Siren in Bloom

Chapter Fifteen

Leo stared out of the window. The sun was starting to go down. It had been a ridiculously long day, and it wasn’t over yet. He felt old and tired. Seeing those photos of Ada had brought back guilt and horror. Realizing Ben had been in love with her had opened up a whole new door of regret.

And then Shelley had proven that nothing had changed.

She’d run again. And his first thought had been to run himself. He’d thought about letting Wolf deal with her.

“You still with me, Doc?”

He shook his head and looked back at Logan. “I’m sorry. I drifted away a little.”

The deputy’s shoulders moved up and down in a negligent shrug. “It’s not a problem. Look, I really don’t think I need this. I’m not saying anything bad about therapy, but I actually feel fine. I feel better than I have in over a year. When Trev’s sister ran earlier and you had me guarding the exit, I wasn’t even thinking about killing anyone. I was absolutely just going to incapacitate the bad guys, and I wasn’t even going to enjoy it. I think I’m good.”

Leo sighed and turned back to the young man. They had spent the last hour talking about his youth. He’d had a rough start in life, but he’d been a baby. Logan understood on a logical level that his father had been abusive and his mother had run away. He’d read the police reports on how his mother’s friend had been forced to kill his father when the man had tried to kill Logan’s mother and take him away. It was a horror story, but Logan had been nine months old at the time. When he talked about his childhood, Logan’s face lit up. Leo had listened to Logan’s numerous happy childhood stories about growing up in Bliss with his moms and his friends.

Leo had found himself slightly jealous. He’d grown up one town away, but it had been different. His mother was odd, and she hadn’t been accepted as easily as Logan’s moms had been. Until Cassidy Meyer had met a man named Mel who lived in Bliss, she’d been alone and raising two boys.

And yet his own childhood had been good. Despite the fact that he’d wanted to see the world, he remembered being loved. He remembered good times with his brother, running through the forests, feeling free.

When had he lost that? And how did he get it back?

“I just needed to get out of Bliss,” Logan said with a long sigh.

Leo turned to him, staring at the young man, his attention finally pulled from his reverie. “You said you loved Bliss. And yet you believe you would be happy not going back?”

Logan sat back. “Well, I guess it’s time for me to leave home. Not everyone stays in their hometown.”

No. Not everyone stayed in their hometown. And sometimes they could check out even when they stayed in one place. Leo had checked out the year before. He’d drawn in on himself after Shelley had turned him down.

He really was a pussy. One rejection from the woman he loved and he’d walked away.

Because he’d been walking away for a very long time. Because deep down, he was worried he would leave the woman he loved alone like his mother had been. Like he and Wolf had been. Because he’d never gotten over his guilt concerning Ada’s death. Because he’d married a woman he hadn’t loved and failed her in so many ways.

Fuck. Goddamn it to hell. He was twelve kinds of screwed up.

And yet he knew what to say to Logan. “You’re telling me you’re willing to give up your home rather than working through the problem?”

Was he willing to give up Shelley, his chance at a family, because it was more comfortable to not face his own issues? And Wolf. If he turned away from the gift his brother was trying to give him, he doubted he would ever really get close to Wolf again. Wolf wouldn’t turn his back, but he would close off that piece of himself that had deep down longed for this kind of family. Leo had no illusions. Wolf would take Shelley, and he would do his best to make her happy. Wolf would give her his all. His brother was tenacious. Wolf might worry about his place in the world, but Leo thought he might have already found it. Wolf would be Shelley’s husband, her loving Master, her best friend.

And he was willing to make a place for Leo if only Leo was brave enough to take it.

Logan’s face had gone grave. “I can visit. Just not for a while.”

“Logan, you have a job, friends, family back in Bliss.”

“I can make new friends.” He shook off his gloom and pasted a sunny smile on his face. “Now that I think about it, it’s a good thing. I have a friend in New York who I can go see.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Distancing himself wouldn’t make the problem go away.

