The Black Swan

Fire!

I had become a different person. I was no longer an ignorant girl. I was a woman. I was seeing things differently. Roland and I were lovers; and love, people say, and I suppose they are right, is the most wonderful thing in the world. I felt that I was no longer alone. My husband was closer to me than anyone had ever been before... even my father, Joel and Rebecca. This was a relationship of greater intimacy; and I felt more at peace than I had felt would be possible since my father’s death. Roland had given me all this and there was nothing I needed more.

I tried to explain this to him and he was very moved.

Everything seemed different now. I was looking forward to being home. We had to make plans and decide how we were going to live. I wanted to keep Manor Grange and why should we not? It would be difficult to find a more attractive house. I had seen what he called his pied-à-terre in London. It was a narrow house with two rooms on each floor-there were eight in all, and that included two in the basement. “It seemed quite enough for Phillida and me while we were up here,” he explained, “and we saw no reason to change.”

He had recently sold the country house in Yorkshire, he told me. “That was about a year ago. It seemed the wise thing to do. We could not get there very often. We were never very happy there after our parents died. We should have sold it long ago. When I am in Yorkshire now I stay at an hotel in Bradford.”

So the pied-à-terre was his only home.

“Phillida and I never cared much about possessions,” he explained. “In that case, we’ll make Manor Grange our home, and when you have to be in London there will be the pied-à-terre.”

“Yes. Perhaps it is best to leave it like that for a while. Let’s see how it goes.

We’re together. That’s all that matters.”

There was a great welcome for us at Manor Grange.

Phillida was in the hall, her eyes wide with excitement. She hugged us both. “I’m so glad to see you,” she cried. “I’ve missed you so much. I’ve just been counting the days. My goodness, you look well... both of you. You’ve had too much sun. You have to be careful of foreign sun.”

“It’s the same old sun, you know,” said Roland.

“Yes, but at a different angle or something. However, I must say you look well.”

She looked a little anxious for a moment. “And you have had a wonderful time.” It was almost as though she were urging us to tell her so that she could be reassured that everything had gone well. I thought what a delightful person she was to care so much for us.

“We have had a wonderful time. We’ve seen Naples,” I told her.

“Don’t they say ‘See Naples and die’?”

“That means it’s so wonderful you must see it before you die.”

“It’s an odd way of expressing it, don’t you think, Lucie? ‘See Naples and die.’

“ She laughed as though it were a great joke.

Roland said rather sharply, “It was all wonderful. We’ve had a most thrilling time.”

“And now you’re back, and it is lovely to see you. I’ve had a hot bottle put in your bed.”

“Was that necessary?” I asked.

“I thought it might be a little damp. And I told them to light a fire. It’s chilly in the evening.”

“How have you been getting along?” I asked.

“Splendidly. I love it here. It’s a wonderful old house.”

We went to our room. It looked comfortable and inviting. I resisted the temptation to go to the window. Roland would know why I did it, so I desisted. Roland left me alone to unpack and while I was doing this there was a knock on the door and Mrs. Emery came in.

“I trust everything is satisfactory, Miss Lucie. Oh ... I suppose I mustn’t call you that anymore. It’s Mrs. Fitzgerald I suppose now.”

“You may call me what you like, Mrs. Emery. I think it is going to take a little time to get used to Mrs. Fitzgerald. Everything is fine.”

“Oh.” She nodded, but I could see that something was wrong because of the pursed lips and the tilt of the head. I was on the point of asking but I decided to postpone it, for there was little time now as dinner would be served in half an hour. I said, “We’ll have a little chat tomorrow, Mrs. Emery.”

“Yes,” she replied. “Thank you, Miss Lucie. I’d appreciate that.”

“It’s good to be home.”

“I hope it was a happy honeymoon.”

“It was wonderful.”

“Emery will be glad to hear of that... and so am I.”

“Tomorrow then, Mrs. Emery, we’ll have our little chat.”

She was satisfied temporarily, but I was faintly disturbed. What could be wrong? However I did not give a great deal of thought to the matter for I knew that, good housekeeper that she was, she easily took offense if she thought her authority had been flouted.

Phillida chattered throughout dinner-in fact, she scarcely stopped.

“My tongue is running away from me,” she said. “I can hear Roland saying, ‘Nothing extraordinary about that,’ but I am so glad to have you back. I’ve spent the time thinking about what I could do to make things comfortable for you. Oh, I don’t mean that this isn’t a comfortable house... and the servants are just wonderful... but, you know what I mean... that extra something. I put flowers in the room. I hope you liked them, Lucie.” I said indeed I did and I thanked her. It was true that I had noticed them in passing but I had been so eager to unpack and, when Mrs. Emery had come in nursing some grievance, I had forgotten about the flowers.

“I thought they would be a little extra welcome home.”

“They were,” I replied. “It was thoughtful of you.”

“I do want to be useful here. You see, Lucie, this is your house....”

Both she and Roland were looking at me anxiously.

“But that makes it so convenient, doesn’t it?” I said. “Roland and I have been talking about where we would live, and this seems ideal. There is plenty of room. And then there is your little place in London when Roland is there on business. He can get there so easily from here.”

“We decided we would try it like that and see how it worked,” put in Roland.

“And you won’t mind my being here... ?”

“My dear Phillida, of course I want you to be here. How could it be otherwise? Do you understand that?”

“Yes ... I think I do. I just wanted to hear you say it.”

“This reminds me,” said Roland. “I shall have to go to London in the morning ...just for the day ... to see how things are.”

“There’s something I have to tell you,” said Phillida, a little shamefacedly. “I’ve brought Kitty here.”

“Really!” said Roland.

“Who’s Kitty?” I asked.

“She’s a woman who works for us in London. We have a Mr. and Mrs. Gordon who live in the basement there and Kitty who comes in every day to help. She’s been like a personal maid to me and I did miss her. So I’ve brought her here. I hope you don’t mind.”

