Seven for a Secret

Danielle

So I was working for the St. Aubyn estate.

On the first morning James Perrin was very helpful. I was given certain papers to read, looked at some of the account books and wrote a few letters under his direction. He showed me a map of the estate which was larger than I had thought it to be.

“Why don’t you ride over to the cottages?” he suggested.

“You know, the row of Tudor ones on the edge of the estate. You can tell people you are taking over from Mrs. Merret. They were all very fond of her.

She had a sympathetic nature and I can see you have the same, which is of course why Mr. St. Aubyn chose you for the job. I tell you what. I’ll come over with you and introduce you. “

I thought that was an excellent idea.

“What sort of horse do you like?” he asked as we walked over to the stables.

“Nothing too sprightly. I have only ridden since I came to Harper’s Green. That’s just over five years ago.”

“Oh, I see. Well, we’ll find the right mount. He or she will soon get to know you. I’ll talk to Dick or Charlie. You can trust them to know what’s best.”

He did and we were soon riding through the estate. He showed me several places of interest which he thought I should know about.

“There’s a great deal of work involved in a place like this,” he said.

“I haven’t been here long but I can see it is well looked after by Mr. St. Aubyn. I gather his father let it go rather badly.”

“Yes, I have heard that.”

“So it is a jolly good thing for the estate that he didn’t take after his father. Most of the houses on the estate are St. Aubyn property.

But Mr. St. Aubyn’s father sold some of the farms. Grindle’s, for instance. They bought their place and Archie Grindle made a good thing of it, too. “

“He recently married the aunt of a friend of mine,” I told him.

“Oh yes. He’s gone to live at the Bell House, but the sons run the place well. We’re coming up to the Tudor cottages which I thought we would concern ourselves with this morning.”

The cottages looked very beautiful in the sunshine, with their ancient red bricks, latticed windows and overhanging gables. I could believe that the interiors would be dark. There were six of the cottages, each surrounded by a little ground. I had seen them many times. They were known as the Old Cottages.

“They are beautiful,” I said.

“They knew how to build in those days. Think how they have stood up to the elements all these years … just little places like that. They are marvelous. Of course, some people complain that they get little light.”

“You couldn’t possibly change those windows.”

“It would be criminal, don’t you agree?”

“I certainly do. Of course, it’s so pleasant to have the light, but in places like that you would have to put up with the inconvenience for the sake of beauty.”

“You’ll soon get to know the tenants. Mr. St. Aubyn likes a contented community. He says that’s the way to get them to work well. Lots of these people work on the farms … tied places, most of them ... except the old faithful servants who will be sure of their homes until they die. First we’ll call on Mrs. Penn. We know she’ll be in. Poor old soul, she’s bedridden now. Her husband worked for the estate and she was cook up at the house. Visitors mean a lot to her. The door’s on the latch most of the day and her daughter-in-law pops in with a hot meal at midday. She’s a bit of a whiner, but who wouldn’t be? ” He lifted the latch of the door and called: ” Mrs. Penni James Perrin here with Miss Hammond. May we come in? “

“Seems you are in,” said a high-pitched voice.

He grinned.

“Well, say you’re glad to see us.” j “Come on in,” she said, ‘and shut the door. “

The bed was close to the window so that she could look out. She was old and wrinkled; her white hair was in two plaits and she was propped up by pillows.

“So Mrs. Merret’s off to Australia,” she said.

“Outlandish sort of place. Used to call it Botany Bay. Prisoners went there.”

“That’s in the past, Mrs. Penn,” said James Perrin cheer fully.

“It’s quite different now. Very civilized. After all, we’, were running about in caves at one time … little more than monkeys.”

“You get along with you,” she said and peered at me.

“I liked Mrs. Merret,” she added.

“She listened to what you had to say.”

“I promise to listen,” I said.

“It’s a pity she’s gone.”

“I’m here to take her place. I shall be the one to come and see you now.”

James had brought two chairs from the other side of the room and we sat down.

