Sex, Lies, And Online Dating

Chapter 13

Freefallin: Seeks Solid Place

to Land…

Lucy looked at herself in the bathroom mirror and brushed her wet hair. As much as she hated to admit it, Quinn made her feel safe. Safer than she’d felt in days. It bothered her that it took a man to make her feel safe, and not just any man. Quinn. What she’d told him earlier was the truth. She’d always thought she was strong and could cope with anything and everything head-on. Snake bite? No problem, she’d just apply a tourniquet, then suck the venom out herself. Shark attack? No sweat, she’d just punch the shark in the eye. Chased by killer bees? Too easy, jump in a lake or run indoors and get a can of Raid. Get a letter from a wack job? Cry like a baby and call a big strong man.

Lucy brushed her teeth, then tipped her head upside down and dried her hair. She wondered what Quinn was doing, and she thought of the lunch he’d cooked for her. There was no way anyone would confuse it for a culinary masterpiece, but it had been just what she’d needed. Warm and filling and full-on comfort food. It also had been a very nice thing for Quinn to do.

No, she wasn’t reading too much into his every gesture and action this time. She wasn’t going to read anything into the way he’d held her after she’d opened her front door earlier and flown into his arms. Nor in the way he’d touched her or pressed his lips to the side of her head. And she certainly wasn’t going to read anything into his offer to make her lunch or stay while she showered. He’d been doing his job, and reading more into it was a dangerous slope she wasn’t about to slide down any further.

Once her hair was dry, she walked into her bedroom and pulled on her white bra and blue-and-white-polka-dot panties. She dressed in jeans and a white blouse. She shoved her feet into her penguin footies, then made her way through the kitchen to the living room. She peeked around the corner and found Quinn sitting on the couch. His forearms rested on his thighs, and his hands hung between his knees. A notebook and papers were spread out across the coffee table and couch, and he was staring into the screen of his laptop.

He should have looked out of place, a big man parked on her sofa with his crap spread out on her antique coffee table. He didn’t. He looked like a secure place to land in a suddenly insecure world. Like he alone could keep her safe. Her heart swelled a little at the sight of him, letting her know that he was anything but safe. Not for her.

Quinn turned his head as if he suddenly sensed her, and his dark gaze met hers. He straightened, and a lock of his dark hair fell over his forehead. “Do you feel better?”

“Yes,” she answered and moved into the room.

His gaze followed her. “You look good.”

She reminded herself that Quinn had hurt and humiliated her, and if a wack job hadn’t decided to send her letters, he wouldn’t be sitting in her house now. Acting like he cared. He’d be off pretending interest in the next suspect. Kissing and touching her in the name of his job. She moved to the window and looked outside. On the sidewalk beyond, two girls rode past on pink bicycles with baby dolls shoved in the baskets. Today was Saturday. Her night to stay at her mother’s.

“Lucy?”

She glanced over her shoulder. “What?”

Quinn looked across the room at her for several long moments before he said, “We have to talk about the letter that came today. I know you said you didn’t want to read what’s in it, but you need to.”

She turned. “Is it bad?”

His dark gaze continued to stare into hers, and he held up a letter encased in clear plastic. “I think so.”

Lucy walked across the room and took the letter from his hand. As she read, she moved around the coffee table and sat on the couch. When she finished, she was glad she’d sat down. Her stomach pitched and got light at the same time. She was afraid she might get sick.

“Who has your home address?” Quinn asked as he looked at her across his broad shoulder.

“I don’t know. It’s not listed anywhere.” She thought for a moment and came up with several possibilities. “Maybe someone at the DMV or post office. It’s printed on my checks, so…who knows?” Lucy set the letter on her coffee table and rubbed her temples.

“How about bookstores?”

Bookstores? “Amazon does. I have books sent here all the time.”

He shook his head. “Local bookstores.”

“I don’t know.” She thought of all the bookstores and why they might have her address. “I have a Hastings card. I had to fill out an application, so I’m sure they have my address.”

