“You’re as happy as you make up
your mind to be.”
PHOEBE TRAEGER
For the third morning in a row, Chloe whipped the blanket off Tara. Maddie knew this because Tara’s distinct screech echoed in the small bedroom they’d been sharing in the cottage.
Where there was only one bed.
At least it was a queen-sized, and it’d been cold enough that they hadn’t minded being packed in like a litter of kittens. Well, they minded Chloe talking in her sleep, because it was usually things like “harder, Zach, harder,” which both Tara and Maddie could do without hearing.
Tara was still complaining about being woken up, her drawl thick and sweet as molasses. This was in direct opposition to the words she was saying, something about Chloe’s questionable heritage and the turnip truck she rode in on.
Cocooned in between the wall and a pillow, Maddie snickered and burrowed deeper into her own warmth. And then the blanket was rudely ripped off her, as well. “Goddammit!”
Looking disgustingly cheerful and put together in black, hip-hugging yoga pants and an eye-popping pink sports bra, Chloe smacked Maddie’s ass. “Get up.”
“Touch my ass,” Tara said, sitting up and pointing at her, “and die.”
Chloe grinned. “Two minutes.”
When she’d left the room, Tara gritted her teeth and rolled out of bed, wearing only a cami and boxers, looking annoyingly fabulous with her hair only slightly mussed. “I intensely dislike her.”
“You seem to intensely dislike a lot of people. Like Ford, for instance-who I didn’t realize you knew.”
Tara stiffened. “I don’t.”
“Your accent definitely thickens when you lie. You might want to work on that.”
Tara let out a long, shaky breath. “What do you think of him?”
“Ford?” She thought of him standing behind his bar, tall and sexy, that easy grin charming anyone in its path. “I like him. What’s going on, Tara?”
“Nothing.”
Maddie understood that sentiment. She had a lot of stuff that she didn’t want to talk about, either. She sat up in bed and patted her hair, knowing it resembled something from the wild animal kingdom. She sighed and staggered off the bed. By day, they’d been doing their own thing. She’d been going through the “office” in the marina, trying to make sense of the wacky accounting system-which seemed to be one step above a shoebox. Tara had been cleaning. Chloe couldn’t do either. She’d decided she was going to create a line of skin care products with the inn’s name and give away baskets to their customers when the time came. And when they sold the inn, she hoped the new owners would want the line.
It was a great idea, unique and perfectly suited for a small, cozy beachside inn-assuming they got customers.
When Chloe wasn’t working on that, she spent her time looking for trouble-and, given the two speeding tickets she’d already racked up, she’d found it.
At night, they ate as a family, which meant they fought. Maddie had discovered that it didn’t matter what subject they tackled. Tara and Chloe could argue about the sky being blue.
Mostly they fought over the inn. Tara wanted a commitment from her sisters to sell. Maddie wanted a commitment to give the place a fair shot. Chloe wanted… well, no one really knew. But one thing was certain, she still didn’t want to take sides.
So the tension mounted and manifested itself in stupid little disagreements. Like over yoga.
“Sixty seconds!” Chloe yelled from the living room.
Maddie tied back her hair. “Coming!”
“Liar!”
For being such a tiny thing, Chloe was a purebred pit bull. Maddie staggered to the living room, where Tara was already sitting obediently, legs crossed.
As they’d learned the hard way for three mornings running, Chloe took her yoga seriously. For the next forty-five minutes she chided, bossed, demanded, and bullied myriad poses out of them until Maddie was dripping sweat and barely standing on muscles that were quivering. “I need food,” Maddie gasped.
“Eat me?” Chloe asked.
“If I have to eat one more greased up, heart-attack-on-a-plate meal from that place,” Tara said from flat on her back, “I’m going to kill myself. I’m cooking.”
“Finally,” Chloe said with relief. “What took so long?”
“I don’t do it for people I don’t like.”
“But sugar, you don’t like anyone.”
Maddie shook her head at Chloe, then looked at Tara.
“It’s more that I’ve decided I don’t not like you,” Tara said.
Even flat on her back and sweaty, Tara exuded confidence. Maddie flopped down and sighed. She’d been working on her own confidence, but even faking it, it was still hard to go toe-to-toe with her sisters.