“You’ll tell all your little grievances to Miss Hammond now,” he said.

“Well,” Mrs. Penn announced, ‘you tell that Mrs. Potteri that I don’t like seed cake. I like a nice jam sandwich . and not jam with pips in it. They get under your teeth. “

I wrote this information down in a notebook which I had brought for the purpose.

“What’s the local news, Mrs. Penn?” asked James and, < turning to me:

“Mrs. Penn is a fount of knowledge. People i come in here and talk to her, don’t they, Mrs. Penn?”

“That’s right. I like to hear what’s going on. There was trouble here last Saturday night. That Sheila …”

“Oh, Sheila?” Once more James turned to me with an explanation.

“That’s Sheila Gentry, in the last of the cottages the one right at the end of the row, I mean. Mrs. Gentry died about nine months ago and Harry Gentry hasn’t got over it yet.”

“He worries too much about that Sheila,” explained Mrs. Penn.

“Mind you, he’s got something to worry about there. She’s got a flighty look about her, that one. And not fifteen yet. I reckon he’ll have a rare to-do with her one day and that day not far distant.”

“Poor Harry Gentry,” said James.

“He’s one of the grooms. Quarters over the stables are full just now, that’s why he’s in one of the cottages. We’ll call, but I hardly think he’ll be there just now.

Well, Mrs. Penn, you’ve met our young lady. “

“She’s a bit young,” said Mrs. Penn, as though I were not there.

“Her youth is not going to affect her ability to do the job, Mrs. Penn.”

Mrs. Penn grunted.

“All right then,” she said.

“Remember, dear, I’ve got my birthday coming along soon and they’ll be sending the cake like they always do from the house. Tell them, no seed. Jam sandwich and no pips in the jam!”

“I will,” I promised.

The door opened and a woman looked in.

“How are you, Mrs. Grace?” asked James.

“Fine, sir. I don’t want to interrupt.”

“It’s perfectly all right. We were just going. Lots to do just now.”

Mrs. Grace came in and was introduced.

“The head gardener’s wife and Mrs. Penn’s daughter-in-law.”

“And you’re Miss Cardingham’s niece. I remember when you came here.”

“I was about thirteen then.”

“And you’re one of us now.”

“I feel that I am.”

“We must be going,” said James, so I shook hands with Mrs. Grace and we left.

I said: “Poor old lady. It must be sad to be bedridden.”

The daughter-in-law looks after her and I think she enjoys being waited on. That’s the Wilburs’ cottage. Dick does carp entering jobs and Mary works in the kitchens so I doubt either of them will be around now. We’ll knock and see. “

We did and he was right.

“That’s old John Greg’s place. He’ll be in his garden, I reckon. He used to work in the gardens until a few years back. He spends all his time now in his own.”

We called and were shown prize roses and vegetables. We were both presented with a cabbage and I was told that the old oak tree in the garden was keeping the sun off some of his herbs. He’d like it trimmed but it was a ladder job and his rheumatics weren’t up to it.

I made a note of this and said I would ask one of the gardeners to look at it.

And so we went on.

There was one I remembered above the others, and that was Sheila Gentry. Her father was working and she was alone in their cottage. She was a very pretty girl with brown curly hair and mischievous eyes. She gave me the impression that she was looking for adventure.

“I expect they’ll find a place for her in the house,” James told me.

“Her mother worked up there when they needed extra help. She was a good pastry cook I believe.”

Sheila let us in and said her father was at work. She took good stock of me, I noticed. She told me she had left school and was keeping house for her father but she didn’t want to do that for ever.

When we left, James said: “You can understand how Harry Gentry’s got his hands full with a girl like that.”

I agreed that I could.

As we came away from the cottages I said, “What about the Lanes’ place?”

“Oh, they’re a case on their own. You know about Flora?”

“Oh yes, I’ve visited her often. Should we look in now?”

“Why not?”

“I feel sure Flora will be there if Lucy isn’t.”

“Mr. St. Aubyn himself looks after them. He has a special interest, you know, because they were his nurses when he was a child.”

