Secret Life of a Vampire

CHAPTER 19

Sunday night, Lara left the Graham Dining Center on the north campus of Syracuse University and strolled down the street to her new home. The special task force had found her a room in Day Hall, since the last victim from Syracuse had lived there. No doubt Apollo found it amusing to kidnap a girl who lived off Mount Olympus Drive.

She could have taken the passageway from the dining center to the residence hall, but she wanted to get away from the constant noise of jabbering students. How could she worry properly if she couldn't hear herself think? And she had a whole lot to worry about.

She glanced to the west, where the setting sun was gleaming pink and gold off the Carrier Dome. Jack would be up soon. Rising from the grave, she thought with a shudder. Would he call her? She was so nervous about the prospect of seeing him again that she'd hardly touched her supper.

She'd asked LaToya to call him last night. LaToya was supposed to give him her new cell-phone number and ask him to call tonight. Lara had been a nervous wreck all day.

Damn that man! She'd tried so hard to put him out of her mind. And her heart. She'd immersed herself in the preparations for her assignment. Hours of martial arts, strength training, and coaching on how to handle stress and the criminal mastermind. And still, Jack had crept into her thoughts. With every muscle in her body aching from exhaustive workouts, she still felt the ache in her heart.

It was akin to mourning, she'd decided. She'd lost the man who could have been the love of her life.

She'd tried denial at first. There were no such things as vampires, and poor Jack was simply crazy. He couldn't be a vampire. He didn't act like a monster. Sure didn't kiss like one. Or make love like one. But she refused to think about that. Denial had worked well. For about two hours.

Then anger had taken root, growing into rage. How could such monsters exist unknown for centuries? And how on earth could she fall for one? How could she have missed all the signs? And how dare Jack pursue her as if a relationship was actually possible? A mortal would have to be clinically insane to marry a vampire.

Then she recalled Shanna and her beautiful children. Shanna was obviously a happy woman. But how could anyone marry a monster who fed on people? She had to admit, though, that Jack had never tried to feed on her. He'd always behaved like a perfect gentleman. Well, more like a naughty gentleman, but he was a Casanova, after all. The few times she'd seen him drink, he must have been drinking synthetic blood. Did that mean he didn't like to bite people?

And then the revelation had hit. Jack could have been transformed against his will. He could have been a victim, much like the poor girls who were kidnapped by Apollo. He could have been forced to bite people for years just in order to survive. Was that why he referred to the nine circles of hell so much? He was trapped in a living hell.

Lara shook her head as she entered Day Hall. She couldn't allow herself to feel sorry for Jack. He was over two hundred years old, so he'd obviously bitten a lot of people. She ought to feel sorry for his victims, not him.

She stepped into an elevator and punched the button for the eighth floor. Great. A couple was kissing in the back corner. She kept her back to them and ignored the moans of passion. The memory flitted back of her elevator trip to the top of the campanile in Venice. Jack had been so romantic, so sweet. Why couldn't he have been a normal guy? Would you have been so fascinated with him if he were a normal guy? Would you have fallen in love?

"I'm not in love," she muttered, and the elevator lurched to a stop on the fifth floor.

"Then find another guy," the young woman said with a laugh as she exited the elevator with her boyfriend.

Lara groaned and pushed the button to close the elevator. Another guy? There was no one who came close to Jack. No other man had that combination of cleverness, old-world charm, and mouthwatering good looks. She'd been totally intrigued by his unusual powers and the mystery surrounding him. Until she'd found out the truth.

Her vision blurred with unshed tears as she recalled the look on his face the last time she'd seen him. She'd yelled at him to leave, and there had been so much pain and sadness in his eyes. Poor Jack.

"Aargh!" She was doing it again. Jack was not a poor, abandoned puppy. He was a vampire. She exited the elevator and trudged down the hallway to Room 843.

The problem was, now that she was under cover, she had too much time to think. It had been easier when the special task force had kept her busy.

They'd given her a new identity—Lara Booker. Everything was set. Her only job now was to check the bulletin boards every day in the twenty residence halls spread over the huge campus. She was waiting for the flyer from Apollo to show up.

The FBI had determined that Syracuse University was the most likely place for Apollo to strike next. Even so, they were covering all the bases. Female special agents were checking bulletin boards at several colleges. Whenever the flyer appeared, Lara would be called into action. She'd attend the seminar and get herself kidnapped.

