The Crystals of Mida

16 The return—and a bitter truth is learned

Forever had I traveled through the land of mists, and now the journey was over. The mists had cleared with the newest light, and Ranistard lay in the distance before us. Again were my wrists bound behind my back, and for this had Ceralt professed regret, although he refused to release me. My warriors, each and every one bound as well, rode as did I, before a male and within his arms. Well pleased were the males with their actions, pleased, too, with the sight of their city, yet my warriors and I were filled with fury. Never had the Hosta participated in raiding yet now had we, ourselves, been raided of our very freedom. Such a thing should not be, and now that it had been done, it must be avenged.

“We shall be there in a matter of hind,” said Ceralt, self-satisfied. He and Telion rode side by side, and easily might it be seen that Larid felt as I did. Her arms moved against the leather, testing its strength, testing the knots, seeking a means of escape. I, too, had tested the leather; it had proven sufficient to hold me, and I was not pleased.

“Well in time to partake of a decent meal,” said Telion, and he looked down at Larid. “The wenches, too, will do well with such. Though nourishing, the gruel is hardly their usual fare. A pity they could not be made to eat meat as easily as they swallowed the gruel.”

“The drug allowed them little control.” Ceralt shrugged. “That was necessary to keep them docile.” Then he laughed briefly. “Though there were many times Jalav’s control was sufficient.”

“Aye,” laughed Telion in agreement. “I, too; found a sufficiency of control at certain times. Perhaps it would be wise for a man to put by a supply of the drug—for the times he desires only a docile and willing wench. Truly docile and willing was my small flame here—before she awakened.”

The two males chuckled their amusement, for many times upon the journey had Ceralt used me well, and there was much reason to believe that Telion had also indulged himself so with Larid. I remembered much of the times with Ceralt, giving him pleasure at his direction, accepting all that he brought me. Most humiliating was such treatment of a warrior, and not soon would Jalav forget. I had as yet addressed no word to Ceralt, nor had I intentions of doing so till I had once again found my freedom.

Beyond Telion rode Nidisar, and little amusement did the second hunter find in the presence of Fayan. Quietly had he spoken to her when the mists had finally left her, yet did she refuse to acknowledge his existence. She did not ignore him, for that would, in its way, be an acknowledgment, therefore she made it seem that she rode alone, that no other shared the kan beneath her, and the hills about her. Untouchable and unreachable was Fayan, for Nidisar had tried, and the hunter rode in misery which had been well earned. Fayan truly wished to know naught of him, and was bound to keep it so.

The hind passed too quickly, for all too soon we reached the gates of Ranistard. The chill of darkness touched me in memory at sight of it, greater than the chill of the air about me, for well did I recall the presence of the Crystals and their device within the city’s walls. My warriors, too, felt so, and many moved in anguish before the males, making no sound, yet attempting desperate escape. The males held them more closely, speaking soothingly; the males had not felt the agony of the Crystals, the flaming talons of a torture not kind enough to kill, and therefore knew naught of what they asked. To the gates of Ranistard we rode, and most menacingly did they lay open before us.

Within the gates stood many males, and other hastened from nearby ways to join them. They laughed and shouted with delight, the roar of their voices a painful greeting to the males who rode with warriors. These males grinned proudly at their proven success in raiding, each raising an arm to acknowledge the greetings sent them. Cloth of many colors hung from the dwellings within sight of the gates, as though to say that the Hosta were now no better than any other, perhaps in truth, much less, for the other clans of the sisterhood still rode free, while Hosta lay captive to males. Should this be the thought which filled their minds, sorely would they regret it.

The city males lined the ways with their shouts and laughter, some running before our procession, some moving apace of it, some darting in and out of dwellings to call others forth to gape and laugh. Still were there very few slavewomen to be seen, yet these few stood here and there, behind the throngs of males, and smiled quietly, thinking they now had others to join them in their bondage. Little did they know of the Hosta of the Midanna. Through the ways filled with merrymakers we rode, and then to the way which led to the dwelling of Galiose. All about had cloth and silk been hung, and soon it was possible to see that the grass directly in view of the entrance to Galiose’s dwelling had been filled with a straight, unbelievably long line of platforms, one beside the other, no less than thirty or more paces in length. Upon the platforms, which were covered in the blue silk of Galiose, stood pot upon pot of foodstuffs, metal squares of baked grain, tall pots empty, and taller ones which held renth. On fires nearby roasted a full hand of nilnod, tended by female slaves and turned by male slaves, and not far from these fires we drew rein. Ceralt dismounted and lifted me down to stand beside him, the other males doing the same with the warriors they held. The crowds of city males which had accompanied us stood about the outer edges of our set, and then Galiose appeared from his dwelling trailing leather and metal clad males, and strode to where we stood. He halted a short distance before me and looked about with a broad grin upon his face, then he raised his arms.

