Stinger

CHAPTER 21

Two months later, December

Grace

I walked into my boss's office and smiled at him as I took a seat in the chair sitting on the other side of his desk.

"Grace," he greeted me on a smile.

Lawrence Stewart was the D.A. in Clark County, a large man with kind eyes and an easy smile. He was fair and generally easy to work for, although he could be a little set in his ways. I hadn't found any reason to go up against him yet, but I knew from observation that I should pick my battles wisely.

"How are you, Larry?" I asked. It's what he had asked me to call him the first day we spoke, during my phone interview.

"Good, good. And you? How's wedding planning?"

I smiled. "We haven't even set a date yet. You know, we work for a slave driver."

He laughed, a big belly laugh. "I could probably spare you both a weekend."

I grinned at him. "Okay, then, we'll get on it."

I had initially been nervous to let people at the office know Alex and I were dating, especially since I was new. But at a company gathering, two months after I started, Larry had come up to me and smiled at me warmly as he said, "Alex is a good kid, I'm glad you've found a friend in him."

After that, we still didn't make a show of the fact that we were dating, but I knew that it wouldn't be frowned upon. The whole office had been happy for us when we'd announced our engagement.

It was easy to work with Alex, even though we were engaged too. We didn't live together yet and so that probably helped, but I thought it would be fine when we saw each other both at the office and at home. Alex was easygoing and calm, very go-with-the-flow. In the courtroom, he came across as the trusted boy next door, and his win record reflected that.

Larry sat back in his chair. "Murder two nights ago, Grace. Police found a young girl shot in the head, left on the side of the road near Red Rock Canyon."

I blanched. I could picture the area. I had been there once upon a time...

"Any evidence found at the scene?" I asked.

"Plenty. Police got a print off a bracelet the victim was wearing. And she was holding a rock with blood on it. They ran the print and it came back to," he picked up a piece of paper off his desk and read the name, "Joshua Garner, twenty-eight. He was recently honorably discharged from the Navy–served as a SEAL for almost ten years, and had just started life as a civilian again. Moved here a couple months ago. No family in the area. When the police went to his address to arrest him, they found that he had a head wound that matched the rock the victim was holding. When they tested it, blood on the rock was a match to Mr. Garner. Not to mention, the bullet in the girl, came from his gun. They arrested him yesterday for murder."

I furrowed my brow and tapped the pen I was using to write down the information he was giving me on the legal pad on my lap. This case sounded about as "full-proof" as you could hope to get as a prosecutor. "Is he talking?"

"No. He lawyered-up right away." So I wouldn't be able to talk to him.

"Place of employment?"

He glanced down at the paper in front of him again. "He works security at the new hotel on the strip, Trilogy."

I knew of it–it was a luxury hotel with three towers. I'd heard it was incredibly lavish. I wrote the name down and then looked back up at him. "Do we know who the girl is?"

He shook his head. "She wasn't carrying any identification and she hasn't shown up in any missing person reports yet. She looks Hispanic, late teens to early twenties. Possibly illegal. All the crime scene photos are in here," he said, tapping the case jacket in front of him.

"Some sort of prostitution thing gone wrong?" I wondered aloud.

"Could be. That was my initial thought too. But no evidence pointing specifically to that right now. No autopsy information yet. What I've told you is about all we know. Now that you're closing up the Montega case, I want you to work this one. Your first homicide–I know you're up for the job. Grand Jury is on Friday."

His phone rang and he glanced at the screen. "I've gotta take this." He slid the case jacket across the desk to me and I picked it up and stood.

I nodded. "Thank you, Larry. I won't let you down." I turned to leave his office.

"I know you won't."

I smiled and nodded again and closed his door behind me.

I walked back to my office and sat down at my computer. I called down to homicide and asked for the lead detective on the case, Detective Powers. She had time to meet with me in a half hour and so I told her I'd be there.

I started turning off my computer and gathering my papers as Alex walked in the door. "How's my beautiful girl? Can I take you to lunch?" he asked, leaning on my desk and smiling at me.

"I wish. I thought I had an easy wrap up day. But I just got a new case and I've gotta get moving on it. Larry gave me my first homicide." It didn't seem right to be overly happy about it, after all, a young woman had died. But I was excited that Larry thought I was competent enough to handle it. I had held my own with many felony cases so far, but this was the first one that involved a murder.

Alex raised his eyebrows. "I'm not surprised. You're an amazing lawyer. I'm gonna be wrapped up with clients tonight, but dinner tomorrow night and you can catch me up?"

I stood up, putting my arms around his neck and looking up into his kind eyes. "Sounds great," I said.

He kissed me quickly on my forehead and let me go, whistling a catcall as he walked behind me toward my door. I laughed and grabbed my purse and coat hanging on a coat rack and blew a kiss over my shoulder as I headed to the stairs.

I got in my car, a white Honda Accord, and made my way to police headquarters where I sat down with Detective Powers and went over the details of the case to make sure our testimonies were ready for Grand Jury. I blanched as I looked at the pictures of the dead girl again, a bullet hole straight through her forehead. I had seen violent crime scene photos before, but this time, I felt a fierce responsibility sweep over me. It was my job to get justice for this girl. A lump formed in my throat as I took in the horrific details. No one's life should ever end that way.

"If you ever get used to seeing that kind of thing, it's time to retire," Detective Powers said with a bit of humor in her voice. But her eyes said she was completely serious. I liked her. She was about forty with short blond hair and pretty features. She was direct but kind.

I smiled a small smile at her. "I agree. Makes it that much worse that she's so young," I said quietly, closing the file and pushing it away from me.

"Detective, do–"

"Please, call me Kate," she said, smiling warmly.

"Okay, Kate," I smiled, "do you have any ideas about a motive here?"

"Not yet. But I do have a couple people to follow up with that have proven hard to pin down so far. They may be helpful in shedding light on Mr. Garner's state of mind, among other things."

I nodded. "Well, it looks like we have plenty to present to Grand Jury on Friday. I don't see any problem getting an indictment."

"No, there won't be a problem. If you have any questions, give me a call, but otherwise, I think we're in sync. I'll see you at the courthouse?"

"Yes, sounds good. Thanks for meeting with me today. I know you have a busy schedule."

"Not a problem."

We both stood and shook hands and she walked me to the door. I thanked her again and headed back to my office. I had two days to prepare for Grand Jury.

Carson

I walked into Leland's office and closed the door quietly behind me. He was on the phone, but when he saw me, he told whomever he was talking to that he needed to go.

I sat down in the chair across from him and leaned my elbows on my knees, running my hand over my hair, which I had kept short even after leaving the Navy.

"Anything?" Leland asked, looking at me warily.

I shook my head, my jaw tensing. "No. Not a damn thing."

Leland paused. "Okay. But you're agreed that we can't visit him. It's too risky. And even if we sent someone else in there, everything's recorded. Josh couldn't talk anyway."

I let out a frustrated sigh. "I know. We'll just have to wait until bail is set. Fuck! We've always been like a well-oiled machine. How did this happen?"

Leland frowned, drumming his pen on his desk. I knew that if anything happened to Josh, hell, any of us, Leland was going to take it the hardest. He had presented this operation to us in the first place.

"Fuck is right," he mumbled, looking out the window at the mid-day Vegas skyline.

I let out a breath and sat back in my chair. "Leland, this is a bad situation, about as bad as it fucking gets, but we knew the risk going in."

He took a deep breath, moving his eyes back to me. "Yeah." After a minute he continued. "Josh has gotta know we went back in for him, right?"

"Fuck yeah. He knows the motto. Hell, we've proven it enough times over the years." I paused. "Yeah, he knows."

Leland pursed his lips, still drumming his pen. "Okay, what's next?"

"Well, the operation halts, obviously. We keep a low profile. We can't be seen together. We keep trying to pinpoint Bakos' location because there's no one else who could be responsible. And we do it before he starts putting the pieces together and we all have targets on our backs."

Leland studied me. "Well why didn't you say it was a fucking cake walk? Shit, is that all?" He laughed a humorless laugh.

I chuckled. "Yeah, it's in the bag."

We were both quiet for a minute. "Any idea why he'd set Josh up like that rather than just shooting him in the head?"

"I figure, he has him shot in the head, he'd never know who he was. We don't carry i.d. Frame him, get him arrested, it not only goes down harder, but it's an easy way to get him identified. I mean, I've gotta give him credit."

Leland huffed. "Damn. We underestimated him."

I shook my head. "No. We got caught."

"Well, yeah, that didn't help either. So now it's just a waiting game."

"Yeah, now it's just a waiting game. We're doing everything we can."

"Have you talked to the detective yet?"

"I put her off, but I have an appointment with her Friday. I couldn't hedge any more than that. I'd appreciate it if you could call my office phone so I can cut the meeting short though. If she wants to meet with me beyond that, she'll have to bring me to the station." I wasn't going to make it easy, and for good reason. I was involved too.

He nodded. "Yeah, no problem. She know you were in the Navy with Josh?"

"Yeah, I didn't really have any choice but to tell her. I figured it'd look suspicious if I didn't offer that up and it came out later."

Leland frowned. "Probably true."

He studied me, thinking. "Any way us serving with Josh could get to Bakos?"

"I don't see how at this point, but again, we need to find him before he has time to gather information we don't want him to have. He'll be keeping an eye on the investigation. It's just normal police protocol to question an accused's boss at his place of employment. Hopefully Bakos takes it at face value and doesn't look any closer."

"Yeah, let's hope."

"I've tightened security throughout the hotel. No one is gonna get in here to ask questions without us knowing about it."

Leland was quiet for a minute and then nodded. "Thanks, man."

I nodded back, standing up to leave. "How's forty-five?"

"No problems. Dylan's still working on flights and paperwork. He said he'd have it all scheduled by tomorrow. The priority is Bakos though and so that's what he's focusing on."

"Okay, good," I said. "Keep me updated."

"I will. Thanks, Carson."

I started walking toward the door when Dylan walked in. "Hey speak of the computer genius. Tell me you have something," I said.

Dylan had moved to Vegas a month earlier when we realized we needed someone to help with the computer side of our operation–someone we could trust.

"Not yet. That motherfucker moves around so damn much." He frowned. "I have some ideas though. They'll just take time."

I nodded. "Yup, a waiting game," I said to both Dylan and Leland. "A fucking waiting game."

Dylan clapped me on the back. "I have some programs running so I'm scheduling flights right now. I ran into a couple problems with paperwork though. That's why I'm here." He looked over at Leland.

"I'll let you figure it out," I said, starting to leave again.

"Okay, see ya," Dylan said. I nodded at Leland again and walked out the door.

CHAPTER 22

Grace

I walked out of Grand Jury feeling accomplished. It had gone perfectly and we had gotten the indictment. No surprise, but it still felt good to be done with that part of the process. Now I could really get to work preparing my case.

Kate Powers was standing in the hall when I walked out. "Hey Grace, great job in there."

"Thanks, Kate, you too." I smiled.

We started walking toward the front of the courthouse.

"Hey, I'm actually heading to Trilogy where Josh Garner works. I finally pinned down his boss, the head of security there. I met with him briefly the other day but he got called out on an emergency and so I rescheduled with him for today. Wanna come along?"

"Oh. Sure. That would be good," I said. "I'd like to hear his boss's read on him."

"Well, he's not just his boss. They were actually SEAL's together before coming to Vegas. Another guy they served with owns Trilogy and offered them a job. Hopefully one or both of them have some information on Josh Garner that might help at least establish his character."

I nodded. "Oh! Okay, then I definitely want to come along," I said.

She opened the front door and held it for me before walking through. "Um hmm. And, wait until you get a load of this guy. I roll my eyes when my teenage daughters use the word 'hot' to describe every good-looking male they see, but oh honey, this guy is H-O-T. Not to mention, he won a silver star for valor, which makes him even hotter."

I laughed. "Should I clear my schedule for the rest of the day so I can recover after getting an eyeful of this brave and perfect specimen of man?"

"Not a bad idea, I'm telling you," she said, laughing.

We parted ways agreeing to meet in the lobby at Trilogy and I got in my car and started driving toward the strip.

As I passed the Bellagio, I smiled to myself. When I first moved here, I had wondered if it would be hard for me to pass that hotel all the time. In the beginning, it had been. That old familiar longing would set in and I would want to know how he was so badly, it felt crushing. But as time went on, I came to see that hotel as a symbol of all my life had become. I had made the choice to follow my own dreams because of my weekend there. I was doing what I loved. And in very large part, I had Carson to thank for that. Before him, I had always felt like if I lost control in one area, I would lose control in all areas. He had shown me that that didn't have to be the case–that I could trust myself, and it was okay to let go a little bit and experience life. And so that's how I had gone forward. And I was happier for it.

I parked in the parking garage of Trilogy and rode the elevator up to the lobby. I had never been here before and I was taken aback by how stunning it was. Trilogy didn't have a theme per se like many of the other luxury hotel/casinos in Vegas, unless luxury was considered a theme. There were huge, dramatic chandeliers hanging everywhere, plush seating in deep jewel colors, and gleaming gold walls and ceilings.

I spotted Kate talking on her cell phone on a deep blue chaise lounge and walked toward her. She smiled and hung up her phone. "Ever been here?" she asked.

"No, it's stunning."

"Yeah, it really is. Each tower is slightly different, but equally stunning. The water features outside are the most incredible I've ever seen. You should walk around for a few minutes after we finish this meeting."

"I might," I said, still looking around distractedly.

We walked up to the beautiful gold-adorned front desk, and I stood back as Kate talked to the desk clerk. She walked back to me. "We can go on back. He has an office to the right of the casino. I was back there last time I was here."

I nodded and started following her.

I looked around as we walked through the luxurious casino. I had been to plenty of them since I had moved to Vegas, but they still managed to make my eyes go wide with all the sights and sounds. The people watching was my favorite; some animated, some sitting stoically as they fed dollar bills into a machine.

We stepped out of the casino and Kate rounded a corner into a hallway. We took several turns and ended up in a hall that dead-ended, and Kate knocked on the first door to the right. I stood waiting with her for a couple seconds before the door opened and I looked up into the face of the very fine specimen of man that Kate had referred to. My bones turned to liquid and my heart started beating loudly in my head. I wanted to sag against the doorframe. I felt dizzy, and yet adrenalin was rushing through my veins, the only thing holding me up. "Carson," I breathed out.

Carson

I heard my name let out on a whisper and when my eyes moved over to the little blonde standing next to the detective in front of me, my muscles froze up, shock pulsing through my body, time seeming to halt entirely as my eyes met with hers. Grace. Hers widened, those crystal clear pools locking on to me.

"Grace?" I let out on a harsh exhale.

We all stood there, silent, me and Grace staring at each other, me trying to gather some equilibrium, her blinking rapidly up at me. I had been in a lot of unexpected situations through the years, and I had always managed to gather my shit quickly. As I stood staring at Grace, I did not gather my shit quickly.

She looked even more beautiful than I remembered her, her blonde hair pulled up in a twist just like the first time we had met. She was wearing a navy blue skirt that showed off her slim figure, and a pale gray blouse that buttoned up the front. My eyes did a quick survey of her from head to heels.

"So, you two know each other?" the detective asked.

It broke the spell. I looked over at her, her eyes narrowed on both of us, looking back and forth. I moved into my office, making room for them both to enter. I kept staring at Grace though. "Yes, I know Grace," is all I said. She remained silent, appearing shell-shocked as she followed us in. I attempted to get ahold of my feelings. This wasn't the time to deal with them. I needed to get the detective out of my office, and get Grace alone. Questions were exploding through my brain. I clenched my jaw in order that they didn't start spilling out of my mouth.

I went and sat behind my desk as the detective and Grace took the two seats on the other side.

"Thank you for meeting with me, Mr. Stinger," the detective said.

"Call me Carson, detective." I glanced over at Grace who was still staring at me, that stunned expression remained on her face. God, she was even more stunning than I remembered, those eyes even more clear, her lips even prettier… I had thought about her so often during these last four and a half years. But my memory of her didn't do the reality justice. Was she really sitting in front of me right now? It felt like an out-of-body experience. Mission Get Detective Out, was underway.

"Okay, Carson, call me Kate," she said. "We won't take much of your time. We just have some questions about Mr. Garner."

"We?" I asked, glancing at Grace again.

"Yes, we. Ms. Hamilton is the prosecutor working on this case. I'm sorry, I thought you said you knew each other?"

I froze for a second, my eyes flying back to Grace and narrowing on her. Prosecutor? Oh fuck. Wait, could this be a good thing for Josh? My brain was going a million miles a minute. "It's been a while," I said gently, not looking away from Grace.

Kate was glancing back and forth between the two of us again. "Okay, well, I'll make this quick and you two can catch up." She smiled big and glanced between us both again.

Neither Grace nor I said anything, but Grace crossed her legs, seeming like she was relaxing a little bit. Kate cleared her throat. "Okay, Carson, I understand you were in the Navy with Mr. Garner and that you both moved here recently to work at Trilogy. Did he ever exhibit any behavior then, or recently, that seemed unusual to you?"

I focused in on Kate. "No."

She stared at me. "Care to elaborate?"

I leaned back in my chair. "Josh Garner has always been a stable man who acted sound of mind and body. I never observed any unusual behavior."

Kate nodded and jotted something on a small pad she had placed on her crossed knee.

"What kind of soldier was he?"

I furrowed my brow. "He was a trustworthy teammate who did his job well."

She nodded. "I'm assuming you were in situations where violence was necessary. How did he react to those situations?"

I glanced at Grace who was reaching into her bag for a pad and a pen too. As she took the pen in her hand, I noticed the slight tremor. I also noticed the ring on her finger. My heart dropped and I felt ice water rush through my veins. It's been almost five years. What would you expect? I locked my feelings down and looked back at Kate, trying to recall her question.

"In a professional manner. He did what he had to do to complete the missions we were on. If you're asking if he seemed to like the violent aspect of his job, the answer is no. He did what was required and no more or less than that."

"Any idea why he left the Navy?"

"He had served as a SEAL for ten years. He was ready to get back to civilian life, and his job here was a good offer. He didn't elaborate any more than that to me."

"Okay. Did you see him Sunday during the day or Sunday night?"

"He worked Sunday, but we didn't have very much interaction. I was mostly in the security rooms downstairs and he worked the casino floor."

Kate nodded again. "Good employee?"

"Very good employee."

"Did you socialize personally?"

"Not much since we've been in Vegas. We've both been busy."

Kate tapped her pen on her paper. "Okay, I think that's all I have for now." She put her pad and pen in her bag. "If I have any more questions, I'll be in touch." She smiled and stood.

Grace started standing too, but Kate put a hand on her arm. "Grace, I'll be in touch. Have a good rest of the day." She nodded to me and turned and walked to the door, opening it and closing it quietly behind her.

Grace stood up quickly. "Carson, what–"

I stood up at the exact same time. "Grace, how–"

We both laughed a little uncomfortably and then both went silent, just looking at each other.

"Hi, Grace," I smiled.

She let out a breath and smiled back. "Hi, Carson."

I came around my desk and sat down in the chair Kate had been previously occupying. Grace sat back down in her chair. I wanted to reach for her hands, but I didn't. I could still hardly believe she was real–sitting right here in front of me.

"You went into the Navy?" she asked softly, her eyes wide.

I nodded. "Yeah. Right after we left Vegas," I said.

Her brow furrowed and something that looked like hurt crossed over her face. "Why didn't you tell me?" she asked.

"I tried, Grace, after I became a SEAL, I came to visit you, but... I saw you outside your apartment hugging your boyfriend and I thought it'd be better if I didn't…" I ran my hand over my short hair. "Anyway, I shipped out after that."

She stared at me, surprise and then confusion filling her eyes. "You came to see me?" she whispered. But then her brow immediately furrowed. "Wait, boyfriend?" she asked. "I didn't have a boyfriend while I was in D.C."

I was quiet for a minute, searching her face. I hung my head, closing my eyes briefly. "Shit. I thought for sure what I saw…" I shook my head slightly. "Shit." I didn't know what else to say. I looked back up at her. "He was a blonde guy… about my height."

She frowned. "That had to be Abby's boyfriend, Brian," she said quietly.

I closed my eyes again briefly, shaking my head. I couldn't even bear to think about it too much, regret over the missed opportunity crashing into me, even though it had happened so many years ago. Could things have been different? I wished I knew what Grace was thinking.

She sighed and gave a small shrug. "Well, thank you for… trying." She gave an uncomfortable laugh.

"I'm just sorry I didn't try harder," I said, meaning it with everything in me.

As I looked at her, taking in her professional suit, something occurred to me and I moved the feelings of regret aside, at least for the moment. "You didn't go into Corporate Law. You became a prosecutor," I said on a small smile.

She kept looking at me for a few seconds and finally, she smiled too. "Yes."

"How did you end up in Ve–" I was interrupted by the ringing of the phone. "Damn. Hold on."

I picked up the receiver. "Leland, it's taken care of."

"Uh, okay, man. She leave?"

"Yeah. Nothing much to update. We'll talk later."

"Oka–" I hung up. I returned to the seat across from Grace. I was holding myself back from scooping her up and hugging her. Feelings I couldn't identify were rushing through my system. I knew there were things I should be addressing here–first and foremost the fact that she was the prosecutor on my friend's case, a case that had more to do with me than she could know. We needed to discuss that. Or maybe we shouldn't discuss that. I didn't know.

Her hands moved in her lap and that ring caught my eye again. "You're engaged?" I asked quietly.

She looked down at her ring, a confused expression on her face, almost as if she didn't know what I was talking about for a second. She looked back up at me. "Yes."

I nodded. "When's the wedding?"

"The wedding?"

I tilted my head down. "I assume an engagement means there'll be a wedding at some point?"

She laughed a small laugh. "Oh, well, we haven't set a date yet." Then her face went serious. "What about you Carson? Anyone special in your life?" Her body stilled completely and her eyes widened slightly. My answer mattered to her. Something soared deep underneath all the confusing emotions swirling through my body. I didn't know what to focus on–how to untangle the feelings coursing through me. And so I pushed them all aside. I'd deal with those questions later.

I shook my head. "No." We stared at each other for a few beats before she broke eye contact and started to stand. "I should go," she said suddenly, the notepad on her lap falling to the floor. I stood up as she did and then bent to scoop up the paper. When I came up, I was closer to her, and we stood staring at each other again for several seconds. A strange feeling of déjà vu hit me and I frowned for a second. "Grace–" I started.

She started backing away. "I have to go," she whispered. She turned and began walking to the door.

"Grace, wait, have dinner with me," I blurted out.

She halted in her tracks.

"Just to catch up," I said softly.

She turned around to face me. "Catch up?" she asked, her eyes filled with something that looked like fear.

I didn't answer her, just kept staring back into those large blue eyes. Finally, as if I'd said something that she heard, she nodded her head jerkily. "Okay," she said.

I breathed out. "I can pick you up. If you'll write down your address. I mean, do you live with your fiancé?" I asked, discomfort filling my chest.

She shook her head. "No, I live alone."

I nodded, reaching behind me to grab something for her to write on.

I handed her a pad of paper and she brought the pen she had been using back out of her bag. As she started to write, her hand paused. I held my breath and then let it out as her hand began moving again. She handed the pad back to me and returned the pen to her bag, biting her lip.

"Carson, I–"

"Seven o'clock?" I asked.

She hesitated, but then nodded. "Okay, seven."

"Okay."

We stood there awkwardly for a second before she turned and opened the door, glancing at me one more time before walking out. I sagged down against my desk. Grace. Holy shit. Prosecutor Grace, engaged Grace. Grace. I didn't know whether to laugh or throw something. I did neither. After a few minutes, I opened my office door and went back to work.

CHAPTER 23

Grace

Somehow, on jittery, unstable legs, I made it back to my car in the garage. Emotions were slamming into me. I felt like I had just drunk seven pots of coffee in a row and then gotten slapped across the face repeatedly. I sank down in my car seat, closed the door and let out a long, shaky breath. Carson Stinger. Holy hell! I felt like a bomb had just gone off in front of me and I should check myself over for shrapnel.

I had a vague impression that it was my life that had just gone up in flames, but I didn't know exactly how or why.

I tried to clear my head. Okay, so I had just unexpectedly run into a man that I had spent a weekend with almost five years ago. He had helped me to discover some things about myself that had had a positive influence on my life. Great. Good. We had both moved on with our lives. I was engaged now to a man who was good for me, a man who loved me. Carson had obviously moved on with his life too. He had gone into the Navy, become a SEAL. Holy crap! A strong surge of pride rose up in my chest. Wait, what? Why was I proud of him? I shook my head slightly, trying to clear it. Moving on.

When he told me he had come to see me in D.C., grief had washed over me. I was still having a hard time thinking about that. Would things have been different? I bit my lip. I couldn't wonder about that. If he had shown up that day, I may not have the life I had now. I may not be with Alex…

I leaned up and looked at myself in the car mirror and frowned. "Get it together, Grace," I whispered to my own reflection.

I started my car and drove to the garage exit and back out onto the strip.

As I drove to my office, my mind stayed on Carson. God, when I first saw him, I had thought I would pass out. I hoped that Detective Powers hadn't been able to see how much that chance encounter affected me. How embarrassing. I had totally lost my cool.

And now I had made dinner plans with him? I groaned out loud. What was I going to tell Alex? I had tried to rush out of there–so overwhelmed with the emotions pummeling me, I could hardly think straight. But he had stopped me and I was weak. God, after all this time, I was still affected by him. But holy shit, Batman, what woman wouldn't be affected by him? I had thought he was hot five years ago? Now he was a blazing inferno. Somehow that boyishness that he had had going on back then was roughened up a little bit, not gone, but chipped away–giving him an edge that he didn't have before. And that damn dimple still worked its magic, shaking me up every time he flashed a smile and it made an appearance.

His hair was shorter, and although he was still lean, I could tell that his muscles were even more chiseled, even though they were hidden under the suit he was wearing. And there was something behind his eyes that hadn't been there before–maybe a worldliness? I wanted to know more. God help me, I did. I stopped at a red light and brought my palm up to my forehead. I shouldn't be thinking about him like this. It was highly inappropriate.

Not to mention the fact that he knew the man I was prosecuting–sounded like they were friends even. Was there a conflict of interest there, even having dinner? No, I didn't think so. It's not like he was involved in the case. But still, I wasn't going to lie to myself and say that it was just two old friends grabbing a bite to eat. We were two people that had spent a weekend having sex… lots of sex… lots of great sex.

My mind started to wander to places it shouldn't wander and I pulled up short. God, stop, Grace! What is wrong with you?

Yes, maybe it wasn't right that I was going to have dinner with him at all. But I longed to know how his life had come to the place where it was now. I longed to know how he was doing. I had thought about him so often over the years. I would have dinner with him, catch up, and then we'd go our separate ways. He lived in the same city I lived in. Okay. That was fine. I would–

A car horn blared behind me and I jolted out of my thoughts, moving forward through the light. I forced myself not to think about Carson the rest of the way back to my office. I had the second half of the workday to get through. I needed to focus.