Fire!

“What do you mean ... to work?”

“Well... only for me. She does all sorts of things with my clothes... sewing and all that. She’s very handy. I missed her... and, of course, with my being down here and Roland on his honeymoon, there really wasn’t anything for her to do in London. She got restive, so ... I brought her down here. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Of course not,” I said. “What is she like?”

“Middle-aged... very clever with her hands... needlework and all that. She’s really a treasure. I am sure you will find something you’d want her to do for you.”

“Well, I can’t think of anything at the moment,” I said.

Phillida went on. “She was getting a bit worried... with all this change. I knew she relies on what she earns. I couldn’t let her go ... and as we shall be here such a lot ...”

“I understand, of course.”

Phillida looked immensely relieved. “I didn’t want you to think I was interfering ... or behaving like the mistress of the house.”

“Of course I wouldn’t do that!”

“Phillida is rather impulsive, I’m afraid,” said Roland. “Perhaps it would have been better, Phillida, if you had waited to ask Lucie.”

“I knew it would ... as soon as I’d done it. But the poor woman was so worried ...

I just had to tell her it would be all right. Forgive, Lucie?”

“Of course it’s all right. Have you met many people round here yet ... in the village for instance... while we’ve been away?”

“I haven’t. I have been too busy... exploring the house for one thing. Isn’t it fascinating? I’m so excited because I’m going to live here ... at least until other plans are made.”

We retired early.

“Traveling is more exhausting than one realizes at the time,” said Roland. We had not been in our room for more than a few minutes when there was a knock on the door. It was Phillida. She was carrying a tray with two glasses on it.

“I want you to try this,” she said. “It’s really very nice. It’s what they call a nightcap. There is a shop in St. James’s where they sell it ... a health shop, they call themselves. They have all sorts of herbs and things. I bought this and tried it. It’s a sort of gruel... only much nicer. You take it in hot milk every night and it gives you peaceful sleep.”

“And you believe it?” asked Roland.

“My dear brother, I know it. I would not suggest you take it if I had not first tried it out myself.”

She set the tray on a table while Roland and I sat side by side on the bed.

“You stir it,” she said, “and there it is. Lucie ...” I took the glass she offered.

“And Roland.”

“I always have it last thing before I get into bed,” she told us. “Now drink it.”

She watched us while we obeyed.

“It’s rather pleasant, isn’t it?”

We agreed that it was.

“Now... I’ll go.” She kissed both of us. “Good night, my precious ones. I can’t tell you how happy I am to have you home,” she said. “I was rather worried about you... wandering about in foreign parts.”

She smiled at us rather tremulously and, taking the tray, went out. The next morning Roland went off early to catch the train, promising he would be back in the evening.

I remembered that I had an appointment with Mrs. Emery, so I went to her sitting room where she asked me if I would like a cup of her Darjeeling, and, knowing that she might be even more put out if I declined, I said that I should like that. There followed the somewhat ceremonial ritual of making the tea and when we had our cups before us, she came to the point.

“I’ve been in this house a good many years, Miss Lucie,” she began. “And I trust I know my place and do my work well.”

“But of course you do, Mrs. Emery.”

“There have never been any complaints that I have known of.”

“Certainly there have not. Everyone, including my father, had nothing but praise for all you did.”

“I’ve run this house for more years than I care to recall.”

I was getting uneasy. This long preamble suggested something more serious than I had imagined.

“Do tell me what has upset you, Mrs. Emery.”

“Well, Miss Lucie, it is the task of the housekeeper and the butler to engage staff... the housekeeper for the females and the butler for the men ...”

“Yes.”

“It seems there are some who think they can come in and change all this.” I knew now what was wrong. “You object to this new maid whom Miss Fitzgerald has brought with her?”

“I do that, Miss Lucie. I’ve always engaged the staff in this house, and I see no reason why there should be changes.”

“I don’t think Miss Fitzgerald meant to interfere with your rule, Mrs. Emery.”

“I didn’t employ this Kitty ... or whatever her name is ... to come here.”

“Has she done anything to which you object?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that. But she does come into the kitchen. Mrs. Grant won’t like that.”

I could not imagine Mrs. Grant, our fat and comfortable cook, would have any objections.

She did not have Mrs. Emery’s rigid code of protocol.

“I’ve spoken to Mr. Emery about it and he agrees with me,” she went on. Didn’t he always have the good sense to agree with Mrs. Emery? I could see now that she felt her dignity had been affronted and I had to put that right.

“I think I can explain this to you,” I said. “Mr. and Miss Fitzgerald only have a small house in London. They have a man and his wife living in and there was Kitty who came in to help. There wasn’t enough for Kitty to do and she does, of course, act as a sort of personal maid to Miss Fitzgerald ... so she came here. She’s not really concerned with the household. She will just be attached to Miss Fitzgerald, you understand?”

“Well, I wasn’t asked, Miss Lucie.”

“I am sure Miss Fitzgerald thought that as Kitty was really her maid it would be all right. She would be most upset if she knew she had hurt your feelings.” Mrs. Emery was a little mollified.

“Well, I’m glad you’re back, Miss Lucie. You’re the mistress of the house and that’s something everyone should remember.”

“Oh, I’m sure they do. Miss Fitzgerald did mention Kitty to me and she was most apologetic for what she had done. She said she acted on the spur of the moment. There was no work for Kitty and she did not want to dismiss the poor girl.”

“She’s no girl. She’s a woman close on forty, if you ask me.”

“I see. I haven’t met her yet. But Miss Fitzgerald really meant no harm. And Kitty must stay here. Don’t hold it against her, Mrs. Emery.”

“Well, as long as I know where I stand, Miss Lucie.”

