Revenge of the Middle-Aged Woman

Chapter Twenty-one

The minute he heard the news, Nathan drove over to Lakey Street. I opened the door and almost did not recognize the figure in the crumpled shirt and shorts. In Greece he had obviously got very sunburnt and the skin on his face and arms was still peeling.

He surged into the hall and Poppy came tearing down the stairs and flung herself into her father’s arms. He hugged her convulsively. ‘What have you done, my girl?’

She beat his chest with her fist. ‘What have you done?’

This was a private exchange, so I left them to it and went out into the garden.

The fountain splashed contentedly. The delphiniums had shaken out a late and final giddy display of blue and white parasols and the Ligularia had put forth garish orange flowers. ‘Rose?’ Nathan had appeared on the patio. There were tears on his cheeks and he wiped them away with the back of his hand, then ran his fingers through his hair. ‘I can’t believe she’s married that man. Has he been in touch with you? He hasn’t contacted me.’ His expression was as bleak as I had ever seen it. ‘Did we go wrong? Or is this Poppy?’

I wanted to pull him close and tell him that, yes, he had been a good father, the best, which was what he was driving at. His own culpability in the situation. ‘It’s not a question of where we’ve gone wrong. Getting married without us does not make Poppy bad. Or us bad parents. We had got used to thinking of our children as children, not as separate people. Poppy’s reminded us, that’s all.’

Nathan rubbed the burnt triangle at his throat. ‘What’s she been living on all these months while she’s been floating round the world? We didn’t give her much.’

The question had crossed my mind. ‘Presumably she and Richard pooled their resources.’

‘Richard’s resources! He wouldn’t recognize a resource if it sat in his lap. That man has welfare dependency written all over him.’ We had only met Richard three times but Nathan prided himself on his instant character assessment. (To be fair, he was often correct.)

I stared at this crude reincarnation of the Victorian father. ‘You don’t mean that.’

‘I suppose not.’ A bundle of bamboo stakes lay on the path. Nathan seized the nearest and drove it savagely into the flowerbed. ‘I’m damned if I’ll give her a party. She can bloody well go to a pub.’

Tactfully, I waited until Nathan had hauled out his handkerchief and wiped his face and hands before I said, ‘We have to accept this marriage, Nathan.’

He looked even bleaker as he shifted the options around in his mind. ‘Are you all right?’

‘Fine.’

He gave the still quivering cane a kick. ‘While I’m here, Rosie, I have to talk to you about the house.’

I stiffened and, because I was frightened at what was coming next, I sounded sharper than I intended. ‘Don’t call me Rosie.’

‘But…’ He gave an offended shrug. ‘If that’s what you prefer.’

It was ridiculous that we were sparring over a nickname but I asked, as calmly as I could, ‘What did you want to talk to me about?’

Nathan straightened up and assumed his office voice – always a bad sign. ‘Please think about what I’m going to say. What if I bought you out of your half of the house?’ Then he added, in the same smooth tone, ‘After it had been valued professionally’

‘What?’

Nathan retreated to the garden bench, sat down and patted the space beside him. I ignored the invitation, which meant that he had to look up at me as he put his case.

‘It would save money, which you will need. We could do it quickly and without too many middlemen.’ He faltered at my expression. ‘We have to be practical.’

I said childishly, ‘I don’t have to be. Not any longer.’

‘Yes, you do, Rosie… Rose. Please don’t let your anger get in the way of what makes sense.’

‘I’m not letting Minty set foot in my house.’

‘My house, too.’

‘But you left it,’ I blazed at him.

There was a difficult, dangerous silence. This was like being rejected all over again but worse: it made me feel that Nathan had shrunk and his grand gesture of striking out for freedom had not been that at all. I could understand his wild, sweeping decision, his uncharacteristic unpredictability, which at least had been courageous and bold, but not this feeble putt, designed to restore the status quo, except with a different woman.

I turned on my heel and went inside.

‘Will you please listen to me?’ Nathan hotfooted after me into the sitting room, where I dropped into the blue chair.

