Ravenous

Chapter 26

Holly awoke and leaped out of bed in one ungainly maneuver. She staggered, grabbed her robe, and looked around. Alessandro was gone, the sheets on the bed a tangled mass.

Where is he? Violent need smashed through her until her conscious mind overrode the venom. No, no, calm, calm, calm.

She shivered as she put on the robe, cool air caressing her sweat-dampened skin. Switching on the bedside lamp, she listened. Splashing came from the bathroom down the hall, the sound of the shower. Alessandro was up, but he hadn't left.

He wouldn't do that. Her nerves jittered. Would he?

Holly glanced at the bedside clock. It was eight at night. I slept through the day, just like a vampire. She was sore, aching, hungry, and bewildered. It felt as though Alessandro were a million miles away. She needed him by her side.

That's ridiculous. He's right down the hall. She sat down on the edge of the bed, fumbling on the floor for her slippers. She found one of his socks instead. Goddess, what a night.

A dozen thoughts clamored for attention, some making her body heat, others freezing her with misgivings. One stood out, different from the rest. The vision of Ashe was still with her, lost memories in place. Unblocked power rushed like fresh air through her system. Mixed with power, sex—especially sex like she'd just had—possessed magic of its own. That last bout of lovemaking had opened a door inside her, and the space and freedom of her magic suddenly belonged to her once more.

Experimentally she flicked all the candles in the room alight, then extinguished them. On. Off. On. Off. She could do that before, but now it came easily, like breathing. This is what it felt like when I was little. Before all that happened. Back when I wasn't afraid.

So much had been lost because of that single spell. Holly had mourned her parents, grieved for them for years, but their deaths had been only part of the tragedy. She'd lost Ashe, too.

And she'd grown afraid of her own power. If a spell could kill her parents, what other tragedies could magic cause? She was afraid of herself, and felt guilty because she hadn't known what to do to stop Ashe. With a child's sense of absolute justice, she had crippled her power to keep herself and everyone around her safe. She had even erased the memory of the spell and the months surrounding it.

That tragedy was finally drawing to a close. Holly touched her neck, shivering at the brush of her fingertips on Alessandro's bite. Just in time to make room for my future as a venom slave.

I can't live like this. Half of magic depended on the practitioner's clarity of will. She couldn't regain her memories and her magic just to lose them again, have to fight the mark, grab what I can of my life and hold on. Holly went downstairs to take a shower. Routine, her routine, untouched by another's will, was suddenly vital.

When she returned to the bedroom Alessandro was there, half-dressed. The bed lay rumpled and inviting behind him. Holly stopped in the doorway, her arms hugging her robe around her. The sight of him spiked her to the floor.

Need, desire, attraction, belonging. They were all good emotions—but not in this insane intensity. All Holly wanted to do was to pick up where they'd left off the night before, naked and writhing. A tiny whimper escaped her as she forced herself to stay put. I want him. I want him, Iwanthim.

He stopped what he was doing, his shirt in one hand. He studied her, amber eyes filled with concern. "How are you feeling?"

How can he even ask? Holly looked at the floor, not sure where to start. "If you don't cover up, I won't speak for my self-control."

There was a soft rustle of silk. When she looked up he had the shirt on but the buttons were undone, leaving a stripe of chest exposed. Not helpful She rubbed a hand over her face. "You're really good, you know. Hall of Sex Fame material. Whatever you did unblocked my magic."

His brows drew together. "I don't understand."

She told him about the dream.

"So that means your magic won't be painful anymore?" he asked.

"An interesting trade-off, isn't it?"

He drew closer, his fingers brushing the place on her neck where he had marked her. She flinched, more from his touch than from the wound. It was electric. Power still coursed between them, a continuous circuit pulling them together.

"Did I cause you pain?" he murmured, kissing her lips lightly. The lamplight turned his hair a silvery gold, bright against the dark fabric of his shirt.

"Some. The first time, yes. Fangs versus flesh." She closed the few inches between them, resting her hand against the bare skin of his chest. He was warm, full of her life. Desire dampened her sex. "Am I always going to want you so much?"

"Yes," he said, one hand stroking her hair. "I'm sorry." He said it with ineffable melancholy.

Holly gave an uncomfortable laugh. She couldn't stop stroking his smooth, strong muscles. Petting him. Reveling in his presence. "Isn't having a love slave supposed to be a good thing?"

The bedroom light was dim, the corners of the room in shadow. Holly felt as though her whole world were in that circle of lamplight, what fell outside it lost in the realms of myth. Alessandro pulled Holly to him, resting her head on his shoulder. It felt wonderful. Safe. Connected. Cherished.

His voice was deep, resonating in his chest. "A large part of me rejoices at binding you to me, but there is a cost. You're dear to me. I love you. I don't want to hurt you, ever, and I'm afraid I have."

Now that he had said the words, Holly could feel his control. It was part of that circuit, that binding of their energies that tied them together. The effect was an ultimate veto on her every thought or action. She walked and talked only because he let her. He hadn't compelled her yet, but that could change in a blink.

"Give me back my will."

"I would if I could. I don't know how."

Suddenly what had happened was cold and real. With the mark came an imperative to touch him. To pleasure him. To feed him. To ultimately be consumed by him until there was nothing left. This is how vampires survive.

A solemn feeling came over her, stilling every function of her body. She couldn't quite encompass the realization of what had happened. I can't do this. I can't be this way.

"I did it to save you."