“I think you know how much I appreciate you and it upsets me very much to know that you are unhappy.”

“Oh, I didn’t say that. But I’ve always done my work here as well as I could and I’ve always felt people knew that. I was aware of just where I stood and I thought everyone else was. I just didn’t like strangers coming in and setting up their own rules.”

“Well, you see, Miss Fitzgerald is hardly a stranger. She is now my sister-in-law; and I hope we are all going to get along well together.”

“Now that you put it like that, Miss Lucie ...”

“Well, that’s how it is, Mrs. Emery. And I must say, you make one of the best cups of tea I ever tasted.”

She was mollified.

It was a storm in a teacup, I thought, smiling to myself.

During the day I met Kitty. She was different from what I had been expecting. She was a big woman... quite forty, I should say. She had little to say for herself when Phillida introduced us.

“This is Kitty,” said Phillida. “She is really making herself useful.”

“I hope you like it in the country, Kitty,” I said.

“Oh yes, ma’am,” she replied.

And that was all.

Roland returned that evening. I had missed him even in that short time. I told him this and it delighted him.

At dinner he explained that there had been quite an accumulation at the office. The clerk had had to leave a good many matters for him to attend to; and he thought he would have to go up for a short spell... perhaps four or five days. “I suppose you’ll be hard at it all day and half the night,” said Phillida. “I know you work in an erratic fashion and seem to take a lot of time off.” She turned to me. “But when he works he works.”

“She’s right,” said Roland. “That is how it goes. It’s spasmodic in a way. But I really must go soon. In a day or so ... I think on Monday... and I shall probably be up for the whole week.”

“As long as it is no more we’ll allow it,” said Phillida. “Lucie and I will be counting the days till your return.”

“Can’t we go with you?” I asked.

Roland hesitated and Phillida said, “Well, from experience, I know it will be better for him to get the work done quickly. He’d be worrying about us all the time if we went. It would take two or three weeks instead of not quite one. You go on Monday, Roland, and then you can be back by Friday and we can all have a lovely carefree weekend.”

He was hesitating, looking at me apologetically.

“I think it’s for Roland to decide,” I said.

“Well,” he replied, with reluctance in his voice. “I suppose Phillida is right. Perhaps it’s better to get on with it quickly... without distractions... very welcome ones, I hasten to say. But this does need a great deal of concentration and I shall be working all hours.”

“Go and come back soon then,” I said.

“It’s settled then.” Roland sounded gloomy.

“It will soon pass,” I assured him.

Phillida came to our room that night with glasses of her special beverage.

“Now did you feel the benefit last night?” she asked.

We looked at each other and smiled.

“Oh, come on,” she said. “Of course you did. I know, I tell you. I’ve studied these things. This is good for you. It’s got all the ingredients on the packet and they all have special virtues. And, promise me, Roland, when you are in London, you will take it. I shall make you take some with you and I shall want your solemn promise.”

“All right, I promise.”

She was looking at him quizzically.

“Do you want him to swear on the Bible?” I asked.

“My dear Lucie, if he promises me, he will do it. My brother is a man of honor. Now, drink up like good children.”

“We are not good children,” said Roland. “At least we are not children.”

“I know I can be a fussy old hen. But you see, I love you both so much, and I have missed you, and now I have you back. And Roland is going away!”

“Never mind,” said Roland. “You will still have Lucie to coddle.”

She flew at us and kissed us both, her eyes misty.

“My dears,” she said, “I love you both so much.”

We drank our beverages which were really rather pleasant and, as she had on the previous night, she took the tray away and left us.

After the weekend Roland left for London. I knew that I was going to miss him for there was no doubt in my mind now of the deep affection he had aroused in me. It was not what I had felt for Joel. I supposed I had been innocent and romantic when I had fallen in love with him. This was a more sober affection. I felt peaceful with Roland; and I realized that this was what I had needed for so long. I had written to Rebecca telling her how I felt, for I could open my heart to her. She replied at once and said how happy she was for me. She was sure I had done the right thing and had known as soon as she had seen Roland that he was the one for me.

I spent a lot of time with Phillida. She was very interested in every subject raised and she wanted to hear all about the places we had visited in Italy. We went to the library-my father had built up quite an extensive one at Manor Grange-and there we were about to find some references to Naples, Pompeii and Amalfi. Phillida said how wonderful it would be if we could all go back there together. “But you might not want there to be the three of us,” she said a little wistfully. “Of course I should love it,” I assured her. “And so would Roland. As a matter of fact, while we were in Italy, we were constantly talking of you and Roland was always saying, ‘Wouldn’t Phillida have liked this?’ “

“Sometimes I worry about it. I wonder whether I ought to get away... get a place of my own. It seems unfair to you two... always to have me tagging along with you.”

“Will you please put such nonsense out of your head?”

“Oh, Lucie, I’m so glad Roland married you.”

I asked how Kitty was getting on.

“Oh, quite well. She’s got a skin like a rhinoceros. It’s a good thing. She doesn’t notice the occasional barb sent in her direction.”

“Barb?”

“From the dragon, Mrs. Emery. I don’t think the lady likes Kitty very much ... and it’s not Kitty’s fault. It’s mine really ... for bringing her in like that. But she was a sort of maid to me and it didn’t occur to me that I ought to have consulted the oracle.” I sighed. “Oh, that little upset!”

“Did she speak to you about it?”

“Yes, she did. Very ceremoniously, over a cup of her special Darjeeling which is only brought out for special occasions. Apparently it was an offense against protocol to bring a servant into the house without prior consultation with an Emery.”

“The fault was entirely mine. Should I apologize to Mrs. Emery?”

I hesitated. “It might not come amiss. It might even set the matter right. All Mrs. Emery wants is recognition of her status.”

“I’ll do that and be as tactful and respectful as I can.”

We laughed together.