I shook my head. ‘No need. I’ve got the general idea. I agree to give our house up to you and Minty. It’s simple enough and extremely simple for you and your… Well, I don’t know what term I should use for Minty. There are so many.’

‘I mean well.’

I thought about that one and decided to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I was puzzled. ‘I thought you wanted to break out.’

Wisely, Nathan ignored the comment. ‘You’ll do better out of it.’ He inspected the catch on the french windows. ‘This looks dicey. I’d better call Charlie and ask him to come over and mend it.’

‘If you like.’

‘As I’m not here to see to things, it would be best.’ He gave it a final rattle. ‘I’m glad you see my point of view.’

‘I don’t. No, that’s not quite correct. I can quite see how the convenience appeals to you but what I can’t understand is how you could possibly suggest such a hurtful arrangement. You know what the house means… our house, Nathan. At least Henry VIII beheaded his wives.’

‘What a ridiculous thing to say’ Now Nathan was looking at me as if I was someone at work who needed to be dealt with sharply. ‘I know it sounds awful but if you allow yourself time to think.’ He spread his hands in the reasonable, negotiating gesture that he had off pat. ‘You know as well as I do that what appears to be one thing is often different when stock is taken.’

Certainly that had been true of Flora Madder. ‘Can’t you see? I don’t want to give up my house, though I know I’m going to have to… I certainly don’t want to give it up to Minty.’

There was an audible gasp. Both of us swivelled round. Poppy was in the doorway, her mouth set and white. ‘Have I gone mad or are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting, Dad?’

Nathan looked thunderstruck, and struggled: ‘It’s between me and your mother.’

‘No, it isn’t.’ Poppy.’ advanced into the room. ‘Sam and I have to put up with what you’ve done, too. It’s bad enough that you’ve left, without turning Mum out like a beggar. I think I have a right to a view on that.’

I almost smiled; I almost wept. ‘Poppy darling, your father and I will sort this out.’

‘Well, speak up, Mum. Don’t let him walk all over you.’

‘He isn’t, Poppy’

‘You could have fooled me. Fact: Dad buggers off with another woman and, not content with looking a fool – although, I agree, there are lots of other men to keep him company – he wants to turf you out of our home so he can install his trophy woman here without any trouble to him. He won’t even have to pack,’ She turned to Nathan. ‘Full marks for economy of effort, Dad.’ Under her onslaught Nathan turned white. ‘It’s true, isn’t it, Dad? Isn’t it?

Now Nathan was grey. When he had first taken Minty into his arms and helped himself to that glossy body, he could not have imagined for one minute that he would have to endure the lash of his daughter’s judgement. ‘Apologize,’ he said, through clenched teeth.

‘No, I won’t. I’m out of the net. I’m an independent woman.’

‘Well, that’s good.’ Nathan lost the battle with his temper. ‘I’ll stop the allowance. And if you think you’re getting a party because you want to celebrate the fact that you married that idiot, you can think again.’

I stepped forward and put a hand on his arm. ‘Nathan, enough.’

Poppy whipped off her glasses and dropped them on to the table. ‘Isn’t that like you?’ she spat back, eyes huge with fury. ‘“If you don’t do what I want…” I thought you were supposed to be my father who supports me. I knew it. I knew it. The minute I do something my way… Richard warned me.’

And what did Richard say about our family, about which he knows precisely nothing?’

‘Perhaps that’s because you never so much as said good morning to him without making it perfectly plain what you felt.’ Half blind without the glasses, she thrust her face at Nathan. ‘You’ve conveniently abandoned Mum, and now you want to abandon me, and you can’t possibly bring yourself to be nice to my husband. Well, fine’. She fumbled on the table for her glasses and snatched them up. ‘I’d better warn Sam that he’s next.’

She ran from the room and up the stairs.

Nathan sat down abruptly. He looked much older, and wretched. ‘She’s right,’ I said flatly. ‘You should support her.’

Nathan stared at the fountain. ‘I hate that thing,’ he said. ‘Always have.’

‘I’ll turn it off.’