“Yes, I know.”

We went through the garden gate. Flora was seated there. She looked a little startled to see us together.

I said: “I’ve come in an official capacity today.”

She looked at me uncomprehendingly.

And almost immediately Lucy came out of the cottage.

“I heard you were taking on the job,” she said.

“You needn’t include us.”

“I know Mr. St. Aubyn takes good care of you,” James told her.

“He does indeed,” Lucy said.

“I wanted you to know that I’m taking Mrs. Merret’s place,” I explained.

“That’s nice,” said Lucy.

“She’s always been such a nice lady, without prying … if you know what I mean.”

I did know what she meant. I had betrayed too much curiosity. I must remember to call when Lucy was not there . just as I had in the past.

James Perrin was very helpful to me during those first days. He made me feel that I was useful, otherwise I might have believed, as I had in the beginning, that there was no real job for me.

James had a small apartment over the estate office. It consisted of three rooms with a kitchen and the necessary facilities. The Merrets’ cottage was being redecorated for a married couple who had been awaiting accommodation.

I soon became very interested in the estate as James initiated me into the working of it, and I could understand why Crispin was so absorbed in it. I would come home and tell Aunt Sophie the fascinating details and she would listen intently.

“All those people working there!” she said.

“Just think! It provides a living for them. And then there are people like old Mrs. Penn who are in their homes for life, looked after by what they call ” the Estate”, which in a way means our Mr. Crispin. He is the great benefactor.”

“Oh yes, he keeps it in working order. Imagine what it was all like before he took over. His father neglected the place and all those people must have been in danger of losing their livelihoods.”

“He has a habit of appearing at the right moment,” said Aunt Sophie soberly.

One day Crispin came into the estate office and saw me sitting at my desk beside James, who was showing me one of the account books.

He called out, “Good morning.” He looked at me.

“All going well?”

“Very well,” replied James.

I said: “Mr. Perrin has been very helpful.”

“Good,” said Crispin and went out.

The next day James and I rode out to one of the farms.

“It’s a question of a faulty roof,” James had said.

“You may as well come. You can meet Mrs. Jennings. It’s your job to be on good terms with the wives.”

On the way we met Crispin again.

“We’re going to Jennings’ farm,” James told him.

“Trouble with a roof.”

“I see,” said Crispin.

“Good day,” and he left us.

It was the following day. I had been down to the cottages to see Mary Wilbur, who had scalded her arm while working in the St. Aubyn kitchen.

Crispin was riding towards me.

“Good morning,” he said.

“How is Mrs. Wilbur?”

“She’s a little shocked,” I answered.

“She has been rather badly scalded.”

“I looked in at the office and Perrin told me where you had gone.”

I was expecting him to ride on but he did not.

Instead he said: “I’d like to know how you are getting on. I was wondering if we might have lunch somewhere together … somewhere we could talk more easily. Would you care to do that?”

I usually brought a sandwich with me and ate it in the office. I could always make myself a cup of tea or coffee in James’s kitchen. James was often out of the office but if he were in he joined me.

I said: “That would be very agreeable.”

“There’s a place I know on the Devizes road. Let’s go that way and you can tell me how things really are.”

I felt elated. There were times when I believed Aunt Sophie’s initial reaction to his offer of a post on the estate was right and that he had done it because he did not want me to go away. My pleasure now was in his interest which occasionally I felt to be there; but at other times I believed my work was necessary and he felt nothing but indifference towards me. But since he had asked me to lunch I did begin to wonder whether there might be a little truth in what Aunt Sophie had thought.

The way led past Barrow Wood and that place must always affect me deeply. Neither of us spoke as we rode by it. The trees looked sombre and through them I caught a glimpse of one of the graves. I thought: I shall never forget. It was indelibly imprinted on my mind and it always would be.

Crispin was saying, “The inn I’m thinking of is the Little Vixen. Have you seen it? There’s a signpost of a very appealing little fox outside.”