That night she brought up what she called my nightcap and we sat talking while I drank it. It had become a ritual.

I missed Roland very much during the days which followed. I was looking forward to his return and I thought that, next time he went to London, I would go with him. I could find plenty to do there while he was working. I could go to see Celeste and shop. I would suggest it to him when he returned.

One night it was Kitty who brought my nightcap.

She was a big woman with strong, capable hands, I noticed; she was deferential, speaking only when spoken to, which was a trait in her favor.

I thought I ought to have a little chat with her, however, and as she set the glass down on the table, I said, “Oh, it’s you, Kitty.”

“Yes, ma’am. Miss Fitzgerald said to bring it up.”

“Thank you. Are you settling in all right?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“It must be a little different from London.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

I could see that I was not going to learn very much from her, so I said good night.

I almost forgot to drink the nightcap since Phillida was not there to talk to me while I did so.

I quickly drained the glass and put it on the tray to be collected in the morning.

Roland had been three days in London. He will soon be home, I kept telling myself. I had been out riding, as I so liked to do. Phillida had not come with me on this occasion, and when I returned to the house one of the maids dashed out to tell me that a visitor was waiting for me with Miss Fitzgerald in the drawing room. I went there and, to my surprise, Belinda rose and came toward me.

“Hello, Lucie,” she said. “I’ve come to see you.”

“So I see. How lovely! What a surprise! Are you well?”

“Oh, yes,” she replied, but I knew at once that something was wrong. There was a subdued air about her; and I asked myself, why should she have come, if she did not want something?

“Miss Fitzgerald told me how wonderfully you are settling in here and what a marvelous honeymoon you had.”

“I’ve also been telling her that she should have brought her husband,” said Phillida.

“Yes,” I said. “Why didn’t you?”

“Oh, he’s got some business to attend to ... on the estate, of course. And I thought I’d snatch a day or so to see how you were getting along.”

“You are going to stay a little while, I hope.”

“If I may... just for a few days.”

“Of course. We’ll be delighted to have you, won’t we, Phillida?”

“But of course. Roland will be disappointed if you don’t stay. He’s not due back until Friday or maybe Saturday. But you will stay as long as that, won’t you?”

“I ... I don’t know. I’ll have to see....”

I guessed she was desperately wanting to be alone with me.

I said, “I think we’ll put you in the Red Room. I’ll go and see Mrs. Emery.”

“I’ll do that,” said Phillida, and hesitated.

“Perhaps I’d better,” I said quickly.

Phillida understood. Although she had spoken to Mrs. Emery about bringing Kitty into the house, Mrs. Emery’s attitude toward her was still somewhat frosty where Phillida was concerned.

“Shall I go and tell her you want to see her?” suggested Phillida.

“Yes, please, do that. And will you tell one of the maids to get the room ready?”

Phillida left us together.

“What’s the matter, Belinda?” I asked.

“Something terrible.”

“Well, you’d better tell me.”

“But Mrs. Emery will be here in a minute.”

“Let’s get your room settled and then we can be alone and talk.”

It was not long before Mrs. Emery appeared.

“Well,” she cried, “if it’s not Miss Belinda. I beg your pardon... Lady Denver, I should say.”

“It is,” said Belinda. She went to Mrs. Emery and kissed her.

It was not quite protocol but entirely forgivable, and Mrs. Emery looked pleased.

“Well, it’s nice to see you, Miss Be-your ladyship.”

“Miss Belinda to you always,” said Belinda. “Belinda, the wicked one.”

“Well, you could be a bit naughty. I’m not denying that. But it’s nice to see you here. Like old times... Miss Lucie and you together.”

“Belinda is going to stay for a few days, Mrs. Emery.”

“Well, that’s nice.”

“Yes, isn’t it? I thought the Red Room.”

“I’ll make sure it’s all put to rights. Well, I must say, it’s a pleasure.” When she went out, Belinda looked at me and I thought she was going to burst into tears.

“Do tell me, Belinda.”

“I can’t here... someone might come in.”

“They’ll soon have your room ready. You know where it is. It’s close to ours.”

“The Bridal Suite?”

“Call it that if you like.”

“It’s the best bedroom in the house, with that balcony looking down on the garden.”

“You don’t forget the old house then, Belinda?”

“How could I ever? I wish they’d hurry up with that room.”

“Mrs. Emery will tell us when it is ready. Would you like a drink... some refreshment?”

“I couldn’t eat a thing.”

“Is Bobby all right?”

“Yes, and it’s true, he is rather busy on that old estate. There are always people coming and he rides round and attends to everything. He’s very keen on the estate. It’s been in the family for generations and all that... a solemn duty to carry on....”

“And what about you, Belinda? Aren’t you happy?”

“I was.”

“You mean you’re not now?”

“I tell you, I can’t talk to you here.”

“It’s all right, isn’t it ... with you and Bobby?”

She nodded. “It’s just that I’m afraid ... I want to keep it right, I do really.”

“Well, why shouldn’t you?”

“I keep telling you, I can’t talk now.”

It seemed a long time before Mrs. Emery came in.

She said, “The Red Room has been prepared now, Miss Belinda, your ladyship. I think you’ll be very comfortable up there.”

“Oh, thank you, Mrs. Emery,” said Belinda.

“I must say, you’re looking beautiful, Miss Belinda. Married life suits you. Miss Lucie, too. I was saying to Mr. Emery how nice it is to see Miss Lucie a married woman... and now there’s you, Miss Belinda.”

“We do you credit then, Mrs. Emery,” said Belinda.

Mrs. Emery laughed and shook her head. “You were always a caution, Miss Belinda.

We never knew what you’d be up to next.”

“No,” I said. “That’s true. Well, let’s get you to the Red Room. Is Belinda’s case up there?”

“Yes, it is,” replied Mrs. Emery.

