Secret Fantasy

CHAPTER TEN

IF FLYING from Secret Fantasy to Miami, from Miami to Chicago, and Chicago to Washington D.C., all in forty-eight hours, was enough to prove love, Doug would have Juliette in his arms by now. Unfortunately, Juliette had gotten a head start and the last seat on the last flight out of Miami. After hours of waiting in airports and too little sleep, Doug prepared himself to face Senator Stanton’s secretary and then the senator himself.

In fact, his journey had just begun. And when he stood in front of Juliette’s father, he understood just how difficult the trip would be.

Senator Stanton rose from behind his desk. “I shouldn’t even be seeing you.” Despite the older man’s graying hair and age, Doug saw similarities to Juliette. Like his daughter, even in disapproval, his green eyes held an inherent warmth.

Doug extended his hand and the senator shook it warily. “I take it you’ve spoken to your daughter,” Doug said.

“Long enough to know you’ve been busy.”

He accepted the intended criticism with a nod of his head. “Not as busy as I might have been if I’d spent the last day and a half writing an article instead of traveling to find you.”

“Then I’m sure you have something important to say.” Senator Stanton gestured for Doug to take a seat, then settled into the leather oversize armchair behind the desk. “Don’t tell me you traveled all this way to warn me about your exposé. Journalists don’t usually extend such courtesy.”

“Especially ones who’ve hurt an innocent woman, you mean?”

“Touché. And your words, not mine, but in this case they’ll do fine.”

“Sir, I have an idea that will keep your daughter out of the paper completely. My paper, at least. I can’t control what others print but I can damn well control what I write.” And thanks to Juliette and her warmth and sensitivity, she’d taught him to give his words careful consideration.

The older man leaned forward in his seat. “And why would you want to do that?”

Doug drew a deep breath. “Because I love her,” Doug said the words out loud for the second time in as many days.

His heart pounded hard and fast in his chest as he realized just how much he cared for the redheaded beauty. Just knowing her had redeemed him. Having her love would make him whole. The man sitting across from him was his only chance at proving his worth and his word to the woman he loved. He cared more that Juliette believe she hadn’t let herself be duped again than he did about the lonely life ahead of him if she turned him away. Something he had no desire to face. He stood before her father, hoping the older man’s reputation for fairness and understanding would hold long enough for Doug to make his point. After that, all bets were off.

Senator Stanton tapped his pen against his cedar desk. “Assuming I believe you-and, to be honest, I’m reserving judgment-don’t expect me to go to bat for you. Juliette deserves to make up her own mind-especially regarding the issue that you hurt her badly, yet proclaim to love her.”

Doug nodded. “I wouldn’t have it any other way. Besides, I’m a writer. I expect my words to speak for me.” Or rather, the words he left out of his article would speak for him, Doug thought. Because, if things went as planned, he could print his exposé and never once mention Juliette Stanton’s name.

“You’ll have to use more than fancy words to sway my daughter now.”

Doug glanced at the older man. He’d dealt with the senator before but never on such an intimate level and he both respected and liked the older man’s defense of his child.

“May I add one more thing, sir?”

The senator nodded.

“I wouldn’t presume to ask you for a thing, except your approval if I can get your daughter to come around to my way of thinking on her own.”

Reluctant admiration lit the older man’s gaze. “I’ve only just come into possession of the disturbing truth about my protégé. Then I heard about your more recent role.” The older man met and held Doug’s stare-an imposing man who held an imposing position in the country, but it was his role as father that was the most intimidating now. “You know, under other circumstances, I might like you, Houston.”

An unexpected grin worked at the corners of Doug’s mouth and he laughed, feeling more optimistic than he had since leaving Juliette on Secret Fantasy. “Give me ten minutes and you still might.”

“MMM, THIS is delicious. I haven’t had a good bagel in…”

“Over a week,” Gillian said, laughing. “Didn’t you eat on that island?”