But what if Jack was right, and her immunity to mind control backfired on her? It wasn't a problem she could discuss with the special task force. How could she tell them about mind-controlling vampires? The only one who would understand was her friendly neighborhood mind-controlling vampire, Jack.

Her heart raced as she entered her single dorm room and locked the door. Would he call soon? Would he come to see her? Did he still love her?

No! She wouldn't think about love. She would accept his help, then say good-bye. But what if he looked at her with that pain and sadness in his beautiful eyes? She couldn't bear to hurt him.

We're not all bad, he'd told her.

She leaned over the desk to peer through the window blinds. The sun was completely gone now. She removed her new cell phone from her handbag and set it on the desk. She stared at it, willing it to ring.

If what Jack said was true, then there could be good vampires and bad ones. Did the good ones attempt to keep the bad ones in line? LaToya had told her that Jack was trying to locate Apollo, but hadn't succeeded so far.

She paced across the room. The damned phone would never ring as long as she stared at it. What was Jack doing now? Was he drinking synthetic blood? Taking a shower? Getting dressed? Did he still love her?

The phone rang. She whirled to face it. Jack. She approached slowly, letting it ring again. "Hello?"

"Lara."

The sound of his voice poured over her like a hot bath. She just wanted to soak in it for hours. She mentally splashed cold water on herself. This was strictly business. "Hello, Jack. LaToya mentioned your offer to help me hear psychic voices. I'm willing to learn, if you're available."

There was a pause. She wondered what he was thinking.

"I have cleared my schedule for the next few hours," he said finally. "We could start immediately."

Lara exhaled with relief. He was acting businesslike, too. Thank God. "Just a moment, please. I'll check my schedule." She glanced down at the bare desk and drummed her fingers on the wooden surface. One-one thousand. Two-one thousand. "Yes, we're in luck. I can fit you in this evening. Do we need to do this in person?"

"Yes, we do."

She frowned. There was a strange echo on her phone.

"You can hang up now," he told her.

"Excuse me?" She heard a click behind her and turned. "Ack!" Her phone tumbled to the carpet.

With a hint of a smile, he slid his closed phone into a pocket of his black leather jacket. His gaze drifted to her bare desk. "So kind of you to fit me in."

She grabbed her phone off the floor and set it back on the desk. "You shouldn't sneak up on people like that."

"I thought you were expecting me." He walked toward her.

She jumped out of his way.

He paused briefly, frowning, then continued past her to the desk. With a silent groan, she realized he had been headed for the window all along.

He peered through the blinds. "This is Syracuse University?"

"Yes. Day Hall. The girl Apollo kidnapped from here last August lived in this same dorm."

"Does anyone remember her?" Jack asked. "Is her roommate still here?"

"The roommate graduated last December. I asked around, but everyone thinks the missing girl dropped out of school and went home." Lara perched on the edge of the narrow bed that was pushed against a wall. "She never made it home."

Jack paced back and forth down the length of the tiny room. She cast a few furtive glances his way, not wanting to be caught admiring his lean, graceful stride or his broad shoulders.

"Is there any way I can convince you to quit?" he asked.

She lifted her chin. "I'm not a quitter."

"Are you sure about that?" he muttered under his breath as he continued to pace.

Was he referring to their relationship? Lara's cheeks heated with indignation. He was a two-hundred-year-old vampire, for Pete's sake. Was she supposed to be happy about that?

"I'm not a quitter, either." He removed his leather jacket and draped it on the back of her desk chair. "I'm going to find Apollo before you end up doing something foolish."

"Oh, thanks for the vote of confidence." She glared at him.

He glared back as he sat down. "You're plenty tough for a mortal, but you're still no match for a vampire."

She looked away. "Exactly. I shouldn't be matched with a vampire."

"Let's get started." His voice sounded strained.

"Fine by me." She turned back to him and clasped her hands in her lap. "What do I need to do?"

"Nothing. I do all the work, and you just try to be… receptive to me."

She gripped her hands tighter. "Okay."

He leaned forward, his elbows braced on his thighs, and studied her intently. The gold flecks in his eyes seemed to grow until the entire iris was gold and gleaming.

Lara looked away, uncomfortable with the fierce energy radiating from his stare. The room seemed awfully hot. Her skin began to tingle all over. Especially her breasts. The tingling sensation took a sudden turn south. She pressed her thighs together. She was suddenly desperate to feel a man inside her. And not just any man. Jack.

