HARRIET arranged the extra worker as soon as she got home, while Darius called Kate to alert her about Harriet’s arrival.
They spent the rest of the day moving her things into Giant’s Beacon. Kate ceremoniously showed her round the four available bedrooms, promising to get to work on whichever Harriet chose.
‘You’ll probably prefer the one at the end of the corridor,’ Darius suggested, bland-faced.
It was certainly the most ‘proper’ room, being furthest from his, and having a lock on the door. It was also extremely ugly.
The nicest room was at the front of the house, just above the front door. There were two bay windows, a thick, newly laid carpet and a large comfortable-looking bed.
It was also directly opposite Darius’s room.
‘I wouldn’t choose this if I were you,’ Darius said. ‘It’s much too close to that fellow, and I’ve heard he’s a bad character. Give him a wide berth.’
‘And you’d know him better than anyone else, I suppose,’ she riposted.
‘Definitely. You shouldn’t even have been shown this room, even though it’s the most comfortable, and lovely in the mornings when the sun comes in.’
‘Yes, I noticed it was facing the dawn.’
‘But it doesn’t have a lock on the door,’ he pointed out.
‘Ah, but he’s promised not to trouble me. If he keeps his word, why would I need a lock?’
‘That’s very true.’
‘And if he doesn’t-I’ll set Phantom on him.’
‘There’s a threat to frighten a man.’
‘So I think-’ She threw herself onto the soft mattress, and Phantom jumped up beside her. ‘Yes, I think we’ll have this one.’ She turned to her companion. ‘Do you agree?’
Woof!
‘Then if everyone’s satisfied,’ Darius said, ‘we’ll call it a day, and be ready to leave early tomorrow.’
The helicopter was there on the dot, sweeping them off to the airport near London. From there a car took them to the house where the children were staying. Mark and Frankie were watching from the window, and yelled with delight when they saw them.
‘Dad! You came!’ Frankie cried.
‘But of course I came. I said I would.’
They didn’t reply, but Harriet wondered how often in the past he hadn’t been there when he said he would.
The housekeeper appeared, saying that their hostess wouldn’t come downstairs because of her illness, but she sent her thanks and best wishes. Darius returned a message of condolence, and they were ready to go.
As they left the house Harriet happened to notice the children exchanging glances, and was almost certain that she heard Mark whisper, ‘I told you she’d come.’
On the journey home they made her talk about Herringdean, yearning for the moment when they could look down at it from high in the air. When that moment finally came they were speechless, gazing open-mouthed at so much beauty. Darius, watching them, understood.
‘That’s what I thought when I first saw it,’ he said. ‘The loveliest place in the world.’
They nodded agreement, but Harriet detected a slight bafflement in their manner. Their father had actually said that? Who was he trying to kid?
At last it was time to land and make their way to Giant’s Beacon. As she had expected, their first meeting with Phantom was joyful. Since he asked nothing better than to be the centre of attention all the time and they had lots of attention to give, they forged an instant three-way friendship.
After supper she and Kate saw them to bed with the promise of plenty of action next day. They were already yawning and climbed into bed without argument.
Downstairs, Darius poured her a glass of wine and raised his own glass in salute.
‘To you,’ he said. ‘Without you, none of this would be happening.’
‘But it is happening. Now it’s up to you to make the best of it.’
‘Did you see their faces when I told them I felt the same as they when I first saw Herringdean? They didn’t really believe I could feel that way.’ He added wryly, ‘Any more than you did.’
‘I wish you’d stop brooding about that. It was a lifetime ago. You’re not the same man.’
‘Maybe not,’ he murmured. ‘But who am I now?’
‘You’ll find that out with them.’
‘And you?’
‘No. This is you and them. I’m not really a part of it.’
‘That’s not true and you know it,’ he said quietly.
Suddenly she was faced with a dilemma. His words offered her the chance to turn the conversation in a direction that tempted her. Try as she might to stop her heart inclining towards him, it seemed to have a life of its own, beating more intensely when he was near, bringing her alive in his presence in a way that wasn’t true at any other time. A little cleverness, a little scheming, and she could secure him. It would be so easy, if only-
If only she could bring herself to settle for second best, for a marriage in which she gave love in return only for gratitude.