Juliette chewed and swallowed the dough and cream cheese. Her father had returned home for the weekend in time for meetings and Sunday breakfast with his girls. Four days had passed since her return with no word from Doug. No news at all, she thought.

Not that the Runaway Bride bit had gotten old. The reporters still staked out her home and followed her around, speculating this time on why she’d disappeared for a few days. They’d traced her as far south as Miami. Apparently Merrilee had managed to fudge things from there. A miracle as far as Juliette was concerned, but it was only a matter of time until all things came to light. But at least here at the family home at eight a.m., things were quiet. A typical family breakfast wasn’t news.

But Juliette appreciated her family these days more than ever. “The island was different. We had sweet stuff there, like Danishes.” And kisses, Juliette thought. Delicious, intense, soul-deep and prolonged kisses.

“And Florida orange juice, I’ll bet,” Annabelle Stanton said. “I think we’re overdue for a vacation, don’t you, Len?”

Her father covered his wife’s hand. “Next break, okay?”

Juliette watched the easy give and take between her mother and father, the genuine love and caring-and her heart, already bruised, came close to breaking. She’d wanted that, wanted it for herself and Doug. No matter that they’d known one another a short time, she’d believed they each had enough strength to make a relationship work. But she hadn’t counted on the lies.

Her mother shook her head. “Don’t lie to me, Len.”

An eerie feeling swept over Juliette as she listened to her mother’s laughing words.

“We’ll plan a trip and then something will come up and you’ll have to stay close to D.C.” Annabelle laughed once more. “Don’t think I don’t know the routine. Tell me what you think I want to hear and hide the rest so I’m less hurt and disappointed in the end.”

They were an old married couple who knew one another so well, they accepted each other, faults and all. Juliette shivered.

“At least retirement’s around the corner,” her mother continued. “Girls, do you think we can keep your father so busy he won’t miss Washington?”

While Gillian and their mother began a recitation of activities her father enjoyed, he leaned closer to Juliette. “One week at home and I’ll be climbing the walls.”

She laughed. “You’ll survive, Dad. There’s plenty of good you can do outside the Senate.”

“That’s my girl. Always worried about the right thing to do. If I’m not mistaken, that’s how you ended up engaged to Stuart.” He laughed but his eyes were concerned and serious. “Maybe it’s time you take the less politically correct road.”

She rolled her eyes. “I told you already. I tried something like that and ended up hurt.” Juliette had gone straight from the airport to her father’s house because he was leaving for D.C. in the morning and what she had to tell him couldn’t wait.

They’d sat up for hours, she, her mother and father, Juliette alternately crying and unburdening herself like she had as a child. He’d been disappointed and disillusioned in Stuart, yet understanding about calling off the wedding. He’d just wished she’d come to him sooner to spare herself the ensuing pain. As for what happened next, her father had promised not to make a move until he gave the situation careful consideration and until he figured out a way to protect everyone who could be damaged by the information. But he was aware of Doug’s possession of the news and therefore knew he had time constraints on his actions.

Juliette wondered what had gone on over the weekend but wanted just a normal family breakfast too badly to ask now. Reality would intrude soon enough. She looked around at the people closest to her. She was so lucky, so fortunate with the lot she’d drawn. Unlike Doug. The thought came unbidden.

“Juliette.”

She hadn’t realized her father was calling her name. She shook her head. “Sorry. I was distracted.”

“By that man.”

“That man, has a name.” Juliette glanced up to see her father grinning. “I don’t know what’s so funny,” she muttered.

“He affects you, honey. That’s not funny, it’s serious.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

Everything about Doug affected her-his touch, his warm breath in her ear, and when they lay flesh to flesh, the way his heart pounded against hers, like they were one. And when his body joined with hers, they had been one. Juliette trembled. The good memories affected her most and made it difficult to believe everything had been a lie, part of an agenda to get a story.

“Sounds to me like you two have unfinished business,” her father said.