“I think I know it. It stands back from the road.”

They have good stabling there and they do a simple but wholesome lunch. ”

He was right. It was very wholesome. We ordered ham.

They cure it themselves,” said Crispin. They keep a small farm and run it well. They grow their own vegetables.”

With the ham we had lettuce, tomatoes and potatoes baked in their jackets.

He asked if I would like wine or cider and I said that wine would make me rather sleepy perhaps and I must work that afternoon.

He smiled and said. That applies to us both. Let’s go for the cider. ”

When the food was served he said, “Now tell me how the work is really going.”

“Very well, thank you. Mr. Perrin is very kind and helpful.”

“I have noticed that you work well together.”

I looked at him steadily and said: “Yet sometimes, I feel…”

“What do you feel?” he asked.

“Mrs. Merret helped her husband as many wives might. It was not really her own job, one might say. She was just … an adjunct.”

He raised his eyebrows.

“I don’t think she would be flattered if she heard that.”

“I know she was very popular and things ran smoothly, but sometimes I feel this work that I am doing was really created … well, to give me something to do.”

“You mean there isn’t enough to keep you occupied?”

“I have been occupied, but sometimes I think it might be a little contrived. I mean, do you really want someone going round the estate to discover that Mrs. Penn prefers jam sandwich to seed cake?”

“Is that what you have discovered?”

“It is one of the things, yes.”

He started to laugh.

“It may seem amusing,” I said hastily, ‘but I should like to know frankly whether what I am doing is really worthwhile or whether . you were taking pity on me. You knew I wanted to do something. “

“Your aunt did not want you to go away.”

“No. And I did not want to stay to be a burden to her.”

“A burden? I’ve always thought she was overjoyed to have you with her.”

“She is not a rich woman.”

“I did not know she was in financial difficulties.”

“She is not. She is quite comfortably off.”

“Then why should you be a burden?”

“It is …”

“Your pride?” he asked.

“If you like, yes. I have a little money of my own. My mother’s house was sold, which was to pay for my schooling. However, my father did that and the money was invested and provides a small income for me.”

“So you have your independence,” he said.

“But village life was a little dull for you.”

“One wants to do something. You have the estate. You are very well occupied. Can you understand that I want to do something more than arrange flowers and sew for the needy?”

“I understand perfectly.”

Tell me about the work I am doing. “

“It is more suitable for you than being governess to some squalling brat.”

“Well-brought-up children are not brats and I should think they rarely squall.”

“It’s an undignified position for a proud young woman, and I could not allow you to be in such circumstances if fi could help it. ”

” You not allow it? ”

” I was mindful of the effect it would have on you. Believe! me, it would be quite wrong for you. “

“How could you know?”

“Put it down to experience of the world. I have always felt governesses and ladies’ companions have sad lives. They depend on the moods of children and very often demanding old people. No, I said, that is not the life for Frederica Hammond. “

“So you created this job for her?”

“It is a job that is well worth doing. Mrs. Merret proved l that, and since we were losing her, it occurred to me that I you could very happily follow in her footsteps. I did not’ have to create this job.

It was there and, miraculously, you I were there too to fill it. ” I looked at him searchingly and he smiled. Then suddenly he put his hand across the table and took mine. He patted it gently. I ” I suppose,” he said, ” I have a special interest in you. “

“You mean because of Barrow Wood?”

“Perhaps,” he answered. He released my hand as though he were rather embarrassed to find himself holding it.

“Does it still bother you?” he went on.

“At times I remember.”

“For instance, this morning, going past?”

“Yes.”

“One of these days you and I will go there. We will stand there -where it happened-and exorcize the memory. You must forget it.”

“I don’t think I ever shall completely.”

“Well, it didn’t happen, did it?”

“He killed himself,” I said.

“He was unbalanced. You can’t judge those people by ordinary standards. It was best the way it happened. Look at the change at the Bell House. Mrs. Archie Grindle is, a happily married woman. So is Rachel. Good came out of evil. Look at it that way.”