He reached for a pen. “Which one?” She told him, and he wrote it down in bold capital letters. “Let’s talk about the Women of Mystery.”

“I told Detective Weber everything I know.”

“You probably know more than you think.” He picked up a sheet of paper and handed it to her. It was a Women of Mystery roster. “Does anyone on the roster stick out in your mind as behaving odd or perhaps being an over-the-top fan?”

“Well, several of these women are odd.” She pointed to a name on the list. “Betty has been writing and rewriting the same scene about killing off her father since I’ve known her, but I don’t think she’s a killer in real life.”

“Was she the woman with white hair and glasses who was at the meeting at Barnes and Noble on the twenty-third?”

Damn, the man remembered everything. Then again, he was a cop. “That was her.”

“Tell me about Cynthia Pool and Jan Bright.”

Lucy shrugged. “There’s not much to tell. Jan’s the current president of the Women of Mystery, and she’s the events person at Barnes and Noble. I know Cynthia is a member of Women of Mystery, but I don’t know how serious either woman is about her writing or whether they’re just dabblers. All I really know about them is that they are both very supportive of local writers.”

“How supportive?”

“They make sure our books are always in stock. Stuff like that.”

“What’s a dabbler?”

“A person who talks about writing but never actually finishes more than a few chapters.”

He turned and looked into her eyes as he said, “We know from the Breathless letters to you that she is a wannabe writer. She reads mystery novels, especially yours.” He reached for the second letter and placed it on top. “What does this line mean, ‘You know what they say: write what you know’? Who is ‘they’?”

“‘They’ could be anyone. Could be anyone in publishing, or she could have read it in a book on writing. It’s just standard industry advice.”

“Jan knew that you’re writing about a female serial killer who finds her victims online.” He flipped a few pages in his notebook and leaned forward, searching for something. The back of his shirt came untucked from his jeans and showed a glimpse of his blue-and-white-striped boxers.

Lucy leaned forward and set the paper on the table. Her shoulder accidentally brushed against Quinn’s, and his hands stilled in the act of turning pages. Traitorous little tingles spread down her arm and across her chest, and for an instant, she thought of something besides the psycho sending her letters. She recognized those tingles; each held a little spark of desire and longing and a hot zap to her heart. He’d given them to her before, when they’d both been pretending to be someone they weren’t. She sat back against the couch, away from the danger to her heart. “I must have mentioned what I was writing in one of their meetings. Or in a live online chat.”

“What do you mean?” He continued to flip pages as if he’d felt nothing. “What kind of online chat?”

“Groups ask me to be their guest speaker online,” she answered, pushing her feelings for Quinn aside, where she could deal with them later. Or not. “It’s really diverse. One night it could be a group that loves mystery novels, and the next a businesswomen’s group.” She brushed her hair from her face and held it at the back of her neck. “I’m asked all the time what I’m working on and when it will come out. It’s always one of the questions people ask. I’m sure I’ve mentioned erotic asphyxiation and the fact that I’m writing about a female serial killer hunting online dozens of times and just don’t remember. Believe me, I wish I knew who this woman could be.” She dropped her hands to her lap, and her gaze landed on the latest letter. “It’s clear she’s seen us together and knows who you are.”

“Yeah. I’ve probably interviewed her.”

“Or she could recognize you from a press conference.”

“I thought of that, but it’s less likely she would recall my face from a press conference than a one-on-one interview.”

“Not if she has something invested in the press conference, which she does.” Lucy took a deep breath and asked the one question she’d been dreading. “Do you think she’s going to come after me?”

Quinn turned to look at her, his brown gaze direct and his mouth a grim line. “I wish I could tell you no, but I can’t. I think there’s a real possibility.”

That’s what Lucy had feared. For the past five days, she’d tried to control the fear eating at her stomach. Now there was no controlling it. It spread up into her throat and into her head, and she couldn’t think past it. The backs of her eyes stung, and she had a hard time drawing air into her lungs. She stood and quickly moved from behind the coffee table to walk across the room. She stared out her big picture window at the black shadows of bare tree limbs creeping up her sidewalk. What was she going to do now? She couldn’t subject her friends and family to danger that was growing worse.

