Quinn's Quest

Chapter Ten

At first, nothing happened. Bethany swallowed back her disappointment. Maybe it was too soon.

Her wolf pushed at her skin and a low growl rumbled up from deep in her chest. She closed her eyes, hoping that might make the transformation easier. She saw the creature immediately. The picture in her mind was perfectly clear. The female wolf was beautiful—slender, with a graceful power that could not be denied. Her fur was varying shades of light brown. The creature’s eyes were hazel.

My eyes, she thought.

No, our eyes.

There was no difference. They were one and the same. Part of one another. Her muscles rippled and she jerked back, as though she could separate from the wolf and run away from this part of herself.

Fear ripped through her, but she quickly controlled it.

She could do this. She would do this.

Taking another deep breath, she focused on her wolf, on that other part of herself. Between one heartbeat and the next her hands began to change. Her fingers shortened and her nails lengthened.

She panted hard, desperately trying not to panic, accepting the change. Willing it to happen.

She bent over at the waist as her bones cracked and reformed. She should have been horrified by what was happening to her body, but instead was more intrigued by the entire process. It didn’t hurt. Not really. It seemed more normal than she’d imagined it would, like contorting herself into a particularly difficult yoga pose. The strangeness of it filtered through her brain even as her instincts took over and just did what needed to be done. She could feel her body actually contorting and taking on a new shape.

It happened so quickly she barely had time to begin to study the sensations rocketing through her before it was over. She was a wolf. Her new body was thickly muscled, compact and very strong.

The texture of her skin had changed. The cool air of the room no longer bothered her. Why would it? She had a thick coat of brown fur to keep her warm.

A warm muzzle rubbed against her jaw and she opened her eyes. Everything looked different. Sharper. Quinn was staring at her, concern in his pale blue eyes.

She was panting hard. Her tongue lolling out of her mouth. How unladylike was that? The thought made her laugh, but it sounded more like a chuff than a laugh. It was such a human reaction. And she was no longer totally human.

She glanced down at her forelegs, wishing she could see more of herself. Quinn circled her, sniffing her flanks, pausing between her back legs. He was sniffing her butt. She whirled around and nipped at him.

He growled and pounced on top of her, bringing her down to the floor and clamping his powerful jaws around her throat. He didn’t break the skin, didn’t hurt her, but he was certainly asserting his dominance. She growled back to let him know she wasn’t pleased.

He released her and licked at her muzzle as if in mute apology. He was fighting his wolf instincts as much as she was. She licked him back to let him know everything was okay between them.

Wolf kisses, she thought. And it made her smile.

This was so strange, yet it somehow felt right. She rolled up onto her paws and began to pace around the room. What she really wanted to do was run. But that wasn’t safe in a big city like Chicago. Maybe they could take a trip to the country sometime soon so she could test her legs. She longed to race through the woods with Quinn by her side, feeling the wind flowing over her fur.

Quinn shifted and she watched the procedure happen in reverse. Bones cracked, lengthened and reformed. His fur receded. His jaw shortened and his hands reappeared.

He was as comfortable naked as he was fully dressed and even more imposing, as if this was his natural state. He put his hands on his hips and stared at her.

She fought the urge to duck her head. She was strong and proud. She could do what she had to do and walk away when the time came.

Yes, she loved Quinn. That much was obvious to her. As impossible as it should have been in such a short time, it had still happened. There was no way she’d hold him to this mating if it wasn’t what he wanted. She wouldn’t repay his kindness, concern and understanding in that way.

“You are so beautiful.” He went down on his knees in front of her. She glided forward, feeling incredibly graceful. He rubbed his hands over her muzzle and jaw and along her head. His fingers were rough as they sifted through her fur. She shivered, craving his touch.

“Wait here.” He rose and went to the bathroom. He returned a moment later with a handheld shaving mirror. He held it down low. “Look at yourself. See how incredible you are.”

Bethany stared at the reflection of the wolf in the mirror. She looked exactly as she’d thought she would, exactly as she’d seen herself in her mind. The eyes that stared back belonged to her, but everything else was different. It was mind-blowing to look at the image in the mirror and know it was her.

