Shameless

11

“Ian, wake up.” Cheerful, full of energy and clashing with the bone-deep sleep he had been immersed in, Ian opened one bleary eye to stare back at Courtney’s shining face.

The bedside lamp was on. Obviously. Its glare was about to blind him as he peeked over her shoulder to stare at the clock.

“Go back to sleep,” he muttered, closing his eyes as he groaned at his body’s refusal to accept that she had actually woken him after the hours he had spent exhausting them both.

Exhausting her wasn’t easy.

Surely to hell he wasn’t getting old.

He would have shuddered at the thought if he actually had the energy.

“Ian, come on, wake up…” Playful, undeniable, her voice had his eyes blinking open in resignation at he stared up at her.

She was leaning over him, her hair flowing down around her face, creating an intimate, seductive curtain as her dark eyes, her very awake dark eyes, gleamed with joy.

His dick twitched in interest despite his body’s exhaustion.

“I’m awake.” His hand smoothed up her thigh, heading for the soft flesh between her thighs. Perhaps a quickie would satisfy her until he could wake up.

“Stop that.” She laughed, pushing his hand away as he sighed in resignation. “Guess what?”

Guess? It was fucking midnight. He wasn’t supposed to be awake right now, let alone guessing anything. He started to remind her sharply of that, but the soft glow of her eyes, the gentle smile on her lips, stopped him. It would be criminal to kill such a look of joy with a sharp word.

“I can’t guess. I’m asleep,” he finally grumped, a grin tugging at his lips as her slender fingers raced over his side in a retaliatory tickle.

“Come on, grouch.” The feminine amusement, softly voiced and filled with wonder, had him staring up at her, willing to guess whatever the hell she wanted. “Guess what’s happening right now?”

“Hmm.” His hand moved to tangle in the hair at the side of her face. “You’re pussy’s getting wet?”

“No.” She rolled her eyes at him, but she was having fun. Strangely enough, so was he. It had to be the sleep deprivation. “Guess again.”

A smile tugged harder at his lips. “My dick’s getting hard.”

“That wasn’t a guess.” Her throaty laughter had a chuckle blooming in his chest. “That’s a continual state.”

“When I’m awake anyway,” he reminded her, a drowsy sensuality flowing around them. He could feel the hunger for it, but it wasn’t imperative, it wasn’t a driving need as it had been previously. It was just there, connecting them.

Intimacy.

It wasn’t sensuality, so much as intimacy.

The thought of that should have terrified him to the bottom of his bachelor’s soul. Instead, the lazy, drowsy atmosphere allowed it to seep into him, to fill him.

“Come on. I’ll give you a better hint,” she whispered, leaning close to feather her lips over his. “What’s it doing outside? Right now?”

He thought a minute.

“No…” His eyes closed on a groan, though the chuckle slipped free. “No way, you little minx. I am not going outside in the freezing cold at midnight.”

He was warm. The blankets were pulled over them, Courtney was snuggled close to his side, and he was not leaving his bed.

“But Ian…” He opened his eyes and groaned again at the wonder in her face. “It’s snowing, Ian. We could slip down to the hot tub and watch it snow while we cuddle in the hot water.”

Cuddle? In the water?

He shivered at the thought of it.

“Courtney, you have to drag your ass out of that hot water into the cold air eventually,” he reminded her, knowing he couldn’t refuse the playful pout shaping her lips.

“I’ll warm you back up.” She batted her eyes innocently at him. “Come on, Ian. Let’s go play in the snow. It will be like our own little world.”

“We have our own little world here,” he growled, snuggling closer to her as he pressed his face between her breasts. “Stay with me and I’ll fuck you instead.”

“Go out to the hot tub with me. We could sneak out through the Club. No one would be there now, and that way, you won’t get cold,” she teased against his hair. “I’ll sit on the rim, surrounded by the snow and let you show me how much you like the new wax job I got yesterday.”

