Southern Lights

Chapter 5

The rest of January flew by, and Alexa was swamped at the office. They got a match on Quentin on five victims in Pennsylvania, and one they hadn’t even known about in Kentucky. With the women in Iowa and Illinois, they had thirteen rape and murder victims now. The charges were incorporated into their case, by agreement with the other states, and it was in the press all over the country.

Alexa had made a brief statement to the media, but otherwise declined to comment. She didn’t want to do or say anything wrong. The case was just too important. And there were at least a dozen more victims in question, in a variety of states where he had traveled. It had turned into a national story, and Alexa was constantly meeting with detectives from other states. Jack was gathering information, and Alexa was already busy preparing for the trial. Finally, in early February, Alexa had time for a quiet dinner with her mother after work.

“You look tired,” her mother said, looking worried.

“It’s going to get worse before it gets better. I only have three months till the trial.” She was up till three in the morning every night, reading case law and making notes.

“Well, just don’t wear yourself out totally. How’s Savannah? Has she heard anything from the schools yet?”

“Not till March or April,” Alexa answered with a sigh. “She’s going skiing with her father next week. If he shows up. Most of the time, he flakes on her. He’ll probably do it again,” Alexa said with a look of irritation. She hated his disappointing Savannah, who always forgave him. It was enough that he had hurt her.

“Maybe he won’t flake this time,” Muriel said quietly. “I hope not.”

“Why?” Alexa asked, looking exasperated. She hated her ex-husband, everything he stood for, and everything he’d done to them. He had banished them from his life, out of weakness. It had been easier for him to give in to his mother and ex-wife than to stand by them. She loathed the worm he had turned out to be. “Why do you hope he won’t flake?” Alexa asked, suddenly angry at her mother.

“Because it’s good for her to see her father, at least once in a while. She loves him. You may hate him, and I understand that, I don’t like him either, for what he did to you. But he’s still her father, Allie. Better the reality, with all its flaws and frailties, than a fantasy she makes of him.” Alexa smiled at what her mother said. She hadn’t called her “Allie” in years. But Alexa was still a child to her, just as Savannah always would be to Alexa and still was now.

“Maybe you’re right,” Alexa said, backing down. “But I grew up without a father. It didn’t kill me. And Tom is such a jerk.”

“She’ll figure that out for herself. Give her time.”

“I think she already knows it but loves him anyway.”

“Give her that. She needs it. For now at least.”

“It always upsets her that I won’t see him. I haven’t seen him in ten years and hope I never do again.”

“Is he coming to her graduation in June?”

“I asked her not to invite him,” Alexa said guiltily. “She said she’s giving me four years’ notice, and she wants him at her college graduation.” Alexa smiled ruefully at her mother. “I guess I have no choice. She’s a good sport about it, and I try not to say too much, but she knows how I feel about him. It’s no secret between us.”

“You need to get over it,” her mother said quietly, and Alexa looked at her in surprise.

“Why? What difference does it make if I hate him?”

“Because it poisons you. And you’ll never have a decent relationship with another man if you don’t put it behind you and stop hating him.”

Alexa’s jaw looked set in stone. “Check back with me in thirty or forty years. Maybe I’ll have Alzheimer’s by then.” Her mother made no further comment, and Alexa went home to Savannah, who was lying on her bed and watching TV.

“How was Grandma?” she asked, looking sleepy. She had finished all her homework and had spent a quiet evening alone.

“Fine. She sends you her love.”

Alexa went to hang her coat up in the hall closet, and saw the envelope sticking under the door. She hadn’t seen it when she walked in. She picked it up cautiously by a corner. It was the same childlike handwriting as before. She didn’t say anything to Savannah, and opened it after she put on a pair of rubber gloves she kept in a drawer. It said “I know where you are every minute of the day. Look around. You can’t see me. You’re a beautiful girl.” There was no overt threat in it, but whoever had written it wanted her to know that she was being watched, and by a man who was lusting after her. Alexa was scared, terrified in fact, as she put the letter in a plastic bag, just as she had done before.

She didn’t say a word about it, but walked into her bedroom and closed the door. She called Jack on his cell phone, he answered immediately, and she told him about the letter. Alexa was holding it carefully in the plastic bag.

“I don’t even know if it’s real. It may just be someone trying to be cute, or scaring her. But if some guy is following her, I don’t like this at all.” There was a long silence at Jack’s end, and he finally admitted he didn’t either.