“What am I going to do?” She lifted a hand to grasp her burgundy silk drapes as her mind raced with possible solutions. “I guess I can go to a hotel. I could take my laptop and try to work.” She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. A hotel room sounded confining. Safe, but confining. “Or I could go get a gun. I don’t know how to shoot a gun, but how hard can it be? You just point and squeeze.” Her voice shook when she added, “Right? Or…or I can board Snookie and head for Cancun.”

Quinn placed his hands on her shoulders and pulled her back against his chest. “You don’t need a gun or to head off to Mexico.” He felt so solid. Warm and safe, and she stood there because it was better than falling apart. “You have me.”

She wished that were true. “What are you going to do?” She laughed without humor. “Move into my guest room?” She was being facetious, although she had to admit that having a big bad cop in the house sounded like heaven.

“No, I can help you relocate for a while.” He slid his hands down her arms and grasped her waist.

“Where?”

“My house.”

She turned and gazed into his dark brown eyes. He didn’t look crazy. He looked serious. “What are you smoking?”

“I think it’s the perfect solution.” She tried to pull away, but he tightened his grasp. “I have an extra bedroom. You can stay in it.”

“Isn’t there some cop rule against that?”

“No. You’re not a suspect anymore, and besides, no one has to know where you are. In fact, for your safety, it would be best if no one knew.”

The offer sounded tempting, but living in the same house as Quinn was totally out of the question. Not after the last time when she’d somehow ended up naked with his hands in very interesting places. Not when, after everything, she was tempted to let him finish what he’d started that night. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“You’re wrong about that.”

She folded her arms beneath her breasts and didn’t answer. Her silence spoke for her.

He tilted his head back and looked down at her. “Ah. You’re worried about what might happen if you’re alone in my house again. You don’t think you’ll be able to control yourself.”

“You are high.” She knocked his hands from her waist and took several steps back. “I can control myself. I can control myself just fine. You’re the one who started pulling my clothes off.”

“You weren’t complaining.”

“I couldn’t. You had your tongue down my throat.”

He smiled. “Before or after you shoved your hands down my pants?”

Her gaze narrowed, and she thought her head might spin around.

“I don’t know why you’re so mad,” he added and folded his big arms across his wide chest. “It wasn’t that big a deal.”

She lifted her hand and stabbed the air in front of his nose with her finger. “You thought I was a serial killer!” And you told me you wanted a relationship with me when you didn’t. Stab. Stab. “If I’d known the real you, that night never would have happened.” And you made me fall in love with you and you were just doing your job.

He tilted his head back again and pushed her hand aside. “If that’s true, now that you know the real me, you shouldn’t have any problem staying at my house through the weekend until we can get security in place. Don’t turn down my offer out of anger. It’s the best solution all around. You’ll feel safer, and I’ll worry less knowing you’re safe.”

Lucy dropped her hand to her side. While she didn’t care if he worried or not, she had to admit that he had a point. She would feel safer at his house, and she wouldn’t have to endanger her friends or her poor old mother. She would probably want to kill Quinn before this was over, but anger beat scared shitless any day of the week. “Okay, I’ll stay with you, but you have to keep your hands to yourself.”

He laughed as if he found what she’d said really funny. “Just my hands?”

“All body parts.”

“That’s no fun.” His mouth curved into an upside-down smile. “But I think I can control myself. Can you?”

“I can control myself.” She walked around him and added, “I can control myself just fine.” She moved upstairs to her office and packed up her laptop and a few things she would need. She threw some clothes into a suitcase and left Mr. Snookums a bowl of food.

When she was ready to leave, Quinn carried her things to his car and put them in the back-seat. She was probably making a big mistake. One that would make it more difficult for her poor heart to mend. But Quinn made her feel safe. She didn’t know why, but he did. He made her feel as if he was the only solid thing standing between her and a psychotic killer.