He perked up at that. He hadn’t taken the time to worship her soft pussy, as he had wanted to earlier in the night. Somehow, there was never enough time to do all the things he wanted to once he got her responsive little body beneath him.

“You’re going to drag me out of my warm bed, aren’t you?” he muttered before licking at the stiff nipple to his side.

She laughed softly, moving back from him, her eyes and her smile, her very expression one of luminescence. She was like an angel, staring down at him with an air or wonder and soft light.

“Come play in the snow with me, Ian. Let’s make beautiful memories.”

And how could he resist?

He wasn’t entirely certain how he allowed her to draw him from the bed. He helped her put on one of this thick robes, satisfied it would keep her reasonably warm on the short distance from The Club’s door to the heated tub. Pulling one on himself, he halfway convinced himself that he must surely be dreaming now. Only in his dreams would he would be sneaking through his own house, into the deserted Club and onto the back deck with the little minx who had wormed her way into his life.

As they moved through the dark corridor leading to the Club’s inner door, he had his arm wrapped snug around her, holding her to his side as she seemed to shimmer with the joy that reflected in her soft voice.

“You live such a staid life for a Trojan,” she teased as he keyed in the security code to unlock the door that kept her barred from the inner rooms. “Really, Ian, locking me out isn’t kind.”

“Safer.” He chuckled at her tone. “You’re a menace, Court. I feel it’s my duty to protect my own kind.”

Her small hand smacked at his chest.

“Oh, that was just cruel,” she pouted. “Good comeback, but cruel.”

“Score one for Ian?” He lifted a brow teasingly as she stared up at him.

“Score one for Ian.” Her soft giggle touched his heart.

Yes, he had to be dreaming, because only in a dream could the past evaporate as it had now.

“Come on, minx.” He opened the doors into the bar, glancing around the dimly lit area and seeing it empty before leading her to the French doors on the other side of the room. “I can’t believe I’m going out in the cold to get wet and then try to get back to our room. We’ll be ice cubes before we make it. They’ll find us tomorrow, frozen…” He faked a shudder as he led her quickly out the door onto the heated deck.

She laughed. The intimate sound of it, soft, as delicate as the mist surrounding the hot tub, had him smiling and he wasn’t even certain why.

“Come on, grouch.” She shed the robe with no sign of discomfort as she stood beneath the heavy snowfall, her face raised to allow the soft fluff to caress her face. “Feel it, Ian, it’s like a fantasy.” She turned back to him, her hair shielding her upper body, framing the delicate features of her face.

He could feel his chest expanding, feel the wonder of her burning within it. She amazed him, drove him crazy, made him so fucking hot he thought at times he would melt from the conflagration.

How could he possibly get cold? Siberia would be a rainforest with her in it.

“Aren’t you coming?” Her voice was still whisper-soft, encouraging him in the madness she created.

He found himself untying the belt of the robe and quickly removing it, allowing it to drop in unconcern on the damp heated cement beneath their feet as he moved to the steamy water.

He stepped in, feeling the rush of the water caress his lower legs as he held his hand to her. A vivid smile crossed her face, and in the soft light of the full moon above he saw the flash of eternal dreams in her eyes.

“You’re beautiful, Courtney,” he whispered as she stepped into the water with him, the snowflakes drifting down to melt on her flushed cheeks, her soft lips.

Pleasure flashed in her eyes as she stared up at him, looking for all the world like one of the fairies in the prints his mother loved before her death.

His own precious fairy.

He touched her cheek, lowered his lips to hers and whispered suggestively, “Now tell me about that wax job?”

Courtney stepped into the front doors of Ian’s mansion just before the sun was setting over the mountains surrounding it the next evening. She was reflective as she closed the door behind her, brooding over the fact that it seemed Melissa Gaines, and something that had happened almost fifteen years before, still had the power to hold Ian’s heart so deeply.

She had thought she was making inroads the night before as they laughed and made love in the hot tub long into the midnight hours. But this morning he had been his usual brooding self, if a little grumpier than usual.