Her fur was several shades of medium to light brown. Nothing special. Not like Quinn’s coloring. She wouldn’t have minded a cool blond streak or a flash of brown. But still, she thought she looked good. The hell with good. She was a freaking wolf. How cool was that.

Her body was extremely different, more compact and sturdy than her human form. She was stronger, her senses ramped up to amazing heights. She could hear traffic on the street, smell the chicken Teague was frying in the kitchen several stories below. It was almost overwhelming.

She turned one way and then another, trying to get a better view in the mirror. Quinn’s chuckle brought her back around. If she’d been in her human form, she knew she’d be blushing. As it was, she was still disconcerted.

“You look gorgeous,” he reassured her. “All sleek and supple muscle.” His voice grew deeper with each word he spoke. “How about you change back so I can show you just how beautiful I think you are?”

She shivered with growing desire. Knowing she’d never be able to shift with him staring at her, she closed her eyes. It was easier this time. She simply allowed the change to wash over her. It was natural and easy and a part of her. She and the wolf were one and the same.

The floor was cool beneath her bare butt. Her limbs felt more unwieldy, less powerful, even though she knew she was much stronger than the average human. Even more so now that she’d made her first change.

She blinked and closed her eyes again, slightly woozy at the sudden transition. The sights, smells and sounds faded back to a manageable level, but they were still more intense than they’d been before she’d changed. It seemed her transition had changed both her forms—human and wolf—making her more powerful in every way.

Adrenaline pumped through her body. Joy flooded her veins. “I did it.” She opened her eyes to find Quinn smiling down at her.

“You certainly did.” He said it as though he’d never had a doubt in the world. His faith in her made her heart swell. “Come here.” He reached down and helped her stand.

They were face-to-face, stomach-to-stomach. His erection prodded her belly. The heat from his body enveloped her. He took her hand and led her back to the bed.

He pulled down the covers and lay back on the mattress. “I took you, claimed you as my mate. Now it’s your turn to claim me.”

Bethany licked her lips. Oh, how she wanted this man. He was everything she’d ever wanted in a boyfriend, husband or mate. Whatever the name was didn’t matter. Quinn was loyal, honest, strong, intelligent and handsome as sin. He was also stubborn and relentless.

She was under no illusions that he was perfect. But then again, she didn’t want perfect. She wouldn’t be able to live up to that standard. She was as flawed as the next person.

All she’d ever wanted was someone to love and accept her. Quinn accepted her and cared for her, but long-lasting, forever love didn’t seem to be in the cards. After all, he’d already talked about letting her go, not the words of a man who was in love. But that was okay. She’d never regret their time together. And who knew, maybe he’d have a change of heart. No matter what happened between them, she decided she would have no regrets.

He was her first, last and only love. She knew that in her heart and decided to take full advantage of their time together.

She climbed onto the bed next to him and placed her hands on his chest. He sucked in a deep breath and his shaft jerked. He was as turned on as she was. It was a powerful feeling to control all this male strength beneath her hands, to know she was the one in charge.

The high from her first shift into her wolf hadn’t worn off yet either and it was heightening all her senses. The sensation would probably dissipate in time, but somehow she thought it might never completely fade away. She couldn’t imagine ever taking something that magical for granted.

She straddled his thighs to make it easier for her to touch him. His muscles were thick slabs that rippled when she touched them. His broad shoulders appeared positively enormous against the plain white sheets.

Her breasts ached for his touch so she grasped his hands with hers and brought them to the tender mounds. “Touch me,” she commanded.

“Whatever you want.” Quinn cupped her breasts, rubbing his thumb over her straining nipples. The heat that had dissipated deep inside her suddenly roared back to life. Moisture gathered between her thighs and her core began to pulse with a growing need to have him inside her once again.

She wanted to reconfirm their mating, but this time she wanted to see his face. There was no time to waste.

She rose up on her knees and leaned into his touch. His hands covered her breasts completely. They were so large and strong, capable of great violence, yet always so gentle with her.

Reaching down, she circled his cock and guided it toward her entrance. As she eased down, the thick head pushed inside. Bethany moaned, loving the way he stretched her snug channel to the limits, bringing her immense pleasure.