“Why don’t I give you a cop for her? He can go to school with her.” Alexa hated to frighten Savannah, but she knew she had no choice. She had known when she took the Quentin case that there could be threats to her. She hadn’t bargained on them being aimed at Savannah instead. These weren’t direct threats, but there was a menace to them anyway. And if this was being orchestrated by Luke Quentin, it was even more frightening if he was having some previously convicted felon follow Savannah. She couldn’t prove that, but even the remote possibility of it made her feel sick.

“I haven’t told her about this letter yet, but I guess I have to. Thanks, Jack. I do want a cop for her,” she confirmed. She was afraid for Savannah, not herself.

“No problem. Try not to worry about it. It probably has nothing to do with Quentin, but it’s better to be safe than sorry. Who knows what kind of creeps he knows.” Everyone he knew or hung out with had been in prison.

Alexa decided not to worry Savannah at bedtime and told her what the letter said over breakfast. Savannah made a face. “That’s so creepy, Mom. The guy is sick.”

“Yes, he is. I called Jack Jones about it last night. He’s going to give you a plainclothes cop to go to school with, just to be on the safe side, in case someone really is watching you. I’d rather be smart about this. It may just be a prank, but I don’t want to take the chance.” The case she was working on was a reminder of just how dangerous some men were.

Savannah looked instantly upset. “That’s so embarrassing, Mom. How long do I have to have that?”

“Let’s see if he writes to you again. It could be till after the trial.” Until she knew if the notes were due to Quentin or not, she wanted Savannah protected and out of harm’s way.

“That’s three months away!” Savannah shrieked at her. “Maybe even four!” She knew enough about her mother’s work to know that the trial could last a month, and this was going to be a big trial, with thirteen victims, and maybe more by then. “I’d rather stay home from school than look stupid with a cop with me every day.”

“Well, you can’t stay home from school. So suck it up,” Alexa told her, relieved that Savannah was more upset about the cop than the potential danger. She was still ranting and raving when their doorbell rang five minutes later, and a handsome young boy with dark hair and big brown eyes wearing a baseball cap and jacket stood smiling at them both. He said he was Officer Lewicki, but to just call him Thad. He smiled at Savannah, and she stared at him as Alexa tried not to smile. It was easy to see that Savannah thought he was cute. Who wouldn’t? He looked about sixteen years old, and was probably only a few years older than that, close to Savannah’s age. She had imagined some old geezer in a uniform. Thad Lewicki was anything but that.

“All set for school?” Alexa asked sweetly, as Savannah put on her coat.

“Yeah, I guess so,” she said, as Thad picked up her book bag.

“I thought maybe we could say that I’m your cousin from California, and I’m here for a few months. They’re going to see me every day,” he suggested with a boyish smile.

“Yeah…okay…” Savannah said as they opened the door to the apartment.

“I should probably warn you, I suck at history and math. I think it’s some kind of learning disability or something. But I did okay in Spanish, if you need help.”

“Thanks,” Savannah said, smiling slowly. She glanced over at her mother cautiously, and Alexa nodded.

“Have a nice day,” she said as the door closed. She called the school to explain the situation to them, and then called Jack. He had done exactly the right thing with Thad.

“Okay, so how come you never send guys like that for me? The last time I needed protection, you sent me some old warhorse who weighed four hundred pounds. This kid is mighty cute.”

Jack laughed. “I thought you’d like him. What did Savannah think?”

“She didn’t have time to tell me, but she had almost forgiven me when she left. He was offering to do her Spanish for her and carrying her bag. He’s her cousin from California. He looks about fourteen years old.”

“He’s twenty-one, and a really nice kid. He’s the oldest of nine children, and his father, grandfather, and brother are cops too. A nice Polish family from New Jersey. Hell, maybe they’ll get married. She could do worse.” Alexa was laughing at the other end.

“You have it all figured out. Protection and a son-in-law all wrapped in one. Do you do windows and floors too?”

“Anytime, ma’am, if that’s what it takes.” He was teasing her, but there was always the faintest hint of flirtation in his voice when he talked to her about anything other than work. But he knew better than to try. She’d have run like hell, and he’d have lost a friend. “Anyway, problem solved.” He was happy to take the worry out of Alexa’s life. She had enough.

By the time she left for work that day, Alexa was relieved to know that Savannah was well protected. And by the end of the week, Thad was having breakfast with them before the two of them left for school. Savannah said he was a really nice guy. She said he had a girlfriend he’d gone out with since high school, they’d been together for seven years. He was a solid, reliable kid, and Jack said he was a good cop. Alexa had the sense that he and Savannah were becoming friends, although he kept respectful boundaries with her. And for the moment, there were no more letters. Everything was in control. Alexa hoped that the letters would stop, whoever had written them. She had enough on her plate without that. Jason Yu had checked the letter for fingerprints when she took it to him in the lab, and once again, whoever had addressed the envelope and handled the printed computer sheet had worn gloves. There were no fingerprints on it at all.

