Shattered Rainbows

Chapter 1

Salamanca, Spain

June 1812

The white-haired surgeon wiped his forehead wearily, leaving a smear of blood, as he studied the man on the crude operating table. "You certainly made a mess of yourself, Captain," the surgeon said with a distinct Scottish burr. "Didn't anyone ever tell you not to block a charge of grapeshot with your chest?"

" 'Fraid not," Lord Michael Kenyon said in a strained whisper. "At Oxford, they teach the classics rather than practical matters. Maybe I should have gone to the new military college."

"It will be a real challenge to see if I can pick all the bits out," the surgeon said with macabre cheer. "Have some brandy. Then I'll get to work."

An orderly held a bottle to Michael's lips. He forced himself to consume as much of the fiery liquid as possible. A pity there wasn't time or brandy enough to get seriously drunk.

When Michael finished drinking, the surgeon slashed away the remnants of his patient's jacket and shirt. "You were amazingly lucky, Captain. If the French gunners had loaded the powder right, there wouldn't be enough pieces of you left to identify."

There was an ugly sound of metal scraping on metal. Then the surgeon wrenched a ball from Michael's shoulder. The resultant blaze of agony made the whole world darken. Michael bit his lip until it bled. Before the surgeon could strike again, he asked haltingly, "The battle-is it won?"

"I believe so. They say the French are haring away at full speed. Your lads have done it again." The surgeon began digging at the next buried fragment.

It was a relief to surrender to the blackness.

Michael returned to awareness imperfectly, floating in a sea of agony that numbed his senses and hazed his vision. Every breath sent stiletto-sharp pains stabbing through his chest and lungs. He was lying on a straw pallet in the corner of a barn that had been commandeered for a field hospital. It was dark, and fretful pigeons cooed from the rafters, complaining about the invasion of their home.

Judging by the mingled groans and labored breathing, the earthen floor must be covered almost elbow to elbow with wounded men. The scorching Spanish noonday heat had been replaced by the bitter cold of night. There was a scratchy blanket over his bandaged torso, but he didn't need it, for he was burning with the fever of infection, and a thirst worse than the pain.

He thought of his home in Wales, and wondered if he would ever see the lush green hills again. Probably not; a surgeon had once told him only one man in three survived a serious wound.

There was a certain peace in the prospect of dying. Not only would it bring surcease from pain, but he had, after all, come to Spain with the bitter knowledge that death would free him from an impossible dilemma. He had wanted to forget both Caroline, the woman he had loved more than honor, and the terrible promise he had made, never thinking he might be called upon to fulfill it.

With vague curiosity, he wondered who would miss him. His army friends, of course, but they were used to such losses. Within a day, he would have become "poor old Kenyon," simply one more of the fallen. No one in his family would be sorry, unless from irritation at having to put aside their finery to wear mourning black. His father, the Duke of Ashburton, would utter a few pious platitudes about God's will, but he would be secretly pleased to be free of his despised younger son.

If anyone would feel real grief at his passing, it would be his oldest friends, Lucien and Rafe. And there was Nicholas, of course, but he could not bear to think of Nicholas.

His bleak thoughts were interrupted by a woman's voice, as cool and clear as a Welsh mountain spring. Strange to hear an English lady in such a place. She must be one of the intrepid officers' wives who chose to "follow the drum," accompanying their men through all the hardships and danger of campaign life.

Softly she asked him, "Would you like water?"

Unable to speak, he nodded assent. A firm arm raised his head so he could drink. She had the fresh thyme and lavender scent of the Spanish hills, discernible even through the stench of injury and death. The light was too dim to see her face, but his head was resting against a warm curve. If he could move, he would bury his face against her blessedly soft female body. Then he would be able to die in peace.

His throat was too dry to swallow, and water spilled from his mouth and ran down his chin. She said matter-of-factly, "Sorry, I shouldn't have given you so much. Let's try again."

She tilted her vessel so that only a few drops trickled between his cracked lips. He managed to swallow enough to ease the burning in his throat. Patiently she gave him more, a little at a time, until the excruciating thirst was gone.

Able to speak again, he whispered, "Thank you, madame. I'm… most grateful."

"You're very welcome." She lowered him to the straw, then rose and went to^the neighboring pallet. After a moment, she said sorrowfully, "Vaya con Dios." Go with God. It was a Spanish farewell, even more appropriate for the dead than the living.

After she moved away, Michael dozed again. He was vaguely aware when orderlies came and removed the body on the next pallet. Soon after, another casualty was laid in the space.

The new arrival was delirious, mumbling over and over, "Mam, Mam, where are you?" His voice revealed that he was very young and terribly afraid.

Michael tried to block out the wrenching pleas. He was unsuccessful, but the steadily weakening words showed that the boy was unlikely to last much longer. Poor devil.

Another voice sounded from the foot of Michael's pallet. It was the Scottish surgeon saying, "Bring Mrs. Melbourne."

"You sent her home yourself, Dr. Kinlock," an orderly said doubtfully. "She was fair done up."

"She'll not forgive us if she learns that boy died like this. Go get her."

An indefinable time later, Michael heard the soft, distinctively feminine rustle of petticoats. He opened his eyes to see the silhouette of a woman picking her way through the barn. Beside her was the doctor, carrying a lantern.

"His name is Jem," the surgeon said in a low voice. "He's from somewhere in East Anglia. Suffolk, I think. The poor lad is gutshot and won't last much longer."

The woman nodded. Though Michael's vision was still blurred, he thought she had the dark hair and oval face of a Spaniard. Yet her voice was that of the lady who had brought water. "Jem, lad, is that you?"

The boy's monotonous calling for his mother stopped. With a quaver of desperate relief, he said, "Oh, Mam, Mam, I'm so glad you're here."

"I'm sorry it took so long, Jemmie." She knelt beside the boy's pallet, then bent and kissed his cheek.

"I knew you'd come." Jem reached clumsily for her hand. "I'm not afraid now that you're here. Please… stay with me."

She took his hand in hers. "Don't worry, lad. I won't leave you alone."

The surgeon hung the lantern from a nail above the boy's pallet, then withdrew. The woman-Mrs. Melbourne-sat in the straw against the wall and drew Jem's head onto her lap. He gave a deep sigh of contentment when she stroked his hair. She began to sing a gentle lullaby. Her voice never faltered, though tears glinted on her cheeks as Jem's life slowly ebbed away.

Michael closed his eyes, feeling better than before. Mrs. Melbourne's warmth and generous spirit were a reminder of all that was good and true. As long as earthly angels like her existed, life might be worth living.

He drifted into sleep, her soft voice warming him like a candle defying the darkness.

The sun was inching above the horizon when Jem drew his last, labored breath, then became still. Catherine laid him back in the straw with a grief beyond tears. He was so young.

Her cramped legs almost failed when she got to her feet. As she leaned against the rough stone wall and waited for her muscles to recover, she glanced at the man on her left. His blanket had slipped, exposing the stained bandages swathing his broad chest.

The air was still chilly, so she leaned down and drew the blanket up to his shoulders again. Then she laid her hand on his forehead. To her surprise, the fever had broken. When she had given him water, she would not have given a ha'penny for his chances. But he was a tall, powerful-looking fellow; perhaps he had the strength to survive his wounds. She hoped so.

Wearily she made her way toward the door. During her years following the drum, she had learned a great deal about nursing and more than a little surgery, but she had never become inured to the sight of suffering.

The austere landscape was peaceful after the deafening clamor of the day before. By the time she reached her tent, much of her tension was gone. Her husband, Colin, had not yet returned from duty, but her groom, Bates, was sleeping outside, guarding the captain's womenfolk.

Tired to the bone, she ducked inside the tent. Amy's dark head popped up from her blankets. With the nonchalance of an old campaigner, she asked, "Is it time to march, Mama?"

"No, poppet." Catherine kissed her daughter's forehead. After the horrors of the field hospital, it was heaven to hug the child's healthy young body. "I expect we'll stay here today. There's always much to be done after a battle."

Amy regarded her sternly. "You need to sleep. Turn around so I can untie your gown."

Catherine smiled as she obeyed. Her qualms about taking her daughter on campaign were countered by the knowledge that the life had produced this miracle of a child: resilient, wise, and capable far beyond her years.

Before Amy could undo the stained gown, hoofbeats sounded outside, followed by the jingle of harness and the staccato sound of her husband's voice. A moment later, Colin barreled into the tent. He had a cavalry officer's energetic personality, and one was always aware when he was in the vicinity.

" 'Morning, ladies." He ruffled Amy's hair carelessly. "Did you hear about the cavalry charge yesterday, Catherine?"

Not waiting for an answer, he dug the roast leg of a skinny chicken from the hamper and took a bite. "It was the prettiest maneuver I've ever been in. We went roaring at the French like thunder and swept them from the field. Not only did we take thousands of prisoners and dozens of guns, but two eagles were captured! There was never anything like it."

The gilded French regimental standards called eagles were patterned after those of imperial Rome, and capturing two was a stunning feat. "I heard," Catherine replied. "Our men were magnificent." And she had spent the night tending the price of victory.

Having stripped the meat from the drumstick, Colin tossed the bone out the tent flap. "We went after the Frenchies, but no luck. One of those damned Spanish generals disobeyed Old Hookey's order to set a garrison at the river, then didn't have the courage to admit his error."

Catherine ignored the profanity; it was impossible to shield a child who lived in the midst of an army from strong language. "One can see the general's point. I shouldn't like to confess a mistake like that to Lord Wellington."

"Very true." Colin peeled off his dusty jacket. "What else is there to eat? I could down one of the dead French horses if it were roasted properly."

Amy gave him a reproachful look. "Mama needs to rest. She was at the hospital almost all night."

"And your father fought a battle yesterday," Catherine said mildly. "I'll go make breakfast."

She moved past her husband to go outside. Under the odors of horse and mud was the musky scent of perfume. After the pursuit of the French was called off, Colin must have visited his current lady friend, a lusty widow in Salamanca.

Her maid-of-all-work was the wife of a sergeant in Colin's company and would not arrive for at least an hour, so Catherine knelt by the fire herself. She laid twigs on the embers, wearily thinking how her life had turned out so differently from her dreams. When she'd married Colin at the age of sixteen, she'd believed in romantic love and high adventure. Instead she had found loneliness and dying boys like Jem.

Impatiently she got to her feet and hung the kettle over the fire. There was no place in her life for self-pity. If there was sorrow in her nursing work, there was also the satisfaction of knowing she was doing something that truly mattered. Though she didn't have the marriage she had hoped for, she and Colin had learned to rub along tolerably well. As for love-well, she had Amy. A pity she would never have any other children.

Mouth tight, she told herself what a lucky woman she was.

Chapter 2

Penreith, Wales

March 1815

Michael Kenyon neatly ticked off the last item on his list. The new mining machinery was working well, his recently hired estate manager was doing an excellent job, and his other businesses were running smoothly.

Since he had accomplished his other goals, it was time to look for a wife.

He rose from his desk and went to gaze at the mist-shrouded landscape. He had loved this dramatically beautiful valley and weathered stone manor from the moment he had seen them. Still, there was no denying that Wales in winter could be a lonely place, even for a man who was finally at peace with himself.

It had been more than five years since he had been involved with a woman. Five long, difficult years since the sick obsession that had destroyed every claim he had to honor and dignity. The madness had been useful during his warrior years, but it had warped his soul. Sanity had returned only after he had come perilously close to committing a deed that would have been truly unforgivable.

His mind sheered away, for it was painful to remember how he had betrayed his deepest beliefs. But the people he had wronged had forgiven him freely. It was time to stop flagellating himself and look to the future.

Which brought him back to the subject of a wife. His expectations were not unrealistic. While he was no paragon, he was presentable, well-born, and had a more than adequate fortune. He also had enough shortcomings that any self-respecting female would itch to improve him.

He wasn't looking for a grand passion. Christ, that was the last thing he wanted. He was incapable of that kind of love; what he had thought was a grand passion had been a warped, pathetic obsession. Instead of seeking romance, he would look for a woman of warmth and intelligence who would be a good companion. Someone with experience of life. Though she must be attractive enough to be beddable, great beauty was not necessary. In fact, based on his experience, stunning looks were a liability. Thank God he was past first youth and the idiotic susceptibility that went with it.

Personality and appearance were easy to assess. More difficult, but more vital, she must be honest and unflinchingly loyal. He had learned the hard way that without honesty, there was nothing.

Since this corner of Wales had few eligible females, he must go to London for the Season. It would be pleasant to spend a few months with no goal but pleasure. With luck, he would find a comfortable woman to share his life. If not, there would be other Seasons.

His reverie was interrupted by a knock. When he called permission to enter, his butler entered with a travel-stained pouch. "A message has arrived for you from London, my lord."

Michael opened the pouch to find a letter sealed with the signet of the Earl of Strathmore. He broke the wax with anticipation. The last time Lucien had sent such an urgent message, it had been a summons to join an intriguing rescue mission. Perhaps Luce had come up with something equally amusing to liven the late winter months.

Levity vanished when he scanned the terse lines of the message. He read it twice, then got to his feet. "Make sure Strathmore's messenger is properly taken care of, and tell the cook I might not be back for dinner. I'm going to Aberdare."

"Yes, my lord." Unable to restrain his curiosity, the butler asked, "Is there bad news?"

Michael smiled without humor. "Europe's worst nightmare has just come true."

His mind was so full of the news that Michael scarcely noticed the chilly mist as he rode across the valley to the grand mansion that housed the Earls of Aberdare. When he reached his destination, he dismounted and tossed his reins to a groom, then entered the house two steps at a time. As always when he visited Aberdare, he felt a sense of wonder that once again he could breeze into Nicholas's home as casually as when they had been schoolboys at Eton. Three or four years earlier, such ease had been as unthinkable as the sun rising in the west.

Since Michael was virtually a member of the family, the butler sent him directly to the morning room. He entered to find Lady Aberdare sitting beside a magnificently carved crib that held her infant son, Kenrick.

Michael smiled at the countess. "Good day, Clare. I gather that you can't bear to let Viscount Tregar out of your sight."

"Hello, Michael." Her eyes twinkled as she extended her hand. "It's very lowering-I feel exactly like a mother cat standing guard over her kittens. My friend Marged assures me that in another month or two, I shall become more sensible."

"You're always sensible." He kissed her cheek with deep affection. By her mere existence, Clare was an example of all that was good and true about womankind. Releasing her hand, he glanced into the crib. "Incredible how tiny fingers can be."

"Yet he has an amazing grip," she said proudly. "Give him a chance to demonstrate it."

Michael leaned over the crib and gingerly touched the baby's hand. Kenrick gurgled and locked his miniature fist forcefully around Michael's fingertip. Michael found himself unexpectedly moved. This minute scrap of humanity was living proof of Clare and Nicholas's love, with his father's wickedly charming smile and his mother's vivid blue eyes. Named for his paternal grandfather, Kenrick was a bridge from past to future.

There might have been a child of Michael's, who would have been almost five now…

Unable to bear the thought, he gently disengaged his finger and straightened. "Is Nicholas home?"

"No, but he should be back anytime now." Clare's brows drew together. "Has something happened?"

"Napoleon has escaped from Elba and landed in France," Michael said flatly.

Clare's hand went to the crib in an instinctive gesture of protection. From the doorway, there came the sound of a sudden intake of breath. Michael turned to see the Earl of Aberdare, his dark hair beaded with moisture from riding in the mist.

His mobile features uncharacteristically still, Nicholas said, "Any word on how the French people are receiving him?"

"Apparently they are welcoming him back with wild acclaim. There's an excellent chance that within the next fortnight, King Louis will run for his life and Bonaparte will be sitting in Paris and calling himself emperor again. It isn't as if Louis has endeared himself to his subjects." Michael pulled the letter from his pocket. "Lucien sent this."

Nicholas read the letter with a frown. "In a way, it's a surprise. In another way, it seems utterly inevitable."

"That was exactly how I felt," Michael said slowly. "As if I'd been waiting to hear this news, but hadn't known it."

"I don't suppose the allied powers will accept this as a fait accompli and let Napoleon keep the throne."

"I doubt it. The battle must be fought once more." Michael thought of the long years of war that had already passed. "When Boney is defeated this time, I hope to God they have the sense to execute him, or at least exile him a good long way from Europe."

Clare looked up from the letter, her gaze level. "You're going to go back to the army, aren't you?"

Trust Clare to guess a thought that had scarcely formed in Michael's mind. "Probably. I imagine that Wellington will be recalled from the Congress of Vienna and put in charge of the allied forces that will be raised to oppose Napoleon. With so many of his crack Peninsular troops still in America, he's going to need experienced officers."

Clare sighed. "A good thing Kenrick will be christened in two days. It would be a pity to do it without his godfather. You'll be here that long, won't you?"

"I wouldn't miss the christening for anything." Michael smiled teasingly, wanting to remove the concern from her eyes. "I only hope that lightning doesn't strike me dead when I promise to renounce the devil and all his works so I can guide Kenrick's spiritual development."

Nicholas chuckled. "If God was a stickler about such things, every baptismal font in Christendom would be surrounded by charred spots."

Refusing to be distracted, Clare said in a tone that was almost angry, "You're glad to be going to war again, aren't you?"

Michael thought about the tangle of emotions he had felt on reading Lucien's letter. Shock and anger at the French were prominent, but there were also deeper, harder-to-define feelings. The desire to atone for his sins; the intense aliveness experienced when death was imminent; dark excitement at the thought of practicing again the lethal skills at which he excelled. They were not feelings he wanted to discuss, even with Clare and Nicholas. "I've always regretted that I was invalided home and missed the last push from the Peninsula into France. It would give a sense of completion to go against the French one last time."

"That's all very well," Nicholas said dryly. "But do try not to get yourself killed."

"The French didn't manage it before, so I don't suppose they will this time." Michael hesitated, then added, "If anything does happen to me, the lease of the mine will revert to you. I wouldn't want it to fall into the hands of outsiders."

Clare's face tightened at his matter-of-fact reference to possible death. "You needn't worry," he said reassuringly. "The only time I was seriously wounded was when I wasn't carrying my good-luck piece. Believe me, I won't make that mistake again."

Intrigued, she said, "What kind of lucky piece?"

"It's something Lucien designed and built at Oxford. I admired it greatly, so he gave it to me. In fact, I have it here." Michael pulled a silver tube from inside his coat and gave it to Clare. "Lucien coined the word 'kaleidoscope,' using the Greek words for 'beautiful form.' Look in that end and point it toward the light."

She did as he instructed, then gasped. "Good heavens. It's like a brilliantly colored star."

"Turn the tube slowly. The patterns will change."

There was a faint rattle as she obeyed. She sighed with pleasure. "Lovely. How does it work?"

"I believe it's only bits of colored glass and some reflectors. Still, the effect is magical." He smiled as he remembered his sense of wonder the first time he had looked inside. "I've always fancied that the kaleidoscope contains shattered rainbows-if you look at the broken pieces the right way, eventually you'll find a pattern."

She said softly, "So it became a symbol of hope for you."

"I suppose it did." She was right; in the days when his life had seemed to be shattered beyond repair, he had found comfort in studying the exquisite, ever-changing patterns. Out of chaos, order. Out of anguish, hope.

Nicholas took the tube from Clare and gazed inside. "Mmm, wonderful. I'd forgotten this. If Lucien hadn't had the misfortune to be born an earl, he'd have made a first-class engineer."

They all laughed. With laughter, it was easy to ignore what the future might bring.

Chapter 3

Brussels, Belgium

April 1815

The aide-de-camp gestured for Michael to enter the office. Inside he found the Duke of Wellington frowning at a sheaf of papers. The duke glanced up and his expression lightened. "Major Kenyon-glad to see you. It's about time those fools in Horse Guards sent me someone competent instead of boys with nothing but family influence to commend them."

"It was a bit of a struggle sir," Michael replied, "but eventually I convinced them I might be of use."

"Later I'll want you with a regiment, but for the time being, I'm going to keep you for staff work. Matters are in a rare shambles." The duke rose and went to the window so he could scowl at a troop of Dutch-Belgian soldiers marching by. "If I had my Peninsular army here, this would be easy. Instead, too many of the British troops are untested, and the only Dutch-Belgians with experience are those who served under Napoleon's eagles and aren't sure which side they want to win. They'll probably bolt at the first sign of action." He gave a bark of laughter. "I don't know if this army will frighten Bonaparte, but by God, it frightens me."

Michael suppressed a smile. The dry humor proved the duke was unfazed by a situation that would dismay a lesser man.

They talked a few minutes longer about what duties Wellington had in mind. Then he escorted Michael out to the large anteroom. Several aides had been working there, but now they were gathered in a knot at the far end of the room.

The duke asked, "Have you found a billet, Kenyon?"

"No, sir. I came straight here."

"Between the military and the fashionable fribbles, Brussels is bulging at the seams." The duke glanced down the room. When a flash of white muslin showed between the officers, he said, "Here's a possibility. Is that Mrs. Melbourne distracting my aides from their work?"

The group dissolved, and a laughing woman emerged from the center. Michael looked at her, and went rigid from head to foot. The woman was beautiful-heart-stoppingly, mind-druggingly beautiful. As stunning as his mistress, Caroline, had been, and seeing her affected him the same way. He felt like a fish who had just swallowed a lethal hook.

As the lady approached and gave the duke her hand, Michael reminded himself that he was thirty-three years old, well past the age of instant infatuation with a pretty face. Yet the woman was lovely enough to cause a riot in a monastery. Her sleek dark hair was pulled back with a simplicity that emphasized the classic perfection of her features, and her graceful figure had a sensual lushness that would haunt any man's dreams.

To Wellington, she said drolly, "I'm sorry to have disturbed your officers. I merely stopped by to deliver a message to Colonel Gordon. But I shall leave directly, before you have me imprisoned for aiding and abetting the enemy!"

"Never that," Wellington said gallantly. "Kenyon, did you ever meet Mrs. Melbourne on the Peninsula? Her husband is a captain in the 3rd Dragoons."

Amazed at how calm his voice was, Michael replied, "I'm afraid I've never had the pleasure. The cavalry and the infantry don't always have much to say to one another."

The duke chuckled. "True, but Mrs. Melbourne was also known as Saint Catherine for her work nursing the wounded. Mrs. Melbourne, Major Lord Michael Kenyon."

She turned to Michael. Something flickered in her eyes, then vanished as she gave him her hand and a friendly smile. Her eyes were as striking as the rest of her, a shade of light, clear aqua unlike any he had ever seen.

"Mrs. Melbourne." As he bowed over her hand, the duke's words snapped a fragment of memory into place. Good God, could this elegant, frivolous female be the woman he had seen in the hospital after Salamanca? It was hard to believe.

As he straightened, the duke said, "Major Kenyon has just arrived in Brussels and is in need of a billet. Do you and Mrs. Mowbry have room in your menage for another officer?"

"Yes, we have space." She made a comically rueful face. "That is, if you can bear living in close quarters with three children and a variable number of pets. Besides my husband and Captain Mowbry, we have another bachelor, Captain Wilding."

This time he recognized the low, soothing voice that had crooned a dying boy to his final rest. This sleek creature really was the lady of Salamanca. Remarkable.

The duke remarked, "Wilding is a friend of yours, isn't he?"

A warning sounded in Michael's head, saying he would be a damned fool to stay under the same roof with a woman who affected him like this one did. Yet he found himself saying, "Yes, and I rather like pets and children as well."

"Then you're welcome to join us," she said warmly. "The way the city is filling up, we'll have to take in someone else sooner or later, so it might as well be now."

Before Michael had a chance for second thoughts or polite refusal, Wellington said, "It's settled, then. I'll expect you here in the morning, Kenyon. Mrs. Melbourne, I hope to see you next week at a small entertainment I shall be holditig."

She smiled. "It will be my pleasure."

As the duke returned to his office, Mrs. Melbourne said, "I'm on my way home now, Major. Shall I take you to the house? It's on the Rue de la Reine, not far from the Namur Gate."

They came out the front of the building. Neither carriage nor maid waited for her. He said, "Surely you're not walking alone?"

"Of course I am," she said mildly. "I enjoy walking."

He supposed that to a woman who had followed the drum, Brussels seemed very tame, but no woman so lovely should walk alone in a town full of soldiers. "Then let me escort you."

His groom and orderly were waiting nearby on horseback with his baggage, so he stopped to instruct them to follow. As he and Mrs. Melbourne set off along the Rue Royale, she tucked her hand in his arm. There was nothing flirtatious in the gesture. Rather, she had the easy manner of a comfortably married woman who was accustomed to being surrounded by men.

Deciding it was time to stop acting like a stunned ox, he remarked, "It's very good of you to let me share your billet. I suspect that good quarters are hard to find."

"Kenneth Wilding will be glad to have another infantryman under the same roof."

He grinned. "Surely you know that one infantryman is easily a match for two cavalry officers, Mrs. Melbourne."

"Just because the British cavalry is famous for chasing the enemy as wildly as they run after foxes, there's no reason to be caustic," she said with a laugh. "And please, call me Catherine. After all, we shall be living together like brother and sister for the indefinite future."

Brother and sister. She was so unaware of the paralyzing impact she had made on him that he began to relax. He had shared billets with married couples before, and he could do so now. "Then you must call me Michael. Have you been in Brussels long?"

"Only a fortnight or so. However, Anne Mowbry and I have shared quarters before, and we have the housekeeping down to a science." She gave him a humorous glance. "We run a very good boardinghouse, if I do say so. There's always food available for a man who has worked odd hours. Dinner is served for anyone who is home, and there's usually enough for an unexpected guest or two. In return, Anne and I request that any drunken revels be held elsewhere. The children need their sleep."

"Yes, ma'am. Are there any other house rules I should know?"

She hesitated, then said uncomfortably, "It will be appreciated if you pay your share of the expenses promptly."

In other words, money was sometimes tight. "Done. Let me know how much and when."

She nodded, then glanced at his green Rifleman's uniform. "Are you just back from North America?"

"No, I sold out last year after Napoleon abdicated and have been living a quiet civilian life. However, when I heard that the emperor had bolted again…" He shrugged.

"A civilian life," she said wistfully. "I wonder what it would be like to know one could stay in one house forever."

"You've never had that?"

She shook her head "My father was in the army, so it's the only life I've ever known."

No wonder she had learned to create comfort wherever she went. Her husband was a lucky man.

They fell into an easy conversation, for the Peninsular years had given them experiences in common. It was all quite casual-except for the fact that he was acutely conscious of the light pressure of her gloved fingers on his arm.

Deciding that he should mention their first encounter, he said, "We did meet three years ago after a fashion, Catherine."

She frowned, an enchanting furrow appearing between her brows. "I'm sorry, I'm afraid I don't remember."

"I was wounded at Salamanca. At the field hospital, you gave me water when I was desperately thirsty. I've never been so grateful for anything in my life."

She turned and studied his face, as if trying to recall.

"There was no reason for you to remember me among so many. But you might recollect the boy on the pallet next to me. He was calling for his mother, and thought you were she. You stayed with him until he died."

"Ahh…" She exhaled, her lighthearted charm dropping away to reveal the tenderness of the woman who had comforted Jem. "Poor boy. There was so little I could do. So damnably little." She turned her face away. "I suppose I should have become accustomed to such scenes, but I never did."

Her beauty had struck him like a blow to the heart. Her compassion struck a second, harder blow, for years of war had made him treasure gentleness. He took a deep, slow breath before replying. "Callousness is easier. Yet even though it hurts more, there is much to be said for remembering the uniqueness and worth of each person whose life touches ours."