She watched him, her eyes never leaving his as she lowered herself the rest of the way. It was harder than she expected. Her inner muscles were still swollen and tender from their last bout of lovemaking.

Quinn gripped her hips. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

His concern sent a flood of moisture from her core and made her heart skip a beat. “You won’t,” she promised.

He nodded and slid his hands back up to her breasts, showing he trusted her to set the pace. He circled the mounds, making her nipples pucker even tighter.

Their joining wasn’t enough. His hands on her body weren’t enough. She needed to kiss him, to feel his lips against hers, to share their breath, the essence of life.

Bethany leaned down and traced his bottom lip with her tongue. He tasted warm and spicy. Masculine. She did the same with his top lip.

His cock swelled inside her, pushing deeper with the change in angle. He wrapped his arms around her and she felt surrounded by his big body and his caring.

His lips parted on a sigh and she teased the inside of his mouth. He groaned. One of his hands slid up her back to cup the back of her head, to hold her steady as he deepened the kiss.

Oh yes, this was what she wanted. Their tongues twined and teased. Their breath mingled. The kiss started out slowly, an exploration. It was like eating good dark chocolate. You wanted to do it slowly to enjoy every taste, every sensation.

Soon, that wasn’t enough. Both of them needed more.

Bethany moaned when Quinn tilted her head to one side to get a better angle. His tongue surged deep. He kissed her like doing so was the most essential thing in his world.

His cock throbbed deep in her core. She wanted to move but didn’t want to stop kissing Quinn. She rubbed her aching nipples against his chest, loving the feel of the crisp hair against them.

He surged upward until they were both sitting upright in bed. His cock pushed inward until there was no way he could go any farther. He was impossibly deep inside her and she knew she’d always remember this special moment. She gripped his shoulders for support as he continued to steal her breath.

She belonged to him and he belonged to her.

Neither of them spoke, unwilling to stop kissing long enough to do so. The moment was beyond words, beyond speech.

Quinn gripped her hips and lifted her slightly before dropping her back down. It was only an inch or two but it was enough to have her inner muscles clamping down on his shaft, begging for release.

He released her mouth and buried his face in the curve of her neck. “Bethany.” Her name was torn from him. His need was hers and hers was his. It was an endless cycle that went up and up and up until there was nowhere else to go.

Her climax started deep in her core and exploded outward, enveloping every cell in her body. She screamed his name, clinging tight to his broad shoulders, letting him anchor her in the sensual storm.

His cock rippled and moisture flooded her sheath. His orgasm sent her spiraling out of control again. Her body shook and shivered, taking a long time to come down from the high.

Quinn eased back down onto the bed, taking her with him. His semi-erect cock slipped from within her. She immediately missed the connection between them.

When she shivered, he gripped one edge of the covers and flipped them over her. It wasn’t perfect but it was enough for now.

He stroked her hair away from her face and she nuzzled his chest, loving the closeness in the aftermath of their lovemaking. She was totally sated and relaxed. The yawn took her by surprise. It was no wonder she was tired. It had been another long day.

“My life changed when Chrissten was kidnapped.”

Bethany stilled, resting her hand over Quinn’s heart. The steady thud was reassuring. She had a bad feeling about what he was about to say, but knew it was useless to try to stop him. Whatever he wanted to tell her, she needed to hear.

Settling more comfortably in his arms, she waited.

Quinn wanted to wallow in the aftermath of their lovemaking. He couldn’t call it sex because it was so much more than that. He loved the feel of her in his arms, warm and trusting. For the first time in his life the restlessness that had always been such a part of him was still and quiet. He was content.

And it was all a lie.

Bethany had to know the truth about him. It shamed him that he hadn’t told her before mating with her. She had no idea what kind of man he was. But it was time to tell her. He couldn’t go on this way.

He wanted to love her and keep her safe for their rest of their lives. But their mating wasn’t real and true because she didn’t know everything about him, about all the blood on his hands, the dark deeds he’d done.

Would she be lying in his arms if she knew?