‘Why did you sigh?’ he asked. ‘Did I offend you by saying that?’
‘No, of course not.’
‘I really forced you here against your will, didn’t I? I’m sorry.’
‘There’s nothing to be sorry for. Stop being so gloomy. Now, I’m going to take Phantom out for a walk before I go to bed.’
‘I’ll come with you.’
‘Better not,’ she said quickly. ‘He wants me to himself for a while. Goodnight.’
She slipped away before he could say any more, escaping from the danger that always hovered in his presence these days, hurrying out of the house, signalling Phantom to follow her. Darius watched them run away in the moonlight, and only when they were out of sight did he climb the stairs to find two little faces looking down at him.
‘Dad, Dad!’
‘What are you two doing up? You should be asleep.’
‘Harry’s gone,’ Frankie wailed. ‘She took Phantom with her.’
‘Don’t panic. They’ve just gone for a walk. They’ll be back.’
‘Promise!’ she demanded.
‘Word of honour. And if she doesn’t I’ll go and fetch them. Now, back to bed.’
They vanished obediently and he, being naïve, assumed they had obeyed him. It was only later, as he strolled in the garden watching for Harriet’s return, that he realised they were looking out of the window over his head.
‘Is she coming yet?’ Mark called.
Darius was about to admonish them when he had the strangest sensation that Harriet was there, reading his mind, shaking her head in disapproval. Enlightenment dawned.
‘Come on down and we’ll wait together,’ he called back.
They darted away, appearing in the garden a moment later. Kate brought out milkshakes and they sat around a small table, chatting to pass the time. Darius described his first encounter with Phantom. Once, the thought of anyone, even-or especially-his own children-knowing about that undignified incident would have filled him with horror. Now, he found himself describing it in detail, relishing their shrieks of laughter.
Harriet would have been proud of him, he felt.
‘Perhaps we should go with her next time,’ Frankie suggested.
‘You don’t have to keep guard over her,’ Darius said. ‘She’s not going to run away.’
‘Really? She’ll stay with us for ever and ever?’
‘That’s for her to say,’ Darius said quietly.
A mysterious understanding was creeping over him. Like himself, they had seen Harriet in a light that set her apart from everyone else, as though she possessed a special power that acted like a shield against all the evil of the world. Those she defended were safe. Those she loved were fortunate beyond their dreams.
The difference between them was that they had seen at once what he had taken time to understand. And that delay might be his undoing. But for now he must profit by her influence to find the right words for his children’s questions. He crossed his fingers, hoping against hope for wisdom.
But before he could speak Harriet again intervened to save him.
‘Here she is,’ Frankie cried, bounding up and pointing to two figures emerging from the trees.
She and Mark made off at top speed and in the riot of noisy delight nobody noticed Darius closing his eyes and thanking a merciful fate. When he was calm again he strolled towards her, calling, ‘Nice to see you back.’
Harriet smiled at him. ‘Nice to be back,’ she said.
His eyes held hers. ‘Really?’
‘Yes, really. Right, you kids. Bed.’
When that job was done she leaned against the wall, yawning. ‘I’m nodding off right here.’
‘Go and get some sleep, because you’re going to need it.’
‘You too. Goodnight.’
Harriet slept until the early hours, then got up and glanced out of the window. From here she could just see a glow of light that she knew came from Darius’s office.
Throwing on her dressing gown, she slipped downstairs. From behind the door she could hear him on the phone.
‘I accessed the website half an hour ago and there’s no doubt-I know how to fight this-I’ve already put things in place that’ll make them think twice-don’t worry, I’ve got it in hand.’
He sounded almost like the man she’d heard before vowing, ‘No mercy’, but she sensed something different. The cruelty had gone from his voice and only the determination remained.
As he hung up she opened the door and found him staring at the screen. He looked round and smiled wanly.
‘Don’t you ever sleep?’ she asked.
‘I’m trying to catch up at night so that I can be free during the day. There are things I still have to do.’
‘You poor soul. Can I do anything to help?’
‘I’d be glad of a coffee.’
She disappeared into the kitchen, returning with a full mug a few minutes later, only to find him dozing. She set down the mug and laid a gentle hand on his shoulder, so that he awoke at once, looking up at her with a faint smile. She had never seen him so vulnerable, never been so dangerously close to loving him.