"Do you feel that?" he whispered.

She gulped. His eyes were actually glowing now. "What are you doing?"

"Turning up the power. This is how a vampire lures people in."

She stiffened. "So you can bite them?"

"I haven't bitten a woman since 1987, when synthetic blood was introduced."

"How considerate of you." She lifted her chin and gazed nonchalantly across the room. "I guess you're a bit rusty, 'cause I'm not feeling much of anything."

"Maybe you're just insensitive."

She shot him an annoyed look.

His mouth twitched. "You are feeling it. Your heart is pounding. Your temperature has increased. I can feel the heat coming off you like—"

"All right." She clenched her teeth. "Is there a point to this? I thought we were going to concentrate on hearing voices."

"I'm trying to assess your capabilities. Your sense of touch seems to be working fine. I think it's only your hearing that's off-kilter."

A blast of cold air nearly knocked Lara on her back. With a shiver, she righted herself.

"You felt that." He watched her closely.

"Yes." The cold air swirled around her, sweeping icy tendrils across her brow. "You're trying to invade my mind?"

He nodded. "Normally, I would be in by now."

She wrinkled her nose at him. "You don't make people squawk and do the chicken dance, do you?"

Now he gave her an annoyed look. "Do you hear anything at all?"

She shut her eyes and focused. There was a buzzing behind her ears that sounded like radio static. "Are you saying something now?"

"Yes."

She wondered what. She squeezed her eyes more tightly shut, frowning with all the concentration she could muster. The buzzing sounded louder and more masculine, more like Jack, but she couldn't distinguish any individual words.

With a sigh, she opened her eyes. "This isn't working. All I'm getting from you is a buzz."

His mouth curled up. "Was it good for you?"

"No." She scowled at him. "It's like having a pesky mosquito in my head."

"Damned bloodsuckers. I hate them."

"Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black?"

He smiled slowly and leaned closer to her. "I need to touch you. Now."

She gulped. "I… but…"

"On your head," he explained, still smiling. "I can make a stronger connection that way."

"Oh." She recalled how he had touched Megan's head in order to release her suppressed memories. "I guess that will be all right."

Her heart speeded up when he sat on the bed beside her. Icy currents swirled around her, brushing against her skin and raising goose bumps. She shivered.

He rested a hand on top of her hand. "Concentrate."

She closed her eyes, and the buzzing returned. It was deep and masculine now. It ricocheted from one ear to the other, a jumble of words that she couldn't isolate. The harder she tried, the more her temples throbbed.

"Can you hear me?" he whispered.

She shook her head.

His fingers tightened their grip, digging into her scalp. A sudden burst of pain stabbed like an icy dagger between her eyes. With a gasp, she fell back and broke contact.

"Ow." She rubbed her brow. "What the hell was that?"

"I used too much power. I'm sorry."

"It's just a headache." She massaged her throbbing temples. "It'll be worth it if this helps keep me alive."

"I would do anything to keep you alive."

"That makes two of us." She scooted back on the bed so she could rest her back against the wall. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, willing the pain in her head to subside.

I'm still in love with you.

Her eyes flew open. "We shouldn't talk about that."

"I didn't say anything."

"But…" She could have sworn she'd heard him speak. Had it been wishful thinking? She caught her breath when she realized what had happened.

She'd heard his thoughts. He was still in love with her! Before she could think of a response, her mind filled with static. The throbbing increased, then she heard a few words.

… hear me?

"I heard the end of that." She gave him a wary look. "Can you hear my thoughts?"

He shook his head slightly. "Not very well. I mostly feel your pain."

"Oh, sorry." Though she was greatly relieved that he couldn't read her mind. She sure didn't want him to know that she still loved him. Don't even think that. Think about pink elephants. She winced as a damned elephant galloped across her brain.

At least the cold air had dissipated. That had to mean that Jack had stopped trying to communicate with her telepathically.

She motioned toward her desk. "I have some aspirin in my handbag."

Apparently, he could take a hint. He jumped up and passed the bag to her. "Do you need anything to drink?"

"Yes. There's a vending machine down the hall."

"I'll be right back." He left the room.

"Aargh." Lara collapsed on the bed. His incredible thought kept echoing in her aching head. I'm still in love with you. What was she going to do? The most wonderful man on earth loved her, but he was a vampire.