Half an hour later, Tara had food spread in front of her sisters that blew Maddie’s mind. Blueberry wheat pancakes, egg-white omelets, turkey bacon, and fresh orange juice.
“Not a river of grease in sight,” Tara said. “Chloe, stop wrinkling your brow or your face will stick like that.”
“I don’t like wheat pancakes-they taste like dirt.” But she took a bite, chewed, then shrugged. “Okay, never mind. These don’t taste like dirt.”
“I don’t give a flip,” Tara said, mixing up more batter.
“Well, flip this,” Chloe said and gave her oldest sister a middle finger.
“No, that’s what I call them-‘I Don’t Give a Flip’ Pancakes. I could make peace on earth with those pancakes.”
“You should really work on that self-esteem issue you have,” Chloe said dryly, gathering ingredients of her own into a bowl-almonds, jojoba oil. “Making a cracked-heel treatment today. Because Maddie’s feet need help.”
“Hey,” Maddie said.
“You keep rubbing those babies against my legs at night, and it hurts. And,” Chloe said, looking at Maddie’s plate and the way she’d carefully arranged her food, nothing touching, “you’re a freak.”
Maddie looked at her large plate of food and tried not to get defensive and failed. “I’m hungry. I just burned a million calories doing yoga.”
“The way you do it? Not quite. And I was talking about how you’re trying to keep your syrup off your eggs, not about how much food you have on your plate.”
“I don’t like my foods touching.”
“Like I said… freak.”
“Hey, I don’t mock you.”
“What’s to mock? I’m normal.” Chloe began whisking up the ingredients in her bowl for her balm, or whatever it was. “Oh, and I know I told you I was leaving tomorrow, but good news. I’m not leaving for two days, because my thing got pushed back.”
“Yay for us,” Tara said dryly.
Chloe ignored her. “First up is New Mexico, and then I’m thinking about going to meet a friend in Houston, who’s interested in buying some of my recipes.” With a sly look in Maddie’s direction, Chloe set down her whisk to turn to her plate, where she purposely mixed her eggs with her pancakes, smeared it all in syrup, then dipped a huge bite… into her orange juice. Watching Maddie squirm, she sucked it into her mouth, making “mmmmmm” noises.
Maddie couldn’t even watch. “You’re disgusting.”
Chloe just moaned in pleasure. “This is damn good food. Boggling really.”
“Why is it boggling that I cook well?” Tara asked in a tone that had the air around them going frosty.
“First off, you don’t cook ‘well,’ you cook amazing, and it’s boggling because I thought I was the only one who got Mom’s artistic streak. Not to mention that people who can cook are usually more outgoing and friendly than you are, and-”
“And,” Maddie said, quickly jumping in because she’d learned that was the best way to keep things from escalating, “you just don’t seem like the cooking type.”
Ignoring Maddie, Tara narrowed her eyes at Chloe. “Finish your sentence.”
“Are these blueberries fresh?” Maddie asked desperately. “Cuz they taste fresh.”
“You seriously think that you’re the only one who got anything from Mom?” Tara asked Chloe.
“I know I’m the only one who liked her.”
“You didn’t even know her, not really!”
“And the orange juice,” Maddie interjected into the very tense room. Her first instinct was to find a hole to crawl into. Her second was to grab her knitting, which she’d discovered was not only a sentimental escape, but was also a great relaxation technique. Better than chips. Problem was, she couldn’t look away from the impending train wreck. “The orange juice is amazing, Tara. How did you get out all the pulp?”
“I knew her better than you,” Chloe said to Tara. “At least I called her.”
“I called.” Tara’s voice was pure South, dripping with fury. “She screened me!”
“Well, maybe there was a reason.”
“Like what?”
“Like maybe because you’re controlling and anal and a b-”
Tara slammed her hands down on the counter.
Maddie nearly leapt out of her skin, and her elbow hit Chloe’s bowl of… whatever concoction she’d been making. The contents flew out, splattering across Tara’s face.
After a horrendous, thundering beat of silence, Tara scraped herself clean and glared at Chloe. “This is because I asked you to leave my house when you visited me for Easter last year.”