‘I’m going to do it,’ he said. ‘You’ll be proud of me, teacher.’
‘I was proud of you tonight,’ she said. ‘When I saw you sitting outside with them, cracking jokes. You must have been telling them a great story to make them laugh like that.’
‘Yes, they really enjoyed hearing how their dad looked like a total prat.’
‘I don’t believe you said anything like that.’ When Darius simply grinned she said, ‘Well, go on, I can’t stand the curiosity. Tell, tell!’
‘It was about our first meeting-the way Phantom flattened me on the sand. I thought they’d enjoy it, and they did.’
‘You actually managed to tell that story?’ she breathed in astonishment and admiration. ‘How come?’
‘You told me to,’ he said simply.
‘I never-’ She stopped. ‘When did I?’
‘There and then.’
‘But I wasn’t there.’
‘Yes, you were. You were right there with me. You always are. Even when you’re not there, you are there. Didn’t you know?’
‘No,’ she murmured.
His gaze intensified. ‘I guess there are a lot of things you don’t know.’
‘I guess there are.’
‘I’m glad I’m not the only one who’s confused.’
Everything was in a whirl. He was telling her something she longed with all her heart to hear, to believe; telling her not with words but with his eyes, with his hesitant tone, with his uncertainty that seemed to say everything was in her hands.
Playing for time, she said lightly, ‘The great financier is never confused.’
‘That’s what he used to think,’ he agreed. ‘So when the confusion came he didn’t know how to cope with it.’
A soft buzz came from the screen.
‘You’ve got an email,’ she said. ‘I’m going back to bed. So should you. Get some sleep.’
She slipped away and ran back to her room, telling herself that she was glad of the interruption that had saved her from saying and doing things that she would regret.
If she tried really hard she might even manage to believe that.
Mark and Frankie were instinctively happy outdoors. Town life bored them, and escaping to the island lifted them to seventh heaven. They revelled in the visit to Harriet’s little yacht, and the trip out to sea, gaining particular pleasure from their father’s ignorance, even greater than their own, and the way he addressed Harriet as ‘Captain’. Several times Harriet caught them exchanging knowing glances.
At home she took charge, banishing Darius to the office to catch up with his work while she and Kate saw to supper.
‘Isn’t Dad having supper with us?’ Mark asked.
‘The poor man’s got to do a little work,’ Harriet said. ‘Last night he worked late so that he could spend the day with you. Now, I’ll take his supper in to him.’
‘Are you and Dad going to get married?’ Frankie asked.
‘It’s much too soon to think of anything like that,’ Harriet said quickly. ‘We’re just friends for now, and we’re not rushing it. Don’t mention it to him.’
Frankie nodded wisely. Harriet was left staring at Darius’s office door. He’d been closing it when Frankie asked her question, and although Harriet tried to believe that he couldn’t have heard anything she’d noticed the way the door was suddenly still for a moment, before being shut.
At the end of the evening he emerged to join them for a walk with Phantom, and perhaps only Harriet noticed that he was unusually quiet. Later, when the children had gone to bed and the house was quiet, it wasn’t a surprise when he knocked on her bedroom door.
‘I just wanted to say I’m sorry that Frankie embarrassed you,’ he said, coming in. ‘She’s too young to understand that…well, things have to happen slowly.’
‘You’re right,’ she said. ‘Going slowly can save you from a lot of mistakes.’
‘Does that mean anything special?’ he asked, almost daring to hope.
‘I guess it does.’ She fell silent.
‘Harriet,’ he whispered, ‘don’t shut me out. Not any more.’
She sighed. ‘I rushed into marriage with Brad…I was so young…ah, well…’
‘Don’t stop there,’ he begged. ‘Talk to me. You keep everything bolted and barred, and you shouldn’t.’
‘I know. I don’t mean to but I’ve hidden the truth for so long that it’s hard to change now. My neighbours think we were the perfect couple, and that’s what I wanted them to think. I’d have been ashamed for them to know the truth. I loved Brad so much but he…well, he just took my love for granted and did as he liked.’
‘Go on,’ he said gently. ‘Harriet, please tell me everything. You know so much about me, but you hide from me and keep me on the outside.’