Nathan failed to master his feelings, and they spilled over. ‘If I had been told only a year ago that I would find myself in this position, Rose, I would have laughed myself sick. I probably wouldn’t even have listened. Now, I hate myself. Why? I thought I had it so clear in my head. Minty arrived out of the blue, and I thought I knew why, but I don’t think I did. Or do. And I don’t have time to sit down and work it out.’

‘It’s too late for explanations.’ I bit my lip. ‘But I can’t understand why you let it go so far.’

‘She bewitched me. I was at an age when I wanted to be bewitched. A middle-aged man. The stuff of comedy. Very simple, really.’

I caught my breath. Does she still bewitch you? I wanted to ask him. ‘Isn’t it curious, Nathan, how much more orderly and loyal children are? Far better behaved than adults, with their affairs, divorces and mayhem.’

Nathan’s lips twitched. About the house, Rose. I promise I was thinking of you as well as me. Being able to give you more money, I mean.’

Upstairs, Poppy was moving about, drawers opened and shut. There was a blast of pop music. The sounds were upsetting and discordant. Then she ran downstairs into the hall, talking away into her mobile. ‘You were right… He’s unreasonable… I hate him. My father…’

Nathan winced and his face distorted.

Once upon a time, I had imagined that I would die when I left Hal. But I didn’t. Instead I grew and, like the green tree in the story, gave forth fruit and flourished. Depending on your point of view, it was a happy ending. But I had learnt I was not the kind of woman to whom the Good Fairy automatically gravitated: I had to make my own happy endings. Which brought me back to a question of will.

I planted myself in front of him. ‘Nathan, I hope Minty and her bewitchment is worth it. You must make it worth it. We can’t go through all this only for you to say you don’t know why you did it. You can’t be fuzzy and undecided while everything is being destroyed.’

In response, he dropped his head into his hands. I felt anguished by this exchange, anguished about Poppy. Equally, I knew I would not die from love, abandonment, or losing my house. It was no use thinking about the pelican plucking out the feathers from her bloody breast to help her young. My downy, precious daughter needed help and some sort of order had to be pulled from this family’s chaos.

I closed the sitting-room door. ‘Now, listen to me. Here’s the deal. If you agree to back Poppy and give a party to show the world we’re happy and approve, I will sell my half of the house to you.’ I leant back against the door. ‘But I will insist on the full price. As you have pointed out, I must be practical. I also insist that I stay here until at least the spring. You owe me that.’

The door handle was smooth and cold under my fingers. I shut my eyes. She had won. Cool, thieving Minty would click through this house on her kitten heels. Invader and plunderer, her hands would touch my things, my shelter, my spaces.

I understood her better now, much better than when she had worked for me. The answers had come to me during the nights, the wakeful ones, the ones without dreams. Minty had become frightened by life hurtling past. She was worried that she had been in the sun too long and was in danger of drying up.

‘Nathan, does Minty know of this grand plan?’

He had the grace to look discomforted. ‘I thought I’d settle it with you first.’

What would Minty say? Would it be as straightforward as Nathan had calculated? Probably not, but that was Nathan’s business. I said quickly, ‘If you behave over the party, I’ll undertake to deal with the rest of the details as quickly as I can.’

Nathan got up and rested his hands on the mantelpiece, sifting over the pros and cons. The money. Could he forgive Poppy? How much longer could he tolerate living in Minty’s cramped flat? ‘You mean it?’

‘Yes, I do.’

I felt a sudden release. The lance of a boil. I had let go.

Nathan poked at a china saucer and figurine, which was all that remained on the mantelpiece since the removal of his mother’s vase, and dislodged my wedding ring, which had remained there ever since I had taken it off all those months ago. He picked it up, frowned, and rolled it between his fingers. ‘Will you replace Parsley? I mean, of course you can’t replace … but will you get another cat one day?’

‘I’d rather replace my cat than replace a wedding ring.’

Nathan winced. ‘I see. OK.’ He put down the ring and pulled out his car keys. ‘It’s a deal, then.’