”Hey, it’s Maddie’s elbow that got you all covered in liquid, not me.”
“I didn’t mean to,” Maddie said, gaping at the goop dripping off Tara’s nose. Maddie had some of Chloe’s foot balm on her, as well, but she didn’t look at it because she had a burning question. “And how come I never got an Easter invite?”
“You were somewhere on a movie set, I think,” Tara said. “This year I’ll ask you instead of her, believe me.”
“And you didn’t ask me to leave,” Chloe said. “You kicked me out. Because your husband’s friend kissed me!”
Tara was holding a ladle full of pancake batter, and she pointed it violently in Chloe’s direction. “He was my friend, too. And you kissed him!”
Chloe jumped to her feet. “I knew you didn’t believe me!”
Tara tossed her plate into the sink with enough violence to splash soapy dishwater all over Maddie.
“Great!” Maddie said, pulling her shirt away from her skin with a suction sound.
“I’m done talking,” Tara informed them loftily, which was hard to pull off with some balm on her face, but she managed.
“Good tactic,” Chloe said. “Ignore all your problems-because that seems to be working out so well for you.”
Maddie stood up. Quiet strength, she told herself. Just project quiet strength, like… Julia Roberts in Erin Brockovich. Okay, so Erin wasn’t always quiet in her strength, and you know what? She didn’t have to be, either. So with a deep breath, Maddie said, “Shut up.”
Both sisters stared at her.
“We all know what we’re really tense about.”
The inn. How the final vote between the three of them would go. What would happen… With a sigh, she picked up her knitting instead of inhaling any more food and continued from where she’d left off last night. “In, wrap around,” she said to herself. “Pull out.”
“You know,” Chloe said, licking some batter off her thumb. “The way you knit always sounds a little dirty. I bet if you knitted in earshot of a guy, you’d get laid for sure.”
Tara was tossing breakfast dishes into the running sink, each harder than the last, if that was possible.
Chloe responded by cranking up her music via her iPod Touch parked in the dock on the counter. Hip-hop thumped out of the speakers. Tara hated hip-hop, and her head whipped around like the possessed victim in a horror flick.
“In, wrap around,” Maddie said, trying to find the calm. “Pull out-”
The back door opened, and all three of them swiveled to look as Jax filled the doorway. He looked like sin on a stick in faded Levi’s, a long-sleeved graphic Henley, and-there went her pulse-that damn tool belt slung low on his hips.
Izzy was at his side, alert and panting happily until she caught the tension in the room. With a soft whine, she sat on Jax’s foot. Jax set a hand on her head as his gaze went straight to Maddie. “Problem?” he asked over the booming bass.
Yep, Maddie thought, more reading his lips than actually hearing him. A big problem, actually. Because whenever she so much as looked at him, no matter what was going on around her, her body got all quivery. Some parts more than others.
“No problem, sugar,” Tara drawled, a polite smile on her face as she slapped the power button on the iPod dock, forcing a sudden quiet over all of them. “Blueberry pancakes?”
With a sound of disgust, Chloe pushed her way to the door. “They’re both nuts,” she warned Jax as she passed him. “Freaking nuts. I’m going for a ride.”
Giving up the pretense, Tara wiped her hands on a towel, her dignity somewhat ruined by the sole blueberry left in her hair. “Me, too. I need to get out.”
Maddie handed over her car keys.
“Thanks, sugar.” And then Tara was gone, too.
Still covered in a sticky, wet combo of batter and soapy water, Maddie remained seated, carefully holding her knitting so it didn’t get dirty. To her left, the water was still running in the sink, bubbles rising high. Jax came toward her in that easy, steady stride of his. The singular intent in his gaze had her faltering on the next knitting stitch, partly because she couldn’t look at him and knit at the same time. Much like how she couldn’t look at him and breathe, either.
Two big, warm hands pulled the large plastic needles and yarn out of her fingers and set them on the counter in the sole clean spot left in the whole kitchen. “Want to talk about it?”
Which-that her sisters were crazy, and she might be, too? Or that she’d been dreaming about him, nightly fantasies involving a lot of nakedness with all his good parts getting intimately acquainted with all her good parts?