Alex was out of the office for the rest of the day, tied up in court, and I was thankful. I couldn't help feeling guilty about making dinner plans with Carson.

I closed the door behind me when I got back to my office and sat down at my desk, resting my head in my hands and sitting quietly for a few minutes, trying to get back to a place of calm.

I couldn't help laughing out loud. Geez, what were the freaking odds? What were the chances that almost five years later, completely unexpectedly, I would walk into Carson Stinger's office in a city neither one of us had lived in when we parted? Life was wild.

I clapped my hand over my mouth. Oh my God, I hadn't used that phrase in so long. Suddenly, that weekend, the feel of that weekend, came flowing back. I let it wash over me, not just remembering, but also feeling the things I had felt for Carson back then. Oh God, I couldn't do this. I stood up and grabbed my purse and my jacket, stopping at my secretary's desk on the way out and telling her that I was going home sick. I had been working there for almost six months and I'd never called in sick or left early. I knew no one would doubt me.

"Feel better!" the secretary, Amy, called behind me, sounding worried.

I just raised my hand up and waved behind me. I had no doubt that I looked truly ill.

Carson

After Grace left, I went up to see Leland to update him about the detective's questioning. I didn't mention Grace.

Dylan was working on hacking into some databases that may or may not pan out in helping Josh's case. He was also still trying to get a lead on Bakos that would give us enough time to move in on him. Josh would enter his plea in a day or two and then we could figure out bail. It was just a waiting game at this point.

I sat downstairs in the security room, watching the tables for a while, and then I texted Leland and told him that I was leaving a little early with a headache. It wasn't a lie. I had been sitting down there thinking of Grace the whole damn time. My head was splitting.

Still, I made time to go upstairs to the forty-fifth floor to check on the girls. This was something Grace couldn't know about. I was looking forward to catching up and telling her where my life had gone, but I knew I couldn't be completely honest with her. Especially not about the girls. That was something she wouldn't like, and something she might be required to report.

A half an hour later, I drove my truck home and as soon as I slammed the door behind me, I went to the kitchen and took a couple Advil. I took a long, hot shower and when I got out, I felt better.

Seeing Grace today still had me reeling. She was about the last person I'd have ever expected to walk into my office. And yet there she had been, standing in front of me like a dream, looking more beautiful than I remembered her. And I had done a lot of remembering when it came to Grace Hamilton.

I pulled on jeans and a long-sleeved, black shirt and grabbed my phone. I had forgotten to check in with Dylan before I left and so I called him.

He answered on the second ring, "Hey man."

"Hey, Dylan, I left a little early. Did you get all the paperwork squared away?"

"Mostly, I’m hoping it will be by tonight. I'm just waiting on a few things."

"Okay, cool. Just wanted to check in."

"Okay, you all right?"

"Yeah." I hesitated and Dylan remained quiet. "Hey Dylan, you remember that girl I met in Vegas five years ago or so? The one–"

"Yeah. Pussy Voodoo?"

I chuckled. "Yeah."

"What about her?"

"She walked into my office today. She's the prosecutor on Josh's case."

"You're shittin' me."

"No. I’m not. What are the odds, right? Shit."

"Geez, man. That's either really bad luck or really good luck. I don't know. Shit's pretty complicated right now. You still interested?"

I sighed. "Interested? Doesn't matter anyway. She's engaged."

Dylan paused. "Well, engaged ain't married."

"Huh. I'm taking her to dinner tonight. Just to catch up."

"That sounds interested, Carson. Be careful."

"I will. I will. Thanks, Dylan."

"All right. I'll see you in the morning."

"Okay, I'll be in early. I'm meeting the dignitaries from Saudi Arabia." It was part of my job as head of security to secure high-priced items that Trilogy guests brought with them.

"Oh, right, okay, I'll see you then."

We hung up and I looked at the clock. It was ten to seven. I grabbed my jacket and my keys and headed for the door.

CHAPTER 24

Grace

I was just finishing blow-drying my hair when my cell rang. It was Abby.

"You're going to die when I tell you who I'm going to dinner with, Abby," I whispered into the phone.

"Are you answering your phone from an underground bunker?"

"What? No."

"Then why are you whispering like that?"

I whispered into the phone again, "I don't know. Maybe a hear-no-evil thing?"

"Oh God. The last time you sounded like this, you were spending a weekend in Vegas with a porn star."

I laughed nervously. "Well, funny you should mention that actually."

I heard a shriek come from the other end of the line and held the phone away from my ear, grimacing.

"Jesus, Abby," I said, raising my voice to regular volume. "Are you trying to bust my ear drum?"

"Tell me you are not going to spend the weekend with another porn star, Grace."

I laughed. It felt good. I needed the relaxation a little laughter brought. I had taken a long, hot bath when I got home, but I was still strung up as tight as a bow over the thought of going to dinner with Carson. Not to mention the fact that I still hadn't told Alex about my evening plans. He was still with some clients and I'd only heard from him via text.

"Yeah, no." I cleared my throat. "I am, however, going to dinner with the porn star." I was whispering again.

"Say what?" Abby practically yelled.

"Abby, stop it, you're going to scare the baby." Abby was eight months pregnant.

She laughed. "The baby's fine. It's you I'm worried about. What is UP?"

I sighed. "I went along for an interview with a detective today for a case I'm working on and walked into Carson Stinger's office. No joke. I thought I was gonna faint, Abby."

"Carson Stinger's office?" she asked, sounding completely confused. "What office? Where?"

"He's head security at a new hotel on the strip. Apparently he went into the military after we parted ways and he's been overseas most of this time. I don't even know all the details. He asked me to dinner to 'catch up' and I said yes."

Abby was quiet for several seconds. "He joined the military… Wow. That is a story I have to hear. You better call me the minute you get back. What does Alex think about your dinner plans?" she asked warily.

I paused. "I haven't actually told him yet. But you know Alex, he's easygoing. I think he'll be fine with it."

She huffed out a breath. "That's what I'm worried about."

"What does that mean exactly?" I asked, frowning as I put Abby on speaker and took my robe off so that I could pull on my underwear and bra.

There was another short silence before Abby spoke, "I just… remember how that guy hit on you when we were out at Thanksgiving?" Abby and Brian had come to Vegas a couple weeks before to spend Thanksgiving with me and Alex because I was wrapping up a big case and hadn't been able to get home to see my dad and sisters. We had gone out for Thanksgiving dinner, deciding to make a big night out of it and when I had left the table to use the restroom, a guy stopped me and made a pretty big show of hitting on me.

"Yeah? And?" I asked.

"Alex didn't even bat an easygoing eyelash. He really couldn't have cared less."

"That's not true! He just trusts me."

Abby huffed out a breath. "I can't hold it in any longer, Grace." And I swore I heard Brian's voice in the background saying her name quietly in a warning manner. "Shhh!" I heard her say back.

"Abby, what can't you hold in any longer?"

"He's boring!"

I sucked in a breath. "No he's not! He's… he's kind and sweet and… "

"Safe?" she asked.

"Yes! Safe. So what? What's wrong with that? He loves me. He's good to me."

Abby sighed into the phone. "Honey, I can see that he is. It's just, you two act like brother and sister. It's almost creepy."

I laughed. I couldn't help it. "We're creepy? That's just… mean!"

"I don't mean that you're creepy, what I mean is… how's the sex?"

"Abby, stop. I'm not talking about this anymore. Alex loves me. I'm marrying him. That's it."

"Listen, Grace. Please don't be mad at me. I just couldn't not say anything to you. And since we're talking about Vegas five years ago, I've gotta say it–after you came home, I saw you change in so many good ways. It was like, you blossomed after that. In all areas, except one. Where men were and are concerned, it's like you went backwards. What's up with that? What's up with the whole 'safe' fiancé? What's going on there? Is that what you were really waiting all that time for? Safe? I love you. I'm only saying this because I love you. I don't want you to end up regretting marrying him."

I sighed. "Abby. I know you're looking out for me. But when it comes to Alex, I know what's good for me, okay? I really do. I won't regret marrying him. I won't. Thank you for sharing your concerns. Now, speaking of bad decisions, I gotta go get ready for dinner."

"Okay," she said, sounding uncertain. "Just one more thing and I won't bring it up again–you keep saying that he loves you. You don't have to answer me now, but do you love him? That's it. I've said my piece. Don't be mad at me, okay?"

I sighed. "I'm not mad. I love you. I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

"You better. I love you too."

"I will. Bye, Abs."

"Bye, Grace."

I hung up and sat on my bed in my underwear, chewing on my thumbnail. Brother and sister? Is that really what Alex and I acted like together? No. He loved me. I mean, I loved him? No, I loved him. Of course, I loved him. I was attracted to him. He was handsome and sweet and good. I was lucky to have him. He did make me feel safe. So what? Was that a bad quality? I loved Abby, but she wasn't the one who had to live my life. I needed to get this straight in my head before I went out to dinner with walking sex-on-a-stick.

My phone rang again. It was Alex.

"Hi," I answered on a smile.

"Hi yourself. How's the headache?"

"Oh it's fine. I feel better." I had told him I went home early from the office because of a headache. "Actually, I ran into an old friend today and I'm going to dinner with… him."

"Him?"

I nodded my head and then realized he couldn't see me. "Um, yeah. I ran into him at Trilogy today when I was there with Kate Powers on a case. I met him at a law conference I went to years ago and he asked me if I wanted to grab a bite with him tonight. Of course, he knows I'm engaged. Do you mind?"

He paused. "No. That's fine. I'm going to turn in early anyway. Gotta be back in court early again tomorrow." He yawned. "Have a good time, okay?"

"Oh, okay. Love you."

"Love you. I'll see you in the office tomorrow afternoon. Bye, sweetie."

"Bye, Alex."

I hung up and sat chewing my thumbnail for a few minutes longer. Then I got up and did my makeup. I wasn't sure what to wear since I didn't know where Carson was taking me so I pulled on a pair of dark jeans with my black high-heeled boots and a see through silvery blue sweater with a matching cami underneath. It was casual, but dressy enough for a nice restaurant too.

I went back into the bathroom to take my hair out of the ponytail I had put it in to do my makeup, when the doorbell rang. I ran a brush through my hair quickly, took a deep breath and went to answer it.

I pulled it open and Carson was filling my doorway, six feet of male, every inch of him beautiful. I knew. I remembered every inch of him. I almost shivered. This was already off to a very bad start. "Hi," I said, opening the door so he could come inside.

I backed up and hitched my thumb over my shoulder. "I'll just grab my coat."

He didn't say anything. Just narrowed his eyes and smiled tightly. Was there a problem?

I grabbed my coat and purse and walked back to Carson who was still standing in my doorway, glancing around. He still hadn't said a word to me.

I moved toward the door and he pulled it open and let me go through first, and then followed and waited as I locked up. We walked in silence down to a big, black truck and he held the door open for me as I climbed inside. I took in his cold expression and felt a wave of hurt wash over me. I pushed the feeling away, realizing that this was probably a very bad idea.

Carson

I closed Grace's door and went around my truck and climbed inside. My blood was humming with her proximity, and as much as I wanted to enjoy dinner with her, I had worked myself into a tense mood over the fact that there were things between us again, things that were going to make it very challenging for this to go anywhere. What the fuck was I doing? It had been hard enough to get over her the first time. And now I was willingly putting myself back in the same situation, only worse this time? Jesus. I was some kind of masochist when it came to this girl. The first time, I hadn't known how she would end up affecting me. This time I did, it probably wouldn't end well, and I was back for more. It had really become obvious to me when she opened the door, her cheeks all flushed and her hair down–even longer than it had been when I first met her, and everything in my body yearned to rip her clothes off and take her up against her wall. I needed to get a handle on that. She was engaged. Shit. And I was unavailable for a relationship anyway, for all intents and purposes. So why did I have a vague idea that when it came down to it, I was going to act like a fucking idiot and push all those very good reasons aside? I didn't trust myself with Grace Hamilton, plain and simple. She was like a magnet–drawing me to her. I was unable to resist her pull.

I glanced over at Grace and she looked uncertain, biting her lip and waiting for me to start the truck. I was making her nervous. I didn't like that either. I forced myself to relax.

It wasn't like this was just any woman. This was Grace. I almost felt like, in part, she had been with me all along. A constant in my heart, if not in my life. It was a thought, but it was also a feeling and all of a sudden, having her with me almost felt like a priority–like I'd be stronger with her. Stronger for what was going on with Josh, stronger for everything. It surged through my body, filling me with purpose and scaring the fuck out of me at the same time. There were a lot of things standing in our way, just like the last time. But suddenly, as my eyes took her in, all my doubts, from only a few minutes before, fell to the wayside and it seemed critical that I at least try to see where things could go this time. I couldn't explain it, it didn't make a whole lot of sense. But in that moment, the feeling was so strong, I accepted it.

"Guess what?" I finally asked.

Her eyes darted to mine in the dim light of the car. "What?" she asked back, tilting her head.

"I live about five minutes from you, in this same neighborhood." When I had gotten into my truck and put Grace's address into my GPS, I had almost laughed out loud. She hadn't written her zip code down, and so I didn't realize until that moment that she too lived in Summerlin, a neighborhood Northwest of Vegas. Something about it struck me as funny. Apparently, her pull even spoke to me in some psychic manner. I was fucked. Either that, or fate was just messing with me.

"Really?" she asked on a smile. Then she frowned. I wondered what she was thinking, but I didn't ask, just looked forward on a smile and started the truck. My body relaxed.

I drove toward the strip, both of us silent for the first five minutes.

"So this is really weird, isn't it?" she finally asked.

I chuckled. "What?"

"Us, running into each other that way, after all this time. It's just… almost… unbelievable."

I nodded, but paused. "Yes and no."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"It's hard to explain. I was shocked, but almost not surprised at all. Maybe I always expected to see you again." I looked over at her.

She raised an eyebrow. "This is some kind of weird stalking thing, isn't it?"

I laughed. "I don't know. You tell me." I looked over at her, feigning suspicion.

She laughed too. "It's been quite the operation… tracking you all over the world." She turned her body so she was facing me in the cab of the truck. "Speaking of which, Kate said you just moved here a couple months ago. Where were you deployed?"

I looked over at her. "I served in the middle east," I said.

She nodded. "I mean, wow, a SEAL, Carson. I'm so impressed. What made you decide to go into the Navy?"

I paused for a minute, wondering if complete honesty was a good idea or a bad idea. Finally, I answered, "You."

"Me?" she breathed out.

I nodded. "After that weekend, Grace, I wanted to be more. I wanted to have something to offer someone like you." I shrugged and looked over at her. She was staring at me with wide eyes, her mouth slightly open as if she had been about to say something, but took it back.

"Anyway," I said, "the Navy idea kind of came to me in a blinding flash of light and I just did it before I really had time to think about it." I chuckled.

She let out a breath. "I don't know what to say. I, well, I'm… honored that you consider me the catalyst for changing your life in such a positive way." She paused. "That sounds completely dorky. I'm just… thank you for telling me that."

I grinned over at her. "Don't take too much credit. I did all the hard work."

She laughed. "Yes, you certainly did."

We both smiled at each other in the dim cab.

"So," she said, "how did you end up in security in Vegas?"

"Me and my buddy Leland got injured in the same ambush. His family owns Trilogy. He got medically discharged and asked me if I'd like to come to Vegas with him and take the head of security job. It sounded like a good opportunity." I shrugged. There was so much more to it than that, but I couldn't tell her about that part, not now.

"Where did you get injured? What happened?" she asked quietly.

"I was shot in the back," I said. "Luckily the bullet went straight in and out, minimal internal damage. And my hands were burned." I held one up but in the dim light of the car, even I could barely see the scarring on the palm side of my fingers.

Grace sucked in a breath. "My God…"

"Wait," I said, changing the subject, "you just got my whole story out of me in the car ride to dinner. What are we gonna talk about now?"

She laughed. "We'll probably figure something out."

I smiled as I pulled into a parking garage and drove up a couple levels before finding a spot. In just a few minutes, things were easy and comfortable with Grace again.

We got out of my truck and started walking to the elevator.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"Well, I didn't exactly make reservations. But I have three or four ideas for you to choose from that shouldn't need one."

"Can we do hot dogs?" she blurted out.

I laughed and looked over at her. She was grinning.

"Seriously?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"What? You don't like hot dogs anymore?" she asked as we came to a stop in front of the elevator.

"I love hot dogs. I just don't think I've had a hot dog since… well, since I had a hot dog with you."

She laughed. "Me neither! Let's do it."

I looked over at her. God, she was so pretty. My hands were itching to touch her. I fisted them at my sides.

A couple seconds later, the elevator doors opened and we stepped in. As it jolted, starting its descent, my eyes met Grace's and we both laughed, knowing exactly what the other was thinking. Here I was riding an elevator with Grace Hamilton again. Life was wild.

We stepped off when the doors opened and walked to the entrance to the strip. It was December and the air was cool, but not cold, perfect walking weather.

"Do you come to the strip a lot?" I asked as we headed toward Pink's.

She shook her head. "Rarely. My best friend, Abby, and her husband, came in for Thanksgiving and I took them here to walk around, but Abby's pregnant so it was the tame Vegas tour."

"The roommate you lived with when I first met you, right?"

She glanced over at me, looking slightly surprised, and nodded her head.

"Your fiancé doesn't ever take you to get a hot dog?" I had to bring him up. I had to know what her relationship with him was like. The word itself, fiancé, told a story. But it didn't necessarily tell the whole story.

She bit her lip, not looking over at me. "Alex is more of a homebody, I guess you'd say," is all she said, but I thought a look of disappointment swept over her features. Interesting.

We got to Pink's and I held the door open for her. Grace grinned at me as she walked through. The hostess led us to a table and I pulled Grace's chair out for her. "M'lady," I said.

She laughed as I scooted her close to the table and took my own seat. We both took off our jackets and when the waiter came over, we both ordered a beer.

"So tell me more about why you decided to become a prosecutor," I said.

She looked down and played with her napkin for a minute before responding, "Actually, Carson, I have you to thank for that. After we talked about it here," she waved her arm toward the window, indicating Vegas, "I realized that it was what I really wanted. And I made it happen. So… thank you."

I leaned back in my chair and smiled. "Really?"

"Yeah, really." She smiled at me. "Anyway, I took my first job in D.C. but there just weren't any openings in the court I wanted to be in, and so I started applying to different cities and ended up here. And I love it. I really, really love it."

I smiled at her. "That's great, Grace."

She blinked at me, looking like something had just occurred to her. "Your friend…" she said.

"We can talk about that another time, okay? It's a weird situation, but… let's just catch up tonight."

She nodded, pursing her lips slightly. The waiter came over with our beers and took our orders.

When the waiter walked away, Grace said, "That's what you ordered the last time." She grinned.

"I know. You ordered the same thing too."

She nodded and laughed.

I held my beer up. "To fate," I said. "She's a tricky bitch." I meant that in more ways than I could explain.

She huffed out a breath and raised her eyebrows. "That's for dang sure," she said and clinked my bottle, smiling over at me and tilting her head.

Our food came a few minutes later and Grace dove right in. "See," she said around a mouthful of chili cheese dog, "I learned from last time."

I laughed at her and dove into mine too. I could feel cheese sticking to my chin and something gloppy on the side of my mouth.

Grace put her hand over her mouth and laughed out loud, her eyes dancing. "How in the world are you not taken yet, Carson Stinger?" She laughed. I grinned at her but then the smile faded from her face and she just kept looking at me, her eyes wandering down to my mouth as I wiped it with my napkin. She licked her bottom lip and I felt my cock jump in my pants. Fuck.

"Grace–" I started.

"Anyway!" she said brightly, crossing her legs under the table, "this was a really good idea. I need to eat more hot dogs." She stopped and furrowed her brow. "I mean, you know, you can never eat too many hot dogs." She frowned more. "I mean, you probably can. There is probably a recommended hot dog limit, but I fall too far beneath–"

I laughed out loud. "Okay, Buttercup, you can stop now," I said.

Her eyes flew to mine and her cheeks flushed pink. We stared at each other in silence for several beats before she finally whispered, "I missed that."

"Me too," I said quietly.

"Why do you call me Buttercup, Carson?" she asked quietly, her eyes growing even bigger.

I smiled slightly. "Maybe it's because you're as pretty as a flower," I said.

She stared at me for a couple beats, opened her mouth as if to say something and then closed it again. She shook her head slightly as if clearing her mind. "Carson, I'm engaged," she said.

My jaw tensed. "Yeah, Grace, I know that."

She searched my face and then shook her head slightly and looked down again. "I'm sorry, that sounded… bitchy or something. I didn't mean to imply that you–"

"Grace," I interrupted, "it's okay. Really. I got you, all right? Let's talk about something else. I'm having a good time with you."

She nodded, smiling slightly. "Okay, thank you."

I nodded and then took another big, sloppy bite of my hot dog. She grinned and then did the same with hers.

We finished our food and the waiter came over and cleared the table. We chatted about living in Vegas for a few minutes as we each finished our beers. When the waiter came over with our bill, I paid and we started to get up to leave, putting on our coats.

"This was fun," Grace said.

I smiled at her. "Yeah, it was. I've wondered for a lot of years how you were doing and it's great to see you so happy."

She paused, smiling, but it looked strained. "I am. And same here. It's great to see you doing so well, looking so… well."

We stared at each other for a few beats and then she moved, breaking the spell. We headed for the door.

"Do you want to walk past the Bellagio fountain?" I asked her. "For old time's sake?" I smiled down at her.

She laughed. "Why not? I haven't been there since… well, you know since, you." She glanced up at me, her smile fading.

We walked in silence for a few minutes before she said, "So, Carson, can I ask you something?"

"Of course," I said, as we started across the street.

"Did you do that film that you were scheduled to do the morning after you left Vegas?" she asked quietly. I glanced at her and she lowered her eyes, but kept looking straight ahead.

I hesitated in answering her as we made it past a small group of people, and then I took her hand and pulled her to an empty spot at the edge of the stone railing looking out to Lake Bellagio.

We stopped and she pulled her hand back, staring up into my face. "I showed up," I said, in answer to her question.

Her eyes darted away from mine but when I continued with, "But I didn't follow through with the shoot. I left and I didn't come back," her eyes darted back to my face and I thought I saw her shoulders relax.

"Oh," she said. "Well that's… good."

I nodded, not breaking eye contact. God, I wanted to kiss her so badly.

"I looked up your films," she blurted out, her eyes widening.

I froze, my eyes narrowing. What. The. Fuck?

She brought her hands up to her cheeks and looked down. "I'm sorry. That was highly inappropriate to say… I–"

"Why'd you look up my films, Grace?" I asked quietly. I hated knowing that she had seen those. I hated thinking of her sitting at her computer watching me fuck other women. It made me sick. I looked away, out to the water. "Goddamn, Grace, why'd you do that?" I muttered.

A feeling that I hadn't felt in a really damn long time slithered its way through my belly–shame. I had moved past that, and so to feel it now, in front of Grace, sucked.

What did she think about me now that she had seen that? I tensed my jaw. That life felt so far away, so distant from who I was now. But Grace didn't necessarily see it that way.

"Hey," she said, leaning her head to the side to get my attention. I turned back toward her. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you that. It was so long ago, and–"

"Why did you do it?" I asked, trying to relax.

She shook her head slightly. "At the time, I guess I just needed a reminder about why I shouldn't contact you," she said, her eyes filling with sadness.

I breathed out harshly and turned to face her fully. "Did you miss me?" I asked.

She nodded. "So much, Carson," she said softly.

"Me too," I said quietly back. "It's why I came to see you before I shipped out. I wanted to tell you."

She smiled sadly and opened her mouth to say something when a collective "Oooh" sounded from the group around us and the water show started.

We stood watching it for several minutes and then I moved closer to Grace, our sides barely touching, but the heat of her felt like it was scorching me, moving through me, taking me over. I wanted to move behind her and hold her in my arms like I had the last time we were here. And then I wanted to take her back to my house and–I slammed the brakes on that line of thought. It was only going to lead to pain on several different levels, most notably at the moment, a serious case of blue balls.

She looked up at me and our eyes met, something electric passing between us. She moved back quickly as if she'd been jolted and sucked in a breath. "We should go," she said.

"It's not over," I said back quietly.

Her eyes widened and her lips parted slightly as we drank each other in. I gestured my head toward the water. "The show," I said quietly.

She blinked as if coming out of a trance. "I… I work early. I should… get home…" she trailed off.

I looked at her for another few seconds. "Okay," I said, turning and leading her through the light crowd of people still watching the water.

We walked back to my truck, and I held the door open for her and took her hand to help her climb inside. Another rush of warmth passed through our hands and she glanced down at me quickly, her lips parting slightly. She pulled her hand away and got inside. I walked around to my side and got in and started the engine.

I exited the garage and started driving back toward Summerlin. We were both quiet, thinking our own thoughts. The lines of Grace's body looked tense in my peripheral vision. It was clear that we still had the same chemistry we'd had the last time we were together. I wanted to see her again. But how was that supposed to happen exactly? I hadn't asked a lot about her fiancé, but I figured although he might accept one dinner out with an "old friend," he'd probably question two. He'd also probably frown upon me kissing his fiancé up against the door of her house when I dropped her off. But I had gotten a few signals that, fiancé or not, Grace might not be completely opposed to that–at least not physically. Need was pumping through my blood and I couldn't do a damn thing about it.

The ride went quickly as we both watched the scenery go by out the window. As I pulled in to Summerlin, I glanced at Grace and she was chewing on her lip again.

"What are you thinking?" I asked quietly. The mood between us had shifted.

She was silent for a minute before she said, "It's probably better if we don't see each other again."

"Better for whom?" I asked, a mixture of anger and fear filling my chest.

She looked at me. I could just make out her tense facial expression in the dark cab. I pulled up in front of her house and kept the engine idling.

"Better for me," she said. "Spending time with you tonight, it's brought up…" she trailed off.

"Brought up what, Grace?" I asked quietly, moving closer to her, her words making the anxiety in my chest fade slightly, hope taking over.

She closed her eyes for a couple beats. "Don't."

I stopped. "Don't what?"

Her eyes opened and we stared at each other. "Just don't," she whispered.

"Call it off, Grace," I ground out, suddenly filled with intense possessiveness and purpose. Why would fate bring us back together only to have us part a second time? I didn't want to say goodbye to her again. There were reasons I should, I knew that. But all the reasons other than her damn fiancé seemed far away and unimportant.

She choked out a bitter sounding laugh. "Call it off?" she repeated.

"Yes, your engagement, call it off," I said, moving in closer and putting my hand on the back of her neck and pulling her face in to mine. Her eyes moved down to my lips.

"Stop," she whispered, sounding desperate, her voice cracking.