“The city of Ranistard gives welcome to its newest citizens,” he shouted, and his words were greeted with raucous approval by those males who stood about. “We are greatly pleased to have the Hosta among us once more, and even more greatly pleased that this time they hold no swords to our throats.” Laughter came then, from all in hearing save Hosta themselves, for surely did we wish for swords. “You wenches shall be given the freedom of the city,” said Galiose with a smile, “for all has been prepared against your coming. No weapon shall easily fall to your grasp, and heavily guarded are the gates and walls. You may roam as you please, learning of our city, yet may you not approach nearer to the walls and gates than a distance of two streets. Any wench found nearer shall be subject to immediate arrest and return to him who fetched her to the city, and any wench so returned may confidently look forward to a sound hiding as well. You have been fetched here to serve the needs of men, and here you shall stay. The men of our city shall henceforth see to your protection and requirements, and you need only serve them well.”

A great cheer arose from the throats of the males, and Galiose looked about himself with much satisfaction as my warriors and I were freed of the leather which held our wrists. Neither sword nor dagger had we been left with, and we stood, rubbing feeling to our wrists again, as naught save captives within a hated city of males. Galiose nodded, and his arm swept toward the platforms of provender.

“For the Hosta has the High Seat declared a feast,” said he, “and all men invite them to partake of it. Step forward, wenches, and eat what you will.”

A pleasant murmur of anticipation arose from the males, some beginning to step forward toward the platforms, yet the eyes of the Hosta were upon their war leader, and Jalav merely folded her arms where she stood, therefore did they also remain in their places. Ceralt frowned at my lack of movement, and Galiose again looked about himself, this time with less satisfaction.

“Why do you wenches merely stand there?” demanded Galiose, his eyes moving about among my warriors. “Have you no understanding that you have been invited to table? The food is yours, come now to eat it!” Again there was no response to his words, and the males about us murmured quite differently. Galiose frowned, somewhat in anger, and his eyes came to rest upon me. “Lovely Jalav!” he called, a grin appearing. “Once before did you dine at my table, therefore shall you now show these others that there is naught to fear. Step forward, wench, and be the first to eat.”

“The Hosta do not fear the city males,” I informed him, taking no note of the hand which he held out toward me. “Warriors do not feed at the bidding of males, nor do they accept their captivity. The Hosta shall again ride free, be it this fey or the next, this kalod or the next. Galiose had best look to his safety, for it shall certainly be a sometime thing with the presence of Hosta.”

Galiose placed his fists upon his hips in anger, and Telion came to stand with Ceralt, where the hunter gazed down upon me with angry disapproval. The male warrior shook his head in exasperation, and folded his arms across his chest.

“I now see the reason for the immobility of the others,” said Telion in annoyance. “Should Jalav see fit to rise into the air, the others would attempt to emulate her. They obey her utterly, for she is first among them.”

“I had not recalled that,” muttered Ceralt, as Galiose came to stand before me as well. “I clearly saw, when held captive by them, that nothing was done save with the permission of the war leader. Now the war leader withholds her permission.”

“Would that my warriors were as well disciplined as they,” said Galiose, his dark eyes bright upon me. “I knew her to be high among the others, yet I had not known her to be war leader, and absolute in her power. How do you propose to see to this, hunter? I would not case to have them die slowly of starvation, like so many lellin in captivity.”

“I know not,” said Ceralt, and he rubbed his face with his large, male hand. “I had not expected her to refuse that which was freely given.” He then placed his hands upon my arms and turned me gently to face him. “Jalav, I do not wish to see you suffer,” said he, his voice soft. “The Hosta shall not again ride free, for men have claimed them as mates. You are mine to love and care for, and should you refuse to eat with your own hand and will, I shall feed you your gruel as I did upon the trail. Is this your wish in the matter? That you be fed against your will, with the fare of slaves?”

“Jalav is no slave,” said I, looking away. “She cares naught for what a male attempts. Telion was taken, then allowed to ride free. Ceralt was taken, then allowed to ride free. Hunters were taken, then allowed to ride free. The city of Galiose was taken, and he as well, then all were allowed their freedom. City males come araiding for lifelong captives, for those they wish to make slaves. City males have no concept of honor, and a warrior does well to spit upon them.”

Deep silence from the males greeted my words, and they each looked upon the other with discomfort, for surely they knew I spoke the truth. I attempted to move from Ceralt’s hands, but he tightened his grip and drew me closer.

