The Captain of All Pleasures

Chapter 29

Though they’d spent three days in Scotland, in bed, neither Derek nor Nicole wanted to leave the shelter of their room and return to reality. Outside, rain spilled down in sheets, but inside they were warm, basking in firelight and a haze of contentment.

“Being a husband,” Derek said as he lazily skimmed the backs of his fingers up her thighs, “is quite easy.”

“You think so?” she sighed. She was languid, relaxed as she hadn’t been since her last time in his bed. She’d needed him, needed what only he could give her. She lay on her stomach, propped up on her elbows, eating grapes from his hand.

“With the right wife,” he said with a grin. “I don’t suppose you have any idea what this”—he ran a finger up her cleavage—“or this”—he palmed her uncovered derriere—“is doing to your ancient husband?”

She looked down to see his thick erection tenting the sheet, and her lips curved. She’d take care of that shortly….

During the afternoon, in the time they weren’t making love, they’d enjoyed a delicious lunch of medallions of veal sent up to their room in the quaint inn. Now they sprawled on the bed absently snacking on fruit and, she imagined, reviving for the rest of the night.

“I think we should go to Italy for our honeymoon. Take a couple of months—”

“Months?” She sucked another grape from his fingers. “You know I need to be back to help Father and Maria.”

He frowned. “No, I didn’t know that,” he said, and dropped his hand. “Nicole, your father made his own troubles—he shouldn’t look to you to bail him out.”

“He’s not.” She sat up and pulled a cover over her. “He would never take a dime from me. I want to help.”

“You know that by helping him, you’re hurting me?” he asked her, a peculiar look on his face.

She supposed they were about to have their first married fight. Just days after the ceremony.

“What do you think you can do to help him?” he asked as he set the tray of food on the bed table. “You told me he has Maria involved now.”

“They’ll need someone in England. I can handle the correspondence here—”

“You mean handle the creditors. You are a countess now, and if you think I’ll let my wife wrangle with a pack of those bastards, you are insane. Much less creditors bent on liquidating my main competition.”

“I can’t believe you’d say that.” She shot him a hurt look before she jumped from the bed and slid into a shift.

He leaned forward. She’d forgotten how intimidating he could appear. In a softer, deceptively reasonable tone, he explained, “Nicole, you can’t work with him because very shortly he’ll have nothing to work with.”

She almost blurted out that they’d gotten new, more favorable financing, but she wouldn’t betray her father. She wanted to shock the world, and her disbelieving husband, when Lassiter Shipping came back stronger than ever.

“You are no longer involved with that line,” he said, his jaw tight. “Period. I would have expected a little more bloody loyalty from my wife . Let your father figure his way out of this.”

“Why can’t you compromise? We can find a way around most of the direct competition—”

“Why should I compromise?” he snapped. He leapt up as well and began stabbing his legs into his trousers. “You need to decide where your loyalties lie. Every second you help him is time in which you neglect me.”

“So this is about more than the companies, isn’t it? You want my loyalty and think I can’t give it to you and him both.” The thought that she’d deliberately led Derek to believe her father was without money fluttered in her mind. When he began to say more, she interrupted, “Don’t tell me to choose. You do not want me to do that right now.”

His eyes bored into hers, his face tense.

“Don’t ask me to choose between you, who is being overbearing and unreasonable, and my father and Maria, who were there to pick me up when you abandoned me.” A tear slid down her cheek.

His eyes widened, barely perceptibly, and he reached out to smooth the tear away. “Damn it, Nicole. This got out of hand. I’m…” He exhaled. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I turn into an ass around you. I think it’s because I’m on unsure footing with you.”

“Unsure footing? When have I ever given you anything to doubt?”

“You haven’t. But after what I did to you…I wonder how you could forgive me.”

“So you want me to prove myself, my feelings for you, by choosing you over my family? Isn’t the fact that I married you enough?”

“Only after I dragged you to the altar.”

“If you think you pushed marriage on me, then you don’t know me at all. I made a decision because I think we can have a good life together. But not if you can’t be reasonable and respect my feelings.”

“I’m sorry, love. Let’s forget this.”

“I would like to think you’d help my father if he needed it.”

He shook his head slowly. “I’ll give you anything, but that’s something I’ll never do.”

The finality in his words made her realize she should just accept the hatred between the two. Why fight it? Her father had provoked Derek; she knew that. And Derek obviously wouldn’t be the bigger man and bury the animosity.

Still, thinking of the blows her father had dealt Peregrine made it difficult to blame Derek. But that didn’t make the sadness go away. Even when he stroked her face and her frown eased, she dreaded telling her father about her marriage to his worst enemy, an enemy content to stay that way.

Derek knew they couldn’t continue like this. He’d hurt Nicole. He never wanted to do that again. She was his wife now, a beautiful, courageous woman who could love him. He didn’t want to think he was the only thing standing in the way of her complete happiness.

Even now, as they rode home, he wondered about her. Was she looking out the carriage window, thinking, regretting their marriage? He knew she worried about Lassiter’s company. And he knew having to tell her father about the marriage weighed on her.

After they arrived home in London and he’d introduced her to his staff, he noticed her suppressing a yawn. He flushed; he hadn’t thought how the late nights and the travel might affect her.

He didn’t wait, but scooped her into his arms, carrying her to his room.

“Derek!”

“I’m putting you to bed.”

“It’s the middle of the day. I can’t go to sleep.” When they entered his bedroom, she yawned again. “Well, perhaps…” She looked around the spacious, mahogany-paneled room. “This is your room.”

She wouldn’t want to sleep with him? “Is that bad?”

“No, I like it here. I just don’t know why I’m so tired.”

“Because I’ve made love to you continually for three days,” he said as he set her down and began undoing her buttons. “Even a lusty woman like you has her limits.” He drew the gown over her head and kissed her neck. “Anyone would need some rest after the last few nights.”

She finished undressing down to her shift. “Maybe for a few minutes, but then I have to go to my father. They’ll be back by now.” Her voice was sad, her tone lethargic.

He pulled the counterpane over her as she snuggled down in his bed. He liked seeing her there. Kissing her forehead, he said, “I know. We’ll talk when you wake up.”

After he left her, he settled in his study, looking out the window, lost in thought. Damn it, he didn’t want Nicole to feel like this! Yes, she acted much the same outwardly, but she wasn’t happy. He’d sworn to be a better husband, a sober husband, and he knew she believed in him. But she needed more.

He sank back in his chair.

Even if he wanted to end the war between him and Lassiter, what could he do? Unlike Nicole, Derek didn’t think an apology and a handshake would suffice for the bast—the man. No, some things were better left alone.

In Sydney, Derek had ceased to dismiss it when she told him he was a good man inside, but he hadn’t been giving her much to believe in lately. If he didn’t change, he would lose her. Period. And he couldn’t imagine life without her.