“Well, I’ll take her up now.”

“She wouldn’t like something ... a cup of tea or coffee, or a glass of wine?”

“No, thank you,” said Belinda.

“Come along then.”

We went up the stairs. Belinda knew the way, of course. “How familiar it all is!” she said. “How it takes me back. No matter how long I was away, I’d find my way about this house blindfold.”

We were in the Red Room. She shut the door and sat on the bed. I took the chair opposite.

“Now,” I said. “I want to hear what it’s all about.”

“I’m in terrible trouble, Lucie. I don’t know what I’m going to do. This can be the end of everything.”

“Then tell me, for Heaven’s sake.”

“I don’t know where to begin. It was in Australia. I told you about Henry Farrell, didn’t I? Oh, you’ve forgotten. He was the one who took over the mine.”

“I remember. Well, what about this Henry Farrell?”

“He was very much in love with me and, for a time ... I thought I was with him. I was only sixteen. He was a good deal older ... in his mid-twenties. He persuaded me.”

“To what? Don’t be bashful, Belinda. That’s not like you.”

“I hate to say it, Lucie. It’s awful. We ... we were married.”

“Married!”

She nodded wretchedly. “In Melbourne. Secretly.”

“And he’s still alive ... so how... ?”

She nodded again wretchedly.

“Then,” I added, “if you are married to him, you can’t be married to Bobby.”

“That’s what I’m telling you. What am I going to do”

I stared at her in blank dismay. Then I said, “Does Bobby know?”

“Of course not.”

“Then you’ll have to tell him.”

“Henry wants me to go back with him.”

“Back with him? Is he here?”

She nodded once more. “What am I going to do, Lucie? I had to get away. I had to come and tell you about it. I want you to help me.”

“Help you? How can I? What can I do about it?”

“I don’t know. I thought... together ... we might think of something.”

“Oh, Belinda, how could you have done this? Didn’t you think of Henry Farrell when you went through this form of marriage with Bobby?”

“He was so far away... and it was long ago. I thought no one need ever know about it. And I’ll tell you something else, Lucie, I’m going to have a baby. Bobby is so thrilled. So what now?”

“I ... I didn’t imagine anything like this. How could you have got yourself into such a mess?”

“I feel as if I’m going mad.”

“You’ll have to tell Bobby right away.”

“I just couldn’t do that. It would break his heart. He’s so pleased about everything.

I just could not tell him, Lucie.”

“Have you seen this Henry Farrell recently?”

“Yes. He’s in London. I saw him today. Then I came straight down here.”

“I thought he was still in Australia.”

“He was. It was all that stuff in the papers when I was married. One of the newspapers turned up over there, and it would be the one with that in it. He said he didn’t believe it at first. Then he had someone make inquiries and found out it was true. He found Celeste’s address and wrote to me, saying he was coming over. Celeste sent the letter on to me. I told Bobby I wanted to shop for the baby. I knew Bobby couldn’t leave the estate at this time, so I came to London. And I met Henry Farrell in London. He said I was his wife anyway and he wanted me to go back to Australia with him. I had to get rid of him, Lucie. I told him I’d think about it. I won’t go back, though. I’m married to Bobby now.”

“But you’re not, Belinda. You’ve just committed bigamy and that’s against the law.”

“I won’t go back. I’m Bobby’s wife.”

“Look, Belinda, it’s no use hiding from the truth. What you’ve just told me is that you have married this man in Australia long before you even met Bobby. Therefore Bobby is not your husband. That’s the plain truth. If we are going to find some solution we won’t do it by shutting out the facts and pretending they do not exist. Tell me exactly what happened.”

“I wanted to get away after Tom died. It wasn’t bad when the mine was doing well, and we had trips to Melbourne. I liked it then. We’d stay there for a week or so sometimes when Tom was doing business, and we’d meet people and it was fun. But then the mine started to fail... and Tom got ill and there we were, stuck in that awful little mining town. There was nothing to do ... and then Henry got friendly and at the time it seemed quite exciting. I was only sixteen and Henry said we could get married quietly and we did. I never told my mother. Her idea was for me to come to England and make a great marriage. I had been brought up as a Lansdon and she wanted me to have the sort of life I would have had if I had really been Benedict Lansdon’s daughter as everyone thought I was in the beginning. So I didn’t tell her. I didn’t want to upset her... because she was ill. It was so dreary ... I had to do something and it seemed exciting at the time.”

“I can see exactly how it happened,” I said, “but the point is, what are we going to do about it?”

She looked at me helplessly.

“I think you ought to tell Bobby,” I said.

“I just couldn’t.”

“It concerns him.”

“I know. But I couldn’t tell him. He’s such a darling. He’s so happy... and what about the baby?”

“Oh, Belinda,” I said. “What a mess!”

“I thought you might have some suggestion.”

“Why me?”

“Well, you’re calm and reasonable and all that. You would never have got yourself into a mess like this. I thought you might see a way out.”

“There are only two ways out, as far as I can see.”

“What? What?”

“You go back to Australia with Henry Farrell as his wife, because he is after all your husband ...”

“That’s right out of the question. What’s the other?”

“You explain everything to Bobby. Get the marriage with Henry Farrell dissolved and remarry Bobby.”

She breathed a deep sigh.

“That’s it,” she said. “That’s what we have to do. We must do that.”

“You’ve forgotten, of course, that you would have to get Henry Farrel’s agreement.” Her face darkened. “He ... he won’t let me go. He said he won’t. He said he loves me. He wants me back.”

“But he did let you go. He was ready to part with you before.”

“I know. We quarreled terribly, you see. I soon realized what a mistake I’d made.”

“And you let him know it!”

“He used to get really angry. Sometimes I thought he’d kill me. I got really frightened. And it was all so secret because I didn’t want my mother to know. We never set up house together. It wasn’t really like a true marriage.”

