combination!

‘I wouldn’t have put you down as a panther,’ she told him honestly.

Although, on second thoughts, there was something about his mouth that made her think he probably wasn’t someone to mess with.

‘That’ll be my strong owl ascendant confusing you,’ he said and Perdita laughed.

‘Ah, so when you’re not prowling around dominating everyone, you’re poring over your spreadsheets and double-checking your calculations?’

‘While you peacocks hold court in the bar,’ he agreed suavely.

Perdita looked at him sharply, but it was impossible to tell whether he had noticed her last night after all, or was simply picking an easy example of what peacocks might do.

‘I wanted to be a dolphin,’ she confessed, just trace of sullenness in her voice, and he raised an eyebrow.

‘Why?’

‘Why?’ she echoed incredulously. ‘It’s obvious, isn’t it? Everybody loves dolphins. I don’t see why I’m not one, in fact,’ she grumbled. ‘I filled out the form really carefully. I was sure I’d be a dolphin. I mean, I’m friendly, aren’t I? I can do all that team stuff they’re supposed to be so good at.’

‘Dolphins are very patient and relaxed,’ he pointed out, and Perdita bridled.

‘I’m relaxed! I’m more relaxed than anyone! And I can be patient.’

In reply, he looked down to her pointy suede boots. One was tapping the floor and, as Perdita followed his gaze, she stopped it abruptly and jerked her foot back.

‘I’m just bored,’ she told him crossly. ‘I’ve had enough of standing here on my own while those owls and dolphins sit around bonding and congratulating each other on being good team members!’

She eyed the group of dolphins in the far corner sourly. ‘Look at them, all eek-eeking to each other! Any minute now they’ll be balancing balls on their nose and clapping their flippers.’

Her companion laughed. ‘You are definitely not a dolphin,’ he told her. ‘If ever I saw a peacock, it’s you!’

Perdita scowled. ‘And you would know so much about this because…?’ she asked sarcastically.

‘I’m observant.’

A smile hovered around his mouth as he studied Perdita, her slender figure quivering with annoyance. Even if she hadn’t been banished to a corner on her own, she would have stood out in the room-in any room, he decided.

Although not strictly pretty, she was immaculately groomed, but it wasn’t her looks that drew the eye. Instead, there was a vibrancy about her, a forcefulness of personality that was evident in the generous mouth, the lively planes of her face and the dark, sharp eyes, in the quick gestures and the way she threw back her head and laughed.

‘I saw you in the bar last night,’ he told her. ‘You had the biggest group around you and you were making them all laugh. And this morning, at breakfast, no one was really talking until you came in and sat down. You were the one who broke the ice when they were handing out the questionnaires.’

‘There you are,’ said Perdita, not quite sure whether to be pleased that he had noticed her after all or put out at the faint undercurrent of laughter in his voice that suggested he found her somehow amusing. ‘That proves I’m a dolphin, surely? I was being fun and friendly…those are dolphin characteristics,’ she pointed out.

‘Yes, but a dolphin just likes to play along with everyone else. That’s why they’re all getting on over there,’ he said, following her gaze to the group in the corner, who did indeed seem to be having a much better time than the owls at the other end of the room. ‘But, if you were in that group, you wouldn’t just sit there being like everyone else. You’d be dominating it completely, and the group dynamics would be quite different.’

‘I would not dominate it!’ Perdita’s dark eyes sparkled with temper.

‘Oh, yes, you would,’ he said coolly. ‘They would all be laughing and having fun, but you would be the one making it happen, and making sure that they were all looking at you.’

Perdita eyed him with dislike. She didn’t want to admit that there was a certain familiarity about the scenario he had just described. It wasn’t a comfortable feeling to think that a perfect stranger could see through her quite so easily.

‘How come you know so much about it, anyway?’ she demanded.

He shrugged. ‘I’m interested in people.’

‘That’s not very panther of you,’ she said waspishly, and he grinned, a surprising smile that made him look suddenly younger.

‘All right, I’m interested in getting the most out of the people who work for me,’ he conceded.

‘That sounds more like it,’ sniffed Perdita, who was still feeling oddly jolted by the suddenness of his smile. It had really been quite startling to see how completely it transformed him, and then was gone again. ‘You seem very well-informed,’ she added with just a trace of sarcasm. ‘Have you been on courses like this before?’

‘A few,’ he said carelessly. ‘What about you?’

‘No, this is my first.’

‘You surprise me. Most firms take management training seriously these days.’