She gave him a measured glance. "You understand, don't you? Most soldiers find it better not to." More briskly, she continued, "Our destination is that house on the corner. Rentals are low in Brussels, so we were able to get a place with a nice garden for the children, plenty of stable room, and even a carriage for a ridiculously low amount."

The large, handsome house was surrounded by a wall. Michael opened the gate for Catherine, then beckoned to his servants, who were ambling quietly behind them. His young batman, Bradley, had eyes as large as saucers as he stared at Catherine. Michael could hardly blame him when he himself felt the same way.

Calmly ignoring the boy's smitten expression, Catherine described the household, then waved the two men toward the stables behind the house. The vulnerability she had shown earlier was gone, leaving her a well-organized army wife again.

As she led Michael inside, three children and two dogs came sweeping down the stairs in a stampede of small but astonishingly noisy feet. A bright soprano said, "We've finished our lessons, Mama, so can we please play in the garden?"

While the children and a long, low-slung dog swirled around Catherine, the other dog, a splotchy beast of indeterminate ancestry, began barking at Michael. Laughter in her voice, Catherine said, "Silence, please, or we'll drive Major Kenyon to another billet. Clancy, stop barking." Michael's opinion of her went still higher when not only the children but the dog fell abruptly silent.

Catherine put an arm around the taller girl, who appeared to be about ten. "This is my daughter, Amy. Amy, Major Lord Michael Kenyon. He will be staying here."

He bowed gravely. "Miss Melbourne."

The girl gave a graceful curtsy. She had her mother's striking aqua eyes and dark hair. "A pleasure, Major Kenyon."

Catherine continued, "And this is Miss Molly Mowbry and Master James Mowbry."

Both children had red hair and lively expressions. Mary must be eight or nine, her brother a couple of years younger. Like Amy, they had impeccable manners.

After curtsying, Molly said, "You're a lord?"

"It's only a courtesy title," he replied. "My father is a duke, but I won't be a real lord, since I have an older brother."

"Oh." Molly digested that. "Captain Wilding is teaching us to draw. Do you know anything useful?"

Amy elbowed her and hissed, "Don't ask such questions."

Molly blinked her large hazel eyes. "Was that rude?"

Michael smiled. "Only because I'm afraid I don't have any interesting skills."

"No?" she said with disappointment.

He tried to think what might interest a child. Certainly not mining or investment strategy. "Well, I can tell when a storm is coming, but I don't think I can teach it to anyone else."

Her face brightened. "You could try."

Catherine intervened. "The major needs to get settled. You three go outside, and take Clancy and Louis the Lazy with you."

Michael watched in bemusement as the children and dogs obeyed. "Louis the Lazy?"

A voice from the stairs said, "He's the long, lethargic hound. Mostly he sleeps. It's his only talent."

He looked up to see a small-boned, pretty redhead descending the steps. With a smile, she said, "I'm Anne Mowbry."

After the introductions, they talked for a few minutes, until Anne said candidly, "Please excuse me. I'm in the family way again, and at the stage where all I want to do is sleep."

Michael was amused by her frankness. She was attractive, friendly, and charming. And, blessedly, she didn't scramble his wits the way Catherine did.

After Anne took her leave, Catherine began to ascend the stairs. "Your room is up here, Michael."

She led him to a sunny chamber that looked on to the side street. "Kenneth is across the hall. There's already fresh linen on the bed, since we knew it would be occupied soon."

She turned to face him. The movement brought her into the sunshine that poured through the window. Limned by light, she was like a goddess, too beautiful to be of the earth. Yet she also had a warm ability to create peace and happiness around her that reminded him of Clare.

Behind her was the bed. He had a brief, mad fantasy of stepping forward, taking her in his arms, and sweeping her down across the mattress. He would kiss those soft lips and explore the hidden riches of her body. In her arms, he would discover what he had been yearning for…

Her gaze met his and there was a strange moment of awareness between them. She knew that he admired her. Yet though she was surely used to male appreciation, she quickly looked down and concentrated on peeling off her gloves. "If you need anything, just ask Anne or me or Rosemarie, the head housemaid."

He forced himself to look at the gold band that glinted on her left hand. She was married. Untouchable. The wife of a brother officer… and he must get her out of his bedroom now. "I'm sure I'll be very comfortable. I won't be here for dinner tonight, but I look forward to meeting the rest of the household later."

Not looking at him, she said, "I'll send a maid with a house key later." Then she vanished into the hall.

He carefully closed the door behind her, then dropped into the armchair and rubbed his temples. After the disaster of Caroline, he had sworn that never, under any circumstances, would he touch another married woman. It was a vow he was determined to keep at any price. Yet Catherine Melbourne might have been designed by the devil to tempt him.

The sheer egotism of the remark brought a reluctant smile to his lips. If there was a lesson in his meeting Catherine, it was a reproach for his own smugness. He had been so sure that age and experience would protect him from the follies of infatuation. Not for him the idiocy of becoming entranced by a lovely face.

Obviously, he'd been a damned fool to think himself immune. Yet while it might not be possible to control his reaction to Catherine Melbourne, he could, and would, control his behavior. He would say no word, make no gesture, that could be interpreted as improper. He would behave toward her as he did toward Clare.

No, not like that-there could be no casually affectionate kisses or hugs between him and Catherine. This billet was unlikely to last more than a few weeks, and certainly he could control himself that long. After all, by tomorrow afternoon he would be too busy for infatuation.

Yet a sense of disquiet lingered. He rose and went to stare out the window. All soldiers had a streak of superstition, a belief in the unseen. Perhaps the lovely Catherine really was a test. He had thought he'd come to terms with the past, but maybe some divine judge had decreed that he must confront the same situation in which he had come to grief before, and this time master his dishonorable impulses.

On one thing he was grimly determined: he would not make the same mistake he had made before.

Chapter 4

Catherine walked slowly down the hall, not noticing her surroundings. After all her years among soldiers, she should be used to the fact that almost every man was handsome in a uniform. When Colin was in full dress regimentals, susceptible young girls had been known to swoon in admiration.

Even so, there was something particularly attractive about Major Kenyon. The dark green Rifleman's uniform was more austere than the garb of other regiments; however, it did wonderful things for his eyes, which were a rare, striking shade of true green. The uniform was equally complimentary to his broad shoulders, chestnut hair, and lean, powerful body…

But he was more than merely good-looking; like Wellington, he had the kind of compelling presence that enabled him to dominate a room without saying a word. She suspected that quality came from bone-deep confidence.

Though she had enjoyed talking to him, he was unsettlingly perceptive. She must take care that Major Kenyon did not get a chance to see below the polished surface she had worked so hard to perfect.

Odd that she was thinking of him so formally. Usually she preferred being on first-name terms with the officers around her. Her instincts must be saying that she should lot let him get too close. Luckily she was an expert at keeping men at a safe distance.

Shaking her head, she went to her bedroom to work on a basketful of mending. There was nothing like darning to bring one down to earth.

Catherine was about to go downstairs to check on the progress of dinner when her husband came in. "There are several new horses in the stables."

Colin took off his black leather helmet and tossed it onto the bed. "Good ones, too. Have we acquired a new billet mate?"

She nodded and made a small, precise stitch. "Major Lord Michael Kenyon of the Rifles. He sold out last year, but Napoleon's escape persuaded him to return. He's on the duke's staff, at least for now."

Colin's brows rose. "One of the high-born officers that Old Hookey likes because they can dance as well as they fight." He took off his jacket and shirt. "Could be a useful man to know. Did he act like he might go all soft over you?"

She looked down and bit off a knot, wishing Colin wasn't quite so blatant in his self-interest. It was true that an attractive wife was an asset to an officer, but she hated it when he urged her to flirt with his superiors. The first time he had done that, she had balked. He had been quick to point out that it was a wife's duty to promote her husband's -career. The unspoken implication was that she was an unsatisfactory wife in other ways. After that, she had done as he wished.

Though Lord Michael had obviously admired her looks, she was reluctant to expose him to Colin's speculations. Casually she said, "Major Kenyon showed no sign of being smitten by my infamous charms, I don't know about his dancing skills, but he fought in most of the major Peninsular campaigns."

"Sounds like a good addition to the house. Be extra charming-I'm overdue for promotion to major, and Kenyon must have influence with the duke."

"You'll get your promotion soon." She sighed. "There "should be ample opportunities for glory in the next few months."

"I certainly hope so." As Colin began changing into his dress uniform, his brow furrowed. "Kenyon… The name is familiar." He snapped his fingers. "Now I recall. After the Battle of Barossa, he had a commemorative medal struck for the men he commanded. Said they had done such an outstanding job that they deserved to be honored." Colin laughed. "Can you imagine doing such a thing for a company of drunken soldiers?"

Catherine gave him a cool glance. "I think he's right- exceptional bravery should be celebrated. The Rifles are some of the finest troops in the army, and part of the reason is because officers are encouraged to know and respect their men."

"Common soldiers aren't like us. His precious troops probably sold the medals for drink." Her husband ran a comb through his light brown hair. "I'm going to dine with friends. It will probably run late, so I won't be back tonight."

She wondered with detachment who the woman was. The ladies of Brussels were most hospitable to the allied officers who had come to save them from having to endure the emperor's yoke again.

She rose and collected his crumpled shirt and linen for the laundry basket. "Have a pleasant evening."

"I will," he said cheerfully.

She didn't doubt it.

Michael dined with army friends who were posted in the area. It was good to see them, though he took considerable ribbing over the fact that he couldn't seem to stay away from the army.

Predictably, conversation centered around the military situation. While officially there was still peace, no one doubted that as soon as Bonaparte had consolidated his position in Paris, he would march against the allies.

Michael returned to his new billet late and let himself in quietly. Candles had been left in the foyer and the upstairs hall. Catherine and Anne definitely ran a fine boarding-house.

A crack of light showed below the door opposite his, so he knocked there instead of entering his own room. Kenneth Wilding's familiar baritone told him to enter.

Michael did, and found his friend busy with a sketch pad. Kenneth was a first-rate caricaturist and draftsman, a skill which had aided his work as a reconnaissance officer in Spain.

Kenneth's eyes widened when he looked up from his drawing. "Good God, where did you spring from?"

Michael chuckled. "Didn't our lovely landladies tell you that I'm now occupying the room opposite yours?"

"No, I only got home a short time ago and everyone had already gone to bed." Kenneth rose and took Michael's hand. "Damn, but it's good to see you."

Dark, broadly built, and craggy, Kenneth Wilding looked more like a laborer than an officer and gentleman. He was one of.the rare officers who had been promoted from the ranks, an honor generally reserved for acts of suicidal bravery. While still a sergeant, he had kept Michael out of trouble when Michael had been a very green subaltern with his first command. Friendship had grown from mutual respect.

Michael studied his friend's face as they shook hands, glad to see that some of the terrible tension left by the Peninsular campaign had faded. "I've some whiskey across the hall. Shall I bring it over?"

"I haven't had any of that rotgot since you left Spain," Kenneth said, humor lurking in his gray eyes. "I've rather missed it. Whiskey makes brandy seem overcivilized."

Michael went for the bottle, almost tripping over Louis the Lazy, who was sprawled in front of his door. When he returned to Kenneth's room, the dog followed, flopping so that his jaw rested on Michael's boot. He studied Louis with amusement. "Does this beast welcome all newcomers this way, or am I just unlucky?"

Kenneth produced two glasses and poured each of them a drink. "Consider yourself blessed. With Louis on guard, any potential assailant will die laughing."

After they had exchanged news, Michael said, "Are Catherine and Anne real, or products of my fevered imagination?" '

"Aren't they amazing? I had the luck to share a chateau with them in Toulouse. When I found they were in Brussels, I came on bended knee to ask if there was room for a Rifleman. They are experts in the art of keeping men warm, well fed, and happy."

Knowing he shouldn't be so interested, Michael asked, "What are their fortunate husbands like?"

Kenneth swallowed a mouthful of whiskey. "You'll like Charles Mowbry. Quiet, but very capable and with a droll sense of humor."

"What about Melbourne?"

Kenneth hesitated until Michael remarked, "There is something ominous in your silence."

His friend studied his whiskey glass. "I don't know Melbourne well. He's a bluff cavalryman to the core. You know the sort-not unintelligent, but sees no reason to use his mind. Still, he's a good officer, from what I hear. Quite fearless."

"In the cavalry, courage is common. It's judgment that's rare. Is he worthy of the admirable Catherine?"

"I'm not in a position to say." Kenneth leaned over-and scratched behind Louis's floppy ears.She obviously thinks so. In Spain, she acquired the nickname Saint Catherine as much because of her virtue as for the nursing work she did. Half the men she meets fall in love with her, but she's never so much as looked at anyone other than her husband."

That put Michael in his place; he was merely one of a large crowd. Still, he was glad to hear that she was as good as she was beautiful. Once he had not believed such women existed.

He wondered what Kenneth wasn't saying, but enough questions had been asked. He lifted his friend's sketchbook from the desk. "May I?"

"If you like."

Michael smiled at the caricature Kenneth had been working on. "Clever the way you drew Bonaparte as a leering gargoyle. You should sell this to a print shop so it can be reproduced."

Kenneth shrugged off the suggestion. He invariably dismissed compliments by saying that his talent was no more than a minor knack for drawing.

Michael flipped through the pages of the sketchbook. After several architectural studies of a richly baroque guild hall, he found a drawing of Amy Melbourne and the Mowbry children playing. With a few swift lines, Kenneth had caught the fluid motions of a running game, plus the character of each child. It never ceased to amaze Michael that his friend's large hands could draw with such subtlety and grace.

"This is a nice sketch of the children." As he turned the page, he added, "The first thing Molly said was that you were teaching them how to draw."

Kenneth smiled a little. "Both girls are good students. Jamie isn't interested in anything that doesn't have four hooves, a mane, and a tail."

After more sketches of the children and one of Anne Mowbry, Michael turned the page and found himself looking at Catherine Melbourne. His heart constricted at the image of her standing on a rocky shore, her expression otherworldly. A sea wind unfurled her dark hair like a banner and molded her classical tunic to the curves of her splendid figure.

He studied the picture hungrily, in a way that would have been rude with the real woman. Trying to sound casual, he said, "A good drawing of Catherine. Is she meant to be a Greek goddess, or perhaps the legendary Siren whose songs lured men to their doom?"

"The Siren." Kenneth frowned. "The picture isn't that good, though. Her features are so regular that she's difficult to draw. Also, there's a sort of haunted look in her eyes that I didn't manage to catch."

Michael looked at the picture more carefully. "Actually, you did get some of that. What would haunt a beautiful woman?"

"I have no idea," Kenneth replied. "In spite of her easy manners, Catherine doesn't reveal much of herself."

There was definitely something his friend wasn't saying, for the very good reason that Catherine Melbourne's private life was none of Michael's business. Yet as he turned to the next page, he said offhandedly, "If you ever do a sketch of her you don't want, I'll be happy to take it off your hands."

Kenneth gave him a sharp glance, but said only, "Take that one if you like. As I said, I wasn't satisfied with it."

Michael removed the drawing, then continued paging through the sketchbook. He was a damned fool to ask for the picture of a woman who could never be part of his life. Yet when he was old and gray, if he lived that long, he would want to remember her face, and the way she had made him feel.

Wellington was right that the situation was a shambles. As soon as Michael appeared at headquarters the next morning, he was thrown a mountain of work involving supplies and equipment. As the duke said tartly, Major Kenyon might not be a quartermaster, but at least he knew what fighting men needed.

The work required total concentration, and by the end of the day, Michael's intense reaction to Catherine Melbourne was no more than a hazy memory. He headed back to the house on the Rue de la Reine for dinner, thinking it would be good to see her again. She was a charming, lovely woman, but there was no reason for him to behave like a love-crazed juvenile. A second meeting would cure him of his budding obsession.

Catherine had mentioned that the house custom was to gather for predinner sherry. After changing, Michael went down and found Anne Mowbry and a gentleman already in the drawing room. "

"I'm glad you could be here for dinner tonight, Michael." Anne turned her head, setting her auburn curls dancing. "This is my husband, Captain Charles Mowbry."

Mowbry greeted him with a friendly handshake. "I've been admiring your horses, Major Kenyon. It doesn't seem fair that such first-rate mounts should be wasted on an infantry officer."

Michael chuckled. "No doubt you're right, but I have a friend who's half Gypsy, and the horses he breeds are marvelous. I'm fortunate that he let me buy two. Usually he'll give them up only in return for a man's firstborn son."

Mowbry glanced teasingly at his wife. "It would be worth trading Jamie for that chestnut, wouldn't it?^"

She rolled her eyes. "Don't ask me that today. After the trouble Jamie has been, I'm ready to consider any offers!"

They all laughed. Soon they were chatting like old friends. Then Catherine Melbourne appeared in the doorway in a shimmering sea-green gown that emphasized her remarkable eyes. "Good evening, everyone," she said lightly.,

Michael glanced toward her, and his confident belief that he was immune to her beauty shattered into flinders. The best that could be said was that the shot-in-the-heart feeling he experienced was no longer a surprise.

He studied Catherine as she crossed the room toward the others. Her appeal was beyond beauty and warmth, though she had those in abundance. Kenneth, with his artist's eye, had seen the haunted vulnerability beneath her dazzling surface, and now Michael could see it, too. Catherine was that most dangerous of creatures: a woman who aroused as much tenderness as desire.

"Good evening." He had learned as a child how to conceal his emotions, and now he invoked a lifetime of self-control so that no one, especially not her, would suspect how he felt. "I'm thanking my lucky stars that I found this billet. It's the only one I've ever had that included a dog to sleep on my bed."

Her eyes sparkled mischievously. "Interesting. If I were a dog, I should think twice about pestering you. Obviously Louis knew better. He already has you wrapped around his paw."

While Michael wondered if he appeared that intimidating, the Mowbrys began offering Louis the Lazy stories. Clearly he was a dog who made an impression wherever he went.

Kenneth was not returning to dine, but a few minutes later Colin Melbourne appeared. The man was very handsome, with the confidence that came of a complete lack of self-doubt. Catherine went to her husband and took his arm. The two made a striking couple. "Colin, I want you to meet our newest resident."

After the introduction, Melbourne said heartily, "Good to meet you, Lord Michael. As long as that room was empty, there was a risk someone unsuitable might be billeted here. Another so-called officer who was promoted from the ranks, for instance."

The Mowbrys and Catherine shifted uncomfortably, but Michael's anger was tempered with relief. He had feared that he might dislike Melbourne for being Catherine's husband. Instead, he would be able to dislike the man for his blatant snobbery. No wonder Kenneth had been guarded in discussing him. Voice edged, Michael said, "Someone like Kenneth Wilding, for example?"

Suddenly cautious, Melbourne said, "No slur intended. For a man of his class, Wilding does a good job of aping gentlemanly manners. Still, there's no substitute for breeding. As a son of the Duke of Ashburton, surely you would agree."

"I can't say that I've ever seen a strong correlation between breeding and character. After all, Kenneth had the poor taste to go to Harrow. One would have hoped for better from the only son of Lord Kimball." Michael downed the last of his sherry. "Still, even an old Etonian like me has to admit that Harrovians usually give the appearance of gentlemen."

Melbourne's jaw dropped. Since Harrow was as prestigious as Eton, even a bluff cavalryman couldn't miss the sarcasm.

Rallying, Melbourne said with disarming ruefulness, "Forgive me-I just made a bloody fool of myself, didn't I? I've never spoken with Wilding much, and I made the mistake of assuming he was no more than a jumped-up sergeant."

It was well done, though Melbourne's charm did not quite outweigh his boorishness. Michael replied, "It probably appealed to Kenneth's antic sense of humor to let you keep your preconceptions."

Melbourne's brow furrowed. "If he's actually the Honorable Kenneth Wilding, why did he enlist as a private?"

Michael knew the answer, but it was none of the other man's business. He said only, "Kenneth likes a challenge. He was my sergeant when I was a raw subaltern. I was fortunate to have him. After he and his squad captured three times their number of Frenchmen, I recommended him for a field promotion." He set his glass on a table with an audible click. "I was amazed the army actually had the sense to make him an officer."

His comment produced a lively discussion about the idiocies of the upper ranks of the army, a topic that occupied the group well into dinner. It was a pleasant meal, with excellent food and good conversation. Even Colin Melbourne wasn't bad company, though he'd obviously never had an original thought in his life.

Yet when dinner was over, Michael could not recall a single bite he had eaten. What he remembered was Catherine's elegant profile, her rich laughter, the creamy smoothness of her skin.

He resolved to dine out whenever possible.

Chapter 5

It was well past midnight when Michael opened the door to the kitchen. He stopped in his tracks. "Sorry, I didn't expect to find anyone here."

Catherine Melbourne glanced up from the hearth where she was feeding the fire. "No reason why you should-all sane citizens are in bed." She rose and brushed off her hands. "The duke must be keeping you busy. You've been here a week, and I think I've only seen you once."

It might be wiser to retreat, but it would also be unpardonably rude. Michael entered the kitchen. "Most evenings I've been showing the flag at entertainments given by the English fashionables who have come to Brussels in hopes of excitement."

"I suspected as much. Wellington has always liked having his senior officers attend important social functions, and that must be particularly true now, when he doesn't want the civilians to become too alarmed over the military situation." She gave a teasing smile. "I'm sure you're much in demand to add your aristocratic luster to all of the routs and balls."

Michael made a face. "I'm afraid so. But why haven't I seen you? Wellington is also fond of the company of attractive ladies, so I would think you and Anne and your husbands would be on the prime guest lists."

"We're usually invited, but Colin is often… otherwise occupied." She lifted a wooden spoon and stirred a pot simmering on the hob. "When Anne and Charles attend, I usually go with them, but she has been feeling too tired for socializing, so I haven't been out lately. Except for the duke's own entertainments, of course. Everyone goes to them."

Michael hesitated before making the offer that would be automatic and uncomplicated with any other woman. "If you need an escort, I would be honored to oblige."

Her head came up quickly and she studied his expression. Apparently satisfied with what she found, she said, "Thank you. There are events I would enjoy, but I'd rather not go alone."

"Fine. Tell my batman, Bradley, which functions you wish to attend and I'll be at your disposal." He covered a yawn with his hand. "Today, though, I rode to Ghent and back. I haven't eaten since breakfast, so I decided to raid the larder. Have you also come in search of a late meal?"

She tossed her long braid over her shoulder as she straightened from the pot. Tendrils of glossy dark hair curled against her slim throat. "I couldn't sleep. I came down to heat some milk, but this soup smelled so good I changed my mind."

The pale edge of a nightgown showed above her lightweight blue cotton robe. Though the garments covered her more thoroughly than a regular dress, the effect was destractingly intimate. Worse, the kitchen was lit only by two candles and the fire, and the shadowy darkness was rather like a bedroom…

He looked away. "Is there a household protocol for late-night pantry theft?"

"Not really-whatever you can find is fair prey. There's generally soup simmering on the hob. This one is a rather nice chicken and vegetable concoction." She gestured toward the pantry. "There are also cold meats, cheeses, and bread. Help yourself while I set a place for you."

"You shouldn't be waiting on me."

"Why not?" She went to a cupboard and removed heavy white servants' dishes. "I know my way around this kitchen, and I haven't had as hard a day as you."

"I thought raising children is the hardest work there is."

Her brows rose. "Men aren't supposed to know that."

"A female once broke down and disclosed the secret to me."

She eyed him thoughtfully. "I imagine that women are always telling you secrets."

Preferring to keep the conversation impersonal, he took his candle into the pantry. "The local cheeses are wonderful, aren't they? And the breads, too."

"The food is so good it's easy to understand why the French believe the country should be part of France. Would you like wine? There's a jug of very decent vin ordinaire here."

"Sounds wonderful, though I warn you, two glasses and I'll fall asleep on the table."

"If that happens, I'll tuck a blanket around you," she said serenely. "This is a very pragmatic household."

By the time Michael emerged from the pantry, the pine table was set and steaming bowls of soup were in place. Kenneth was right-Catherine was an expert at keeping men happy and well fed. She would be a rare prize even if she weren't beautiful.

As he started to slice the cheese, he heard a canine whimper. He glanced under the table and found Louis regarding him with mournful hound eyes. He grinned and tossed a small piece of cheese to the dog, who deftly snapped it out of the air. "For a beast called Louis the Lazy, he is remarkably good at turning up wherever people or food are found."

Catherine laughed. "He's from an old French hunting breed called basset because they're so low. Like the French soldiers in the Peninsula, he's a first-rate forager. He and the kitchen cat are always competing for the best bits."

A polite meow announced that a plump tabby had materialized beside Michael's chair. In the interests of fairness, he gave her a sliver of ham before applying himself to his meal.

Silence reigned for the next minutes. Yet despite his consumption of an embarrassing amount of food, he was intensely aware of Catherine on the other side of the table. Even the movement of her throat when she swallowed was erotic. Yet paradoxically, her presence was restful. His mistress, Caroline, had been many things, but never restful.

Noticing his bowl was empty, Catherine asked, "Would you like more soup?"

"Please."

She picked up the bowl and went to the fireplace, which was large enough to roast a calf. As she bent to the soup pot, her lush breasts swayed fluidly beneath the soft material of her robe. He went rigid, unable to look away.

Louis lurched to his feet and followed her hopefully. "Go away, hound," she said firmly as she ladled soup into the bowl.

Ignoring the order, Louis whined and reared up on his hind legs, banging his head into the bowl. It tilted and soup splashed onto the hearth. She jumped backward, then said severely, "You're due for a review lesson in manners, Louis." The dog hung his head with comical guilt.

Michael smiled at the byplay. He was enjoying himself more than at any of the glittering social events of the last week, and his attraction to Catherine was not getting out of hand.

Catherine refilled the bowl and turned toward him. With all his attention on her face, it took him a moment to notice that flames were licking up the left side of her robe. His heart jerked with horror. Christ, when she stepped back, her hem must have brushed the blazing coals.

He sprang to his feet and whipped around the table. "Catherine, your robe is burning!"

She looked down and gave a gasp of sheer terror. The bowl crashed to the floor and Louis bolted away, but Catherine didn't move. Paralyzed, she stared at the yellow-orange flames as they consumed the light fabric with ever-increasing hunger.

In the seconds it took Michael to leap across the kitchen, the fire had flared almost to her elbow. He untied her sash with a yank and dragged her robe from her shoulders, almost knocking her from her feet. Steadying her with his left hand, he hurled the burning garment into the fireplace with his right. A fountain of sparks shot up the chimney.

Ignoring his singed knuckles, he pulled her away from the hearth and turned her to face him. "Are you all right?"

A stupid question; she was in shock, her face as white as her nightgown. Fearing she would collapse, he drew her into his arms. Her heart was hammering so hard he could feel it against his ribs, and she seemed barely aware of him.

"You're safe, Catherine," he said sharply. "You're safe."

She hid her face against his shoulder and began sobbing. He held her close and murmured words of comfort. Her dark silky braid slid seductively across the back of his hand. He was guiltily aware of every inch of her length pressed against him-and her rosewater scent, and the pressure of her soft breasts against his chest.

This was as close to her as he would ever be. Yet he could not savor it because it was impossible to take real pleasure in her nearness when she was distraught.

Her tears gradually faded, but she was still chilled and her breathing was quick and shallow. Gently he guided her into a chair. She buried her face in her hands, exposing the fragile curve of her nape.

As he removed his jacket, he saw that the areolas of her breasts were dimly visible under her white muslin nightgown. The tantalizing sight caused him to begin to harden.

Good God, what kind of animal was he, to feel desire for a woman shaking with fear? As much for decency as for warmth, he draped the heavy wool jacket over her shoulders. The garment was far too large, so he crossed the braided panels double over her chest, painfully careful not to brush her breasts with his fingers. She stared at him numbly, still not speaking.