“Do not feel betrayed!” said he, his light eyes much disturbed beneath dark brows. “It is not as slave that you were brought here! My love for you is great, Jalav, too great to allow us to remain apart! You shall soon come to know the ways of a city, and regard them as your own. Then shall you see that what was done was kindness, not capture. We would teach you that life may be rich and warm, not empty and covered in blood. I now have no doubt that you return my love, therefore shall I keep you by my side. Join me at table, wench of my heart, for I would not see you hunger.”

He attempted to place his arm about me and draw me with him, yet was I not to be moved. “In truth does Jalav hunger,” said I sharply. “Jalav hungers for her freedom, and the sight of the Hosta home tents. She shall feed beyond the walls of this Mida-forsaken sinkhole, else shall she feed not at all!”

Again the males glanced at one another, and Telion sighed quite deeply. “She speaks of herself as Jalav,” said he in weary tones. “Ceralt and I have learned, Galiose, that when Jalav is Jalav, naught may be done with her, and if Jalav does not eat, neither shall the others. So much for the feast and festivities.”

Galiose then looked upon me quite sternly, no whit of approval remaining in his glance. “I do not care for stubborn wenches,” said he, “and this one has too often refused my bidding. Beware the wrath of the High Seat, wench!”

I prepared myself to speak on how little the wrath of the High Seat concerned me, yet Ceralt’s hand quickly clapped itself to my mouth. “She shall soon be taught a proper humility,” said Ceralt holding fast as I struggled to free myself from his grip. “I, myself, care little for the temper of a she-lenga, and shall labor most earnestly to correct the fault.”

“I wish you considerable success,” muttered Galiose as I glared at him above Ceralt’s hand. “Also, the blessing of the Serene Oneness, which I dare say you shall require in great measure. Let us now avail ourselves of the tables. As the young ladies feel no hunger, they may stand as they are and observe our repast.”

The males showed agreement with these words, and all walked from me to the provender, the other males joining them as well. Full pleased was I to be free of Ceralt’s hand, and his presence as well, for I did not care to be treated in such a manner, yet could not prevent it. I shall ever fail to see why males have been given such strength, when warriors, who have a far greater need of it, must do without. Surely, the matter was seen to without Mida’s knowledge, for never would she have allowed that to be.

The males gathered about the platforms, each taking a square of metal upon which to place whatever he wished to feed upon. I looked slowly about myself, confirming the attention of my warriors upon their war leader, then returned my gaze to the males. The moment was nearly at hand, and the Hosta would move as one. I awaited only the first taste of the provender by the males, for one’s body then expects a second taste, and is little prepared for movement other than that. The moment came when the jaws of the greater number of males worked upon what was placed between them, and then did Jalav move swiftly. I threw my left arm up and circled the air once, the Hosta signal to mount and ride, and then jumped to the leather seat of Ceralt’s kan. The kan was in rapid motion even as I held to its mane to lean far forward to grasp the trailing rein, and my warriors were mounted and running behind me. Directly toward the line of onlooking males I rode, shouts and cries filling the air all about me, and wildly did the males attempt to throw themselves from the path of the thundering kand. Some found themselves able to accomplish this, yet many fought, tripped, and fell in my path, fearful fodder to be trampled underfoot. Considering the frailty of the legs of the kan, I thought it unwise to allow them to fall among the struggling mass, therefore I jumped the beast above them, touching not a single one, my warriors taking to the air in a like manner. Onward we rode, the shouts falling away behind us, the ways being hastily cleared before us, for we rode to the gates of the city, the gates of freedom.

Many of my warriors voiced the Hosta battle cry as we rode passing happily both cloth-hung dwellings and staring city folk alike, yet was our happiness not to last long. Although the light of the fey was still strong above us, the gates to the city stood closed and barred, many males in leather and metal afoot before them. Even as we thundered up, reluctantly drawing rein, other males ran to stand beside those who already kept us from freedom, and I noted with sinking heart that none of the males were armed with even so much as a length of wood. How, then, were we to fight our way clear, if the males bore no weapons which we might take as our own?

My warriors milled about in uncertainty; however, we were not this easily defeated. “Hosta warriors!” I shouted, pointing toward the males. “Attack!”