‘My ex-boss didn’t think they were worth spending any money on. There was talk about an assertiveness course a couple of years ago, but my colleagues threatened to strike if I was allowed to go on it. The feeling was that if I were any more assertive than I already was I would be unbearable. All nonsense, of course,’ said Perdita, who had told this as a story against herself often enough now to be able to treat it as a joke just as everyone else did.

Almost.

The man didn’t laugh. ‘You might have found it useful,’ he said.

‘I doubt it,’ she said airily. ‘I’ve got no time for these courses, to be honest. I think they’re all a waste of time. I’ve got far too much to do to be messing around with all this nonsense about peacocks and panthers. What’s the point of it all?’

She hadn’t really meant it as more than a rhetorical question, but the man replied anyway.

‘It’s about leadership, isn’t it?’ he said. ‘The idea is that you can lead a team more effectively if you’re aware of the different personality types and can recognise the different strengths each individual can bring to a particular task. An effective leader is one who is able to create an environment in which everyone can contribute to the best of their ability. It’s not about one type being better than another. Ideally you need a range of personality types on your team-but only if you can identify the strengths and weaknesses of each, and get everyone working together rather than at cross-purposes.’

‘You’re obviously a convert,’ said Perdita, her wide mouth turning down dismissively.

‘And you’re not?’

‘I don’t think that discovering that I’m a peacock or whatever is going to make any difference to the way I work, certainly,’ she told him. ‘I do my job, and I do it well. I tell my staff what to do and they do it. How much more leadership do they need?’

‘And then you wonder why you’re not a dolphin,’ he murmured. ‘Is it possible that you have a panther ascendant instead?’

How had he guessed that? Perdita gave him a hostile look. She didn’t have to admit anything. ‘It’s all rubbish, anyway,’ she grumbled, avoiding a direct answer, but there was a gleam in his eyes that suggested he might have a pretty good idea about what it would have been in any case.

‘Then what are you doing here?’ he asked.

‘I’ve got no choice,’ she said. ‘The board have just appointed a new chief executive, some pretentious City hot shot who wants to impress us all with his forward thinking.’ Perdita snorted. ‘I think it’s all a lot of nonsense. The famous Edward Merrick hasn’t bothered to come and meet the workforce yet, but he’s already decided that all his executives will benefit from three days messing around in the Lake District.’

‘You don’t sound very impressed by him.’

‘Oh, I dare say he knows his stuff,’ Perdita acknowledged. ‘He’s got a great track record in turning companies around,’ she admitted grudgingly.

‘Then what’s the problem?’

‘I just think he should find out what’s happening on the ground before he starts swanning in and changing everything. OK, so the old chief executive lost his grip in the end, but the company is strong in lots of ways and frankly I’ve got better things to do than pander to a lot of fads about leadership.’

She pushed her hair behind her ears in an unconscious gesture of frustration. ‘Quite apart from anything else,’ she told him, ‘it’s really inconvenient timing-not that there’s ever a time when we aren’t busy in Operations. I keep thinking of all the work piling up when I’m away. I spent half the night catching up with emails as it is.’

Perhaps ‘half the night’ was a bit of an exaggeration, Perdita admitted to herself, but she had had to plug in her laptop and get on with some work. She couldn’t afford to treat these few days away like a total jolly, whatever some people-unspecified, she added mentally with a dark look at her companion-might think about her propensity for propping up the bar. She was a professional, after all, and it was obviously time to make sure that he knew it.

‘I’m Perdita, by the way,’ she said, offering her hand. ‘Perdita James. I’m Operations Manager for Bell Browning Engineering.’

He took her hand and smiled at her. ‘Ed Merrick,’ he said.

For a moment she was too taken up with the feel of his fingers wrapped firmly around hers to take in what he had said, but when the name finally registered Perdita’s carefully professional smile froze.

‘Ed?’ she echoed in a hollow voice, carefully withdrawing her hand. ‘Er…would that be Ed as in Edward, by any chance?’

‘Ed as in pretentious City hot-shot,’ he agreed equably.

Excellent. Perdita stifled a sigh. How to get off on completely the wrong foot with your new boss in one easy lesson by Perdita ‘Big Mouth’ James.

Her heart sank as she considered her options. She could fall back on the tried and tested technique of joking her way out of trouble, or she could make a grovelling apology.

Glancing at him, she was relieved to glimpse a glint of what she hoped was amusement in the grey eyes. Thank goodness he appeared to have a sense of humour! Grovelling wasn’t really her style, anyway.

