Rock the Beat

Chapter 10

Gorilla

Holly

The moment we’re inside the office, Trip’s hands are everywhere. He’s tugging on my clothes and threading his fingers in my hair, pulling me deeper into his kiss. I’ve never felt so wanted and desired before. It’s like he can’t get enough of me and I love the way that makes me feel.

He backs me up against the counter and runs his hands down my bare shoulder, then down my torso, before finally settling on my hips. He grips my waist and hoists me onto the counter with ease. The hem of my blue dress stretches and it creeps up my thighs as Trip pushes himself between my legs. His lips attack mine again and I throw my hands in his hair to try and immerse myself in him more.

Trip wraps his arms around me and tugs me closer, but never stops kissing me. The weight of his body rubbing against me causes me to tingle all over. My panties grow wet as the sensation of the ridged material of his jeans presses against the sensitive flesh between my legs.

I’d be lying to myself if I say I haven’t wanted this with him since that night in the bar. No man has ever been able to make me aroused this quickly. There’s just something about him that’s very animalistic and I’m drawn to his take-charge attitude. The way he blatantly wants me is such a turn on. This is a man that goes for exactly what he wants and doesn’t make any excuses about it, which makes it even crazier that it’s me he wants. Every woman desires that.

“God, you’re all I want, Holly. I’ve dreamed of this moment since I first kissed you,” Trip says. “You’re the only woman that’s ever drove me crazy like this.”

Every instinct in my body is telling me he’s telling the truth. I can’t explain it, only that I feel it. It’s then I realize it’s him. It’s been him for a while now. Jackson has only been my excuse to allow acting on the attraction I’ve felt for him since that night in the club. I’ve wanted Trip for so long. All those nights lying awake in my room at night I spent dreaming of him should’ve told me that. If I really loved Jackson, I wouldn’t have been giving Trip a second thought.

I pull back and stare into his green eyes. “Trip…” I say his name almost like a whisper. “I …” I pause. I can’t just come out and tell him I think I have feelings for him. What if this has all been just a big game for him. I can’t chance it. I don’t want my heart crushed.

Trip grabs my face in his hands, rubbing his thumbs against my cheeks. “You what, Holly? Tell me. I need to hear you say it.”

I hesitate. “What do you want me to say?”

He swallows hard and pulls our faces close enough for me to feel his breath on my lips. “If you feel something for me, tell me now. Please, tell me because I can’t stop thinking about you and I don’t know what to do about it.”

I close my eyes and touch my forehead to his. “This is so complicated.”

“It doesn’t have to be. Just say the words. Tell me you don’t want to be with Jackson, that you really want me. I don’t think I can stand by and watch him touch you one more goddamn day. You belong with me.”

How can I not tell him I feel the same way after he’s laid out his feelings so clearly. I open my eyes to meet his gaze. I grab the hem of his shirt and tug him closer to me. “It’s you that I want. Not Jackson.”

That’s all it takes for Trip to crush his lip to mine. This kiss is different. It’s more intense, and I can tell where this one is leading, there’s no going back.

Trip’s hand roams under my dress and his fingers find the wet spot on my underwear. “You don’t know how fucking sexy that is and how badly I want a taste.”

My toes try to curl inside my stilettos and my body is too turned on to worry about being shy now. “Then what’s stopping you?”

A devilish smile creeps onto his face. “I love a bossy woman.” He kisses my lips. “Lift your ass up.”

I raise my hips as he ordered and he shoves my dress up around my waist before ripping my panties. I hiss as he pulls the fabric from my body. He’s taking what he wants and not apologizing for it. There’s nothing sexier than that.

Trip tugs the straps of my dress over my shoulders and then pulls the top of my dress down. The warmth of his hands is amazing as he kneads my breasts on the outside of my bra. The index and middle fingers of his right hand slip inside and push my bra down, revealing my puckered pink nipple. After he does the same thing to the other side he kisses a trail down my throat before heading further south and sucking on my nipple. I allow my head to fall back and I sigh as I run my fingers through his hair.

He drops to his knees and grabs my ass, yanking my pussy closer to his mouth. “The first time I fuck you, it’s going to be fast. I won’t last once I slip inside you. I’ve wanted this too damn long. There’s no way I can hold back. But the second time I’m going to go slow, so I can savor every inch of that beautiful body of yours.”