“I suppose you are right.”

“And now I am going to make you forget all that, and stop worrying about what you are doing on the estate. It is worthwhile, I assure you. I am a businessman. I do not do things that are not worthwhile for my business.”

He seemed like a different person from the man I had known, and I was suddenly happy. I still believed he had contrived that job for me.

What did he know about the lot of governesses and companions? Very little, I was sure. He had found this for me because he wanted to keep me there.

“There is ginger pudding with custard, and apple and blackberry tart with cream, and blancmange. I’ll say the apple and blackberry tart.”

“I’ll say that, too.”

When it arrived he said: “There is something I wanted to talk to you about. It’s Tamarisk. You don’t see so much of her now, do you?”

“I am working and she is married.”

“Of course. I am a little uneasy about her. Well, perhaps more than a little.”

“Why?”

“I fancy everything is not going well.”

“In what way?”

He frowned.

“I think her husband is not all he made himself out to be.”

“What do you mean?”

“Perhaps I should not be talking to you of this, but I think you might help.”

“How?”

“She might confide in you. You were schoolgirls together.”

“She used to talk a great deal about herself, but recently …”

“I believe she would again. See her and find out how she is feeling.

I fancy everything is not as we hoped. In fact, f know . ” I I waited for him to go on and after a pause he said: ” You and I have been through that experience of which a short time ago we were talking. Am I right in thinking it makes a special bond between us? “

“I think it might.”

“I am sure it does. You see, there are so few of us who knew. Your aunt, you and I were the only ones. It was right that the secret should be kept. It is always right for secrets to be kept when a lot of good can be done through j secrecy. And for those who are involved, there is a special i feeling.” “Yes?” , “You and I…” He smiled at me warmly, almost I appealingly. I said quickly: “You can trust me with a confidence.”

“Very well. I said I was unhappy about this marriage. In the first place I did not like it. I saw no need for all that haste. I thought it was just romantic nonsense. He was out to impress her with an elopement and so on. Now there seems to be a different aspect. The fact is that I have been making inquiries. There were no estates in France or Scot land. I doubt whether his name is Gaston Marchmont. I have not checked this out fully yet, but I believe him to be a George Marsh. He is an impostor … an adventurer.”

“Poor Tamarisk. She was so proud of him.”

“She is a foolish girl. She has been easily duped. Well, now she is married to him. He is a liar and a cheat, and, alas, her husband. He knew that I should make inquiries so he arranged the elopement before I could discover the truth. Now she is married and we have to accept him. Of course, it may be that he will settle down. We’ve got to give it a chance. If she is happy with him …” He shrugged his shoulders.

“That is something I am eager to know. I fancy she is not entirely happy. It may be that she is realizing he is not the fine gentleman he tricked her into believing he was. But if he is prepared to turn over a new leaf, settle down .. ” You will find him work on the estate? “

“That’s what it might come to. But I should be very wary about that. I should have to be sure of his intentions first. As you can guess, in my eyes he would be wide open to suspicion. It is an uneasy situation.

That is why I want you to sound out Tamarisk. Discover what her feelings are. Is she really in love with him? We have to find a reasonable way out of this miserable situation. “

I wondered what he would say if he knew that Gaston Marchmont was the father of Rachel’s child who was soon to be born. I could not tell him. That was Rachel’s secret and not mine to divulge.

I said: “I am not sure that Tamarisk would confide in me.”

“You can try. I think it is very necessary to find out exactly how things are going. I am very much afraid there might be unpleasantness.”

“I will do what I can,” I promised.

“Thank you.” He sat back in his chair and smiled at me.

“This,” he said, “I feel sure, has been a very satisfactory morning’s work.”

The next day I went to see Tamarisk.

“How are you?” I asked.

“Wonderful,” she answered.

“Everything is perfect.”

“And Gaston?”

“He’s as marvelous as ever.” She laughed as she spoke and I wondered whether she were telling the truth.

“And you are working,” she went on.