“I… it’s… No,” she finally managed. “Not really.” She looked down at herself. “I need to take another shower.”
Grabbing a chair, he spun it around and straddled it directly in front of her. He gazed at the batter and water splattered on her, taking his time about it, too. “Ford and Sawyer are never going to forgive me for missing the girl-on-girl fight. Can I at least lie and say I saw a little of it? And that you guys were all wearing tiny tank tops and panties?”
A reluctant smile tore from her lips, and, given the warmth that filled his eyes at the sight of it, that’s what he’d meant to happen. “Guys are perverts,” she said.
“Mmm-hmm.” He was busy watching a glob of batter make its way down the curve of her right breast, disappearing down the front of her shirt.
Maddie swiped at it with a finger, but before she could wipe it on a napkin, Jax took her hand and, still holding eye contact, sucked it off her finger.
At the strong pull of his warm, wet tongue, she shivered.
“You taste good enough to eat,” he said, eyes darkening as he watched her nipples pebble against her T-shirt.
“Shower,” she said out loud, reminding herself. “I need to shower.”
His fingers sank into her hair, his thumb gliding softly along her jaw. “I’m good in the shower, Maddie.”
She shivered again, heat swamping her. “Do you always say everything that comes to your mind, no holding back?”
“Usually, but I’m holding back right now.”
“You are?”
He nodded with eyes so hot they scorched her skin. “If I told you what I was thinking,” he said, voice low and seductive. “You’d probably run for the hills.”
She shuddered again. Strength… “Tell me anyway.”
“Maddie-”
“Tell me.”
Leaning on the back of his chair, he was so close now that when he spoke, his lips lightly brushed hers with every word. “I want to put my hands all over you. I want to…”
Her breath caught, and she felt herself go damp. “What?”
“Touch. Kiss. Lick. Nibble. And then-”
At that moment, the sink-still running-finally overfilled, and water splashed to the floor. Jumping up, she cracked her head on Jax’s chin. Staggering back, she held her head. “Ouch!”
Jax shut off the faucet. His boots squeaked in the water on the floor as he turned back to her, a red spot already blooming on his chin.
Staring at the spot in horror, she took a step backward out of sheer instinct. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry-are you okay?”
“Your head isn’t that hard.” Calmly, he crossed the room to her, not allowing space between them. “You have two choices.” His tone was light and easy, his hands going to her hips to gently squeeze. “You can kiss it better, or you can go take your shower.”
It was as if her body took over the decision-making process from her brain, because she went up on tiptoes and pressed her lips to the spot she’d hit. He had a little stubble going, just enough to feel deliciously male beneath her lips, and she slowly inhaled against him, breathing him in.
A low groan rumbled from his chest, and his hands tightened on her, just as Tara walked back in.
She took a moment to glare at Jax, who held her gaze with an even look of his own.
“Sugar,” she finally said to Maddie, grabbing the jacket she’d forgotten off the hook by the back door. “You can either fuck him or hire him, but you shouldn’t do both. That’s the advanced class, and you’re not ready.” She walked back out, and a minute later they heard the car start up.
Maddie let out a long, shaky breath. Tara was usually the voice of reason, but this decision was not majority rules. This decision was hers alone.
Jax was still in her space, quiet, watchful.
Sexy as hell.
Patient.
He wanted her. His body was tight with the wanting, but it was her decision.
Alex had made all the decisions. Maybe not in the beginning, but somewhere along the way with him she’d lost herself. She’d let it happen. That was another thing that was going to change. If she wanted something, she was going to get it. If she wanted someone, she was going to take him.
She wanted Jax. She wanted the oblivion, she wanted to feel good, she wanted…
To be wanted. And a little bit of ravishing and cherishing would be good. Love would be better, but as Tara had noted, she wasn’t ready for that. She was, however, ready for this, this one time. And even if she wasn’t, it didn’t matter. She wanted him.
Grabbing his hand, she pulled him with her out of the kitchen. Allowing it, he brushed his big, hard body up against her back.
In the small bathroom, she dug through Chloe’s bathroom bag on the counter and came up with a condom, which she handed to Jax, who hit the lock on the door.