Had he truly loved the woman? Surely not. If he had, then he couldn’t be so certain that love didn’t exist, could he?

Truth was the man was going to make her completely insane. She shared his bed, spent hours upon hours each night in the throes of the most exciting pleasure she could have imagined, but it wasn’t enough. Not for Ian, and not for her either.

She could feel the restlessness building in him, and it only caused hers to intensify.

“Your coat, Miss Mattlaw…”

She jerked in surprise as Jason materialized by her side.

“Stop sneaking up on me.” She lightened the startled snap with a laugh. “That’s creepy.”

“You were obviously very deep in thought, ma’am.”

The robot.

She allowed him to help her with removing the black jacket she had worn with her jeans that afternoon as she stared about the foyer.

“Is Ian in this evening?”

“Mr. Sinclair is away presently,” he informed her. “He asked me to let you know that he would return later this evening.”

She nodded slowly. “Very well.” The house was quiet, too damned quiet. And she was sick of being a good girl. Ian kept a very close eye on her when he was home, careful to keep her from The Club at all costs.

A wicked smile curved her lips as the butler moved through the foyer to the back of the house. Removing her cell phone from her small purse, she dialed Khalid’s number and waited as it rang. Once.

“Well, my favorite girl is calling,” he answered, a smile in his voice.

“Hello, Khalid.” She kept her voice low, in case anyone dared to attempt to listen. “Where are you?” She allowed a vein of teasing wheedling to enter her voice.

A chuckle came over the line.

“Where you aren’t allowed to be.” His voice was equally as low.

“But I want to be.” She pouted prettily, watching the doors leading from the foyer suspiciously. “Get me in. We’ll have dinner. A drink. Play some cards…”

“…Make Ian insane.” He didn’t sound a bit frightened of the prospect. She liked Khalid in that way—he was one of the few men that Ian didn’t intimidate.

She shrugged negligently. “He’s away at present. He may never know. But that bulldog of his, Matthew, is so mean to me, Khalid. Surely you could help me.” She used her best, most pathetic little voice that normally inspired complete devotion.

Khalid laughed.

“You are such a bad girl.” He kept his voice low. “I might have heard, in passing, that Matthew has to leave in about forty minutes to pick up another member at the airport. I suppose I could slip out and unlock that pesky door he’s taken to securing while he’s gone.”

Excitement filled her veins.

“The minute he leaves, give me a call. I’m certain he’ll check my whereabouts before he dares to depart.” She snorted. “He’s worse than Father’s guard dogs.”

Khalid chuckled knowingly.

“I’ll be certain to let you know,” he promised. “Dress pretty for us though, it’s not often we’re blessed with such lovely company. And it may well come in handy when Ian finds you here. He’s partial, I believe, to the sight of that little belly ring.”

Evidently, he wasn’t the only one.

“I’ll be certain to dress appropriately.”

She disconnected the phone before rushing up the stairs, determined to make the best of this opportunity that had fallen her way. Ian had kept the Club completely out of bounds to her since he had taken her to his bed. Come to think of it, he had kept any sort of temptation into the darker side of his passions far out of her reach.

That darker side was what had drawn her to him as she matured. The infatuation of childhood had grown, strengthened, as had her assurance that Ian could meet the darker side of her own hungers. The ones that tormented her in the dead of night, even as she slept in his arms.

She loved him, regardless of his attempt to hold back. If she had thought for a moment he was doing so because that need wasn’t a part of their relationship then she would have let it go from the beginning. But she could feel it. She always had. As though a part of her soul was connected to his, binding them, fueling the sexuality and the hunger. And those darker urges were a part of it.

“Some men and women are born with deeper hungers, with a need to explore all facets of their sexuality,” her mother had explained when Courtney had gone to her, questioning the needs that tormented her, despite her innocence. “When the time is right, when you’ve found the man you can trust with that intimacy, Courtney, then the pleasure and that sharing is something that has no shame, no limits, and no second thoughts. But only if it’s right for you, and for him…”

There was no shame, no limits, no second thoughts. She would be more than willing to allow Ian to guide her through the learning process, to help her navigate the needs that tormented her.