On the drive across town to his house, Lucy’s attention was drawn to the gadgets in the car, to the siren and police radio in the control panel. She looked up at the red-and-white lights hooked to the passenger visor, and she was dying to know what everything did. She’d relentlessly researched this sort of thing, but she’d never actually been inside a cop car. Then her gaze fell on the pink roses lying on the seat next to her, and she forgot about research and gadgets.

“Hot date?” she asked as if she didn’t care. As if the thought of him with someone else didn’t carve at her heart.

He glanced at her, his brows drawn together as if he just realized he wasn’t alone in the car. “What?”

“The flowers. Do you have a hot date tonight?”

He returned his gaze to the road and turned onto Broadway Avenue. “No date. Just you, Sunshine.”

He’d lost his mind. That was the only excuse Quinn could think of for why he’d talked Lucy into staying with him. He was going to regret it. He was going to end up wanting to kick his own ass, but her eyes had teared up and she’d stood there looking frightened and alone. Before he’d known what he was doing, he’d reached for her and pulled her back against him. His body had reacted to the smell of her hair and scent of her skin, and he’d had to stand there and fight the urge to bury his face in her neck. The touch of her beneath his hands reminded him of the last time he’d touched her-all over. The desire in the pit of his stomach reminded him of how much he’d been drawn to her, even when he’d thought she might be a homicidal psycho. How much he was drawn to her still.

Afternoon sun poured through the windshield, and he flipped down the visor. What he’d told her had been the truth. He would have wasted a lot of time worrying about her. Even if he assigned a security detail, he’d still worry. He had a job to do, and he couldn’t catch a killer if he was distracted.

Of course, having her in his house was trading one distraction for another, but he’d rest easier if she was with him and Millie, where he could keep a closer eye on her. Millie might be young and immature, but she was territorial and one hell of a barker.

He turned off Broadway onto his street. Once Sergeant Mitchell found out that Quinn had stashed Lucy in his house, shit would hit the fan. There wasn’t a hard-and-fast rule against moving a former-suspect-turned-state’s-witness in with him, but that didn’t mean the sergeant was going to like it. After the latest letter, there wasn’t even a possibility that the sergeant wouldn’t ask where she was or what security measures were being taken, and Quinn was going to have to tell him.

He hit the garage door opener and parked the Crown Victoria next to his Jeep. The best way to handle it was to inform the sergeant as soon as possible. That way it would appear aboveboard.

He turned off his car and grabbed his notebook and laptop off the passenger seat. He carried Lucy’s suitcase with his free hand, and she followed him into the house. He set his files and computer on the kitchen table and turned on the lights as they moved down the hall to the spare room. He tossed her suitcase on the queen-sized bed, made up with a red quilt he’d bought at Costco at the same time he’d bought Millie’s dog bed. The quilt was soft but not fancy, probably not the sort of thing a woman who drove a BMW would buy for her home.

“I refinished the wood floors in here,” he said as he moved to the doorway and leaned a shoulder into the jamb.

“They’re nice,” she murmured as she set her laptop on the dresser. She moved to the window and opened the blinds. He wondered what she thought of the room, and he wondered why he cared. Then it hit him, and he was appalled. He wanted her to like his house. As if it mattered squat. He wanted her to like him. As if that would ever happen. She was only here with him because those Breathless letters scared her more than she disliked him.

“If you change your mind about staying here, I can put you somewhere safe,” he felt compelled to say.

She looked over at him through blue eyes and didn’t answer for several moments. Part of him wished she’d opt for somewhere safe-the reasonable part of him that knew living with her just down the hall was going to be a pure, torturous hell.

“I’ll stay with you,” she answered.

“I have to go pick up my dog,” he said and pushed away from the door frame.

Her eyes got that squinty look he was beginning to recognize. “The infamous Millie?”

“Yeah.” He’d take the squinty look any day over the fear he’d seen there earlier. “Make yourself at home.”

He left the house without looking back and drove to his mother’s. On the way there, he picked up the telephone and called Kurt. He told him about the letter and where he’d stashed Lucy.

“I thought she didn’t like you,” Kurt said.