He doesn’t give me any time to debate him on the issue. The heat of his tongue against my throbbing clit is almost more than I can handle. After a few flicks, my legs resting over his shoulders begin to shake. I grab his hair as a tingle erupts and then spreads completely over my body.

“Oh, God,” I moan as my body erupts in complete euphoria.

Trip stands and kisses my lips, allowing me to taste myself on him. “Watching you come is even hotter than I imagined. I can’t wait to bury myself inside you.”

He reaches in his pocket and pulls out a condom before unzipping his pants. I lean up and shove his jeans and boxers down around his ass. His large cock springs free and I wrap my hand around it and begin to playfully stroke him while he opens the wrapper.

He hands me the rubber. “Put it on me.”

I take the slippery condom from him and pinch the tip as I roll it down his shaft to the base. Trip’s hooded eyes rake over my body as I lean back on my elbows and open my legs for him. I’m so turned on by the look on his face. It’s as if he can’t take his eyes off me.

Trip leans down and kisses my lips. “You don’t know how much I’ve thought about you just like this. I promised myself I wouldn’t fuck you, but damn it, I can’t help myself. I’m a selfish bastard and I can’t make myself not want you.”

I melt into him and wrap my legs around his waist before attacking his lips. “I want you too—ever since that night in the club.”

He groans as he penetrates me with the head of his cock. “So fucking tight. If I didn’t know better, I would think you’re a virgin.”

“Don’t be gentle,” I whisper, wanting to feel him moving inside me.

Trip pushes his entire length in and then pulls it back out so he can do it again. “You feel so fucking good. I don’t want this to end.”

“It doesn’t have to,” I say.

“Promise?” He asks, staring into my eyes.

I nod and he picks up the pace, pumping into me faster and harder. After a few minutes sweat slicks his skin, and I run my hands up and down his back as his balls slap against me.

I stare up at his face and watch him bite his lip, like he’s trying to make this last as long as he can while he gazes at me. The idea of him enjoying the way I feel causes another orgasm to rip through me.

“Trip!” I cry out his name and his movements become more ridged and intense.

“Ah, fuck. Yeah.” He follows my release with his own and collapses on top of me, peppering my face with soft kisses. “You are so fucking amazing.”

I giggle beneath him and play with the wild strands of hair poking out from his head. “I have to say that was a first for me.”

Trip raises his head and looks me in the eye. “What was?”

I shrug. “An orgasm.”

His eyes widen. “You’ve never had one before?”

“Oh, I have, just never with someone else involved.” A blush creeps over my cheeks as I admit that out loud.

“Really?” He lifts an eyebrow and grins. “Get ready, sweetness. There’s a whole lot more where that came from. I’m the self-proclaimed Orgasm King.”

I laugh. “By yourself doesn’t count.”

He shifts his hips and slides his still erect shaft back and forth inside me. “You know it’s true. I just gave you two in less than fifteen minutes.”

“Mmm…maybe you better show me again so I can see if you warrant that title,” I tease.

“It’ll be your pleasure.” He smirks as he goes to work kissing on my neck.

TRIP

Holly leans back against my chest and I wrap my arms around her before kissing the top of her head. It’s been a long time since I’ve cuddled like this after sex. Normally I stick to fucking in a neutral space so I can easily escape without all the expected sappy time after the fun. But this time is different. I want to be here with Holly. In fact, just like I was afraid of, now that I’ve gotten a real taste of her sweetness, I’m fucking addicted.

She traces light circles on my forearm with the tips of her fingers. “What are you thinking about?”

I sigh. “About how I’ll never be able to leave this place now.”

“Oh?” I hear the curiosity in her voice. “Why’s that?”

“Because of you,” I answer truthfully. “You’re a pretty amazing woman.”

She turns in my arms and throws her legs over one of mine while we sit on the shop’s counter. “I’ll never be able to look at this counter again. Every time I see it, I’ll think of you…us…and tonight.”

“Who says it has to be just tonight?” I ask with optimism. “I’d be willing to stick around a little longer.”

She turns her gaze up to mine. “Don’t you have bands to manage? Won’t they miss you?”

I shrug. “They’re kind of on break right now. Besides, maybe if you and I work out, you’d come on the road with me for a while, after we get this business back on the right track.”