Her reclining position made her head hurt even worse, so she sat back up. She retrieved the aspirin bottle from her handbag and struggled with the childproof cap. Dammit. She'd be able to do this if her hands weren't shaking. I'm still in love with you.

Jack slipped back into her room, carrying a diet cola and bottled water. "I didn't know which one you'd want."

The world was a bizarre place when the most considerate man she'd ever met was a vampire. "I'll take the water. Thanks." She popped two aspirin in her mouth and drank.

He set the cola on her desk, then sat in the chair.

Lara rested her head against the wall. Talk about something safe. "So… do vampires ever get sick?"

"It hurts like hell if we're deprived of blood," he answered quietly. "We can be poisoned, burned, or wounded, but we usually heal during our death-sleep."

"Death-sleep?" She grimaced, then stopped because it hurt too much. "You're actually dead when you sleep?"

He gave her a wry look. "That's why we're called the Undead."

She shuddered. No wonder he'd never returned her calls during the day. He wasn't being rude, just dead. As far as excuses went, it was pretty good, but she hated to think of him as dead. "Are you fully alive now?"

His mouth thinned with annoyance. "You've heard my heartbeat. I'm as alive as any mortal right now. And, in case you've forgotten, I'm fully functional."

She looked away to keep from glancing at his jeans. She'd felt an erection there several times. Time to change the subject. "So… are you really the son of Casanova?"

His frown deepened. "Yes."

She'd fallen for a real Casanova. "Why don't you use the Casanova name?"

He shifted in his chair. "Are you feeling any better now?"

"Not really." She wondered why he'd changed the subject. "You didn't answer—" She stopped when he suddenly removed one of her athletic shoes. "What are you doing?"

He pulled off the other shoe, then removed her socks. "You're in pain. I want to help you relax." He scooted the chair forward so he could rest her feet in his lap.

She stifled a moan when his thumbs pressed into the soles of her feet. It felt so good. Her feet had been sore from wandering all over campus to check the residence halls for Apollo's flyer. "Have you ever had trouble before? I mean, invading someone's mind?"

"No. You're the only one." He tugged gently on her toes. "I think it has something to do with the car accident you were in."

She winced. "You know about that?"

He nodded and turned his attention to her other foot. "I read a newspaper article about it online. I'm very sorry for the suffering you endured."

"Thanks." Her current suffering was actually declining. Jack's foot massage was doing wonders. He could

do more than your feet. She chased that errant thought away. Thank God he wasn't reading her mind right now. "I was in a coma for a week. They didn't think I'd make it."

Jack continued the massage. "You're a fighter. I admire that about you."

He admired her? That felt even better than the foot massage. And the massage was damned good. "The accident changed my life. It nearly killed me, but in a weird way, it was the best thing that could have happened to me."

His hands stilled. "How can that be?"

She gave him a wry smile. "It ruined my mother's plans for world domination. She wanted me to be Miss Louisiana, then Miss USA, and then of course, Miss Universe."

He resumed the massage. "That's not what you wanted?"

"I didn't know any better. As soon as I could walk, my mother was entering me in pageants. At the age of four, I won the prestigious title of Little Miss Mudbug."

He grimaced. "Mudbug?"

"It's a crawdad." When Jack still looked confused, she waved a hand in dismissal. "It doesn't matter. Suffice it to say, my mom is crazy. She's fifty-two years old and still entering pageants. If she can't find one to enter, she invents one, like Miss NOLA Plus Size. She'll actually wear a sash and tiara to go shopping."

"How… odd." Jack slipped a hand into her loose cargo pants and massaged her calf.

Lara sighed with pleasure. Her legs had been sore ever since the FBI had tried to kill her with marathon exercise sessions. She wondered why she was telling Jack her life story, but he was such a good listener, not to mention massage therapist, that she didn't want to stop.

"Mom was so excited when I won Miss Teen Louisiana. But after fourteen years of entering pageants, I wanted to quit. Mom would go ballistic every time I even mentioned quitting. So I made sure my pageant career was ruined."

Jack switched to her other calf. "What did you do?"

"When I was nineteen, I was a finalist in the Miss Louisiana competition. They did the part where they ask you a question onstage. It's usually something like, What change would you like to see in the world? and the usual answer is, 'World peace.»