He knelt in front of her and took her hands in his. The dark green jacket intensified the hue of her aqua eyes. "Should I go for your husband?"

She said unsteadily, "Colin isn't home tonight."

"Do you want me to wake Anne?"

"Really, I'm fine." She tried to smile. "There's no need to disturb anyone else."

"Liar." He started chafing her cold fingers. "Seldom have I seen anyone who looked less fine."

She gave a watery chuckle. "I'm a disgrace to the army, aren't I?" Her hands knotted into fists. "I'm usually fairly levelheaded, but… well, my parents died in a fire."

He winced, understanding her shattering reaction to the accident. "I'm so sorry. How did it happen?"

"I was sixteen," she said haltingly. "My father's regiment was posted to Birmingham. We rented a charming old cottage that was covered with roses all summer. I thought it would be lovely to live there forever. Then winter came, and one night the chimney caught on fire. I awoke smelling smoke. I screamed to wake my parents, but the fire was already out of control. My bedroom was on the ground floor and I was able to escape out the window." She closed her eyes and shuddered. "My parents were upstairs. I kept screaming until half the village was there, but… Mama and Papa never woke."

He squeezed her hands, then stood. "Is there brandy in the cabinet in the dining room?"

"Yes, but really, it's not necessary."

Ignoring her protest, he said, "Will you be all right while I get the bottle?"

Feeling a shadow of humor, she said, "Believe me, I'm not going anywhere for a while."

He scooped the kitchen cat from under the table and set it on her lap. "Here. There are few things more comforting than a purring cat." Then he took a candlestick and left with long, soundless strides.

Catherine leaned back in the chair, stroking soft feline fur. It was a good thing Michael had given her the tabby, because her fragile peace of mind vanished along with him. She had not realized how safe he had made her feel until he was gone.

When she glanced down and saw the scorched hem of her nightgown, panic began rising again. She pulled Michael's jacket closer around her shoulders. It still carried his body heat. When he had wrapped the garment around her, the tenderness of the gesture had brought her near tears again. She had not felt so cared-for since she was a child.

Tartly she reminded herself that she had escaped unscathed and there was no excuse for hysteria. A towel was draped over the arm of her chair, so she lifted it and blew her nose. Then she concentrated on soothing the nervous cat. By the time Michael returned, the tabby was purring and Catherine had regained a semblance of calm.

"Drink up. You need this." He splashed brandy into two glasses and gave her one, then settled in the opposite chair. He sat casually, one arm resting on his upraised knee, but his watchful gaze was on her face.

"Thank you." She sipped the brandy, grateful for the way it warmed her bones. "Since we couldn't live without fire, I've had to suppress my fear of it. I didn't know how much terror was lurking inside me. If you hadn't been here, I probably would have stood like a frightened rabbit while I burned."

"You're entitled to your fear," he said quietly. "Quite apart from your parents' tragedy, far too many women have died or been horribly injured in accidents exactly like yours."

"Thanks to you, that didn't happen." She leaned back in her chair, rubbing the cat's chin with one finger as she drank.

Odd how the fire that had terrorized her was now so pleasant, its ruddy glow finding auburn highlights in Michael's hair. At their first meeting, she had found his austere good looks unsettling. He had reminded her of a finely honed sword, a quality she had glimpsed in other men who were born warriors. Very quickly she had discovered his humor, but it had taken near-catastrophe for her to recognize his kindness.

She did not realize that she had emptied her glass until he rose and poured more for both of them. She regarded the brandy doubtfully. "You're going to get me tipsy."

"Perhaps, but with luck you'll sleep soundly."

She thought of the nightmares she had experienced after her parents had died, and took a deep swallow. Wanting to talk about something safe, she said, "Charles Mowbry mentioned that you were a member of a group called the Fallen Angels. It that a club?"

He made a deprecating gesture. "It's only a foolish label that fashionable society slapped on four of us who have been friends since Eton. It originated in the fact that two of us have archangel names, and the other two, Lucien and Nicholas, acquired the rather sinister nicknames Lucifer and Old Nick."

She smiled. "I've known a lot of young officers over the years, and from what I've observed, I'd bet that you enjoyed having diabolical reputations."

Laughter showed in his eyes. "We did, actually, but now that I am respectably adult I don't like to admit it."

"Are you all still friends?"

"Very much so." His expression was wry. "Nicholas's wife, Clare, said we adopted each other because our families were less than satisfactory. I suspect she was right. She usually is."

The oblique comment made Catherine wonder what Michael's family was like. Now that she thought of it, when his noble relations were mentioned, he was always curt to a point just short of rudeness. But it wasn't hard to see him as a fallen angel, handsome and dangerous. "What are your friends like?"

He smiled a little. "Imagine a great long wall blocking the path as far as one can see in both directions. If Nicholas came to it, he would shrug and decide he didn't really need to go that way. Rafe would locate whoever was in charge of the wall and talk his way past it, and Lucien would find some stealthy way to go under or around without being seen."

"What about you?"

His smile turned rueful. "Like a mad spring ram, I would bash my head into the wall until it fell down."

She laughed. "A good trait for a soldier."

"This is actually my third go-around in the army. I first bought a commission at twenty-one. The military situation was very frustrating, though, so I sold out after a couple of years."

She made mental calculations from what he had told her of his battle experience. "You must have bought another commission "after Wellington went to the Peninsula."

He nodded. "It was appealing to know that real progress was finally being made against Napoleon." His expression became opaque. "And there were… other reasons."

Painful ones, from his expression. "So you sold out when the emperor abdicated, then returned yet again." She tilted her head to one side. "Why do men fight?"

He gave her a bemused glance. "Having spent your life among soldiers, surely you know the answer to that."

"Not really."

"Well, the army and navy are honorable careers for gentlemen, particularly younger sons like me who need something to keep us out of trouble," he said dryly.

"Yes, but that doesn't explain why many men take pleasure in what is so terrible." She thought of the army hospitals she had worked in, and shivered. "Half the soldiers I know are panting for another chance to be blown to bloody bits."

He swirled his brandy as he thought. "There is no greater horror than war. Yet at the same time, one never feels more alive. It's both a heightening of life and an escape from it. That can become a drug."

"Did it for you?"

"No, but there was a danger that it would. It's one reason I sold out." His expression changed. "Why am I prosing on like this? You must be bored senseless."

"Not at all. You've taught me more about the essence of war than I've learned in a lifetime surrounded by soldiers." She sighed.

"Your answer explains why there are always more men yearning- to fight, even at the risk of death."

As silence fell, she leaned her head against the high chair back, idly studying Michael's fire-washed features. He really was extraordinarily attractive, all lean, pantherish muscle. She could watch him for hours, memorizing the fine lines at the corners of his eyes, and the way his white shirt emphasized the breath of his shoulders. As his long, tanned fingers fondled Louis's ears, she wondered what they would feel like on her____________________

With a shock, she realized that the languid warmth in her limbs was desire. She had forgotten what it felt like.

Luckily she did not have a passionate nature. Even at sixteen, when she had thought herself in love with Colin, her common sense had been firmly in control of her behavior. After marriage taught her that passion was a wicked trap, she had never once been tempted to respond to the men who wanted to coax her into immorality.

She had learned early that her appearance could incite men to behave like idiots, which was not only embarrassing but potentially dangerous. Twice Colin had challenged men for distressing his wife. Fortunately the men in question had given apologies and no duels had resulted, but the incidents had made her realize that she must find a way to make men behave.

By the age of nineteen, she had learned the trick. A reputation for unswerving virtue was part of her method, coupled with a sisterly manner and a total absence of flirtatiousness. Realizing that they could never be lovers, men either left her alone or became friends and protectors. It had been years since a man had given her real trouble, and Michael was too much a gentleman to change that.

Wanting to hear his deep voice again, she said, "You mentioned that one of your Fallen Angel friends had married. Do the others have wives also?"

"Lucien married this past Christmas- Eve." Michael-smiled fondly. "His wife, Kit, is like a gazelle, all long legs and shy eyes. But she has a mind like a rapier, and the courage of a lioness. I don't know if Rafe will ever marry. I think he prefers his life exactly the way it is."

"What about you?" She was immediately sorry she had spoken. Only the amount of brandy she had consumed could explain why she had asked such a personal question.

Unperturbed, Michael answered, "I was going to spend the spring in London with an eye to surveying the marriage mart, but Napoleon played ducks and drakes with my plans."

"He ruined the plans of many people."

Michael shrugged. "There will be other Seasons."

The thought of Michael seeking a wife among the brightest belles of society gave her a strange twist of regret. She had met Colin shortly before her parents' death, and married him a month after the double funeral, thinking his strength and love would support her in her grief. It had not taken long to realize that his emotions did not run deep, and that she was stronger than he in most ways.

She had no right to complain-but there were times when she longed to have someone to lean on. Instinctively she knew that if she had married a man like Michael, she would have a husband who would share the burdens of life-a man who could support her when she felt too tired to carry on.

Knowing she must not think of such things, she rose and gently deposited the cat in the middle of the warm chair seat. "I'd better go to bed while I can still manage the stairs."

She took a step, then wavered, her head spinning.

Instantly Michael was on his feet steadying her. She leaned against his shoulder until her head cleared. "Sorry," she murmured. "I haven't much of a head for brandy."

He guided her to the stairs with a hand on her elbow. "I'm the one who must apologize for corrupting you with strong drink."

His touch gave her a sudden, sharp memory of what it had felt like when he held her in his arms. How could she remember so clearly now when she had been weeping her eyes out then?

Striving for lightness, she said, "Nonsense. They call me Saint Catherine, you know. I'm quite incorruptible."

He smiled appreciatively, his green eyes alight with amusement. The intimate warmth of his expression almost knocked her from her feet again. With a sinking sensation in her stomach, she realized that she had never been so drawn to a man, not even when she was sixteen and infatuated with Colin.

Thank God that Michael had no improper designs on her. He might admire her looks, but he was one of those honorable men who had no interest in married women. She guessed that when he married, he would also be a faithful husband. His future wife was a lucky woman.

Since she and Michael could never be lovers, she must make him her friend. In the long run, that would be better, for-friendship lasted longer and hurt less than passion.

Yet as he escorted her to her room, she knew that if any man could lead her astray, it would be this one.

Chapter 6

The next evening Michael decided to dine at home to see how Catherine was faring. He arrived late at the sherry hour.

Anne Mowbry smiled and offered her hand when he entered. "I can't believe it! Every one of our stalwart officers is here tonight. I'd begun to think I had imagined you, Michael."

"I thought I had better put in an appearance before you forgot my existence and gave my room to someone else."

She chuckled, then turned back to Kenneth Wilding. Michael went to Catherine, who was dispensing sherry and looking as calm as always. As he accepted a glass, he asked quietly; "Any ill effects from last night?"

"A headache for my excesses, but no nightmares." She glanced at the coals, burning in the fireplace. "And I can look at flames without going into a flat panic."

"Good."

He was about to move away when she said, "Is the offer of escort still good? Lady Trowbridge is giving a musicale tomorrow, and I'd like to attend. She assured me that the string quartet she has engaged is quite extraordinary."

"It would be my pleasure."

As they set on a time, dinner was announced. The meal passed smoothly. Michael was becoming used to the ache of yearning he felt whenever he was near Catherine. Thank God she saw him only as a friend. If there had been the least hint of reciprocal interest on her part, the situation would be impossible. He would have had to find another billet even if it meant living in a woodshed.

After dinner he had to put in an appearance at two receptions, but he left both as quickly as possible. He needed a solid night's sleep. The previous night had been haunted by painfully vivid thoughts of Catherine. Whenever he closed his eyes, he had seen her candid aqua eyes, smelled the intimate fragrance of rosewater and woman on her satin skin, felt the seductive pressure of her body against his.

Finally he had fallen into a restless sleep, only to dream of making love to her in a world where she was free and they could be together without dishonor. He had woken exhausted and depressed. Why the hell couldn't he become obsessed with a woman who was eligible?

Because he had never done anything the easy way in his life. His friend Lucien had pointed that out upon several occasions.

The house on Rue de la Reine was still, though a scattering of lamps provided dim light. He was about to go upstairs when he heard a man's voice. Thinking it sounded like Kenneth, he turned down the hall that bisected the house. He came to the cross passage and looked left. Then he halted, feeling as if he had been punched in the stomach.

In the shadows at the end of the passage, Colin Melbourne was embracing his wife, his mouth devouring and his hand up her skirt. Catherine was flattened against the wall, invisible except for her dark hair and the pale folds of her gown. As Michael watched, paralyzed, Colin unbuttoned his breeches, then thrust into her. She whimpered with pleasure.

Michael suddenly had trouble drawing enough air into his lungs. No doubt the Melbournes should be envied for having such a passionate relationship after so many years of marriage, but seeing them together nauseated him. Thank God they were so engrossed in each other that neither had noticed his presence.

He was retreating when a female voice giggled. "Ah, mon capitaine, mon beau Anglais…"

He stopped dead, then swung around. Colin's forehead was pressed against the wall, revealing his partner's face. The woman was not his wife, but one of the Belgian maids, a dark-haired wench about Catherine's height. Her head was thrown back and her mouth was open, revealing large, irregular teeth.

Michael's sick feeling vanished in a flood of pure rage. How could the filthy bastard betray and humiliate his wife like this, and under her own roof? He deserved to be horsewhipped.

It took all of Michael's control to turn away. Blood throbbing in his temples, he climbed the stairs two at a time. He had intended to go to his room, but there was light under Kenneth's door. He knocked, then walked in without waiting.

His friend looked up from a letter he was writing. "What happened? You look like murder."

"I feel like it." Michael slammed his shako onto the bed, almost breaking the plume. "Colin Melbourne is down in the west hall humping one of the maids. Christ, has the man no decency?"

"Not much," Kenneth said calmly. "I've heard he'll mount anything in skirts. He's usually fairly discreet, but if a wench is willing, he wouldn't say no, even in his own house."

"How can he?" Michael growled. "How could any man with a wife like Catherine look elsewhere?"

"I wouldn't presume to guess. But why are you so shocked? Society is full of men with the morals of tomcats, and women who are no better."

Michael stalked across the room, knowing Kenneth was right, but still outraged. "Does-Catherine-know how her husband behaves?"

"I'd be very surprised if she didn't. She's an intelligent" woman, and she knows the world. In this case, rather better than you do. If you're thinking of-telling her what you. saw, don't. She wouldn't thank you for it."

"I suppose you're right," Michael said reluctantly. "But Catherine deserves better than a womanizing, narrow-minded oaf.-"

"Whatever his failings, Melbourne manages to keep his wife satisfied. It's none of your business if he has a regiment of dollymops, Michael." Kenneth's brows drew together. "Perhaps I should repeat that. It's none of your business."

Michael stared out the window into the night. Again, Kenneth was. right. No outsider could really understand a marriage, and he had no right to interfere, even for well-intentioned reasons. God knew, his good intentions had led him to hell before.

But this time was different. Was it, or was he merely, demonstrating his dangerous talent for self-deception? Saint Michael, going off to slay all the wrong dragons.

Behind him, Kenneth said softly, "She's married, Michael."

"Do you think I'm not aware of that every moment?" he said tightly. He took several deep breaths before turning to his friend. "Don't worry-I'm not going to lay a finger on her, or on him, for that matter. I just wish for her sake that her husband was decent and honorable, like Charles Mowbry."

"Maybe she's the sort of good woman who finds a wicked man irresistible," Kenneth said dryly. "I've never seen a hint that she regrets her choice of husband."

Michael smiled humorlessly. "There's a poker by your fireplace. Do you want to hit me over the head with it, in case I haven't gotten the message yet?"

"I'll refrain, unless I see you going after Melbourne with blood in your eye." Kenneth dipped his pen in the inkstand and absently sketched a tiny weasel in the margin of his letter. "Speaking of which, Melbourne has been amazingly polite to me the last few days."

Michael sank into a chair. "My fault. He irritated me so much that I told him about your noble birth. Sorry."

Kenneth's mouth tightened. "You've really got to do something about that temper."

"I thought it was under control, but Colin Melbourne seems able to make mice feet of my good intentions."

"Ah, well, it's amusing to watch him try to overcome past rudeness in the hopes that I might be useful to him someday. Little does he know what a waste of time that is."

Needing to get his mind away from Catherine and her husband, Michael asked, "Have you and the other intelligence officers learned what Bonaparte is up to?"

"Hell knows. Not being allowed to set a foot on French soil is damned limiting. I wish someone would declare war and make everything official. Do you have any good headquarters gossip?"

"The duke doesn't share his thoughts with underlings, but it doesn't take a genius to see trouble on all sides." Michael frowned. "The Prussians are being difficult. Prince Blucher is sound, but many of his staff are suspicious of the British, which is why their headquarters are a good fifty miles from Brussels. It creates a serious weak point between the armies."

"One which the emperor will be quick to exploit if he decides to invade Belgium."

"Exactly. My personal opinion is that Napoleon will march north very soon. So many French veterans have flocked to fight under the imperial eagles again that Bon-ey's army will probably be larger than Wellington's, as well as vastly more experienced."

"The combined allied forces will greatly outnumber the French," Kenneth pointed out.

Michael raised his brows sardonically. "Do you think Boney will give the Allies a chance to assemble into one great army? He's always preferred attack, and in his present situation audacity is his only hope. The longer he delays, the more time Wellington will have to whip this ragtag army into a real fighting force and to get his veterans back from America."

"In any equal battle, I'd back Wellington over Napoleon hands down," Kenneth agreed. "But now the duke is in the damnable position of trying to make bricks without straw."

"That was true on the Peninsula, too, and the duke never lost a battle." Michael smiled a little. "I'm about to become a handful of straw myself. I'm being breveted to lieutenant colonel and given a regiment of green troops with orders to make of them what I can."

"It's a better use of your abilities than being a staff galloper. What's the regiment?"

"A provisional outfit called the 105th. It's made up of a handful of experienced British regulars who are being thrown in to season a mix of green soldiers and half-trained militiamen. The duke hopes the veterans will provide enough starch to make the whole regiment effective."

"You'll have your work cut out for you."

"I don't have to teach them anything difficult, like skirmishing or scouting. All they'll have to do is stand in one place and shoot their muskets, preferably not at each other."

"While cannonballs are tearing off the heads of their comrades, imperial guards are marching toward them to the beat of the death drums, and dragoons are charging on huge, iron-hooved horses. What could be simpler?" Kenneth said ironically.

"Exactly. Nothing at all complicated about the business."

Compared to restraining himself around Catherine, turning raw recruits into soldiers would be dead easy.

After dressing with extra care, Catherine went downstairs to go to the musicale. Michael was waiting for her in the foyer. The dark green Rifleman uniform fitted like a glove, and she'd never seen another man who looked so good in it. Trying not to stare, she said, "I'm looking forward to this evening. Except for events given by the duke, I've hardly been out in weeks."

"It's my pleasure." He offered his arm, and a smile that started deep in his eyes. "You look very fine tonight."

She took his arm and they went out to the carriage. Michael's long legs brushed hers as he folded himself into the cramped space. A slow burn of attraction began humming through her veins. This time she recognized it immediately. Familiarity made it less disquieting than the night in the kitchen. In fact, she found it possible to enjoy the sensuality since she knew her companion would not drop a hand on her thigh or try to force a kiss on her. Her desire was simply like a craving to eat fresh strawberries-real, but not dangerously powerful.

Lady Trowbridge's town house was not large, and the receiving line was in the same salon where guests were talking and laughing before the music program. The high-ceilinged chamber shimmered with candles, flamboyantly costumed officers from half a dozen nations, and almost equally colorful ladies.

"A brilliant scene," Michael remarked. "Brussels has gone mad for all things military."

"Once peace returns, the army will go out of fashion again," Catherine said tartly. "There is nothing like danger to make everyone love a soldier."

He gave her a glance of rueful understanding. "Yet when Napoleon is defeated, officers will be retired on half pay and common soldiers will be thrown back into civilian life with little to show for their service except scars."

"Until the next war." Catherine studied the crowded salon more closely. "Perhaps it's my imagination, but the atmosphere seems strange tonight-a hectic kind of gaiety."

"It's like this throughout fashionable Brussels, and the fever mounts with every day," Michael said quietly. "People are waltzing on the lip of the volcano. As in war, the possibility of danger heightens the intensity of living."

"But the danger is an illusion," Catherine said, her voice edged. "If Napoleon were to approach Brussels, most of these glittering people will fly back to their safe homes in Britain. They won't stay to face the guns, or nurse the wounded, or search the battlefield for the bodies of their loved ones."

"No," Michael said, his voice quieter yet. "Few people have the courage of you and the other women who follow the drum. You belong to an elite sisterhood, Catherine."

She looked down at her gloved hands. "I'm proud of that, I suppose. Yet it's an honor I won't mind forgoing."

Their turn had come to greet the hostess. Lady Trowbridge exclaimed, "How lovely to see you, Catherine. Your admirers will be in ecstasy. How do you manage to look so beautiful?" She gave Michael a droll glance. "Catherine is the only diamond of the first water I know who is genuinely liked by women as well as adored by men."

"Please, Helen, spare my blushes," Catherine begged. "I am not such a paragon as all that."

Lady Trowbridge rolled her eyes. "And modest as well! If I was not so fond of you, Catherine, I swear I would hate you. Be off, now. I shall see you later."

Cheeks flushed, Catherine took Michael's arm and moved on. "Helen does rather exaggerate."

"She seems to have spoken the truth," Michael said as several guests of both sexes started to move eagerly toward them. "It doesn't look as if I'll be needed until it's time to go home. Do you mind if I leave you?"

"I'll be fine," she assured him. "Enjoy yourself."

He inclined his head, then moved away. She sent a wistful glance after him. She wouldn't mind more of his company, but it was wise of him not to hover over her. That might have caused talk, even about "Saint Catherine." Society loved clay feet.

Several of her officer friends arrived and swept her into a lively conversation. Soon she was enjoying herself thoroughly. Perhaps it was foolish not to come to functions like this alone, but when she had tried that, she had felt pathetic.

A few minutes later, Lady Trowbridge approached with a man on her arm. "Catherine, do you know Lord Haldoran? He has just arrived from London. Lord Haldoran, Mrs. Melbourne."

Haldoran was a handsome man of about forty with the powerful build of a sportsman. As Helen turned away,

Catherine offered her hand. "Welcome to Brussels, Lord Haldoran."

"Mrs. Melbourne." He bowed over her hand with practiced grace, and with an equally practiced meaningful squeeze.

Knowing from experience that she must make her position clear immediately, she removed her hand and gave him her best frosty look. As he straightened, she saw that her message had been received and understood. For a moment, she thought that he was going to make a heavy-handed compliment. Instead, his languid expression changed to a stare that bordered on rudeness.

Catherine said sweetly, "Is it so obvious that my gown has been remade several times?"

He collected himself. "Forgive me, Mrs. Melbourne. A woman of your beauty could wear sackcloth and no man would notice. I was merely startled by your eyes. They are so unusual-neither blue nor green, and as transparent as gemstones."

"I've heard that before, but since my parents' eyes were the same, I think of mine as nothing out of the common way."

Something flickered across his face before he said gallantly, "Nothing about you could be common."

"Nonsense," she said coolly. "I am merely an officer's wife who has followed the drum, learned to keep household when pay is months in arrears, and taught my daughter how to recognize the best chicken in a Spanish market."

He smiled. "Fortunate husband, and fortunate daughter. Do you have other children?"

"Only Amy." Preferring less personal conversation, she asked, "Are you in Brussels in the hopes of excitement, my lord?"

"Naturally. War is the ultimate sport, don't you agree? As a lad I considered asking my father to buy me a commission in the 10th Hussars. The uniforms were very dashing and the hunting was excellent." He inhaled a pinch of snuff from an enameled box. "However, I changed my mind when the regiment was transferred from Brighton to Manchester. It is one thing to risk one's life for one's country, and quite another to be exiled to Lancashire."

The flippant remark was in keeping for someone who had wanted to join the 10th Hussars, the most fashionable and expensive of cavalry regiments. Yet in spite of his banter, Haldoran was studying Catherine with disturbing intensity.

"A pity you didn't join when the regiment was sent to the Peninsula," she said dryly. "I'm sure you would have found it grand sport to pursue creatures that could shoot back. So much more exciting than foxes."

He laughed. "You're right. Hunting Frenchmen would have suited me right down to the ground."

It was true that hunting had been a popular pastime in the Peninsula. Catherine knew for a fact that once Wellington had been conferring on horseback with a Spanish general when a pack of hounds went by after a hare. The duke had instantly turned and joined the pursuit. After the kill, he had returned to the amazed Spaniard and resumed speaking as if nothing had happened.

Wellington, however, had earned his right to recreation. Lord Haldoran appeared to be the sort who had done nothing useful in his life, and done it very expensively.

Across the room, Lady Trowbridge announced that the concert was about to begin in the opposite salon. Haldoran said, "Shall we find a seat together, Mrs. Melbourne?"

"Thank you, but I've already arranged to sit with friends." She gave a wide, false smile. "It was a pleasure to meet you."

He bowed. "I'm sure we shall meet again."

Perhaps, but as she slipped into the crowd, she knew that she would not be sorry if that failed to happen.

Chapter 7

The spring weather was exceptionally fair, which added to the air of holiday that hung over Brussels. Catherine, however, liked the weather for more maternal reasons: it allowed the children to play outside. She was sitting under the chestnut tree in the back garden, mending and keeping an eye on her daughter and the young Mowbrys late one afternoon, when Michael Kenyon rode into the driveway. He was home early.

Catherine watched as he dismounted and led his horse into the stable. He moved beautifully, without a single wasted motion. She felt one of the odd lurches of the heart that occurred whenever he appeared.

In the past weeks, he had been her escort a dozen times. At balls, he would always claim a lively country dance- never a waltz-then keep out of her way until it was time to leave. Yet on the occasion when a drunken ensign had cornered her in an alcove and attempted to declare his love, Michael had appeared and removed the youth as firmly as an older brother would have.

A pity that her feelings weren't quite sisterly.

Michael came out of the stable and hesitated, then turned into the garden and walked toward her, his shako in his hand. The sun found glowing auburn highlights in his tangled brown hair. "Good afternoon, Catherine."

"Hello." She reached into her basket and pulled out a torn petticoat of Amy's. "You look tired."

"Commanding a raw new regiment is worse than digging ditches." He nodded toward the energetic game of hide and seek. "I heard the children and thought it would be pleasant to watch someone else do the running for a while."

In the distance, Amy emerged stealthily from behind one rhododendron and slipped behind another. "She does that well," Michael said approvingly. "It wouldn't take much to turn your daughter into a first-rate skirmisher."

"Don't tell her that! She's a dreadful tomboy-you should see her with a cricket ball. And she has had to be restrained from telling Wellington that women fought with the Spanish guerrillas, so why can't Englishwomen do the same?" Catherine began stitching a torn flounce. "How are your men shaping up?"

"I have grave doubts whether they know which end of a musket the ball comes out."

Catherine laughed. "Surely it's not that bad."

"I exaggerate, but only slightly. I've been trying to convince them that the most dangerous thing soldiers can do in battle is break and run, so they're better off holding their ground. If they learn that, they may be of some use. Thank God for my sergeants. If it weren't for them, I would give up now."

"I see you're still wearing your Rifleman uniform instead of infantry scarlet."

"The official reason is that I haven't had time to visit a tailor." His eyes gleamed with humor. "But that's only an excuse. The truth is I don't want to give up my Rifle green."