With a howl of freedom frustrated, my warriors dismounted and raced toward the waiting males, following the track of their war leader. The males stood, hands up, grins upon their faces, happily anticipating contact with Hosta, till the contact proved less pleasant than their anticipation. With full weight of our movement did we fall upon them, bringing grunts of pain as our numbers drove them into the heavy wood of the gates. The male before me grasped me to him, attempting to hold my clawing hands and teeth from their targets, only to release me again as another of my warriors threw herself upon him with a will, attempting to take out his eyes. Shouts and cursing sounded all about us, as well as cries of pain and vexation, yet was I able, in a brief moment of peace, to examine the gate. Though the wide bar of metal had been run through its retaining slots, posing no problem of removal, it had also been secured with chain, the heavy links of which held the bar fast in position, the chain itself being clasped to the wood beyond the bar. Futilely did I pull at this chain, furious at its refusal to yield, then was I pulled from the chain in turn, by a male who then stood himself before the chain, determined to defend it. Over and over did my warriors and I attempt to pass the males, desperate to do battle with the gate itself, yet was this not to be. More and more of the males gathered, adding their strength to the battle, and then came the host of warriors and hunters whose mounts we had taken, and great, indeed, was the anger of these males. I knew naught of it till I was taken by the hair and forced from the gate, and then I saw that it was the fist of Ceralt which held me so, fury ablaze in his light eyes. Much did I wish to escape his hold and his fury, but this, too, was not to be. Stumbling and struggling was I taken from the gate, my warriors, by twos and threes, also taken, and not long was it before peace was restored to the area.

Galiose and his males had also ridden up, and he sat upon his large, black kan, surveying the battlefield that was, a grim look upon his visage. Many of the males from before the gates stood limply, their strength having been overtaxed by our assault, and not at all pleased was Galiose by their appearance. His dark eyes looked about at still struggling Hosta, and then finally came to rest upon me.

“The wenches act as one at the bidding of their leader,” said Galiose in a loud voice. “Therefore does the High Seat decree that they be punished as one, their leader foremost in her punishment, and then all are to be kept from the others, till some measure of control has been established upon them. You men are to see to this, and right hastily.”

Those with warriors in hand then made their way to the kand and briefly did I see Telion struggling with a furious Larid, before Ceralt threw me to the leather seat of his kan. I attempted to free myself of his grip, a matter as futile as ever, and then we rode from the gates, my Hosta still captive within them. Surely would I have given my own freedom to assure that of my warriors, yet was my own freedom no longer mine with which to trade. Ceralt guided his kan upon the way, speaking no word, though his arms were hard about me, full evidence of his anger. We rode from my warriors, and that gave me little pleasure.

Fully to the broad way leading to Galiose’s dwelling did we ride, yet were we not to continue the entire distance. A small dwelling stood to the right of the way, and to this dwelling did we go. The city folk we had passed stood with heads shaking with disapproval, yet did this seem most foolish of them. Were Hosta to be taken captive, then submit to their captors as though slavewomen? Never had that been done and never would city males see such an action, yet still did they show disapproval.

The dwelling was not so large as that of Vistren, indeed was it considerably smaller, though it was far larger than the home tents of the Hosta. Still without a word did Ceralt pull me from the kan, and his fist fixed firmly in my hair, was I taken within. Ceralt strode along with wide steps, and some difficulty did I experience in matching his stride. Up the steps to the entrance we went, through the door to the interior, left along the interior area to further steps, and again up these further steps as well. Such rapid climbing was forced upon me by Ceralt that I was barely able to take note of the female who had appeared at our entrance. An older female was she, though still blond of hair, and much surprise did she show as I was quickly taken past her. With the steps ascended, we again moved to the right, and Ceralt thrust me within the doorway to a room, then threw the door to behind me, with the sound of a bar being slid to rest coming last. The room was dark, no windows being in evidence, and I made my way back to the door to assure myself of its refusal to swing. No light came to me within the room, yet was I able to feel the softness of a cloth beneath my feet, smell the lingering odor of strange, sweet scents, and hear the receding footsteps of Ceralt. Much disturbed was I at this further captivity, yet I only seated myself upon the cloth, for nothing else was I able to do. I looked about at the darkness, and recalled the presence of the Crystals within the city, and there was a bit of chill to the darkness.

Not too long was it before footsteps came again, and Ceralt reappeared at the door, the strange female behind him. In one hand Ceralt carried a pot, the other hand being full of a small, slim torch, and the female drew the door closed again behind him, and barred it. By the light of the small torch did Ceralt place the pot upon a narrow platform, and then proceeded to light the candles which hung about the room. Much yellow silk was thereby revealed to me, it being hung upon the walls, and laid upon the large, odd platform which the room contained. Such a platform had been called “bed” by Telion, yet was this platform of a lesser size than the first, and also did it lack the contrivance above the other. To the right of this platform was a small, round one with reflecting surface, and combs and small pots adorned its top. The room, perhaps four paces by four, contained much of what was to be found in that of Galiose’s dwelling, and I cared as little for it as I had cared for the other.

Ceralt finished with the last of the candles, and then he threw the slim torch to the room’s fireplace before turning to regard me. His regard contained little warmth, therefore did I sit the straighter in my place, my head held high as befitted a warrior of the Midanna. A sound of vexation came from him, and he stepped closer to stand above me.