I froze and then moved back, letting go of her neck. Her eyes flew up to mine and a small sound came up from her throat right before she thrust her face into mine, taking her own hand and wrapping it around the back of my neck to pull me in closer. Our lips connected and a shuddery sigh passed between us. I had no idea who it originated from. All I knew was that the mixture of lust and relief that flooded through me at the feel of her mouth on mine, was so intense that my whole body vibrated with it.

She slipped her tongue into my mouth first as she scooted closer to me so that our chests were pressed together too. I swallowed the sexy sounds she made as our tongues met and tangled, tasting each other, stroking, and caressing. I re-familiarized myself with the taste of her, the feel of her mouth moving on mine, the tiny sounds she made. God, I had missed this, everything about her, everything–

She pulled back on a small sob. "This isn't right. I knew you were going to do this to me," she said, her voice breaking.

I was silent for a second, gathering myself, anger filling my chest. "Do this to you?" I asked. "Buttercup, I think you were the one who jumped me."

Her head whipped up, her eyes narrowing. "I… you! I…" she made a frustrated sound of anger in her throat and started reaching for the door of the cab.

I reached out and grabbed her hand. "Call it off," I repeated again, only this time I said it quietly, as gently as possible.

She stared at me for a couple beats, threw the door open and fled inside her house. I watched her door close behind her.

I started up my truck and roared off. "Fuck!" I yelled. That had not gone well.

CHAPTER 25

Grace

I slammed the door to my house behind me and took a deep, shuddery breath. That had not gone well. The worst part was that it had gone well for a while there. I had had fun with him. I had laughed more than I had in a long time. But then that damn sexual tension slipped in and ruined everything. How had I even doubted that it would? This was Carson Fucking Stinger I was talking about here. I had duped myself again because I wanted to go out to dinner with him. I was such an idiot. And I had kissed him. Oh my God. That was cheating. I had cheated on Alex. And Carson was right, it had been me who jumped on him. I had told him to stop and he had, and then the stark disappointment that had filled me was so intense that I practically attacked him–as if I was suffocating and his mouth contained life saving air. I let out a sob.

It was all ruined now too. I had come to such a good place where Carson was concerned. We had parted the first time knowing we couldn't be a part of each other's lives, but under the circumstances, we had parted on the best possible terms. And I had been thankful for the role he played in my life. When he came to mind, I thought of him with… fondness, I guess. But now! We had just parted again, only this time, not on good terms. He had ruined it all. Just like that, I was back to feeling unpleasant emotions for Carson Stinger.

I made my way over to my couch on legs that felt like rubber and sunk down onto it, not even bothering to take my jacket off.

Anger filled me. Why did I have to run into him again? Why did he have to live in Vegas? I had been going along–happy, fine! And suddenly he was back, shaking my life up, making me question things again, just like he had the first time. Rage filled me. I grabbed my phone out of my purse. I was going to call him and give him a piece of my mind. Who did he think he was exactly anyway? How arrogant could one person be? Asking me to call off my engagement five minutes after he walked back into my life? Seriously? I stared at my phone and then threw it down on the couch when I realized I didn't even have his number anyway. I took a deep breath. That was probably for the best. Angry calling could be as bad as drunk texting. Bad idea all around. I went to my room and got ready for bed. This day needed to end.

My alarm went off at five a.m. and I dragged myself out of bed. I had not slept well. Not at all. I was cranky and yes, still angry. I couldn't identify exactly what I was so angry about other than the fact that Carson had managed to tilt my world on its axis–again. I should have bolted out of that hotel like a bat out of hell the second I laid eyes on him, standing there in all his muscled, male beauty. He was the devil. A sometimes sweet, funny devil, true. But wasn't that just like Lucifer himself? That's how he lured you in, ready to give up your very soul for one taste of those sinful lips, flashing that damn dimple for extra measure.

I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my hair and my body, and then plunked myself down on my bed. I was being way too dramatic here. Okay, so he had taken me off balance. But so what? All I had to do was make it clear to him that I was happy with my life, I was not going to call off my engagement for him, a man whom I had spent one weekend with once upon a time–a man I really didn't know when you got right down to it. Or did I? I frowned to myself.

What did I really know about Alex? I knew his family. They lived in San Francisco and I had met them several times when they visited Alex in Vegas. Lovely people. I knew that Alex had wanted to be a lawyer since he was a kid. He was kind, gave to charities and loved to read murder mysteries. He was a brilliant lawyer. We never fought and he was always considerate. Was he boring like Abby had said? Okay, maybe a little, if I was totally honest. So what? He was also stable, and solid and he didn't have my emotions in a constant free fall like some people did. I wouldn't hurt Alex, I couldn't.

I dressed in my dark gray suit and did my makeup. Then I blew my hair dry and went to put it up in a twist. I halted and looked at myself in the mirror and decided to keep it down instead.

I pulled my jacket on, grabbed a bagel, slid my heels on by the door and locked up behind me. On the way to work, I pulled through a Starbucks drive-through and ordered a Grande Latté.

By the time I had drunk half my coffee, I felt better, calmer. I just needed to remember a few important facts. Carson had fulfilled his role in my life all those years ago. He had helped me realize some important things–things that made my life better. But he was my past. Alex was my future. Alex also wasn't a prior porn star like Carson, who probably had a different woman in his bed every night of the week. I gripped the steering wheel, feeling another surge of anger. I wanted to scream at him. Look what he was doing to me! I was like a crazy person.

I made a spur of the moment decision.

I made a series of turns and pulled into the garage at Trilogy. I needed to get this over with right now. He needed to know exactly how I felt about him. I would be kind but firm and re-iterate to him the fact that I was one hundred percent certain about marrying Alex. I couldn't live, couldn't focus, if this wasn't put to rest. I just wanted my life to go back to the way it had been two days ago.

I parked my car and made my way upstairs, weaving through the lobby and the casino until I was in the hallway where his office was located. The door was closed. Maybe he didn't even get in this early. I paused, but took a deep breath and knocked twice on the door. I heard voices and some scuffling. A few seconds later, the door was pulled open and Carson was standing there in suit pants and a crisp, white shirt, a girl in a small, gold cocktail uniform appearing behind him, straightening her outfit. His eyes filled with surprise when he saw me.

"Thanks, boss," the girl said, stopping to wipe some imaginary lint off Carson's shirt and then winking at him, glaring at me, and stepping around us.

Carson nodded at her and turned back to me, warmth filling his eyes. "Hi," he smiled, leading me into his office and closing the door behind us.

"Were you… in here… with that girl?" I demanded.

Carson parked himself on the edge of his desk and crossed his arms, his biceps pulling the white cotton of his shirt tight.

Amusement, and something that looked like satisfaction, lit his eyes and he chuckled.

"What's funny?" I asked.

"You. You're jealous."

"Jealous?" I sputtered. "I'm not jealous. I just don't see how you could ask me to call off my engagement last night and then be in here with another girl this morning!"

"Did you call off your engagement?" he asked quietly.

"What? No! No," I said, shaking my head.

"No?"

"No."

We stared at each other for a few beats, my pulse kicking up another notch and a tick starting in his jaw.

I stood up taller, conjuring up my resolve and putting my hands on my hips. "I just came here to tell you we couldn't see each other again."

"You already told me that last night," he said.

"Yes, well I did, but I'm telling you again. To make sure you heard me."

"That's why you came here? To make sure I heard you?" he asked, narrowing his eyes.

I nodded my head. "Hmm hmm. To make sure you heard me," I repeated.

"I was two feet away from you when you said it, Grace."

I rolled my eyes. "Well, I know you heard me. But I want to make sure you know, you heard me."

Carson stared at me, his eyes narrowed and his chest rising and falling steadily. I could practically see the wheels turning in that head of his.

Suddenly, he stood up from the edge of his desk and stalked toward me. I backed up, but he kept coming until my back hit the wall. My pulse skyrocketed and I sucked in air. The delicious smell of him, clean soap and Carson Stinger, was suddenly all around me, intoxicating me.

"Yes, I heard you, Buttercup. Did you hear me when I told you I didn't agree?" he asked.

He leaned in toward me, taking one finger to lift my chin so that we were staring at each other eye to eye. He studied me for a few seconds. "Look at you, Buttercup. You're all worked up–that brain of yours going a million miles a minute, isn't it? You've been trying to solve this problem in your head since you jumped out of my truck last night, haven't you? Maybe since you walked out of this hotel yesterday afternoon. It's got you all twisted up, turned inside out. How'd you sleep last night, Grace? Did you want to shut that brain of yours off? Give the control over to me? Let me take charge until you were mindless, the only thing coursing through your system, pure pleasure? Wouldn't that have been sweet relief, Buttercup?" His voice was like silk, flowing over me, making me shiver with want.

I stared up at him as his eyes glittered down at me. Yes I wanted that. God, I wanted that so badly I ached. I wanted him, needed him. The memory of what he could do for me was so vivid in my mind, I wanted to scream with frustration.

Carson moved closer to me, putting his hands up on the wall to either side of my head, and bringing his thigh up so that my core was resting on it. He reached a hand down and lifted my skirt up so that I was pressed firmly down on him. I moaned out with the pleasure, pressing down harder, my eyelids fluttering closed. God, what was I doing? Suddenly, I couldn't think.

"Does he do this for you, Grace?" he leaned forward and whispered in my ear. "Do you scream out his name when you come?" My eyes felt heavy and I was vaguely aware that I was moving on his leg, bolts of pure arousal pulsating through me. God, it had been so long.

"Answer me, Buttercup, does he do this for you?" Carson ground out, sounding angry now. My eyes focused on him, but skittered away at his question. He froze and I cried out in frustration.

He brought his right hand down and took one finger and put it on my chin again, turning my face until I was forced to look into his eyes. He studied my face for a couple beats. "You haven't slept with him," he said finally, almost expressionless.

My eyes tried to look somewhere else but the rest of his fingers came up to grip my chin, not allowing me to look away. "Why, Grace?" he breathed, his eyes so intense, I felt like they would scald me.

I tried to shake my head. "I… I just…," I whispered.

He studied my face again for several seconds and he grunted, as if he was satisfied with something that he saw. And then his thigh started moving against my core again and I moaned out. I was lost, the sweet relief of the mindlessness he was bringing me more addicting than any drug I could imagine.

"Do you want me to stop?" he asked. "If you do, just say the word, and I'll stop."

I shook my head from side to side. "No, don't stop. Don’t stop," I breathed out, sweet, heady pleasure coursing through my veins.

As he moved, he started talking, "I'm not going to play games with you, Grace," he said, his voice smooth and low. "I got a whole lotta shit that I'm pushing aside, against my better judgment, to give things a shot between us."

His hands came down from the wall and moved up my ribcage, opening my jacket. "Why?" I breathed.

He chuckled. "Because apparently when it comes to you, I'm a damn fool," he said, but I heard the smile in his voice even though my eyes had fluttered closed again.

His hands came up to my breasts and his thumbs rubbed my nipples through my thin blouse. I gasped out, a surge of moisture flowing down to my core. Something was… I should stop this, I just… I couldn't think. I didn't want to think.

"I never could purge you from my blood, Buttercup," he whispered. I moaned. I could feel an orgasm just beyond my reach and I wanted it. I wanted it so badly, I was desperate. "I don't think I ever wanted to," he said, moving closer to my ear. "I want you to give us a chance too," he said.

He leaned in and started kissing up my neck, his lips as soft as butterflies against my skin, his thigh circling faster against my core, his thumbs moving over my nipples. I started panting.

"Have you fucked anyone since me?" he asked. I was brainless, mindless, nothing mattered except the intense pleasure just beyond my grasp.

"No! No!" I admitted. "Ahhh. Oh God, Carson. No, not since you," I breathed out.

"God, I like that," he growled into my ear and then kissed up my neck, licking and sucking the skin gently. His movements sped up, tipping me over the edge, intense waves of pleasure washing through me, making me shudder against him. Just as I was about to scream out, he plastered his mouth on top of mine, drinking me in, moaning himself, as I panted into his mouth.

As I came down, my foggy brain clearing, and reality rushing back in, I looked up dazedly into his eyes.

He was gazing at me intensely, his eyes dark with hunger, but with something tender too. I was mesmerized.

He opened his mouth to speak when there was a loud knock on the door. It jolted me fully back to reality. I gasped and started moving away from him, shimmying my skirt down over my hips as he took his leg down and moved away from me too.

"Stay there," he said quietly to me. "Who is it?" he called out.

"It's me, man," I heard from the other side of the door.

Carson swore under his breath and glanced over at me, his eyes running down my body to make sure I was decent, I assumed.

He pulled the door open. "Hey, Leland. What's up?"

"They're almost here," I heard him say.

Carson paused and huffed out a breath. "Okay, I'll be right there," he said.

I heard the man on the other side of the door let out a small laugh. "You got a woman in there or what?"

The reality of what had just happened washed over me. I smoothed my skirt down and walked around Carson, moving out the door. "Um, if I have any more questions, I'll call you," I said, stepping around a large man about our age with dark, almost black hair, wearing a dark blue suit.

I caught the surprised expression on his face just as I turned and started walking quickly back up the hallway, toward the casino.

"Grace–" Carson called out, but I ignored him and sped up, my legs weak as I practically ran to my car.

As I pulled out of the garage, I waited to turn onto the street as an entourage of black limousines and SUV's with international flags, made their way in front of me and pulled to a stop in front of Trilogy. I craned my neck to watch as Carson walked out the front doors of the hotel and shook hands with a man getting out of the first limousine. I supposed foreign dignitaries stayed in Vegas all the time. I looked away and turned in the other direction, driving away as quickly as possible.

Carson

I was alone in the small room. I walked to the corner and stood the tiny Dixie cup upright. It had fallen over with my last throw. I moved back to my chair and sat down and aimed again.

"He shoots! He scores!" I said quietly as my dime plunked straight into the small cup.

I retrieved the dime and shot a couple more times, making each shot easily. I was bored. I stood looking at the closed door for a few seconds, and finally walked over to it and turned the doorknob.

Someone was usually in here with me, but today there wasn't anyone. They hadn't had anyone extra to "babysit" me. I rolled my eyes. I was hardly a baby. I was eight years old. The man of the house.

I knew what my mom was doing and it made me sick. It made my stomach turn to know that she was under the covers with some man, naked, while they made a movie. She called herself an actress, but I had heard other people, people who whispered behind my back, call her a whore. I knew what a whore was, of course. I knew it meant that she screwed people for money. And I knew it was true. Every time I asked her to stop doing the job she was doing, she would yell at me and ask me how else I expected to eat.

I guessed it would also mean that she had to stop taking the pills and sleeping for most of the day.

I snuck around the corner and heard the music coming from the front room. I also heard grunts and other strange noises. I knew they were sex sounds, and that I should go back to the room they had told me to stay in. But for some reason, my legs kept moving forward.

I peeked my head around the corner and my eyes grew big, and I put my hand over my mouth to keep myself from yelling out. My mom was in the center of a bed and there were three men around her, all naked. One was behind her, slapping his privates into her and she had another man's penis in her mouth. The man to her right was yanking on himself and as I watched, he grunted and streams of white pee went all over her hair and face.

I wanted to run over to her and push them off of her. I wanted to kick them all in the face and stomp on them. A protectiveness for my mom rose up in me and I choked out a small sound, tears springing into my eyes.

I ran toward her and suddenly, she was on the bed on her back and I was over her choking out, "Mom! Mom!" She was beaten and half dead, blood running out of every orifice. She looked up at me through cracked, swollen lids and… smiled. The sweetest smile I had ever seen. As she smiled, her face transformed, her features growing younger and prettier. "Ara," I breathed out.

I shot up in bed, panting. My phone was ringing.

"Hello," I said, my voice groggy, even to my own ears.

It was Leland. "Hey Carson, Josh's bail was just set. Two million."

I closed my eyes for a beat. "Can we cover it?"

"We? No. Trilogy? Yes. I'm on my way to the bank now. I just wanted to let you know."

"Okay, keep me posted."

"Will do."

I hung up and collapsed back on my pillow, glancing at the clock quickly. I had slept in after working late the night before, and then tossing and turning most of the night once I finally fell into bed. I stared up at the ceiling. That fucking dream. I'd had it before but not for a couple months now. I wondered if it was because Grace was back in my life–sort of. Shit, I'd messed up with her. I was having a hard time feeling too sorry about it because seeing her come again was fucking fantastic, but I had scared her off. Kissing her in my truck the night before had just gotten me all crazy possessive, and fucking horny. Let's call a spade a spade. And so when she had burst into my office, talking about him again, I had taken charge of her in a way that I knew she'd probably respond to–and she had. And she'd asked me not to stop. But the fuck of it was, she probably regretted it. And that made me feel like shit.

I had found out that she had never slept with her fiancé. The fucking glee that had soared through my body with that knowledge was off the charts. But why hadn't she? That was the question. We needed to talk. And the sooner, the better.

Grace lived in her head a lot, and she was hard on herself. I had known that about her an hour after meeting her four and a half years ago. And so now she was walking around convincing herself that she was a bad person who had done something immoral to her fiancé, which, wasn't entirely untrue. But that wasn't going to help me out. She was going to feel guilty now, and guilt didn't bode well for her telling him to take a hike like I had asked her to. I needed to fix things. I wanted her. Plain and simple. I had told her that I was pushing a lot of shit aside to give the two of us a shot. That was true, but it wasn't… I couldn't push a lot of the shit I had going on aside, and some of it, I'd be asking her to push aside, or at least accept. Shit, this was complicated. If she'd just tell me she wanted what I wanted, we could try to work through it together. But before that, I couldn’t risk it. It just wasn't possible. Yeah, we needed to talk.

I swung my legs out of bed and headed toward the shower.

CHAPTER 26

Grace

I brought my legs up under me and pulled the blanket around my shoulders, leaning back on my couch. I had just gotten home from the office, after a twelve hour day, pulled on my p.j.'s, turned on the TV, and pulled a blanket around myself. It was eight o'clock and I hadn't eaten dinner yet, and I was starving. But a few minutes of couch time felt like the priority.

Of course, the first person that came to my mind was Carson. I had somewhat successfully kept the thoughts of him at bay yesterday after I had run out of his office, and then today as well. Part of it was self-preservation, but I knew part of it was the mind-blowing orgasm I had had on his leg up against the wall. I groaned in embarrassment and brought my hands up to my cheeks, feeling the heat in my system rise just at the memory alone. God, I had told him I couldn't see him again and then humped his leg like some horny, little yap dog. Mixed message much? It was beyond humiliating.

I was a professional. I showed up at work every day in conservative suits and sensible shoes. In court, I was efficient and confident. In my personal life, I paid my bills on time, called my dad at least once a week, and was a good friend and an honest person. But enter Carson Stinger and suddenly I was a crazed, basket case. A nutjob. A lying, deceiving nutjob who let him manhandle me against his office wall. And he hadn't even had to work very hard to get me there. I had practically begged him. I was embarrassed and ashamed of myself.

But the overwhelming emotion I was feeling was sadness. I had betrayed Alex. I was a terrible person. And worse, I had told Carson that I hadn't slept with Alex. I shouldn't have told him that. Not only was it none of his business, but it was going to give him the wrong idea. It wasn't that I wasn't attracted to Alex–it was just that everything had gone so quickly with us, we had started dating practically the day I moved to Vegas, gotten engaged after just a couple months and were talking about getting married as soon as this Spring. We had done other stuff, of course, I just wanted to wait until we were married to have sex. I hadn't even told Abby we were waiting, because I knew she'd give me flack. And okay, maybe it was a little old-fashioned, but why not? I thought it was romantic. And Alex, being the gentleman that he was, was okay with that. I thought the anticipation added some spice. I thought–

I was startled out of my thoughts by a loud, pounding knock on my door. I furrowed my brow. Who the heck knocked like that?

I got up, leaving the blanket behind me on the couch, walking to the door in my cotton p.j. pants and white tank top.

I didn't have a peephole on my door so I called, "Who is it?"

"It's me, Grace," I heard a deep voice say. Crap! Carson.

I stood on the other side of the door biting my thumbnail for a minute, thinking about what I should do.

"Grace, open the door," he finally said from the other side. "Please," he added after a couple seconds.

I sighed and pulled the door open, the cool, December night air hitting me.

Carson stood there in all his masculine perfection, wearing a pair of dark jeans and a leather jacket. He was so damn good-looking, I hated it. I really did. It would be a lot easier to dismiss him if he was a fugly troll. Life was cruel that way.

Carson's eyes moved down my body and stopped at my chest. I realized I wasn't wearing a bra and that I was sure the cold had made my nipples harden. I crossed my arms.

"What do you want, Carson?" I asked. I was tired.

"Can I come in? I just want to talk for a minute and then I'll leave." He looked at me beseechingly.

I paused but stepped back, letting him in. I supposed we did need to put this to rest, since I hadn't exactly done a very good job the day before.

He walked past me and then stood waiting as I closed the door. I didn't lock it though. He'd be leaving soon.

I walked past him and parked myself back on the couch, bringing the blanket back up around me. He followed me in and sat on the opposite side of the couch, leaning forward, his forearms resting on his thighs.

"Josh Garner made bail this morning," he said. "I guess you know that."

"Yes," I said back. "A bail bondsman posted it." I frowned. The bail was too much for a bondsman. I thought someone else had to have posted it. I didn't know who. But I wasn't going to talk to Carson about that now. If he'd even know.

He nodded, looking at me, but not saying a word. It looked like he was struggling with whether to say something. Finally, he shook his head slightly and looked away. When he looked back, he said, "We should talk about yesterday morning. I owe you an apology."

I let out a breath. "Carson…" I leaned back, bringing my hands up over my face. I ran them back through my hair and looked over at him. He was staring at me intently.

I laughed slightly and shook my head.

"What?" he asked.

"You don't owe me an apology. I let you do what you… did. I wanted what you did." I looked away. "That was probably obvious." I felt my cheeks heat.

"But," I went on, "it wasn't right. On my part. Not on yours. You're not the one who made promises to someone and broke them." With my words, sadness washed through me. I was a terrible person.

He was silent for a second, his forehead creased, seeming to be working out a puzzle.

"What I was trying to say with my apology," he said softly, "is that I'm sorry for coming on so strong." He paused, squinting very slightly as if he wasn't exactly sure if he really was sorry for that. After a couple seconds he went on, "But I meant every word I said. Every word. No games on my part."

I shook my head slowly. "Carson, you had just been messing around with a cocktail waitress in your office before I walked in!" I yelled out.

He jolted slightly and then looked at me for a beat before he burst out laughing.

"I wasn't doing anything with Kira. Yeah, she throws herself at me every day of the week, but I've never touched her." He paused studying me for a second. "You didn't realize that after what we did?" he asked, pursing his lips.

"How would I know that?" I shot back. "I barely know you."

"You know me better than anyone, Buttercup," he clipped out, his eyes flaring. And then more gently, "And I know you better than anyone. Even after all this time."

My mouth fell open. "Well, that's presumptuous. I think my fiancé knows me better than anyone."

As he stared at me, I saw a small tick in his jaw. "Really Grace?" he raised an eyebrow.

I narrowed my eyes. I knew exactly what he was referring to. "I should have never told you that. It's none of your business and I refuse to speak about it with you again. Look at us! We can't even spend three minutes together without fighting or kissing!"

He laughed. "Is that such a bad thing?" he asked.

I narrowed my eyes at him, but didn't say anything. "Yes! Yes it is. I need to focus… I need to… stop cheating on my fiancé!" I blurted out.

Carson's face went completely serious. "You're not in love with him, Grace. I don't want you to cheat on your fiancé either. Break it off." He looked into my eyes. "Please."

I stared at him, emotions rushing through my body too quickly and too numerous to investigate.

A light knock sounded. I jumped slightly and Carson's eyes flew to the door. "Expecting someone?" he asked.

"Oh my God, Alex said he might come by with dinner. I thought it had gotten too late. That's probably him," I hissed out.

Carson stood up and I jumped up next to him. "Break it off with him, Grace," he said, starting to go toward the door.

"Wait!" I whispered. "You can't open that door!"

He turned and walked back to me in just a couple steps, taking my face in his hands. His expression was tight. "I haven't been with anyone else either," he said, his eyes studying my face. "Not since you." My eyes widened and my mouth dropped open. "What?" I laughed out nervously. I was caught off guard, shocked. How could that possibly be true? In almost five years, Carson Stinger, sex-on-a-stick, man-whore, sex-God hadn't been with anyone else? I opened my mouth to speak and then snapped it closed. He continued to study my face, and I continued to study his. Finally, I breathed out, "Why?"

He opened his mouth to speak when a second knock sounded, this time louder.

"This won't look good. Please, you need to go out the back door, Carson," I whispered. "Can you do it quietly?"

He kept looking at me for a few beats and then his face broke into a slow grin, that magical dimple doing its worst. God, he was… breathtaking. My heart sped up at the sheer beauty of him. "I might have some expertise in stealthy getaways, Buttercup," he said, letting go of my face and moving toward the sliding glass door that led to the small patio at the back of my house.

My mouth fell open, words stuck in my throat and he was gone.

Carson

As I moved around the side of Grace's house, I heard her front door open and a male voice say, "Dinner delivery! What took you so long to answer?"

He sounded like a fucking dickwad. I shook my head slightly. That wasn't really fair. If Grace liked him, he was probably a decent guy. And that was the part that fucked with me even more. I really wanted to hate him.

"Oh, I was getting out of the shower!" I heard Grace lie.

I clenched my jaw and walked to my truck, parked in front of her neighbor's house. I hated sneaking out like I was some kind of thief. But I had made it very clear what I wanted. Now I just had to hope she figured out that she wanted the same thing.

I clenched my jaw. Maybe Grace and Alex weren't fucking, but I still bet he was in there holding her and kissing her. Yeah, I really wanted to hate him.

I got up into my truck and sat there for a minute. I had told her that I hadn't been with anyone either. She had laughed as if that was the most unbelievable thing in the world. I guess I would have thought so too if the last "me" I knew was from five years ago. I wanted to explain why. I wanted to tell her what I'd gone through. I longed to open up to Grace. I hadn't opened up to anyone since her–not in any true sense. Jesus, I just wanted her in every way possible. She was aggravating as all hell, but what did I expect? We had run into each other three days ago and I was asking her to change her whole life for me. But I was willing to make concessions for her too. She just didn't realize the extent of it yet.

I started my truck up and drove the five minutes home. All these years, I had thought of her and not known where she was, what was going on in her life. Now I knew she was five minutes from me. And it hurt worse than knowing she was a continent away.