His grip automatically tightened around her and he made himself relax his hold. He couldn’t keep her if she wanted to go. He couldn’t offer her much of a life right now. He couldn’t settle anywhere and make a home until he had his sister back. That much was a given. Wherever the search took him and for however long it took, he wouldn’t stop. What woman would want to commit to that? His search could go on for years.

He had to tell her the truth.

“My life changed when Chrissten was kidnapped.” He sensed the immediate change in Bethany. Her body was no longer relaxed but tense and alert. She seemed almost resigned to what he was about to say. He wondered what she was thinking.

She was amazing. He was still in awe of how easily she’d made her first change. A lot of half-breeds had trouble that first time. He’d fought it himself when he’d made his first shift into his wolf.

And she was so beautiful in her wolf form, all sleek muscle and thick fur. Delicate. Elegant. Strong. Was it any wonder he wanted her?

His wolf had wanted to howl with pleasure. Only the knowledge that such an act would bring everyone in the place running to the bedroom door allowed him to hold it in. He didn’t want anyone to interrupt his time with Bethany.

He stroked her hair, loving the way the silky strands slid through his fingers. “We knew what we were. My mother sat us down when we were in our teens and told us everything she knew about our father and werewolves in general. We thought she’d lost her mind.”

“It must have been difficult for all of you.”

Quinn ran his hand down her back and over her arm. “Not as difficult as things have been for you. You got all this dumped on you along with being kidnapped.” He kissed the top of her head. “You’re an amazing woman, Bethany.”

Her quiet, “Thank you,” made his heart constrict.

“It took me three tries to make my first change.” He knew he was avoiding the topic he needed to talk about. He’d get there eventually. First, he wanted to praise Bethany, to let her know how damn special she was.

She stirred in his arms and raised her head to look at him. “Really?”

He nodded. “Truly. Even though I knew what I was, I was resistant to the change, to being out of control. I think it was even harder because Chris couldn’t make the change with me.”

Bethany nodded and he pressed her head back down to his chest, wanting to regain the feeling of closeness. She went with a sigh and snuggled against him.

“Craig was a great help even though he was only a kid. He went on the Internet and hacked into paranormal bounty hunter websites getting all kinds of information.”

“He does have a way with computers.”

Quinn chuckled at the wry understatement. “He certainly does.” He stared at the ceiling, trying to order his thoughts. “I’d barely made my first change when Chris was kidnapped. I was angry and wild with grief. I mean, she was stronger than most humans, had keener senses and was street smart. I couldn’t understand how this could have happened to her.”

“It happens more easily than you think.” He heard the pain in her voice and wanted to kick his own ass for reminding her of her kidnapping. But it was essential he tell her everything. He’d already proven what a bastard he was by mating her without telling her everything she needed to know about him.

“I’m sorry,” he offered, the words totally inadequate. “I know this is hard for you.”

Bethany shivered and he held her closer, pulling the edge of the comforter more snugly over her shoulders. He knew she needed a hot shower to ease the aches she was going to have from all the vigorous sex they’d had. She also needed time to assimilate everything that had happened between them. But he knew if he didn’t tell her about himself now he might never find the courage to do so again.

“The only thing I could think of was that maybe the bounty hunters had taken her. I had no idea how they knew what she was. But we knew who they were. I figured maybe one of them was keeping tabs on us all those years, watching to see if we were human or half-breeds.”

“Makes sense.”

He nodded. The sky was lightening outside the window and dawn was close at hand. With it came obligations and responsibilities. He wanted it to remain night forever so he could stay here with Bethany in his arms.

“With the help of Craig’s research and computer skills, I was able to infiltrate the bounty hunters. It took a long time, months.”

Bethany tensed but he didn’t stop. He had to get all of this out now. “I worked with several groups of them, trying to find any scrap of information about a female half-breed.” He took a deep breath and forged ahead. “I killed several pureblooded werewolves, the kind that kill any half-breed they find. They don’t want the bloodlines diluted and think of us as mongrel dogs to be put down.”

Anger welled up inside him. “I don’t regret it.” And he didn’t, even though it had stained his soul. “I knew they’d kill Chris if they came across her. It gave me one less thing to worry about.”

“What about other werewolves?”