At the end of the following week, Alexa sat in on another interrogation of Luke Quentin, and this time she was in the room. She asked no questions, and only observed, but he never took his eyes off her. She had the feeling that he was undressing her with every move. Nothing showed on her face. She looked icy cold and entirely professional, but by the time she left the room, she was shaking and totally unnerved.

“You okay?” Jack asked her in the hallway. She looked pale.

“I’m fine. I hate that sick sonofabitch,” she said, trying to calm down. They had linked two more murders to him. The house of cards had come down. His number of victims was at fifteen.

“Don’t worry, he hates you too. Those looks he gives you are just an act to throw you off. Don’t let him get to you, that’s what he wants. He’s not getting out of prison in this lifetime. He can’t do anything to you.”

“He acts like he can have any woman he wants.”

“He’s a good-looking guy. I guess it works for him.” He had looked right into her eyes, and ever so subtly licked his lips. Just watching him made her feel sick.

“It didn’t work so well for his victims,” Alexa said tersely and went back to her office. She had work to do. And Savannah was leaving the next day for a week in Vermont with her father over ski week. He was picking her up after school, while Alexa was at work. So she wouldn’t have to see him, which was fine with her.

Alexa and Savannah had a nice dinner that night, and said goodbye to each other the next morning, as Thad stood by, holding her books. Her bags for Vermont were all packed and waiting in the hallway. Alexa had helped her pack the night before.

“Have fun with Daddy,” Alexa said kindly. They had told Thad he had the next week off, and he was going back on regular duty for a week. Alexa didn’t need him. None of the letters had been to her, only Savannah.

“I’ll call you from Vermont,” Savannah promised as she hugged her mother and she and Thad walked out the door.

Alexa was sad to see her go, and she’d miss her, but she knew she’d have fun skiing with her father. He was a fabulous skier and had won races when he was younger. He had taught Savannah to ski when she was three, and it was still her favorite sport, probably because of the memories she’d shared with him.

Alexa worked late at the office, and came home after seven, braced to find an empty apartment, and was stunned to see Savannah still sitting there, looking glum. Alexa instantly tensed. Clearly, Tom had flaked on her again.

“What happened to your father?” Alexa asked gently, not wanting to upset Savannah any more than she already was.

“He’s late. His plane was delayed in Charleston. He won’t be here till nine. He said we’d still drive up tonight.” She sighed and smiled at her mother, who wondered if he’d really come. And as Alexa started to make something for them both to eat, she realized that she’d be there when he arrived. She told Savannah over dinner that she would stay in her room when he came. She didn’t want to break a perfect record and see him for the first time in ten years. She wasn’t ready for that. And wouldn’t be for another hundred years, no matter what her mother said. Screw that. And him.

“Come on, Mom, be nice.” Savannah didn’t say it, but she wondered if they saw each other now, and it wasn’t too awful, maybe her mother would let him come to graduation in June. She didn’t want to seem like a traitor to her mother, after all she did for her, but secretly Savannah wanted him there. And he had already said he would come, if it was okay with her mom, but not otherwise. He was respectful of his ex-wife’s feelings about him, and knew all the reasons why she felt that way. He couldn’t say she was wrong. He had been a total cad.

“I am nice,” Alexa said tartly, putting their dishes in the machine. “That doesn’t mean I have to see your father. Not tonight.” Or anytime soon. Or maybe in this lifetime.

“All you have to say is hi and bye.” Alexa didn’t say it to her daughter, but she was still thinking more along the lines of “fuck you.”

“I don’t think so, sweetheart. I want you to have a nice time with him. We both love you. But we don’t have to be friends.”

“No, but you could at least be polite. You won’t even talk to him on the phone. He says he would, but he understands why you won’t.”