“Oh, Belinda, how could you be so feckless?”

“Because I’m a fool. You know how I always took some action before I’d thought very much about it.”

“Well, what am I going to do?”

“Do you really love Bobby?”

“More every day. I like being with him, and he thinks I’m wonderful.”

“And it is rather nice being Lady Denver?”

“Well, yes, it is,” she said defiantly.

“Better than being Mrs. Farrell, which I suppose you really are?”

“It’s not only that. If you saw Henry Farrell you would know why I want to be with Bobby.”

“Didn’t you realize... oh, but it’s no use going over all that. The point is, what are you going to do? And how do you think I can help?”

“Henry is in London. If someone could talk to him ...”

“You, for instance?” I suggested.

She shook her head. “No. When I’m there he’s just mad. I think he hates me at the same time as he loves me. He knows what I’m like. He wouldn’t trust me ... and in a way I think he hates himself for wanting me. You’ve always been so calm and logical. You wouldn’t understand that....”

“Oh, but I do. I know how exasperating you can be and yet I quite like you myself. You’ve done some dreadful things in your life, Belinda. Think of Pedrek and Rebecca... and yet they forgive you. I don’t know why. But yes, I think I do understand how Henry Farrell feels.”

She came to me and hugged me in her impulsive way.

“You will help me, won’t you, Lucie? You can ... I think.”

“How?”

“He might listen to you.”

“Why? Why should he? He doesn’t know me. We’ve never met.”

“He knows of you. I used to talk about you. He said, ‘Your Lucie sounds a very nice person. From your description I think I’d like her.’ “

“I’m surprised that your description of me engendered such respect.”

“Stop talking like a governess. This is too serious for that. I thought if you could see him and talk calmly to him... explain to him that I will never go back to him... that I’m happy with Bobby now. I’ve found just what I want. If he’d only go back to Australia and forget about me ...”

“You’d still be married to him.”

“No one need ever know.”

“What of the child? It would be illegitimate.”

“I said, nobody need know.”

“It would be better to get it settled clearly and cleanly. Suppose Henry Farrell agreed to go away and withdrew his claim to you, you’d have this hanging over you for the rest of your life. You would never know when it might be discovered. And you have the child to think of.”

“What else can I do?”

“Well, you could confess to Bobby what you have done. I think you owe that to him.

He is good and kind and he loves you dearly. He isn’t going to let you go.”

She nodded slowly. “Yes,” she said, “and then?”

“You might persuade Henry Farrell to agree to this annulment. It could be arranged discreetly perhaps. Then you and Bobby could be married quietly. And you’d go on from there.”

She clasped her hands and looked at me with admiration. “That’s it, Lucie. You’ve got it.” Her eyes were shining and it amazed me how quickly she could change.

“You’ll have to get Henry Farrell’s agreement,” I went on. “That might not be easy.

You’ve always thought everyone ought to do what you want.”

“He could be persuaded, I’m sure.”

It was typical of Belinda. I wanted to tell her that others had their lives to lead and they were just as important to them as hers was to her. She seemed to think that, now we had found a possible solution, all we had to do was manipulate the actors in the drama, as a playwright might-writing their lines for them so that they could meekly act out the play according to direction.

She was excited now. She sparkled. Her beautiful face was alight with purpose. I found myself smiling with her. I could understand her power to attract. She could be irresistible.

“I know what we have to do now,” she said.

I looked at her questioningly, and she went on, “You will go and see Henry Farrell.

You will tell him exactly what he must do.”

“Belinda! He isn’t going to listen to me.”

“You can tell him how happy I am ... that I am going to have Bobby’s baby... how necessary it is for him to agree to a divorce... quietly ... so that I can marry Bobby... because there is to be a child... and children must always be considered.”

“I think you should see him and explain all this.”

She shook her head dolefully. “He wouldn’t listen to me, Lucie. He gets mad with rage at me. Lucie, please, do this for me. Please go to see him. Explain in your lovely calm way... make him see it. You can. You explain so well... and you’re so logical. You would make him see reason, I’m sure.”

“It sounds ridiculous to me. I don’t know the man.”

“You know what I’ve told you.” She pleaded, “Will you do it ... for me, Lucie? Please... please ... so much depends on it.”

“I ... I’d have to think about it.”

A slow smile crossed her face. “All right then... think about it ... but please... oh, please... think quickly.”

She was almost complacent, having a firm belief in her powers to persuade. During the rest of that day I thought about Belinda and her problem. I could picture it all so clearly: the mining town, the dullness of the days, the failing mine, the desire for excitement. And there was Henry Farrell. I imagined him, tall, masterful, and completely fascinated by the wayward Belinda. Then the suggestion of marriage, a secret marriage. She had been only sixteen; but Belinda had matured early. She would have been physically a young woman, though sadly lacking in a woman’s judgement.

I could imagine her dashing into marriage without a thought beyond the excitement of the moment. The passionate Henry Farrell, the meetings which had to be held in secret, would appeal to her sense of adventure; and then the death of Tom Marner, the illness of Leah; the talk then of what Leah wanted for her cherished daughter; the rich life in the wealthy Old Country which she remembered from her childhood; the dinner parties in the London house, the charm of Manor Grange, the grandeur of Cador... and then, the sudden realization of what she had done-in fact, ruined her chances of a cozy life in rich surroundings. She had married a man who had acquired a mine which was no longer prosperous. I could imagine her dismay and her plans to extricate herself from what had become distasteful and an impediment to those plans.

She and her husband had quarreled violently. She might well have provoked those quarrels; they had no doubt declared their regrets and vowed they never wanted to see each other again.

So ... she had come to England and-Belinda-fashion had dismissed the past as though it had never happened. Bobby came along... admiring her and so suitable, with his wealth, adoration and title. So, without a qualm-or perhaps just a few-Belinda saw no reason why she could not write off the disagreeable past and start afresh. It was all typical Belinda.