“She doesn’t, but for some reason, I think she must feel safe with me.”

“The sergeant isn’t going to like this. Maybe you can figure something else out in the morning.” They talked about the advantage of placing undercover cops in her house with her, but the more Quinn thought about it, the more he didn’t like the idea of two men living with Lucy. Before making detective, Quinn had worked undercover security a few times, and it had worked out one of two ways. Either he’d wanted to kill the witness or he’d come to like the witness very much. He didn’t have to wonder how a couple of young cops would feel about Lucy.

He hung up the phone as he pulled into his mother’s driveway. He knew Kurt was right, but he was going to keep Lucy with him. He was a grown man. He’d been a cop for sixteen years and had learned a thing or two about control. He could control himself around Lucy. He could keep his hands off her. No problem.

He loaded Millie into the back of his Jeep and left his mother’s before she could ask too many prying questions. He had one stop to make before he headed home.

Morris Hill Cemetery sat just above Julia Davis and Katheryn Albertson parks. Ancient trees shaded the crypts and towering head-stones in the older sections of the cemetery. Quinn drove through the iron gates and wove around narrow roads until he pulled to a stop in front of a simple white headstone. He placed the roses beneath Merry’s name and shoved his sunglasses over his eyes. The memory of her face in life was beginning to fade, adding to his guilt over her death. He brushed twigs for the white stone and stayed by the grave until he had a picture of her in his mind. She deserved at least that much from him. Then he got in his car and drove from the girl he’d failed to save toward the woman he intended to keep safe, or die trying.

He found Lucy asleep on top of her bed. She was curled on her side, facing the doorway, and sunlight poured through the slats of the blinds, across her face and blonde hair. One of her hands lay palm up by her nose, while her other arm fell across her stomach. Her feet were bare, and a bar of light fell across her red toenails.

Millie shoved her head between Quinn and the door frame, and he grabbed her collar before she could enter the room. Together they watched Lucy sleep, watched the slight rise and fall of her chest as she breathed in air past her slightly parted lips.

“What do you think about having another female in the house?” he asked his dog.

Millie let out a loud whine, as if she had a few complaints, and tugged at her collar. Quinn knew what Millie wanted. She could probably smell Lucy’s cat on her clothes, and she was dying to investigate. Quinn figured the last thing Lucy needed was to be woken from a sound sleep by an excitable dog. “You can meet her tomorrow,” he promised as he pulled Millie from the doorway and continued down the hall to his bedroom. She protested with more whining when he shut her inside. “Knock it off,” he ordered, then moved to the linen closet and took out an extra blanket. Several hardwood boards protested beneath Quinn’s feet as he walked into the guest room. He covered Lucy’s legs with the blanket, and when he pulled it over her hips, she gasped and grabbed his arm. She sat straight up and about stopped his heart.

“Jesus H. Macy. It’s okay, Lucy. It’s me.”

“Quinn?” Strips of light slid across her mouth and cheeks. Her wide eyes stared into his.

“Yes.”

“What are you doing?”

Her hair rested on her shoulders and he could see her rapid pulse beating on the side of her throat. Beneath the white fabric of her shirt, her breasts rose and fell and pushed against the thin material with each breath. “You’d fallen asleep while I was gone, and I was just covering you up.”

“Oh.” She let go of his wrist and pushed her hair behind her ears. “What time is it?”

He glanced at his watch. “A little after five.”

A frown wrinkled her brow. “You were gone quite a while.”

“I had something important I had to do.”

“With the Breathless case?”

He shook his head. “After I picked up Millie, I had to run some flowers to the cemetery.”

“Who died?”

“Just a girl.” He rested his weight on one foot and crossed his arms over his chest. Lucy looked up at him, waiting. “She was a confidential informant and she got killed because she was working with me.”

Lucy rose to her knees on the bed, and the bars of sunlight spilled across her shoulder and throat. “I’m sorry. Did you catch the killer?”

“Yeah. He’s doing life.”

“And you take flowers to her grave.” She shook her head. “That’s sweet.”