“I wager you await the punishment Galiose spoke of,” said he, his head bent forward so that he might regard me. “I believe I recognize the fixity of purpose in your eyes, the determination to allow none of the punishment to reach you.”

“A warrior of the Hosta of the Midanna cares nothing for the doings of city males,” I informed him coldly. “Your beatings shall be looked upon as those of Bariose were, and accepted with a similar silence.”

“That remains to be seen,” murmured Ceralt, and then he turned to the pot which he had fetched. He brought it to me with a determined look about him, and easily did the odor of it inform me of its contents. A broth of nilno it contained, and though I wished none of it, nearly all was spilled down my throat by Ceralt. I fought and struggled till the last of it was within me, then did I feel the onset of a great weariness. Ceralt had released me and moved from where he had perched to pour the broth within me, and I attempted to raise myself from the cloth, yet found such simple action difficult. Dizzily did the mists swirl about me, to a lesser extent than upon the trail, though with enough of a strength to drain me of purpose and will. I shook my head in an attempt to rid myself of the mists, yet they clung firmly about me, and Ceralt chuckled.

“The drug is an excellent one,” said he, “much superior to that which you wenches are fond of. It allows for a greater range of activity, which you are now to learn of.”

He stood again before me, and his words came clearly through the mists. I lifted my hand, as though to hold him away, but he bent and took me by the arms, and lifted me easily to my feet.

“The first matter to be attended to is your feeding,” said he, his arms holding me to him, my head upon his chest. With the coming of the mists, my reluctance to be touched by him had departed, and much pleasure was there in being held so. Deep within, I felt it as humiliation, yet was I unable to deny the pleasure. “Lodda shall shortly bring your gruel,” said Ceralt, “and when it arrives, you shall partake of it as a good wench should. Nod your head to show that you shall obey me.”

Sooner would I have professed myself slave, yet, to my horror, my head nodded as though moved by the word of Ceralt! I knew not what was about, for my head had nodded against my will, and a shadow of disturbance crossed my mind.

“My good, obedient Jalav,” Ceralt murmured in approval, his hand stroking my back. “You shall eat your gruel, and then shall you be punished. You have earned a good hiding, have you not? Nod your head to show that you wish to be punished.”

Again my head moved of its own accord, up and down, firmly agreeing to Ceralt’s words. A small moan escaped me then, for deep within the mists, I knew I did not wish Ceralt’s punishment, and again Ceralt chuckled.

“The drug does not allow you your own will, Jalav,” said he quite softly. “In all things you shall obey me, as though you were slave in truth. I have lessened the amount so that you may be well aware of all happenings, for this is to be part of your punishment. Study the happenings well, so that the memory of them may long remain with you. Ah! Lodda comes.”

I was then aware of a sound at the door, and Ceralt turned a bit so that I might see the entrance of the unknown female. She carried a pot of the awful mixture I had been fed so often, and her face wore a smile of contentment. Briskly, she approached us where we stood, and her head nodded.

“Quite nutritious,” said she, raising the pot toward us. “I had not thought it so, yet I now approve. Are you to feed her, or shall I?”

“I shall feed her,” said Ceralt, moving to a yellow-silk covered seat, and placing me therein. “I shall not require your aid till the new light, therefore you may retire to your own quarters.”

“As you wish,” nodded the female, and then handed the pot to him. “Come the new light, she and I shall become, acquainted. Though she appears rather larger than I had imagined, I anticipate little difficulty.”

“I anticipate much difficulty;” said Ceralt, his eyes again upon me, “though perhaps certain of it may be avoided. We shall see.”

The female seemed puzzled by his words, but she shrugged them off and again departed the room. Ceralt took no note of her going, for he had pulled another seat before mine, and had seated himself, the pot held easily in his hands. The mists clouded my thinking, yet clearly did I see and feel, more clearly, perhaps, than usual. Ceralt sat upon the yellow-silk seat, his dark green covering sharp against it, his light eyes filled with an expression I could not read, his broad, dark face softened beneath his wild thatch of hair. Again did I feel for him more than desire, a feeling which filled me with fear as well. To no male might a Hosta belong, yet did I joy in the presence of Ceralt, rage though I did, deep within. Ceralt took a long, flat bit of wood from the pot, and stirred the contents a bit before raising it toward me.

“Open your mouth, Jalav,” said he, “for your gruel is now before you. My good, obedient Jalav shall eat her gruel properly, for she does not wish to disobey Ceralt.”

To my fury, my mouth opened, and Ceralt placed the bit of wood therein, from which I took the gruel as bidden. Though with all of my strength did I attempt to refuse it, little by little was it fed me, Jalav doing naught save swallowing to the urging of Ceralt. Humiliating was his treatment of a Hosta war leader, and degrading through purpose, for continuously did he speak to me as though to a child or slave, and was I able to do nothing save obey. The gruel was given to the very last of it, and then did Ceralt put the pot aside with a smile.