"A good thing the duke doesn't care an iota what his men wear. I swear, I've never seen two officers who were dressed exactly alike." She smiled reminiscently. "Remember how ragtag everyone looked after a few months on the Peninsula? One could tell a new man because his uniform could still be identified."

Suddenly Jamie Mowbry exploded from the bushes and pointed a branch at Michael. "Bang, bang!"

Because she was watching Michael, Catherine saw the instinctive response that in battle would have resulted in lethal action. It vanished as quickly as it had come and Michael collapsed dramatically on the grass. "I'm done for, lads. Take care of my horse Thor." He kicked a few times and lay still.

Jamie charged over, Clancy at his heels and his branch triumphantly aloft. "I got you, I got you, you filthy frog!"

As soon as the boy was within reach, Michael grabbed him and began tickling his ribs. "Who's got whom? Never trust an enemy to be as dead as he looks, Jamie."

Flushed and shrieking with delight, the boy rolled around in the grass with his former prey. Catherine watched in amusement, surprised at how easily Michael had entered the child's world.

The wrestling match ended when Amy raced up. "Hello, Colonel Kenyon." She tagged Jamie. "You're it now!" She dashed off with Jamie and Clancy at her heels.

Michael stayed sprawled on the grass. "Lord, it feels good to lie down in the sun and not have to do anything for the next hour." He closed his eyes and unbuttoned his jacket.

Catherine said, "The weather has been lovely, hasn't it? But I keep thinking that it is like the calm before the storm."

"And black clouds are gathering just over the horizon."

Michael's remark reduced them both to silence. For all they knew, Napoleon was already marching north to reclaim his empire.

Louis the Lazy, who had been snoozing by Catherine, hauled himself onto his stubby legs and went to flop beside Michael. "I'm jealous," she said teasingly. "Louis is only willing to be my friend when you're not around."

"Nonsense," Michael said without opening his eyes. "The contrary beast is trying to ruin my reputation. Since dogs and their owners are said to resemble each other, it will be assumed that I am as lazy and useless as he is. Tell him to go away."

His order was undercut by the way he ruffled the dog's ears. Louis moaned with pleasure and rolled onto his back, holding his broad paws in the air.

She laughed. "If that is how you command your troops, Colonel, the 105th is in trouble."

Out of sight at the end of the garden, Molly squealed and Jamie shouted, "Got you!"

Michael's eyes opened. "Jamie looked rather pale. Has he been ill?"

"He suffers from asthma sometimes," Catherine replied. "Anne says the attacks are terrifying. He had a bad one yesterday. Apparently spring is the worst time for him."

"I had occasional asthma attacks as a child, but in time I pretty much outgrew them. No doubt Jamie will, too."

She studied his rugged frame. "I'll tell Anne that. It will make her feel better to know that an asthmatic boy can grow up into a strapping fellow like you. What causes the attacks?"

"I don't know if anyone is sure," he said slowly, "but I think it's usually a combination of things-dampness, food or plants that don't agree with one." He laid his arm across his eyes, blocking the sun and concealing his expression. "I believe there's an emotional component as well."

"Do you mean getting too excited? Jamie is high-strung."

"That, or being frightened or distressed. Painful emotions can sometimes trigger an attack in a matter of moments."

"I see." She would have liked to know more, but his tone forbade questions.

He continued, "How is Anne feeling these days?"

"Much better. She's napping at the moment, but she says she's almost at the stage of pregnancy where she will go from exhaustion to boundless energy. In another week, she'll be eager to be dancing again." Catherine knotted and cut her thread. With Anne as a companion, she would no longer need Michael's escort. She would miss spending time with him. She would miss it a great deal. "Then you won't have to squire me around."

"Escorting you has been a pleasure, not a burden. When Charles isn't available, I can take you both. I'll be the envy of every man in Brussels."

He covered a yawn and lapsed into silence. In spite of the noise of the children and the wagons rumbling along the road that ran through the Namur Gate, he dozed off, his breath becoming slow and steady. There was a precious intimacy to the situation.

Catherine, continued sewing. She was very good at concealing her feelings, and not even the most suspicious observer would suspect the quiet joy in her heart. Michael's presence fed a part of her soul that had been starving for years.

Perhaps she should feel guilty about her improper feelings, but she didn't. No one would be hurt, and soon then-paths would diverge, probably forever. But when that happened, she would have the memory of a few golden hours to carry in her heart.

She finished Amy's petticoat and folded it into her basket, then began darning Colin's socks. When she had done two, she allowed herself to study Michael's tanned right hand, which lay relaxed in the grass only two feet from her.

The fingers were long and capable. A thin, long-healed saber scar curved across his palm and up the wrist.

She experienced a nearly overpowering urge to lay her hand over his? To touch him, if only in the most superficial way. To feel the vivid life pulsing through his powerful body. What would it be like to lie alongside him, to feel his warm length against her?

Face heated, she readied for another sock. She hoped that when she met Saint Peter, her life would be judged by her deeds, not her thoughts.

After she finished her mending, she packed her scissors and thread away and leaned back against the trunk of the chestnut, watching Michael from under half-closed lids.

Peace was shattered by piercing screams from the children and an anguished howl from Clancy. Catherine sat bolt upright, recognizing that it was not the sound of normal play. Simultaneously, Michael's eyes snapped open.

Amy shouted, "Mama, come quickly!"

Michael leaped up and grabbed her hand to help her. As soon as she was on her feet, they raced across the garden, her heart pounding with fear at what they might find.

The children were by the stone fountain, where a dancing porpoise gushed water into a small pool. Catherine's heart spasmed as she saw the blood splashed across both girls. Blood was pouring.from a gash in Molly's scalp. Amy had taken off her sash and was valiantly trying to staunch the flow.

Jamie stood a few feet away, his face ashen under his red hair as he watched his sister's wild sobbing. Clancy jumped around anxiously,getting in the way-and adding to the confusion with his sharp yips.

Catherine dropped beside Molly and took over the job of trying to stop the bleeding. "Amy, what happened?"

"Jamie shoved Molly and she fell against the fountain."

"I didn't mean to!" Jamie gasped. His quick, shallow breaths began whistling eerily. Michael, who had "been calming the nervous dog, looked up sharply at the sound.

Catherine ordered, "Amy, go get Anne:" As Amy ran to obey, Molly asked with ghoulish curiosity, "Am I going to die?"

"Of course not," Catherine said briskly. "Head wounds bleed dreadfully, but this one isn't deep. You'll be fine in a few days. Any scar will be hidden by your hair."

"I didn't mean it!" Jamie cried with anguish. Suddenly he bolted away, his limbs flailing frantically.

Catherine's instinct was to follow, but she couldn't, not with Molly still bleeding in her arms. She gave Michael an agonized glance. To her relief, he was already going after the weeping child, but he was slowed by the necessity of untangling himself from Clancy and having to circle the fountain.

Jamie tripped and went sprawling on the turf. The walled garden echoed with the sound of his hideous wheezing.

Shocked out of thoughts of her own injury, Molly tried to stand up. "Jamie is having one of his attacks!"

Catherine held the little girl still. "Don't worry, Colonel Kenyon will take care of your brother." She prayed that her words were the truth, for she herself did not know what to do.

Before Michael could reach Jamie, the child regained enough breath to scramble to his feet. He began running again, his eyes wild with terror as he plunged through a thicket where an adult couldn't follow. He emerged on the other side and collapsed, struggling desperately for air. Even fifty yards away, Catherine could see that his face was a horrible bluish shade.

Jamie was feebly trying to clamber to his feet when Michael rounded the thicket and scooped the boy up in his arms. "It's all right, Jamie," he said soothingly. "Molly isn't badly hurt"

Though Michael's expression was grim, his voice was calm as he brought the child back to the fountain. "It was an accident. We know you didn't mean to injure your sister."

Supporting Jamie in a sitting position, Michael pulled out his handkerchief and soaked it in the fountain. Then he patted the child's contorted face with cool water, all the while keeping up a stream of reassuring words. "You can breathe, Jamie, you've just forgotten how for a minute," he said softly. "Look in my eyes and remember how to breathe. S-1-o-w-l-y in. Relax. Then s-1-o-w-l-y out. Spell the words with me. B-r-e-a-t-h-e, space, i-n… Come on, you can do it."

Catherine watched, mesmerized, as Jamie's lips began silently forming the letters along with Michael. Gradually his breathing evened out and color began to return to his face.

By the time Anne ran from the house with Amy, Catherine had a crude bandage on Molly's head and Jamie was almost back to normal. Anne's face was so pale that faint, ghostly freckles showed on her cheekbones as she said, "Goodness, you two certainly get into a quantity of trouble."

She knelt between her children and pulled them to her. Jamie burrowed against her side and wrapped his arms around her waist. Molly also snuggled as close as she could get.

In the sudden silence, hoofbeats sounded clearly. A moment later, Charles Mowbry called from outside the stable, "Trouble?"

"A little," Anne replied, relief on her face. "Molly cut her head and Jamie had an attack, but everything is fine now."

As Catherine got to her feet, she saw Charles and Colin coming toward them, their scarlet coats brilliant against the grass. They had had a regimental drill today, she recalled.

Charles arrived first, his expression under, control, except for his stark eyes. When he reached his family, he bent and lifted Jamie, hugging him tightly. "You all right, old man?"

"I couldn't breathe, but Colonel Kenyon reminded me how," his son offered. "Then it was easy."

"That was good of him," Charles said huskily. "Will you remember how to do it yourself next time?"

Jamie nodded vigorously.

Anne and Molly got to their feet. Charles smoothed his daughter's hair, careful not to disturb the blood-soaked bandage. "I know you don't like this dress, but wouldn't it be better to get rid of it by ripping rather than bleeding?"

A smile lit her teary face. "Oh, Papa, you're so silly."

Concealing a smile, Catherine wondered what the men in Charles's company would think if they heard that.

"Time to get you two inside and cleaned up." Anne gave Catherine and Michael a heartfelt glance. "Thank you both for being here."

As the Mowbrys headed to the house, Catherine put an arm around her daughter's shoulders. "Amy was splendid, Colin. She tended to Molly's injury, then went to get Anne."

"You're like me and your mother," he said approvingly.

"A good soldier and a good nurse." He glanced at Catherine. "Can I take Amy for an ice as a reward for bravery?"

It was really too close to dinner, but Amy had earned a treat, and she had seen little of her father lately. "Fine, but Amy, change your dress first. Have a maid put it in a bucket of cold water so the blood doesn't set."

Amy nodded and bounced off with her father.

Alone with Michael, Catherine sank onto the rim of the fountain and buried her face in her hands for a moment. "Please excuse me while I have hysterics."

"I'll join you." Wearily he settled onto the fountain beside her. "It's always worst when the crisis is over, isn't it?"

"I turn into quivering aspic every time." She tried to laugh. "Family life requires nerves of steel."

"Your husband was right, though. Amy behaved splendidly."

"Isn't she amazing? I used to wonder if it was wrong to take her to the Peninsula, but she thrived on it." Catherine smiled wryly. "She's like her father that way. I'm more of a cowardly homebody myself."

"You may think so," he said, warm affection in his voice, "but if I ever need nursing, I hope you're available."

She glanced away before her eyes could reveal too much. "And you're a good man to have around during domestic disasters, of which we have had mote than our share lately. Fire, blood, asthma. Anne was right that the attacks are terrifying."..

"They feel even worse, like iron bands around the lungs. The harder you try to breathe, the less air you take in. The worst part is the panic, which can destroy every shred of sanity and control you have. I remember doing exactly what Jamie, did-running till I dropped, then getting up and running again as soon as I could stagger to my feet." He grimaced. "How do Anne and Charles stand it? It must be ghastly to see your child struggling to breathe."

"They do it because they have to, just as your parents did."

"They were cut from different cloth," he said dryly. "In fact, most of my attacks were triggered by my father. When I had one in my mother's presence, she left me to the care of the nearest maid. The sight was too distressing for one of her delicate constitution." The planes of his face hardened. "If I hadn't been shipped off to Eton, I probably wouldn't have made it to my tenth birthday."

Catherine winced. "I see why you never mention your family."

"There isn't much to say." He trailed his fingers through the fountain, then flicked a few drops of water at Louis, who was snoozing at his feet again. "If my father had to choose between being God and being Duke of Ashburton, he would ask what the difference is. My mother died when I was thirteen. She and my father despised each other. Amazing that they produced three children, but I suppose they felt obliged to keep going until they had an heir and a spare. My sister, Claudia, is five years older than I. We scarcely know each other and prefer it that way. My brother Stephen is Marquess of Benfield and heir to the noble Ashburton title and extravagant Kenyon wealth. We know each other a little, which is rather more than either of us wants to."

His expressionless words sent a shiver up her spine. She remembered what he had said about how he and his Fallen Angel friends had become a family because they had all needed one. With sudden passion, she wished she had the right to take him in her arms and make up for everything he had been denied.

Instead, she said, "I've always regretted not having a brother or sister. Perhaps I was lucky."

"If you like, you can borrow Claudia and Benfield. I guarantee that within two days you'll be thanking your lucky stars for being an only child."

"How did you survive?" she asked quietly.

"Sheer stubbornness."

She rested her hand on his for a moment, trying to wordlessly convey her sympathy, and her admiration for the strength that had enabled him to endure. Instead of bitterness, he had learned compassion.

He laid his other hand over hers, enfolding her fingers. They did not look at each other.

She was acutely aware of the long length of his leg only inches, away from hers. It would be so natural to lean forward and press her lips to his cheek. He would turn and his mouth would meet hers…

With horror, she recognized how close she had come to the fire. She lifted her hand away, knotting her fingers into a fist to prevent herself from caressing him. Her voice was distant in her own ears when she asked, "When did you outgrow the asthma?"

There was a brittle pause before he said, "I don't know if one ever really does completely-I've, had several mild attacks as, an adult-but there were very few after the age of thirteen." His face tightened. "The worst one took place at Eton. That time I knew-absolutely knew-I was going to die."

"What triggered it?"

"A letter from my father." Michael rubbed his temple, as if he could erase the memory. "It informed me that my mother had died suddenly. There was a strong implication of… good riddance." He closed his eyes and took several deep, slow breaths. "The attack began' immediately and I collapsed, wheezing like a blown plow horse. There's something particularly horrible about dying fully conscious but helpless, unable to move. Luckily my friend Nicholas's room was next door and he heard me. He came and talked me through it, as I did with Jamie. The trick is to break through the victim's panic and get him to concentrate on breathing successfully."

Surprised, she said, "Your friend must be about your age. Did he know what to do because he had asthma also?"

Michael smiled a little. "There has always been something a little magical about Nicholas. He's half Gypsy and knowledgeable in their traditional ways of healing.- He taught us all how to whisper horses and tickle fish from a stream."

Glad to see his expression ease, she said, "It sounds as if he has been a good friend to you."

The words must have been a mistake, for Michael's clasped hands went rigid, the tendons showing in the wrists. "He has. Better than I have been to him." He shook his head. "Lord, why am I telling you all this?"

She hoped it was because she was special to him. "Because you know I care, and that I will honor your confidence."

"Perhaps that is the reason." Not looking at her, he said quietly, "I'm glad to have met you, Catherine. When I think of Brussels in the future, I might forget the balls and the rumors and the frantic gaiety, but I will always remember you."

The air between them seemed to thicken, becoming so palpable she feared he must be able to feel the beating of her heart. Haltingly she said, "Your friendship means a great deal to me, too."

"Friendship and honor are perhaps the two most important things in life." He bent and picked a daisy from the grass. "Friendship so that we are not alone. Honor because what else does a man have left at the end of the day except his honor?"

"What of love?" she asked softly.

"Romantic love?" He shrugged. "I haven't the experience to comment."

"You've never fallen in love?" she said skeptically.

His voice lightened. "Well, when I was nine, my friend Lucien's sister proposed to me and I accepted with enthusiasm. Elinor was a quicksilver angel."

Seeing the warmth in his eyes, she said, "Don't discount your feelings simply because you were young. Children can love with a kind of innocent purity that no adult can match."

"Perhaps." He rolled the daisy between thumb and forefinger. "And because Elinor died two years later, the love between us was never tested."

Nor had it had a chance to fade away naturally. Somewhere inside Michael, she suspected, there must still be the dream of finding a quicksilver angel. "If you loved like that once, you can again."

His hand clenched spasmodically on the daisy, crushing it. There was a long silence before he said in a barely audible voice, "I once loved-or was obsessed by-a married woman. The affair destroyed friendship and honor both. I swore I would never do that again. Friendship is safer."

For a man like Michael, failing to meet his own code of honor would have been devastating. Such a catastrophic mistake also explained why he had never said or done anything improper with her. Now she knew that he never would.

"Honor is not the exclusive province of men," she said quietly. "A woman can have honor, too. Vows must be kept, responsibilities must be met." She got to her feet and looked down into his fathomless green eyes. "It is fortunate that honor and friendship can coincide."

They looked at each other for a suspended moment as everything and nothing was said. Then she turned and walked toward the house, her steps steady so that no one would guess that her eyes were blurred with tears.

Michael sat in the garden for a long time, his eyes unfocused, his breathing slow and deliberate. Sometimes it was convenient to have to pay close attention to the air moving in and out of his lungs, because the effort kept pain at bay, at least for a little while.

It was easy to be obsessed by Catherine. Not only was she beautiful, but she was truly admirable. His mother, sister, and Caroline combined could not have equaled a fraction of her warmth or her integrity. She was perfect in every way, except that she was unattainable. Married beyond redemption.

Yet there was something real between them. Not love, but an acknowledgment that under other circumstances matters might have been very different.

He wondered if there had been a different path he might have chosen when he was younger, one that would have led him to Catherine on the terrible day when she was orphaned. Like Colin, he would have been quick to offer his protection. Unlike Colin, he never would have turned from his wife to other women.

Such speculations were nonsense. He had never seen a path except the one he had taken, which had led him to a warped love that had stained his soul. He got to his feet, feeling as drained as if he'd just fought a battle. Yet under the pain, he was proud that he and Catherine had forged something pure and honorable from what could have been sordid and wrong.

Of course, her husband was a soldier on the brink of war…

He shied away from the thought, appalled that it had even crossed his mind. It would be obscene to hope for the death of a fellow officer. It was also ridiculous to try to look beyond the next few weeks. When battle came, he was as likely to be killed as Melbourne. There were no certainties in life, love, or war.

Except the fact that whether the rest of his life was measured in days or decades, he would never stop wanting Catherine.

Chapter 8

Catherine was dressing for dinner the next evening when Colin entered the bedroom. Instead of ringing for her maid, she asked, "Could you fasten the back of my gown?"

"Of course." His fingers were deft and passionless. She was struck by the sheer strangeness of the way they inhabited the same house, the same marriage, yet never touched emotionally. Their relationship was woven of law, courtesy, convenience, and habit. They almost never fought, because each of them knew exactly how much-and how little-to expect of the other.

After Catherine's gown was secured, Colin moved away and began changing his own clothing. He looked uncomfortable in a way that she recognized. She asked, "Is something wrong?"

He shrugged. "Not really. But… well, I lost a hundred quid at whist last night."

"Oh, Colin." She sank down into a chair. There was never enough money, and a hundred pounds was an enormous sum.

"Don't look at me like that," he said defensively. "I actually did rather well. I was down three hundred before I won most of it back."

She swallowed, trying not to think what they would have done if he had lost so much. "I suppose I should be grateful, but even a hundred pounds will cause problems."

"You'll manage. You always do," he said carelessly. "It was worth losing a little. I was playing with several officers of the Household Guards-men from families with influence."

"Influence may be useful for the future, but we must pay our share of the household expenses now."

"Ask your friend Lord Michael for more-everyone knows the Kenyons are as rich as nabobs." Colin removed his stock and tossed it onto the bed. "The way he's been squiring you around, he obviously fancies you. Has he tried to bed you yet?"

"Nonsense," she snapped. "Are you suggesting that I have behaved improperly?"

"Of course not," he said with bitter amusement. "Who would know that better than I?"

There was sudden, sharp tension as the room pulsed with all of the issues that divided them. Realizing she had overreacted to Colin's casual remark, Catherine said evenly, "Michael is pleasant, but he has escorted me from courtesy, not because he's trying to bed me." And if her words were not quite the whole truth, they were close enough.

Accepting her statement at face value, Colin said, "See if you can turn him up sweet in whatever time is left in this billet. I've been doing some thinking about the future."

Her brows drew together. "What do you mean?"

"After Boney is defeated, the government will cut the army to a fraction of its present size. There's a good chance I'll be retired on half pay. It's time to start looking for another occupation, preferably a nice government post that pays well and leaves plenty of time for hunting." He pulled on a fresh shirt. "Getting such a position will require influence. Luckily, Brussels is teeming with aristocrats this spring. When you're hobnobbing with 'em, be extra charming to anyone who might be helpful when the time comes."

"Very well." The idea did not enthrall her, but since their future would depend on Colin finding a decent post, she must do her part. "Are you going to be dining here?"

"No, I'm meeting friends."

She sighed. "Try not to lose any more money. I can make a shilling stretch until it squeaks, but I'm not a miracle worker."

"There won't be any gaming tonight."

Which meant he would be with one of his women. She wished him a pleasant evening and went downstairs. It was early and Kenneth was the only person in the salon. He was gazing out the window, his shoulders as broad as those of a blacksmith.

"Good evening, Kenneth," she said lightly. "You've been as busy as Michael. I'm beginning to think the infantry works harder than the cavalry."

He turned to her. "Of course-everyone knows that."

She smiled. "You're as bad as my father. He was in the infantry, you know."

Kenneth looked horrified. "The devil you say! How come a nice lass like you married a dragoon?"

"The usual reasons." She poured two glasses of sherry and joined him at the window. The sun was hidden behind the trees, but it gilded the clouds with ocher and crimson and turned Brussels' graceful church spires to dramatic silhouettes. "A lovely sky. At times like this, I wish I could paint."

He sipped his sherry. "So do I."

"You don't? I assumed you must, since you draw so well."

He shrugged. "Drawing is a mere knack. Painting is quite another matter, one I know nothing about."

She glanced at his stern profile. Something in his tone suggested that he regretted that, but an army on campaign would have presented few opportunities to learn, particularly in the years before he received a commission.

Outside, the colors were fading and indigo clouds were gathering on the horizon. How quickly the night was falling. "It's not going to be much longer, is it?" she said softly.

He knew exactly what she meant. "I'm afraid not. The emperor has sealed France's northern borders. There's not a stagecoach, fishing boat, or document getting across- except for the false information Napoleon's agents are merrily spreading, of course. They say the authorities don't expect the campaign to begin before July, but I think war could come at any time."

"I have this sense that… that we're all living in a glass bubble that's about to shatter," she said intensely. "Everything seems larger than life. These last two months feel like a special time that won't come again."

"All times are special, and none ever comes again," he said quietly.

Yet it was human to try to hold back the night. On impulse, she asked, "Could you do a favor for me?"

"Of course. What would you like?"

"Could you do drawings of everyone in the household? Anne and Charles, Colin, the children. The dogs. You. Michael." Most of all, Michael. Seeing Kenneth's quizzical glance, she added quickly, "I'd pay you, of course."

His brows rose. "Really, Catherine, you know better than that."

She stared into her sherry glass. "I'm sorry. I suppose that sounded rather insulting, as if you were a tradesman."

The lines around his eyes crinkled. "Actually, it was a compliment-it would be my first professional drawing commission, except that I can't accept it."

"Of course not. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

He cut off her apology with a quick gesture. "I didn't say I wouldn't make the sketches. In fact, I already have a number that would do, but you must take them as a gift."

When she tried to thank him, he said, "No thanks are necessary. You and Anne have the gift of taking an assortment of misfit pieces and creating a home from them." He gazed out at the nearly dark sky. "It's been a long time since I've had a home. A very long time."

His wistfulness made her lay her hand over his, a gesture that was as easy with him as it was complicated with Michael. "When you do the sketches, don't forget the self-portrait."

"If I try to do one, the paper might spontaneously disintegrate," he said dryly.

"As Molly would say, you're so silly."

They both laughed. Removing her hand, she went on, "Are you going to the Duchess of Richmond's ball next week? It's supposed to be the grandest entertainment of the spring."

He gave an elaborate shudder. "No, thank heaven, I'm not important enough to rate an invitation. I'll be at the duke's ball on the twenty-first, though. Since he's commemorating the Battle of Vitoria, he'll expect his officers to be there."

She smiled teasingly. "I shall expect a dance with you."

"Absolutely not. I am quite willing to give you my drawings or my life, but dancing is quite another matter."

They laughed again. Turning from the window, she saw Michael standing in the doorway. When he saw her looking at him, he entered the room, his expression impenetrable. She ached to go to him and take his hands. Instead, she put on her Saint Catherine face and went to pour another sherry.

It was easier to be a saint than a woman.

That evening Kenneth went through his drawings, selecting ones he thought Catherine would like. He was surprised at how many he had done. Only one or two more would be needed. He set aside several for Anne as well. There was one of the Mowbry family together in the garden that was really quite good.

Idly he took his pencil and began sketching the lovers Tristram and Iseult. Tristram, the mighty warrior, and Iseult, the healer princess who was wed to Tristram's uncle. It had ended tragically, of course; it wouldn't be much of a legend if they'd settled into a cottage and she'd had nine children and he'd turned into a red-faced hunting squire.

He did not realize what he was doing until the picture was done. Then he saw that the tormented warrior wore Michael's face, and the dark-haired princess in his arms had the haunted sweetness of Catherine Melbourne.

He gave a soft whistle. So that was how the wind was blowing. It wasn't the first time his drawings had revealed something he had not consciously recognized. Damnation, hadn't Michael suffered enough? Or Catherine, for that matter, paying endlessly for the foolish marriage made when she was sixteen.

Having learned to his bitter cost that happiness was fleeting, he would throw morality to the winds and seize what joy he could if he were in love. He would like to believe Michael and Catherine were doing exactly that, but they were both too damned noble. They were probably concealing their feelings from each other, perhaps even from themselves.

He tossed the drawing into the fireplace and held a candle to the edge until the paper flared. As he watched the picture crumble into ash, he hoped they would get their reward in heaven, for it wasn't likely to happen on earth.

The day before the Duchess of Richmond's ball, Michael and Kenneth attended a dinner to welcome several officers of the 95th who had just arrived from America. Inevitably, the conversation turned to Peninsular days. It was a good evening, but Michael said dryly as he and Kenneth rode home, "There is nothing like distance to make bad food, bad wine, and bad housing look romantic."

"The real romance is that we were young, and we survived." Kenneth chuckled. "Lord, remember the time we held the Rifles anniversary banquet on the bank of the Bidassoa?"

"Sitting with our legs in trenches and using the turf as both table and chair is not the sort of thing one forgets."

They turned into the Rue de la Reine, moving at a quiet walk. As he dismounted and opened the gate, Michael said slowly, "There's a bad storm coming in the next few days."

Kenneth looked at him sharply. "Literal or metaphorical?"

"Perhaps both." Michael unconsciously rubbed his left shoulder, which ached before major changes in the weather. "It's going to be an almighty thunderstorm. That may be all-but remember how often storms hit before battles on the Peninsula?"

Kenneth nodded. "Wellington weather. It was uncanny. Perhaps you should tell the duke."

Michael laughed. "He'd throw me out of his office. He's a man who deals in facts, not fancies."

"No doubt he's right-but I'll tell my batman to make sure my kit is ready to go in case we have to move out quickly."

"I intend to do the same."

They led their horses into the stable. A lamp was lit inside, and its light showed Colin Melbourne sprawled in a pile of hay, snoring heavily. His mount, still saddled and bridled, was standing nearby, looking bored. Kenneth knelt and examined the sleeping man. "Drunk as a lord," he reported.