Jack smiled. "What did you say?"

"That I wanted to increase the use of capital punishment. I thought it would be great fun to bring the whole community together for a nice, old-fashioned hanging."

Jack chuckled. "Naughty girl."

Lara grinned. "You should have seen the judges' faces. My mother actually screamed. Obviously, I placed fifth out of the five finalists. My mother was hysterical. She insisted it was too embarrassing to be seen at the hotel. So we drove home that night."

Jack's hands grew still. "Is that when it happened?"

Lara nodded. "It was dark. And we were so busy arguing, we didn't see the truck." She closed her eyes, thankful she couldn't remember the actual accident.

The bed jiggled, and she opened her eyes.

Jack was settling on the bed beside her. "It must have been terrifying."

She nodded. "Mom had multiple fractures. I broke an arm. And I took a bad blow to the head."

"I'm so sorry." Jack stroked her hair that now covered the scars.

Lara's eyes misted with tears. "The first thing I heard when I came out of the coma was my mother talking to my dad. She said thank God it was my head that was damaged and not my face."

Jack sucked in a sharp breath. "Cara mia, that is terrible."

"I knew right then that I could never enter another pageant. I wanted to use my head and not my face." Lara blinked back the tears. "Unfortunately, my head wasn't working too well. I couldn't remember how to read and write."

Jack leaned closer. "You had to learn all over again?"

She nodded. "LaToya was sharing the hospital room with me. That's how we met. She'd been working at a convenience store when an armed robber came in. She took a bullet to the shoulder. We were already in physical therapy together, so we decided to exercise our minds together, too. Her reading skills weren't so hot, but they were a lot better than mine, and it made her feel good to help me. And she said if I could work my ass off, then so could she."

Jack smiled. "That's how you became best friends."

"Yes. We worked together every day, and after a few months, we were reading Nancy Drew books to each other and solving the mysteries. Then we progressed to harder and harder books, till finally, we decided we wanted to be detectives and catch the bad guys. Make the world a better place. So here we are today."

"You're amazing," Jack whispered. "I've never met a woman as amazing as you." He took her hand and kissed it.

Her skin tingled where his lips had touched. He turned her hand over and kissed her palm. The tingles spread from her hand up her arm to her breasts.

When he lifted his gaze and met hers, his eyes were brown and warm with love. No gleaming gold flecks, she realized. No vampire power being used to lure her in. Only love.

And she wanted it so badly.

His gaze lowered to her mouth. If she didn't stop him now, she'd never be able to resist.

She pulled her hand from his grasp and scooted to the edge of the bed. "Well, I think we did enough for the night. My head's too sore to do any more."

"I understand." Jack stood and slowly put his jacket back on. "I'm honored that you would share your story with me, but I have to wonder why. Maybe you didn't realize it, but it makes me want to be with you more than ever. Did you mean to encourage me?"

She gulped. "I–I think we could be friends. Maybe."

"You could be friends with a vampire?"

She looked down and plucked at the chenille bedspread. "I don't want to be… judgmental. You don't seem like a very bad vampire."

"Gee, thanks."

Her cheeks grew warm. "It occurred to me that you might have been attacked and changed against your will." She glanced at him with a hopeful look. "Is that what happened?" Please tell me you didn't want to be a monster.

He dragged a hand through his hair. "I'd rather not talk about it, but yes. I was attacked." He shifted his weight. "Shall we continue tomorrow night?"

He'd changed the subject. Maybe he was trying to spare her some gruesome details. After all, she assumed he must have been murdered. Sorta. She wasn't quite sure how vampires were made. But she was fairly certain it had not been at all pleasant for him. Poor Jack. "Yes. Let's meet tomorrow night. I think we made some progress."

He smiled. "Yes, I think we did." He disappeared.

Lara sighed. The man was far too tempting. But far too different. Did she really want to be a part of his world? Did she want a boyfriend who was dead during the day and could live forever without getting older? Where would that leave her? As far as she could tell, she had two options with Jack. She could grow older and end up alone, forgotten, and heartbroken. Or she could stay with him forever as a vampire.

She shuddered. How could she do that? How could she be a police detective if she was a vampire? How could she give up daylight and good food and chocolate? How could she tell her family? How could she have a family?

No, she was going to have to be sensible about this. Jack would make an interesting friend. But no more than that.

She would have to love him at a distance.