CHAPTER 27

Grace

Christmas was in a week. I immersed myself in last minute shopping and work, including the Garner case. The trial was set for the end of January and so I had time to prepare my case, not that there was very much new evidence. The autopsy on the victim had come back and other than the obvious cause of death, a gunshot wound to her head, there was no physical trauma, no health issues, and no drugs in her system. Even more interesting, from what the M.E. could tell, was that she was a virgin. That put a kink in the whole, prostitution-pick-up-gone-wrong motive theory. Still, the DNA evidence was inscrutable. The accused's blood was at the scene on the rock, and the victim's blood was found on clothing at his apartment. Not to mention that the bullet removed from the victim was from Josh Garner's gun. I didn't think we'd need to provide a motive with evidence like that.

There were no witnesses to prepare other than the M.E. and a DNA expert, so I felt like I was on top of the case. Which was good because I had taken a week of vacation time to go home for Christmas. Alex was coming with me and I couldn't wait to spend family time, basking in the comfort of home and tradition. I needed it for the mental health it would bring. I was in dire need of mental health.

I hadn't talked to Carson since he had left my house via the back, sliding glass door a couple of days before. I needed space. Everything with him had come on so fast, so unexpectedly. Just like the first time. I guess that was just us. Not that there was an us. But still. I was reeling. And I was still feeling guilty and brittle over what I'd done to Alex, something I didn't have any intention of telling him about. We weren't married yet. Yes, technically, I knew I had cheated on him. But, would it really hurt him if he never knew that once his fiancé had kissed another man? Oh okay, and had an intense orgasm on another man's muscular thigh as he held her up against his office wall? I groaned out loud in shame and slapped my own forehead as I sat at my office desk. God, I hated myself.

Apparently, Carson was respecting the fact that I needed space from him because he hadn't contacted me. That was good. Although I was intensely curious about why he hadn't been with anyone else since me in almost five years. I wanted to ask him. And I had to admit to myself that a thrill raced up my spine whenever I thought about that. Was it simply because he had been overseas most of that time? That must be it. Still, weren't there willing women in ports all over the world? And why hadn't he taken Kira up on her advances? What were his reasons? I shouldn't care so much about knowing. After all, I had my own life now–and my own man to think about. I shouldn't be thinking so much about Carson. But I couldn't help it. God help me.

I had also been wondering more and more if Carson had anything to do with the case against Josh Garner. They were friends who had a military history and had both moved to Vegas at the same time, for essentially the same reason. That didn't mean Carson knew more than he had told Detective Powers when she interviewed him. But I got the feeling that he did. Add to that the fact that another teammate owned the hotel they both worked for and the large bail that had been posted, and questions kept rolling through my mind. Something nagged at my brain. There was a connection, I just couldn't fathom what it could be.

I sighed loudly and sat back in my chair. Getting away for a week would be good. I'd talk to my sisters–get a better perspective on this whole clusterfuck of a situation. Yes, that would be good for me. Just what I needed.

I worked until nine o'clock that night. Alex had started his vacation a day early as he'd put all his Christmas shopping off until the last minute and needed the day to hit the mall. Just like a man. I wondered where Carson was spending Christmas. I knew about his mom, and if their relationship was still the same as it'd been when I first met him, then surely he wouldn't be going back to L.A. I frowned and shook my head slightly, trying to clear the thoughts of Carson away. Whatever he was doing for Christmas was not my business.

When I got home that night, I immersed myself in laundry and packing and by the time I was done with that, I was exhausted. Alex would be picking me up at five the next morning in order to catch our flight. I put my p.j.'s on and got into bed.

Carson

I sat across from Josh as he leaned back on the couch in the condo I had gotten him to secretly. I was on the phone with Leland. I answered the question he had just asked me.

"Yeah, we made it. No one followed us. Let me call you on my way back."

"Sounds good, thanks, Carson," Leland said and hung up.

I pushed "end" on my phone and looked back at Josh.

"How you doing?" I asked.

He sighed. "Great, Carson. The last couple weeks have been like a dream come true."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "What happened, Josh? We weren't supposed to split up. Number one rule."

"Yeah, no shit. I fucking made up that rule," he said bitterly.

I studied him. The guy was on trial for first-degree murder. I was gonna give him a break. "What happened?" I repeated.

He sighed, scrubbing his hands down his face. "You guys were on your way out with the merchandise. I was clearing the last room of the warehouse when I heard a girl crying. I thought we had missed one. I turned back and went to investigate and lights out, man. The next thing I knew, I was waking up in some abandoned house with a lump on my head the size of a beach ball. I made it home and the police were knocking at the door an hour later. That's all I know."

I took a deep breath. "Just like we thought. An ambush. Fuck. You know we went back in for you, right? We realized you were gone and went back in for you. You had disappeared like a ghost, Josh."

"I know you'd never leave a man behind. I didn't doubt that for a second."

I nodded. "He knew we were coming," I said.

Josh sighed, nodding his head. "Yeah. And he fucking shot a girl in the head, Carson."

"He's a sick fuck. We already knew that."

He frowned and then took a deep breath, lacing his fingers together behind his head and leaning back. "Yeah."

I studied him for a second. "All right. I gotta get out of here. We are going to figure this out. Dylan is working on it, we're all trying to figure this out. We're gonna get a break, okay? We've got your back."

Josh closed his eyes for beat. "Never doubted it for a second." He looked up at me. "Thanks, Carson."

I nodded and stood up. "Stay put. Anything you need will be delivered. The police know where you are, but no one else does and you cannot come near Trilogy. No going out to pick up some woman. No going next door to meet your pretty neighbor. Stay put."

"Sounds like fun," he said. "Merry Fucking Christmas," but when I frowned at him he said, "Yeah, yeah, stay put. I got it."

"Hey, beats MRE's in a cave, right?"

He chuckled softly. "Barely. But yeah."

I smiled and nodded and walked to the door. Twenty minutes later, I was pulling into the garage at Trilogy.

I walked into Leland's office later that night. "You taking off?" he asked.

I sat down in the chair across from him. "I don't know if I should. If there's anything–"

"There's not. If you stay here over the holiday, you'll just end up pacing in your office. It's better if we don't show our faces out very much. Dylan is staying here to work on the computer side, but there's nothing any of us can do to help him with that. Plus, if anything comes up, you're only six hours away. It's probably best that you get out of town."

I nodded. "All right. The girls all taken care of?"

"Yeah. I wish we had gotten them all out before the holiday. I don't like to have to keep the guards posted over Christmas. But that's the way it goes. We just didn't get the paperwork in time. Dylan did everything he could."

"I know. Sucks, but another week and it'll all be worked out."

"Right. Have a Merry Christmas, man." He stood up and walked around his desk to shake my hand and clap me on the back in a bro hug. I smiled. "You too, Leland."

"I will. Drive safely."

I nodded and walked out, closing his door behind me.

I grabbed my duffle bag out of my office and made my way to my truck. Fifteen minutes later, I was driving out of town.

I wondered where Grace was spending Christmas. She hadn't contacted me since the night I left her house. I wasn't going to harass her. I'd made it perfectly clear what I wanted. The ball was in her court. Still, that shit fucking stung. I had a shitload of stuff going on and I still couldn't stop thinking about her. I needed to get out of town.

I pressed down harder on the accelerator, putting Vegas behind me as quickly as I could.

CHAPTER 28

Grace

"I swear I forgot something," I said to Alex for the fifth time.

"Sweetie, you've gone through the list. You didn't forget anything. And if you did, you can replace it when we get there. Relax." He patted my knee.

I nodded distractedly as the plane doors opened and the line of people started to move forward. "Yeah…" I trailed off as we both stood up.

Alex grabbed our small suitcases from the overhead bin and I moved out in front of him, taking the handle of mine and pulling it up so that I could wheel it behind me.

I had woken up feeling jittery and just off. Maybe I was coming down with something. I wasn't sure. I was going home for the first time in a while. I should be feeling relaxed and excited. Instead, I couldn't shake a nagging feeling that I had left something behind, that something was wrong.

It didn't help that I had tossed and turned all night, sleep evasive, unable to shut my brain off. I was over-tired, that had to be it.

Plus, I was probably just a little nervous about this trip. Alex had only met my family once when they came to Vegas when I first moved there. We had just started dating at that point and we all went out to dinner. So this was a chance for Alex to really get to know them better. Which was good… right? I bit my lip.

We made our way through the terminal. We had an hour layover before our next flight to Dayton, and so we decided to get a bite to eat at one of the restaurants near our boarding gate.

We started down an escalator and I glanced over at the people traveling upwards, an old lady catching my eye. She smiled at me and winked. I startled, something so familiar about her… I looked back at her, craning my neck as she moved upwards and away from me, but she didn't look back.

As we traveled through the large airport, we passed a little girl sketching in a notebook. Just as we walked by her, she smiled and held it up to her mother who was standing in front of her. I turned my head to see what it was and time slowed as I saw the delicate, little, yellow flower she had drawn. I snapped my head forward, time resuming, and kept walking, something warm gliding down my spine.

When we got to the terminal where our gate would be boarding, we sat down at a table at a small bagel restaurant that served soup and sandwiches, and Alex went up to the counter to order lunch.

As I sat there waiting for him, I looked around. A man sitting at a table near the entrance, with his back to me, caught my eye. Short, wheat-colored hair and broad, muscular shoulders. My heart rate picked up and I sucked in a breath. Carson? It couldn't be. How? I started to stand, just as he did too, and air lodged in my chest. As he turned toward me, deep disappointment hit me in the gut and I almost let out a sob. It wasn't him. I sank back down in my chair, my hand gripping the table edge. I stared straight ahead for several minutes, the truth of what I was feeling washing through my soul. Oh God… it hit me, sitting right in the middle of a bagel restaurant in the Atlanta airport. It was Carson I was missing. It was Carson I was wanting. Carson. The one who made me feel out of control in so many ways–the one who was anything but safe.

Realization dawned like the first light of sunrise bursting over the horizon. He had come for me in D.C. He had come back for me after he changed his life. I almost cried out as the reality of that took over. I hadn't allowed myself to really think about it, but how would things have been different? I knew suddenly, that things would have been different because I would have jumped into his arms without a moment of hesitation. For whatever reason, that hadn't been our time. But it was our time now. My soul vibrated with the knowledge.

In that very instant, I knew it as sure as I knew my own name; I had chosen Alex because he was almost the exact opposite of Carson. And I had been afraid that if I didn't choose someone who was blatantly different in every way, that I would always compare the man I ended up with, to the man I really wanted.

I wanted Carson. I knew it with a surety that gripped my heart like a vice.

I had always wanted Carson.

Alex sat down with our tray of food and started doling it out.

"I can't marry you, Alex," I whispered.

His head snapped up and a confused smile washed over his handsome features.

"What?" he asked.

I closed my eyes for a couple beats. "I'm so sorry, Alex. I can't marry you," I repeated, looking into his eyes beseechingly. "I'm so sorry."

His hands had stalled at my words, but now he started splitting the food between us again.

"Grace, you're nervous about having me spend real time with your family. It's normal. It's a big step. Almost as big as getting engaged."

I shook my head. "No, Alex, please," I reached across the table and took his hands in mine, "listen to me."

He looked down at our hands and looked back up into my eyes and nodded his head. "Okay, Grace, I'm listening," he said quietly.

I licked my lips, my heart beating loudly in my ears. "I love you, Alex, but–"

"You're not in love with me," he finished hollowly.

My shoulders crumpled. "Yes." I looked into his eyes. "If you really search your heart, I think you'll realize that we were never right for each other as more than friends."

He tilted his head, studying my face, but not answering the question.

"I never, ever wanted to hurt you," I whispered.

He sighed, sadness filling his expression. "I guess I'm not completely surprised by this," he said. "And maybe you're right. I don't know. The timing has kind of taken me by surprise here." He paused, studying me again. "Is there someone else?"

I closed my eyes for a couple beats. "Yes. But he isn't the reason why we shouldn't get married." A tear slipped out of my eye and I swiped it away.

"Who is he?" he asked.

I closed my eyes for a beat and gathered myself before looking back at him. "Someone from my past… it doesn't matter. He's not the reason we're not right together, Alex, he just helped me to see what I already knew deep inside."

He nodded, studying my face. "Would you be breaking up with me if he didn't exist?"

"I think so, yes. Maybe not today, but yes. I'm so sorry," I repeated.

He sighed deeply. "Jesus, Grace." He paused, staring off behind me. After a minute, he said, "Maybe you're right. Maybe I knew it too. It still doesn't make it easy. Especially in the middle of an airport."

I grimaced and shook my head slightly. "I know… I just, I couldn't pretend everything was fine this week… I couldn't hurt you any more…" I repeated, a lump forming in my throat, my words dying.

More tears slid down my cheeks as we looked at each other across the table. Finally he said, "Work…"

"I'll find a new job if you want me to. I'd never make this worse for you. I–"

"Of course I don't want you to quit your job. I actually… well, I was going to talk to you about this when we got back from Ohio, but," he looked off to the side, frowning slightly, "I was offered an assistant D.A. position in San Francisco near my family. I didn't know how you'd feel about possibly moving…" He shook his head slightly as I frowned.

"You mean, you're considering taking it?" I asked softly.

He laughed a humorless laugh. "Well, like I said, I was going to talk to you, but… yeah, I was hoping you'd agree to move."

"Oh."

He cleared his throat. "Anyway, it might be right for both of us…"

"Alex, really, if you want to stay in Vegas and you think it would be awkward to work with me–"

He shook his head. "No, I think we're mature enough to work together. That's not it. I just… well, I have a lot to think about."

I nodded. "Okay, but if you change your mind about me leaving the office, will you tell me? I care so much about you."

"I know you do," he said sadly. He looked down for a second and then looked back up at me. "I'm going to get a flight to San Francisco from here and join my family. Will you be okay flying by yourself the rest of the way to Dayton?"

I nodded, more tears slipping down my face now.

He stood up, grabbed his still wrapped sandwich, pulled the handle up on his suitcase and walked around the table. He kissed me softly on the top of my head and said, "Be happy, Grace."

I watched him walk off and wiped away a few more tears. As sad as I felt, I knew that was the right thing to do. I had fooled myself into thinking it was the right thing to marry someone I had lukewarm feelings for. And that had been unfair to Alex too. He was a good man. He deserved to find a woman who brought out the best in him, not someone who saw him as a consolation prize. I grimaced, realizing what a mistake I had made in even continuing to date Alex. We should have just been friends all along.

I sat for a few minutes longer when suddenly it registered what song was playing over the airport sound system. Celine Dion's My Heart Will Go On played softly beneath the clanking of trays and the sound of chairs scooting across the tile floor. I laughed a soft laugh. As the song continued to play, purpose began flowing through my body.

I stood up and gathered my things, leaving the food at the table. I wasn't going to go to Dayton. I had a flight to change.

I had to pay a hefty fee, but I was able to book a flight back to Vegas that left a couple hours later. My body was humming with nerves but I felt filled with excitement, the knowledge that this choice was right, singing in my blood. I was going to Carson.

I wondered if I should call Trilogy and get a hold of him before I just showed up there. But I somehow knew it would be better to go to him in person, to explain my feelings while standing right in front of him. He had been brave, as usual, and put it right out there that he wanted us to try again, to try for real this time. And I had pushed him away not once, not twice, but all three times he made his feelings known to me. I had a good reason–another person's feelings to consider. But still, it had to have been hard for him to lay his pride on the line and to be rejected. I wanted to look in his eyes when I told him that I wanted him too. I had always wanted him. If I had been honest with myself, I would have known as soon as I looked in his eyes again, that I had never stopped. Fate had brought us back together and I was going to hold on tight and thank the heavens above that we had been given a second chance.

As I waited for my flight to board, I took my phone out of my purse and dialed Julia's number. I knew Julia had taken the week of Christmas off so she would be home.

"Hey sis," she answered, "I thought you'd still be flying right now."

I cleared my throat. "I'm actually about to board my flight, Jules," I said, "um, back to Vegas."

There was a slight pause. "Why? Is everything okay?" she asked, worriedly.

"Well, yes and no. I broke up with Alex."

She hissed in a breath. "Oh, Gracie, I'm so… I mean, are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm good, Julia. We… weren't right together. It took me a little while to figure it out, and I'm sad about that, but a little relieved too, I guess." I took a deep breath. "Anyway, I'm headed home, and Julia, I'm nervous to tell you this, but, I'm heading home because Carson Stinger is back in my life–you know, the man I spent a weekend with almost five years ago. And he's not a porn star anymore. He's a SEAL, or rather, a former SEAL who now works in security, and I, well, he wants me, I mean, I hope he still wants me." I paused. "My behavior toward him, well, it wasn't awesome and… anyway, I want him too and I'm going home to tell him that. And I hope you all will forgive me for ruining Christmas, but I have to do this because he taught me to follow my heart. And I am, and he's my heart." I started crying at this point, but I couldn't stop talking. "He's had my heart all this time, Jules, and that scared me so badly because I didn't think I could ever have him again. But–"

"Grace!" Julia came over the phone and I heard the huge smile in her voice, but then I heard a little sob in the background.

"Am I on speaker?" I whispered.

Julia and Audrey started laughing and crying and talking over each other.

"Girls! I can't even hear what you're saying. Audrey, I didn't even know you were there," I whispered into the phone and then turned around from the corner I had gone into so that no one could hear my call. Thankfully, no one was close enough to hear my teary rambling.

Audrey's voice came over the line. "Go get him, Gracie!" she laughed. "Alex wasn't for you. We knew that when we met him in Vegas."

"Why didn't you say anything?" I cried out.

"Because, we didn't know you'd get engaged to him! And then we felt badly. We were going to try to bring it up this week. But it would have been hard because he would have been here…. We, oh, it all worked out! Go get your guy, Grace. We'll talk dad down from the ledge."

I laughed, but then groaned. "Oh God, Dad. Will you tell him how sorry I am and that I'll explain. Tell him I'll call him as soon as I can, okay?"

"Don't call him too soon. We got this. Give him some time. It'll be fine. But you know Dad. He blows up first and asks questions later."

"Yeah, I know. Thank you so much. I love you girls so much."

"We love you too," they said together and I could hear the tears in their voices.

I hung up and went to the restroom to clean myself up. An hour later I was boarding my flight back to Las Vegas. Back to Carson.

I touched down in Vegas at seven o'clock that evening. I had been traveling all day and I was right back where I had started, and yet the course of my life had just changed dramatically. Alex had driven us to the airport, and so I took a cab back to my house to get my own car.

I wished I knew exactly where Carson lived. I would go there first to see if he was home. But if he wasn't at Trilogy today, hopefully they would call his home number for me and I could get in touch with him that way.

I ran inside quickly to take a shower, washing the day of travel off my body. I dried off and pulled on clean jeans and a black cashmere sweater and my black boots. I re-did my makeup and grabbed my coat and ran out the door again.

As I drove out of my neighborhood and toward Trilogy, a case of nerves attacked me. What if he had changed his mind and decided that he didn't want me anymore? No, that couldn't be the case, could it? Surely that wouldn't have changed in less than a week? He had said I was in his blood–all these years I had been in his blood. A thrill shot down my spine. He was in my blood too, and I could hardly survive one more minute without him knowing that.

He hadn't been with anyone else in all this time. A lump formed in my throat and I didn't know whether to laugh or cry when I considered the fact that neither one of us had had sex with anyone else since each other. I had half a mind–and plenty of hormones–to make that the first priority, right after I told him I wanted him.

Oh God, what if he had taken Kira up on one of her offers in the last couple days since he left my house? I wouldn't have blamed him, really. But it sounded like she had been making it known she was available before I walked into his office, and he hadn't done anything about it then. No, I couldn't allow my mind to go there right now. But my head was clear and the confusion and guilt that had been clouding things ever since I laid eyes on him again vanished. He was mine. And I wanted to be his. That was all I needed to focus on right now.

Except… something was going on with him and this case I was working. I couldn't figure it out and I knew that if things were going to go anywhere with us, we'd need to talk. Somehow though, that didn't feel like the priority. Suddenly, I knew with every fiber of my being that whatever was going on wasn't anything that was going to make me run. I trusted him. I trusted the man that he was. Despite the time and the distance, I knew he was good and decent. I knew it. And so whatever was going on, it would be okay.

I pulled into the garage at Trilogy and found a space. I walked quickly up to the lobby and then through the casino to Carson's office. With each step, my heart rate quickened and my excitement grew.

I rounded the corner to the hallway where his office was. The hallway was deserted and the door was closed. I stopped in front of it and took a deep breath and took a second to calm my nerves. I knocked lightly and waited. No answer. I knocked one more time, but when it became clear that he wasn't in, I bit my lip and turned around haltingly. I guess I would go to the front desk and find out if he was in at all–maybe somewhere else in the hotel or casino.

As I started walking away from Carson's office door, a tall, young, blond man wearing glasses turned the corner toward me. His eyes traveled over me and he smiled a warm smile. I smiled back and when I noticed that he was going toward Carson's door, I said, "Oh, do you work with Carson?"

"Yeah, can I help you?" he asked, stopping.

"Um, well, I don't know. I'm looking for Carson, but he's not in his office–"

"No, he's gone for a couple days. He'll be back next week. Do you want me to leave him a message? I was just going to leave some other paperwork in there for him," he gestured toward his office door.

My heart dropped and my shoulders sagged, disappointment washing over me. "Oh," I breathed out.

The man was looking at me closely. "Wait, are you Grace?" he asked.

My eyes snapped to his. "Yes," I said. "How did you–"

"I'm Dylan," he said. "I work with Carson now, but I also lived with him in L.A., before he went into the Navy."

"Oh!" I said, surprised and still not fully understanding how he knew my name, but finding it interesting that another friend of Carson's worked at Trilogy.

"Well, it's nice to meet you Dylan." I smiled. "Do you know where Carson went or how I can call him? I just wanted to… tell him something kind of important."

He paused. "I do know where he went, but you won't be able to reach him by cell. I've tried a few times today and evidently he isn't getting reception."

"Oh," I said, leaning against the wall behind me and biting my lip.

"Okay, well, can I leave you my phone number so you can give it to Carson if you get ahold of him?"

He paused, looking like he was considering something. Finally he said, "This something that you have to tell him, will he be happy to hear it?"

I laughed slightly, holding back the tears that threatened. "I think so," I whispered. "I hope so."

He studied me again for a few seconds before saying, "Well, Grace, if you're up for a six hour drive, I can tell you where he is. I don't think he'd mind that." He smiled.

I straightened up. "Really?" I said, my heart picking up speed again.

He laughed. "Yeah, if I know my friend… yeah. What kind of car do you have?"

I frowned, surprised by the question.

"Um, a Honda Accord."

He shook his head. "Switch with me. I have four-wheel drive. Just take care of her."

He started walking back toward the casino and gestured for me to follow him.

I ran to catch up, asking, "Where is he exactly, Dylan?"

He looked over at me as we walked toward the elevators to the garage. "He rented a cabin in Snowbird, Utah. Wait until you see that boy snowboard." He grinned and held the garage door open for me.

"He rented a cabin to go snowboarding by himself?" I frowned.

He nodded. "That's Carson for you. We're all working so none of us could go with him. He hasn't been in the snow since he was discharged. He was itching for it."

"We?" I asked, referring to his comment, 'we're all working.'

He nodded as he stopped next to a large black SUV. But he ignored my question and instead handed me his keys. I took them and then dug around in my purse for my own.

I pointed up the row of cars and hit my electronic door lock, making my car lights flash. Dylan looked at me and nodded, taking my keys.

"Hand me your phone," he said. I took it out of my purse and gave it to him, and then he took a few minutes and programmed something in, looking between his own phone and mine.

"I put the address of the cabin he's staying in into your phone. You can plug it into my GPS when you get on the road. I put my phone number in there too, just in case you need to reach me."

I blinked at him as I took my phone back. I was beyond grateful for his help and his kindness, but I was confused. This was the first time I'd ever met this man. And if he knew my name, surely he knew that I was the prosecutor on Carson's, and possibly his, friend's case. "Why are you doing this, Dylan?" I asked.

He seemed thoughtful for a minute before he answered, "I'm not sure, Grace. But it feels right." With that, he smiled and walked off, calling behind him, "Drive safely."

Carson

I threw another log on the fire, making it jump and crackle. I sat back down on the leather couch, lacing my fingers behind my head and leaning back. It was early morning, still dark out, and the temperature was near freezing.

I had always been an early riser, but after being in the military, it was a habit that was even more ingrained.

I had been snowboarding all day yesterday and my muscles were still slightly sore. God, I had missed it. And apparently it was just like riding a bike because after an hour or two, I felt all my skills return.

I felt a little bit guilty about enjoying something so much with everything Josh was going through, but Leland was right, there was nothing we could do right now except pace the floor. At least this was a stress outlet for me. And in the end, it would help Josh if we all were on our best mental game.

I looked over to the window and the first light of day was coming up over the horizon. I watched it for a few minutes as the glow increased, lighting the sky around it.

My mind went to Grace for the tenth time since I had gotten out of bed. I knew the ball was in her court, but it didn't stop me from thinking about her all the damn time. I didn't know what I'd do if she didn't contact me when I got back. What could I do, other than become a damn stalker?

I heard a light scraping sound coming from the front door and was immediately on guard. I stood up quickly and grabbed the gun I had brought out of the drawer in the table to the left of the couch. I didn't expect trouble, but it was always good to be prepared, especially with everything going on in Vegas.

I started walking quietly toward the front door when a knock came and a female voice called out weakly, "Carson?"

I froze. Was that… Grace? My body was suddenly on hyper-alert. There was no way. I had just been thinking about her–my mind must have conjured her up somehow. My heart started beating triple time, adrenalin shooting through my veins. I stuck the gun in the back of my jeans and walked quietly to the door.

"Carson?" I heard called again, louder this time. That was most definitely Grace.

I flung the door open, the sunrise blaring in at me, almost blinding. And there she was, standing in front of me, cheeks flushed bright red, her long, blonde hair wet and covered by snow, shivering violently, with one boot on.

What the…? I grabbed her in my arms, worry flooding my system. "Grace, what…? How?" I didn't even know what to ask first. My mind was going everywhere, questions firing rapidly through my brain.

She grabbed my face in her freezing cold hands and looked into my face, her eyes moving over my features. "I never let go, Carson."

"What, Grace?" I asked, confused and filled with worry.

She shook her head, trying again, "Never let go, baby," she said. "I never did. I never let go." Tears started sliding down her cheeks and she laughed out a half laugh/half sob through her chattering teeth as understanding lit my heart, making a lump form in my throat and hope blossom in my chest.

"I never let go," she repeated.

I scooped her up in my arms and carried her inside, kicking the door shut behind us.

CHAPTER 29

Grace

Carson sat me down in front of the fire and took my drenched jacket off. He grabbed a blanket from the couch and wrapped it around my shoulders. My teeth were chattering so loudly, I could barely hear my own thoughts.

"Grace, baby," he said softly, "what happened? How are you here?"

"I called it off," I said.

His eyes moved to mine and he stopped in the middle of peeling off my wet socks, waiting for me to continue.