And here I was, half-promising to help her out of her trouble which she had created by her own actions.

During the day Belinda endeavored to be alone with me and was impatient when others were present.

Phillida whispered to me, “I can see she wants to talk to you. I’ll leave you to yourselves.”

Dinner seemed to go on endlessly and I was glad when it was over. I was deeply disturbed.

I had half-promised to see Henry Farrell and I wondered whether I had been wise. I could not believe that I could bring about the miracle, but Belinda was sure I could.

I was rather relieved when we said good night and I could escape and be alone.

But I had undressed and was about to get into bed when there was a knock on my door.

I thought it was Phillida with her nightcap, but it was not. It was Kitty.

“Oh, thank you, Kitty,” I said. “Put it on the table.”

She did so in silence.

“Good night, Kitty.”

“Good night, ma’am.” The door shut.

I got into bed, still thinking of Belinda. Could I do it? Was it possible that I could persuade the man? I guessed I would have to try. Hadn’t I always allowed Belinda to lead me?

I was very sorry for her ... for Bobby, too. Perhaps more so for him. He was such a nice young man and I should hate to see him hurt. I could picture his joy over the coming child. And, oddly enough, I thought Belinda had a fair chance of happiness with him. He was the sort of man who would be faithful and only see the beautiful, fascinating Belinda. I did wonder, though, what his reaction would be when he knew she had deceived him about her marriage to Henry Farrell. There was a knock on the door. I guessed rightly this time. It was Belinda. “I had to come and talk,” she said, sitting on the bed. “I couldn’t sleep. You will see Henry, won’t you?”

I hesitated.

“Oh yes... please say yes. I’ll be so wretched if you don’t.”

“I really don’t think it would do any good.”

“Yes, it will. Everyone listens to you. You’re clever and you’re nice. Look at your father.”

“What has he got to do with it?”

“Look how he was with you. Wasn’t he glad that you turned out to be his daughter and not me?”

“That’s not the point.”

“It is. It means you’re sensible and reasonable. People listen to you. Oh, I’m so worried. I didn’t sleep at all last night... and I shan’t tonight.”

“Oh yes, you will.”

“If you’ll promise you’ll go and see Henry ...”

“Well ... I will. But ... I don’t think it will do any good.”

“You will do it! Oh, you are an angel. Let’s go up tomorrow. He’s at a little hotel in Bayswater. Oh, thank you, Lucie. I feel so much better already. I have such faith in you.”

“It’s misplaced.”

She shook her head slowly and then suddenly saw the glass by my bed.

“What’s that?” she said.

“It’s Phillida’s nightcap. She makes us take it ... Roland and me. She says it’s good for us. It gives us a good peaceful night’s sleep, she says.”

“Does it?”

“I haven’t noticed. I usually sleep well. Roland and I take it to please her.”

She took the glass and drank the beverage.

“Sorry. I need that peaceful night’s sleep more than you do. It’s rather nice. Now I’ll tell you what we’ll do. We’ll go up tomorrow. We can stay with Celeste. I did last night. She’s always glad to see me. Perhaps you could be with Roland. Tell him that you couldn’t be without him any longer. Then you can go and see Henry and tell him what he has to do.”

“You’re incredible, Belinda. You think you can push us around like pieces on a chess board.”

“I do nothing of the sort. But I think that if sometimes you try to make things go the way you want to, you can. And why shouldn’t you? I’ve got to make this right, Lucie ... for Bobby and the child.”

“And for Belinda herself,” I murmured.

She kissed me.

“I love you, Lucie. I can’t tell you how happy you’ve made me. I know you’ll talk to him in just the right way. You’ll make him see what has to be done.”

“Don’t hope for too much.”

“I feel so much better since I’ve talked to you. I feel I can get a good night’s sleep because it’s all going to come right now.”

“I’ll do what I can.”

“Bless you, Lucie. See you in the morning. We’ll have an early start, eh?”

“Yes,” I agreed.

She turned at the door to blow a kiss. “Sleep well,” she said. And she was gone.

What had I promised, I asked myself? What good could I possibly do? Well, it was no use worrying about it. Tomorrow or the next day I would see Henry Farrell. It would, I supposed, be interesting to meet him and find out what sort of man he was.

Belinda was exhausting and I felt tired.

I blew out the candle and settled down to sleep.

I must have done so almost immediately, but suddenly I was awake. Something was happening. I could hear a strange noise. I opened my eyes and stared about me. There was a strange glow in the room. I must be dreaming. I could see the shapes of the furniture. They looked different in the strange light.

Then suddenly I was aware of the heat. I was wide awake now. I sat up and saw at once that the curtains about my bed were on fire. The acrid smell filled my nostrils. This accounted for the glow in the room. I saw a flame run right to the top of the tester.

I leaped out of bed and looked back. The curtains on one side of the bed were a mass of flames.

I ran out into the corridor, shutting the door after me, and shouted: “Fire!”

What followed was like a nightmare.

Emery was magnificent. He was a quiet man whose sterling qualities came to the fore in a crisis; and it was his presence of mind which saved what was a small incident turning into a major conflagration.

It was fortunate that I had wakened in time before the fire had taken a real hold of the bed.

Emery had been the first to hear my call and was on the spot in a matter of seconds.

He seized rugs and quickly beat out the worst of the flames, and by that time Mrs. Emery with Phillida and most of the servants had arrived. Mr. Emery took charge of the situation and soon we were all bringing water to the smoldering bed; and within half an hour of the discovery of the fire it was out. Mr. Emery was the hero of the occasion. Phillida kept telling him how wonderfully he had done and at the same time embracing me fervently. “Thank God,” she kept muttering to herself. “Thank God.”