"I beg your pardon?" Michael said icily.

Kenneth grinned. "Very well, he's as drunk as some lords. I've never seen you that far gone."

"No, and you never will."

"Give the man his due, though. He was able to stay in the saddle long enough to get home. A credit to the cavalry."

After bedding down his own horse, Michael did the same for Melbourne's mount. No sense in the beast suffering because its master had overindulged. When he finished, Kenneth hauled their drunken companion to his feet.

Colin came alive, asking Wearily, "Am I home yet?"

"Almost. All you have to do is walk to the house."

"The bloody infantry to the rescue. You fellows do have your uses." Colin took a step and almost pitched to the floor.

Kenneth grabbed him barely in time. "Give me a hand, Michael. It's going to take both of us to get him inside."

"We could leave him here," Michael suggested. "The night is mild, and the condition he's in, he won't mind."

"Catherine might worry if she's expecting him home tonight."

Since that was undoubtedly true, Michael pulled Melbourne's right arm over his shoulders. There was a heavy scent of perfume underlying the smell of port. The bastard had been with a woman.

He tried not to think of the fact that this drunken dolt was Catherine's husband. That he had the right to caress her, to possess her with his own promiscuous body…

Gritting his teeth, he took his share of Colin's substantial weight and supported the man through the stable doors. Revived slightly by the fresh air, Colin turned his head and blinked at Michael. "It's the aristocratic colonel. Much obliged to you."

"No need," Michael said tersely. "I'd do the same for anyone."

"No," Colin corrected him. "You're doing it for Catherine 'cause you're in love with her."

Michael went rigid.

"Everyone's in love with her," Colin said drunkenly. "The Honorable Sergeant Kenneth, the faithful Charles Mowbry, the damned duke himself dotes on her. Everyone loves her because she's perfect." He belched. "Do you know how hard it is to live with a woman who's perfect?"

Kenneth snapped, "That's enough, Melbourne!"

Relentlessly Colin continued, "I'll bet your noble lordship would like nothing better than to roll Catherine into the hay and make a cuckold of me."

Michael stopped in his tracks, his fists knotting with fury. "For Christ's sake, man, shut up! You insult your wife by suggesting such a thing."

"Oh, I know she wouldn't go," Colin assured him. "It's not for nothing they call her Saint Catherine. Know why the original Saint Catherine was made a saint? Because the silly bitch-"

Before he could finish the sentence, Kenneth pivoted and gave Colin a short, sharp punch to the jaw.

As the man's dead weight sagged between them, Kenneth said dryly, "I thought I had better do that before you murdered him."

Kenneth saw too damned much. Grimly Michael continued his part of the job of hauling Melbourne inside and up the stairs to his bedroom. When they got there, Kenneth rapped on the door.

A minute passed before Catherine opened it. Her dark hair was loose over her shoulders and she wore a hastily tied robe that revealed too much of the nightgown beneath it. She looked soft and slumberous and infinitely beddable. Michael dropped his gaze, blood throbbing in his temples.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Don't worry, Colin isn't hurt," Kenneth said reassuringly. "A bit drunk, and I think he bruised his chin falling in the stable, but nothing serious."

She stood back, holding the door open. "Bring him in and lay him on the bed, please."

As they carried Colin into the room, Michael saw her nostrils flare slightly as the scent of alcohol and perfume wafted toward her. In that moment, he realized that Kenneth had been right: Catherine knew about her husband's other women, but whatever his failings, she accepted them with dignity. Michael admired her even as he wanted to beat Colin to a bloody pulp.

They tilted Melbourne onto the bed and Kenneth pulled off his boots. "Can you manage the rest, Catherine?

"Oh, yes. This isn't the first time." She sighed, then said with forced good humor, "Luckily, it doesn't happen often. Thank you for bringing him up."

Her words were for both of them, but she did not look directly at Michael. Ever since that day in the garden, they had avoided meeting each other's gazes.

The men said good night, then left the room and walked silently toward the other wing. Privately Michael acknowledged that his fury had not been merely because Melbourne's comments had been crude, vulgar, and unbefitting a gentleman.

The really upsetting part was that everything the bastard had said was true.

Chapter 9

Early the next morning; Michael was finishing a quick breakfast when Colin entered the dining room. Since no one else was there, it was impossible to ignore the man.

"Colin headed straight for the coffeepot. "I have no memory of it, but my wife says that you and Wilding brought me in last night. Thank you."

Glad the other man didn't remember, Michael replied, "Your horse deserves most of the credit for getting you home."

"Caesar is the cleverest mount I've ever had." Colin poured a cup of steaming coffee with an unsteady hand. "My head feels as if it was hit by a spent cannonball, and I deserve every ache. At my age I should know better than to drink beer, brandy, and wine punch the same night."

His expression was sp ruefully amused that Michael could not help smiling back. He was struck by the uncomfortable realization that if Colin were not married to Catherine, Michael would like him well enough. At least, he would have been tolerant of the other man's failings. Trying to treat Colin as if Catherine didn't exist, he said pleasantly, "It sounds like a wicked combination. You're lucky to be moving this morning."

"No choice." Colin put sugar and milk in his coffee and took a deep swallow. "I have to get out to the regiment, then back here in time to take my wife to the Richmond ball."…

It was, after all, impossible to forget about Catherine. Michael said in a neutral voice, "She'll be glad you can attend."

Colin made a face. "I dislike such functions, but it's too important to miss."

"I'll see you there, then." Michael finished his own coffee and left the dining room. It was ironic that he wanted to despise Melbourne, yet for Catherine's sake he must hope that her husband was kind, decent, and reliable. Why did life have to be such a damned muddle of grays? Blacks and whites were easier.

Outside, he looked up at the fair morning sky and rubbed his left shoulder. The storm was drawing nearer.

The footman intoned, "Captain and Mrs. Melbourne. Captain and Mrs. Mowbry."

Catherine blinked as they stepped into the ballroom. The scene was dizzying, the light from the brilliant chandeliers reflecting from the richly colored draperies and rose-trellised wallpaper, then spilling through the open windows to the Rue de la Blanchisserie outside. Beside her, Anne murmured, "The air fairly burns with tension."

"By this time, everyone in Brussels has heard of the three different dispatch riders that came galloping into the duke's headquarters this afternoon," Catherine replied. "Obviously something is happening. The question is what, and where?"

The best guess was that Napoleon was invading Belgium. Even now, his army might be marching toward the capital. They would all know the truth soon enough. She glanced at her husband. He was strung as tightly as harp wire, almost quivering with anticipation of the action to come. He was never more alive than when in battle. Perhaps the pursuit and conquest of women was his way of capturing some of the same thrill in mundane life.

After arranging later dances with Colin and Charles, she set herself to enjoying the ball. God only knew if there would ever be another such occasion. Every important diplomat, officer, and aristocrat in Brussels was present, so there was no shortage of partners. Catherine even discovered Wellington's surgeon, Dr. Hume, lurking in a corner. Since he was an old friend from the Peninsula, she coaxed him onto the floor.

Expression martyred, Hume said, "I would do this only for you, Mrs. Melbourne, and only because you're such a fine nurse."

"Liar," she said affectionately. "You're enjoying yourself."

He laughed and agreed just before the figures of the dance separated them. When they came together again, he said, "Your friend Dr. Kinlock arrived in Brussels today."

"Ian's here? How splendid! But I thought he'd left the army after two years in the Peninsula."

Hume's eyes twinkled. "He went to Bart's Hospital in London, but he can't resist the prospect of a lovely assortment of wounds. Several other surgeons have come over with him."

Catherine had to smile. "I should have guessed. You surgeons are such ghouls."

"Aye, but useful ones." Hume's expression became sober. "We'll need every man who can wield a knife soon enough."

It was another reminder of war in a night that was saturated with a sense of impending doom. As the evening advanced, Catherine noticed officers from more distantly placed regiments quietly supping away. But the man she most wanted to see had not come. Even when she was dancing, she unobtrusively searched the room for Michael. He had planned to attend, but what if he had already left to join his men? She might never see him again.

Lord Haldoran, the sporting gentleman who had decided against the army rather than go to Manchester, came to claim her for a dance. She still found him disquieting, and not only because of the predatory expression she had sometimes seen in his eyes. However, he had made no improper advances and his anecdotes were amusing, so she gave him a polite smile. Fanning her heated face, she said, "It's dreadfully warm in here. Would you mind if we sat this one out?"

"I'd be glad to," Haldoran replied. "The servants are sprinkling water on the flowers to keep them from wilting. It's most unkind of the duchess not to do the same for her guests."

Catherine chuckled as she seated herself on a chair near an open window. "Wellington should be here soon."

"When the French may already be in Belgium?" Haldoran whisked two glasses of champagne from the tray of a passing footman and presented one to Catherine before sitting down beside her. "Surely the duke should be in the field, with his army."

"Not really. By coming here, he shows confidence and allays panic among the civilian population." She took a sip of the chilled, bubbly wine. "Also, with all of the top commanders at the ball, it will be easy for him to confer with them quietly."

"A good point." Haldoran's brows drew together. "The emperor is known for striking with great speed. If he advances on Brussels, are you and Mrs. Mowbry planning to withdraw to Antwerp?"

"My place is here. Besides, the question is moot. The duke will never permit Napoleon to reach the city."

"He may not have a choice," Haldoran said, his expression sober. "You are a brave woman, Mrs. Melbourne, but will you expose your daughter to the hazards of an occupying army?"

"The French are a civilized people," she said coolly. "They do not make war on children."

"No doubt you are right, but I would not like to see harm befall you and Mrs. Mowbry and your families."

"No more would I, Lord Haldoran." Catherine studied the tentlike draperies that fell in great swoops of gold and scarlet and black, and wished Haldoran would stop talking about her own secret fears. Though she didn't believe she was endangering her daughter, the uncertainty was enough to make any mother nervous.

The music ended and Charles Mowbry approached to lead her into the next dance. She rose. "Thank you for indulging my fatigue, Lord Haldoran. Until next time?"

He smiled and took her empty glass. "Until next time."

Charles was not only one of Catherine's dearest friends, but an excellent dancer. Their cotillion was a pleasure. They had just finished when the air was pierced by the skirl of bagpipes. "Good God, those devils in skirts are coming!" Charles exclaimed.

Catherine laughed with delight. "That sound always makes my blood stand up and salute." They turned to see soldiers from two Highland regiments marching into the ballroom, kilts swinging and feathered bonnets nodding to the wild song of the pipes.

In a stroke of entertaining genius, the Duchess of Richmond had engaged the Highlanders to dance. The guests drew back to the sides of the room as the Scots began whirling and stamping through their traditional reels, strathspeys, and one stunning sword dance. The contrast of elegance and primitive splendor was one Catherine would never forget.

Yet even in the eerie magic of the moment, her restless gaze never stopped seeking Michael.

Preparing his regiment to march kept Michael busy through a long day. It was late when he reached the Richmond ball. The room buzzed with excitement. An island of calm, Wellington was sitting on a sofa chatting amiably with one of his lady friends.

Michael stopped a friend, an officer of the Household Guards who was about to leave the ball. "What has happened?"

"The duke says the army will march in the morning," was the terse reply. "I'm on my way to my regiment now. Luck to you."

Time was running out. Perhaps it was self-indulgent to come to the ball, but Michael had wanted to see Catherine one last time. He halted by a flower-twined pillar and scanned the crowd.

She was not hard to find. Because her clothing budget and jewelry were modest, she dressed with relative simplicity, maintaining a stylish appearance by expertly changing the trimming of her few gowns. As a result, no one looked at Catherine Melbourne and remarked on the splendor of her costume or the sumptuousness of her ornaments. What they saw and remembered was her heart-stopping beauty.

Tonight she wore ice-white satin and lustrous pearls that set off her dark glossy hair and flawless complexion to perfection. In a room full of brilliantly colored uniforms, she stood out like an angel on loan from heaven.

Colin stood next to her, a proprietary hand on her elbow. It was obvious from his smug expression that he was aware of how other men envied him for possessing the most beautiful woman in a room full of beautiful women.

Face set, Michael began working his way through the crowded ballroom. After paying his respects to his hostess, he went to Catherine. Colin had moved away, but the Mowbrys had joined her.

Her eyes lit as he approached. "I'm glad you could come, Michael. I thought perhaps you had already been called away."

"I was delayed, but I would never miss such a splendid occasion." As-the music began, he said, "May I have this dance with you, Anne, and the one after with you, Catherine?"

Both women agreed, and Anne gave him her hand. There was strain in her eyes as he led her onto the floor, but years as an army wife had taught her control.

As they took their places for a reel, he said, "You look very fine in that gown, Anne. This isn't too tiring?" She smiled and shook her auburn curls. "I shall bubble with energy for another six or eight weeks, until I become the size and shape of a carriage."

They kept up an easy stream of talk as the pattern of the dance drew them together and apart. Yet as soon as he returned Anne to Charles, she forgot everything but her husband. Gazes locked, they moved together onto the floor. Michael uttered a silent prayer that Charles would survive the coming campaign; a love as strong and true as theirs deserved to last.

He turned to. Catherine and gave, her a formal bow. "I believe this is my dance, my lady?"

She smiled and swept a graceful curtsy. "It is, my lord."

He did not realize that he had claimed a waltz until the first bars of music were played. He had deliberately avoided the intimacy of waltzing at previous functions, but tonight it seemed right, for this would likely be their last dance. She came into his arms as if they, had waltzed a thousand times before. Together they flowed into the music, her eyes drifting half shut. She followed his lead as lightly as the angel he had thought her, yet he was intensely aware that she was a woman, a creature of the earth, not the heavens.

Dark tendrils of hair clung damply to her temples as they circled the floor without speaking. The pulse in her slim throat was beating rapidly from exertion. He wanted to press his lips to it. The delicate curve of ear showing below her upswept hair was an invitation to dalliance, and the tantalizing swells of her breasts would haunt his dreams for as long as he lived.

More than anything on earth, he wanted to sweep her into his arms and take her to the fairyland beyond the rainbow where they could be alone, and there would be no tormenting issues of war and honor. Instead, he had a bare handful of moments that were spilling away like cascading grains of sand.

Too soon, the music came to an end. As he let her go, her long lashes swept upward. Her expression was stark. "Is it time for you to go?" she said huskily.

"I'm afraid so." He looked away, fearing that his yearning must be showing. Across the room, Wellington caught his eye and gave a faint nod. Michael continued, "The duke wants to speak with me. By the time you return home, I will probably be gone."

She caught her breath. "Please-be careful."

"Don't worry-I'm cautious to a fault."

She tried to smile. "Who knows? This may all be a false alarm and everyone will be back in our billet by next week."

"Perhaps." He hesitated before adding, "But if my luck runs out, I have a favor to ask. In the top drawer of the dresser in my room, I've left letters to several of my closest friends. If I don't make it through the campaign, please post them for me."

She bit her lip. Tears were sparkling in her aqua eyes, making them seem even larger. "If… if the worst happens, do you want me to write to your family?"

"They will learn all they need to know from the casualty lists." He lifted her hand and kissed her gloved fingertips. "Good-bye, Catherine. God bless and keep you and your family."

"Vaya con Dios." Her fingers tightened convulsively. Then she released his hand a fraction of an inch at a time.

Wrenching his gaze from hers, he turned and crossed the ballroom. It was warming to know that she cared for him. The pleasure of that was not diminished by the knowledge that she also cared for Charles and Kenneth and other men. It was her capacity for caring that made her so special.

Wellington had abandoned his sofa to talk to his officers one at a time. To Michael, he said tersely, "Napoleon has humbugged me, by God. The French have captured Charleroi."

Jarred out of his reverie, Michael exclaimed, "Damnation! Charleroi isn't much more than thirty miles away."

"It could have been worse," the duke said with a wintry smile. "The road from Charleroi to Brussels was virtually undefended. If it hadn't been for damned good luck and a first-rate show put on by Prince Bernhard and his troops at Quatre-Bras, Marshal Ney could have marched straight into the city."

As Michael swore under his breath, Wellington said, "Tell me, Kenyon, will those green troops of yours stand?"

A fortnight before, Michael would not have known how to answer. Now he could say, "They may not be the fastest shots or the best at maneuvering, but put them in a line or square with veterans nearby and they will stand."

"I hope to God you're right. We're going to need every soldier we've got." The duke rapped out several orders, then turned his gimlet gaze on the crowd to collect another officer.

Before Michael left, his gaze sought out Catherine one last time. It was easy to find her with the ranks of guests thinning so rapidly. She was on the far side of the room with her husband, who was speaking excitedly. The Mowbrys joined them and both couples turned to leave.

His breath coming with great effort, Michael went out into the warm night. She was not for him, he reminded himself bleakly. She would never be for him.

Michael glanced across his horse's back. "Bradley, did you pack my greatcoat? It was in the back hallway."

The batman flushed. "No, sir. I'll go get it."

Michael bit off an oath. Though the boy wasn't as well organized as an officer's servant should be, he tried hard. "Be quick about it. We need to be off."

As Bradley left the stable, Colin Melbourne entered. Michael said, "Are you and Charles heading out to your regiment now?"

Melbourne nodded, his eyes shining. "You heard that Boney is at Charleroi? By God, we'll see some excitement now!"

"I don't doubt it." Michael was about to lead his horse out when he saw that Melbourne was saddling a nondescript cavalry hack rather than Caesar, his usual mount. Casually he said, "You're going to lead Caesar to keep him fresh?"

"No, I'm leaving him here. I'll ride Uno and keep Duo for reserve." Melbourne indicated a bay gelding as unimpressive as the one he was saddling.

Michael stared at him. "You're not riding your best horse into battle?"

"I don't want to risk him," Melbourne replied. "Besides the fact that I'm devilishly fond of the beast, if he were to be killed, the amount paid by the government compensation fund wouldn't begin to cover his value."

"For God's sake, man, it's folly to try to save a few pounds at the risk of your life!" Michael exclaimed. "In battle, a horse's stamina can be the difference between surviving and being speared like a rabbit."

"It may seem like only a few pounds to you," the other man said tartly. "Not all of us have your financial resources."

Michael bit back an oath. Melbourne was acting like an idiot and deserved whatever he would get. Yet for Catherine's sake, Michael must try to prevent the other man's folly. "If money is the issue, take Thor." He stroked the chestnut's sleek neck. "His stamina is outstanding, and I've given him cavalry training so he'll be able to do whatever is needed."

Melbourne's jaw dropped. "I can't possibly take your horse. You'll need him yourself." He gazed at Thor longingly. "If he were killed, I'd never be able to replace him."

"A horse isn't as critical in the infantry as the cavalry. My other mount will do well enough. I hope Thor comes through safely, but if not, I'll settle for whatever you receive in compensation." Michael unbuckled his saddle. "If all goes well, you can return him to me in Paris. If I don't come through, he's yours."

"You make it impossible to refuse." Melbourne smiled boyishly. "You're a good fellow, Kenyon."

As Michael transferred his gear to his second horse, Bryn, he wondered if Melbourne would be so cheerful if he knew how Michael felt about Catherine. Probably he wouldn't care, since his wife's fidelity was beyond question.

Michael collected his servants and rode into the night. For honor's sake, he had done what he could to help Catherine's husband survive. All else was in God's hands.

Chapter 10

Catherine packed her husband's personal belongings while Colin readied his horses. All too soon, she, her husband, and the Mowbrys were in the stable yard. Two torches illuminated ten saddled horses, two servants for each of the officers, and Catherine's groom, Everett, who had come down to help.

Charles had just come from kissing his sleepy children good-bye and his expression was strained. Anne went straight into his arms. They held each other tightly, neither of them speaking. Catherine envied her friends their closeness even as she grieved for their distress. It would be worth the pain to have such love.

Turning to her husband, Catherine said, "Are you sure you don't want to see Amy?"

"No need to disturb her." Colin had the bright, impervious expression that meant he was thinking about the action that lay ahead. "It won't be long until you'll both be joining me."

She blinked back the tears that threatened, knowing that Colin would hate it if she became weepy. Yet it was impossible to live with a man for a dozen years and not care about him. In an ideal world, perhaps it would have been Michael she had met and married, leaving Colin free to chase foxes, women, and the French without the responsibilities of a family. But that hadn't happened. In the real world, she and Colin had wed, and in spite of being grievously mismatched, they each in their own way had honored their marriage. She whispered, "Take care, Colin."

He gave a jaunty smile. "Don't look so worried. You know I share Wellington's magical immunity to bullets." He chucked her under the chin as if she were Amy's age. Then he swung onto his horse. "I'll see you in Paris, sooner if it's safe."

Then he and Charles and their entourage clattered out into the cobbled street. Catherine gazed after her husband. Sadly, she recognized that if he had loved her even a little bit, she would have loved him in spite of his women. Oh, he was rather fond of her. He enjoyed his comfortable home and took great satisfaction in the fact that other men envied him his wife. But she would lay long odds that he cared more deeply for his horse.

His horse. She blinked, only now registering what she had seen. Turning to her groom, she asked, "Was Captain Melbourne riding Colonel Kenyon's horse?"

"Aye," Everett replied. "The captain didn't want to risk Caesar, so the colonel said he could take Thor instead."

Oh, Lord, how typical of Colin to assume that his luck would carry him safely through a battle even on a mediocre mount. And it was equally typical of Michael to look out for another person.

Numbly she turned to Anne and they went into the house, going straight to the liquor cabinet in the dining room. Anne poured each of them a measure of brandy. After downing half of her drink, she said vehemently, "Why the devil didn't some sensible person assassinate Bonaparte? One bullet would have saved the world so much grief."

Catherine gave a humorless smile. "Men tend to think such things are dishonorable."

"Fools." Anne bent her head and rubbed her temples. "Saying good-bye doesn't get any easier with practice."

"I didn't get to say good-bye to Kenneth at all." Catherine sighed. "Did I mention that two days ago, I asked him to do some sketches of everyone in the household? I should have asked sooner. He was willing, but there wasn't enough time."

Anne raised her head. "Are you sure? There are a couple of portfolios on the table over there. I noticed them earlier, but I was too distracted to take a look."

They went to investigate. The top portfolio contained a note from Kenneth to Catherine. He apologized for the fact that he had not had the chance to give the drawings to her in person, and said that the other portfolio was for Anne.

Catherine gave the second folder to her friend, then paged through her own. The drawings were wonderful, particularly the ones of the children. A sketch of Amy swinging joyfully from a branch in the back garden caught her daughter's intrepid spirit perfectly. A laughing Colin was being nuzzled by his horse, Caesar. He looked confident and dashing and very handsome.

The drawing of Michael made her heart ache. In a handful of lines, Kenneth had caught the qualities of strength and humor, honor and intelligence, that stirred her so deeply.

Though Kenneth had included the self-portrait she had requested, it was the weakest drawing of the lot. The features were recognizable, but the overall effect was harsh and rather intimidating, revealing none of his imagination or dry wit. It must be hard to see oneself clearly.

Voice quavering, Anne said, "Look at this."

The drawing she held up showed her family in the garden. Jamie was gleefully astride his father's back as Charles played the part of cavalry horse. Molly sat by her mother, looking immensely superior from the pinnacle of her advanced years, while at the same time secretly feeding a cake to Clancy. Catherine laughed. "Bless Kenneth. To think he remembered to put these together for us when so much else was happening."

Anne studied a picture of Charles in his uniform, his plumed helmet tucked under his arm. He wore the grave expression of a man who had experienced war without being coarsened by it. "A century from now, future Mowbrys will look at this and know what kind of man their great-great-grandfather was."

"They'll be proud to be his descendants."

Anne drew the back of her hand across her eyes. "I won't cry again," she said fiercely. "I won't."

There was a long silence, broken only by the harsh rhythm of distant drums. Hearing that, Catherine suggested, "Neither of us will sleep a wink. Let's go to the city center and watch the mustering of the troops."

Anne agreed and they went to change from their ball gowns to simpler garments. As Catherine prepared to join Anne, Amy poked her head from the door of her room. "Has Papa gone?"

Wishing Colin had taken the time to wake his daughter, Catherine said, "Yes. He didn't want to disturb you."

"I wouldn't have minded," Amy said with a scowl. "Are you and Aunt Anne going out to watch what's happening?"

When Catherine nodded, Amy pleaded, "Please, can I go with you? It's horrid to be alone and unable to sleep."

Catherine could sympathize with that. "Very well. Put on a warm dress and come with us."

It was only a week until the summer solstice, and the sky was already tightening in the east as the three walked along the Rue de Namur. The drums were louder now. Their thunder was overlaid by strident trumpets calling assembly. Allied soldiers were billeted all over Brussels, and the streets boiled with activity as men responded to the summons, buttoning their jackets and dragging on their packs as they stumbled from the houses.

A British infantry regiment swung past them, marching toward the Namur Gate to the harsh rumma-dum-dum of the drums. The hammering rhythm entered the blood, as exciting as it was alarming. Catherine studied the tramping soldiers, wondering if the regiment might be Michael's. It was too dark to identify the uniform markings, and she could not see his erect form among the officers who rode alongside their troops. No matter; even if it was his regiment, they had already said their good-byes. To do so again, in front of Anne and Amy, would be excruciating.

The Place Royale was sheer chaos. Soldiers from half a dozen nations searched for their companies, sometimes with weeping women beside them. A few veteran campaigners slept with heads on their packs, oblivious to the racket of horses, cannons, and wagons clattering across the stones.

Amy's hand crept into Catherine's. "Boney doesn't have a chance, does he?"

"Not against Wellington. The duke has never lost a battle in his life," Catherine said, trying to sound confident.

They made their way from the Place Royale to the nearby park. It was about four o'clock, and the summer sun was edging above the horizon. Oblique rays of light caught the spires of the Cathedrale St. Michel. Catherine smiled wryly at the sight. Reminders of Michael were everywhere.

In the park, the fierce, blunt Welsh General Picton was mustering his division. Anne said, "The Rifle Brigade is with Picton, isn't it? Perhaps we can find Kenneth."

They scanned the seething mass of green-jacketed Riflemen, looking for officers. Amy's sharp eyes found him. "Look!" she said excitedly. "Captain Wilding is over there."

He was on horseback, snapping orders to his junior officers, but he turned when Catherine called his name. She went to him and reached up to clasp his hand. "I'm so glad we found you, Kenneth. It didn't seem right not to wish you Godspeed."

He gave the rare smile that turned his craggy face handsome. "You're very kind, Catherine."

"You've become family. If you're wounded, be sure they bring you home, so we can take care of you properly."

His face tightened. Not wanting to embarrass him further, she added, "Thank you for the drawings. They're splendid."

"I will keep mine forever," Anne said vehemently.

"I'll rest easier for knowing I have achieved immortality of a sort," he said with a faint smile. "But what makes a picture interesting is the subject, so it is you and your families who deserve the credit."

"Come back soon," Amy added. "Molly and I haven't gotten the trick of drawing perspective yet. We need more lessons."

"I'll do my best, but now I must go. Take care." He touched his forehead in a salute and turned back to his company.

Catherine and the others withdrew to one side and watched as order emerged from what had seemed hopeless confusion. Soon Picton's troops were striding away, the heavy tramp of boots reverberating through the park.

The division included the Highland regiments that had entertained the Duchess of Richmond's guests. The soldiers marched so smoothly that the plumes on their bonnets scarcely stirred. The bagpipes that had seemed exotic in the ballroom had a fierce lightness as they sang the kilt-clad Scots to war.

Following in the division's wake, the three women retraced their steps to the Rue de la Reine, picking their way around mounds of equipment and lines of heavily laden baggage animals. As the city emptied of troops, the citizens of Brussels returned to their beds. By the time they reached home, fatigue had drained away Catherine's nervous energy. Perhaps now, she thought wearily, they would all be able to rest.