"I was flying home for Christmas when I realized," I chattered out. I shook my head slightly. "I knew it all along, but… I just… I realized in the middle of the airport and I told Alex, and then I flew home, and I went to Trilogy to find you, to tell you." I was crying again.

He was rubbing my freezing feet between his hands now as he gazed at me, watching me as I talked, a gentle expression on his face.

"Your friend Dylan told me where you were and he gave me his car."

A look of surprise came over his face and then he grinned and shook his head slightly but still didn't say anything.

He stood up again and walked out of the room, and when he returned a couple seconds later, he had a towel in his hand. He walked back to me and began tenderly drying my hair.

"Then what?" he asked gently.

My shivering had mostly stopped now and warmth was flowing to my extremities, the heat from the fire seeping into my cold flesh. I sighed and wrapped the blanket around me more tightly.

"As I started getting closer to you, I got distracted, and… I ran out of gas," I ended, biting my lip, embarrassed. "Just down the hill from here. I was able to pull Dylan's SUV to the side of the road and I walked the rest of the way."

Carson frowned at me. "You could have been hurt," he said.

I reached up and put my hand on his cheek, the slight stubble there rough against my skin. He closed his eyes for a couple beats, leaning in to it. "I didn't get hurt. Just cold. And I lost my boot a couple hundred feet from your door, and I didn't care. I just kept going because the sun was coming up and," I let out a small sob moving my face closer to his, "I told you the sunrise would always remind me of you, and it has, all this time, all these years."

He closed his eyes again for a second and kissed my lips gently and then kissed each one of my eyelids and my nose. "Me too. You've come to me with the sunrise all these years too."

I let out another sob as I found his full lips and rubbed mine over his, softly, not tasting, just feeling, soaking in his warmth, his presence.

"I never let go, but I still turned into a human popsicle," I said softly.

Carson looked at me for a beat and then burst out laughing. He smiled at me, his eyes twinkling. "On the positive side, I think I'm cured. No more cinematic therapy needed," he said.

I laughed and we both smiled into each other's eyes, warmth shining from his. The smile left his face. "We have so much to catch up on," he said quietly.

I nodded, smiling a small smile at him. We had time.

"But first, I'm taking you to the hot tub, and then to my bed," he said, his voice sounding slightly strained.

"Yes," I whispered, desire coursing through my suddenly very-warm veins.

He picked me up and carried me down a short hall and set me down in front of a door at the back of the cabin. Then he grabbed a couple large towels on a shelf behind him. "Take off your clothes and wrap this around you. I'm gonna carry you outside. It'll be cold for a couple seconds but it'll be worth it, I promise."

He started taking off his clothes and when he pulled his long-sleeved t-shirt over his head, I gulped down a lump that got stuck in my throat. He had been beautiful before, but now… I didn't even know real-life men looked that way. He was all sleek, hard muscle, not an ounce of fat on him, covered in smooth, golden skin. He looked so large, standing before me, like some kind of God. "Carson, you're… so…" I said, staring unabashedly at his naked chest and then moving my eyes down to his tented boxers. "We can skip the hot tub," I suggested.

Carson chuckled. "No, you need it–not just for the warmth, but for the relaxation. At least for a few minutes. You've been driving all night," he said gently.

I noticed the small scar to the left of his heart, near his shoulder. It must be where the bullet exited from his body. I closed my eyes briefly, it hitting me all at once that if things had been just a little different, I might not be here with him at all. I leaned in and kissed the scar and when I came back up, Carson's eyes were warm and tender, but he didn't say a word.

He reached for my sweater and started pulling it up. I closed my eyes as it came over my head and then reached down and unbuttoned my jeans. My eyes tangled with Carson's and heat flared in his, making the hazel color deeper, his pupils dilating.

I licked my lips as I started to peel the denim down my legs. They were damp and so it took a minute to get them down far enough that I could step out of them.

I stood back up in nothing but my black bra and panties, staring at him, lust pumping through my body as I took in his naked perfection, so beautifully male in every way.

I reached in front of my breasts and unhooked my bra. It fell open and Carson's eyes moved down to my breasts, and a small groan came up his throat.

He reached out and pulled the straps down my shoulders and let my bra fall to the ground. My nipples pebbled under his stare.

As his eyes traveled over me, he whispered, "You take my breath away."

Blood was pumping through my core so powerfully, that I thought I might be able to come just from the fierce flow of it alone. I had never been this turned on, even all those years ago, with this same man. Maybe it was because it had been so long, but I thought a more likely explanation was that he was mine this time. We hadn't discussed it specifically, but I knew it was true. He was mine and I was his. That knowledge was a heady aphrodisiac.

We both reached down simultaneously and removed our bottoms, each watching the other. His cock sprang free and at the sight of it, I felt a release of hot moisture in my core.

I stood up straight and drank in his powerful body. I shivered, not with cold, but with arousal, but Carson took one towel and quickly wrapped it around his narrow hips and then took the other towel and wrapped it around me, picking me up in his arms, and then using one hand to unlock and open the back door.

The blast of cold, snowy air hit us and I wrapped my arms around him, putting my face in the crook of his neck, breathing him in and moaning at the scent of his skin right against my face, that individual smell that I would recognize until the day I died. If I was put in a dark room with one hundred other men, I could locate him by scent alone. That scent belonged to me.

I couldn't help darting my tongue out to taste him there. He tasted slightly salty and I relished it on my tongue. I wanted to taste him everywhere.

I heard a small growl come from his throat and a slight tremor move through his body as he walked to the hot tub a few feet away.

He set me down next to it and as I climbed in the hot, steamy water, he placed our towels underneath a bench behind him and pressed a button to turn on the jets.

As I sunk down into the water with a sigh, Carson climbed in and moved right next to me.

My eyes fell closed and I moaned out at the delicious feel of the hot water swirling around me, warming me completely. I let every muscle in my body relax, letting the stress and emotional build-up release from my tense body. After a few minutes, I grew so hot that I felt perspiration break out on my forehead. The desire that had been pulsing through my body a few minutes ago was still there, but it had taken a backseat momentarily.

I looked over at Carson and he was smiling over at me. "I missed that," he whispered.

"What?" I murmured.

"The look of pleasure on your face," he said, smiling softly.

I smiled a slight smile back and really studied his face for the first time since he had come back into my life. Those deep hazel eyes with the long, dark lashes, always watching, observing, taking in everything around him, his straight nose and those full lips that I constantly wanted somewhere on my body. I reached out my finger and traced his strong jaw, a day or two worth of scruff making it rough beneath my touch, and then used my thumb to trace his lips, right before I leaned over and kissed him gently. He wrapped a hand around the back of my neck and pulled me closer to him, slanting his lips over mine.

Snow was falling gently around us, the sun now almost entirely up in the sky, creating a warm glow to the quiet morning.

We kissed slowly for a few minutes, our tongues meeting and dueling gently, but then he moaned deeply into my mouth and thrust his tongue deeper, causing sparks to re-ignite and shoot to my core. Oh God, the taste of him. How had I lived without it all these years?

I pressed my breasts against his chest and rolled around on top of him so that I was straddling him, his erection pressing into my belly beneath the water. I slid my wet body against his, glorying in the feel of my slick skin gliding against his.

Our kisses went deep and wild until we were both panting into each other's mouths. My body was relaxed, yet filled with electricity, making me needy and desperate again.

Carson suddenly pulled away, breathing hard and looking strained. "Grace, baby, we need to slow this down. It's not gonna take much to–"

"Let's go inside," I whispered, moving off of him.

He just nodded and stood up quickly, grabbing the towels from under the bench and handing me one as I stood up. He reached to the side of the hot tub and switched off the jets. I couldn't look away from his body, his muscles flexing under his skin as he moved. He was exquisite.

I wrapped the towel around myself, the few seconds of cold air feeling good now as I followed him quickly back into the house.

When we got inside, he locked the back door behind us and led me down the hall to a small bedroom.

I looked around at the cozy room, filled with distressed, black furniture. The bed was a large, four-poster with white, down-filled bedding. It was unmade, as if Carson had gotten out of it not too long ago.

As I turned around to face Carson, the happiness and desire filling my body was so intense, I almost felt drugged.

He moved closer to me, and I studied his face as he took the towel from around my body and rubbed it gently through my hair again, leaving it just barely damp. I loved the look on his face, intensity hardening his features and yet his eyes filled with tenderness. All of that was for me. I grinned up at him.

"Never let go, baby," I repeated from earlier.

He laughed, and suddenly I was being walked backwards until I hit the bed and he was over me. "Never," he said and his mouth came down on mine.

Carson

I pulled the comforter all the way over us and then pressed into her softness as we kissed deeply for long minutes, drinking each other in. I was lost in her, lost in the sounds she was making as I kissed her with everything I had in me. My Grace was naked, under me. It was as if I had never woken up this morning, but was still in my bed dreaming.

I broke from her lips and looked down into her lust-heavy eyes, just to convince myself that she was real, that she had really come to me through the miles and the snowstorm, through the years and all the reasons why everyone would have bet against us if they had looked at the two of us on paper. My heart squeezed tightly. She was so beautiful–her long, silky, blonde hair spread over my pillow, her cheeks flushed and her lips swollen from my kisses, dark pink from the abrasion of my non-shaved face. A fierce protectiveness filled my chest and I both reveled in the feel of it and accepted the emotional vulnerability that came with it. This was the way it should be–always. I leaned back in and kissed down her neck as she arched her head back into the pillow and sighed out my name. God, I liked hearing that. Best sound on the whole damn planet.

I was as hard as granite, my cock throbbing against her stomach, pre-cum practically pouring out of me. It'd been a fucking long time. I wasn't going to last long once I got inside of her. I hoped she would understand–I'd make it up to her the second time… and the third… and the fourth. I groaned against her skin.

I took one of her nipples into my mouth, licking and sucking it until she was rolling her hips against me and reaching her hand down between us, trying to put me inside of her on her own.

"Hold up, Grace," I whispered. "I want that too, but–"

She shook her head from side to side. "Please, I don't care. I just want you inside of me. I need that. Please."

I nodded and started kissing her again as I took myself in my hand and lined the head of my cock up at her entrance. She put one leg around my back and I surged inside of her tight, wet heat.

"Oh, God bless America," I groaned out at the exquisite feel of her all around me, gripping me tightly from inside. "You feel… oh God…"

She let out a small laugh, her internal muscles gripping me more tightly with her movement and I grinned against her mouth. I resumed kissing her, nipping at her lips, wanting to be attached in any and every way possible, all at once.

I started moving, my body demanding to take over. "I can't be slow," I choked out.

She shook her head, moving it from side to side on the pillow, "I don't want slow."

With her words, I started moving, relishing the feel of not only the physical pleasure, but the reality of being connected to Grace in the most intimate way possible.

I moved in and out of her as she wrapped both legs around my back and tilted her pelvis up so that I could go deeper. My body was moving of its own accord, pounding, pushing, and taking the pleasure it had been denied for so long. "Grace," I panted. I felt drugged, yet hyper-alive, each nerve ending singing with pleasure.

"Carson, Carson," she breathed out, sending me spiraling higher.

I felt the tingling begin at the base of my spine, an orgasm swirling through my abdomen, and I moved even faster to claim it, my skin breaking out in goose bumps at the intensity.

Just as my climax hit me and I began to jerk inside Grace, she screamed out and I felt her pulsing around me as I came, spilling my seed inside of her as I thrust forward. I buried my face in her neck, moaning out at the same time I breathed her in.

I lay still for several seconds, feeling our mutual pulsating recede and finally fade away.

I pretended to let out a snore against her neck and she laughed out, and my cock, still halfway hard, slipped out of her a little bit with the movement.

I brought my head up and looked into her eyes, dancing with laughter. I grinned into her beautiful face and leaned forward and kissed her. As my lips met hers, something occurred to me and I leaned back quickly.

I closed my eyes for a beat, opening them and grimacing down at her. "I didn't use a condom. I'm so sorry. I don't even have one here anyway, but, fuck, I didn't even–"

She frowned slightly but then shrugged her shoulders. "It's okay. The timing's off anyway. I just ended my period a couple days ago. I think we're good."

I gazed down at her. "Okay," I said, rolling off and pulling her against me. I was quiet for a minute. In all the years that I had had sex, except on film, I had always used a condom. As I considered it now, I couldn't bring myself to care that we hadn't used one this time. I knew I probably should, but I just didn't.

After a couple minutes, I felt her breathing slow. I pulled the comforter all the way up to our necks and grinned up at the ceiling. Grace was asleep. She had traveled miles and miles, through the middle of the night, into a snowstorm, during Christmas, to come to me. I was filled with happiness and gratitude, and a deep peace, one that I hadn't felt for so very long. It calmed me and relaxed me and I gave in to it, falling into a peaceful sleep, my Buttercup wrapped up in my arms.

CHAPTER 30

Grace

I woke up slowly and snuggled into the warmth surrounding me. I was buried deep under a pile of blankets, the smell of Carson all around me. I sighed out in happiness and contentment.

I didn't know how long I'd been sleeping since the shades were closed and the room was dark. But Carson wasn't here.

I sat up and saw a duffle bag sitting near the closet and so I got out of bed and went over to it, peeking inside. The cabin was chilly, but not freezing, and I smelled the very faint smell of a wood fire burning.

There was a thermal, long-sleeved shirt right at the top of Carson's bag and so I pulled that over my head. I dug through his clothes a little bit more and found a pair of boxers. I smiled as I pulled them on and turned the waistband down so that they would stay up on me.

I went to the bathroom and did my business and used Carson's toothbrush. Then I left the bathroom and peeked down the hall. I didn't see Carson anywhere.

I walked back into the main room with the fireplace and really looked around this time. The kitchen was right behind it–an open floor plan, although because of a bar separating the two, I couldn't see it in its entirety. There was a fire blazing and the furniture was comfortable and rustic, plenty of throw blankets draped on the arms of the couch and side chairs. It was a room that made you want to snuggle up and stay awhile.

There were large windows on every wall with a view of the snow-covered pine trees surrounding the cabin. Snow was still falling gently outside.

"Sleep okay, Buttercup?" I heard as Carson's arms came around me from behind. He kissed the side of my neck and I tilted my head to give him better access.

"Hmmm," I sighed. "Why do you call me Buttercup?" I smiled and tilted my head even more, relishing the feel of his lips on my skin.

There was a slight pause behind me as his lips stilled against me, and I turned to face him. I gazed up questioningly, as his eyes filled with warmth. He looked back down at me in thought.

"When I was a boy, I used to pick buttercups in my granny's yard. She used to hold one up to my chin and I used to hold one up to hers, and when it reflected yellow, she told me it meant we liked butter."

He breathed out, a slight smile on his lips. My breath hitched in my throat, my heart beating loudly in my ears as I took in every word.

"When I asked her how the buttercup made a glow, she told me that anytime you liked something, or anytime you gave your heart away, its glow became a part of you and made you glow too. The very first time I saw you Grace, to me, you glowed. I thought I disliked you," he laughed softly, his expression tender, "but I couldn't deny that you glowed. To me, you shined. And you still do. All these years, Buttercup, and you still do."

I laughed out a small sob, tears filling my eyes as I pulled him to me and kissed his lips. We stood there for long minutes, cuddling and hugging each other close, him wiping my tears away when a few trickled down my cheeks.

"Thank you," I said softly. What he had given me hadn't come in bright, shiny paper, hadn't been tied up with a bow. But it was a gift nonetheless–he had given me the gift of his heart, the gift of the truth.

After a few minutes, when I had gotten a hold of myself, I leaned back and asked softly, "What time is it anyway?"

"It's only noon. You slept five hours or so."

I turned back around in his arms, looking out the large windows again. "It's so beautiful here," I whispered.

Carson nodded. "I know. I love it. Someday I'm gonna buy a place here." He brought his chin down to my shoulder. "Are you gonna let me take you snowboarding? Maybe tomorrow?" I could feel him grin against my neck.

I laughed softly and moved away from him, sitting down on the leather sofa, pulling a throw over my legs. "Sure. I just hope I don't show you up. I hear you're decent but…"

He laughed. "Well, now I'm nervous. Maybe I'll just save my pride and keep you in bed for the next couple days."

He sat next to me and pulled me into his arms so that my head was resting on his chest. I laughed. "Hmmm… you are good at that. It's not a bad idea actually."

He chuckled and we were quiet for a minute as he played with my hair gently and I watched the snow fall.

"Are you hungry? I have coffee made."

"Coffee sounds great. And I'm starving."

"Okay. Oh, I went and got Dylan's SUV while you were sleeping. There was a can of gasoline in the garage. I brought your suitcase in." He indicated his head toward my suitcase sitting by the door, the still-packed bag I had quickly picked up at my house on the way out of town.

"Thanks. That was pretty dumb of me to run out of gas. I'm usually slightly more competent than that." I grimaced.

"Nah, your mind was just preoccupied with other things," he said and I could hear the smile in his voice.

I looked up at him. "Very preoccupied," I agreed with a smile.

He kissed me gently and I moved away from him as he stood up. I watched his muscular ass move in his jeans as he walked to the kitchen. The memory of how that ass felt under my hands, the muscles clenching with movement as he thrust in and out of me made me shiver. Yeah, maybe that staying in bed for the rest of the week idea wasn't such a bad one.

Carson came back into the room ten minutes later with a cup of coffee and a plate of scrambled eggs and toast.

"I remembered how you like your coffee," he said, "but I don't know how you like your eggs. I hope that's okay."

"This is how I like my eggs," I said with a smile. "Thank you."

He nodded, and I dug into my food. I hadn't eaten since the morning before when I'd grabbed a banana on my way out the door to the airport. God, that felt like a lifetime ago. Another life entirely.

I looked up at Carson, sitting on the opposite end of the couch, sipping his cup of coffee.

I put my plate down and held my hand out to him. He sat his cup down and scooted toward me, pulling me into his body so that I was snuggled up against his side.

I nuzzled into his neck and curled into him.

I felt a deep contentment settle through me, the knowledge that I had made the right decision vibrating in my very soul.

"What are you thinking about?" he whispered, nuzzling into my hair.

"Umm, you, me, us." I smiled.

"I like that topic," he said. "What about us?"

"I was just thinking how right this feels. I was thinking how sorry I am that it took me so long to realize it."

Carson chuckled. "It took you a week, Grace."

I smiled, kissing the crook of his neck. "Too long."

He sighed. "You had a few things going on. It was normal that you got spooked by me. I came on sort of strong."

"I like when you come on strong," I whispered.

"I know you do, Buttercup," he said with a smile.

I lifted my head and looked up at him, warmth filling me now that I knew the meaning of my nickname. "Just don't get carried away," I warned teasingly.

He laughed. "Please. You're the real boss here. You think I don't know that?" He looked down at me tenderly. "I'd do anything for you, Grace. I'd slay a dragon for you," he said softly.

I blinked up at him, taking in the sincerity in his eyes, the beauty of his face, the tenderness of his expression. I leaned up and kissed his soft lips, sucking his bottom one into my mouth and nipping it with my teeth.

I grinned up at him and he pulled me in to his side again.

After a second, I leaned back and looked into his face, biting my lip. I needed to ask him about something. He had said a woman's name in his sleep this morning. I had woken up briefly, but then gone back to sleep when he was silent again. I wasn't upset, after all, he'd told me he hadn't been with anyone since me. But I was curious.

"What?" he asked softly.

"Carson," I paused, "who is Ara?"

Carson

I froze and my heart picked up speed. "Where did you hear that name?" I whispered.

She leaned back a little more and looked at me, her brow furrowed, her large, blue eyes studying my face.

"From you. You said it in your sleep this morning," she said.

I closed my eyes for a couple beats. "I'm sorry. It's… it's not what you might think," I said, worried that she thought I was dreaming about a woman I had been involved with in some romantic way.

"It's okay. We've been apart a long time and–"

"No. I was telling you the truth when I said I haven't been with anyone else. Not in any way."

She studied me and nodded again, sitting up straight, but staying right next to me, our bodies touching. She brought the blanket over my lap too as she bent her legs so that they were under her on the couch.

I leaned back and ran my hand over my short hair.

I was silent for a minute, getting my thoughts straight as she waited me out. I was ready to tell her about this. If we were together now, then she needed to know. This was part of my life.

"Ara was a fourteen year old girl who was raped and beaten by a high value target we had been sent in to kill in Afghanistan. We found her, half-dead from her injuries, and we stayed with her as she died."

Grace brought her hand up to her mouth, her eyes filled with shock and sadness. She removed her hand and whispered, "We?"

I nodded, "Yeah, me and my unit. We had gone in on the mission and we were successful pretty immediately. But when we went in to the warehouse the target had been hiding in, we found some things we weren't expecting, including a whole room of women and girls in the most deplorable conditions you could imagine." I was silent for another minute, picturing opening that door, the smell hitting us immediately as we all recoiled and then shined our flashlights in–eyes wide and scared staring back at us. They hadn't given them access to toilets or water. They were being held like cattle, worse than cattle. When I pictured hell, I pictured that room.

"They were being trafficked. Girls as young as six were in that room, fated to become some sick fuck's sexual plaything."

Her eyes were huge in her face, tears welling over now as she stared at me silently.

"One of the girls, Ara, had seen a chance for escape when they threw some dinner in for them. The guards caught her and they raped her–raped her in any and every way they could. They hurt and degraded her unmercifully." My voice faded at the end as I swallowed down the lump that always formed when I thought of Ara. "They all took turns with her and then they beat her so severely that she was barely conscious. Of course, we didn't get this information until later, when our translator talked to some of the other women being held."

Tears were coursing down Grace's cheeks, and she grabbed my hand and held it to her heart as I continued to talk.

"After we killed them and found Ara, we carried her outside and we cleaned her wounds as best as we could with what we had. But the internal damage was too much… she needed a hospital and we had no way to get her to one. We gave her morphine and we stayed with her through the night, taking turns holding her hand and telling her stories–any story we could think of. As the sun started to rise, it was my turn to hold her hand and I told her about you, how I thought of you every morning when the sun came up in the sky. And I swear, she smiled at me, Grace. She looked right in my eyes, and she smiled. And then she was gone."

Grace choked out a small sob. "Oh, God," she breathed out.

I closed my eyes for a minute, recalling that morning, my heart breaking as I looked into Ara's eyes, the girl I didn't even know, as she slipped from this world.

"How do you handle that memory, Carson? How do you get over that?" Grace finally asked on another small sob.

I thought about that. I thought about how you ship off to fight for your country, and no one ever tells you that the things you see might seep into your very soul and irrevocably change who you are. They never tell you that a million miles from one moment, it will all suddenly come back to you - where you were, what you felt, what you saw, that one frame–on repeat, over and over and over.

"I'll never get it out of my head. I'll never get over it. And I'm okay with that. She lived it. The very least I can do is remember."

She studied me for a moment, and then she smiled a sad smile at me, something deep and intense flashing in her eyes as she took my face in her hands and brought her lips to mine softly. We sat together for a minute, as she kissed my cheeks and my forehead, my nose, and my lips again, very softly. Then she picked my hands up in hers and examined the scars on my palms, putting her lips to those and closing her eyes tightly.

I watched her, my heart beating triple time in my chest as her emotion swept over me, filling me, humbling me, and giving me peace.

When she leaned back she asked, "What happened to the other girls?"

I sighed. "They were all from small, poor villages in the surrounding areas. The townspeople helped locate their families and get them back where they belonged. They had mostly been told that there was a housekeeping job or something like that in another village. That's the usual M.O. when it comes to trafficking. In some cases, families even sell their daughters into what they believe will be a better situation than they can provide."

Grace nodded, biting her lip. "And Ara's family?" she asked quietly.

"We had to leave before Ara's family was located, but the townspeople thought they knew where they were and promised to bring her body to them."

Grace put her head on my chest and her arms around my waist and squeezed me gently. God, it felt good to talk about this with her and let her comfort seep into my heart. The guys and I had talked about it afterwards, but it wasn't the same. It wasn't the same as being wrapped in Grace's arms as she took part of my pain and made it her own. I didn't want her to hurt, but to share my scars with another human was a relief that I hadn't even known I needed until I got it.

We were quiet for a few minutes, just holding each other. Finally, I said quietly, "Grace, there's more, and this part concerns you."

She brought her head up and frowned. "Okay," she said.

I paused. "Listen, when I tell you what I'm about to tell you, I understand if you need to take some time to think about it. I pray to God that you don't get back in Dylan's SUV and drive back to Vegas, but if you want to do that, I'll understand."

"Carson, you're scaring me," she whispered.

I took a deep breath. "The initial plan was to kill the target and get in and out of there, but because of the unexpected situation we found, we were later making our way to our rendezvous point. It gave men who worked for the high value target time to ambush us. You already knew I was injured, but not the circumstances. Leland was injured in that same ambush."

She nodded, her eyes big pools of worry. I grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

"Anyway, after that, we were shipped back while we healed. Leland got discharged and I was given a choice to stay or go. When Leland offered me a job, I decided to go."

"Yes, you told me all this."

"I know. But I didn't tell you what my real job is."

Her brows snapped down. "You're not the head of security at Trilogy?"

"Well, yes and no. That's my full-time job. The rest of the time, I plan and execute operations with my friends to rescue women being sexually trafficked. We use the forty-fifth floor of Trilogy to house them while we locate their families and get the necessary paperwork to fly them home."

"What?" she breathed, her face losing color.

I turned more fully toward her. "After what happened with Ara, with what we saw in that warehouse, we were all pretty messed up over it. We talked about it and decided we needed to do something that mattered, something that made a difference, using the skills we had. Leland had the means and the location to offer us all jobs as cover for the operation we'd agreed to put into effect. As SEAL's we were able to gather intel and break into locations where women were being held. In Vegas, most of the women come from Latin American countries. We all agreed and we had gone in and gotten six groups of women in the two months we were in Vegas. The last rescue was the night before Josh got arrested."

Grace shook her head slightly. "Oh my God, I don't even… I don't even know what to say. Wait, what does this have to do with Josh's arrest?" Her eyes widened even further.

"Josh was framed, Grace. There's a man in Vegas who makes it his business to sell people, in his case, women and girls specifically. The women we rescued were his merchandise. What happened to Josh was his way of telling us he didn't appreciate what we had taken from him."

Grace fell back on the couch, putting her hand over her forehead. "Oh my God."

CHAPTER 31

Grace

I believed him without a doubt the minute he said it. My heart was breaking and my mind was reeling with everything he'd told me. How had my whole world turned upside down, yet again, in the space of half an hour? I sat on the couch with my hand on my forehead, trying to collect myself enough to ask more necessary questions. But only one came to mind. "What do we do?" I asked.

I looked at Carson and he paused for a couple beats before his face broke out in one of the biggest grins I'd ever seen on him. It shocked me a little bit. "Why are you smiling?" I asked, genuinely confused.

"You said, 'we,'" he said quietly, still grinning.