Still leaning on the door, I explored the thinner curves of my waist and back, which felt good. ‘Incidentally, won’t this house be too big for you?’

Nathan jingled the keys in a self-conscious manner and I knew that something was coming that had a bearing on the conversation and that should have been mentioned earlier. ‘Actually, Rose, Minty wants to start a family.’ Nathan frowned. ‘She’s keen. Very keen. It would make sense to be here.’

‘I think you’re mad.’ Vee dabbed crossly at the peppermint teabags in the mugs.

We were in her rustic kitchen (rustic in urbs, that is), to which I had fled. A collection of herbs and saucepans hung from a stainless-steel butcher’s rack in the ceiling, and there was an amphora-shaped jar of sun-dried tomatoes in oil by the stove. Vee had been doing her get-ready-for-autumn wash. The whole place smelt of damp pashminas (‘too damn expensive to dry-clean them’), which were draped over clothes horses. Our conversation was punctuated by the shrieks of the children, who were in front of the television at one end of the kitchen.

‘What are they watching?’ I asked.

Vee glanced in the direction of the television. ‘It’s a safety video. It teaches them not to talk to strangers, never to accept sweets, that sort of thing, and to tell an adult if they see anyone hanging around.’

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught a frame of a man in a beige raincoat sitting on a park bench and two children running away from him.

Annabel was lying on her stomach and had buried her face in the floor. Mark was fiddling with a brightly coloured train, but, every so often, he glanced up at the television with the fascination of a rabbit caught in headlights. ‘Won’t that frighten them, Vee, looking at such stuff? Unnecessarily?’

‘But they have to be frightened, Rose. Life is frightening and dangerous. I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t warn them.’

‘At this rate they’ll never trust anyone.’

Vee sat down. ‘But they shouldn’t. Don’t you think? They should never trust anyone.’ She shoved a mug at me. ‘Don’t you think you’ve let that creature walk all over you?’

‘I did it for Poppy. I wanted to. I’m perfectly OK about it. No, that’s not quite true. I can’t believe… I can’t quite take on board Nathan and her trying for a family.’

Vee looked as though I’d lost my wits. ‘Sweetie-pie, you have to get through this and emerge intact. Take it from one who knows.’ Her expression sharpened. ‘I was far too nice. That was my vice. It’s yours too.’

In her difficult divorce, Vee had won the court case against the erring Robert, which meant he tendered up a large portion of his not-so-fulsome income, plus the house. I was well aware that, behind Vee’s doe-eyed exterior, lurked considerable strategic powers. ‘You weren’t very nice to Robert.’

Vee opened the doe eyes even wider. ‘Oh, that wasn’t me. That was the lawyers.’ She picked up her mug. ‘She’s in your house,’ she hissed, ‘poking through all your things. Sleeping in your bed. Hanging her clothes in your cupboard…’

I took a mouthful of the peppermint tea. It was sweet and digestible, warming and healthy. ‘I had thought of that,’ I said, and smiled.

I was making Poppy a late lunch when Kim Boyle rang up. I sat on the table, put my feet on a chair and prepared to gossip. Kim was an old colleague who had gone off to the rival Daily Dispatch. ‘I’m off to the States tomorrow,’ he said, ‘but I want to see you.’

‘That’s nice.’

‘For your insider knowledge, of course.’

‘Of course.’

‘And a possible little job attached to it.’

I felt a familiar pricking in my thumbs. ‘You want to pay me to divulge my Vistemax secrets.’ I liked the idea of being a woman with desirable secrets.

‘We want to know what’s going on and we could do with your experience.’

I reminded Kim that I was several months out of date, but I knew how they thought. Kim said this was precisely what he had thought and, if a job was in the offing and he could sort it out in the next few months, when could I start?

We agreed that January would be as good a time as any. ‘By the way,’ he added, ‘I’m sorry about you and Nathan.’

‘Nathan decided on a new lease of life.’

Kim clicked his tongue down the phone. ‘Old dogs and new tricks. I can’t make up my mind if it’s comic or tragic. Or there-for-the-grace-of-God-go-I.’