“Doing something called ” Tenant Relations”. It sounds very important. And are you getting on well with James Perrin?”

“Who told you that?” There’s no need to look guilty, or is there? You know how things get round in a place like this. You are seen together a good deal, they tell me. “

“We work together.”

“It sounds very pleasant.”

“It is. But tell me about yourself. You really are enjoying married life?”

There was a slight pause which I did not fail to notice before she said: “It’s blissful.”

I knew then that I was not going to get any confidences. If anything was wrong she was not prepared to admit it yet.

“I suppose you will soon be getting a place of your own,” I said.

“Yes, of course. But we’re comfortable here for the time being. My mother adores Gaston. He knows just how to please her. She would make a great fuss if we suggested going.”

“Where do you propose to live when you do?”

“We’re thinking. Perhaps we’ll travel first. Gaston wants to show me Europe. Paris, Venice, Rome, Florence and all that.”

“It sounds wonderful. So married life really is good?”

“I’ve told you, it’s wonderful. Why do you keep going on about it?”

“I’m sorry. I just wanted your assurance.”

“Are you thinking of embarking on it yourself?” she asked archly.

“The thought had not entered my mind, for obvious reasons,” I said tersely.

I came away depressed. There was a change in Tamarisk. She was not quite natural and instinctively I knew she was not the light-hearted girl who had been so confident that everything in the world would come right for her.

I knew now that Gaston Marchmont was a philanderer.

He had completely bemused both Tamarisk and Rachel. He was a plausible rogue. Crispin knew him for what he was, but the knowledge had come too late. Poor Tamarisk! At least Rachel was loved by a good man, but I feared she was not completely happy either.

I went back to the estate office by way of the old cottages, my thoughts filled with Tamarisk and Crispin’s anxieties about her.

As I approached the row of cottages, to my surprise I saw Gaston himself. He was standing by the Gentrys’ cottage, talking to Sheila.

As I approached he came towards me.

“Hello,” he said jauntily.

“Good afternoon,” I replied.

“I’ve just been with Tamarisk.”

“Good. That will please her. And how are you? A busy lady these days, I hear. It suits you. You look blooming.”

“Thank you,” I said coolly.

“May I walk with you?”

“I am just going to the office.”

“Been playing truant, have you?”

“By no means. My hours are flexible.”

“That’s the best way of working. I was just passing when I saw the little girl. I think she lives here. I was asking about her father.”

“Oh, is he indisposed?”

“I thought I heard he was ill, but it seems to have been someone else.”

I felt uncomfortable to be with him. I knew too much about him to be able to talk normally; and I was glad when I reached the office.

It was time for Rachel’s baby to arrive and I visited her frequently.

For some weeks she had seemed to be in that state of serenity which I had noticed before in pregnant women, and she thought of little but the baby and was longing for its arrival.

But now that the time was coming very close, I was aware that a certain apprehension had come to her.

Our friendship had strengthened since her marriage. Both she and Daniel regarded me as their greatest friend, I knew. Rachel said to me once: “Do you realize what a big part you have played in our lives?

Suppose you hadn’t found me? Suppose I had . ? “

“Life is like that all the way through, isn’t it? Certain things happen because people are in a certain spot at a certain time.”

“But what you did was wonderful.”

“I was over-bold. I hesitated for a while but something told me that Daniel loved you enough, was strong enough. You are lucky to be his wife, Rachel. He is the one who has done so much for you, not I.”

“Daniel feels the same as I do about you.”

“I am glad. It is gratifying to take a bold step and be right.”

“We have been so lucky, and, but for you …” She shivered.

“You are doubly lucky because you realize how lucky you are. So many people don’t.”

“It will soon be over now. There is one thing, Freddie.”

“What is it?”

“Daniel has been marvelous, but…”

“But what?”

“It’s the baby. If it were his, it would be the most wonderful thing.

But it isn’t. Nothing can alter that, however good he is . however much he pretends. “

“Pretends?”