I blinked at him. "Yeah," I confirmed, "I said we."

"Just like that?" He asked, his smile fading and vulnerability washing over his features.

I pursed my lips, studying him for a minute. "I understand why you wouldn't tell me this before now… before I told you I wanted to be with you. But… did you think I wouldn't believe you when you did tell me?" I tilted my head, waiting for his answer.

He furrowed his brow. "No, I guess I didn't think you'd doubt my story, I just wondered if you'd want to have any part of it."

I sighed and laughed a humorless laugh. "I don't know if I do, exactly." I paused. "But here's the thing, it comes with you. It's what you do. And Carson, I don't know if anyone's told you this lately, but you're a hero."

He laughed. "No, Buttercup. I'm no hero."

I shook my head. "Yes, Carson, you are. I've worked cases, lots of cases actually, that involve women who've been sexually abused in some form or another. I've seen the look in their eyes. I've seen the devastation. Yes, you're a hero. So again, what are we going to do?"

He stared at me, something warm and tender filling his eyes.

"Dylan's working on it. He's trying to pinpoint a location for the guy we're tracking, the one we know is responsible for the set-up. His name is Gabriel Bakos. Problem is, he moves around so damn much, it's hard to track him. If we can just pin him down, we can go in and we can make him talk." He huffed out a frustrated breath.

"That sounds dangerous."

"It's a man's life we're talking about. My friend's life. A man who not only didn't kill a woman, but who has saved hundreds."

I sighed, closing my eyes briefly. "I know. Okay, what else? Tell me everything."

"We have Dylan on it. It's just a waiting game right now. A fucking frustrating as hell waiting game."

I looked at him for a minute, thinking. "I can get the case continued to give you more time," I offered.

His eyes snapped to mine. "That'd help," he said quietly. "I'd never ask you if I didn't know for a fact–"

"I know. It wouldn't be questioned. D.A.'s continue cases all the time."

"It wouldn't affect your career? Your reputation?" he asked.

I shook my head. "No. Not if I continued within reason."

He nodded.

I breathed deeply and sat back again, trying to solve this puzzle in my head, using all the evidence that I knew I had against an innocent man. Shit! Shit! Shit!

"Can't you go to the police?" I asked. "I mean, surely they'd be able to collect some evidence… somewhere, or question this Bakos, or something." I frowned, thinking over my words.

"No. First of all, if we went to the police with our story and told them what we'd been doing, all of us could face arrest, and then Josh would really be fucked. Also, police are restricted by search warrants and other red tape. We have all the expensive technology the police don't have, and we're still having a hard time tracking him. Even if we got his location and gave it to the police, by the time they got in there, Bakos would be cleared out and so would all the evidence. We need to get to him first. We can't work under the restraints of law enforcement if we want to be successful."

I chewed my lip for a minute, going over his words. I knew how the legal system worked, better than most people, and unfortunately, he was right. Vigilante groups, even ones doing good work, couldn't be encouraged by the police.

"I've gone over it a thousand times," Carson said. "There's no solution yet. We just have to wait."

I sighed, not surprised that he had read my mind. "How do we do that though? How are you not pacing the floor right now?" I groaned.

"Because if I do that I'll go crazy. I have to have faith that with all of us working together, we'll figure this out. I can't consider the alternative. Until there's a reason not to be optimistic, optimism is what I'm choosing."

I huffed out a breath, my shoulders sagging, still doubtful about whether I could do that or not.

"Go take a shower, Buttercup, and then we're going to run to the grocery store. I only bought some necessities yesterday."

I sighed, but stood up, intending on doing as he said. When I was halfway out of the room, I turned around and walked back to Carson. I sat down on the opposite side of him this time and when he turned his face to mine, I whispered, "All those years ago, I knew, I knew, who you were. Thank you for proving me right." Then I stood up and walked to the shower.

Carson

I sat on the couch and listened to the water start to run. I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. My Buttercup was fucking amazing. Had I really ever doubted that? No. That was the reason I wanted her back so fiercely it was like an ache in my bones.

Grace had seemed shocked by my story, but she had been on board before I even finished telling it. And she was proud of me. I saw that pride shining in her eyes and it fucking undid me. I had changed my life for me, but she had been the catalyst, and I would never deny that. And so the fact that she was proud of me, well, that meant everything.

I brought the dishes into the kitchen and put them in the dishwasher and then stoked the fire a little bit and sat back down on the couch. By the time Grace came out of the bathroom fully dressed, her hair falling loose, I was feeling relaxed and so damn happy. There were no secrets between us now. We were a team, she was with me, and despite the predicament that I was in, I felt a deep serenity settle inside. Something washed over me that I couldn't identify, the feeling that a final puzzle piece had just clicked into place somehow.

She walked over to me and straddled me and wrapped her arms around me and just held me to her for several minutes as I breathed in her shower-fresh scent.

She sat back slightly and looked at me with a slight frown on her face.

"Grace," I said, "You need to try to shut off your brain for a couple days while we're here. I know I just dropped a whole shitload of information on you. But I'm telling you, you will just drive yourself crazy if you keep working the information around in your mind while there's nothing we can really do. Trust me, we've gone over every angle, and we have more information than you do right now about the players in this situation."

She looked past my shoulder and bit her lip. Finally, she took a deep breath and whispered, "I'll try."

I studied her. "Okay. Oh, I went out earlier while you were sleeping and got you something."

"What?" she asked, frowning slightly.

I got up and went and grabbed a bag by the door.

"I looked for your missing boot this morning but it was nowhere to be found. It's snowed so much, it's completely covered over. So, I bought you some new boots and a waterproof coat, some gloves and a hat. I'm sure my fashion sense is lacking, but they'll do the job." I handed the bag to her.

She took it and dug around inside for a minute, checking everything out. "Not bad, actually," she smiled.

"Good. Put them on and we'll get going. I looked at your one boot to get your shoe size so hopefully those fit."

She pulled on the black snow boots with some kind of fake fur showing at the top and the gray and black jacket and smiled up at me. "Perfect," she said.

"Try on the gloves and hat too. I want to see the complete snow bunny look."

She raised one eyebrow but pulled the gloves on and then put the hat on too. Goddamn, she was cute. I couldn't help grinning at her.

She rolled her eyes at me but took my hand and we walked outside.

Before I had even locked up the cabin, the worried expression was back on her face and she was biting her lip. As she started walking slightly in front of me to my truck, she said, "Carson, what about the rock the girl was–"

I made a snowball and nailed her right in the back of the head. She stopped, dead in her tracks, interrupted mid-sentence and turned toward me, an incredulous look on her face.

"Did you just throw a snowball at my head?" she asked.

"Yeah, I did," I said, feigning a bored expression.

"I see," she said, bending down and gathering up some snow and beginning to form it into a snowball.

I laughed. "Oh, Buttercup, you have another thing coming if you think you can even–" and with that, she nailed me right in the face and then laughed out loud, doubling over.

I closed my eyes and wiped the snow from my face, blinking wetness out of my lashes.

"That's it. It's on," I said, scooping some snow up and starting toward her.

She shrieked and ran as fast as her big, clumpy snow boots could carry her, which wasn't very fast at all. I laughed and watched her, giving her a head start. It was the least I could do.

She ducked behind some trees, and I went wide around the grove and came in behind her. I watched for a couple minutes as she peeked out in front of her, and then went back to work on her "stockpile," about twenty formed snowballs next to her knees.

I very, very quietly removed my coat and then laid it on the ground and scooped as much snow into it as I could. Then I picked it up and moved behind trees, getting closer and closer to her. She didn't hear me coming.

When I was close enough, I came out in the open and moved in as she was forming another snowball, the sound of her gloves working in the snow, a mask to any noise I made. Then I raised my full jacket and dumped the whole pile of snow on her head.

She screamed and whipped around, shaking snow off of her. I tackled her gently and rolled her in the snow as she laughed and shrieked.

"Who is the Snowball Battle Master?" I asked, pressing down harder into her.

She laughed harder, trying to buck me off of her.

"Who, Grace? Say it. You are the Snowball Battle Master, Carson. The Heavyweight Champion of the Frozen Tundra! Undefeated now and forever!"

"Okay! Okay! You are, Carson, the Snowball Champion of… whatever! What you said! You're the Master."

"I know," I said and she laughed. I grinned back, kissed her on her lips, and jumped up and helped her to her feet.

I gathered her in my arms, my smile fading as I studied her face. "I know it's not possible to stop thinking about everything that's going on with Josh entirely and that's good, because some small idea could be the thing that gives us a break. But right now, we get to enjoy each other too, okay? Everything that can be done is being done and so let's not make ourselves too crazy. I want you to relax and trust me on that, all right?"

She studied me and then after a couple seconds, she nodded. "Okay," she said.

"Okay," I repeated.

I shook my jacket out and put it back on, only the outside slightly damp. I brushed Grace off and we walked to my truck. A few minutes later we were headed into town.

I took my phone out as we drove and texted the guys. I had told them that I'd text them anytime I had cell service, and then they would know they could call me if they needed to.

We drove to the supermarket in town and when we got out and started walking to the store, I grinned over at Grace. I thought back to the day before when I had run into this same supermarket for a couple items to sustain me for a few days. What a difference a day made. It was still surreal that Grace was here with me.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing, just you," I said, grabbing her hand. "You make me happy."

She let go of my hand and grabbed me around the waist and squeezed me.

Half an hour later, our cart was loaded up with everything we'd need for the next couple of days. Christmas was two days away and so Grace insisted on buying a ham and several different side dishes and the ingredients for some dessert that was a tradition in their household.

As she read the back of a can of something, I asked, "Grace, your family… " I trailed off not knowing exactly how to ask if they were okay with her missing Christmas to be with me, someone they had never even met, probably never even heard of.

She turned to me, her brow creased slightly. "My sisters are ecstatic, Carson. They knew that Alex wasn't the one for me the first time they met him. My dad… well, that's probably a different story. But my sisters have tricks up their sleeves as far as handling him. It'll be fine." She looked confident and so as long as she felt good about it, so did I.

We walked to the deli counter and ordered several things behind the case, and I stood waiting as Grace walked a few steps away to look at something on a shelf next to the counter.

I glanced over at two young women who looked to be in their early twenties who were giggling and smiling at me. I smiled a small, polite smile and looked forward again as I heard one of them whisper, "He's so hot!" to her friend

Grace came up to me and I saw her glance at them quickly, obviously having heard what they said, before bringing her arms up around my neck and kissing me on the lips.

I brought my arms around her waist and chuckled down at her.

"What?" she asked.

"I like it when you claim me, baby," I whispered teasingly. "But just so you know, you already did that a long time ago."

She smiled up at me, shaking her head slightly. "That's not what I was… " She tilted her head, looking up as if reconsidering. She grinned. "Okay, I totally was."

I laughed and picked her up off the floor, kissing her lips harder.

We put our order in the cart a few minutes later and then walked over to the small pharmacy at the back of the store.

We walked to the condom shelves and Grace looked back at me, biting her lip and looking around before grabbing a box off of the shelf and putting them in our cart under some other items.

I couldn't help laughing at her and as I did she turned around, glared at me and started pulling the cart. "Come on, let's go," she whispered.

I laughed harder. "Grace," I said quietly, "We're not robbing the place. We're buying condoms, like responsible adults."

She paused, shaking her head slightly, and she walked to me, smiling a small smile. "I'm pretty lame, huh?" she asked. "I can speak in front of a crowded courtroom, and yet buying condoms turns me into a nervous sixteen year old." She laughed.

As I gazed down at her, a warmth filled my chest, "No, you're not lame, you're beautiful, and amazing. Let's get back."

"Okay," she said quietly, smiling up at me.

We checked out and drove back to the cabin. The snow was still coming down lightly, casting a stillness over everything, making it feel like we were in a world all our own.

CHAPTER 32

Grace

We brought the groceries into the cabin and started unpacking them. I set ingredients for grilled cheese and tomato soup to the side so that I could make us some late lunch after everything was put away.

As I was folding up the last paper bag, Carson came up behind me and put his arms around me and whispered in my ear, "I love how you hum when you put the groceries away."

I laughed. "I do? I didn't even realize," I said, turning to him.

"Hmm hmm. I can't wait to learn every little thing about you," he said, looking into my eyes.

"Even the bad things?" I whispered, looking up at him.

He nodded his head. "Yeah, even the things you think are bad things," he said very seriously.

He brought his lips down over mine in a tender kiss that quickly heated as he swept his tongue against mine and I moaned into his mouth. I loved the way he tasted, loved the way he kissed and the way he moved. He appealed to every single one of my senses and making love with him felt decadent, delicious. I didn't see how I'd ever get enough.

When I thought of all that he had revealed to me this afternoon, my heart squeezed. I hadn't even really had time to sort out all my thoughts and feelings. I was worried about the case, but I felt confident in his reassurance that everything that could be done right now, was being done. I would have to trust in that if I wasn't going to worry myself to an early grave before Christmas.

I could only imagine what Josh Garner was going through. God, his case looked like such a slam-dunk. And he had been framed by someone so evil that he not only sold human beings, but also didn't blink an eye at murdering an innocent young woman and then ruining a young man's life. I felt scared and sickened at the mere thought of his "business."

But Carson, my brave Carson. My heart burst with pride when I thought of who he had become, what he risked his safety to do for others.

I pressed into him and a sound of satisfaction came up his throat, vibrating in my mouth.

His hands untied the sweater belt at my waist and I laughed into his mouth when his hands started traveling under my sweater.

"What?" he murmured against my mouth, smiling and nipping my lips.

"Nothing. You're very talented," I said.

He shook his head, rubbing his lips against mine. "No, just determined."

I laughed softly, but my laugh faded as his hands reached my breasts and started rubbing my nipples over the cotton of my bra. "Ahhh," I moaned out, breaking from his lips and leaning my head back.

He pressed his lips to the pulse at the base of my throat as his thumbs circled my hardened peaks slowly, lazily. I breathed harder, tingly electricity shooting to my core and the blood starting to pulse there.

I reached my hand down to rub his hardened length through his jeans. He let out a moan and pressed against my hand. I raised my head back up and looked into his eyes, filled with heat, his lips slightly parted. A thrill shot through me at the hungry look on his beautiful face.

He leaned into my ear as he circled his hips against my hand. "I want you so much, Buttercup," he said, his voice deep and slightly strained. "I've never stopped wanting you."

I moaned. I liked that. I liked that so much. "Me neither," was all I could manage.

"Tell me you're mine," he whispered.

"I'm yours. I've always been yours," I breathed out.

Carson took one hand away from my breast and brought it down to the button on my jeans as he leaned back. He undid the zipper and then worked my pants down my hips as I watched him kneel down in front of me.

I sucked in a breath as he put his face against the white lace of my panties and breathed me in. I let out a small whimper. I was already wet.

He hooked his thumbs into the sides of my panties and brought them slowly down my hips and let them drop to the floor as he looked up at me. I stepped out of both my jeans and the small piece of lace.

For a minute, he stilled and rested his cheek against my stomach, his hands gripping the backs of my thighs. I ran my fingers through his short, soft hair and looked down at him. His eyes were shut and I wanted to ask him what he was thinking, but before I could form the words, I caught sight of us being reflected in the mirror over the fireplace in the open family room area. When I focused on the view of me, no pants on, and Carson kneeled before me with his head now moving lower between my thighs, the sight of it made me lose all focus, a moan escaping my lips.

Carson urged my legs apart and I cried out when I felt his tongue dip into me from below.

"Oh God," he whispered, "The way you taste… it's like a drug."

And then he nipped my clit as I cried out with the ecstasy of it, pressing gently on his head to urge him on. If he stopped now, I knew for sure I'd die.

His tongue started circling slowly on the swollen little bundle of nerves, and I gripped the counter behind me and pressed more firmly against his face, unabashedly seeking my own pleasure.

"Oh, Carson," I breathed out as he grasped my thighs more tightly and pulled me even tighter against his face.

The pleasure built higher and higher as I watched the mirror in front of me through half-closed lids. The combination of sensory input was so overwhelming that when my orgasm hit, it was fast and hard, and I screamed out Carson's name as I pressed into his mouth.

He stood up and quickly stripped off his jeans, and before I could even form a coherent thought, he had lifted me onto the counter, so that I was at the very edge, grabbed a condom off the kitchen island, ripped it open, and rolled it on. He pressed into me, filling me completely.

I put my hands down on the counter behind me, as he started pumping into me relentlessly. He took my face in his hands and kissed me, his tongue thrusting into my mouth in tandem with the thrusting of his cock.

When he pulled away from me and pressed his face into my neck, I watched the mirror behind us again, this time watching the beautiful sight of his muscular ass contracting as he moved in and out of me. It was carnal and beautiful and I couldn't look away.

His breath hitched and he began panting into my neck, moaning out when his orgasm hit him.

He circled his hips slowly, milking his pleasure and when he brought his head up, there was a lazy smile on his face. So beautiful.

He kissed me again, deeply and tenderly, and then he pulled out of me and lifted me down. He took my hand as he led me into the bathroom where he tied the condom off and flushed it. Then he ran a washcloth under warm water and reached between my legs and washed me gently and kissed my lips quickly one more time.

Fifteen minutes later we were dressed and eating soup and sandwiches at the kitchen island.

We talked long after we had eaten, sitting as we held hands. We didn't talk anymore about his operation, or Josh's case. It felt like there was an unspoken agreement that that could wait for now, that it was also important that we get reacquainted again. For just this night, we needed to focus on us, just us. And so we laughed and chatted about what had gone on in our lives while we were apart.

Catching up like that felt necessary to what was going to come next. I didn't know how I knew that, I just did.

After a while, we moved to the couch in the family room and curled up together under a blanket and watched Zoolander on one of the movie stations, laughing and cuddling.

Carson

We made dinner together, chatting more and enjoying each other's company. I hadn't been this happy in… I'd never been this happy. I knew there was a lot of stress waiting for us back in Vegas. And if there was anything, even something small that I could have been doing for Josh, I'd be doing it. But there wasn't and so for now, I was soaking Grace in. I enjoyed getting reacquainted with her, and I let the feeling that we were right, settle into my soul. I hadn't been wrong when I had thought that having her with me would make me stronger, stronger for Josh, stronger for everything. Having her with me was like lifeblood flowing back through my veins, giving me strength and purpose.

I opened a bottle of wine and we drank as we cooked, laughing and touching. I couldn't keep my hands off of her and it seemed like she felt the same way. Maybe we were making up for lost time, or maybe I just needed to keep reminding myself that she was here with me. Touching her gave me comfort, grounded me to the here and now.

After dinner, she got out a frying pan and told me to sit while she made a quick dessert. I drank my wine as she stirred a few ingredients together and chopped some bananas. A few minutes later when she brought it over to me, I saw what she had made and grinned. "Bananas Foster," I said. "My granny used to make this for me."

She nodded, smiling a gentle smile. "I know."

I furrowed my brow, taking in her sweet expression, remembering how I had told her that on the elevator all those years ago. "You remembered that all this time?" I asked.

She nodded. "I remember every part of that weekend," she said quietly, looking up at me through her lashes.

My heart squeezed in my chest and I leaned over and took her face in my hands and kissed her lips. "Thank you," I said.

After dessert, we got in the hot tub and she climbed on top of me again and a combination of wine and naked Grace had me drunk in more ways than one.

We fell into bed, a wet mess of tangled limbs. She climbed on top of me and I lost myself in her as she rode me, her head thrown back, her breasts in my face as I sucked and licked them, the sounds she made my undoing. I thrust myself up into her tight heat and came so hard I thought I might pass out.

After I got rid of the condom I had somehow remembered to put on, I pulled her body into mine and felt her smile against my chest, nuzzling into me again. I noted that she was breathing slowly against me as I drifted into the world of dreams.

"Carson, wake up, baby, you're dreaming," I heard whispered.

I shot up in bed. "Wha'?" I breathed out, looking around, trying to orient myself.

"You were dreaming," Grace said again, urging me back down to the pillow.

I sank back down and ran my hand over my damp hair. I had been having that damn dream again.

"What was it about?" Grace whispered, pressing into my side and laying her cheek on my chest.

I sighed. "My mom… then Ara. I've been having it a lot lately. I'm not sure why."

"Tell me," she said, pressing her lips to my chest and then bringing her hands up so that her chin was propped up on them.

I could just make her out in the darkness, those eyes that I knew were clear blue in the sunlight, deep, fathomless pools in the dark room.

But I felt her warmth against me, I breathed in her singular scent, and I heard the concern in her voice and it comforted me, made me want to share the pain that came to me in the darkness of the night.

I told her about the dream, about sneaking out of the back room, about watching my mom "perform," about her suddenly turning into Ara.

She kissed my chest again, breathing deeply against my skin before she came up again and squeezed me. "Both were traumas for you, baby," she said softly.

"Yeah," I said. I knew she was right. I knew that that was the reason I combined them in my mind.

We were both silent for a minute. Just telling her about my dream and having her comfort me felt like a weight lifted off of my heart. I let it soak in, bringing me peace, contentment.

"It's part of the reason I haven't been with anyone since you," I said quietly.

Her head lifted. "What do you mean?" she asked.

I paused. "When I came home from Vegas, I looked at everything differently. I had never experienced sex as something that wasn't just physical, but emotional. It changed everything for me."

She squeezed me again gently. I could tell that she was waiting for me to go on.

"It's like, with my mom, I felt this fierce protectiveness, but I was helpless. And the part that I never could get my mind around was that she put herself in those situations. But then she came home and she was just… broken. Every fucking time. She did what she did at the expense of her own soul. I'm not saying it's like that for everyone. But for her, it was. I could see it and I couldn't do fuck about it. It hurt. And I was just a kid, I didn't get it. And so later, I don't know, maybe I went into it myself as some way of gaining some kind of control over something that I had had no control over in the past. At the time, I told myself that it didn't matter, that it was just something that made me some easy money, but deep down, I think I knew that was a lie. I don't know. I've thought a lot about it, and I'm no psychologist, but it felt like something that deserved some of my head space."

I sighed, gathering more of my thoughts. "Anyway, after you, I couldn't lie to myself about it anymore. And I realized that I didn't want to go back to the way I had been. The nameless hook-ups, the one-night stands. It wasn't even a choice, it just wasn't possible." I was quiet for a minute remembering silently the very first time I realized that for sure. The night I had gone to see Grace in D.C. and thought I saw her with her boyfriend, I had gone out to a bar and a woman started hitting on me. It would have been easy enough to go home with her. But I wasn't interested. Even in a fucked up emotional state, I simply hadn't been interested–not in random sex anyway. I let the shitty feeling of that night wash away. Grace was here in my arms now.

I continued, "Anyway, then I shipped off and spent a couple years in caves in the desert…" I laughed a small laugh.

Grace smiled against my skin and rubbed her nose against me, kissing me again, showing her support without saying a word.

"And then what happened with Ara… in some ways, it brought up those feelings in me again. It's so hard to explain."

"You're doing a really good job," she whispered. "I understand."

And were there two words in the English language more beautiful, more comforting, than those two? In that moment, I knew for sure the answer was no.

"Have you talked to your mom recently?" she asked quietly.

"No, I don't even think she knows I went into the military. Not that she'd really care. My roommate Dylan lived in the apartment we had shared in L.A. until he moved to Vegas a couple months ago, and she never contacted him there looking for me…"

She breathed out. "She has no idea what she's missing out on." She paused for a minute. "Do you know what happened to her… I mean, why she might have done what she did for so long?"

I shook my head. "I don't know exactly. She mentioned an uncle once when she was strung out. I got the feeling that he had done something to her, but she didn't go into it. I don't know. Maybe there was no reason. Maybe the drugs were the reason. I don't know."

She was quiet for a minute and then kissed my chest gently again, rubbing her lips whisper-soft on my skin.

I couldn't see her face, but I could tell her wheels were turning. "What are you thinking?" I asked quietly.

She was silent for a second before she leaned up on her hands again, her eyes glittering at me in the dim room. "What I was thinking, Carson, is that you glow as well. To me, you shine too."

Warmth filled my chest and I let out a shaky breath and smiled at her, but I didn't say anything. I just pulled her closer and said a silent prayer of thanks that she was in my arms.

We cuddled and whispered until I felt her still beside me. A few minutes later, I slipped into sleep too, a restful, dreamless sleep.

CHAPTER 33

Grace

"Wake up, sleeping Buttercup," I heard whispered close to my ear.

"Grrrhmmph," I moaned and turned my head away from the annoying sound and snuggled back in to my pillow.

I heard a low, sexy chuckle and my blood started pumping just a little bit faster in response, but not enough to want to drag myself out of sleep. I was so warm, and this bed smelled so good. I turned my face into the pillow and breathed in deeply. Carson. That was crazy though. I hadn't seen Carson in years. I missed him. I missed his smell and his touch. And so I'd stay in this dream world just a little longer. He was here and I didn't want to leave.

Something shook the bed violently and I squealed and sat up, blinking at the room around me.

"Still not much of a morning person, huh, Buttercup?" Carson grinned down at me from where he was standing at the base of the bed.

"Were you jumping on the bed?" I asked groggily.

"Yup. It's like waking the dead," he said, climbing down.

I snorted and flopped back down. "What time is it?" I grumbled.

"Five a.m. Come on! I want to be on the slopes by the time the sun rises and we still have to rent gear for you."

I grumbled a little more but finally lugged myself out of bed and followed Carson into the bathroom as he started the shower for me.

I brushed my teeth and when I was done, I shooed him out so that I could pee and get in under the water.

"I'll make coffee," he called behind him. Some people really were annoyingly chipper in the morning. It was hard to like people like that.

I climbed under the hot spray and lathered up my hair. Yes, it was difficult to like morning people. Even ones who had broad shoulders and rock hard abs. Even ones who had smiles that made your heart skip a beat and sparks shoot down your spine. Even ones who had a little dimple of happiness right under his full bottom lip–God's last paintbrush flourish to the masterpiece that was Carson Stinger.

Even ones who rescued women as their self-appointed job.

I stopped mid-lather and just stood there for a minute, letting that reality take hold. He rescues women. Women who were slated to exist in back alley brothels, little girls who would end up as some sick tourist's plaything somewhere in a small, dark room. I wasn't the most educated person in the world when it came to human trafficking, but I knew enough that even thinking about it made my stomach turn violently. My God, I was still stunned when I thought about what Carson and his friends were doing.

I rinsed my hair and conditioned and smiled to myself. Okay, so I really, really liked my morning person. He was exceptional actually. A hero.

I got out of the shower and pulled a towel around my body and pulled my hair dryer out of the small bag of toiletries I had brought into the bathroom. Once my hair was dry, I walked back to the bedroom and pulled on jeans and a thick, white sweater.

As I was pulling on socks, Carson walked in with a steaming cup of coffee and grinned at me. "More awake?" he asked.