Logan stood, pacing a bit. “Doc, I appreciate everything you’re trying to do for me, but I’m fine. I feel better, like a weight has been lifted. I’ll stay for a week or so if that’s okay, but then I’ll make arrangements to get out of your hair. You can help someone who really needs it.”

Leo kept his mouth closed. He was starting to see through the deputy. Perhaps because the deputy had shown him so much of himself.

Logan Green was scared. Angry, perhaps. He was stuck in a corner, but he’d decided he could pretend that corner was the world.

Leo could tell him just where that would end. It would end in loneliness and broken promises. He’d promised so much to himself and his family and allowed fear and pain to lead him to a place where no one could touch him. If he continued down this path, Logan could smile and joke and laugh. He could even feel for his friends. He could give to the people around him. And he would have nothing for himself.

“Perhaps you’ll change your mind. Come to the dungeon tonight. Continue the BDSM training. We don’t have to have sessions like this.” Of course, the BDSM training was just another session, but most of his patients didn’t see it that way. He’d gotten very good at being sneaky.

Logan stood. He shook his lanky body as though he’d expected more of a fight, but was happy to have gotten off easily. “Sure, Doc. I have to admit, I’m intrigued by the whole Dom thing. I don’t mind that part.”

Then that was where Leo would attack. Most therapists would smack him for putting it that way, but he’d spent enough time in the military that violent metaphors were definitely in his repertoire. And so was subterfuge. With Trev McNamara, he’d used sports and working out to get him talking. Logan would take something different.

Logan walked out, promising to see Leo in the dungeon that night, and Leo was left alone again.

He tried to breathe, lowering himself to the floor, legs folded. He placed an open palm on each knee and allowed his breath to become very deliberate. He tried to release his issues, to allow his mind to become a peaceful blank. When his mind was empty, perhaps he would find some peace.

When he found some peace, perhaps he would find some clarity.

Could he share with his brother? Long term?

He let the question flow out of his mind. He needed a blank mind. He needed peace.

A vision of Shelley, her brown eyes filled with need, her mouth open and gasping out the pleasure he brought her, assaulted him.

Damn it. He couldn’t stop thinking about it.

It teased at the edge of his consciousness. Shelley in his arms. Shelley with his collar around her throat and his ring on her finger. Shelley in his bed every night.

And Wolf.

It wasn’t how he’d envisioned his life.

There was a knock on his door. Thank god.

Leo got up from his place and called out. “Come in.”

Wolf opened the door. “Got a minute, brother?”

Leo nodded. He was actually getting used to Wolf walking in at any given time. And he rather liked being called “brother.” And he definitely liked what Wolf hauled in after him. Shelley held his brother’s hand. She’d been released from her bindings, but her eyes were submissively on the floor as Wolf led her in.

“I need to go out for a while and pick up a few things for tonight.” Wolf brought Shelley into the office. He kissed the top of her head and settled her onto the sofa. “You be good or I can put that plug back in, and I will be overly generous with the lube.”

She shuddered a little. “That’s not very nice, Wolf.”

His brother winked down. “That’s why I’m the Dom, baby. And your punishment isn’t over, yet. Wait ’til you see what I have for you tonight.”

“I don’t know if I want to,” she admitted.

Wolf touched his nose to hers in a sweetly affectionate gesture. “Trust me, baby.”

She nodded, their connection evident. How had his brother managed that in so short an amount of time? Leo could remember the first time he’d seen her. She’d been sitting next to her mother’s hospital bed. She’d been tired and haggard and so damn beautiful his heart had skipped a beat.

But he’d held back. Even before he’d known she was married. Wolf had just jumped in with both feet.

“Can you watch her while I’m out?” Wolf asked, his face open.

