Revived

twenty-five

Since Revive is staying at home, we get to fly to Seattle. I’m glad about it, but something about seeing people say goodbye to one another at the security gate sets me off. I bite the inside of my cheek to hold back tears, increasingly frustrated by what happened with Matt, worried about Audrey, and concerned about Case 22 and the program overall. Once I’m through the metal detector, I tell Mason and Cassie I’ll meet them at the gate. Then I spend some time coming unglued and piecing myself back together in the privacy of the foul-smelling airport bathroom.

On the plane, I turn on my most miserable playlist and speak to no one the entire flight. In fact, I pretend to be asleep once we’re in the air, and keep pretending through snack service and turbulence. Just before we land, I finally remove my earbuds and put away my iPod. The flight attendant says it’s okay to turn our phones back on, and I’m happy to find a text waiting from Audrey.

With fresh tears popping into my eyes, I write back:

There is a pause, then Audrey texts again:

Smiling, I type:

Audrey’s giving me something to hold on to.

I type:

But something’s nudging me, so I type:

I desperately want to be happy for Audrey, but something about the possibility of surgery now, when it’s never been an option before, makes me feel skeptical. But I don’t want to be a downer.

I put away the phone and Mason looks over at me quizzically. His tall frame is squished into the aisle seat. Despite her height, Cassie has room to spare in the middle.

“Everything okay?” Mason asks.

“I’m not sure,” I say, pressing my head against the window as we pull up at the gate, incredibly thankful that my fellow travelers are a disinterested fembot and a man who’s never been one to pry.

We check in to the hotel, have dinner, and bid one another goodnight. After posting a response to Megan’s note about my theory that Monday morning is clearly better than Sunday night, I check my email.

There’s nothing from Matt.

I start a movie, but it’s a romantic comedy, and all it does is make me see how unfunny my life is. I turn it off and climb into bed hoping tomorrow will be a better day. Before I turn out the lights, I text Megan.

In the morning, Mason is reading an email on his phone when I join him and Cassie in the lobby. He frowns at the text on the screen, and then shows it to Cassie.

“Interesting,” she says as we walk to the car.

“To say the least,” Mason mutters.

When we’re all buckled in, I ask what’s going on.

“God seems to be starting another lab.”

“Why?” I ask. “Isn’t the one in Virginia doing well?”

“It is,” Mason says. “It was custom made for the program in its current iteration. The only reason I can think that he’d want another one is…” His voice trails off, like he’s considering his words.

“What?” I ask.

Cassie lets out her breath sharply. Sometimes I think she gets annoyed by how much Mason shares with me. But Mason tells me anyway.

“Expansion.”

I’m still wondering what Mason meant when Cassie knocks twice on the Holloways’ door. When Megan’s mom, Alicia, flings it open, I jump in front of my parental figures to hug her. The apartment smells like the world’s best banana muffins, and instantly, I’m calmer.

They’re halcyon muffins.

I smile at the thought of the SAT word, thinking that Matt would laugh. Then I remember our fight and eject him from my thoughts.

“Come in,” Alicia says to the three of us. “How are you?”

She’s one of those people who are so joyful that you fall in love with her instantly. Mason beams at her—sometimes I think he has a little crush—and even Cassie reciprocates when Alicia gives her a quick side hug.

“Now, where’s that Megan?” Alicia says, looking around the open-air loft.

“Did I hear my name?” calls a lowish voice, and Megan rounds the corner from behind one of the few interior walls in the apartment. In a flowery dress, with enviable white-blond locks and the thickest eyelashes I’ve ever seen, my soul sister–born a brother is beautiful. I stifle a laugh as she overplays a silly, sexy walk; she reminds me of a Slinky. I rush her and crush her with a hug.

“Hi,” I say into her pretty hair.

“Hi,” she says, squeezing me back. “How’s my girl?”

“Okay,” I say, holding on. Megan’s strong embrace reminds me a little of Matt’s, and tears pop into my eyes. Suddenly I’m crying and laughing at the same time.

Megan lets go and steps back to examine me.

“I’d say we have some catching up to do.”

I grin, so glad to be here.