He tried to ignore how rigid Bethany was in his arms. He held her tight, not wanting her to run from him until he was done, knowing he’d release her if she fought him.

“I helped this pack when they were being targeted by the bounty hunters. I didn’t want any innocents hurt.” He could still remember turning his weapon on one of the men he’d worked with for months in order to save Isaiah’s life. It had been a calculated gamble on his part. He’d always walked the razor’s edge between doing what he knew was right and not getting caught by the bounty hunters. They’d have killed him in a split second if they’d known what he was.

“That’s why they’re helping you now?”

He shrugged. “I’m not sure. I think they’d have helped us anyway. They’re good folks.”

He needed her to understand what his life had been like. “I was with the bounty hunters for more than a year. I had almost no contact with Craig. I killed people, Bethany. Purist werewolves and bounty hunters. And I’m not sorry. I’d do it again in a heartbeat if I thought it would help me find Chris. The only thing I regret is wasting all that time not knowing it was neither of those groups that had taken her.”

He scrubbed his hand over his face. “Christ. Who would have thought it would be some crazy human scientist and a fanatical werewolf who had her? I can’t stop looking. Won’t stop. Not until I find Chris and bring her home.”

It was done. He’d told her everything. Now she knew all the blood that was on his hands.

“I should have told you this before we mated. I’m sorry for that.” They were the hardest words he’d ever uttered, but he said them. For her. “I’ll let you go when this is all done. I won’t hold you. You’ll be able to build a life of your own.”

Away from all the violence and bloodshed that had consumed his life. He didn’t say the words aloud. Didn’t have to. She would have been better off with one of the other males. At least they’d never lived a lie, not like he had.

The thought of her being with another male was like a dagger in his heart. It made him want to kill whatever male touched her.

Further proof that he wasn’t good enough for her.

Bethany stirred in his arms. He didn’t want to hear what she had to say, but there was no going back.

“Quinn,” she began.

A loud pounding came on the door, startling them both. He jerked his head toward the noise. Craig. Quinn could smell his brother’s fear and excitement. He jumped out of bed and strode to the door, ignoring the fact he was naked.

He yanked open the door. Craig’s eyes widened as they took in his nude state, but he averted his eyes so he wasn’t looking in the room. “Damek just called. He has a lead but dawn is too close. We’re leaving in five minutes.”

“I’ll be ready.” He shut the door and reached for his jeans.

Bethany jumped out of bed and raced for the bathroom, grabbing her clothing as she went. “Don’t leave without me.”

He stared at the closed door. Everything was different between them now. He’d gotten a reprieve, but it wouldn’t last. They’d have to talk when they came back home. No, not home. This wasn’t home for either of them. He couldn’t forget that. He was only here for as long as he knew his sister was in Chicago. If they moved her, he was gone.

And maybe the time for talking was done. Maybe it was better this way. He knew he needed to set Bethany free. He wasn’t worthy of her love, had already let down the other woman in his life, his twin sister. It was time to distance himself from Bethany, set her free to have the kind of life she deserved.

His chest ached as his heart slowly broke. Strange, he hadn’t thought he’d had much left to break, thought Chrissten’s kidnapping had numbed that vital organ permanently. Obviously, he’d been wrong. He swiped at the moisture gathering in his eyes and took a deep, calming breath. Fuck, this was no time to fall apart.

This was his chance to man up and do what was right. Bethany deserved the best life had to offer and he loved her enough to set her free. Maybe his sacrifice would help clear the stain from his soul. Even though he knew it was the right thing to do it was killing him to even consider letting Bethany go.

He shoved aside all his problems for now to focus on Chris. Hope began to build inside him. Maybe this was the time he found her. He sat on the edge of the bed and laced on his sneakers.

The bathroom door flew open and Bethany hurried out. She was dressed and both her face and hair was damp. She didn’t look at him, keeping her face averted.

He wanted to go to her and take her into his arms and reassure her that everything would be all right. Instead, he made the conscious decision to leave the silent wall between them. It would be easier on both of them in the long run.

His wolf howled in protest.

He ignored the beast, grabbed his shirt and yanked it on as he left the room. “Come on. We don’t want to keep the others waiting.”