Shelley rolled her eyes, brattiness in her every move. “Wolf, I told you, I won’t go anywhere. I’ll sit and watch Kitten. Even though it’s weird. She’s still tied up. Chase is hauling her around like a piece of luggage. He just sets her at his feet wherever he goes, and every now and then, he’ll take the ball gag out of her mouth and pass her some Skittles. But like I should talk. I spent most of the day with ginger up my rectum.”

“Poor baby,” Wolf said, and then his voice got hard. “Are you going to take out my plug again?”

“No.” The word was sweet, but those lips told a different tale. They were bratty and pouty.

“You’re going to kill me, baby. Now, mind Leo. I’ll be back, and I’ll bring you some food. We’re all going to need some energy for later. Well, me and Leo will. You’ll just have to lie there and maybe whimper a little. I’m totally looking forward to it.” Wolf got all the way to the door before looking back. “You okay with watching her? I don’t want to disrupt any, like, patient stuff you have.”

“My patient list is growing smaller by the day,” Leo admitted. “Your friend has decided to leave my care.”

Wolf’s face fell. “Damn it. He’s wrong. Whatever he’s thinking, he’s wrong. I know he thinks he’s better, but it’s right there under the surface.”

An idea played on the edges of his brain. He needed to draw Logan out. He’d read his file a million times. He thought he was fine having left Bliss? How would he handle being confronted by his fears? “I’ll try, Wolf.”

It surprised Leo that he was going to try for more reasons than simple professional pride. He would try because Wolf wanted him to. He would try because he wanted to help Wolf’s friend.

“Thanks,” Wolf said, and then a slow smile crossed his face. “So, take care of our girl. And if you can think of a way to occupy her time, you should go for it. She’s actually been quite good since the incident. Be back in an hour or so.”

The door closed, and he was left alone with the only woman he’d ever really loved. And his brother had just given him permission to fuck her. Damn him.

Shelley stood up. “Look, Wolf is paranoid. I’m fine. I’ll just go up to the condo and wait for him there. You don’t need to babysit me.”

“Sit down.”

Apparently he’d put enough force into his voice that Shelley obeyed.

“Do you believe me to be easier to deal with than my brother? What have you been smoking, baby?” Wolf was practically a pansy compared to him. At least when it came to being a hard-ass with a sub.

“I believe you to be busy. Busy enough that you don’t need some chick hanging out in your office.”

“It’s Saturday. Despite the earlier chaos, I really didn’t have many plans.” He’d planned to watch some football with Ben and Chase before the evening’s play. He’d planned to walk his new charge through a few scenes. He hadn’t planned to spend the whole day thinking about Shelley McNamara.

Hell, he hadn’t planned it, but he would have done it anyway. And now he had her all alone for an hour.

“Tell me why you married Bryce.”

Her eyes widened. “What?”

He sat back, trying to look like the pro he was, but there was nothing professional about his curiosity. “Tell me about your marriage. I never asked before. I’d like to know now.”

She sat up, her hands in her lap. “Why?”

One little question. One big minefield. He could shrug and reply that he was curious. Or he could be as honest with her as he wanted her to be with him. “Because I’ve asked myself the question every day since the day I found out you were married. Because there’s a hole inside me that I can’t fill until I understand.”

Shelley was silent for a moment, but then began to speak, her voice steady but quiet. “My mother worked for him. Briefly, but long enough. After Trev moved out, we had to sell the ranch, but the market was bad, and the ranch hadn’t paid in a long time. We’d taken out a second mortgage a couple of years before my father died.” She turned toward the window. Her hands turned into fists, her voice shaking a bit.

He couldn’t take it. He got out of his chair and sat down beside her. He pulled her into his lap. She was stiff for a moment, but then she sighed, and her body sagged into his.

He felt the deep connection immediately, his own body relaxing. This was where he wanted to be. “It’s okay. Just tell me the story.”