Her gaze dragged up to Alessandro's face. "You're a predator."

"Maybe, but I lost something, too. You could have Chosen me. If I'd won your heart, you could have freed me from the blood hunger. I had hoped"—he said the word strangely, as if it were unfamiliar—"that we had a different future. One my curse couldn't touch."

His words wrenched her heart. "You never told me any of this."

He blinked, obviously fighting his own wash of emotion. "How could I? Not without blackmailing you. Not without admitting it to myself. Not without risking that you didn't love me, even when I adored you."

Holly's mouth was parched. She hurt for him. She hurt for herself. "I did love you."

"But not anymore." The words were barely there. "It doesn't matter; the Chosen is only a legend."

"I can't tell what's real anymore." Her eyes stung, but she was past tears. A heavy weight hung in her chest, dragging on her every breath. Through the circuit of their energy she knew Alessandro felt it, too.

They wanted to be together, but not like this.

Like an alien invader, the phone rang. It took a moment for Holly to register what the sound meant. At the same time Alessandro's cell phone pinged Beethoven's Fifth. They released each other, at once reluctant and relieved. They stood, holding hands, not quite ready to break the contact of skin to skin.

"I'll get the one in the office," Holly said.

"No, don't go," he said, the casual phrase of someone reluctant to release his lover.

And then it happened. The sound of the phones drifted away, meaningless. Holly snuggled back onto his chest, only dimly remembering there was something she had meant to do.

Alessandro's eyes grew wide. Holly saw the horror, but didn't understand it at first.

"What?" she asked.

His face twisted with self-loathing. "You were going to answer the phone. Go do it." His voice charred her with its bitter regret.

Sweet Hecate. She felt herself turn, helpless as a doll. Helpless as Mac being tossed into the garden. Holly stumbled to the den, disbelief numbing her limbs.

Kibs was sitting on the desk, staring at the phone. With a wave of guilt she wondered when she'd last filled his food bowl. He butted her hand as she picked up the receiver.

"Hey, kid," said Grandma. "I've got some info for you."

"Good. I could use answers about now." Holly sank down on the desk chair, sick with shock. What the hell just happened there? Was that a demonstration of his vampire power? It was far, far stronger than she would have guessed. I am in such trouble.

It made it hard to focus on her grandmother's voice. She wanted to say something, to beg for help, but the words just wouldn't come. Was it some magical compulsion, or just plain shame?

"I was consulting with colleagues about your demon problem. Some scuttlebutt came up that I thought you'd want to hear," Grandma began. Holly heard the flip of a page, as if her grandmother were consulting notes. "The best book on demon wrangling is something called The Book of Lies. Word has it that it was sold privately about a month ago. Dirty sale. Stolen from the vamp queen. Very hush-hush, go-betweens, the lot."

That was just interesting enough to snap Holly's mind back on track.

"Stolen from Omara?" She kept her voice low. So that's the book they were looking for! "Do they know who bought it?"

"Someone local with a lot of money. Seller was a vampire."

Inside job? She scratched Kibs's spine and was rewarded with a tail up her nose. "So you think this local buyer opened the portal with the book?"

"Yup. If you can get your hands on it, you're well on your way to getting rid of your demon friend. It also has a ton of spells for weakening hellspawn and making them easier to manage."

"Apparently the hellspawn's name is Geneva."

"That's the same one Elaine fought." Grandma's voice was hoarse with worry. "Look, we need more information before we tackle her. She's a nasty piece of work."

"What if things come to a head sooner?"

"Pray that doesn't happen. With or without the book, the only real tool you have is pure energy. If you can back the demon into a portal, use raw energy like a water cannon. They can't digest your power in that form. The two sources I found recommend Aurelia's matrix or the Caer Gwydion reduction spells to augment your control. That'll hold your demon, but it's going to take a lot of strength. For you, it's going to hurt like blazes."

"Okay." Maybe. Maybe not. With her power unblocked, she just might skip the agony part.

"The trick is closing the portal. When a working portal shuts, normally it just closes to a trickle on its own. If you slam it shut, it releases a blast of magic that'll kill you. That was the mistake Elaine made. Don't do that."

"So get the demon on the other side and hold it there till the hole closes on its own."

"Bingo. But. Be. Careful." It was the closest to fussing that Grandma would ever get, but Holly heard the unspoken fear in her voice.

Holly thought about her dream. Grandma needed to know all about it, but Holly didn't have the strength to discuss it. Not now. She took a deep breath. "Will raw energy kill the demon?"

"Enough will. Witches can't pull that much, though. We just don't have the juice."

Damn. "I left you a message about the Dark Larceny. That cop friend of mine…"

"If he's already started to Turn, it's doubtful you can pull him back. Too bad, I know."

Holly looked outside again. The lonely streets were desolately beautiful until the image drowned in tears. "He kissed me." The words were wistful, more a tribute than anything else. Poor Mac.

"Ah, he's a baby demon. No worries."

"I think his mistress gave him extra power. He's not so much a baby as her proxy."

Grandma paused a heartbeat, tension surging down the phone line like something solid. "That might screw up your magic for a bit, but you should get over it. Get the demon on the other side of the portal however you can, and it won't matter. She can't reach you from there."

Holly froze, the world shifting as Grandma's words hit home. "Someone said a vampire bite was the best antidote. Doesn't that work?"

Grandma laughed, but not with mirth. "Oh, yeah, it'll work, but there're better ways. That's like treating Ebola with bubonic plague. Why the hell would you do that?"