She clenched her hands at her sides. “What’s unfinished about the pretense under which he went to the island and the lengths he went to get his story?” she asked.

But as she sat with her family, with the people she’d been closest to since birth, she wondered-what other awful things besides hunger had Doug endured on the street? What other events had shaped the determined, driven man he’d become? And she wondered too what role his love for his adoptive parents-especially his ailing father-had played in the desperate means he’d used to get Juliette’s story.

Her father shrugged. “Only you would know what’s unfinished. Or whether what was said between you two is more important than what went unsaid.”

I love you, he’d said. And she’d remained silent in return. We shared the most important things in our lives-my childhood and your recent past. And she’d made a mockery of his admission.

“What have you learned from your mother and my relationship?” her father asked. “The most important thing we’ve taught you girls?”

Juliette realized her mother and sister were listening intently but neither were interrupting. Quite a feat for Gillian, but she obviously realized the importance of the conversation and respected it.

“You taught us to follow our hearts,” Juliette said softly.

“And did you? With that guy in college? Or, more importantly, with Stuart? Did you follow your heart? Or what you thought your mother and I wanted you to do?”

A rhetorical question and they both knew it. With Stuart she’d been the dutiful daughter. But with Doug…Merrilee’s one regret in life came back to haunt her. Not having had the opportunity to follow her heart.

Juliette began to shake inside, unable to speak. With Doug, she had followed her heart and it had led her to a man she’d believed was outside the problems in her life. A man who’d enabled her to loosen up and be herself. A man who’d helped her overcome her fear of storms, she thought glancing out at the pouring rain and remembering the electricity they’d generated together. And the man she’d let in-not just into her body, but into her heart.

The man she’d let go. Did she honestly want to look back as Merrilee did and realize she’d let the opportunity to follow her heart pass her by? The trembling turned into full-fledged shaking as she wondered if it was too late.

“I want to take a look at this morning’s paper,” her father said. A lifelong politician, he knew how and when to beat a hasty, strategic retreat. He gestured to the countertop and the newspaper he’d picked up from the driveway earlier.

Juliette needed a minute away from her family’s caring but prying eyes. She swallowed over the lump in her throat. “Sit tight, Dad. I’ll get it,” she said, then padded in her heavy socks over to the stack of papers.

The morning headline shouted out at her, Doug’s byline prominent and clear. Retracted Retraction, side by side with Exposed! Congressman’s Dirty Dealings Revealed. Her stomach did a flip at the sight of Doug’s name and photo. In the body of the article was another picture-one of Stuart and Congressman Haywood, together.

Her reaction to seeing Doug, even in a small black-and-white photo-and more clean-shaven and conservatively dressed than she’d known him to be-told her how greatly he’d affected her life. Her skin blazed hot and fire licked at her soul.

If she thought she’d missed him before, the missing piece of her heart grew wider now. Problem was, she was facing not just Doug’s picture, but his article. He’d obviously used the information she’d shared with him. Her stomach plummeted in dismay and disappointment, but her pulse picked up rhythm.

Follow your heart, her parents had always said. And hers was refusing to give up on Doug despite the evidence in her hand.

She glanced over her shoulder, seeking her father’s support, but he was engrossed in conversation with her sister. She didn’t need his advice anyway. If she really loved Doug, she had to believe in him-in his last words to her on the island and what she’d seen in his face that final day.

She gathered her courage and handed the paper to her father.

“Aren’t you going to read it?” he asked.

Juliette shook her head. “I have all the answers I need in here.” She tapped lightly on her chest.

Her father rose and gave her a hug. “You made the decision with your heart. Now as your father, I’m here to tell you it’s the right one. When you do get around to reading that article, I’m sure you’ll fall for him all over again.” His voice sounded gruff and parental at the same time.

Juliette hugged him back and ran for the door. “Where are you going?” Gillian called after her.

“For a run in the rain.” And an exercise in overcoming her fears.

If Doug was up for another lesson.

