Silence

CHAPTER 33

PATCH DIDN’T BOTHER DIGGING A GRAVE FOR THE body. It was dark, an hour or two before sunrise, and he dragged it to the coast, just beyond Delphic’s gates, and with a nudge of his boot, rolled it off the cliffs and into the raging waves below.

“What will happen to him?” I asked, huddling into Patch for warmth. The icy winds ripped at my clothes, painting a layer of frost over my skin, but the real chill came from within, cutting bone deep.

“The tide will drag him out, and the sharks will have an easy meal.”

I shook my head to signify he’d misunderstood. “What will happen to his soul?” I couldn’t help but wonder if the things I’d said to Hank were true. Would he suffer every moment for the rest of time? I shook aside any remorse I felt. I hadn’t wanted to kill Hank, but in the end, he’d left me no choice.

Patch stayed silent, but I didn’t miss that he held me tighter, closing his arms protectively around me. He ran his hands briskly over my arms. “You’re freezing. Let me take you back to my place.”

I held my ground. “What happens now?” I whispered. “I killed Hank. I have to lead his men, but what will I do with them?”

“We’ll figure it out,” Patch said. “We’ll come up with a plan, and I’ll be by your side until we see it through.”

“Do you really believe it will be that easy?”

Patch made a short sound of amusement. “If I wanted easy, I’d chain myself in hell beside Rixon. The two of us could kick back and soak up the rays together.”

I gazed down at the waves, dashing themselves to pieces against the rocks. “When you made the deal with the archangels, weren’t they worried you’d talk? This can’t look good for them. All you’d have to do is spread rumors that devilcraft can be harnessed, and you’d incite a black-market feeding frenzy among Nephilim and fallen angels.”

“I swore an oath not to talk. That was part of the deal.”

“Could you have asked for anything in exchange for your silence?” I asked quietly.

Patch tensed, and I sensed he’d guessed the direction of my thoughts. “Does it matter?” he said blandly.

It did. Now that Hank was dead, the haze shrouding my memory was burning off like clouds under the sun. I couldn’t remember entire reels of memories, but pictures were there. Flashes and glimpses that grew stronger by the minute. Hank’s power, and control over me, was dying alongside him, leaving me wide open to remember everything Patch and I had struggled through together. The tests of betrayal, loyalty, trust. I knew what made him laugh, what set him off. I knew his deepest desire. I saw him so clearly. So breathtakingly clearly.

“Could you have asked them to make you human?”

I felt him exhale slowly, and when he spoke, there was a raw honesty in his voice. “The short answer to that question is yes. I could have.”

Tears blurred my vision. I was overcome by my own selfishness, even though rationally, I knew I hadn’t made Patch’s decision for him. Still. He’d made it because of me, and my guilt tossed and churned as stormily as the sea below.

Upon seeing my reaction, Patch made a sound of disagreement. “No, hear me out. The long answer to that question is that everything about me has changed since meeting you. What I wanted five months ago is different from what I want today. Did I want a human body? Yes, very much. Is it my top priority now? No.” He looked at me with serious eyes. “I gave up something I wanted for something I need. And I need you, Angel. More than I think you’ll ever know. You’re immortal now. And so am I. That’s something.”

“Patch—,” I began, shutting my eyes, my heart hanging from a thread.

His mouth brushed my earlobe, a searing flutter-weight pressure. “I love you.” His voice was straightforward, affectionate. “You make me remember who I used to be. You make me want to be that man again. Right now, holding you, I feel like we have a shot at beating all odds and making it together. I’m yours, if you’ll have me.”

Just like that, I forgot that I was thoroughly soaked, shivering, and poised to be the next leader of a Nephilim society I wanted nothing to do with. Patch loved me. Nothing else was important.

“Love you back,” I said.

He bowed his head into my throat, groaning softly. “I loved you long before you loved me. It’s the only thing I have you beat at, and I’ll bring it up every chance I get.” His mouth, pressed to my skin, took on a devilish curve. “Let’s get out of here. I’m taking you back to my place, this time for good. We have unfinished business, and I think it’s time we do something about it.”

I hesitated, one big question looming in my mind. Sex was a big deal. I wasn’t sure I was ready to complicate our relationship — or my life — that way, and that was only top on a long list of repercussions. If a fallen angel who slept with a human created a Nephil — a being that was never meant to inhabit Earth — what happened when a fallen angel slept with a Nephil? Based on what I’d seen of the icy relationship between angels and Nephilim, it probably hadn’t happened yet, but that only made me more leery of the consequences.

As much as I’d been content in the past to make the archangels out as the bad guys, a shred of doubt crept into my mind. Was there a reason angels weren’t supposed to fall in love with mortals, or in my case, a Nephil? An archaic rule meant to divide our races … or a safeguard against tampering with nature and destiny? Patch had once said the only reason the Nephilim race existed was because fallen angels sought revenge for being forced out of heaven. To get even with the archangels for banishing them, they’d seduced the very humans they had previously been charged to protect.

They’d gotten revenge all right. And stirred up an underground war that had been raging for centuries: fallen angels on one side, Nephilim on the other, and human pawns trapped in the middle. Even though it scared me to think it, Patch had promised it would end with the annihilation of an entire race. Which one was yet to be seen.

All because a fallen angel wandered into the wrong bed.

“Not yet,” I said.

Patch arched a dark eyebrow. “Not yet to leaving, or not yet to leaving with me?”

“I have questions.” I gave him a meaningful look.

A smile tugged at his mouth, but it didn’t mask a wavering note of uncertainty. “I should have known you’ve only been keeping me around for answers.”

“Well, that and your kisses. Anyone ever tell you you’re an incredible kisser?”

“The only person whose opinion I care about is right here.” He tipped my chin up to level our eyes. “We don’t have to go back to my place, Angel. I can take you home, if that’s what you want. Or, if you decide you want to sleep at my place, on opposite sides of my bedroom with a Do Not Cross line drawn down the middle, I’ll do it. I won’t like it, but I’ll do it.”

Touched by his sincerity, I hooked my finger under his shirt, trying to find the right gesture to show my appreciation. My knuckle brushed toned skin beneath, and desire shattered me. Why, oh why, did he make it so easy to feel too much, all sensation, blazing and devouring, and forget reason?

“If you haven’t guessed it already,” I said, something fervent and resonating slipping into my tone, “I need you, too.”

“Is that a yes?” he asked, pushing his fingers through my hair, fanning it out around my shoulders and searching my face intently. “Please let it be yes,” he said with a gravelly edge. “Stay with me tonight. Let me hold you, even if that’s all it is. Let me keep you safe.”

As my answer, I slipped my fingers between his, twining us together. I met his kiss with unrepentant boldness, greedy and reckless, feeling his touch loosen my joints, melting me in places I didn’t know existed. Breaking me down, one kiss at a time, reeling me further and further out of control, casting me into solid heat, dark and provocative, until there was only him, and only me. Until I didn’t know where I stopped and he began.