She was quiet for a moment. “Bryce came into town a few years after I finished college. We still had a little money then. Trev would send us some. It would be huge checks when he was sober enough to think about it. He got me through college before the money dried up. But we still had bills. Mom had fought off cancer while I was in school. She seemed healthy, and she got the job as Bryce’s office manager. He asked me out a few times, but I said no. I was going to move to Houston. I had a friend there, and we were going to set up an interior design business. I didn’t want to get involved with any man.”

Leo felt his stomach turn. This wasn’t going to go well. He knew for a fact that once she’d returned to Deer Run, she hadn’t left it again until she’d moved to Dallas. “Why didn’t you go?”

She sniffled. “You have to promise me you won’t ever tell Trev. I told him this was all my fault. I didn’t want him to feel guilty about this so I lied. Trev has enough guilt and mom is gone now so it seemed the kindest thing to do.”

Trev’s guilt could fill a lake. Leo could understand why Shelley would protect her brother. “I won’t ever say a word, sweetheart.”

She nodded and continued her story. “My mom was accused of stealing some money. Quite a bit actually. She was going to be fired and prosecuted. Bryce gave me one way out.”

God, if Bryce Hughes had been standing in front of him, Leo would have choked the life out of him. “Shelley, you have to know that Trev could have hired a lawyer.”

“Did I? I could barely get him on the phone at that point in time. He was so far gone. He’d stopped sending money. He needed it for drugs and those parties he would throw. God, Leo, you can’t ever tell him this story. Let him think I was a wide-eyed idiot. He can’t know. It would kill him.”

She sounded panicked. Leo forced her head back down on his shoulder. He stroked her hair until she calmed down. “There’s no need to tell Trev anything. It would just hurt him at this point.”

She’d tried to protect her mother. She was still protecting Trev. His heart hurt. No one had protected her. Not even him. Jack had been right. If he’d been the man he claimed to be, he wouldn’t have left. He would have watched over her from afar if he needed to.

“I married Bryce. I think he thought having a connection to Trev would help him. At the time, I thought he just wanted to be able to put Trev’s face on his billboards, but now I think he believed that Trev could help him make connections so he could become, I don’t know, drug dealer to the stars or something. You can imagine that he was deeply upset when Trev walked away from football. But even though he was mad about Trev, Bryce was okay with me. In the beginning I actually thought it might work out. He seemed to genuinely care about me. He helped me set up my business. He helped get me clients. He told everyone how smart and talented I was. Of course, he had his reasons for doing that.”

“Was he violent?” He wasn’t sure he could handle it if she’d been brutalized. Guilt was gnawing at him. He’d left her.

She shook her head. “He hit me, but it was only once, and it was right before he died. I walked out after that. He threatened to kill you if I left with you. I told him I would come home and be a good girl, but I didn’t. I talked to Trev after you left, and he wouldn’t let me go home.”

At least Trev had some sense. Leo had left her alone. He’d known Bryce was bad for her, but he’d left her alone. The very day he’d driven away from her had been the day Bryce’s crimes had come to light. She, her sister-in-law, and Bo O’Malley had been taken hostage by a man Bryce owed drugs to. She’d barely survived, and she’d been forced to watch as Bryce was killed. “You were in that house with a gun to your head while I was driving back to Dallas like a toddler who’d had a fit.”

She sighed, seemingly more relaxed after she’d told him the worst of it. At least he hoped that had been the worst. “I made it through, Leo. I had nightmares. Sometimes I still do, but I didn’t believe for one second that I was really going to die.”

“Really?”

“No. The drug cartel guy assured me that he was taking me with him because I would make an excellent addition to a brothel.”

“What?” He fairly screamed the word, the picture assaulting his mind.

She put a hand over his. “Stop. It’s over, and I’m fine. I survived. I knew I would.”

He’d dealt with so many people with PTSD. How was she so calm? It seemed like he had been more traumatized than she’d been. “Why? How did you know you would survive? Did you just have that much faith in the universe?”

“No, I had faith in you.”

He stilled and then forced himself to move. He gently pushed her off and brought her chin up so she looked him in the eyes. She’d been crying, crystal tears streaming down her face. “I walked away.”