“To love the child. He is going to remember. I am afraid that he might hate it No, not hate it; he wouldn’t hate anyone, let alone an innocent child but he will look at it and be reminded. Then I shan’t be able to bear it. Already I love this child. It doesn’t make any difference that it has no right to be there. It is my baby and I know I shan’t be able to bear it if Daniel doesn’t love it, too.”

“Daniel is a good man, one of the best.”

“I know. He’ll try, but it will be there. It’s going to remind him every time he looks at it. It must, mustn’t it?”

“He has always known.”

“It will be different when it is actually there. I want everything to be right for this baby. I think I love it more because it is going to need special love and care from me. I’m longing for it and yet dreading seeing Daniel’s face. He can’t hide his feelings very well. I wonder how he’ll be when the child is born. Freddie, you’re our closest friend. Nobody knows about Gaston and me … only you.

Everyone thinks the baby is Daniel’s and that is why we had to marry so quickly. They whisper about that and some pretend to be shocked, but they think we redeemed ourselves by marrying in time. You are the only one who knows the truth, Freddie. You see what I mean. We can talk freely. “

“You’ve got to forget about Gaston. That is all over. You have to count your blessings. Because of it you married Daniel and that was the best thing you have ever done … for both of you. You have to think of the good things, Rachel.”

“I know. But what I wanted to say was this. Will you be here when the baby is born? I want you to be with Daniel. I want you to tell him that I love him very much. Make him see that I was young and foolish and easily flattered. I know all that now. He is such a modest man. He thinks that Gaston is so much more attractive than he is. He would not be so to me now. I should see right through him. I want Daniel to know that and I am afraid he doesn’t. I want you to be with him when the baby is born. I want you to tell him what I have told you. You could make him understand, perhaps.”

“I will be there, Rachel,” I said.

“I shall do my best.” She leaned towards me and kissed my cheek.

A few days later when we were at breakfast one of the men from Grindle’s Farm came to tell me that Mrs. Godber, the midwife, was at the farm and Mrs. Daniel’s baby was expected that day.

I went to the office and told James what was happening and that I should be at Grindle’s Farm if he wanted to get in touch with me about some urgent matter.

I went to Rachel immediately.

She was lying in bed looking pale and a little frightened.

“Oh, Freddie,” she said.

“I’m glad you’re here. I knew you’d come.”

“How are you feeling?”

“All right. It’s starting. Is Daniel here?”

“Yes. We shall be together.”

Her face twisted suddenly and Mrs. Godber was immediately at the bedside.

“You’d better go now, miss,” she said to me.

“I’ve sent for the doctor. That sounds like him now.”

I smiled at Rachel and went off. I met Daniel on the stairs.

I said: “She asked me to be here.”

“I know,” he said.

“Is it going to be all right?”

“Of course. You’ve got the good Mrs. Godber. She has a great reputation and the doctor has just come. Where shall we go?”

“We could go into my office. We could wait there. How long will it be?”

“I don’t think there are any fixed times for this sort of thing. We shall have to be patient.”

“It’s hard to be.”

He took me to a small room on the first floor. Ledgers and books on farms, farming and animals lined the walls.

There was a desk with writing materials covering it; there were also several chairs.

“I didn’t want to be with any of the others,” he said.

“Rachel’s aunt will be here soon. She is very good, but she fusses. It upsets me.”

“You don’t mind my being here?”

“No … no.”

“Rachel asked me to be with you. She’s worried about you.”

“About me?”

“Well, they say some husbands suffer as intensely as wives on such occasions.”

“I think she is going to be all right.”

“I’m sure of it. She is young and strong and there haven’t been any complications. People are having babies every day, you know.”

“Yes … but this is Rachel.”

“She’ll be all right.”

“I pray she will be.”

“She is very happy now, Daniel, you have made her very happy.”

“Sometimes I wonder. I see a sadness in her eyes. I think sometimes she looks back … with regret.”

“You know the reason for that, Daniel. She looks back and regrets what happened before. She wishes beyond everything that this child was yours.”

“So do I.”