She drew away suddenly and went to the window, throwing back her head, breathing harshly. She felt as though she were being torn in two directions. It had taken her so long to reach this point and now her courage was failing her. She saw Darius watching her closely, with an expression so gentle that she reached out to him without even realising.
At once he went to her. ‘Tell me,’ he said again. ‘Don’t shut me out. If only I could make you understand how important it is.’
‘Why?’ she whispered.
He answered by laying his lips tenderly on hers, leaving them for just a moment.
‘Can you understand now?’ he asked.
She searched his face. ‘I’m not sure. I’m so confused.’
‘Trust me, Harriet. That’s all I ask.’
She rested her head against him. ‘Our marriage was a mistake. I rushed into love, and when it went wrong I wouldn’t admit to myself that he wasn’t the man I’d thought. I don’t think he was ever really faithful to me, but nobody else knew because he was away so often.
‘In the end he left me for a woman he’d met in America. He went to live with her over there, and they died together in a car crash. I still have the last letter he wrote me, demanding a quick divorce because his lover was pregnant. That really hurt because I’d always wanted children and he was the one who insisted on waiting.
‘It’s strange, but after what he did to me, the thing I’ll really never be able to forgive him for is the way he abandoned Phantom. That poor dog adored him. When Brad was away he’d sit at the window, watching and watching until he returned. Then he’d go mad with happiness.
‘I loved Phantom too, but I always knew I was second best to him. And when Brad said he was leaving him behind-I couldn’t believe he could be so cruel. It was her fault. She didn’t want him, so Brad simply tossed him out of his life.’
Darius uttered one word, vulgar and full of feeling.
‘That’s what I said,’ Harriet agreed.
‘I’ll never forget the day he left. Phantom watched him loading his things into the car. He began to wail, then to howl, and he ran after Brad and tried to get between him and the front door. I’ll swear he knew what was happening, and was begging not to be left behind.
‘Brad pushed him aside and shouted at him. Then he went out and got into the car. Phantom followed, but suddenly everything seemed to drain out of him, and he just sat there in the road while the car vanished. I hated Brad at that moment. I could forgive him for leaving me, but not for breaking that poor creature’s heart.
‘After that, Phantom sat at the window every day, waiting for his return. Then one day he didn’t go to the window, but just lay there staring into space. He knew it was final.
‘I’ve tried to make it up to him. I tell him how much I love him, and I promise that I’ll never, never desert him or let him down in any way.’
‘Harriet, you’re talking about him as though he was a person.’
‘I suppose that’s how I think of him, except that he’s more loyal and loving than any human being. I think he’s happy with me now, but I wonder if he still mourns Brad.’
‘Perhaps that depends on you,’ Darius said carefully. ‘If he can tell that you still mourn Brad-’
‘But I don’t,’ she said, a little too quickly, he thought. ‘He’s a part of my life that’s over. I love Phantom for his own sake. How could I not love him when he’s so lovable?’
‘And when he reminds you of Brad,’ Darius said. ‘Are you sure you aren’t hiding from the truth, just a little? Are you really over him?’
‘That was another life, another world. It doesn’t even feel like me any more.’
That was a clever reply, he thought wryly, because it sounded like a denial without actually being one.
‘What about this world?’ he asked, choosing his words carefully.
‘This is the one that matters. I know that. It’s just so hard to know where I belong in it. Sometimes I feel I never will know.’ She searched his face.
‘I can help you there,’ he said, laying his mouth over hers and murmuring through the kiss. ‘This is where you belong, in my arms, in my heart.’
She silenced him with the soft pressure of her own mouth, reaching up to caress his face before sliding one hand behind his head. She’d fought so hard to cling onto caution, but now she banished it without another thought. Whatever pain the future might hold, she would risk it in return for the beauty of this moment.
When she felt him drawing her to the bed she went willingly. Now everything in her wanted what was about to happen. Fear and mistrust were set aside as she felt a new self coming to life within her, and knew that this was the self that was always meant to be, a self that could yield joyfully to passion, but for whom tenderness mattered as much, or even more.
For, dazzling as was the physical pleasure, it was the look in his eyes that made her sigh with happiness as he brought her to the moment they both longed for. And afterwards it was the strength of his arms around her that carried her safely back to earth.
Now, at last, she knew where she belonged.