Only after Juliette got into the car and pulled onto the road did she realize she had no idea where he lived. Though she knew where the Tribune offices were located, there was little chance he’d be in at this hour on a Sunday. With no destination, she headed to the heart of the city and parked about a block from the Tribune offices and sat. Talk about impulsive, spur of the moment, ridiculous moves.

With her heart pounding hard in her chest, she reached for her cell phone and dialed information but, of course, Doug’s phone number was unlisted. So she did the only thing she could-she called Merrilee, the woman who made fantasies come true.

DOUG HAD BEEN exonerated as planned and his father was home from the hospital, recuperating and in high spirits.

So why did Doug feel so let down? He retrieved the newspaper from the front stoop of his condo and tossed the paper onto the table in the kitchen. The events of the past few days had culminated in the article of his career, thanks in large part to Juliette’s father.

Per Doug’s suggestion, Senator Stanton had approached Stuart Barnes, his protégé, the man he’d groomed and cared for, and had talked him into turning himself in. He’d convinced Barnes that his self-respect was more important than a Senate seat, and whatever he’d done by joining with Haywood and his associates, could be undone. In return, the senator had promised to remain by Barnes’s side throughout-if he came clean now. The younger man had gone to the police and Doug was certain any high-priced attorney could turn Stuart’s willingness to give up his partners into a reduced sentence.

Doug wasn’t surprised how easily Barnes had been won over by Senator Stanton’s charm and sincerity. After all, hadn’t Doug been won over by the man’s daughter in a matter of hours?

Meanwhile Doug’s article had been an exclusive, redeeming him and exposing the Barnes-Haywood Mob-related corruption scheme-all without a mention of Juliette Stanton’s name. And without using the Runaway Bride angle of the story the other papers had been clamoring for.

Of course the answer to why Juliette bolted from the altar could be found by deduction but it wasn’t a subject Doug had chosen to bring up. He’d sacrificed that tidbit of news in favor of protecting the woman he loved. Sacrificed. When had Doug Houston ever sacrificed the meaty details to protect someone else? He had to admit, he felt damn good about himself now and could thank Juliette for teaching him to be more caring. And with an exclusive exposé under his belt, under any other circumstances he’d feel sheer satisfaction.

Instead, all he experienced now was a profound sense of loneliness and frustration. For a man who’d always been on his own, who’d never even had a live-in relationship, he should be used to a solitary existence. But choosing to be alone and being forced into the state were two very different things.

Needing a change of scenery, he decided fresh air might clear his head. Doug grabbed for his keys and hit the street only to discover a walk in the rain-even a walk down Lake Shore Drive, far from Secret Fantasy-brought back a flood of memories. All of them good, none of them ever to be repeated again, because fantasies by definition were created by the imagination and not meant to be lived out forever.

And besides, he’d fabricated his fantasy in order to get himself paired with Juliette. He’d told Merrilee that by helping Juliette heal, he’d see he could put another person before himself. He’d said he wanted to make up for using Erin to further his professional aspirations. And he’d claimed he needed to be able to look himself in the mirror. The irony was, as he’d spoken aloud, he’d realized he was telling the older woman the truth.

Yet all he’d done was repeat his past mistakes. He’d used Juliette exactly the same way he’d used Erin, only this time, he’d also been hurt. He’d fallen hard and lost the woman he loved. Well deserved, Doug figured now.

The biggest irony was he’d achieved his fantasy and still wasn’t satisfied. The fantasy he’d woven for Merrilee had helped him become more human. Yet even looking back and understanding every place he’d gone wrong still didn’t hand him the future he desired. That decision was out of his hands. After all that had passed between them, if Juliette wanted him, she knew where to find him. Or did she? It wasn’t like he’d shared that important bit of information. He muttered a curse and headed back toward home, wet for his troubles, but no closer to a solution.

As he neared his front step, he caught sight of fiery hair gleaming in the mist, making him wonder if even undeserving S.O.B.’s like him sometimes got second chances.