"Hmmm…" I said. I was more awake and capable of thought, but not capable of too much conversation just yet. I'd need a little more caffeine for that.

I finished my coffee at the kitchen island as Carson got our stuff together, and then he came over and put my boots on me.

I smiled down at him. "This is one of those bad things about me. I'm a grump in the morning."

He chuckled. "I already knew that." He winked. "And I came back for more anyway."

I laughed softly, and he stood up and put his arms around my waist and lifted me down from the barstool.

I put my arms around his neck and gazed into his eyes, hoping he saw all my emotions there.

"Let's go watch another sunrise together, Buttercup," he whispered, his face intense, his eyes studying mine.

I nodded. "Yes," is all I said.

I wrapped my arms around Carson's waist as we waited for the sun to rise from the top of the ski trail. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and leaned down and kissed me gently.

I looked up at him. If I knew that a boy in a beanie and snow goggles pushed up on his head was so damn sexy, I would have been trolling the slopes long ago. I grinned.

"What?" he asked, smiling down at me.

"Nothing. I like this look on you. No, I love it actually. Especially the goggles."

He raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah? Because I could wear them later in bed. Naked with goggles."

I burst out laughing. "Actually, that sounds kind of creepy."

"Hmmm, you have no idea," he growled and pulled me into him.

I laughed again but the light hit my eye and I said, "Shhh, the sun's coming up."

He leaned down close to my ear. "I'm pretty sure it will keep rising whether we whisper or not, Buttercup."

I swatted him. "Haha. I just meant, let's give it the proper respect it deserves."

He kissed me quickly and pulled me in closer to his body. "Good point," he whispered.

We watched it until it had broken over the horizon and the snowy hills surrounding us were glittering and bathed in yellow light. Then Carson took my hand and so began my first snowboarding lesson.

I sucked. No, I really sucked. By the time I was competent enough to go down a hill without falling down, it was only because the pain of pushing myself back up with my arms was so utterly intolerable, that I remained standing through sheer determination alone.

I didn't think I had ever laughed so hard at myself though, and Carson was patient and funny and didn't show off… too much. Although, honestly, I didn't mind. He was a thing of beauty on the slopes. He was as comfortable with his feet anchored to a board, sliding over the snow, as he was walking through a parking lot. A couple times, he brought me up a higher hill and he went up and down a couple times while I practiced staying upright, and then finally joined up with me again to continue my lesson.

Eventually, when my body couldn't take it any longer, Carson took my hand and grinned at me and said, "You're a trooper. You did really well today."

"Well?" I groaned. "I was awful. I was on my ass more than I was on my feet."

"Everyone starts out that way. We'll try again."

I shook my head. "I don't think so. You're amazing at this and I would love to come back here again. But you snowboard and I'll keep the hot tub warm back at the cabin."

He laughed. "We'll see."

"Hmm. Yeah, we'll see. Hey, before we turn my gear in, I want to see you do a jump."

He raised an eyebrow. "You sure? You'll have to go down another hill."

My arms screamed out in protest. "I'll sacrifice," I said.

"Okay," he smiled. "Let's go then."

We took the lift up to an even higher run, and Carson told me to go about halfway down the mountain and watch the jump that would be off to my left.

I made my way down and stopped off to the side of the ski run, watching the jump. It was after noon now and I was starving since we had only had coffee for breakfast. But I wouldn't leave the slopes without seeing Carson perform some of the jumps he had described to me earlier when I'd asked him his favorite part of snowboarding. He had called it "catching air."

It was the day before Christmas and the slopes were practically deserted so it was easy to keep my eye on him.

After a minute, I saw him coming down the slope, fast and sure as he lined himself up with the jump in front of him and my heart started thumping loudly in my chest. God, he was magnificent.

I breathed in a sharp breath as he went soaring off the edge, bending his knees and doing a full rotation in the air. I squealed and tears came to my eyes. It was one of those moments when a human being does something so remarkable, so unbelievably amazing, that your heart soars and a lump immediately forms in your throat at the sheer beauty of it. And in that moment, you are able to believe that we really were created in the image of God.

Carson landed, bending his knees and absorbing the impact perfectly, steady and sure. I could barely make out his face as he turned around at the bottom of the hill, but I could tell he was grinning.

I put my gloved hand over my heart on my ski jacket. "And that, ladies and gentlemen, is all she wrote," I whispered to myself, knowing I was a goner. But somehow, I was just fine with that.

Carson

I lathered Grace's hair and rubbed her scalp with the pads of my fingers, working the shampoo through.

"Hmmm," she moaned out in front of me in the shower, making my groin throb. I ignored it though for now. My Buttercup was in so much pain that she couldn't even reach her hands over her head to shampoo her own hair. Of course, I didn't mind being of service when it came to Grace naked under running water. But I did feel badly that she had worked her body so hard that she could barely move.

I turned her around and backed her up slightly so that she could tip her head and I could rinse her hair out under the spray. She smiled lazily up at me.

"Better?" I asked, wondering if the combo of the Advil I'd given her and the hot water was helping her achy muscles.

She nodded her head, closing her eyes as the water ran over her head and down her body.

After we had left the slopes, we had gone to the restaurant in the lodge where the rental shop was, and enjoyed hot soup and sandwiches.

After that, Grace had insisted that we go find a small tree. The next day was Christmas and she laughingly said that even though we were our gifts to each other, and we had already been opened–we still needed a tree. I didn't care about a tree so much, but I'd do anything to make her happy, and so off we went to find one.

We asked at the restaurant we ate lunch in and were told that there was a Christmas tree lot right out of town, and so we drove there and picked from what was left, which wasn't much. But when Grace's eyes lit up at a Charlie Brown looking thing near the gate, I laughed and told the guy working there that we'd take it.

We'd made a stop at the hardware store in town and bought a couple strings of lights–outdoor lights, all they had. They'd have to do as decoration. Grace seemed happy and that's all that mattered to me.

By this point, the stiffness was setting in and she was moving more and more slowly, so I took her home, gave her some Advil, and told her to go take a hot shower.

I brought the tree and lights inside and stood the tree up in the stand, and that's when I'd heard her groaning in pain. I'd gone in to see what was wrong, and she was practically crying with the effort to raise her arms above her head and wash her hair. Clearly, my services were necessary.

Once her hair was rinsed, I turned her around again and I massaged her shoulders and arms. She moaned out, "Oh, God, that's like heaven," as she rotated her head.

With her moans and small whimpers, my cock came to full attention. She dropped her head forward and rubbed her ass gently against me, and I sucked in a breath.

"Grace…" I warned.

She turned to face me and reached down and stroked me lightly. I hissed in a breath. "Grace, you're sore. I wasn't trying to…"

"I know you weren't. But I'm not in such bad shape that I can't enjoy you… I mean, unless you suspend yourself over my head. Then we'll have a problem." She grinned.

I laughed, but then moaned as her hand moved faster, the water lubricating my cock so that her hand slipped up and down it easily.

She went down on her knees in front of me and my cock jumped. Holy Christ, she was going to take me in her mouth. My breath hitched.

She looked up at me a little uncertainly and I knew exactly what she was thinking.

"Baby, anything you do is going to be perfect, I promise you that."

She smiled slightly and moved her fist to the base of my erection, and then sucked my tip into her mouth and swirled her tongue around.

"Oh God, that feels good, Buttercup," I moaned out softly, letting her know how incredible her mouth felt.

She slid her mouth fully over me and started moving up and down on my length, her eyes closed now as I watched. Holy mother of God, that felt good.

When she moaned, I felt the vibration, my cock twitching in her mouth, and I felt a small burst of pre-cum.

I brought my hands to her hair and ran my fingers through it gently. I was breathing hard now, the feel of her warm mouth sucking me was such intense pleasure that I didn't think I'd be able to hold out for long.

As my breath hitched in my chest, she increased her speed and suction. The sounds of the running water, my heavy breathing and the wet sounds of her mouth working my cock sent me over the edge and I panted out, "Grace, Grace, oh God, that's good. I'm gonna come, baby."

My hips surged forward of their own accord and she bobbed her head slightly, letting me know that I should come in her mouth which made my orgasm explode, hot and intense. I moaned through it as I watched her slow on me, swallowing all I had to give.

As she stood up and kissed me on my mouth, I swayed slightly. "What the hell? I didn't know you were a professional." I grinned smugly at her.

Her brow dipped for a split second before her eyes lit and she burst out laughing. "Very, very funny," she said, smacking me on my ass.

"Ow!" I said loudly, but then grinned again at her.

We finished washing each other and then got out of the shower to decorate our sad little tree. In truth though, when we sat back on the couch, snuggling, with a roaring fire in the fireplace, I looked at that half-bare, leaning tree, decorated with outdoor house lights, and I didn't think I'd ever seen a more beautiful Christmas tree in my life.

I pulled Grace against me and I knew without a doubt in my mind that I loved her. I was in love with the woman in my arms. In that moment, it was as clear and as peaceful as the snow falling gently outside the window. Maybe I had loved her for a long, long time. Was that possible? Did it even matter when it had happened, or why? Maybe love was complicated, and yet the simplest thing in the whole wide world.

She snuggled into me and the words hitched in my throat. After a minute, she turned to me and looked into my eyes dreamily. "Happy Christmas Eve, Carson," she whispered.

I smiled down at her. "Happy Christmas Eve, Buttercup," I said.

CHAPTER 34

Grace

I woke up to the sounds of birds outside the window, rays of sunlight streaming in around the closed shades. It was Christmas! I rolled over lazily and stretched, and then snuggled into Carson's warm back. He leaned back slightly and I kissed the smooth skin of his shoulders, my lips lingering on his small scar, breathing him in.

"Good morning," I heard him say groggily.

"Hi," I whispered, my lips still on his back. "So you don't always get up at the butt-crack of dawn, huh?" I teased.

He chuckled. "No, not always. Especially not when I have a warm, soft Buttercup to snuggle with."

He turned toward me and we snuggled for a few more minutes, our hands roaming and my nipples hardening, wetness pooling between my thighs.

"How are your muscles this morning?" he whispered.

"Good. Better," I whispered back. I could still feel some residual stiffness, but more like I'd worked out hard rather than threw myself under a moving train, like I'd felt the day before.

Carson moved over me and made love to me slowly and gently, moving his hips leisurely until I groaned out in frustration, and he smiled against my shoulder and sped up.

I cried out and Carson groaned against my neck when our orgasms hit us simultaneously, goosebumps rising on his skin.

"God, I love to hear you scream," he said, his breath hot against my ear, muffled so I could barely make out his words. He pulled out of me, rolling slightly to the side.

I smiled. "I'll try to get a hold on that," I said.

He leaned up. "No way. We'll just buy a house way out in the countryside so we won't disturb the neighbors." He grinned.

"A house?" I breathed, my expression going serious.

He studied me. "Someday, yeah, a house. I want to come home to you, Grace. I want to have Princess and Junior with you." He paused, his eyes filling with even more warmth. "I love you," he said softly.

My body stilled completely in his arms and I blinked at him, my lips parting. I had realized I loved him last night sitting in front of the fire looking at our pathetically beautiful Christmas tree, and it was confirmed for me a million times over as I stared into his vulnerable expression now. "I love you too," I whispered.

The smile that took over his face was stunning and immediate. "You do?" he asked.

I nodded my head, my eyes filling with tears. "Yeah, I do," I said. "I really do. And you remembered Princess and Junior," I whispered.

He grinned. "I'd never forget our kids, Buttercup."

I laughed and sniffled. "Merry Christmas, Carson."

"Merry Christmas, Grace. Come on, let's get up. I have something for you."

He stood up and started to move toward the bathroom to toss the condom and I sat up too. "What? You have something for me? How?" I was confused.

"Don't worry about that," he called from the hallway. "Just get up and pull something on."

I got up and pulled on Carson's boxer shorts and one of my sweatshirts.

I stopped by the bathroom and then went out to the kitchen to find Carson making coffee. I got the ingredients out for pancakes and bacon and started preparing to cook.

He came up behind me and put his arms around my waist, whispering into my ear, "I love you, I love you, I love you." He smiled against my neck. "I love saying that."

I grinned and turned my head so that I could kiss him. "Hmmm… I love hearing it. I love you."

We stood that way for a few minutes and then I whispered sadly, "I wish everything back in Vegas was magically fixed and we could just stay here forever."

He sighed. "Yeah, unfortunately it doesn't work that way, Buttercup. It's going to be okay though. Somehow, it is. And we're going to come back up here for Christmas next year and we're going to bring all our friends and family and we're going to celebrate the fact that it's all behind us."

I turned around, facing him now. "Promise?" I whispered, looking into his eyes.

He nodded. "Yeah, I promise," he said, kissing me softly on my lips. "Now make me breakfast, woman."

I pushed him away and then swatted him on his ass. "Move back, Carson Stinger. You're about to experience the best pancakes you've ever eaten."

"Yes, ma'am," he said, chuckling and going back to the coffee maker.

We sat down at the kitchen island to eat and Carson groaned when he took the first bite of my pancakes. "Good God, woman, you know your way around a bowl of batter."

I laughed. "Damn straight. I'm the Christmas morning pancake maker in my house," I said, picking up a piece of bacon and dipping it in syrup.

Carson looked up at me. "You okay not being with them today?" he asked.

I smiled. "I miss them, I need to call them in a little bit here. But there's nowhere I'd rather be than right here with you."

He smiled back but didn't say anything. We finished our breakfast and then brought a second cup of coffee each into the family room. There was a small present sitting under the tree. I raised an eyebrow and looked at Carson. "Seriously, how'd you manage that?" I asked, indicating my head to the gift below the tree.

He grinned. "I picked something up in town when I was buying your boots and coat."

I put my hands on my hips. "Hmmm, very sneaky." I frowned. "I don't have anything for you though. And you got me something. And it's our first Christmas," I said, looking up at him on a small frown.

Carson came over and pulled me to him. "Grace, I don't think you get me very well. You broke off your engagement, changed Christmas plans with your family, ran through an airport, changed a flight, borrowed a car, drove six hours, hiked through snow, and practically got frostbite to be with me. And then when I told you I was involved in activities not exactly looked upon favorably by the legal system, you accepted it without batting an eyelash. You asked what we were going to do when I told you about Josh, and you took the whole situation on without question." His eyes glittered down at me and my mouth fell open slightly.

"Well then," I whispered, "I guess a better question is, is that all you got me?" I tilted my head toward the gift under the tree.

He burst out laughing. "Yeah. I'll try to do better next year." He grinned.

I grinned back.

He let go of me to light a fire in the fireplace as I sat on the couch sipping my coffee. He brought me the small gift and I smiled at him as I tore the paper open.

It was a jewelry store box. I looked up at Carson and he smiled gently at me.

I pulled the top open and inside was a beautiful silver charm bracelet. I picked it up and looked at it closely. "It's beautiful," I whispered.

"Do you have one?" he asked.

"No, I don't have a charm bracelet," I said. "Will you put it on me?" I smiled, holding my wrist out.

"Wait, you didn't look at the charm," he said, turning the bracelet over.

I looked down at the small, silver coin on the other side. I stared at it for a minute, understanding flooding my brain. Tears filled my eyes and I looked up at him. "A shot for a secret," I said.

He nodded. "That's where it all started." He smiled at me and I threw my arms around him, kissing his face–his lips, his cheeks, his eyes, his forehead. "I love it. It's the best present I've ever gotten," I laughed out, through tears.

He laughed and kissed me back. "Good. I'm glad you like it. I can't wait to add to it," he said.

I nodded my head, sniffling as he fastened it around my wrist.

I kissed him one last time and then said, "I should call my family."

"Okay. We'll need to drive into town to get reception. Just pull on some warmer clothes and we'll make the call from my truck."

I nodded, still sniffing. I went back into the bedroom and pulled on my jeans and met Carson by the door as we pulled on our boots and jackets.

A few minutes later, we were driving into town. I took my phone out of my purse and turned it on, seeing that I had reception. I had checked it the couple times we were in town and I had texted my sisters once to let them know I'd made it to Utah. The only message on it now was a return text from Julia and a voicemail from her number too.

Carson pulled into a parking space on the street and turned to me. "Do you want me to take a walk while you make the call?" he asked.

I smiled, but shook my head no. I dialed my dad's number first and took a deep breath, biting my lip as I waited for him to answer.

When I heard his deep bark on the phone, I said softly, "Merry Christmas, Dad," with a smile in my voice.

"Grace?" his voice softened.

"Hi, Dad!" I brightened. "Having a nice morning?" I bit my lip.

"Well, yeah darlin', I am, only I'm kinda missing my oldest girl. Seems she's run off with some man and left her old dad and her sisters high and dry."

I laughed softly. "No, you know I'd never do that. It was just kind of an emergency situation and I had to act fast. You know how you always taught me to act first and ask questions later? Well, that's kinda what I did."

There was a beat of silence on the phone. "Well, I guess I can't argue with that. You love him, I suppose?"

I breathed out. "Yeah, Dad, I do, I love him." I laughed, looking over at Carson. He wasn't watching me, he was looking down at his own phone, texting, but I saw his shoulders still when I said I loved him.

"And," I continued, "I think you will too."

"Well, if he's someone who's got your love, Gracie, I gotta figure he's okay. What happened to the one we went to dinner with in Vegas? I forget his name now."

I laughed, knowing very well he didn't forget Alex's name. "We were just better off as friends."

"Well, better you realize that before the wedding, than after, so good job there." He paused. "I love you, Gracie."

I breathed a sigh of relief. "I love you too. Merry Christmas. Did you get the package I shipped?"

"Yup. Just about to rip into it. You'll have to get your presents at Easter."

I laughed. "Okay."

"Okay, Gracie. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Dad."

I hung up, sniffling and smiling at the same time. Then I texted Julia and Audrey a group text: Merry Christmas! Miss you! Love you! Group call ASAP next week! Xxoo

I turned off my phone and smiled over at Carson, scooting over and snuggling into his side. He hugged me to him.

"Everything good?" he asked quietly.

I smiled up at him. "Yeah, everything's good."

He grinned down at me and just as he was lowering his lips to mine, his phone rang.

Carson's brows snapped down and he answered it as I sat up and moved to my side of the cab.

"Hello?" he answered.

He listened for a couple seconds.

"Okay," he said, strain suddenly in his voice. "We're leaving now."

He then turned to me, worry in his expression.

"We need to get back and take a quick shower and pack. There's a situation back at the hotel. We've gotta go."

Carson had given me a quick run-down of what was going on as we showered very quickly and packed up the cabin.

Apparently, Dylan thought he was close to pin-pointing the location of the guy who had set Josh up, and they needed all the guys close-by, just in case.

There was also a situation going on on the forty-fifth floor with one of the women. She was pregnant and although she didn't know her exact dates, the doctor who had originally examined her thought she was about eight and a half months along. They all thought they could get her home before she had her baby, but she had gone into labor that morning. Likely, she was further along than they thought.

They had two doctors on the payroll that performed their services under the table, but both of them were out of town for Christmas. They would bring her to the hospital if necessary, but questions might arise there. They thought a better option would be to bring Josh in, since he had been a corpsman and was plenty qualified to deliver a baby.

We had to drive back to Vegas separately since we had two vehicles between us. That kind of sucked since I really wanted to use the time to discuss Josh's situation in more detail with Carson. Instead, I used the time to try to get things straight in my mind about the details of my own case against Josh, and whether there were any loose threads that could potentially be used to exonerate him. I went over each piece, but I couldn't come up with anything. Unfortunately, the evidence against him was overwhelming, and included plenty of DNA. Juries loved DNA–they'd come back with a guilty verdict in ten minutes. The more I thought about it, the more depressed I got. The only thing I could do was bungle the case so badly that Josh got off on a technicality. Of course, that would be career suicide. But I couldn't let an innocent man spend his life in prison. I groaned out loud. It felt like an impossible situation.

My mind went to Carson and my heart squeezed when I realized how dangerous a job he had taken on. How would I feel, sitting at home, knowing the risks he was taking every time he walked out the door on one of his "operations?"

I thought about that for a minute, and it suddenly occurred to me that I was already used to that scenario. I was a cop's daughter. I knew the risk my dad took every time he put his badge on, and I was fiercely proud, just like I was of Carson. I would deal with it, just like I always had with my dad, this time, knowing that the man I loved was doing work that fulfilled him, and made him a hero to those who truly needed him. Pride swept through me for the tenth time in the last couple of days.

Carson called me when we were about two hours from Vegas and told me to follow him off the freeway so that we could find a place to eat lunch.

When I pulled Dylan's SUV up behind his truck in the parking lot of a roadside Denny's and got out, he was walking toward me, smiling. I smiled back and ran the last few feet to him and jumped up, wrapping my legs around his waist. "I missed you," I said.

He was laughing. "I missed you too."

I kissed him for a minute, a gross display of PDA that I was sure was getting us plenty of "get a room" looks. I was okay with that.

I hopped down, kissed him one last time and said, "Do we have time to eat lunch?"

"Yeah, but we need to hurry."

We ate a quick lunch and were back on the road half an hour later.

When we pulled into the garage at Trilogy, I followed Carson to the back where he must have used a remote in his truck to open a roll-up door that upon first inspection, looked like a storage area.

He drove his truck in and I followed him, the door rolling down behind me. A light blinked on and I got out and looked around at the large, mostly empty area containing two other black SUV's, and now Carson's truck and Dylan's SUV.

Carson got out of his truck and I walked over to him. "What is this?" I asked.

"Just a more private place for us to park so no one can get in and run our license plates. Dylan doesn't usually park in here. His background wouldn't look interesting to anyone. But the rest of us do, and we keep a few extra vehicles here."

I nodded, the fact that Carson was involved in a bona fide secret operation suddenly very real.

We walked through a door and up a back staircase that opened into a hallway. Carson grabbed my hand as we rounded the corner and waited for an elevator.

When we stepped on, Carson pulled me to him and kissed me, hard and wet. He broke away and smiled down at me as I swayed on my feet.

"God, I love elevators," he said, and winked.

I laughed as the doors opened.

I followed Carson through lavish hallways to what looked like an office door. He knocked and opened it before getting any response.

He took my hand and we both stepped inside.

Three men turned their heads toward us. I didn't know the first man, tall and muscled, with black hair, wearing a deep frown on his face.

I recognized Dylan although he looked slightly more rumpled than a couple days before, and like he had been running his hand repeatedly through his messy, blonde hair.

I also recognized Josh Garner from his mug shot. I had thought he was a good-looking guy when I first looked at the picture, but it didn't do him justice. He was… well, he was no Carson Stinger, but he was easy on the eyes, that was for sure. He had dark brown, slightly spiky hair, a strong jaw and, yup, dimples. I knew this because he was walking toward us smiling.

He bumped Carson and Carson took a step to the side at the impact, and then Josh stepped in, holding out his hand to me. "Hi, I'm Josh," he said, smiling what I was sure was his best panty-melting smile. I couldn't help but laugh.

Carson stepped back next to me and pulled me to him before I could reach out for Josh's hand. "Yeah, fucker, this is Grace Hamilton, the prosecutor on your case. She was on board to help you, but you just reminded me why it might be a better idea to let her do her job well."

Josh laughed, dropping his hand. "Down boy. I was just making the lady's acquaintance." He winked at me. "Also, I think it's in my best interest to get on her good side."

"She's on my good side, and that's the best you should hope for," Carson said, giving Josh a searing look and moving us past him to the other guys. But I smiled at Josh as we walked by.

"Grace, you met Dylan," Carson said, gesturing his head to where Dylan was standing and then turning to the taller man, "This is Leland McManus. He owns Trilogy."

"Hi, Leland. Nice to meet you," I said and he nodded and smiled back, saying, "It's nice to meet you too." He had the most piercing blue eyes I'd ever seen. I suddenly realized that I had seen him before. He was the man I had run past that day in Carson's office. That had been less than two weeks ago and yet it felt like a lifetime.

I turned to Dylan. "Hi, Dylan. Thanks for letting me use your SUV." I grinned.

He looked between me and Carson and his face broke into a big smile too. "No problem. I can see it worked out well."

"Yeah, you could say that," I said, smiling up at Carson. He smiled back, his eyes soft.

"Okay, lovebirds, we all get the picture. There wasn't a lot of skiing going on in Snowbird. Let's get down to business here," Josh said, joining us and rolling his eyes as he looked around.

Dylan coughed and Leland stifled a laugh. Carson furrowed his brow at Josh, but one side of his mouth quirked up.

A cell phone rang and Leland pulled it out of his pocket, answering, "Hello?"

He looked over at Josh and nodded. "Okay, he's on his way down."

He hung up the phone and looked at Josh. "Your services are required, Doc," he said.

Josh nodded. "Okay. Anyone want to assist me here?"

Leland held up his hands. "I've got a hotel to run."

Dylan held up his hands. "I've got computer programs running that need monitoring…"

Josh rolled his eyes again. "Grace?"

"I don't mind helping," I said, looking at Carson.

"No way you're going down there with him alone," Carson said, narrowing his eyes at Josh.

"I'm going down there to deliver a baby, Carson. I'll be kinda busy."

"You're never too busy to be inappropriate," Carson returned.

Josh pretended to think about that. "True," he finally grinned, looking proud.

"Uh, guys, it sounded kind of serious down there," Leland interrupted.

We hurried out of Leland's office and Carson took my hand as we all three rushed to the elevator. Josh put a key in and then pressed forty-five and we rode down a couple floors.

There was a guard just outside the elevator and he nodded at us when he saw Josh and Carson. "Sounds pretty intense in there," the guard offered.

"Intense situations are our specialty," Josh said, raising his eyebrows. The guard laughed.

We walked down a hallway and heard yelling just beyond a door to the right.

Josh took out a key and opened the door and we all three took in the scene in front of us.

Carson

I had been in this room a hundred times over the last couple months but I tried to imagine what Grace was thinking now as I took in Maria lying on her side on the bed, hugging a pillow for dear life, and moaning loudly. Yoselin was putting a wet cloth on her forehead and Gisella sitting on the side of the bed rubbing her lower back.

The only other girls in the room were Deisy and Vanessa, both twelve. They were sitting huddled on the couch, watching a show on television, their eyes darting to Maria every few minutes. I looked over at Grace and motioned my head toward them. They were obviously scared.

All the women in the room were Venezuelan–the only ones we hadn't been able to get back home before Christmas, due to some problems getting their paperwork. But everything was in order now for them to fly out on the twenty-seventh. Looked like there would be one extra passenger.

Josh laid the First Aid kit he had brought on the bed, went straight to the bathroom to, I assumed, wash his hands, and I asked Yoselin how Maria was doing. Yoselin was the only one in the room who spoke English so she would need to translate.

"I've seen babies born, Mr. Carson. I think she's close."

I nodded. "Okay. Josh is going to check in just a second."