It was about one thirty when Mrs. Emery took charge.

“Now, Miss Lucie, you can’t go back there tonight.” She was ordering two of the servants to make my old room ready.

She said, “As for the rest of you, it’s time you were in bed. There’s nothing more to be done till morning. We could have had a bad fire but for Mr. Emery, and we should all be thankful to him that we are alive and kicking.”

Mr. Emery said, “It was nothing much. I’m only thankful Miss Lucie woke up when she did... before it got under way.”

“It was a blessing,” said Mrs. Emery. She looked at me. “I think a little something would be good for Mr. Emery,” she went on. “And you, Miss Fitzgerald and Miss Lucie, could do with a pick-me-up too.”

“Come to the library,” I said. “And we’ll have some brandy.”

We sat there together, the Emerys, Phillida and I.

“I can’t stop asking myself how it could have happened,” said Phillida. “What do you think it could have been, Lucie?”

“I’ve no idea.”

“Emery’s theory was that it had been the candle. It had been hot and could have tumbled over and set the velvet smoldering.”

“But I had been asleep,” I said. “It was some little while after I had blown it out.”

“It could have toppled at that time when you doused it. Sometimes things smolder for quite a while before bursting into flames.”

“Well, anyway,” I said. “It happened and we have to thank you, Mr. Emery, for getting it under control before much damage was done.”

“The curtains are ruined,” said Phillida, somewhat ruefully. “And imagine what the bed will be like after all that water!” She laughed a little hysterically. “What does that matter as long as you are safe? I keep thinking what might have happened. How could I have told Roland!”

“Oh, Phillida!” I cried. “It didn’t happen. It was just ... an accident. Thank goodness it was nothing more.” A sudden thought struck me. “I haven’t seen Belinda....”

Phillida cried out: “Oh... yes. I’d forgotten she was here. All this happening ...”

“Surely she couldn’t have slept all through this?” I said. “I’m going to see if she’s all right.”

I ran out of the room, Phillida close behind me ... up the stairs, past the ruined bedroom to that of Belinda.

I opened the door, calling softly, “Belinda.”

There was no answer.

Belinda was lying on her back, fast asleep. There was a faint smile about her lips, as though her dreams were pleasant.

Phillida was beside me. I glanced at her and put my finger to my lips. We tiptoed out.

“She must have slept through it all,” said Phillida.

“It seems incredible.”

The Emerys were just behind us.

“Is she all right?” asked Mrs. Emery.

“She’s fast asleep. Let’s go back to the library and finish our drink.”

“She must be a deep sleeper,” said Mrs. Emery. “Some are.”

“I think she was rather exhausted,” I said. “She mentioned having had a bad night previously.”

“If I’d known, I would have given her one of my nightcaps,” said Phillida. “Obviously she didn’t need it,” I said. “Although, I remember now... she drank the one Kitty brought up for me. Perhaps that is why she slept through it all and I didn’t.”

Phillida laughed. “Thank God,” she murmured. Then, “It’s not meant to send you off like that. It’s just to bring about a peaceful natural sleep.”

“She’s a heavy sleeper, that’s what,” said Mrs. Emery. “Some people are like that.”

I yawned and said, “I do think we ought to try and get some sleep now.”

“Your room will be ready,” said Mrs. Emery.

“Thank you, Mrs. Emery. Then I think I’ll go up.”

So there I was, in my old room. I could not help going to the window and looking out at the oak tree and the haunted seat.

It had been a wild night and, as I expected, I slept little.

1

Belinda and I did not leave next morning. After what had happened it was not possible. The household was obsessed by the topic of the fire. Everyone had to inspect the damage. Phillida was really upset. She kept looking at me with a mingling of horror and affection.

“Oh, Phillida,” I said, “it didn’t happen.”

“No... but it might have. If you hadn’t wakened... I keep thinking of it. I just could not have borne it, Lucie. I keep thinking of Roland. What could I have said to him?”

“But it did not happen.”

“Thank God.”

Belinda expressed amazement when she heard what had happened.

“A fire! In your room! Good Heavens! And there was I, fast asleep.”

She inspected the damage.

“Those curtains! And you lying there! You might have been burned to death ... or badly scarred. Oh, Lucie, and there was I, fast asleep all through it!” I wondered whether she was thinking, as I was, of that occasion when she had taken a candle from the Christmas tree and touched my dress ... a dress which Rebecca had given to the poor little cottage child so that she might come to the party.

Did Belinda remember? She must, for her actions had cost Jenny Stubbs her life and was the reason why I had been taken into Cador to be brought up with her. But now I was sure that what was uppermost in her mind was the fact that our journey to London had been delayed.

Phillida said, “How strange that you did not hear the commotion.”

“I was so tired,” replied Belinda. “I was asleep almost as soon as I got into bed.” Phillida looked at her intently. I had a notion that Phillida did not greatly care for Belinda.

Phillida then said that, if I would give her permission, she would have the bed taken away and a new one supplied.

“It just upsets me to look at it,” she said. “I can’t stop thinking of what might have been.”

“You’ve got to stop thinking about that, Phillida.”

“I wish I could. So ... shall I get it taken away? Actually, I wouldn’t want Roland to see it in that state. I know how upset he’d be.”

“Then do it, if you can, while I’m in London.”

“Oh, I will, Lucie. Of course, you’ll be going with Belinda.”

“Yes, that’s so.”

“I hope you’ll be all right.”

“All right? Of course. What do you mean?”

“I don’t know... exactly. I’m just fanciful after what happened.”

“Fanciful... about Belinda?”

“Well... there is something about her. She’s a strange person. She’s rather wild.

I have a feeling that one would never really know what she was about.”

“Yes, Belinda is a little... unexpected. But I know her well. We are the best of friends really.”

Phillida nodded but she continued to look a little anxious.