He slowed his pace as he approached, still feeling as if he were in a dream. But when she extended her hand and he touched her, he knew she was here. Real.

And, he hoped, his fantasy come to life.

“Hi there,” he said.

“Hi, yourself.” A hesitant smile pulled at her lips, a smile he’d missed in the past lonely week.

The rain began to pick up momentum and he dug into his pocket for his keys. “You’re sitting in the rain. Is your fear of storms wearing off?”

She shrugged. “Better memories have taken over.”

Her hand remained in his and he held on tight, brushing his thumb over the pulse point on her wrist. “Have you been waiting for me long?” he asked.

She licked at her damp lips. “Only all my life.”

Without another word, he pulled her to her feet and let them inside. He swung her around and, backing her against the wall, they met in a scorching kiss that was emotional and intense and left him without a doubt that her feelings were as strong and potent as his.

“I missed you.” Her softly spoken words echoed in his ear as she nuzzled her head between his shoulder and cheek.

“Likewise.” He reached for her waist and pulled her body close to his. “I know we have things to work out.”

“Mmm.” She murmured in agreement. “Lots of things to settle.” Her lips created havoc with his nerve endings while she feasted on the sensitive skin of his neck. “But nothing that can’t wait.”

His body was already anticipating his next move and he desperately needed that emotional and physical connection. Needed to feel himself inside her and know they were real. “Waiting to talk is good.” He thrust his body against hers. “Waiting for anything else is not.”

“I’m not the one wasting time talking,” she purred in his ear.

No, she was the one with her hands halfway down his pants. From modest to confident, all in the course of a…relationship? He’d have laughed at the change if the entire subject weren’t so serious.

She wrapped her hand around his erection and he let out a groan. The lady had a point. There was a time for talking and now wasn’t it.

He looked into her green eyes, darkened by desire and an emotion he hoped he could name. “Race you to the couch?”

“Well, it’s about time.” She laughed, ducked beneath his arm and ran for the sofa, losing clothing on the way.

Doug followed her lead and ended up on top of her on the couch, her body heat seeping into him and warmth filling the cold spaces inside him. Spaces that had been cold far longer than since she’d left him on the island. And spaces only she could ignite and rouse into a burning flame.

He raised her arms above her head, linking his fingers with hers. “No protection.”

“It’s not a problem for me. How about you?”

He heard the challenge in her words. In the past he’d have felt like he was being trapped, that the walls were closing in. Instead, euphoria lifted him higher. “You don’t sound too upset about it.”

“Should I be?” She shifted, spreading her legs in an invitation he couldn’t mistake. “I was half asleep one night on the island. We were together and I could have sworn I dreamed you said something important. And then you said it again, only I was awake but not ready to hear. If you meant it, I need to hear you say it again.”

Her voice shook and Doug recognized her fear and anxiety about putting herself out there to be hurt if she was wrong. He understood because he’d been there himself. Only neither of them would ever hurt the other one. Not if he had a say in things, and it seemed now he did.

He eased his hand down, slipping his fingers into her silken, moist heat. She let out a soft sigh of need, but her gaze never left his, her eyes wide and imploring, the question still lingering between them.

“No questions, no uncertainties between us, Juliette. Never again.” He raised himself over her and entered her with one smooth stroke. “I love you.” As her muscles contracted around him, the words came not from his body but from his heart and they’d remain there. Forever.

Juliette felt herself toppling over the precipice quickly, the incredible waves building with each successive thrust of Doug’s body inside hers. And when she fell, she knew he was there with her. But long after the physical satisfaction faded, Doug’s words remained lodged in her heart.

He’d grabbed for an Afghan blanket on the arm of the sofa and covered them and now she lay cuddled in his arms. “You have to know I love you, too.”

“I kind of figured that out about the time you lost the last item of clothing on the way to the couch.” He laughed, but sobered quickly. “I just don’t understand how I could be so damn lucky after what I did. That article must have been much better than I thought.”