She started the shower, then reached for the hem of her shirt. He took over, slowly pulling it off, tossing it to the floor. Then he repeated the gesture with his own shirt.
She found the tattoos, which made her weak in the knees. A tribal band around a biceps, another down one side from the top of his ribs to his oblique muscle.
She wanted to lick them.
“Maddie.”
She couldn’t stop staring at him, all hard and warm and delineated with strength. “I don’t want to talk,” she said.
Amusement crowded for space with the hunger in his gaze. “What do you want?”
“You. Now. Fast. Maybe hard, too.”
“You got me. But not fast, not hard.” He ran a long finger over the front hook of her bra. “Not our first time.”
“Our only time,” she corrected.
“Hmm,” he murmured noncommittally, and with a flick of his wrist, her bra fell to the floor. He covered her mouth with his and unbuttoned her jeans, slowly sliding them to the floor.
“Christ, Maddie. Look at you. You take my breath away.” His dark gaze took her in and got darker as he kicked off his boots and shucked his clothes, revealing the rest of his mouthwatering body in its entirety, including the part of him she wanted inside her, yesterday.
Leaning past her, he checked the temperature of the water while she checked out his perfect ass. As usual, he caught her at it and sent her a heated smile that dissolved her bones as he tugged her into the shower with him. In contrast to the hot water, his hands were still a little chilly from being outside, giving her a zing when he slid them up to cup her breasts.
Her eyes drifted shut and her other senses took over. His body was unyielding, strong, rippling with power against hers. He was hard, and huge.
It should have made her nervous. Instead, it turned her on, and she pressed closer, wrenching an appreciative male growl from him.
“Be sure, Maddie.”
She opened her eyes. The steam from the shower was fogging the tiny bathroom, making it hot and humid. “If you even think about stopping now, I’m going to have to hurt you.”
He stared down at her for a beat, then murmured her name before kissing her, slow and deep. She’d never felt more aroused, more wanted, and it made her tremble.
Jax pulled back, his hands threading into her hair, holding her gaze. She had no idea what he was looking for, but something in her expression must have reassured him, because he brought his mouth back to hers, his tongue flicking out over her bottom lip. His hands slid down her body, cupping her bottom, lifting her to grind his hips to hers. He was hard and thick against her, straining between them. Pushing her back further into the shower, he kissed his way over her, starting with her throat and working his way down. He had a nipple in his mouth, sucking it hard between his tongue and the roof of his mouth when she reached down and wrapped her hand around his hard, pulsing length. When she stroked him, he groaned and covered her hand with his, moving with her, showing her what he liked, until suddenly he stopped her.
“You don’t like that?” she asked.
“I love that.” His voice was hoarse, unsteady. “But it’s been too long.” With the water washing over their bodies, he nibbled at her neck, cupping a breast, rasping his thumb over her nipple, none of which deterred his free hand from slipping between her thighs. When he felt how ready she was, he dropped his forehead to hers and said her name in a jagged whisper.
She clutched at him. “Now, Jax. Please, now.”
His finger was tracing over her, stroking, teasing. “I love how wet you are,” he murmured against her ear, sucking the lobe into his mouth as he slid a finger inside her.
With a strangled cry, she rocked to him. “It means I’m ready.”
He brushed his lips against hers. “Just making sure.”
“I’m sure!”
He added another finger, gliding deep while brushing his thumb over her in just the right rhythm until she came with a rush. While she was still shuddering, he rolled on the condom and slid inside of her with a single, sure push of his hips.
She gasped, arching helplessly as it extended her orgasm. When she could open her eyes, she blinked him into focus. His eyes were solid black and locked on hers, intense and fierce. As he began to move within her, she felt the tile at her back, warm from both her own body heat and the hot water pulsing down over them. His strokes were strong and steady and sent her spiraling. He came with her, the both of them rocking together, gasping for breath. Unable to stand, they slid to the shower floor, still entwined.
Completely spent, Maddie dropped her head to his chest, managing a smile when he drew her in against him with a wordless protective murmur, pressing his face in her hair. At the tender touch, something came over her, something new. It was both warm and wonderful.
And terrifying. Because he’d given her just what she wanted.
Only she already wanted more.