“Such a lovely, obedient wench is Jalav,” said Ceralt, as I frothed within, nearly with madness. “Yet Jalav is not always as obedient, therefore must she now be punished.” His eyes came to me again, and had a stern look. “Jalav shall feel each stroke of her punishment,” said Ceralt quite clearly, “and she shall cry out with the pain of it as would any other wench who is so punished. Nod your head to show that you shall obey me.”

For a third time my head nodded of itself, and a greater horror possessed me. Could it be that by so offhand a manner, I would be made to cry out as any city slavewoman? I could not countenance the thought, yet was the reality an even greater horror. Ceralt fetched a length of leather, the like of which he had used upon me a number of times before, yet never before had the pain been so great. The strokes forced cries of anguish from my lips, and at Ceralt’s command, tears flowed from my eyes as well. More than soundly was I beaten with the leather, cries and tears a constant accompaniment, till Ceralt finally released me, then held me to him for a moment. The beating had been a terrible thing, and my legs refused to carry my weight, therefore did Ceralt raise me in his arms. I wished to beat at him, push from his touch, run from the very sight of him, but the mists closed more tightly about me, holding me still, and thence to the darkness.

Quite slowly did I waken and stretch toward the fire which burned in the fireplace. I remembered the happenings of the fey previous, a memory which would stay till Mida called. Never before had I been made to feel such humiliation, and the rage I felt toward Ceralt was a burning thing, a burning which would best be cooled in blood. Perhaps not a pool of his lifeblood, yet a pool which would give him a taste of the pain I had felt, the pain given me at his hand. No male must be allowed to treat a Hosta so, and the light would come that Ceralt heartily regretted his actions. Jalav was no slave, that she might be treated so!

I stretched out flat upon the cloth, feeling the mists completely gone, and then shivered with memory of a previous awakening. Ceralt had felt the need to torture me yet further, for he had placed me upon the odd platform—called bed—where I might awaken with great fear. I had awakened with fear, yet had I been able to move quickly to the cloth before the fire, and had not cried out with the fear. I was pleased with this, pleased that Ceralt had not caused me to voice my fear, and pleased that I had been able to move to the cloth. My sleeping leather was long behind me, but the soft, yellow cloth was an adequate substitute.

I sat up by the fire, and wondered briefly as to the future of the Hosta. That Mida was displeased with her warriors was apparent; still I had no way of knowing whether her displeasure might in some manner be assuaged. Were it possible to do so, the Hosta might once again ride free, for never would the city males hold us against the will of Mida. I thought again upon the Crystals, and felt that perhaps it might in some way be possible to free them of the golden air. In truth, I wished to have nothing further to do with the Crystals, yet was I war leader of the Hosta, and bound to secure the freedom of my warriors, if that was possible. Should the opportunity arise, I would again attempt to free the Crystals, and put all memory of the first attempt from my mind. My hand quivered briefly, a thing which brought anger, and the anger did well to steady my hand. Anger was a more fitting emotion for a warrior, and Jalav was a warrior.

I then rose to my feet and searched for my clan covering; it was nowhere to be seen. It had been gone upon my awakening on the platform, but I had still been too deep within the mists to be concerned. Now I felt annoyance at its disappearance, and my hand raised to my life sign as I looked about the room, then did a sudden terror seize me, for my hand did not come upon my life sign! Quickly I stared down to where it should lie, but only my breasts and futilely grasping hand did I see! My life sign was gone, leather thong and wood alike, and I knew not where it had gone!

Frantically did I tear the room apart, throwing things about in haste and misery. My life sign had never before been far from me, and my soul quivered with a fear which my mind echoed. How was I to find the Realm of Mida, should my soul be bereft of life sign? How was I to face an enemy sword, with my life sign not about my neck? What if I should now be called, and I unprotected by my life sign? A sob of hopelessness escaped from me, for my life sign did not seem within the room, and I knew not where it could be.

Then I recalled the battle at the gates, and thought, perhaps, that the leather might have parted there. The strip, though sound, had not been new, and not beyond thought was it that my life sign lay there. I determined to go immediately, and hurried to the door, fearing that it would be barred, yet did it swing wide at the touch of my hand. With much relief, I departed from the room, and quickly descended the steps. The entrance of the dwelling was before me, yet just as I reached it, the female Lodda was also before me.

“Has dread Sigurr taken your wits, girl?” she demanded, standing herself before the entrance. “You cannot prance about in only a smile of welcome! Return to your room, and I shall fetch clothing for you!”

I then recalled my lack of clan colors, and paused in annoyance. “I shall await my clan covering here,” said I in decision. “Fetch it quickly, for there is something I must do.”