And she knew he would relish the job. She could see it in his eyes, feel it in his touch. He grew more aroused with the thought of it, and each time he used the toys to play out the fantasies that tormented them both, the tension went higher as he grew more aroused.

After slamming the bedroom door behind her, she strode quickly to the closet and pulled out the outfit she had bought with this night in mind. The skirt was incredibly short, snug and indecent fiery-red. Red looked good on her.

The top was a button-up, vest-type that left her belly button bare and would allow the emerald to wink suggestively as the light hit the emerald that dangled from its tiny gold ring.

She stripped to bare skin as she rushed to the shower. She lathered, shaved, rinsed, dried and lotioned every part of her body until it shimmered with life. Her hair was pulled to the side and braided loosely, the nearly black strands a stark contrast for the red outfit.

Then she dressed.

Matching thong, no bra. She pulled on the skirt, adjusting the snug material at her hips and again just below her ass. The vest ended way above her belly button, flashing an indecent amount of flesh between the two, then she pushed her feet into matching spiked heels seconds before her cell phone beeped demandingly.

Checking the incoming number, she flipped the receiver open before bringing it to her ear.

“Your timing is perfect.” She smiled as Khalid’s light chuckle came through the line.

“I’ll be waiting you at the doors, dearest,” he informed her smoothly. “My best guess is, we have perhaps an hour before Ian returns home and finds out where you are. Are you certain you’re prepared for the consequences?”

She rolled her eyes. That wasn’t even worth answering.

She disconnected, tossed the phone to the bed and moved quickly for her door once again. If she could have skipped in the slender heels, she would have. This was it. She could feel it burning through her body. Ian was already strung as tightly as her father’s guitar strings, all it would take was a nudge to push him over.

She knew she should feel guilty for manipulating him so. That she should fear the repercussions, and in many ways, she did. But she knew Ian. To the very bottom of her soul she knew him. If she allowed him to continue as he was, he would only convince himself further that she couldn’t possibly know what love was, and that there was no chance she could handle his appetites.

He was so stubborn. So certain that she needed to be protected. It wasn’t his protection she needed, it was his love. His acceptance.

Shaking her head, she slipped along the foyer until she came to the inner door that led to The Club. Opening it carefully, she moved into the dimly lit hall and made her way to the door that Ian had ordered be kept securely locked against her.

She turned the doorknob carefully, excitement surging through her as she opened the door.

“Ian will no doubt punish you terribly for this,” Khalid drawled from where he was leaning against the wall beside the doorway. “I can only hope he allows me to help.” His gaze became brooding. “I’m going to enjoy paddling your ass, Courtney.”

She flashed him a brilliant smile, her hand lifting to play with the braid that fell over her shoulder, affecting an innocent expression despite the sexual intensity thrumming through her.

“Should I call you ‘Uncle’, too?”

She almost laughed at the glazed, sexual intensity that filled his eyes. Sometimes, men could be so simple.

“You are wickedly shameless,” he finally sighed with a wry expression. “Every man’s greatest fantasy and worst nightmare. Beware, Courtney, bad girls often get spanked.”

“Hmm, spank me, Uncle Khalid?” She laughed as he shook his head at her, though his eyes gleamed with amusement.

“Come along, vixen.” He placed his hand against the bare flesh of her back and guided her to the open doors of The Club. “I have purchased the finest bottle of whisky that Ian stocks, and I promise Thom will keep you in ice until Ian arrives.”

From the sound of his voice, he was eagerly awaiting Ian’s arrival. But then again, so was she.

They entered the main room of The Club as nearly a dozen pairs of eyes turned and looked their way. Surprisingly enough, there was another woman present, one Courtney knew quite well.

“Courtney Mattlaw, your father would have a stroke.” Alyssa Hampstead came to her feet as Khalid led her to the table. “I heard you were staying with Ian, but didn’t believe it.”