“That’s big of him. At least we know his memory is still intact,” Alexa said, and walked out of the room. Savannah knew that her father had gone back to his first wife after leaving her mother, and they had had another child, whom Savannah had never met. She had never met his wife either, or seen her half-brothers in ten years, although she still remembered things about them. She knew none of the details of the divorce or why it had happened, and her mother refused to discuss it with her. Alexa didn’t think it right to explain it to her. Even if she hated Tom, he was Savannah’s father after all. Savannah remembered her paternal grandmother vaguely, and being slightly scared of her. She had never heard from her in all these years either, not even a birthday card. There was a rift a mile wide between the two sides of her family, and her only contact with her father was when he appeared. He rarely called her and had told her years before that she could never call him at home, only in the office, but she never did. She had correctly sensed that it was okay for him to visit her, but not for her to go anywhere near his Charleston life. It was a silent pact between them, and the kind of thing a child knew, without ever having it spelled out.

Alexa and Savannah sat and watched TV together, and the doorbell rang at nine-fifteen. Alexa leaped to her feet when she heard it and headed for the bedroom and was telling Savannah to come and say goodbye to her when she left, when Savannah pulled open the door, and there he was, and Alexa felt like a deer in the headlights as they stared at each other and said nothing. Ten years melted instantly like snow on their tongues. She had no idea what to say, and neither did he. He hadn’t expected her to be there. She never was. And he looked exactly the same. He was wearing jeans, a black ski parka, and hiking boots, and he was as handsome as he’d ever been. His hair was just a touch too long, his eyes were just as blue, the gray in his hair didn’t show among the blond, he had the same athletic body, and the same cleft in his chin. Tom Beaumont hadn’t changed one bit.

“Hello, Alexa,” he said quietly, as though afraid to approach her. She looked on the edge of panic and as though she were about to run from the room, and from him. And when he spoke, he had the same deep, husky voice, and the same southern drawl. What was different was that she wasn’t his wife anymore, and hadn’t been in years.

“Hello, Tom,” she said politely, looking stiff. She was still wearing her work clothes, a quiet navy suit, and she had kicked off her shoes, and had on navy stockings and a lawyerly white blouse, and her hair in a bun. Unlike him, she looked like a different person than the carefree, happy woman she had been ten years before. Now she looked serious, professional, and extremely uncomfortable to be facing him. But Savannah was grateful that she was at least talking to him. It was a first. She was so glad his plane had been late. Alexa wasn’t. “Well, I’ll leave you two to get ready. Savannah can get you something to eat, if you haven’t eaten.”

“I can pick something up on the road,” he said gently. What he had seen and startled him most was the look of sorrow in her eyes. It was all still there, everything he had done. It made his stomach hurt and made him want to cry. But it was way, way too late for that. “We’ll get going now,” he told Alexa, as though to assure her that he would be out of her sight and her space soon. She nodded, somber faced, and left the room. She walked into her bedroom and closed the door. He looked at Savannah and said nothing. Savannah looked happy, as though something wonderful had happened. He wondered if she was used to the devastated look in her mother’s eyes. That would be even worse. Alexa looked well, but the price of his betrayal was deep in her eyes.

They were ready to leave a few minutes later. Savannah was wearing black ski pants and a white parka, and she looked gorgeous when she came to kiss her mother goodbye in the bedroom. Alexa was going to miss her but had a ton of work to do. She could use the solitude, without having to feel guilty for the time she couldn’t spend with Savannah. And she knew how much she had been looking forward to the trip with Tom.

“I love you,” Alexa said as she hugged her. “Have a good time.”

“I love you too, Mom. Don’t work too hard.” And then she hesitated for a minute in the doorway. “Do you want to come and say goodbye?” She meant to her father. Her mother shook her head without a sound, and Savannah reassured her. “That’s okay. Thank you for being nice when he came in.” Alexa smiled, and Savannah closed the door.

Alexa heard them leave a moment later, and she lay down on her bed. She hadn’t expected to see him, or to be so shaken when she did. What had shocked her was that he looked no different, not one jot. He looked exactly as he had when he was her husband, and for an instant she had to remind herself that he no longer was. It was as though her heart and body had hung on to all the memories she had tried to kill. Her soul remembered, her skin remembered, her heart remembered, and now she remembered how much she had loved him then, and how painful it all was. As she lay there, she wondered if there were some people you always felt the same way about, who awoke the same feelings and the same memories. No matter how much you had come to hate them, or how much things had changed, there was always some tiny part of you that remembered how sweet it had been. The worst part was that she knew that if she had met him for the first time that night, she would have been just as attracted to him, just as dazzled by him and how incredibly good-looking he was. He was hard to resist. And then slowly as she lay there, she remembered just how awful it had been, how badly he had hurt her, and how weak and despicable he was. But for just a fraction of a second, she had remembered the good times and felt the same things for him. She was sorry she had seen him, and then decided she wasn’t. All it did in the end was remind her of how much she hated him, and why.