“Fetch it quickly, indeed!” said this. Lodda, her fists upon her hips in annoyance. Although she stood half a head below me, something about her suggested size. In, truth, she was larger than other city females I had seen, and she seemed well aware of it. “You are not to order me about in such a manner, girl,” said she, “for it is I who am here to instruct you! That bit of cloth shall no longer be worn by you, for it is extremely improper to appear so! Return to your room, and I shall bring a proper gown!”

Much angered did the female seem, with little reason for her anger; however, I did not lack reasons for the anger I felt. “The Hosta clan colors may be taken from a warrior’s still body,” said I quite coldly, “and in no other way! I shall see my clan covering returned—and in good order!—else shall I see the manner in which city slavewomen bear their pain! Jalav shall not speak again upon the matter.”

Again her mouth had begun to open in protest, but I wished to hear no further of her prattling. Impatiently, I brushed her from my path and approached the entrance; however I was not to push without. Two arms encircled me from behind—Ceralt’s. A chuckle came from him as I struggled, turning to gasp as my heel struck his ankle.

“None of that, wench!” said he quite sharply, and his arms tightened more closely about me. “Where do you think to go this moment, bare as a babe in the moment of birth?”

“I go where I must!” said I to the male. “Release me immediately!”

“I fear Jalav seeks another hiding,” said he, moving me from the entrance. “You may speak to me of your desperate errand, else you may return to your room for further punishment. Do you wish to speak?”

His arms loosened, and I turned to him to again demand release, yet the words were lost as my mouth gaped, and my eyes widened in disbelief. About his neck, upon its leather, hung my life sign, whole as it had been, and entirely unlost! Great joy filled me then, and relief as well, and I raised my hand to the guardian of my soul, saying, “Mida be praised! I had thought it gone! Give it here, hunter.”

“I think not,” said Ceralt, his hand quickly upon mine, disallowing the touch of my life sign. “It was explained to me, by a fellow not far from your camp, that Midanna may not stray from the presence of their life signs. Should you wish to be close to your life sign, Jalav, you must keep well within sight of me, for with me shall your life sign remain.”

I could only shake my head at such a thought, and stare wide-eyed at Ceralt. Surely the hunter jested, for had it not been he who had returned my life sign to me when I had thought my life forfeit to him? Would he now, in the midst of my enemies, withhold the protection of my soul?

“Surely, you jest,” said I rather shakily, overly aware of his hand upon mine. “The life sign is mine, and I would have it returned.”

“I shall be pleased to do so,” said he, most soberly. “Should I receive in its stead your word that you shall not seek escape, the bit of wood may be returned upon the instant.”

Again I stared for how was I to give my word in such a manner? I was Hosta, and Hosta may not remain captive to males!

“Perhaps you would care to consider the matter,” said Ceralt, an oily smoothness to his tone. “You may join my meal the while, and think about which you would rather do without—your life sign or your word. Come with me.”

He then urged me toward one of several doors in the area, and I, quite woodenly, accompanied him. The female Lodda stood aside indignantly, though I had little care for the city female. My life sign lay about Ceralt’s neck, to be returned to me only should I give my word that I would not seek escape, yet to give such a word was impossible! Oh, Mida! Have you abandoned your warrior entirely? Is her soul to be lost through your anger? Such questions did I address to Mida, yet unanswered were they fated to be.

The room to which Ceralt led me contained nothing but red silks upon the walls, a large, square platform, and two seats before the platform, one at the left side of the square, one at its front. The seats, too, were of red silk, and Ceralt led me to that which stood before the square, himself taking the seat to the left. The platform bore pots and metal squares, each containing something to be eaten, yet had I lost all interest in such things. My life sign lay clear to my eye, yet how was I to reclaim it?

“Lodda is an excellent cook,” remarked Ceralt quite casually, drawing the provender to him. “Should you wish to partake of any of it, you have merely to ask—in a proper manner.”

My eyes raised to him, for his voice had changed, and he nodded with a grin.

“Quite right,” said he, tasting of a meat which looked to be nilno. “You must ask politely to be allowed the food, else shall it be refused you. You must learn the manners of a proper wench, for now you be of the cities.”

Miserably, I turned my eyes from him, reflecting that my sins must indeed be great. Had I erred in believing that Mida had sent me from her Crystals? Had I been bidden instead to free them from the golden air, even though my life be forfeit? Such must indeed be so, for now I was captive to males in an accursed city, bereft of weapons, life sign, clan colors, and soon, perhaps, my dignity as well. Mida’s warrior had failed her, and now had the warrior been cast out of her shield, to die, ignobly, the final death. My soul had been found wanting, and soon it was to be no more.