But sleep eluded her. She rose heavy-eyed in midmorning. In Spain, she had usually been close enough to the action to have some idea what was happening. Here there was no news, and it made the day one of the longest of her life.

Sensing the tension, the children were quarrelsome. The servants gathered in knots to talk in hushed whispers, and one of the Belgian maids asked for her wages so she could return to her family in a village north of the city.

As Catherine and Anne ate a late luncheon, the distant rumble of cannons rolled ominously across the countryside. Battle had been joined. They stared at each other, not daring to speak, before silently returning to their bowls of soup.

When they could bear the inactivity no longer, they went up onto the city ramparts, taking all three children and Anne's pretty young Scottish nursemaid. Hundreds of others were gathered on the walls, staring to the south. Rumors were flying, but of solid news there was none.

At ten o'clock that night, a sharp rap on the door brought Catherine and Anne at a run. Anne swung the door open and found her husband's dust-covered batman, Will Ferris, standing on the steps. She went white. "Oh, my God! Is Charles-"

"No, ma'am!" he said swiftly. "Just the opposite. The master sent me to say that he and Captain Melbourne are fine."

As Catherine ushered Ferris toward the kitchen, he continued, "There's been a nasty fight against Marshal Ney at Quatre-Bras, but the cavalry didn't arrive until the very end, so we were hardly touched. They say the duke was almost captured by a party of French lancers. Had to leap a ditch full of Gordon Highlanders to save himself." Ferris shook his head. "The Highland regiments were cut to pieces, poor devils."

Catherine laid out cold meats and ale, thinking sorrowfully of the gay young Scots who had danced the night before. How many still lived? "What was the outcome of the battle?"

Ferris shrugged cynically. "I don't know if either side won, but at least we didn't lose. They say Napoleon himself went after the Prussian army. Blucher had more men, so if he and his lads did well, the French may be retreating by now."

"I hope you're right," Anne said fervently. "What about the Rifle Brigade? And Colonel Kenyon's regiment?"

"The Rifles were in the thick of it, but Captain Wilding came to no harm." Ferris paused for a swig of ale. "Nor did the 105th-they were held in reserve and never got into the fight."

Probably that was because of the regiment's inexperience-Catherine hoped the 105th would continue to be used as reserves rather than frontline troops. Perhaps Michael and his men would find that disappointing, but she would not.

After eating, the batman excused himself to visit Elspeth McLeod, Anne's young Scottish nursemaid. The two were courting. He spent half an hour with his sweetheart, then saddled up again for the long ride back to the army.

Catherine's spirits were heavy when she went to bed. It would be wonderful to believe that the French had been broken, but in her heart, she knew the worst was still to come.

The proof of the previous day's battle came the next morning, when Molly looked out an upper window and called excitedly, "Mama, there are wounded soldiers in he street!"

Her cry brought most of the household running. From he vantage point of the upper window, they could see into tie Rue de Namur. Injured men who had walked through the night were beginning to stumble into the city through le Namur Gate.

White-lipped, Catherine said, "I'll get my medical kit."

"They'll want water." Anne looked down at her children, who were pressed against her skirts. "Molly, it was very clever of you to see the soldiers. Jamie, may I borrow your wagon so I can take out buckets of water?" He nodded bravely.

Elspeth said, "I'll come, too, ma'am. I have six brothers,I know something of fixing injuries." The other servants also volunteered to do what they could.

Anne ordered her children to stay in the house with the cook. Older and more determined, Amy did not bother to ask if she could help; she simply accompanied Anne with the little water wagon. Catherine considered telling her to go home, but decided against it. Her daughter was no stranger to painful sights.

By the time their party reached the Rue de Namur, the street had turned into an impromptu hospital. Besides the walking wounded, wagonloads of injured men were rumbling through the gate. Citizens of Brussels and foreigners poured from their homes to work side by side to alleviate the suffering in any way they could. Some helped wounded men to their billets while others provided blankets, straw, and parasols to shield men from the hot sun. Catherine saw a nun and a girl who looked like a streetwalker aiding a Belgian boy who had collapsed against the railings of a house. The pharmacies freely gave away supplies.

Catherine's Peninsular experience stood her in good stead as she cleaned and dressed less serious wounds. After the horrible suspense of the previous day, it was a relief to be able to do something. Since Amy was a reliable dispenser of water, Anne fetched a notebook and took last message and mementos from dying men who wanted word sent to their families.

Catherine was picking fragments of fabric and gold lace from a gory, mangled arm when a familiar Scottish voice said, "Trust you to be in the middle of this, lassie."

She looked up to see the prematurely white hair and blood-stained shirt of her surgeon friend, Ian Kinlock. "And trust you to come all the way from London for the chance to see more carnage," she said unsteadily. "Thank heaven you're here, Ian. This sergeant needs more than I can do."

Kinlock knelt beside her and examined the wound. "You're in luck, Sergeant. There are two balls in your arm, but no bones are broken, so amputation isn't necessary. Catherine, hold him while I take the balls out." He pulled instruments from his bag.

Catherine braced the injured right arm. The sergeant gave one anguished gasp and sweat covered his face, but he scarcely moved during the long minutes it took to locate and extract the balls. When the probing was over, Catherine sponged the sergeant's face with cool water while Ian bandaged the wound.

"It's grateful I am to you both," the sergeant said with a rich Irish brogue. He pushed himself to a sitting position with his good arm. "If you'll help me up, sir, I'll be on my way."

"You'll do, Sergeant," Ian said as he complied with the request. "Are you going to the hospital tent over by the gate?"

The Irishman shook his head. "I've a billet where they'll take care of me. Don't understand a word they say, but they treat me like a prince." Before the sergeant had taken ten steps, an elderly priest came to help him to his destination.

Noticing that it had darkened, Catherine glanced up to see heavy clouds covering the sky. The wind was rising and lightning flickered on the horizon. "Lord, a thunderstorm is coming. That's all we need."

"And coming fast. A good thing the hospital tents are up." Ian repacked his instruments. "That will give these poor fellows some shelter."

Catherine looked around and found that the street was almost empty. The first wave of wounded had been tended or moved under cover. Anne had left half an hour earlier, gray with fatigue.

The lightning crackled much closer, illuminating the street with garish brilliance. As Catherine stared numbly at the fat raindrops splashing onto her stained skirt, the surgeon asked, "How long have you been working out here?"

"I don't know." She wiped water from her brow. "Hours."

"Go home," he ordered. "You can come to the hospital tent when you've had some rest."

"Will you be working there?"

"Aye." He smiled wryly. "Sleeping there, too, I expect."

"Stay with Anne and me." Catherine pointed out her house. "We have ample space, and you'll rest better than in the tent."

"I'll take you up on that, most gratefully."

Lightning blazed across the sky, followed immediately by a deafening roll of thunder. As the rain intensified to a torrent, Catherine grabbed her medical kit and went to collect Amy.

Her daughter loved storms, and now she was staring aptly at the sky. "Wellington weather, Mama," she said,raising her voice above the thunder. "There's going to be a battle."

"Very likely." Catherine took Amy's hand. "But now let's go inside before we drown!"

Catherine took Amy to the nursery. Then she changed to dry clothing and came down to the hot tea and sandwiches Anne had ordered. They were just finishing when a knock sounded at the front door. A minute later, the parlor maid brought Lord Haldoran into the morning room. Water cascaded from his greatcoat, and his fashionable detachment had been replaced by urgency.

"Mrs. Melbourne, Mrs. Mowbry." He made a quick bow. "Have you heard the latest news?"

"I'm not sure," Anne replied. "Please tell us."

"Yesterday the Prussians were badly mauled at Ligny. They had to retreat almost twenty miles, so Wellington is falling back also to maintain his lines of communication. I understand he's setting up his headquarters at a village called Waterloo."

"Dear God," Anne whispered, her face white. "That's only ten or twelve miles from here."

"Napoleon is on Brussels' doorstep," Haldoran said bluntly. "It's anybody's guess whether Wellington will be able to stop him with his ragtag assortment of troops. Every foreigner who can leave the city is going or gone."

Catherine set down her teacup carefully. "I would put my money on the duke, but this is not good news."

"I didn't come only to frighten you," Haldoran said more moderately. "Last week I took the precaution of hiring a barge to take me to Antwerp if the fighting went badly. There's room for you and your children and a servant each. But if you wish to come, we must leave right away."

Catherine gave him a startled look. It was a remarkably generous offer. Perhaps she had misjudged him.

"I… I can't abandon my husband." Anne unconsciously pressed her hand to her swelling abdomen. "What if Charles is wounded and he is brought home?"

"If matters go well, you can return in a few days." Haldoran's gaze went from Anne to Catherine. "But if they don't, would your husbands want you to risk the lives of your children?"

Catherine bit her lip. She was willing to take her chances,but dare she do that with her daughter? "There is a solution." When the other two looked at her, she said, "I have more nursing experience and Anne has more children, so I'll stay here and keep the house open while Anne takes the three children to Antwerp."

Anne exhaled with relief. "If you're willing, that would be perfect. Though I hate leaving, we'd be fools to pass up a chance to take the children to safety when the French are so close. Lord Haldoran, it will take half an hour to get everyone ready. Is that acceptable?"

Catherine saw a flash of sharp irritation in Haldoran's eyes, and realized that his offer had been less generous than it appeared on the surface. It was her that he wanted, probably with the hope that the distraught officer's wife might be in need of comfort. No matter; his help was welcome, and he was too much of a gentleman to withdraw it merely because Catherine wasn't coming.

Quickly concealing his irritation, he said, "Half an hour will be fine, though I wish you were coming also, Mrs. Melbourne. Brussels might be dangerous." He got to his feet. "I'll write down the address of my bankers in Antwerp. You can reach me through them if necessary."

"Thank you. It's very good of you to go to such lengths for people you've only known for a few weeks," she said with a hint of dryness.

"It would be criminal to waste the space on the barge," he said piously. "With both of your husbands risking their lives for their country, it seems right to extend my protection to you."

The next half hour passed in a flurry. When told she was going to Antwerp, Amy begged, "Please, Mama, let me stay. You've said often what a help I am."

"You are, my love. But I will not be able to stop myself from worrying about what might happen to you." Catherine smiled ruefully. "I can't help it, I'm a mother. When you have children of your own, you will understand."

Amy capitulated, with the stipulation that she be allowed to return as soon as it was safe.

The pretty young nursemaid Elspeth McLeod also asked to stay. Knowing the girl wanted to be near Will Ferris, Anne agreed, taking Catherine's maid to help with the children.

Exactly half an hour after Haldoran's offer, the travelers assembled in the front hall. Catherine hugged Amy fiercely, then turned to embrace Anne.

Her friend said in a choked voice, "If the fortunes of war separate us, you know the address of Charles's mother in London. And if… if anything happens to you and Colin, I will raise Amy as if she were my own."

"I know." Catherine swallowed hard. "And if necessary, I will nurse Charles as you would."

Anne took a deep breath, then said calmly, "Time to go, everyone."

Catherine watched out the window as the party hastened through the rain to the carriages. She was glad to see that Haldoran had several large, dangerous-looking male servants to protect the party.

She watched until the carriages disappeared from sight. Then she turned from the window, tears trickling down her cheeks. She had never been separated from Amy before. "Damn Napoleon," she whispered. "God damn him to hell."

Chapter 11

One of the first military lessons Michael had learned was that an officer must always appear composed under fire. That was particularly true when hours of lethal French cannonading had already killed or wounded a quarter of his regiment, and more than half of the officers. The pummeling din and the clouds of black smoke were enough to unnerve even experienced soldiers.

The regiment was formed into a hollow square for defense. Ranks of armed soldiers faced in all four directions while officers, supplies, and the wounded sheltered in the center of the formation. Less seriously injured men retired from the field, while the dead were ruthlessly thrown from the square to make room for the living. Michael strolled around inside the formation, talking to his men, offering what comfort he could to the wounded, and sharing an occasional wry joke.

Trying not to inhale the acrid, slinging smoke too deeply, Michael walked to the center of the square where the two regimental flags, called the colors, were standing. By tradition, they were carried by the most junior officers in the regiment and guarded by experienced sergeants. The youngest ensign, Thomas Hussey, was only sixteen, so Michael kept a close eye on him.

As he approached, a cannonball struck soggily near the colors. Luckily no one was hit. The ball rolled slowly across the soft ground. Tom Hussey handed his flag, the Union Jack, to one of the color sergeants. "Since the French have provided us with the means," he called gaily, "shall we have a game of football?"

He ran toward the ball with the obvious intention of kicking it. Michael barked, "Don't touch that! A cannon-ball might look harmless, but it could take your foot off. I've seen it happen."

The ensign skidded to a halt. "Thank you, sir." Face a little pale, he returned to his flag. Michael gave a faint, approving nod. Though green, the boy had the cheerful courage that would make him a good officer, if he survived.

Michael raised his spyglass to see what little he could of the battle. His view consisted mostly of shoulder-high fields of rye. Earlier in the day, there had been a French infantry assault to the left. The rye and the fog like smoke obscured everything more than a few hundred feet away, so Michael had tracked the attack by the sounds of muskets, shouts, and marching music. The French had been beaten back, but he knew nothing beyond that.

Another cannonball struck several men in the rear of the square. Captain Graham, the highest ranking uninjured officer after Michael, went to survey the damage. Expression grave, Tom Hussey said, "May I ask a question, Colonel Kenyon?"

"Go ahead."

"What is the point of standing here and being cut to pieces? There is no fighting in this section of the lines. Surely we could withdraw to a safe distance until needed."

"We are needed-to do exactly what we are doing," Michael said soberly. "If we weren't here, Napoleon's men would drive right through and the battle would be lost. The cavalry may race back and forth across a battlefield, but it is the infantry that takes possession." He kicked the soft earth. "As long as one member of the 105th lives, this is British soil. The death of our fellows is tragic, but it isn't meaningless."

The ensign nodded slowly. "I see, sir."

Though his explanation was true, this long and bloody day was a vivid reminder of why Michael preferred the swift, fluid combat of the Rifle Brigade. It felt better to be a moving target than a stationary one. He wondered how Kenneth and the 95th were faring. They were probably spending the day skirmishing with the French between the lines. He envied them.

He began ambling around the square again. He was talking with a lieutenant when he realized that he could hear his own voice. The ceaseless thunder of artillery had made speech and thought almost impossible. Now the cannon had stopped shelling their section of the lines. Knowing what that meant, Michael called, "Prepare for attack! They've stopped the artillery so they won't hit their own men."

Numbed soldiers came sharply alert. Sergeants barked at their men, firming the lines with curses and exhortations to check the loading of muskets. The air quivered with tension, for this could be the regiment's first taste of face-to-face combat.

At first the straining eyes of the regiment saw only ghostly shapes moving forward through the veils of smoke. Then a line of horsemen emerged, the misty figures gradually taking the shape of French cuirassiers. Their gleaming steel helmets and breastplates made them seem eerily like medieval knights. Large men on large horses, they were the heavy cavalry, designed to crush all opposition, and they were heading directly at the 105th and the two neighboring squares.

The massive hooves of the horses flattened the stalks of grain into the muddy ground as the cuirassiers moved inexorably up the slope. Seeing the front line of the square waver, Michael moved swiftly forward from his position in the center of the square. "Stand firm!" he shouted. "Horses won't charge directly at a square, and we have more guns than they do. Hold your fire until I give the word. Then aim for the horses!"

The oncoming riders were within forty paces when Michael ordered, "Ready. Level. Fire!"

His front rank discharged their muskets in a deafening blast. There was a shriek of wounded horses and a weird, metallic rattle like hailstones as balls ricocheted from the steel breastplates. Half a dozen horses and their riders fell, forcing those behind to swerve to the sides.

As his first rank reloaded, Michael gave the order for the second rank to fire. The ragged salvo brought more attackers down. In spite of the furious efforts of the riders, the horses sheered away, flowing around the square, which brought them under fire from the muskets on the flanks.

The cavalrymen churned chaotically around the square, firing their pistols and being fired on in return. Finally seeing the futility of the maneuver, their commander ordered a retreat.

The horses were cantering down the slope when a fallen rider called desperately for help. One of his comrades wheeled and came back. As he caught his friend's hand to pull him onto his mount, two British soldiers raised their muskets and took aim.

"No!" Michael barked. "Don't kill a brave man for helping his friend!"

After a startled moment, the men nodded and lowered their weapons. Courage deserved respect even in the enemy.

During the lull that followed, Michael scanned the field with his spyglass. He could see little beyond the neighboring squares, but it sounded as if the French cavalry was attacking along a wide section of the allied lines.

A shout warned that the cuirassiers were returning. Michael said wryly, "Enjoy the cavalry charges, gentlemen. They're a lot less dangerous than the cannonade."

Laughter rippled around the square. This time the firing was steadier. A barrier of dead or wounded horses began to build around the square, making it harder for the riders to approach.

Michael was moving toward the left side of the square, which was under the heaviest fire, when a ball struck him in the left arm. The impact spun him around and knocked him to the ground.

Captain Graham rushed over to him. "Are you hurt, sir?"

Dazedly Michael pushed himself to a sitting position. A wave of pain almost caused him to black out. When he saw the alarmed expressions around him, he forced himself to his feet. "It's not serious," he said tightly. "Get someone over here to bandage it."

The regimental surgeon had been killed and his assistants seriously wounded, so a corporal who had been a barber was doing what he could for injuries. After tightly binding the wound and fashioning a sling, the corporal offered a canteen. "Have a drink of this, sir, but slowly."

Heeding the warning, Michael took a swallow from the canteen. It contained straight gin. His eyes watered, but the spirits certainly distracted him from the pain in his arm. "Thanks, Symms. Generous of you to share your medicine."

Symms grimaced as he closed the canteen. "Need to keep you fit, sir, 'cause we're running short of officers."

The cavalry withdrew while Michael was being tended. Though the 105th had stood fast, injuries were thinning the ranks. Michael gave the order for the square to close up, and prepared for the next attack.

Catherine went early to work in the hospital tent. In midafternoon, she took a short break, carrying a glass of water to Ian Kinlock's operating table. A canvas wall separated it from the pallets of the wounded men. He was also taking a break, so she handed him the water, saying, "Perhaps the armies haven't engaged yet, Ian. There's no sound of firing today."

He swallowed deeply, then shook his head. "Wind's from the wrong direction. Anything could be happening, and probably is."

They both fell silent. Nearby, a church bell rang. Catherine said soberly, "I'd forgotten that today is Sunday. A bad day for a battle."

"They're all bad days." He wiped the sweat from his face, then said to the orderlies, "Bring the next one."

Catherine returned to work, giving water and changing dressings. But though she had a smile and a soft word for everyone, part of her heart was with the men who were fighting, and perhaps dying, only a few miles away.

The cavalry attacks swirled in again and again, like waves breaking against the rocks. Michael had lost track of the number. Ten? Twelve? But the regiment had gained confidence. As the third assault had lumbered up the hill, he'd heard a North Country voice drawl, "Here come those damned fools again."

The current attack was the worst. The cuirassiers had been circling for most of an hour, firing their pistols, brandishing their sabers, and doing their best to break the allied squares. They failed. Not only were they outgunned, but their horses continued to shy away from the British bayonets and muskets.

The 105th stood as firmly as if they were rooted to the soil. Wellington had taken heed of Michael's words the night of the ball and positioned the regiment between veterans. To the left was the British 73rd Infantry, to the right Hanoverians of the King's German Legion, who had fought with honor in the Peninsula. Michael's men had a fierce determination to prove themselves equals to their neighbors, and they were succeeding.

A ragged shout went up behind Michael. Hearing disaster in the cry, he whirled and saw a dying horse crash into one edge of the square. The beast screamed and fell thrashing, knocking down a swath of British soldiers and tearing a hole in the line.

Seeing their chance, other cuirassiers drove their horses toward the gap. Michael swore furiously, for the freak accident was virtually the only way that cavalry could break a square. Already the line was crumbling as panicky soldiers scrambled away from the massive charging horses.

He dashed forward to rally his men. When a terrified youth with a powder-blackened face tried to bolt past him, Michael struck him with the flat of his sword. "Stand and fight like a man, goddammit! Running is the quickest way to die!"

The terror in the boy's eyes abated and he turned back, raising his musket with trembling hands. The other surviving officers and several sergeants also moved in to prevent the square from collapsing. A vicious struggle began as the British tried to force back the French cavalrymen.

For Michael, time slowed, turning the hand-to-hand combat into an unearthly dance. The leisurely tempo meant he could see and exploit every enemy error. A damned nuisance that his left arm was unusable, but the lack did not seriously impede him. A cuirassier slashed at him wildly with his saber. Michael easily turned the stroke aside with his sword. In the same fluid, rising motion, he buried his blade in the precise center of the Frenchman's throat.

Without pause he wrenched his sword away and dodged a horse that was about to run him down. He dropped beneath the level of the rider's blade and severed the horse's right front tendon, crippling it. The rider was hurled to the ground and bayoneted by a burly Irish soldier.

A bellowing cuirassier drove straight for the company colors, determined to seize one. The six-foot flags were a regiment's heart and spirit, and losing one in battle would be an irreparable source of shame.

Seeing the danger, Tom Hussey and his two color sergeants rushed the Union Jack to safety. The guardians of the blue regimental flag were less fortunate. One sergeant was already down. The other raised the pike that was his badge of office. He was struck by a shot from the cuirassier's pistol before he could use the pike, leaving the ensign and his banner undefended.

The ensign, Gray, tried to protect the standard, but the Frenchman rode him down and seized the staff of the flag in one hand. With a hoarse shout of triumph, he spurred his mount to escape the square.

Blood rage swept through Michael at the sight. He dropped his sword and threw himself at the charging horse. His left arm was useless, but he managed to grab the staff with his right hand. The sharp yank almost dragged his arm from its socket. He hung on grimly, his weight slowing the cuirassier.

Seeing that Michael was utterly defenseless, the Frenchman jerked his saber up, slicing his assailant's ribs. He was preparing to deliver a lethal blow when the wounded color sergeant lurched to his feet and drove his pike through the armhole of the breastplate, spitting the Frenchman. Michael dizzily clung to the staff as the rider's body fell past him.

Chest heaving, he scanned the square and saw that the 105th's savage defense had closed the gap. Two cuirassiers were trapped inside. Neither survived to return to his own lines.

The wounded sergeant and bruised ensign reclaimed the color, leaving Michael to endure the bandaging of his ribs. Though he had not felt pain during the white heat of action, it exploded with full force when the danger had past.

His wounds were serious enough that no one would blame him if he retired from the field, but he daren't leave. No other officer had a fraction of his experience. Graham, next in line for command, was brave, but he had come from a county militia regiment and seen no fighting before today. If Michael did not stay, God only knew what would happen during the next crisis.

Though gin was no substitute for blood, a few mouthfuls did dull the pain.

A cockney voice yelled, "Blimey! Here comes Old Hookey!"

A cheer went up. Michael returned the gin canteen and turned to see Wellington and an aide racing toward his square, pursued by a dozen French lancers. The square opened to admit the duke and his companion, then closed again. A volley of musket balls drove off the lancers.

Wellington was famous for always being where the fighting was fiercest. Unperturbed by the nearness of his escape, he pulled up his horse. "Good show here, Kenyon."

Michael forced himself to stand straight. "The regiment has done itself proud, sir. How goes the battle?"

The duke shook his head. "We're taking a pounding. Blucher swore he'd come, but the rain turned the roads to mud, so God knows when we'll see him. If the Prussians don't get here soon…" His voice broke off. "I must be on my way. Stand steady, Kenyon."

As Wellington prepared to leave, a soldier yelled, "When can we go at the frogs, sir?"

The duke smiled faintly. "Don't worry, lads, you'll have your chance at them." Then he cantered out of the square toward the beleaguered Chateau de Hougoumont, where the Guards had been fighting the French all day in a vicious battle-within-a-battle.

It was early evening, Michael supposed, but time had lost all meaning. Hard to believe that two days before, he had been waltzing with Catherine in a room full of light and elegance.

As he waited for the next attack, he tried to remember what it was like to have her in his arms. But detail was impossible to recall. The only thing he could conjure up was the warmth in her aqua eyes, and the bittersweet joy of holding her close.

The menacing beat of French drums began the signal for an infantry attack. Michael's lips thinned. He raised his spyglass, balancing it awkwardly with his good hand. Through the heavy smoke, he saw a vast French column advancing toward the allied lines. Luckily it would hit to the right of the 105th, so his tired men would have time to recover.

A bandage on his thigh, Captain Graham limped up. "May I borrow the spyglass, sir?"

Michael passed it over. The captain muttered an obscenity as he identified the red plumes and high bearskin hats. "So Boney is finally sending in his Imperial Guard."

"Precisely. They've never failed in an attack, and after spending the day in reserve, they're as fresh as if they were on parade in a park," Michael said grimly.

It was the last grand throw of the dice. With the Imperial Guard, Napoleon would regain or lose his empire.

At suppertime, Catherine forced herself to go home. Though activity was infinitely preferable to waiting, she must conserve her strength. It had been confirmed that another battle was being fought, so there would be a new wave of wounded in the morning. Intensely she prayed for the lives of her friends.

Catherine collected Elspeth, who was also helping in the hospital. The girl was proving herself a stalwart Scot, but her face was gray and dark circles shadowed her eyes.

Together they walked the short distance to the Rue de la Reine. Most of the Belgian servants had returned to their families, leaving only the cook and Catherine's groom. A good thing Everett was there, or the horses might have been stolen.

After washing up, the two women ate together in the kitchen. Catherine found it impossible to swallow more than a few mouthfuls of soup. Wearily she added a generous dash of brandy to her tea and took it to the morning room.

The portfolio of sketches was still there. She leafed through them again, wondering if the men in the pictures were still safe and whole. Was Colin glorying in what must be the battle of a lifetime? Would Charles live to see his unborn child, or Kenneth survive to draw other laughing families?

She came to the last picture, and quickly closed the portfolio, her throat tight. It would be a pity to ruin the drawing of Michael with her tears.

The Imperial Guard fell back, shattered by the fierce resistance of the allied troops. Michael was almost too dazed to appreciate the enormity of it. France's finest troops had broken and turned into a mob instead of an army.

But it wasn't over yet. How much longer would the battle last? How much longer could it last? The 105th had suffered over forty percent casualties, half of whom had died outright. Other regiments had fared even worse.

Then Graham cried jubilantly, "Look, sir!"

An elm tree at the crest of the ridge, where two roads intersected, was Wellington's command post when he was not riding the lines. The spot was barely visible through the smoke. Now the duke was there, his lean form silhouetted against the evening sky as he stood in his stirrups and waved his cocked hat forward three times. It was the signal for a general advance. A thunderous cheer went up in the regiments nearest the duke and rolled down the allied lines in a swelling roar.

Fierce exultation burned through Michael, searing away his weakness. In his bones, he knew that this battle was won. The long years in the army, the brutal hours of being cut up by French artillery, had come down to this moment. Raising his sword in the air, he shouted, "Follow me, 105th!"

"Aye, Colonel! To hell, if you'll lead us there," a voice boomed back.

The regiment formed into companies and boiled down the slope over the matted, blood-soaked rye, muskets and bayonets at the ready. All along the ridge, the action was being echoed by the other allied troops under command of any officers who survived. They swooped down onto the plain, leaving behind them unmoving scarlet lines of dead and wounded.

Vicious skirmishing began across the two-mile width of the battlefield. Though much of the imperial army was in full flight, pockets of French soldiers still resisted gallantly.