She needed to look him in the eye so she rolled to her side, a mistake since she nearly fell onto the floor. She settled for climbing back on top of him instead. “I never read the article.”

His eyes opened wide and she felt the rapid increase of his heartbeat beneath her chest. “Then what the hell changed your mind about me?”

“You did.” She ran a hand down his cheek. “You said you loved me when you had nothing more to gain. It was something I should have realized and believed in long before Stuart ever showed up.”

“I used you.”

His honesty now touched her. She inclined her head. “You came to Secret Fantasy for a story. You didn’t leave the moment you got one. Any other arguments?”

He clenched his unshaven jaw. “My fantasy was a lie-at first.”

“And later?”

His hands cupped her cheeks. “I wanted to put you first and I wanted to help you heal. Instead, I repeated old mistakes and hurt you even more.” In the depth of his eyes, she saw his pain.

In hurting her, he’d hurt himself. If that wasn’t love, then Juliette didn’t know what was. “Oh, Doug. Loving me isn’t hurting me. Who hasn’t made mistakes? I made mine when I followed some nonexistent plan I thought my parents had for my life. The only bright spot is that it led me to you. Oh, and that fantasy of yours? About putting me first and making my dreams come true? Did I mention I’d like you to keep it up for the next fifty or sixty years?”

His hands held onto her hips, preventing her from falling, and his deep chuckle reverberated inside her. “Is that a proposal?”

“Damn straight, since you might have just gotten me pregnant.” This time she made sure her challenge was light and fun. She had him and she damn well knew it.

He grinned. “No way can I turn down a proposal like that. Especially from a woman who accepts me the way I am.”

“Darn right I do.” She turned serious. “How’s your father?”

“Home and eager to meet the woman who’s turned me inside out, upside down and made me inhuman since she’s been out of my life.”

Her heart kicked up a beat. “Sounds like someone’s missed me.”

He let out a heartfelt groan. “You have no idea. But you do realize, you don’t even know if I squeeze the toothpaste from the top or the bottom.”

She laughed. “Are you trying to scare me off?”

He shook his head. “I’m realizing it’d take a lot more than my living habits, thank goodness.” He brushed a light kiss over her lips.

“We have a lot more to discover about each other.” As if to make her point she slipped her hands downward in a slow, leisurely exploration of the body she adored.

“And we’ve got a lifetime to learn.” He greeted her hands-on journey with some incredible moves of his own, causing her to writhe and squirm on top of him.

“Well, I’m game.” She managed to speak through the desire quickening inside her.

“And I’m glad.” Love shone in his eyes, making her feel complete. “But don’t you think you ought to read that article?” he asked. “There’s nothing in there about you. Not a word, not a hint, not a mention. Just your father’s wisdom.”

Her father. He’d said when she got around to reading the article she’d fall for Doug all over again. At the time, she thought he was applauding her courage for going after the man she loved, but she realized now her father probably had a hand in working things out with Doug.

“Juliette?”

She heard his silent fear, but he no longer needed to prove anything to her, and by trusting him without reading that article she hoped to prove that to him.

Besides, trusting Doug was easy because she’d learned to trust herself. “I already know I’ve got an intelligent man who puts me first.”

Doug’s heart filled with love and satisfaction-emotional satisfaction because he’d found his other half. A woman he loved to distraction who put her complete faith in him. He’d just have to make damn certain he never let her down.

“I promise to read the article,” she said.

But her actions belied her words as she began an erotic swirling of her hips and arching of her back, tormenting his already hard body with an enticing invitation-one he planned to take her up on, and he met her with determined thrusts of his own.

Her lashes fluttered shut and purred. “Mmm. Guess I’ll be reading it later.”

“Much, much later,” he muttered. Unable to withstand her teasing and needing to be inside her, he took charge, tossing the blanket onto the floor and lifting her until she could ease herself onto him, joining them together again.