“No, it’s not.” He lowered his gaze to the front of her white blouse. With each breath she took, the stripes of light slid across her breasts. No, he was not a sweet guy, but he could be an honorable guy. Even if it killed him. “If I don’t do it, no one else will,” he explained and raised his gaze to hers. “I do it because I have a guilty conscience. Because I didn’t do my job and a girl got killed. She was a druggie and a whore, but she was a pretty nice person too. When she got killed all I could think about was how it impacted my case. All I cared about was my job.”

Lucy sat back on her heels. “Is that why I’m here? So you make sure I’m safe enough to keep getting those letters to you?”

He should lie and tell her yes. That he didn’t care about her at all. He’d been lying to her since the first day he’d contacted her online, and perhaps that’s why he couldn’t lie to her now. “I want to keep you safe, but that’s not the only reason you’re here. In fact, I’m sure I’m going to get reamed when my sergeant finds out.”

“Then why?”

He was saved from answering by a loud thumping down the hall.

“What’s that?”

Quinn glanced toward the door, then back down into Lucy’s face. “Millie throwing herself against my bedroom door. She knows you’re here, and she’s not used to having women in the house.”

Lucy tilted her head back a little, and a thin shadow slid from her nose to her mouth. “How many women have there been?”

“Here? Besides my sister and all my nieces? Only one, but Amanda left when Millie was a puppy, so I doubt she remembers her.”

“Who’s Amanda?”

He dropped his hands to his sides. “She was the woman I planned to marry.”

“What happened?”

He shrugged. “She decided she liked my best friend more than she liked me.”

Lucy winced. “Ouch.”

“Yeah. I found them in bed together.”

“I’ve dated cheaters, but at least I never had to see it with my own eyes. What a bitch. That must have been horrible.”

In that moment, he could have hauled her up and planted one on her mouth. But he’d told her he’d keep his hands and all body parts to himself. He was a man of his word, and he planned to keep it, even if it meant that walking around in a constant state of arousal just might do him in. At the very least it would take years off his life. “It was. Especially when she sat there naked in my bed and blamed me for her cheating.”

“Wow, that’s ballsy.” Lucy smiled. A slight curve of her mouth that went straight to his groin. He should leave. Just back away toward the door.

“I guess that’s one way of putting it.” Back away from the blonde sitting on his bed, looking all tousled and warm from sleep. “She had a point, though. Sometimes I have to work very long hours.”

Lucy shook her head, and the light slid across her lips. “That’s crap, Quinn. We all have to work long hours sometimes. It’s not an excuse for infidelity.”

Again he fought the urge to grab her up and kiss her beautiful mouth.

“I’ve had boyfriends who were cheaters,” she continued perilously. “And they always tried to pin the blame on me, but it wasn’t my fault.” She placed a finger between her breasts and pointed to herself. “I gave them lots of sex. Good sex. They were just losers. And I’ve always figured that it’s best that you find something like that out before you marry a person. Or the next thing you know, you’ve got three kids while your husband is out picking up skanks in bars. Bringing home God knows what disease.”

Quinn swallowed. Hard. “Lots?”

Her hand fell to her lap. “What?”

“Lots of good sex?”

“Well, not with a lot of different people. I haven’t had all that many boyfriends, but when I do…yeah.” She shrugged one shoulder. “Or what’s the point?”

He had to leave. Do the honorable thing like he intended. Just get the hell out of the room while he could still manage to walk.

“I’ve always figured that if I’m going to bother getting naked with someone, I’m going to have a good time.”

He swallowed-hard. A picture flashed through his mind of her up against the wall, his mouth on her breast. “Jesus H.,” he forced from his suddenly raspy throat. Keeping his hand and all body parts to himself was the toughest thing he’d ever done.

“What’s wrong?”

“You’re torturing me.”

For several heartbeats he watched her mouth, then slowly a smile tilted the corners, as if she hadn’t realized until that moment what he was talking about. “Do you want me to stop, Quinn?”

“Hell no,” he said just above a whisper. He was a masochist. “I want you to tell me how you give good sex.”