The 105th split into smaller groups, some men pushing forward after the fleeing enemy, others engaging in fierce hand-to-hand combat with those Frenchmen who still fought. All was chaos. Light-headed from blood loss, pain, and fatigue, Michael was in a dark, fierce place where there was no past or future or fear. Only instinct and will and the madness of war, where any moment might be his last.

Reality was a collection of feverish, disconnected images. A tangle of fallen French guards, their limp bodies intertwined like tree roots. An abandoned horse peacefully cropping a mouthful of grass. A dying hussar, his belly ripped open, pleading for death. Michael spoke a prayer in French, then cut the poor devil's throat.

He thought his own death had found him when a cuirassier charged, sword swinging. Michael braced himself, but knew that in his present condition he had no chance against a mounted man.

Then the Frenchman's gaze went to Michael's sling. He raised the hilt of his sword to his forehead in a salute and swerved away in search of other targets. Michael touched the hard ridge of the silver kaleidoscope, which was tucked inside his coat. His lucky charm had not failed him yet.

They were moving up the opposite slope of the valley when Michael pushed through a gap in a ragged hedge and found Tom Hussey being attacked by two Frenchmen. As one stabbed a bayonet through the ensign's shoulder, Michael leaped forward with a murderous shout. He sliced one assailant's chest, then turned snarling on the other. Unnerved by his attack, both men fled.

Tom wiped his forehead with a grimy sleeve. "How does one learn to fight like you, sir?"

"Practice and a bad temper." Michael's fury subsided, leaving him panting. He indicated the blood seeping between the ensign's fingers. "You should get that taken care of."

"There will be time for that later." Tom's eyes were bright with the intoxication of fighting and surviving.

There were only two good hands between them, but together they managed to bind the bayonet wound. Then they moved forward again. Michael tried to keep an eye on the boy, but a flurry of advancing Hanoverians separated them.

Death in battle can come in an instant, or with excruciating slowness. For Michael the end came swiftly. He heard a snarled French curse, and turned to see the men he had driven away from Tom Hussey. Both were aiming their muskets from less than fifty feet away. They fired. Two balls slammed into him almost simultaneously, one in the thigh, the other in his abdomen. When he crumpled to the muddy earth, he knew he would not rise again.

He lay there, barely conscious, until he felt the vibration of galloping hooves drumming through the soil. He raised his head to see half a dozen French lancers racing toward him in mindless panic. Though he knew the effort was pointless, he tried to crawl toward a ragged hedge that might offer some protection. He did not reach it in time. The lancers rode over him, the hooves of the horses rolling him across the ground. One lancer slowed long enough to stab his lance into Michael's back.

Pain was everywhere, so intense it blacked out the red setting sun and the clamor of battle. With each shuddering breath, he hoped that dying with honor would redeem the times when he had not lived with it.

He felt himself floating away, disconnected from his battered body. Catherine was there, her presence more vivid than the devastation around him. She smiled and dissolved his pain with gentle hands.

With the final shreds of awareness, he knew that he had died well, and that he had been privileged to know a woman worthy of being loved. Then he spiraled into darkness, his spirit at peace.

Chapter 12

As the evening passed, Catherine knew with nerve-searing certainty that something was terribly wrong. She and Elspeth sat together in the morning room, the dogs at their feet. There was nothing unusual about Louis sleeping, but even Clancy's high spirits were subdued.

It was almost a relief when the knocker banged in an eerie echo of two nights before. Both women dashed to the front door to find Will Ferris again. His face was haggard and blackened by powder, but apart from a bandage around his right forearm, he was uninjured. With a cry, Elspeth flew into his arms.

Catherine envied them, wishing her own life was so simple. She gave them a few moments before asking, "What news, Will?"

Still holding Elspeth, he said in staccato sentences, "The battle is won. Bloodiest thing I ever saw. Your husband isn't hurt, but Captain Mowbry was injured. I came to tell his wife."

"She took the children to Antwerp. What are his injuries?"

"A ball shattered his left forearm. He was knocked from his horse and likely would have died if not for your husband, ma'am. Captain Melbourne turned around, took him up, and brought him back to our lines."

Thank God for Colin's indomitable courage. "I must bring Charles home. Do you feel strong enough to take me o him now, or will you need to rest first?"

Ferris looked alarmed. "I'm well enough, but I can't take you to Waterloo, ma'am. Every house in the village is full of dying men. It's no place for a lady."

"I promised Anne I would care for Charles as if I were her, and by God, I will," she said flatly.

When Ferris tried to protest again, Elspeth said in hersoft burr, "Don't worry, Will. Mrs. Melbourne can manage anything."

Outnumbered, Ferris surrendered. Everett was called from his room above the stables to prepare the small cart that was used for household hauling. The groom covered the flat bed with straw and Elspeth brought blankets while Catherine packed her medical kit, including her laudanum. Rather than travel in the cart with Everett, she donned the breeches she had sometimes worn in Spain and rode Colin's horse, Caesar.

As they set off through the Namur Gate, she asked Ferris about the fate of other friends. He knew nothing about infantry officers like Michael and Kenneth; however, he was well informed about the cavalry regiments. The litany of casualties was brutal. Men Catherine had known for years were dead or grievously wounded. Though the Allies had carried the day, they had paid a bitter, bitter price.

The road passed through a dense forest. It was a lovely drive during normal times, but as they neared the village of Waterloo the way became clogged with wagons, dead horses, and spilled baggage. Luckily their cart could squeeze through where a larger vehicle would have been stopped.

It was after midnight when they reached their destination. Leaving Everett with the cart and horses, Catherine followed Ferris to the house-turned-hospital where Charles had been taken. An irregular mound lay beside the door. With a shudder, she recognized it as a pile of amputated limbs.

Inside the house were the groans and stoic suffering that she knew all too well. A strangled cry came from the salon at the left. She glanced in and saw that the dinner table was being used for operating. A frowning Dr. Hume bent over it.

Ferris led her through the crowded house to the small side room where Charles lay. He was conscious, though obviously in pain. When he saw her, he said huskily, "What are you doing here, Catherine?"

"Substituting for Anne. When the outcome of the fighting looked chancy, Lord Haldoran offered to take her and the children to Antwerp until the danger was past. In return, I promised to care for you. Which means a kiss, though not quite the one Anne would give you." She bent over and touched her lips to his forehead. "We've come to take you home."

He smiled faintly. "I'd like that. I believe it's almost my turn for the cutting room. After my arm comes off, we can go."

His eyes drifted shut. She studied his drawn face, then gave a nod of satisfaction. The arm would certainly have to be amputated, but if there was no infection, he would pull through.

Softly she said to Ferris, "Since we'll be here for a bit, why don't you lie down and get what rest you can?"

He rubbed his face, smearing the powder marks. "A good idea. I noticed an empty corner in the next room. I'll doss down there until you're ready to leave."

A few minutes later, a boyish voice murmured, "Ma'am, could… could you get me some water, please?" The speaker was an ensign on the next pallet. There was a bandage around his head and another around his shoulder. He was heartbreakingly young.

"Of course." She went in search of a pitcher of water and a glass, finding them in the kitchen. The ensign accepted the drink gratefully. She was giving water to a man on the other side of the room when Colin's bemused voice said, "Catherine?"

She looked up to see her husband standing in the doorway. He was filthy and exhausted, but intact. "I'm so glad to see you." She rose and went to him. "I've come to take Charles back to Brussels."

"Good. I stopped by to see how he was." Colin put an arm around her and drew her close in a gesture that was as much fatigue as affection. "Lord, what a fight it was! There's not a man who came through who won't be proud to have taken part, but it was a near-run thing. Damned near-run." For a moment he rested his chin against her hair. Then he released her.

"You were right about your magical immunity to bullets," she said. "Ferris told me you saved Charles's life."

"The credit must go to Michael Kenyon for insisting I take his horse. During the afternoon, we made the grandest cavalry charge I've ever seen. It was magnificent." His eyes brightened at the memory. "We sent the French flying, but we went too far into their territory, then had to retreat with their cavalry after us. The ground was muddy from the rain. If I'd been riding Uno or Duo, they would have caught me."

He grimaced and ran a hand through his tangled hair. "That's exactly what happened to Ponsonby, the Union Brigade commander. Like me, he didn't want to risk his best mount, so he was riding a second-rate hack. Because of the heavy soil, the beast became blown during the retreat. Ponsonby was run down and killed by lancers. I was spared his fate only because Kenyon's horse has incredible stamina. Saved Charles and me both."

"Then I'm very glad Michael insisted on the exchange." She hesitated, then asked, "Do you know how he fared in the battle?"

"I've no idea." Colin's brows drew together. "Did you come here on Caesar? If so, I'll take him and you can ride Thor back to Brussels. Because the Prussians missed most of the battle, they took charge of the pursuit, but tomorrow I imagine we'll go after the French, too. I'll need a fresh horse."

Catherine described where Colin could find Caesar. "Is the fighting over?"

Her husband shrugged. "If Napoleon manages to regroup, there could be another battle."

"Dear Lord, I hope not," she said with a glance at the wounded men surrounding them.

"Perhaps it won't come to that. I don't imagine I'll see you again until we're in Paris. Take care." Colin kissed her cheek absently and left.

A few minutes later, orderlies came to take Charles to Dr. Hume. Catherine accompanied him. The exhausted surgeon greeted her with no show of surprise. After a careful examination, he said, "You're in luck, Captain. I'll be able to leave you the elbow. Do you want a piece of wood to bite?"

Charles closed his eyes, the skin tightening across his cheekbones. "That shouldn't be necessary."

Catherine moved forward and took hold of his right hand. His fingers clamped around hers and sweat showed on his brow when Hume sawed off the injured arm, but he uttered no sound. Hume had the swiftness that was essential to a good surgeon, and the operation was over in minutes.

An orderly was taking away the severed limb when Charles said hoarsely, "Wait-before you toss that out. There's a ring my wife gave me on our wedding day. I'd like it back, please."

The orderly looked startled. Then he tugged the ring from the dead finger. Not knowing whether to laugh or cry, Catherine took the ring and slid it onto the third finger of Charles's right hand. He whispered, "Thank you."

Catherine said, "Dr. Hume, I want to take him back to Brussels. Will that be all right?"

"He'll be better off there than here," the surgeon said. "Give him some laudanum so the jarring of the cart won't distress him too much. You know how to change dressings.".

"Yes, and I've also got Ian Kinlock staying at my house, when he has time to rest."

Hume laughed, his expression lightening. "Trust you for that. Mowbry's a lucky man-he'll have the best of care."

The surgeon returned to his operating table. Catherine instructed the orderlies to take Charles back to his former pallet. She gave him laudanum, then sat back to wait for the drug to take effect. A few minutes later, she again heard a surprised male voice say, "Catherine?"

When she looked up, it took a moment for her to recognize the man in the doorway because of the sticking plaster that covered most of his cheek and curved into his dark hair. But the burly build was unmistakable.

"Kenneth!" She rose and took his hands. His Rifle Brigade uniform was almost unidentifiable and one epaulet had been shot off, but he was blessedly alive. "Thank God you came through." She glanced at the sticking plaster. "A saber slash?"

He nodded. "I'll be even uglier when it heals, but it's nothing serious. Are you here for your husband?"

"No, Colin is well. Charles Mowbry was injured, and I'm going to take him back to Brussels. He lost his lower left arm, but his condition is good otherwise." Her heart began beating faster. "Do… do you know anything about Michael Kenyon?"

Kenneth looked grim. "I'm here looking for him. He's not with his regiment, nor in any of the other temporary hospitals."

It was the news Catherine had been dreading. She pressed her knuckles to her mouth. It might be wrong to care more for Michael than for her other friends, but she could not help herself.

Seeing Catherine's expression, Kenneth said, "Michael could be alive, on the field, so there's still hope."

She frowned. "Are many wounded still out there?"

"After ten hours of battle, Wellington's entire army has collapsed and is sleeping like the dead," Kenneth said heavily. "I would be doing the same if I didn't want to find Michael." More to himself than her, he added, "I owe him that."

The ensign who had earlier asked for water interrupted diffidently. "Begging your pardon, sir, ma'am, but are you talking about Colonel Kenyon of the 105th?"

Catherine knelt beside the boy's pallet. "Yes. I'm a friend of the colonel's. Do you know what happened to him?"

"I don't know if the colonel is alive or dead, but I saw him fall. I might be able to find him." The ensign pushed himself upright. "I was trying to reach him when my skull was creased by a ball. By the way, I'm Tom Hussey of the 105th, ma'am."

Kenneth said, "Tell me where he is and I'll go search."

Tom shook his head. "I think I can find the place, sir, but it would be hard to describe. I'll have to go with you."

"Can you manage that?"

"For the colonel, I can manage." Expression resolute, the ensign lurched to his feet.

"I've got two men and a cart with me," Catherine said. "I'll get them, a litter, and my medical kit."

Kenneth looked startled. "You can't go onto the battlefield, Catherine."

"Try and stop me," she snapped, her voice vibrating with emotion. "If Michael is alive, he'll need medical help."

He indicated Charles's sleeping form. "What about Mowbry?"

"He's resting quietly from the laudanum. It won't hurt him to wait a little longer. It might even be beneficial."

"Come along, then." Kenneth smiled wearily. "I haven't the strength to fight both Napoleon and you on the same day."

Ferris rose to join the search. Everett drove the cart while the others rode. Colin had exchanged horses and saddles, so Catherine rode Michael's gelding. Thor was weary and a bullet had grazed his flank, but he carried her without complaint. She stroked the chestnut neck, blessing him for saving two lives.

The 105th had been positioned near a road, so the first part of the trip went quickly. The nightmarish journey made Catherine grateful for the darkness. Bodies and wrecked equipment were everywhere. When she heard groaning, she forced herself to ignore it. They could not help everyone. She wondered how many wounded men would die during the night, but understood why the exhausted survivors had not even tried to help. In the morning, the task of aiding the casualties would seem less overwhelming.

They followed the road until they were as close as possible to where Tom Hussey had last seen his colonel. Rather than risk the cart becoming bogged down in the muddy earth, they left Everett on the road and cut off across country. Their pace slowed, for the ground was scattered with broken swords and bayonets that could cripple a horse.

Tom dismounted and began leading his horse. The others did the same, Kenneth and Ferris carrying the lanterns while the ensign studied the landscape. They zigzagged several times before he said hesitantly, "I think he was by that hedge."

After they followed the line of the hedge for a hundred yards, the lantern light suddenly washed over two men in peasant dress who were leaning over the limp form of a fallen soldier. Growling an oath, Kenneth pulled out his pistol and fired into ther air. The peasants fled into the night.

"Looters," he said with disgust as he reloaded.

Catherine was unsurprised. In Spain, sometimes the dead and wounded had been robbed even when a battle was in progress. Her pace quickened and she went to the fallen man. The height and lean, muscular build were right, the dark jacket…

Heart pounding, she dropped to the muddy ground beside the man. Kenneth was right behind her. His lantern illuminated the sharply planed features of Michael Kenyon. His face was pale as a death mask and his uniform saturated with dried blood.

Fearfully she touched his throat, seeking a pulse. She could not find one, and he was cold, so cold. Her vision blurred as grief swept over her.

Kenneth asked harshly, "Is he alive?"

His voice pulled Catherine back from her near-faint. Lips dry, she said, "I don't know." She lifted Michael's arm. It moved easily. "I can't find a pulse, but there's no rigor." She pressed her hands to her temples. What should she do?

She must think of Michael as a patient, not as a man she cared for. "Do you have something highly polished, like a watch?"

Tom Hussey said, "Take this, ma'am." He pressed a silver locket into her hand. She held it in front of Michael's mouth. A faint film of moisture appeared.

Dizzy with relief, she sat back on her heels. "He's breathing, though only just."

"We'll have to move him," Kenneth said.

"Let me examine him first."

When Catherine returned the locket, the ensign said, "The sling is from a ball that went through his arm-a flesh wound. His ribs were slashed by a saber."

There was a deep gash in his back, perhaps from a lance. It had bled, but the earlier bandage had afforded some protection. There was also a messy flesh wound in his thigh, with the bullet still buried. She bound it, then turned him onto his back.

Her heart contracted when she saw the ragged hole above his waist. Abdominal wounds were invariably fatal. She pulled the blood-crusted fabric away so she could see how much damage had been done. To her surprise, her fingertips touched the coolness of metal. She traced the shape, then removed a flattened silver tube with a lead ball embedded in it. "This thing, whatever it is, stopped a bullet from going into him."

"It's a kaleidoscope," Kenneth answered. "It makes changing patterns of colored glass. He called it his good-luck charm."

"Good luck, indeed." She dropped the object into her medical case.

Her examination confirmed that none of his injuries were necessarily fatal. What worried her most was that there was no active bleeding, indicating that he had already lost massive amounts of blood. She had a jug of water in her bag, so she spooned some between his dry lips. He couldn't swallow. She stopped, fearing he might choke, and got wearily to her feet. "I've done as much as I can here. We must get him to a surgeon."

Kenneth and Ferris carefully lifted Michael onto the litter and Catherine covered him with a blanket. Then they set off across the fields to the waiting cart. The sky was lightening in the east. The endless night was almost over.

Michael was alive. But would that be true in an hour?

Chapter 13

It was late morning when Catherine and her two patients arrived back in Brussels, escorted by Everett and Ferris. Kenneth and Ensign Hussey had returned to their regiments. She had promised to send news of Michael's condition, but from their bleak expressions, she knew they expected the worst.

The journey had been made slowly to minimize the jolting of the unsprung cart. Catherine had ridden behind, watching her patients like a hawk. Even with laudanum, the trip was hard on Charles, though he had born the pain stoically. Michael had been so still that she feared they were carrying a corpse.

As soon as they reached home, she had dismounted and checked Michael for vital signs. His skin was bluish and clammy and his pulse and breathing were almost nonexistent, but he still lived.

A rumpled but rested Elspeth emerged from the house and hugged Will Ferris. "How is Captain Mowbry?"

"He's doing well," Catherine replied. "When the men have settled him in his room, will you administer a dose of laudanum and sit with him?"

Ferris said, "I'll stay with the captain, ma'am."

"Not until you've slept," Catherine said sternly. "You fought a battle yesterday and have had no rest since."

He started to protest, but Elspeth gave him a look. "To bed with you, Will, or I'll send you there myself with a skillet over your stubborn Sassenach head."

Ferris gave in with a tired smile. As he and Everett placed Charles on the litter, Catherine said to Elspeth, "Colonel Kenyon is in a bad way. Is Ian Kinlock here?"

"Aye, he's sleeping. He came in a little after you left."

"Please wake him, and ask him to come to the colonel's room as soon as possible."

Elspeth nodded and left. After Everett and Ferris took Michael inside, Catherine dismissed the two men and began cutting off Michael's ruined coat and shirt. He had not taken time to change the night of the ball, so he was still wearing his dress uniform. He had looked so splendid then. So alive.

As she pulled pieces of garment out from under him, he gave a faint, breathy moan. She touched his cheek. "Michael, can you hear me?"

His lids fluttered once, but he did not wake. Trying to sound confident, she said, "You're going to be all right, Michael. The best surgeon I know will be here in a few minutes."

She turned her attention to his battered body. He was bare from the waist up, except for the stained bandage around his ribs. His torso was a mass of bruises and abrasions. Long-healed scars were overlaid by new wounds, and there was an enormous purple-blue bruise where the musket ball had rammed the kaleidoscope into the muscles of his abdomen.

She had seen many men's bodies in the course of her nursing work, but never had she felt such tenderness. She skimmed her fingers over Michael's collarbone, thinking that it was criminal that a beautiful, healthy body had been so abused. Once more, she damned Napoleon Bonaparte and his insatiable ambition.

Then she set her emotions aside and began the laborious process of cleaning the wounds. She was picking bits of scorched cloth from the hole in his arm when the surgeon joined her.

Ian looked like a wrinkled, unshaven beggar, but his blue eyes were alert. "An emergency?"

She nodded. "Colonel Kenyon is a particular friend. He was billeted here. We found him on the battlefield last night."

Ian moved to the bed and studied the patient. "Why weren't his injuries dressed in Waterloo?"

"We took him there, but Dr. Hume said that… that there was no point. Other men needed him more." The words had fallen on her heart like a death knell. "I decided to bring him here in the hopes that you would treat him."

"I see why Hume decided not to waste the time-the fellow is more dead than alive. Still, since he's a friend of yours…" Ian began an examination. "Hmm, I worked on him somewhere in the Peninsula-I recognize the wounds. Grapeshot, very messy. I'm surprised he survived. Get my instruments. I left them drying in the kitchen after washing them last night."

Kinlock's insistence on cleanliness when possible produced much teasing from other surgeons. He had always smiled and said his Scottish mother had been a demon for washing, and surely it did no harm. Perhaps because Catherine was a housewife, clean instruments made perfect sense to her. She suspected that they were one reason why Ian's patients did so well.

By the time Catherine had retrieved the instruments from the kitchen, Ian had finished the examination and removed the rest of Michael's clothing. He began to clean and dress the wounds with the combination of strength and dexterity essential to a good surgeon. Catherine handed him what he needed and took away what he didn't. The lengthy process made her thankful Michael was unconscious.

Even so, when Ian was probing for the ball buried in his thigh, Michael made a hoarse sound and tried feebly to pull away. Catherine caught his knee and hip to immobilize the limb. Embarrassingly aware of his nakedness, she averted her gaze. No matter how much she tried, she could not make herself think of him as an ordinary patient. "Is his reaction a good sign?"

"Perhaps," the surgeon said noncommittally. There was a dull scrape as his forceps closed around the lead ball. He tugged the ball free with painstaking care and dropped it in the basin Catherine held. Then he took a different kind of forceps and began removing fragments from the gaping wound. "Your friend was lucky again. The ball missed the major blood vessels and only chipped the thigh bone without causing serious damage. Half an inch either way and he would have died on the field."

With such luck, surely Michael was not intended to die. Yet all the humor and vivid intelligence were gone from his face, leaving an austere mask. Her eyes ached with unshed tears.

Ian finished and pulled blankets over Michael's chilled body. Fearing the answer, Catherine said, "What are his chances?"

"Damned poor," Ian said bluntly. "The wounds are survivable, even though it looks like half the French army used him for target practice, but he's bled out." He shook his head with regret. "I've never seen a man so deep in shock recover."

Catherine pressed her fist to her mouth. She would not cry. She wouldn't. Ian had only said what she already knew. It was not wounds that would kill Michael, nor infection, for he would not live long enough for that. Loss of blood would be the cause. She stared at his still body, her mind racing desperately through all of the medical theories she had ever heard.

Kinlock was cleaning his instruments when the idea struck her. "Ian, didn't you tell me once that occasionally blood has been transferred from one person to another?"

"Aye, and from animals to humans, but only experimentally. It's a chancy business at best."

"You said that sometimes the procedure helped."

"Seemed to help," he corrected. "Perhaps the patients that survived would have lived anyhow."

"And the ones who died might have died." She ran nervous fingers through her hair. "Would blood transfusion help Michael?"

"Good God," Ian said, horrified. "Do you want to kill the poor devil?"

"What are his chances if nothing is done?"

Ian sighed and looked at the man on the bed. "Almost nil."

"Might more blood be the difference between life and death?"

"It's possible," he admitted reluctantly.

"Then let's do it. You know how, don't you?"

"I've seen it done, which isn't quite the same thing." Ian scowled. "The patient died in the case I saw."

"But sometimes patients survive. Please, Ian," Catherine said softly, "give Michael a chance."

"The Hippocratic oath says doctors should first do no harm," he protested. "Besides, where would we get a donor? Most people would rather face Napoleon's cavalry than a surgeon's knife."

"I'll be the donor."

Shocked, he said, "I can't allow you to do that, Catherine."

Frayed by fatigue and anxiety, she exploded, "I'm so tired of men saying 'Oh, Catherine, you can't do that.' I'm a healthy, strapping wench, and I can certainly spare some blood."

"That's the first time I've ever seen you lose your temper." He surveyed her with a faint smile. "I don't usually think of you as a strapping wench, but I suppose there's no reason why you shouldn't give your blood. There's little danger for the donor."

"So you'll do the transfusion?"

"He's a tenacious man, or he would never have survived this long." Ian lifted Michael's wrist, frowning as he felt for the pulse. There was a long pause before he said decisively, "In for a penny, in for a pound. Very well, we'll try. A transfusion might just give him the extra strength he needs."

She felt almost dizzy with relief. "What do you need?"

"A couple of clean quill pens, one a little larger than the other, and an assistant. You'll be in no position to help."

Catherine went to enlist Elspeth, leaving the cook to sit with Charles. Thank God the girl had stayed; her own maid would have shrieking hysterics if asked to do such work.

Kinlock's preparation didn't take long. He trimmed the goose quills and ran a wire through them to ensure that they were clear. Then he fitted the large end of one into the large end of the other and sealed the joint with sticking plaster.

When he was satisfied, he said, "Catherine, lie next to the colonel, facing the other direction. I'm going to make the incisions inside the elbows."

Catherine pulled Michael's bare arm from under the blanket and rolled up her right sleeve. Then she lay down on top of the covers, feeling a nervous twinge at the intimacy of sharing a bed with Michael even under such bizarre circumstances. Ian laid down towels to absorb spilled blood, then made adjustments until he was satisfied with the positions of their arms.

She tried to relax, but it was difficult when she was acutely aware of Michael's nearness. His life seemed like a frail spark that could be extinguished with a single puff of breath. Yet in spite of the odds, he still lived. She clung to that fact.

"It's a simple process, really," Ian said conversationally as he lifted a lancet. "I'll expose a vein in his arm and an artery in yours and tie ligatures around the vessels to control the flow of blood. Then I'll insert one end of the quill apparatus into the colonel's vein, tie it in place, and do the same to your artery. After that, it's only a matter of loosening tourniquets and ligatures so the blood can flow."

Catherine laughed shakily. "You make it sound easy."

"In a way, it is. The hardest part will be finding and opening one of his veins when they're almost collapsed. Close your eyes, now. You don't want to see this."

She obeyed, following what was happening by sound. Ian's muttering confirmed the difficulty of finding Michael's vein and sliding in the quill. Success was signaled when he said, "Hold the quill in place, Miss McLeod."

Then he laid a hand on her arm. "Ready, Catherine? It's not too late to change your mind."

If Michael died when she could have done something to help, she would never forgive herself. "Cut away, Ian."

The razor-edged blade sliced into her arm. It hurt, of course. It hurt a lot. When Ian tied off her artery in two places with waxed thread, she bit her lip to prevent herself from whimpering. She stopped when she noticed a metallic taste in her mouth, thinking a little hysterically that it wouldn't do to waste blood that might be of use to Michael.

The lancet cut again, more deeply. Ian swore and there was a strangled moan from Elspeth. Catherine opened her eyes to see blood spraying from her arm and Elspeth weaving, her face ashen.

Ian barked, "Damn it, lassie, you don't have my permission to faint! You're a Scot, you can do this." Swiftly he stopped the splattering blood. "Close your eyes and breathe deeply."

Elspeth obeyed, gulping for air. A little color returned to her face. "I'm sorry, sir."

The crisis past, he said soothingly, "You're doing fine. I've seen strong men drop like felled timber after a single incision. Don't look again. All you have to do is hold that quill in Kenyon's arm."

"I will, sir," Elspeth promised.

Feeling faint herself, Catherine closed her eyes, not wanting to watch as the narrow end of the quill was inserted into her artery. A good thing she was lying down. After securing the quill, Ian loosened the ligatures and tourniquet. He gave a murmur of satisfaction. His hands stayed on her arm, holding the crude apparatus in place.