She shakes her head. “I don’t know, Trip. Being around famous people just isn’t my thing. I’m just not into the whole drug and party scene—not to mention what jackasses they are. Look at Jackson for crying out loud. He’s just gotten a little taste of fame and he’s so full of himself he can barely see straight.”

My heart sinks. “Not all famous people are like that, and for the record, I’m almost positive Jackson’s always been a douchebag.”

“You’re right. I don’t know how I missed it all these years. I guess now I understand why my dad won’t listen to reason about my mom. He still loves her after everything she’s done to him—us—and lets her walk all over him. I never understood why he did that, but I guess I’ve been sort of doing the same thing with Jackson. He’s never really treated me very well.”

“I’m glad you got away from him, and who knows, maybe your dad will wise up one day too.”

“I don’t think he will. He’s still giving her money, which is a bad thing considering she’s a drug addict.”

“Bill told me about her,” I say, not wanting to pretend that I don’t already know Bill and Grace’s history.

“What did he say?” she whispers.

My stomach ties in a knot as I think about Bill trusting me with his HIV secret, and making me promise not to tell Holly or he’ll expose my identity to her, which would be bad. She just sat here and said she hates people like me. I need more time to prove to her I’m a decent guy. I like having her around, and I want to keep it that way.

She’s still waiting on me to answer her, so I say, “Not much, just that the two of you no longer get along and he talked a little about why that was.”

“I can hardly look at her. She doesn’t even look like my mom anymore. Every time she comes around, I’m reminded of how she chose drugs over us, and despite everything my dad is always willing to help her. I just don’t understand. I’m so scared I’ll be like her someday. That’s why I went away to college and was studying psychology. I guess I was hoping if I understood why addicts do the things they do, I would be able to stop that from happening to me.”

I tip her chin with my finger, making her look up at me. “You won’t be like her. You’re too smart for that.”

Holly gives me a sad smile. “I hope you’re right.”

“I know I am.” I kiss her lips.

She bats away a tear from her eye. “I’m sorry I’m crying. I know that’s a guy’s worst nightmare after sex.”

I wipe another tear from her beautiful face. “Holding you in my arms is far from a nightmare, Holly. I’m glad you’re opening up to me. It means you trust me.”

“I do trust you. I know I gave you a hard time when you first got here, but that’s only because I love this track and I didn’t think someone who looked like you could care about this place the way I do. You’ve proved me wrong since you’ve been here, putting all the work into getting to know everything about the place and us. I never did thank you for convincing your friend to go into business with Dad. That was really amazing, so…thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” I smile.

“I still don’t know much about you though. Tell me something about yourself—something personal.”

I clear my throat. If I want to be with this girl she might as well know the darkest details about me. “I was married once.”

She instantly stiffens in my arms. “Ma—married? When?”

“I was nineteen, and stupid. It didn’t end well.”

“What happened?” Holly asks as she sits up straighter in my arms.

I pinch a strand of her blonde hair between my fingers and twirl it as I gather my thoughts. “The typical thing that happens to most marriages involving young people—she found someone else, but neglected to tell me about it until I caught them together.”

She gasps. “That’s terrible! You found them in bed together?”

“No. I used to play in a band, and when we took a quick break, I found Jessica, my wife at the time, practically fucking some dude in the corner of the bar. I didn’t think Jessica was a willing participant, so I reacted like any other man protecting his wife would. I grabbed the guy and nearly beat him to death, thinking he was forcing himself on her…only he wasn’t. She had been seeing the guy behind my back for as long as we had been married.” I take a breath. “I ended up going to jail for assault that night. They both pressed charges against me. She told the cops I hit her that night too, but I didn’t. I have a fucked up criminal record now because of her.”

Holly looks up at me. “Trip, that’s…I don’t know what I can say other than I’m sorry that you had to go through that.”

I give her a sad smile. “It was a long time ago. I learned how to deal and move on from it.”

“Is that why you’re the way you are?” she questions softly.

“What do you mean?”

She sighs. “The first night I met you at the bar, you went from me straight into the arms of another woman. Then when you came here and kept coming onto me the way you did, and how you seemed like the type that never took anything seriously, I figured you only wanted to have sex with me. I labeled you as a player without ever knowing you because I never dreamed you had this other side to you.”

“A non-player side, you mean?” I tease.

“That, and how smart you really are.” She taps the binder lying on the counter top. “In the couple weeks you’ve been here, you’ve organized this place and helped point out all the spots where Dad was losing money. I can see you believe in this place, and want to help it succeed. That made me change my mind about you, and I even found myself thinking about you more and more often.”