So she leant forward confidingly. ‘I always think that if you’re going to have a good relationship, it’s best to start with an insult and then things can only get better,’ she said straight-faced.

‘Well, that’s one way of looking at it,’ said Edward Merrick, his look of amusement deepening. ‘I heard that you were famous for straight-talking,’ he went on, ‘but I hadn’t expected a practical demonstration quite so soon, I must admit!’

‘You mean you knew who I was all along?’ Perdita demanded, stiffening.

‘I’ve seen your CV,’ he said, ‘complete with a photograph that doesn’t do you justice at all.’

‘You should have told me who you were!’ Embarrassed at having been caught in unprofessional behaviour, Perdita characteristically went on the offensive. She was very glad that she hadn’t grovelled now! ‘I had no idea that you were going to be here. We thought there would just be the six of us.’

She looked over to where her colleagues were busy being owls, except for the head of Human Resources, who was a dolphin, of course. Had any of them realised that their new boss was among them? Surely one of them would have said if they had? She would have to warn them all off when they broke for coffee.

‘We were told that you wouldn’t be able to come,’ she added severely, glancing back at Edward Merrick, as if her indiscretion in describing her new boss to a perfect stranger was somehow his fault.

‘I didn’t think I was going to be able to make it,’ he said. ‘Things were getting very complicated on the home front, but there was a last minute change of plans so I booked myself in at the last minute.’

‘Without telling us?’

‘I imagine you were all on your way here before I decided,’ he said by way of an apology. ‘I just got in the car and drove up from London. It meant that I missed the original briefing and had no chance to introduce myself to you all over dinner. I was hoping to get a chance to do that this morning, but there hasn’t been any free time yet.’

‘And that wouldn’t have been nearly as much fun as letting us all make complete fools of ourselves first,’ said Perdita bitterly.

‘I haven’t met any of the others yet,’ said Ed. ‘For the record, I would have preferred to have met you all on your home ground, but this course comes highly recommended, and it doesn’t run again until the autumn, so I wanted to get everyone on it now if possible. And, when I thought about it, it seemed like a good opportunity for us to get to know each other before I move to Ellsborough permanently. That’s why it was worth my while to drive all the way up from London at the last minute.’

‘Oh, and I’m so glad you did!’ Perdita didn’t bother to disguise her sarcasm. ‘It’s just what I wanted, a chance to humiliate myself completely in front of my new boss!’

The corner of his mouth twitched. ‘I’d have known what you thought anyway,’ he pointed out. ‘You peacocks aren’t very good at disguising your feelings.’

‘Still, it was rude.’ Gritting her teeth, Perdita made herself apologise. ‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that about you being pretentious.’

‘Don’t worry about it,’ he said with a shrug. ‘You don’t get to be a panther without developing a very tough skin! Ah, good,’ he interrupted himself as there was a general movement at the other end of the room. ‘It looks as if something is happening now…’

Sure enough, the course facilitators were beginning to divide everybody up into groups and Perdita found herself separated from Edward Merrick.

Just as well, she thought, torn between relief and chagrin. She couldn’t believe what a mess she had made of her first meeting with him! It wasn’t that she had ever had any intention of grovelling to him, but it irked her that she had been betrayed into those careless remarks. Perdita had always prided herself on her professionalism and she was mortified at the idea of not appearing at her best.

Of course, Ed Merrick would probably say that was the peacock in her. What a lot of rubbish that was!

Determined to prove him wrong about her, Perdita resolved to sit quietly in her group and let everyone else do the talking this time. If Ed cared to glance her way, he would see that she wasn’t showing off, but blending in perfectly with all the owls and dolphins.

Unfortunately, she hadn’t taken into account just how uncomfortable it was for her to sit in silence. Everyone in the group had been given a few strips of paper each and there was an awkward pause as it became clear that they were going to have to work out the task themselves.

OK, she could do this, Perdita told herself, shifting uneasily. She would show Edward Merrick. She wouldn’t be the first to speak. She would let someone else take the lead.

But the silence was so oppressive that she couldn’t resist murmuring an aside about the facilitator to her neighbour, who started to laugh, and before she knew quite how it happened the rest were joining in an animated conversation. They had to be reminded of their task by the facilitator and, forgetting that she was supposed to be taking a back seat, Perdita was the first to lean forward with a suggestion.