“And when you found out I was gone? Would you have looked for me? I thought so then. I knew it deep in my heart.” Her eyes turned down. “I was sure of it at the time. I probably wouldn’t be now.”

He needed to make one thing plain to her. “I would have moved heaven and earth to find you.”

She nodded, but he could see she didn’t really believe. “Because you’re a good man. Leo, I have something I want to say to you. I want to thank you. I know I screwed everything up, but you can’t imagine what you’ve meant to me. You saved Trev. He would be dead if you hadn’t taken him in hand. I believe that deep in my soul. My brother would be in the ground. When my mother died, she believed he was changing because of the things you said to her. My mother died a peaceful death because of you. And me. God, Leo, I can’t tell you what you’ve meant to me. You were the dream I had for so many years and then, when you tried to get me to go away with you, then you were this beautiful reality. I know I ruined it, but I think about that moment every day. I think that if I could change one thing in my life, it would be to take your hand and walk away.”

“Shelley,” he began, his heart aching.

She put a single finger to his lips, silencing him. “Don’t. I want to have my say, just once and then never again. I love you. I love the man you are. I love the funny, stalwart, infinitely compassionate man who lives deep inside you, and I am begging for that man to come back to life. I know I should be the bigger person and walk away and let you find someone else to make you happy, but damn it, I’m the one, Leo. I’m the one for you and I’m the one for Wolf, and that’s the way it is. I will screw up. I’ll do it a lot, and you know what, I’ll happily let you beat my ass when I do. But I won’t let you walk away, and I won’t let you go into your shell. I screwed up. Mea culpa, but I’m done with hiding in a corner and loving you from afar. You can tell me no, but I’ll just say this over and over again. I love you. I love you. You can send me off, but I’m keeping your brother, and you’re going to have to watch us, and every time I feel your eyes on me, I’ll say I love you. So you better get ready, Leo.”

He had the choice. He could embrace the future and try or he could fight it. Why would he fight it? Yes, he was afraid he couldn’t share her long term. Yes, he was terrified it would all end the way it had with Janine. He was worried that he would screw up somehow, someway and leave her alone.

He stared at her. “I don’t know if I really want kids.”

She stared right back. “You don’t like them?”

“I don’t know how good I’ll be at raising them.” He hadn’t had a dad. He’d only known how wonderful and loving and alone his mother had been. Life was so fragile. He would never leave his children, but anything could happen.

“You’ll be amazing.”

“Shelley, are you listening to me?”

“I think I’m done listening to you, Leo. When you can say something to me that doesn’t have its roots in some fear, then I’ll listen. You’re the big, bad Dom, but your sub is laying out some rules of her own. I love you. I want to have your kids. I can’t promise you that everything will work out. I can pretty much promise you that it won’t. What I can promise is that I’ll love you through all of it. I’ll love you for the rest of my life and through whatever comes after. That’s the only sure thing here. It’s either enough for you or it isn’t.”

Forever. He wasn’t sure if he believed in it, but she did. She believed with all her heart, and she was offering it to him.

“I don’t know if I can share you long term. What are we going to do about Wolf?” He was a possessive man. He knew it, and yet somehow it had felt right to share her with Wolf the night before as though she was more woman than either could handle. She was a woman with a huge heart who deserved as much love as she could take.

“What was that?” Shelley asked, turning toward the door. She stared for a moment and then shook her head. “I thought I heard something. I’m paranoid now.”

She had every right to be. “We’re safe here, Shelley.” His cock was aching. God, he wanted her.

She straddled him, her curvy body positioned over his. His cock jumped. If he’d stripped her down, he would have been able to play with her pussy. “You asked what to do about Wolf.”

He flushed. It was an excuse, and he hated that he kept making them. “He’s huge, baby. Seriously. I don’t know what’s wrong with him. I think it’s the amount of beets he ate as a small child. We need a bigger bed.”