I smile. “Are you trying to say that you are falling for me, Holly?”

She laughs. “I don’t know what I’m saying, but I do know that when you first came here I would’ve never pictured myself in this moment—wrapped in your arms after having the best sex of my life.”

To hear her say some of the same things I’m thinking right now is crazy. “I know exactly what you mean. Ever since Jessica, I’ve kept my emotions on lock-down. I’ve never spent much time with a woman until you. Normally I just…” I freeze trying to refrain from sounding like a complete asshole.

“Normally you just have sex and then get rid of them?” She fills in the blanks.

“Yeah…that makes me sound like a shallow fuck,” I admit.

She nods. “It does, but given what you’ve been through with your ex-wife, I understand why you’re like that. I don’t know what makes me so different, though.”

“In the bar when I first kissed you, I’ll admit I had every intention of sleeping with you and then walking away. I know that’s harsh, but it’s the truth. I saw you and I wanted you. I didn’t even care if Max was with you or not. I planned on stealing you away from him, taking you to my hotel and having my way with you. But Max threw a wrench in that plan with he dragged you away. I stood there for a second, debating whether to chase you down…”

“But?” she prods.

“Another chick threw herself willingly into my arms and latched her lips on mine, so I took the easy way out. I figured Max was your jealous boyfriend and if I went after you there would be a fight. As much as you probably don’t believe it, I try to avoid those at all costs. I, more than anyone, know how quickly a simple fight can escalate to the point where the law gets involved.”

“Is that why you didn’t hit Jackson back the other day?”

My nose tingles at the thought of Jackson sucker punching me. If things were different, I would’ve beat that little shit into the ground. “It is. When I was a kid, I fought all the time. I fought with my brother, other kids at school, whoever. All it took was someone to look at me wrong and I would go after them without a second thought. Spending time in jail, and then living on probation for a year, really opened my eyes and I realized that sometimes it’s better to just walk away.”

Holly shoves her hair back from her face. “She really screwed you up, didn’t she?”

I sigh. “She did, but I try to focus on the positive side of things. If I hadn’t gone through all the things I have in my life, I wouldn’t be here, right now, with you. This”—I squeeze her in my arms—“is amazing. You’re amazing. I can’t explain why, but I’m happy being with you.”

She snuggles into my chest. “Me too. All this time, I thought Jackson was who I wanted, but tonight, it’s like I saw his true colors. He’s not who I thought he was, but more importantly, lately he’s not the man that’s been on my mind all the time either.”

I rest my chin on her head as I think about just how she’s been on my mind too. “You’ve been thinking about me? Why didn’t you say anything? Since that day on the couch, all I’ve done is dream about you. I didn’t say anything to you, because you never mentioned it. You barely looked at me after that. I figured you regretted it and were doing your best to forget, which hurt.”

She pulls away so she can face me. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I felt confused and I had to take a step back from you. I’m not the kind of girl that sleeps around and I wasn’t sure I was ready for that with you yet. I felt a connection with you, and I’m pretty sure you felt it too, but part of me was still in love with Jackson. I had to sort out everything I was feeling for both of you.”

I tuck a strand behind her ear. “I guess I can understand that. You were with Jackson a long time. Are you sure things are really over between the two of you? I need to know now because when I fall in love, I fall hard. I don’t want you to give me yourself now, but then decide you still love him.”

I swallow as I wait on her answer, knowing exactly how dangerous it is to open up my heart to someone again. Something I swore to myself I’d never do again.

Holly touches my face with her fingers. “It’s hard to say this, but I’m over Jackson. I know now what we had wasn’t love. I mean, real love wouldn’t make you feel bad about yourself, or hurt you all the time, right? I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m still searching for the right guy.”

I bite the corner of my lower lip. “And you think that’s me?”

She shrugs. “I have no idea. I just want someone’s unconditional love—something that’s true.”

I thread my fingers through hers. “Everyone wants that.”

I don’t believe I’ve ever said a more true statement in my life. I had always been a hopeless romantic until Jessica crushed the idea of love for me. Opening myself up to someone isn’t something I believed would ever happen again—that is until Holly. There’s something about her that feels like home and is safe, and she makes me want to love someone again. Being with her is changing me.