After that, the ideas started coming thick and fast. ‘Wait, wait, wait!’ she cried, waving her hands around. ‘Slow down, people! We need to keep track of all this. Andy, why don’t you be chair?’

They were discussing the best way to proceed when Perdita happened to glance across at the neighbouring group, which just happened to include Ed Merrick, who just happened to look up at the same time. The cool grey gaze encompassed the animated group around Perdita and he smiled knowingly as his eyes met hers, and she flushed, knowing exactly what he was thinking.

What was it he had said? If you were in that group…you’d be dominating it completely…making sure that they were all looking at you.

Tilting her chin, she jerked her gaze crossly away. She had just wanted to get things happening or they would be here until teatime. Huffily, she tried to concentrate on the task in hand, but it wasn’t that challenging and, in spite of herself, her eyes kept wandering back to Ed’s group.

A panther like him was a fine one to talk about dominating! It was easy to see who was leading that group, although Perdita struggled to work out exactly how he was doing it. He wasn’t showing off or being loud or forceful or saying very much at all, in fact, but there was no question that Ed was the centre of his group quite as much as she was of hers.

It puzzled Perdita. She was very conscious of her own stylish outfit, painted nails and lipstick. The other women had gone for a much more casual look, but Perdita didn’t do casual-never had and never would. So perhaps it was inevitable that she should stand out within her group, but Ed had no such excuse. He was just sitting there, wearing that dull grey top with the sleeves carelessly pushed up his forearms. He wasn’t taller or better-dressed or better-looking than the others, but there was just something about him that made him stand out.

Studying him surreptitiously, Perdita could see the way the others in his group were deferring to him, but it didn’t make sense. If he were really the panther he claimed to be, shouldn’t he be riding roughshod over them all? Instead he seemed to be dominating the group by not doing very much at all.

The more she watched him over the day, though, the more Perdita recognised a quiet but steely strength to him that translated as a natural gravitas, a quality as unmistakable as it was hard to define. Ed didn’t need to snarl to control a situation, it seemed, and, although he was hardly prowling, he held himself with an enviable assurance that put her in mind of a big cat’s leashed power.

Maybe there was something pantherish about him after all, Perdita decided. It was lucky that he had told her about his owlish streak, or she might have had to be impressed. As it was, whenever she remembered the glimmer of amusement in his expression as he had told her about his owl ascendant, part of her wanted to laugh, while another part would squirm uneasily at the memory of the humorous gleam in his eyes and that unexpected smile.

She couldn’t even accuse Ed of being standoffish. As soon as she could, she had warned her colleagues that their new boss was among them, which meant that they, at least, were able to make a good impression on him. Perdita saw him talking to them all at one time or another, but he never made any effort to talk to her again. Perhaps it wasn’t that surprising after she had accused him of being pretentious, but she couldn’t help feeling a little miffed that he appeared to have dismissed her already.

The hotel was out in the wilds of the Lake District and after dinner there was nothing to do but head for the bar. A natural extrovert, Perdita was on sparkling form, but Ed was clearly unimpressed by her social skills, treating her on the few occasions their paths crossed that evening with a kind of amused detachment that left Perdita’s peacock feathers distinctly ruffled.

Some people were intimidated by her, she knew, some were dazzled, but most others tended to respond to her quick intelligence and humour. Not Edward Merrick, apparently. It wasn’t that he was openly rude or even ignoring her, but she couldn’t shake the sense that he thought that she was a bit silly and superficial somehow.

Perdita couldn’t put her finger on why she felt that. It might have been something to do with the arid edge to his voice when he spoke to her, or that disquieting gleam in the grey eyes that seemed to see much more than she really wanted them to. Whatever it was, Perdita didn’t like it one little bit.

Naturally, she responded by ignoring him and sparkling even harder, and if that made Ed decide she was even sillier than he had thought, that was tough. She couldn’t care less.

It didn’t stop her keeping a surreptitious eye on him as she held court, but for once it felt like hard work. When she saw him leave at last, Perdita should have been able to relax and be herself, but instead the evening seemed suddenly flat.

It was time she rang her mother anyway. Laughingly refusing the offers of a last drink that were pressed on her, Perdita made her escape from the bar. It was a relief to stop smiling when she got outside and she frowned slightly as she walked along the long corridor to her room.

What was the matter with her? She wasn’t usually like this. So Edward Merrick wasn’t that taken with her? It didn’t matter whether he liked her or not as long as they could have a good professional relationship. OK, that hadn’t got off to the best of starts when she had called him pretentious, but she had apologised, and he hadn’t seemed that bothered. There was no reason why they shouldn’t work together perfectly well, and if Ed didn’t want to be friends…well, she had plenty of friends already. She didn’t care.