I looked up at Maria, eyes squeezed shut tight, moaning in pain. "Maria, we're here to help you deliver your baby. Everything's going to be fine." I felt like a jackass saying that. How the hell did I know everything was going to be fine? I didn't know a damn thing about delivering babies.

I turned to Grace, but she was already sitting on the couch with Deisy and Vanessa and they were smiling up at her as she doled out sticks of gum from her purse. Apparently there was no language barrier when it came to kids and gum.

Josh came out of the bathroom and got to work examining Maria. I moved to the side, ready to assist Josh if necessary, but not wanting to get in the way.

"She's ten," Josh said after a minute. "Baby is head down. Looks good. Let's do this! You with me Maria?" he asked.

She nodded her head, still grimacing.

Yoselin and Gisella both grabbed one of Maria's legs and she started to push. I went to the bathroom and got another cool cloth and a bunch of towels.

I returned to the room where Maria was now screaming during every push, the women counting in Spanish. I turned to Grace and she was leaning back on the couch, a girl in each arm, their faces pressed into her chest. I smiled at her and she gave me a weak smile in return.

Twenty minutes later, with one final scream, the sound of a baby's cry filled the room, and Maria collapsed back on the pillow.

"It's a boy!" Josh announced, tying off the umbilical cord with a piece of thread and cutting it with the small scissors. The baby cried out a few more lusty yells and then was quiet, opening his eyes and looking around. "Welcome to this crazy world, little man," Josh said quietly.

I looked over at Grace and she was watching Josh, her brow furrowed slightly, looking as if she was working out a puzzle. She was probably trying to figure him out–he was a smartass and a ladies man most of the time, but he had a different side to him too, the side who put himself in harm's way for the women we rescued, and the side that had just delivered Maria's baby with skill and sensitivity. He would confuse the hell out of some woman someday. I almost chuckled out loud.

I caught Grace's eye and she smiled gently at me, pulling the two girls closer to her and whispering something in their ears, one at a time. They smiled up at her.

Gisella and I started cleaning up the blood and the mess while Josh finished attending to Maria, and Yoselin held the baby, wrapped in a hotel blanket. He was quiet now.

Grace, Deisy and Vanessa came over to look at the baby, all smiling. Yoselin offered him to Grace and she took him in her arms, a dreamy look on her face as she peered down at him. She ran her fingers through his full head of thick, black hair.

"He's beautiful, Maria," she whispered.

We all looked at Maria and she was looking out the window, a small frown on her face.

"Do you want to hold your son?" Grace asked.

Maria shook her head, still not looking in his direction.

Grace, Josh and I all exchanged looks.

"Yoselin, will you ask her what's wrong?" I said quietly.

Yoselin went and sat next to Maria's head and talked to her quietly for a minute, and then looked up at all of us sadly.

"She says he is the devil's spawn and she doesn't want to touch him," she said.

Grace's eyes widened and she pulled the baby closer to her chest. "The devil's spawn…" she whispered. "Why would she say that?"

Yoselin looked at her. "Maria is only seventeen. Her family sold her to a man who came to her village in Venezuela and told them that she would be doing housework for rich families and could send some of the money back to them. Instead, he raped her and used her as he pleased. And then he brought her here to Vegas to sell her to other men. That is when she was rescued with the rest of us," she said, waving her hand around the room to indicate the other women and girls there.

Grace's eyes were wide with sadness as she blinked away tears. I had heard it all and worse, but it never ceased to make my guts squeeze with the sickness and depravity of it all. I'd never become de-sensitized to the horror of their stories. And as far as I was concerned, that was a good thing.

Maria started talking and Yoselin listened, her eyes growing sadder.

"She says that her mama always told her that us women are the gatekeepers of the world. Only we get to decide whose genes are passed on, which men become fathers. And we must choose wisely. She say that the boy is the spawn of an evil man."

I glanced at Grace and something fierce lit her expression.

She moved to the side of the bed and sat down next to Maria. She looked at Yoselin. "Will you translate for me?" she asked gently, and Yoselin nodded yes.

"Maria," she said, and Maria jerked slightly but continued to stare out the window. "I agree with your mama. But I also think that in our broken world, sometimes things happen that we don't control, or maybe don't plan. I agree that us women should be the gatekeepers, but I also believe that this world needs strong, good men, men who are raised by mamas who have seen what weak men do. You overcome by making your son everything his father was not."

Yoselin finished speaking quietly, and Maria's eyes darted quickly to Grace and then to the baby in her arms and then away.

My chest felt tight and I knew it wasn't only because I loved the woman speaking with such tenderness and conviction to a woman she didn't even know. It was also because my story began in a similar way to the unwanted boy lying in Grace's arms. And I knew Grace realized that too by the way her eyes landed on me repeatedly as she spoke, her voice soft, and filled with love.

Sometimes therapy takes years and years, and sometimes it can happen in one miraculous instant, a lifetime of doubt and self-hatred healed in a moment of astounding love.

Maria spoke, but she sounded a little unsure now. "He is half of him," Yoselin translated.

"He is half of you," Grace countered and Yoselin repeated.

Maria looked fully at Grace's face now, studying it.

"He's so precious, so beautiful," Grace said softly, her eyes falling on me, "Beauty from pain, a gift. Do you want to hold him?" she asked.

When Yoselin repeated, Maria shook her head no and spoke softly.

Yoselin said, "She wants to see him though."

Grace held the sleeping baby toward Maria so that she could peer down into his face. She looked at him for a minute and her face softened as she spoke. "She says he looks like her papa," Yoselin translated, smiling.

Grace smiled and held the baby toward her. After a minute, she reached out her arms and took him. She looked at him for long minutes as we watched her and then she snuggled him to her chest, a tear falling down her cheek. Yoselin and Gisella sat down on the bed next to her, snuggling both of them from either side, and the little girls climbed up on the bed and sat at Maria's feet, watching the women and the baby.

After a minute, Yoselin started to show Maria how to nurse him.

Josh moved toward the door, and I looked at Grace and smiled as she stood up and took my hand.

"Wrap a towel around his bottom for now," Josh said. "Someone will be back shortly with some diapers and clothes and other necessities."

The women looked up from the baby, smiled and nodded and moved their gazes down to his little face again.

Once we were all three on the elevator heading back down to Leland's office, Grace looked between me and Josh and asked sadly, "How do you do it?"

I looked at Josh and said, "How can we not?" Josh nodded, but didn't say anything, stepping off the elevator first when the doors opened.

Dylan rushed out of his computer room, a look of sheer excitement on his face. "Suit up boys," he said, "I got him."

CHAPTER 35

Grace

My heart was beating out of my chest as Carson rushed into Leland's office with the other guys. I stayed back, not wanting to get in the way. I knew that it all came down to this.

Leland glanced over at me, and Carson saw his movement and nodded at him, indicating it was okay to talk in front of me. My heart squeezed with love for him. He trusted me with everything.

"You gotta move, guys," Dylan said first. "He's in a warehouse in Henderson, but you know this guy, he doesn't stay anywhere very long. He fucked up–maybe he figured because it's Christmas, we'd be off duty."

"You got the location of the family too?" Leland asked.

"Yeah, that's how I got him. Fucker went through his estate gates in a delivery truck. Only, that particular delivery company doesn't deliver on Christmas day. Sloppy. I knew he must be inside and so I tracked it back to Henderson. And get this, he only has two guards with him–must have given the other three Christmas day off. He's quite the benevolent fellow."

All the men snorted.

"What else?" Josh asked.

"I downloaded the layout of the warehouse to your glasses."

"Okay, wait," Carson said, "we need at least three men to go in after Bakos. Takes that many of us just to clear a room properly. Any less would be too risky. That means we need you to film the family, Dylan."

"Who's gonna be the driver then?" Dylan frowned.

They all looked over at me and my eyes widened.

"No way," Carson gritted out. "No fucking way. We drive ourselves this time."

"We need a lookout, Carson," Leland said.

Carson shook his head. "We forgo a driver and a lookout this time. I won't risk Grace's safety. I'd be no good to you if I knew she was sitting outside waiting for us," he said, his jaw ticking.

The guys nodded. "Okay, no lookout this time," Leland said. "We capture Bakos, and Josh can go sit in the car while we question him and get what we need."

"Oh, hell no," Josh said. "If anyone gets the pleasure of talking to Bakos, it's me."

Leland paused. "Fair enough. Let's go get dressed. It's already dark out. We need to move."

Everyone nodded, starting to move toward the door. Apparently they had already made some kind of more elaborate plan and were just working out the details. At least I really hoped that was the case.

As we all walked out the office door, I noticed Leland's slight limp and recalled Carson's story of their team's ambush. It was a reminder to me that they were both lucky to be alive, and fear at what they were about to do, slid down my spine.

Carson took my hand and I followed the men down the hall to another room. Leland opened the door and he and Josh went inside. I saw lockers and showers and figured it must be where they "suited up," whatever that meant.

Carson faced me and pulled me into his arms.

"I'm scared," I said against his chest.

"Don't be, Buttercup. We won't make the same mistake twice. What happened with Josh was some strange fluke and we're gonna figure out what happened. But in the meantime, you have to trust that we're good at our job and we work together well. We know what we're doing."

I nodded, squeezing him tighter.

"Be careful, okay?"

He tipped my chin up with his finger, looking into my eyes. "No way I'm going to find you again after all these years and not get to enjoy you."

I smiled weakly.

"I love you, Grace," he said solemnly, almost reverently.

I closed my eyes for a brief second. "I love you too," I whispered.

He looked into my eyes for a couple beats and then smiled before he said, "Now, I'm going to bring you to a room where you can wait for me, maybe try to nap–"

I shook my head. "No way. I'm not staying alone in some hotel room going crazy."

"Baby, you can't leave this hotel. I can't be worrying about you when I need to be focusing on what I'm doing."

"I'll wait with the women and girls. The baby needs diapers anyway and some clothes."

He studied me for a second. "Okay. I'll walk you down to the gift shop. It's closed, but Leland has the master key. Then you stay on the forty-fifth floor. No leaving."

I nodded. "No leaving."

"Okay, come on."

Ten minutes later, I had a bag containing whatever baby products the gift shop had–diapers, wipes, five small I heart Vegas onesies, a pacifier, and a couple bibs. It would have to do until tomorrow.

Carson dropped me back off at the room where the women and girls were, kissed me one final time, and left.

I sank down onto the couch, a tear falling down my cheek. Yoselin gestured for me to join all of them, still on the bed, the baby and Maria fast asleep. Good thing it was a King.

And so that's where I waited for Carson, surrounded by those who had survived far worse than me, but were still able to give comfort when they saw another person in need of it. And if that wasn't a thing of beauty, I didn't know what was.

Carson

We all pulled out of the garage together, Dylan turning in the opposite direction to go to Bakos' family estate. I hoped to God he'd be all right. He wasn't trained for this part of it. He didn't need to get very close, but still, the risk was always there. We couldn't ever afford to get complacent–especially after what had happened on our last mission.

We needed more men, but for now, we'd have to do with what we had. Preacher would be joining us in the next year. He had agreed to move his family in order to work with us. And Noah would join us as well, as soon as his tour was over. It'd make the whole operation that much safer. But for now, we had to work with what we had–there wasn't much of a choice.

We followed the GPS to the location Dylan had given us and parked a couple blocks away.

We walked the several blocks to the warehouse, sticking to the shadows of the other buildings. The area was mostly industrial, and deserted due to the holiday.

Just like Dylan had said, there were no outside guards. We moved toward the building carefully and quietly, ducking behind anything we could upon our approach.

Josh and I watched behind us as Leland picked the backdoor lock. He had the door open in roughly thirty seconds. We all put our night vision goggles down and activated the building layout Dylan had downloaded. It showed up in the upper portion of our goggles.

Thankfully our budget was such that we had the most high-tech devices available.

We had already cleared several rooms without hearing any noise, when Leland halted in front of us. We all listened carefully. Was that music?

At Leland's command, we moved forward. Well, holy shit, it was music. Christmas music. We had showed up for a regular party.

I looked back at Josh and he gave me the thumbs up sign, grinning.

We moved in closer and I gestured to Leland to move to the right of the door. Josh took the left. The door was old and wooden, with a cheap, builders grade lock. Whether it was engaged or not, I wasn't worried.

I held up my fingers, counting, and when I got to three, Leland and Josh looked away as I used all my force to kick the door open. It flew inward, splinters flying, and we moved in before it could swing back toward us.

The guard closest to the door turned to us, raising his gun, but Leland moved on him and had him in a choke hold, his weapon skittering across the floor, before the other two men in the room had even fully turned around. He might not be able to run as fast as he used to, but Leland McManus was still a badass.

Josh scooped up the guard's gun, stuck it in the back of his pants and, with one swift movement, brought his knee up and made contact with the other guard, just starting to stand. He fell to the floor, unconscious.

I went for the third man who I recognized immediately by the pictures I had seen. Bakos. He was backing up across the room, going for something in the waistband of his own pants. I rushed at him and spun him around, removing the gun from his waistband and taking him in a chokehold as I held my own weapon to his side. He grunted as I pushed it into his soft flesh.

"Jesus. That was almost too easy," Josh said, not even breathing hard.

"I don't think you need to take the Lord's name in vain on his birthday," Leland offered.

Josh halted as he went toward the guard lying unconscious on the floor. "I wasn't taking the Lord's name in vain. I was praising him. Let me rephrase. Thank you, Jesus, for making that so easy!" he said, raising his arms to the sky.

I rolled my eyes. "Hey guys, can we focus here?" I asked. "We need to separate them." I gestured to the two guards and Bakos.

Leland said, "I'm going to tie these jokers up in the room next door and make sure they don't move.

I nodded and stood up straight. Bakos was fully restrained. I did one more quick pat down of his legs for weapons and sat on the edge of the one table in the room.

"Can we cut that shit off?" Josh asked indicating the music. Bing Crosby was crooning about a White Christmas from an iPod on a shelf in the corner.

I walked over and turned it off as Leland dragged the second guard out of the room, his limp just slightly more exaggerated under the guard's weight.

I gestured to the half-empty liquor bottle sitting next to three shot glasses. "That's one of the reasons, taking them down was like a cake walk," I said to Josh, shaking my head.

Josh turned to Bakos. "I'm disappointed, old man. I expected more."

Bakos narrowed his eyes, looking at Josh with disgust.

Josh now sat down on the edge of the table where I had been a minute before, pausing as he studied the fat man with the graying mustache tied to a chair in front of him. "So Bakos, turns out this probably won't be a very Merry Christmas for you. In fact, it's probably gonna be real shitty," Josh said, a bored expression on his face.

Bakos remained silent, his eyes moving back and forth between us.

"Here's how it's gonna go, jackass. I'm gonna press record on this little device here and you're going to tell the story about framing me for a murder that I didn't commit."

Bakos laughed. "Why would I do that?" he asked. "I won't talk. I'd rather die knowing you'll spend the rest of your life in prison for trying to ruin my business."

"Your business?" Josh asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Yes, my business. Where there is money, there is business."

"You're a piece of human garbage, you know–"

"Josh," I warned, "don't waste your breath on him. Let's just get what we need."

Josh looked back at Bakos, studying him. "We didn't figure you'd talk to save your own sorry ass, but maybe this will convince you," Josh said, taking his cell phone out of his pocket.

Come on Dylan, I thought. If he had been successful, there'd be a video streaming to Josh's phone right now.

He held it up in front of Bakos. Bakos' face paled.

And I knew we had been right. Even a sick fuck like Bakos, who sold human beings for a living, would try to protect his own family. We were bluffing, but by the look on his face, it was working. And in that moment, I knew that we had won.

Josh continued, "Recognize her? Cute, isn't she? See that little red dot that moves wherever she does? That's our sniper's gun. Start talking or he takes her out right now. The guard you have posted in the next room won't even be able to blink before we take them all out."

Bakos narrowed his eyes, a look of hatred on his face. Josh clicked on the tape recorder and after a long pause, Bakos started talking.

"I was in that old warehouse the night you came in. My men and I were going over plans to ship the merchandise out in the morning. While you were taking my guards down, I was able to make it to a hidden room with a trap door I had installed, with one of the girls as a hostage. The bitch cried and I heard you coming toward the room, so I watched out the peephole until you turned around, and then I opened it and hit you over the head with a rock I found on the floor. Simple. I dragged you inside, gagged the girl and waited until your men left. Then I executed the bitch with your gun, put some of her blood on your clothes, and left the rock in her hand. I dropped you off in an abandoned house. Easy. I barely broke a sweat." Bakos went silent, glaring at us.

Josh clicked off the recorder, his eyes never moving from Bakos. He sent the file to Dylan, and his phone dinged a second later saying Dylan had gotten it and that the file was good.

None of us moved as Josh watched Bakos, a storm of disgust moving through his eyes. I glanced down to his hand and I saw it fist, but I didn't stop him. Josh moved forward like lightening and punched him in the face, Bakos' head whipping back, and blood flying out his nose. His head lolled on his neck–he was out cold.

Josh turned around, his jaw clenching as he shook his hand out. "Holy shit. Hidden rooms with trap doors? He got me with some Scooby Doo shit." He ran his hand through his hair, letting out a small, humorless laugh.

I shook my head. I was sure he was affected by hearing how the girl we had come to rescue, had ended up shot in the head. So was I. I clapped him lightly on his shoulder. "Let's go, Shaggy. I believe we have a delivery for the head prosecutor on your case. Call the police and give 'em the address where they can find this waste of space." I indicated my head back towards a now unmoving Bakos. "Let's move," I said quietly.

Ten minutes later, we were pulling around the corner as we heard the sirens moving in the direction of the warehouse.

CHAPTER 36

Two weeks later

Grace

I pulled my dress up my hips and smiled into the mirror. The last two weeks had gone by in a whirlwind. A happy whirlwind, but an intense one.

After presenting the videotape evidence to Larry, we brought it to the judge and the murder case against Josh was dismissed a couple days later. Bakos was taken into custody. Although he attempted to recant what he had said on tape, claiming it was taken under duress and he had lied to save the lives of his family, the evidence found in the warehouse and his computer system was far too overwhelming. The murder he had framed Josh for was only one of the charges filed against him.

Larry, my boss, the D.A., had come to me the next day and asked me if I would trust him to present an idea to his contacts and good friends, higher-ups in the police department.

And so on a cold, drizzly Sunday in the beginning of January, Carson, Josh, Leland and Dylan had sat behind closed doors for three hours, while I chewed my nails to the quick and jumped every time my cell phone rang.

Finally, when I was so wound up, I didn't think I could wait a second longer, there was a knock on my door and when I swung it open, Carson was standing in my doorway, grinning at me.

I had squealed and jumped into his arms, kissing his face again and again. "They agreed?" I asked.

"Yup. You're looking at not just a member, but also the leader, of the Vegas P.D. Sexual Trafficking Task Force. First of its kind."

I sucked in a breath and tears came to my eyes. Larry had listened to my story about how I had come by the tape and although I didn't say that I knew the names of the group members other than Josh, he didn't ask. A couple days later, he had come to me and asked me if I thought I could contact them with an opportunity. People he trusted wanted to talk to them.

It turned out that the police department didn't have a budget for their own task force, but they were very interested in getting behind one that took care of its own training and own budget. They wanted to do more in the world of trafficking but their hands were tied. And so Carson and the guys now had the full support of law enforcement behind them, without having to strictly work within the guidelines of the police department. That last part may not have been spelled out exactly, but it was understood.

Carson and the guys would still focus on rescuing the victims, and they would still put them up at the hotel while their transport home was being arranged. But now they could also focus more energy and effort on tracking the location of the people in charge of the crime, and turning them over to the police without raising questions. It was still a dangerous job, but I would rest easier knowing that it was a legitimate operation, and although there were plenty of risks, a possible prison sentence wasn't one of them.

Trafficking crime in Vegas was already lower because of their team. Word had gotten around that Vegas wasn't the best place to do business if human beings were your commodity. But unfortunately, it would never stop completely. It was a sad truth that where there was money to be made, there would always be someone to sell their soul to the devil.

But my heart belonged to one of the good guys, and his heart belonged to me.

Work had picked up for me too. I was given the case of prosecuting Bakos, my first actual murder trial, or at least the first one that would end up going to court. Once the trafficking charges came to light, the case was suddenly thrust into the limelight, both on a local level, but also on a national level. I didn't necessarily love being involved in something high profile, but I was glad that human trafficking was being discussed. People needed to know the reality of it, if they were going to be inspired to help the cause.

Alex had decided to take the job in San Francisco after all. We had sat down and talked, and he had assured me that it wasn't solely because of our break-up, but that he thought it would be a good thing for both of us anyway. I wished him nothing but happiness. He was a good man–he just wasn't the man for me.

I took a deep breath and finished my hair and makeup. As I was putting on my charm bracelet, I heard a knock at my door.

I opened it and there he was, standing before me in all his masculine beauty. I leaned my head to the side, and rested it against the open door as I held it steady. I sighed in appreciation as I took him in; gray, suit pants, black, dress shoes, and a light blue, dress shirt.

He grinned. "You look beautiful, Buttercup."

I smiled back. "Thank you, Agent Stinger." I winked, opening the door wider for him to pass through.

I closed the door and he gathered me in his arms and kissed me as I brought my hands up to his hair, a little longer now, more like it had been the first time we met. I felt its silky texture under my fingers and thought about the first time he had kissed me, on that elevator, a million years ago.

I pulled my lips away from his and gazed up into those hazel eyes, thinking about who he had been, and what he had become, a fierce pride swelling in my heart.

"What?" he asked, his eyes moving over my face.

"You," I said, my face growing serious. "You're stunning. On the outside, but even more so on the inside. The world is a better place with you in it, Carson Stinger," I whispered.

His eyes glittered down at me. "I love you, Grace Hamilton."

I smiled at him. "I love you too."

He smiled back. "Ready to go celebrate?"

I grabbed my purse off my counter. "Yup."

Twenty minutes later, we were walking into the bar at the Bellagio where I had walked away from Carson Stinger, Straight Male Performer, all those years ago.

Josh was there, busy hitting on a pair of blondes sitting at the bar, and Leland and Dylan were sitting at a table, chatting.

Carson started pulling me and as we approached the table, the men turned and smiled, calling out to me and Carson, Dylan saying, "Hey Prosecutor!"

When the first round of drinks came, Leland raised his glass first and looked around at the guys. "To Ara," he said, "Always."

"To Ara," they all said. And we all raised our glasses and toasted in memory to the girl whose life and death inspired a whole group of good men to go to radical lengths to save others like her. It was her legacy, her last gift to the world. And it meant that she hadn't died in vain.

We laughed and talked and celebrated that night. Celebrated all they had accomplished, all they had overcome, and all that they would always work to vindicate.

As Dylan was in the middle of telling a story, I caught Carson's eye and I smiled. As he smiled back, his eyes warm and happy, I thought back to our first exchange in this very bar, and how I had thought I hated him. I looked at the same man in front of me now, the man I knew I never wanted to live without. And I thought to myself, life is wild.

Carson

I hung up the phone and sat at my desk thinking about the call I had just been on. I had spoken with the Houston Chief of Police. He wanted us to organize a similar task force in their city, as human trafficking was a growing crime demographic, and they simply didn't have the resources to address it.

I'd have to talk to Leland, but I thought it was a good possibility that we could get something going there, maybe not just in Houston, but in other cities as well. He had a lot of contacts–wealthy contacts–that would have the means to fund an operation like ours.

Leland was out today, and so I opened my computer and started composing an email that he would see tomorrow morning, outlining all my thoughts on the proposal, making sure I wrote it all down while it was still fresh in my mind.

Twenty minutes later, I heard a small knock on my door and called, "Come in."

Grace peeked in and smiled and I grinned back at her. "Hey baby, this is a nice surprise."

"I brought lunch." She smiled, holding up a couple of takeout bags. "Hot dogs."

I laughed. "God, that sounds good. How'd you know I love hot dogs?" I asked teasingly, as she placed the bags down and walked around my desk to sit on my lap.

"Oh, I know everything about you, Carson Stinger," she said, a glint in her eye.

"You think so, do you?" I asked, smiling and kissing her neck.

She laughed as I tickled her ear with my tongue. "Hmmm hmmm," she said.

"But," she paused, "you don't know everything about me."

I pulled away from her ear, raising one eyebrow. "Oh really?" I asked.

She shook her head. "No. I have a secret."

"A secret? Ah, well how about we play a little game then? A shot for a secret?"

She grinned and tilted her head. "Well, okay." She leaned forward and took the pens out of the cup on my desk and moved it to the far edge. Then she reached into her purse, next to the takeout bags, and pulled out a dime.

She held it up to me and I took it out of her hand. "Last time I made a shot and got your secret, my whole life changed."

She just looked at me, her face going serious. But then she smiled, nodding her head in the direction of the cup.

I raised an eyebrow again. What was she up to exactly? But I lined up my shot and threw the dime. Solid dunk. Yup, I still had it. I grinned at her.

"Give it up, Buttercup," I said.

She nodded and licked her lips, looking serious again. "So, as it turns out, your boys are really good swimmers too," she said quietly, her eyes studying mine.

"My boys?" I asked, confused. She just kept looking at me.

And then I suddenly understood and my whole body froze beneath her. "You're pregnant?" I breathed out.

She nodded her head yes, still studying my eyes warily.

"You're pregnant," I repeated, letting it sink in. "We're having a baby."

"Yes," she said.

I couldn't help the grin that spread over my face. She blinked at me.

"You're happy?" she whispered.

I nodded. "Yes, Buttercup, I'm happy." I smiled. "Very happy."

She laughed, but it sounded like there was a small sob beneath it.

"Did you think I wouldn't be?" I asked.

She shook her head. "I thought you'd be happy, but I wasn't sure… the timing… I know you have a lot going on and we're…"

"Grace," I said, looking into her eyes. "I'm happy," I repeated, letting her see in my face that it was true.

When she nodded, tears starting to roll down her cheeks, I said, "Marry me, Grace. Marry me today. Let's go to one of those chapels on the strip. We're already practically living together. Let's make it official."

She laughed through her tears. "I don't want you to marry me because I'm pregnant," she said.

I frowned. "Marry you because… Grace, I've been waiting to marry you for five years now. Maybe I didn't exactly know it, but it's true."

She laughed and then smiled at me for a few beats before replying, "Okay, I'll marry you. But not in a chapel on the strip. I want our friends and family there."

I smiled at her. "Okay, whatever you want, Buttercup," I said, hugging her to me.

After a minute I pulled away from Grace, frowning as something occurred to me.

"What?" she asked.

I put my hand on her belly. "I think this needs to be a boy. I don't know if I can handle having a daughter."

She smiled a gentle smile at me, understanding my reasons for that. "If I remember my biology lessons correctly, the man is in charge of the baby's gender."

I breathed out. "Okay, then it's in the bag," I said. I bent down and whispered to her belly, "Hey, Junior."

She grinned and kissed me, for the second time, giving me a secret and changing my life.