“Hello, Alyssa.” Courtney smiled widely. “And don’t mention Daddy. If he would have a stroke, then yours would self-detonate. I had no idea you were a member here.” Better yet, how was she a member?

“Have a seat, ladies.” Khalid pulled Courtney’s chair from the table as she took her seat before moving to assist Alyssa similarly. “I’ll get the drinks and join you momentarily.”

He turned from them as Alyssa’s eyes followed him with a touch of heat.

“He’s a wild man,” she sighed. “But quite charming.”

“What on earth are you doing here?” Courtney couldn’t believe a woman had actually made it into Ian’s sacred Club as a member. “How did you manage it?”

Cool blue eyes turned to regard her thoughtfully.

Alyssa was often referred to an “ice princess” with her steely eyes and soft ash blonde hair. She was from one of the most upstanding prudish families Courtney had ever known. Her family was old money, staid, conventional, and her father would likely murder her himself if he ever learned she was taking it up the butt by a man, let alone at the same time she was getting it elsewhere.

“Several of The Club members are very good friends.” The other woman shrugged. “They applied for my membership and vouched for me personally. It beat taking the chance of Father learning my little hobby.”

There was no bitterness in her voice, nor truly any anger, but Courtney now, as always, felt a measure of respect for her. She lived her life under a microscope at times, just as Kimberly Raddington had. A cherished daughter and heiress, the head of several charitable organizations, and often approached as a spokeswoman for those organizations.

Courtney had always admired her for her work, the warmth that she showed to only a few people, and her family loyalty. Now, she found, she had much more to admire the woman for.

“Your drinks, ladies.” Khalid sat a small glass of whisky and ice in front of her, a rum and coke in front of Alyssa. “I understand Ian is currently on his way home from a meeting he left in the middle of.” He was amused to no end. “Enjoy it while you can.”

Courtney sighed as she lifted the glass to her lips.

“He hasn’t shared you yet.” They both watched as Khalid took his seat across from them.

“No.” Her lips twisted in a grimace. “He wants to…” She shrugged.

How was she going to push him into anything? She was here, but just being here wasn’t going to be enough.

“Courtney hasn’t found the right button to push yet,” Khalid informed her.

“I’m wondering if he has one,” she snorted in a purely ladylike way.

“I gather she hasn’t yet tripped onto Ian’s sole nonparticipation kink?” Alyssa chuckled knowingly as she watched Courtney now with a suggestive look.

“I think not,” Khalid murmured. “Ian would never give her such power.”

“I am here,” Courtney announced with a frown. “There’s no reason to talk over me.”

“Tell me, Courtney, how adventurous are you?” Alyssa reminded her now of a playful little cat. Her nose wrinkled engagingly, her eyes filling with laughter and fun. This was a side of Alyssa that a rare few were allowed to see.

“I’m not adventurous at all, Alyssa.” She allowed her lips to curl with confidence. “I am, quite simply, without limits. What about you?”

She heard Khalid’s rapid intake of breath and managed to hold her own as Alyssa reached out, running her fingers over the soft rise of her breasts. There was no arousal, but the feeling was pleasant. It wasn’t an unknown touch.

“Ian’s private, hidden little kink is only known to a few of us,” Alyssa whispered as she watched her thoughtfully. “For some reason, Ian has always taken pleasure in seeing his woman stroked by another.”

Courtney felt the flare of excitement then. It made sense. A lot of sense. All the times she had watched Ian with her maids, there had always been another woman present. She hadn’t questioned it, had really not thought of it, as the extra woman had been quiet, as though waiting her turn. Perhaps she had instead, already had her turn.

It wasn’t an act Courtney was unfamiliar with, but it wasn’t a preference either. Then again, she had no preference outside of Ian.

“You’ve seen him enjoy this?” She turned to Khalid, uncertain how to proceed. Though most enjoyed the sight of two women together, they didn’t enjoy seeing their woman with another.