Much.

Throwing herself on her bed, Perdita pulled out her BlackBerry and pressed the short dial to call her mother.

‘Mum? It’s me,’ she said when her mother answered. ‘How are you?’

As always, Helen James insisted that she was absolutely fine, but Perdita couldn’t help worrying about her. It was hard to put her finger on why, but her mother seemed to have got older and a little querulous quite suddenly. She wasn’t as active as she had once been, and the house she had once kept so immaculately clean had begun to seem less well cared for, as if she couldn’t be bothered with dusting and polishing any more.

Once or twice, Perdita had suggested getting her some help, but her mother refused point-blank to even consider the possibility. ‘I’m not having strangers poking around in my private business!’ she declared. ‘I suppose you’ll want to put me in a home next!’

She got so upset if Perdita tried to pursue the matter that, in the end, Perdita had to let it drop and took to calling in every couple of days instead to help out as discreetly as she could.

‘Millie popped in to say hello,’ her mother told her. ‘She said she was just passing.’

Perdita was relieved to hear no hint of suspicion in Helen’s voice. She had asked her best friend to look in on her mother while she was away on the course, but it had been a risk. If Helen had thought she was being checked up on, she would have been furious.

‘Oh? How was she?’

‘She’s put on weight since her divorce,’ her mother said disapprovingly. ‘She’ll have to be careful not to let herself go.’

Millie had more important things to worry about than her figure, Perdita reflected as she said goodbye to her mother. Her husband had left her with a huge mortgage and the main responsibility for caring for two teenage daughters, and there had been times when her friend’s buoyant sense of humour had been severely tested over the last few years.

Settling herself more comfortably against her pillows, Perdita rang Millie next to thank her. Typically, Millie brushed aside any gratitude. ‘It was fun,’ she said. ‘I always liked your mum. I created an elaborate charade to explain why I was passing in case she decided to interrogate me-you know how scary she can be-but she didn’t ask. I was quite disappointed!’

‘How did you think she was?’

‘She seemed fine to me,’ said Millie. ‘A bit older, of course, and I can see that she’s difficult but, let’s be honest, she was never the easiest of people in the first place, was she?’

‘No, that’s true.’ Perdita sighed. She loved her mother, but she had always been a rather prickly character.

‘Stop worrying about her and tell me about this course you’re on instead.’

‘It’s ridiculous,’ grumbled Perdita, obediently changing the subject. ‘They’ve divided us into personality types and they keep telling me I’m a peacock!’

Millie hooted with laughter. ‘I could have told them that!’

‘You don’t think I’d be a good dolphin?’ asked Perdita, a little put out.

‘Nope, you’re definitely a peacock. Your new boss could have saved the company hundreds of pounds if he’d just asked me instead of forking out for a whole course.’

‘Oh, talking of my new boss…he’s here!’ said Perdita, who had had enough of people failing to recognise the easygoing, fun-loving, dolphin aspects of her personality. She had thought Millie at least would have known her better!

‘No!’ Millie was gratifyingly intrigued by the news. ‘What’s he like?’

‘Well, he’s…’ Perdita stopped, realising that she didn’t really know how to describe Ed.

She knew what he looked like, could picture his face with alarming clarity, in fact: the cool eyes, the cool mouth, that unsettling gleam of humour. He had ordinary brown hair, greying at the temples, and that intriguing fan of laughter lines creasing the corner of his eyes. But she couldn’t tell Millie that.

‘He’s not what I was expecting,’ she finished lamely at last.

‘Oh?’ Millie prompted, drawing out the syllables with exaggerated effect. ‘Attractive?’

‘Not really…Well, sort of, I suppose…I don’t know!’ said Perdita, flustered when Millie started laughing.

‘He sounds gorgeous!’

‘He’s not gorgeous,’ snapped Perdita. ‘He’s just a sensible executive with greying hair who thinks I’m a bit silly.’ She told Millie about her faux pas and Millie seemed to think that was funny too.

‘It sounds as if you might have met your match at last, Perdita. Is he available?’

‘He doesn’t wear a wedding ring,’ said Perdita, and then was furious with herself for admitting that she had noticed.

‘Hmm…doesn’t mean anything,’ said Millie. ‘Find out more tomorrow and report back to me!’