Chocolate brown eyes rolled. “Bigger bed, check. I’m glad you said that. And about the sharing long term thing…I know you’re worried, but don’t be because you can do it. I have faith.”

Bossy, bratty little thing. He put his hands on that ass he firmly intended to get his dick in very soon. Not now. Wolf should be around to hear her squeals and watch her squirm the first time her little asshole got invaded by one of her Masters’ cocks. “You’ve been laying down a lot of rules, pet. I think it’s about time to get this relationship on the right footing. You have a choice. You get those clothes off now or I can rip them off you.”

Her lips curved up in that oh-so-sultry smile that made his heart skip like some fucking fifteen-year-old kid with his first crush. “What is it with you Meyer men? Yesterday Wolf cut me out of my undies.”

Yeah, his brother was good with a knife. “If I know my brother, you’re no longer allowed to wear undies. Get up, pet. Take those clothes off and understand that if you’ve disobeyed Wolf, I’ll take it out on your sweet ass. You want two Masters? You better get ready, Shelley, because we won’t let you play us off each other.”

She pouted sweetly. “Why does everyone believe the worst of me?” She shrugged out of her shirt and bra. Her nipples were already puckered, just begging for him to bite and lick them. She pushed at the waist of her jeans. “And I’m a deeply obedient girl.”

Leo snorted. “And I believe in unicorns.”

Her voice got husky as she dragged the denim down to her thighs. “I’m obedient when it comes to this.”

Fuck. There it was. Her pussy all perfectly shaved and ripe. “Stop right there. Turn.”

Her eyes flared. Finally she was just the slightest bit nervous. She’d called the shots up until now. Every goddamn one of them. It was way past time for him to take his place as her Master. “Okay.”

“Hush, pet. From now on, the only words I want to hear from those lips are ‘yes, Leo,’ and all the pleas that you can think of to make me stop torturing you.” He pushed gently at her spine, leaning her forward. “Grab your ankles.”

“Leo, why don’t you let me get out of these jeans?”

He smacked her ass in a short, sharp arc. Shelley squealed, but her hands were on her ankles, her breath already ragged. “Those jeans are right where I want them. They’re holding your legs together as well as any rope. Now hold on to your ankles. I want to inspect my pussy.”

“God, Leo.” She groaned the words.

He slapped her ass again. “You aren’t listening to me.”

“Yes, Leo,” she corrected herself quickly. She held fast to her ankles, finally getting into the position Leo wanted her in.

Her ass was in the air, her cheeks already turning a lovely pink. And her pussy pouted out from between her legs, a pink, juicy flower in bloom. He could smell her arousal. Pearly dew coated the petals of her pussy. Leo ran a finger through her labia, coating his skin with her arousal. “Do you feel vulnerable like this, baby?”

“Yes, Leo.” The words were shaky with not a drop of her previous confidence. He loved her faith in herself and in him. He loved the fact that she’d been strong enough to stand up to him. In some ways, she was even stronger than him. But he wanted her off-kilter here. He wanted her soft and submissive here. She would get her way in their normal life, but here he was the Master.

“Good, because we have a few things to work out. You’ll be punished tonight. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Leo. You and Master Wolf are going to punish me because I ran.”

“Because you almost took something precious from us,” Leo explained, running his hand over her ass, loving the way she trembled. “Do you understand what you almost took?”

“Trust,” she said. “I broke trust.”

A good answer, but not the one he wanted. “No, Shelley. It was you. Trust doesn’t mean shit to me if you’re dead. Trust is meaningless to Wolf if you’re not here for him to hold. You’re the important thing. And it is utterly unacceptable for you to put yourself in the line of fire.”

He slapped at her ass. Five quick, easy smacks. He had to save up the rough stuff for later, when his brother was here to help. “This is a warm-up, Shelley. Tonight, you’re going to feel my crop on your ass.”

And tonight, he would lay aside the past and finally look toward the future.