Take a Chance

Grant

Rosemary wasn’t a big town. It was a small strip of beach. So how was it that Harlow had managed to completely avoid me for three days? I had done everything I could think of to run into her. I knew she had Mase here but I still wanted to get her alone so I could talk to her. I needed to find my peace with her.

I stood outside the club, waiting on her to pull up. She had tennis in ten minutes. I had cheated by having Woods call Adam and ask her court time then had him change it for an hour later. He hadn’t been happy about it but he had also wanted me out of his office so he had agreed as long as I left him alone for the rest of the day.

I watched as Harlow pulled her car up to the valet and climbed out in a short white tennis skirt that didn’t help my focus. Tennis skirts weren’t meant to be that damn sexy.

I walked over to open the door for her before one of the staff could. She lifted her eyes and stopped walking when she saw me standing there. I could see the questions in her eyes and I wanted to answer every damn one of them. She just needed to listen.

When she started walking again she kept her head down and attempted to go inside without acknowledging me. I gently wrapped my hand around her arm. “Your court time was postponed an hour today. I need to talk to you. If you will let me talk. I will leave you alone if that’s what you want. I just need you to listen to me first.”

Harlow’s spine was stiff as I spoke quietly in her ear. She didn’t move or respond right away. Finally, she simply nodded.

“Thank you,” I replied. “We need privacy. Will you come to my truck?”

Harlow let out a defeated sigh. “Yes, I guess I will.”

She wasn’t happy about it but she was doing it. I needed to celebrate the small victories.

We walked in silence to the parking lot and I unlocked my truck and opened her door then walked around and climbed in on my side.

“Talk. I’m listening,” she said without looking at me. Her eyes were fixed straight ahead.

“What we did . . . what happened meant something to me.”

Harlow didn’t even flinch.

“When I got the call about Jace I rushed back in a state of shock. Then . . . then I watched as Bethy completely crumbled. At the funeral, she was bent over in so much pain from her loss that it terrified me. She had planned forever with Jace. She had loved him with everything she had and he had been taken from her. She couldn’t get him back.”

Harlow was still staring straight ahead, although I could see the worried frown on her face.

“And all I could think was what if I loved someone that much and I lost them? How could I live? I glanced over at Rush and Blaire. He was holding her while she wept and I wondered how he would even be able to wake up every morning if he lost her. Or if he lost Nate.” I paused and took a deep breath. I was more open than I’d been with anyone about this. I hadn’t even explained it this way to Blaire and Rush. I had held myself back some. I was just laying it all out for Harlow.

“I decided I never wanted to be that vulnerable. I never wanted to love someone that much. I never wanted to face losing the one person that owns me. So, I got drunk. Because I also realized I could easily fall in love with you. In just two short weeks I had begun to care for you. I had feelings I hadn’t experienced before. Not like that, at least. It scared me. I knew you would be the one to own me if I let you. I ran from it. I drank too much whiskey and when Nan showed up I messed up. I should have stayed away from her. But in my head she was the one I thought I was in love with once. I hadn’t been. I realized that after only two weeks with you. I was in lust with Nan. I liked being needed by someone, and Nan needed me. That was all it ever was for us.”

Harlow finally dropped her gaze to her lap as she twisted her hands nervously.

“I never meant to hurt you. Hurting you is the last thing I ever wanted to do. What you gave me I didn’t deserve, but believe me when I tell you I’ll cherish it forever. It meant more to me than you know. But I shouldn’t have taken your innocence that night. I should have been a man and realized I didn’t deserve it and walked away. But you made me weak. It’s one of the things about you that scares me. No one has ever made me weak.”

Finally, Harlow turned her head to look at me. Her hazel eyes no longer looked hard. Instead, I saw understanding there. She simply nodded. “Okay. You’re forgiven.” Then she opened the door and climbed out without another word.

I sat there and tried to let all the emotions that were churning inside me calm down. I didn’t want her to take it so easily and walk away. But I couldn’t give her more. That was it for us. I had explained it and she forgave me. So, we were over now? The ache that came with that reality hurt. I reached up and rubbed my chest and laid my head back on the seat and closed my eyes.

“What did I just do?” I muttered.

A loud knock on my window caused me to jump as I opened my eyes and sat up to see Mase standing there.

I rolled down my window as he pushed his sunglasses up and onto the top of his head.

“What was that about?” he asked.

“I needed to explain some things to her. I had hurt her and I needed to make sure she knew the truth.”

“What was the truth?” Mase asked, his eyes narrowing as he studied me.

“That I wasn’t ready for any kind of commitment and she was the kind of girl you committed yourself to.”

Mase snarled. “Hell yeah, she is, and she’s too good for you. Harlow won’t ever settle for Nan’s seconds. And dude, you’re Nan’s seconds.” He moved his sunglasses back into place and sauntered off to that black truck of his that needed a damn car wash.

As pissed off as I was, he was right. I wasn’t good enough for Harlow. I knew that, dammit. I didn’t need reminding.