“And she worries. This is her child, Daniel, part of her.”

“Before anything else, I want her to be happy,” he said earnestly.

“She will be and so will you be … if you let yourselves be.”

“But she will always look back, and I…”

“You must look forward, Daniel. You have done so much for her. You have shown her clearly how much you love her. No one knows that more than she does. You’ve got to go on doing that. You’ve got to forget what went before. You’ve got to make this child your child, too. That is what she is afraid of. She thinks you will remember and it will make a barrier between you and the child which will spoil the happiness you have built up together. “

“I shan’t be able to forget who the child’s father is.”

“The child will be yours from the moment it is born. That is how you have to see it.”

“I can’t do that. Could you if you were in my place?”

“I should try. I should try with all my strength, otherwise the happiness will not be there.”

“I know you are right,” he said.

“And what of Rachel?”

“It will depend on you, Daniel. It is not difficult to love a small child. And this is Rachel’s. Remember that. It is here because you love her so much.”

“You have done a great deal for us. I shall never forget how much.”

“I think you and Rachel have been very lucky, Daniel,” I said.

We sat silently, each aware of the clock ticking away the seconds. He was wondering, as I was, how long we should have to wait.

It was not until early evening that the baby was born. The doctor came down to us. One look at his face told us that all was well. He was beaming.

“You have a little girl, Mr. Grindle,” he said.

“A healthy little girl.”

“And my wife?”

“Weary but triumphant. You could see her for a few minutes. Most of all she wants a rest now.”

We went up to the bedroom. Rachel looked pale but, as the doctor had said, triumphant. Mrs. Godber was holding the child wrapped up in a shawl and only a red and wrinkled face was visible.

She put the bundle into Daniel’s arms.

I waited in trepidation. So much depended on this.

Rachel was watching him closely.

“She’s beautiful,” he said.

“Our baby.” It was just right. I felt my eyes fill with tears. Rachel was looking at me.

“Freddie, you came, then.”

“Of course I came. I wanted to see the baby. You can’t monopolize her, Daniel.”

I held the child in my arms this little creature who had had such an effect on their lives: and all the time I was saying to myself. It’s going to work out. All is going to be well.

There was the usual excitement in Harper’s Green. Births and deaths were the very stuff that life was made of. Everyone was interested in the new baby at Grindle’s. There would be a christening at the church.

The newcomer was very welcome, in spite of her rather precipitate arrival.

I was spending a good deal of time with Rachel. I would walk over at lunch-time and have a light meal with her. The baby was thriving.

“Daniel really loves her,” Rachel told me.

“How could he help it? She is the most perfect baby.”

I agreed that she was. Her looks had improved since the first time I saw her and she was looking more like a baby now than a wrinkled old gentleman of ninety. She had blue eyes and dark hair and, fortunately, no resemblance so far to Gaston Marchmont.

The question of names was discussed at length.

“If she had been a boy,” said Rachel, “I should have called him Daniel. It would have made Daniel feel that the child was his as well.”

“That would have been a good idea. I am sure Daniel would have liked that.”

“I have an idea that he already looks on her as his. Freddie, I think I should call her after you.”

“Frederica! Oh no! Fred … Freddie … just think of it! I wouldn’t call a child of mine by my own name.”

“You have been so close to us in all this.”

“No reason why the poor child should be burdened with my name. I’ve got an idea. There’s a girl’s name. It’s French, I think, but that wouldn’t matter. It would be near and I do think it is a lovely idea.

I’m thinking of Danielle. “

“Danielle!” cried Rachel.

“It’s almost Daniel. But I think it ought to be Frederica.”

“No, no. That would be wrong. In a way it would be a reminder. We want to make a complete break with the past. She is yours and Daniel’s that is the point. She must be Danielle.”

“I see what you mean,” said Rachel.

In due course the Reverend Hetherington christened Rachel’s baby. Most of Harper’s Green were at the church and after the ceremony, with proprietary pride, Daniel carried Danielle back to Grindle’s Farm.