She opened her eyes a slit and saw that the translucent quill had turned to dark crimson. Her blood was flowing into Michael. Now, when it was too late, she questioned the arrogance of demanding a procedure that might kill him. She had no right-yet what else could she do? As a nurse, she recognized approaching death, and it had been in Michael's face.

Curiosity overcoming her queasiness, Elspeth asked, "How can you tell how much blood has been transferred, Dr. Kinlock?"

"I can't, any more than I can tell how much the donor can spare," he said harshly. "Catherine, how do you feel?"

She licked her dry lips. "Fine."

"Let me know the moment you start to feel dizzy or unwell."

Coldness crept through her body. She was acutely aware of the beating of her heart, the pumping that forced her blood into his veins, and with it, her love. Live, Michael, live.

"Catherine?" Ian's voice seemed very remote.

"I'm all right." Surely she was a long, long way from the blood depletion that Michael had suffered. "Continue."

Numbness was spreading up her arm and into her body. She opened her eyes again and saw Ian frowning. He touched the ligature, as if preparing to stop the transfusion.

She summoned every shred of her will to make her voice strong. "Don't stop too soon, Ian. There's no point in doing this if he's not going to get enough blood to make a difference."

Reassured, the surgeon held his peace.

Her mind began wandering. She thought of the first time she had seen Michael. He had been attractive, certainly, but many men were. When had he become special, his life as dear to her as her own? She could no longer remember.

"Catherine, how are you feeling?"

She tried to answer, but couldn't. There was no sensation in her cold lips.

Swearing again, Ian tied off the vessels and ended the transfusion. As he sutured her arm, he muttered about pigheaded females with less sense than God gave the average flea. She would have smiled, but it was too much effort.

"Miss McLeod, get a pot of tea," the surgeon ordered. "A large one, and a goodly amount of sugar."

The soft sound of footsteps, then the closing of the door. Catherine felt movement beside her, and realized it was from Michael. She moistened her lips, then whispered, "Is he better?"

Ian finished his bandaging, then laid his hand over hers. It seemed feverishly warm on her cold flesh. "His pulse and breathing are stronger, and there's a little color in his face."

"Will… will he survive?"

"I don't know, but his chances have improved." Ian squeezed her hand, then released it. "If Kenyon does live, he'll owe it to you. I hope he's worth the risk you took."

"He's worth it." Catherine gave a faint smile. "Confess, Ian. You're glad to have had an excuse to try a new procedure."

Amusement in his voice, he said, "I must admit that it's been interesting. I'll be curious to see the results."

Catherine let her eyes drift shut. She had done what she could. The result was in God's hands.

It was dark when she woke. Disoriented, she raised her hand and felt a sharp stab of pain inside her elbow. The events of the afternoon rushed back to her. The transfusion had left her near collapse. Ian had poured several cups of hot, sweet tea down her, then carried her to bed. After giving orders for her to rest at least until the next day, he had left Elspeth in charge and gone back to the hospital tent.

Catherine sat up cautiously and swung her legs to the floor. If she exercised care, she should be able to walk. She rose and pulled on a robe, needing the warmth, then went out.

Charles and Anne's room was across the hall from hers, so she peered in. A lamp showed Ferris sleeping on a pallet beside the bed. Charles was breathing easily and his color was good. It grieved her to see the stump of his left arm, but the loss was not one that would destroy his life. He would manage. In the morning she must ask Elspeth if a letter had been sent to Anne, who was surely half out of her mind with worry.

Then she made her way to the other end of the house, one hand on the wall for balance. Michael's room was also lamplit, though there was no one with him. Perhaps Elspeth had felt there was nothing she could do for someone so ill, or perhaps she was simply too tired. She had worked like a Trojan for days.

Michael turned restlessly. His breathing was strong; if anything, too strong. Unsteadily she crossed the room and put her hand on his brow. It was heated and he was sweating. She supposed some fever was inevitable, but it still disturbed her.

His eyes flickered open, but there was no awareness in them. Hoping to rouse him, she said, "Michael? Colonel Kenyon?"

He began to move spasmodically, trying to get up. "I'm coming," he muttered hoarsely. "Steady on, now. Steady on…"

His action brought him alarmingly close to the edge of the mattress. Fearing he might fall and break open his wounds, she caught his shoulders and pressed him back to the bed.

"No, Michael, you must rest," she said soothingly. "You're safe now. You're going to heal and be as good as new."

Though he was too weak to break away, he continued to struggle mindlessly. Frustrated by her weakness, she climbed onto the bed and drew him into her arms, cradling his head against her breasts. Her embrace calmed him a little, but not enough. He reminded her of Amy as a feverish infant. The thought gave her an idea. She began to croon a lullaby. "Sleep, my child, and peace attend thee, all through the night…"

She stroked his head as she sang every lullaby she knew. His rough breathing slowed, but when she stopped, he became agitated again. She sang old songs she had learned as a child. "Greensleeves" and "Scarborough Fair," "The Trees They Grow So High," and, rather shyly because it was a love song, "Drink to Me Only with Thine Eyes." Anything with a gentle tune.

She included some of the lovely ballads she had learned from Irish soldiers on the Peninsula. One was the haunting "Minstrel Boy." Without thinking, she started, "The minstrel boy to war has gone./ In the ranks of death you'll find him/His father's sword he has girded on/ and his wild harp slung behind him…" She stopped, throat tight, unable to bear the images of war, then started a wordless rendition of "A Londonderry Air."

She sang until her voice was hoarse and she was so tired she could barely open her mouth. Gradually Michael's restlessness stilled and he fell into what seemed like natural sleep.

She knew she should leave, but it was hard to be concerned with propriety when Michael's life still hung in the balance. Besides, she doubted if she could walk as far as her room.

With a sigh, she settled into the pillows. His unshaven chin prickled her breasts pleasantly through the thin muslin of her nightgown. His hair was damp, but he was no longer perspiring and his temperature seemed near normal. God willing, the crisis had passed.

He would heal, and soon he would be gone. She would have the satisfaction of knowing that somewhere in the world he was healthy and happy, but never again would they be so close.

Daring because he could not hear, she whispered, "I love you, Michael. I always will." Then she kissed him on the forehead, as she had done with Charles. Surely no one could condemn such a kiss too harshly.

Weary to the soul, she drifted into sleep.

Chapter 14

Having carried Catherine's face into the darkness, Michael was unsurprised to see her when he returned to consciousness. His first hazy thought was that the vision above him was an angel disguised as Catherine to make him feel welcome in heaven.

Yet surely heaven was not his most likely destination. He frowned, trying to understand. He was drifting in a sea of pain, so hell seemed more likely. Purgatory at the very least.

Catherine's soft voice said, "Michael?"

She sounded so real that he involuntarily reached out to her. The abstract sea of pain became shockingly personal, racking every inch of his body and darkening the veils that shrouded his mind. He gave a shuddering gasp.

She laid a cool hand on his brow and studied his face. Her eyes were shadowed and her hair was tied back carelessly. She was still the loveliest woman he'd ever seen, but if he were in the afterlife, he would surely remember her as she had looked the night of the Richmonds' ball. Amazingly, he must be alive, though not for long, considering the wounds he had received.

He tried to speak and managed a hoarse, "Catherine."

"Finally you're awake." She gave him a shining smile. "Can you swallow some of this beef broth? You need nourishment."

He gave a faint nod. It seemed like a waste of time to feed a dying man, but perhaps moisture would make speech easier.

She sat on the edge of the bed and raised his shoulders a little, supporting him as she spooned broth between his lips. Even that small motion produced an explosion of new pain. In a world of agony, her yielding body was the only balm. Softness and the scent of roses, and a haunting dream of music.

When he had swallowed as much as he could, she laid him back against the pillows. Then she changed her seat to a spot where he could see her easily. Though movement of the mattress hurt, it was worth it to have her so close.

Voice stronger, he asked, "The battle?"

"We won. That was three days ago. Allied troops are now pursuing what's left of Napoleon's army into France. If they prevent the French from regrouping, the war might be over."

He blinked. "Three days?"

She nodded. "Kenneth is well-he and Ensign Hussey from your regiment found you on the field after the battle." She hesitated. "Kenneth sent your groom and baggage here, but I've heard nothing about your orderly, Bradley. Was he killed?"

He nodded bleakly. Bradley had been a cheerful young Irishman. At least his death had been mercifully quick. "Your husband and Charles Mowbry?"

"Colin came through without a scratch. He said to thank you because your horse, Thor, saved Charles and him both. Charles is here. He had to have his left forearm amputated, but he's doing well." She smiled wryly. "Much better than you."

He was glad to hear that her husband had survived. Colin Melbourne's death would have produced deep, wholly irrational guilt because Michael had wished the other man didn't exist.

"Surprising… I'm still breathing." His hand went feebly to the spot where the bullet had plowed into his abdomen. It was impossible to separate that pain from myriad others.

"You were insanely lucky." She reached into the nightstand and brought out his kaleidoscope, now badly mangled. "You have three major wounds and half a dozen minor ones, but this saved you from the one bullet that would surely have been fatal."

He stared at the lead ball and the ruined silver tube. "Shattered rainbows, in truth."

She looked at him quizzically. "Shattered rainbows?"

"That's what the kaleidoscope contained-pieces of dreams and rainbows. A lovely thing. A gift from a friend." He smiled faintly. "My lucky charm."

"Obviously."

He reached for it, but could not raise his hand. Pain again, like red-hot knives. "Not… lucky enough."

"You're not dying, Michael," she said emphatically. "In the process of being shot, slashed, trampled, and kicked by horses, you lost about as much blood as a man can lose and still live. For that reason, you're going to be horribly weak for some time to come-months, perhaps. But you are not dying."

She sounded so sure that he was half convinced. He had felt almost equally awful after Salamanca, and he'd survived that.

Her brows drew together. "I'm talking too much. You need rest." She got to her feet. "One more thing. You wanted letters sent to your particular friends if you died. Do you want me to write them to say how you're doing? When they see your name on the casualty lists, they'll be worried."

"Please. And… thank you." He tried to keep his eyes open, but the brief conversation had exhausted him.

"I'll write this afternoon and give the letters to a military courier so they'll reach London quickly." Catherine pressed his hand. "You're going to be fine, Michael."

Having seen how state of mind could affect a man's recovery, she intended to repeat her assurance often. She got to her feet wearily. Though she'd lost only a fraction of the blood Michael had, she still felt feeble as a newborn kitten.

She took the three letters from Michael's dresser so she could copy the addresses. Her brows rose a little as she looked at them. The Duke of Candover, the Earl of Strathmore, the Earl of Aberdare. High circles indeed. She guessed that the men were the other "Fallen Angels" Michael had known since school days. What had he called them? Rafe, Lucien, Nicholas. She envied them for having had his friendship for so many years.

Catherine was not there the next time Michael awoke. Instead, a pretty brunette was shyly laying her hand on his shoulder. After a moment, he recognized her as Elspeth McLeod, the Mowbrys' nursemaid. He murmured, "Hello."

"Good morning, Colonel. I have some gruel for you. Dr. Kinlock says we must feed you at every opportunity."

"Gruel," he said with as much loathing as he could get into a whisper. But he submitted meekly. He couldn't have eaten real food even if it were offered.

After he finished, Elspeth laid him back and straightened the covers. "I don't mind saying I didn't expect you to survive. When Catherine brought you home, you looked ready for planting."

He frowned, not understanding. "Catherine brought me home? She said Kenneth Wilding found me."

"Aye, but she was with him. She went to Waterloo to get Captain Mowbry, and ended up going onto the battlefield with Captain Wilding." The girl shivered. "Better her than me."

Michael had known Catherine was intrepid, but even so, he was amazed. "I owe her even more than I realized."

"That you do," Elspeth agreed. "You were bled out and the next thing to dead, so she talked Dr. Kinlock into letting her give you some of her blood. I helped. 'Twas the strangest thing I've ever seen. It worked, though. Dr. Kin-lock says you would have died if not for the transfusion."

He frowned, confused. "How could she give me her blood?"

"Through a pair of goose quills, from her arm to yours." Elspeth rose. "The doctor said not to tire you, so I'll leave. With you and Captain Mowbry ill, there's much to be done."

After the door closed behind her, Michael raised his hand a few inches and stared at the shadowy vessels pulsing beneath the thin skin inside his wrist. Catherine's blood was literally running in his veins. It was an intimacy so profound that his mind could not encompass it. Saint Catherine indeed, not only brave but modest, and the most generous woman he had ever known.

She would have done the same for any friend, perhaps even for a stranger. Yet the knowledge that she had shared her lifeblood moved him profoundly. For as long as he lived, something of her would be part of him. He closed his eyes against the sting of tears. It was damnable to be so weak.

The Earl of Strathmore was frowning over the letter he had just received when a footman entered. "Lord Aberdare is here, my lord. I've shown him into the drawing room."

Lucien rose to greet his friend. Trust Nicholas, the intuitive Gypsy, to come all the way from Wales because he sensed trouble on the wind. After shaking hands, Lucien said, "I just received a letter from Brussels about Michael. He was badly wounded, you know."

"I know-Clare and I have seen the casualty lists," Nicholas said tersely. "But I've been worried about Michael for weeks. Since I was nervous as a cat on a griddle, Clare told me to come to London because news would arrive here more quickly."

Lucien handed him the letter. "A Mrs. Melbourne wrote this. Michael was billeted with her family this spring, and now she's caring for him. Apparently his chances of recovery are good."

Nicholas scanned the page. "He mentioned Catherine Melbourne in several of his letters. Her husband is a dragoon captain." He gave a low whistle as he read the letter. "Michael was carrying that kaleidoscope you gave him all those years ago and it blocked a bullet to the belly?"

"Apparently. Mysterious are the ways…"

"Thank God he had it with him." Nicholas frowned. "It's obvious that even if Michael doesn't take a turn for the worse, it will be a long convalescence. You know everyone, Luce. Where can I find a really comfortable yacht?"

Lucien's brows rose. "You mean…?"

"Exactly." Nicholas neatly refolded the letter. "Clare has already given me my marching orders. I'm to go to Belgium and bring Michael home."

Chapter 15

Amy's dark head peered around Michael's door. "Today's newspaper has arrived, Colonel. Shall I read it to you?"

"I would enjoy that very much."

He smiled as Amy entered and sat down with a graceful swirl of skirts. The house was much livelier since Anne and the children had returned from Antwerp. Charles had regained much of his strength, and most of the Belgian servants were back.

Life had returned to normal for everyone except Michael. Though the pain had lessened, he was still maddeningly weak. The brisk Dr. Kinlock had assured him that his condition was normal after such blood loss, but the knowledge did not increase his patience. He particularly hated having Catherine see him in such a pathetic state. The fact that she was an experienced nurse and not in love with him did not assuage his tattered male pride.

His condition had one advantage: he was too feeble to feel desire. Instead, his yearning was of the heart, not the body. He had not realized how deeply he cared for Catherine until now, when passion no longer obscured more subtle feelings.

Amy read the main stories of the day, translating from French to English. Michael knew French, of course, but listening to English was less effort. Besides, he enjoyed her company. If he ever had a daughter, he hoped she would be like Amy.

She turned the page. "Here's a nice story. The French army surgeon, Baron Larrey, the one who invented the field ambulance? He was captured by the Prussians after Waterloo. Marshall Blucher was going to have him executed, but a German surgeon who had heard Baron Larrey lecture went to Blucher to plead for his life." She looked up, her eyes shining. "And guess what?"

"Blucher changed his mind, I hope?"

"Not only that. It turned out that Blucher's own son had been wounded and captured in a skirmish with the French, and it was Larrey who had saved his life! Isn't that wonderful?" She looked back at the paper. "Now Marshal Blucher is sending Baron Larrey back to France with a Prussian escort."

"That's a very good story," Michael agreed. "The world needs all the healers it can get."

As Amy refolded the newspaper, her mother entered. "Time to go upstairs for your lessons, my dear."

After grimacing elaborately, Amy dropped an elegant curtsy. "So good to see you again, Colonel Kenyon. Until tomorrow?"

"Until tomorrow, Mademoiselle Melbourne. Thank you for the gift of your presence."

Her dimples flashed as she skipped out, a tomboy again.

Catherine said with mock severity, "What, pray tell, is Louis the Lazy doing on your bed?"

"Sleeping, of course." Michael rested his hand on the dog's back. "Does he ever do anything else?"

"He eats. Sometimes he scratches. It's a narrow range." Catherine ruffled the dog's silky ears. "Do you mind if I do my knitting here? This is the quietest room in the house."

"You're always welcome, if you can bear my snappish temper."

"Actually, you're surprisingly good-natured for a man who is probably being driven mad by inactivity." Catherine took a seat and removed embroidery from her work bag. Now that she was less busy, she spent hours sitting quietly with him, doing needlework or writing letters. It was healing to have her near.

"I don't have the strength to throw a really good tantrum," he said wryly. "Not when my great achievement of the last week has been managing complete sentences again."

"Ian Kinlock says you're making excellent progress." She looked up with a stern glance. "As long as you don't bring on a relapse by trying to do too much, too soon."

"I can't lie here like a limp cravat forever," he said reasonably. "You're very patient, but surely you want to join your husband in Paris. Life will be much gayer there."

Her gaze dropped and she made a precise stitch. "A letter came from Colin today. He said that since he owes you his life, I must stay in Brussels until you're well."

Michael's mouth tightened. "There is a limit to how much charity I can accept."

"There is no charity involved." She selected a new skein of silk thread. "Having spent an exhaustingly brilliant spring in Brussels, I'm in no hurry to frolic in the fieshpots of Paris. Besides, with Charles leaving the army and taking his family back to London, heaven knows when I'll see the Mowbrys again."

He released his breath in a slow sigh. Perversely, he was simultaneously glad not to be a burden and regretful that he was not more important to her.

Footsteps were heard approaching along the hall. After a perfunctory knock, Anne opened the door. "Michael, are you well enough for a visitor? A friend of yours has just arrived from England." She stepped aside and ushered in Nicholas, then left..

"Good Lord," he said blankly. "I'm dreaming."

"No such luck. I've tracked you down." Nicholas clasped Michael's hand, the hardness of his grip belying his casual air. "Clare sends her love. She would be here if not for the baby."

Michael tried to think of some witty response, but he failed. After swallowing hard, he said, "Catherine, meet the Earl of Aberdare. Nicholas."

The earl turned and gave a warm smile. "Sorry, I didn't see you there. I'm glad to meet the legendary Saint Catherine."

The obvious affection between Michael and his friend made Catherine feel forlorn and excluded and not at all like a saint. Disliking her reaction, she rose and offered a smile in return. "The pleasure is mine. How did you get to Brussels so quickly?"

"A good yacht and captain." The earl glanced at Michael again. "Both courtesy of Rafe, who sends his best wishes, and a severe scold for being fool enough to get yourself shot."

A smile crossed Michael's gaunt face. "Knowing Rafe, the scold probably came first."

"Yes, but I'm too tactful to admit that." Aberdare reached inside his coat and pulled out a shining silver tube. "Lucien sent this, to replace the one that was destroyed."

"Does it include the same good luck?"

"Guaranteed." Aberdare gave him the kaleidoscope.

Michael held it to his eye and turned it slowly. "This version is a little larger than the other, and even lovelier. Catherine, you never saw the original before it was smashed, did you? Take a look."

She accepted the tube and pointed it at the window. Inside was a brilliantly colored star-shaped pattern. She gave a sigh of delight. "Enchanting."

The figure changed as she turned the tube and the colored fragments realigned. They really did look like pieces of rainbow. Lowering the device, she said to the visitor, "It was good of you to come. Are you on the way to Paris?"

Aberdare shook his head. "No, I've come to take Michael back to Wales. That is, if he wants to go and can be moved."

Fighting back a ridiculous urge to say that he was hers and she wouldn't let him leave, Catherine said, "It's up to the doctor, of course, but surely that's a long, exhausting trip even for a healthy person."

"I'll take him to the coast by barge," the earl said. "Then the yacht will sail around Britain to the port of Penrith, only a few miles from home. Not a fast trip, but going by water all the way should make it fairly painless. Also, I brought a nurse handpicked by Lucien's wife to take care of Michael on the trip."

"Home." Michael's eyes closed for a moment. "I'd like that. Very much."

"Then it will be done." Aberdare regarded him thoughtfully. "It's time to leave. We're tiring you."

His eyes opened again, looking very green. "Not really. I'm this useless all the time."

"True, but Mrs. Melbourne will surely have my head if I don't let you rest." Aberdare briefly laid his hand on Michael's. "Until later."

Catherine and Aberdare left the room. As soon as the door closed, the earl exhaled roughly and covered his eyes with his hand. Concerned, Catherine asked, "Are you unwell, my lord?"

"Please, call me Nicholas." He lowered his hand, revealing a strained expression. "We knew he had been gravely wounded-that's why I came. But it's still a shock to see him like this. He's always been so strong. He must have lost two stone, and he looks like his own ghost. It brings home how close we came to losing him."

"He's fortunate to have such friends," Catherine said as she led the way downstairs. "You've gone to a great deal of effort for him."

"Michael is family, really. He lives just across the valley from us. He's godfather to my son." Nicholas ran tense fingers through his black hair. "We've been friends since our school days. I'm half Gypsy, not the best ancestry for a snobbish place like Eton. Michael was the first boy willing to make friends. I've never forgotten that." He gave Catherine a slanting glance. "I promise we'll take good care of him, Mrs. Melbourne."

Wondering uncomfortably how much the earl had seen in her face, Catherine said, "You must call me Catherine." They entered the drawing room. "Where are you staying?"

"Nowhere yet-I came directly here." Nicholas made a dismissive gesture. "With everyone gone to Paris, it should be easy to find rooms in a hotel."

"You can stay here-the room across from Michael's is empty, and there is room for three or four servants."

"Thank you." He gave a tired smile. "You're very kind."

Catherine smiled back, but underneath, her heart ached. Though she had known she would lose Michael, she had not expected it to be quite so soon.

It took Nicholas only two days to complete the arrangements to return to Wales. Michael was not surprised; having known Nicholas for twenty-five years, he was well acquainted with the efficient, razor-sharp mind concealed beneath the casual charm.

By the day of departure, Michael had progressed to sitting up, though doing so was painful. As they waited for the coaches to come, he fingered the edge of his robe restlessly. "Is that rumble outside the departing Mowbrys?"

Nicholas glanced out the window. "That was the baggage wagon leaving. The coach is being delayed while that over-exuberant canine called Clancy is being corraled. Anne Mowbry is looking understandably harassed. Ah, Charles is exerting his authority as an officer and gentleman and ordering the beast into the carriage. It looks like they are finally on their way."

"It doesn't take long for a home to come unraveled."

Michael wondered if Catherine would come to say goodbye. It might be easier if she didn't, yet he hated the thought that he might not see her again. Perhaps she would say a public farewell, when he was being carried out on a litter. He hated that thought also. "This really was a home for several months."

"Credit going to Anne and Catherine, I assume. I like them both immensely." Nicholas gave his friend a shrewd glance. "Especially Catherine."

There were advantages to learning to control one's emotions from infancy. "They're both a credit to the female half of the race. I'll miss them and the children. I'll even miss Louis the Lazy, who is surely the most inert dog on God's green earth."

Nicholas laughed. "The carriages I hired to take us to the barge will be here soon. Are you ready?"

"As ready as I can be." Michael sighed. "I had hoped that when the time came, I would be able to walk out of the house, but that's obviously impossible."

"All in good time. From what Dr. Kinlock said before he returned to London, within a few months you should be entirely recovered, barring some colorful new scars."

"He also said I must lie about doing nothing for weeks to come." Michael's fingers drummed on the coverlet. "Patience has never been my strong point."

"True, but don't worry about whether you can be still for that long," Nicholas said pleasantly. "If you try to push yourself too hard, I will nail you to the bed."

Michael smiled, knowing full well that his friend's words were not a joke. He would have a leisurely convalescence whether he wanted it or not.

A soft rap on the door heralded Catherine. "Nicholas, your carriages have arrived."

The earl glanced from her to Michael. "I'll go and supervise the baggage loading." Tactful as a cat, he left.

Catherine's hair was drawn back simply, emphasizing the fine bones of her face. Her cheekbones were more prominent than when they met. She had lost weight, much of it because of the work and worry he had caused.

Eyes not meeting his, she said, "I hate good-byes, but I suppose they're necessary."

"They make it clear when something is over," he agreed. "When are you and Amy leaving for Paris?"

"Tomorrow. The house will seem empty tonight with everyone gone." She drifted to a window and gazed out at the ramparts. "It's strange. You and I became good friends, yet much of that was a result of being in the same place at the same time."

Was that what she thought of the complicated, undefined feelings between them? "I would like to think we would be friends under any circumstances."

"I'm sure we would be." A pulse was beating hard in her throat. "Perhaps what I meant was that our paths would not have crossed if not for the war. Since you're selling out of the army, we probably won't meet again."

He was painfully aware of that fact. "If you and Colin should ever wish to tour Wales, you would be very welcome at Bryn Manor. You would enjoy Nicholas's wife, Clare."

"Nicholas is wonderful," she said with a quick smile. "He could charm the fish from the sea. What is his wife like?"

"Very down to earth. Clare was a village schoolmistress before her marriage. She says there is nothing like teaching thirty children to make one practical." He spoke almost at random, all of his attention on the lithe figure silhouetted against the window. Even though passion was beyond him at the moment, he knew the memory of Catherine's provocative curves would haunt him through sleepless nights the rest of his life.

One thing must be said before he left. "A simple thank-you seems inadequate when you saved my life several times over. I am deeply in your debt, Catherine."

"And you saved Colin and Charles."

"Lending a horse is hardly in the same category with what you did," he said dryly.

"All women are nurses when necessary," she said with an embarrassed shrug.

"Oh?" He held out his hand. Uncertainly she came forward and clasped it. He pushed her sleeve up with his free hand, revealing the small, not yet healed scar inside her elbow. "This is hardly normal nursing. Elspeth told me. Why didn't you?"

Her mouth curved ruefully. "I was ashamed of my presumption. Though the transfusion worked out well, it might easily have killed you."

"Instead, it saved my life," he said quietly. "You gave me your heart's blood. I will never receive a more precious gift."

"Given for selfish reasons." Shimmering tears made her aqua eyes enormous. She blinked them away. "I don't like my patients to die. It's bad for my saintly reputation."

His hand tightened on hers. "Catherine, if ever you need any kind of help, come to me. I will do anything in my power."

Her gaze shifted away. "Thank you. I'll remember that."

He raised their joined hands and kissed her fingertips, then released her. "See that you do."

"Good-bye, Michael. I'm very glad our paths crossed." She touched his cheek with gossamer lightness, then turned and left the room. She swayed gracefully, a sensual saint.

He wanted to call her back, to lock her in his arms so she could never escape. He wanted to plead with her to leave her husband and live with him no matter what the consequences. To prevent that, he clenched his teeth so hard that his jaw ached.

Perhaps he might have asked her to leave her husband if he had not once before urged a woman to do exactly that. He had already used his lifetime's supply of folly.

The door closed behind her. As he listened to her retreating footsteps, he felt the tightening of his lungs that heralded an asthma attack. Bands of fire constricted his breathing and the first tendrils of fear clawed into his muscles.

He lay back and forced himself to inhale and exhale very slowly. In and out, in and out, until the air was moving smoothly again. The scorching pressure and fear faded away.

Drained, he stared at the ceiling. It was the closest he had come to an asthma attack in years. Since Caroline had died.

He closed his eyes. He had done the right thing. Someday he would be proud of that, but now he felt only anguish.

Catherine was the most remarkable woman he had ever known. And he hoped to God that he would never see her again.