“I have.” He nodded. “It’s one of the few things Ian keeps as quiet as possible. But, it’s the only reason he gave Alyssa membership. She enjoys tormenting men in such a fashion.” His lifted his drink in acknowledgement to her.

Alyssa chuckled.

“I have very rarely fully made love to a woman.” She shrugged, lifting her hand back from the flushed rise of Courtney’s breast. “But I do so love watching how they go insane from very simple acts. They are, at heart, charmingly weak in that area.”

If Khalid’s arousal was anything to go by, this was largely the truth.

Courtney bit her lip thoughtfully. Did she dare push him that hard? Well, of course she dared. She would dare most things. But what were the chances of success?

“Courtney, do not step outside your own bounds,” Khalid warned her then, his voice worried.

She laughed at the concern, flashing him a suggestive look.

“Do you think I haven’t done such things, Khalid?” she asked him. “When one is experimenting with her body, she tries many things.” Besides, her first goal had been to be a virgin, a very experienced virgin, in Ian’s bed. One did not get the experience one needed without a small amount of experimentation.

Khalid’s eyes widened marginally, as they seemed to glaze again. Good Lord, the man was a lost cause at that point.

She tapped her fingernail against the table, aware of both Alyssa and Khalid watching her warily.

“Very well.” She made up her mind quickly. As far as she was concerned, there was no sense in debating the matter. She would know immediately if such a thing would tempt his control. She would be able to feel it, his arousal, reaching out to her, fueling her own.

She had no intention of remaining a nun all her life, and the fact that she was unaroused with any other—male or female—unless Ian was present, was beginning to irk her to no small amount.

“Courtney…” Despite his obvious arousal, Khalid leaned forward, his expression warning.

She frowned, ire heating her expression. “Khalid, as much as your concern is appreciated, it is unwarranted. I never do anything I believe will harm me more than I am willing to be harmed. I am not Melissa Gaines.” And she was growing tired of the other woman haunting the relationship she knew she could have with Ian. “I am not willing to lose every dream I’ve had in my life because of her destructiveness. I, Khalid, will do whatever it takes to make Ian see that. But never, ever, will I do more than my own conscience, or decided lack of boundaries, is comfortable with.”

She was not an immature, psychotic, manipulating nutcase. She was simply a woman in love with a man who would walk away rather than risk the possibility that his hungers were destructive. A man, haunted by a death he had no hand in, a hunger he could not deny he felt, and one whose loneliness filled every part of his soul. That loneliness, that haunted ache she had glimpsed in his eyes for so long, was breaking her heart.

She needed to see laughter there. She wanted to see warmth and love. She needed to see his acceptance of her and of himself.

It was an ambitious plan, she had known that all along. There was a high chance of failure, though she refused to accept that it could happen.

“You could be a very scary woman, Courtney.” His lips quirked in a gentle smile as she tossed back the rest of her whisky.

“And so I should be,” she sighed as she glanced at Alyssa, meeting her reflective stare with a glare.

“I never thought otherwise.” Alyssa held her hands up in surrender. “But we aren’t the ones you need to convince. And we won’t be the ones to hurt if the convincing doesn’t work, Courtney. Ian is a dear friend of mine, and I count you as the same. Khalid and I will worry regardless of our faith in your sanity…” A smile tipped her lips. “Or your lack of it.”

“Some days, where Ian is concerned, I’m all for the insanity bit,” Courtney sighed, the nervous excitement running through her veins creating a hyper-energy that was difficult to tamp down.

She glanced back at Khalid, noting the tension in his large body, the obvious arousal. He was anticipating Ian’s reaction to what was to come as much as she was, though for different reasons.

As he lifted the bottle of whisky he had brought to the table to refill her glass, Thom approached from his side. Leaning close, he murmured something to Khalid before turning and moving away once again.

“Okay, ladies.” A gleam of anticipation filled his gaze. “Ian just pulled into the driveway. I would say the fireworks are about to begin.”