“Here is her gruel,” said the female Lodda, appearing beside, me quite suddenly. She thrust a pot of the mixture before me, the sharpness of her actions an indication of her continuing anger. “I feel I must protest her undressed state,” said this female to Ceralt, who continued his meal unconcerned. “Her appearance is most improper, and I insist she be properly clothed if I am to instruct her!”

“She shall be clothed when such clothing is requested by her,” said Ceralt calmly, and he took a handful of temeer nuts. “Should she wish to leave the house, or remain when callers arrive, she shall be sure to request the clothing, else she shall be sent to her room. You are to begin with her when her meal is done, therefore I would have you prepare yourself.”

“I am already prepared,” said the female with a sniff, her head high. “She shall learn her lessons, as have others before her, have no fear of that.”

“We shall see,” said Ceralt as he had upon a previous occasion, his jaws busily working the temeer nuts. Long had it been since last I had tasted of temeer nuts, yet memory of their saltiness did not draw me from my misery to a wish for them. I wished only for my life sign and my freedom; neither was to be forthcoming.

The female Lodda departed once more, and Ceralt leaned forward to move the pot of gruel more closely to me. “Eat your gruel, Jalav,” said he, “for there are many things which you must learn this fey.”

“I wish none of it,” said I to him, moving the pot again from me. “I have already learned many things this fey, and as my soul is to be lost, it is best lost without such as that.”

“Your soul has not yet been lost,” grinned Ceralt, his leg upon the arm of his seat. “You may eat the gruel of your own free will, else I shall see the drug within you again, though this time you shall not be controlled by me. Lodda shall see to your feeding and punishment, and sharply shall her leather be applied. She is a teacher of ignorant young ladies, and has little patience for disobedience. Do you wish to be done so, and before others as well? Lodda has told me that for a punishment to be complete and proper, it must be administered before as many onlookers as possible. I believe she had the city’s center in mind....”

Ceralt was much amused, and he laughed softly, and I was without the will even to feel fury. My honor would be taken from me by such an act, and I would be unable to reclaim it even in death. To see my soul lost then would be proper, yet did I know full well that Ceralt would not allow my immediate death. I had sinned greatly, and now Mida had declared my punishment, for I had not freed her Crystals with my life. I took the pot of gruel, and raised it to my lips, for my life and actions no longer had meaning.

“Excellent, Jalav,” said Ceralt in approval, as I returned the emptied pot to the platform. “Go you now to your room, and Lodda shall be with you shortly.”

Silently I rose to my feet, left the room, and ascended the steps with a slow, uncaring tread. For a warrior’s life to no longer have meaning was a cold, empty thing, yet was my punishment well deserved. I had allowed fear to drive me from Mida’s Crystals, fear of a pain the like of which I had never experienced, fear of a darkness the like of which I had never before seen. Fear was not a thing to be felt by a warrior, yet I had felt it, and scurried before it. Deep was my failure to Mida’s will, and full, now, was my understanding of it. I was shamed, and empty, and ever would I remain so.

The room was as I had left it, and wearily did I seat myself before the fire, so that I might contemplate its flickering depths. My knees drawn up before me, I studied the dance of the flickering flames, an orange and blue and yellow salute, its arms reaching upward to Mida with joy. Not again would the arms of Jalav reach so, for Mida wished none of her forevermore. Empty was the life of Jalav, and empty, too, was her heart.

“What has been done here?” demanded the voice of Lodda. “Naught stands straight save the walls!” With angry step did the female enter, and walked directly to me. I kept my eyes with the fancy-free fire, and spoke to her not at all.

“Before all else shall this clutter be straightened!” came the female’s voice from above me. “You do not now dwell in the caves from whence you came! Perhaps there was your slovenliness tolerated, the filth and squalor your manner of living, yet here there are civilized folk, who shall have none of it! Up on your feet, girl, and I shall direct your efforts!”

The fire still drew me with the freedom of its movement, a freedom which was never again to be mine. How I longed for the woods and the Hosta home tents, the Tower of the Keeper, the laughter of the little ones in the care of the Attendants. How round had the eyes of the warriors-to-be grown, when the war leader had ridden into their view! How eager were they to be taught the ways of the Hosta, so that they, too, might one fey be war leader! Now all, all was gone, the Hosta mere captives, their war leader done. Not again could I hold my head with pride, for Mida had withdrawn from me.

“Do you hear me?” demanded the female with vigor. “On your feet this instant, else shall I teach you the meaning of disobedience!” I still had no wish to speak with her, for I knew not what she was about, nor cared, yet did she fail to await an answer. “Very well!” said she quite rapidly. “As it is punishment you wish, it is punishment you shall have!”

Though her footsteps withdrew, what she would fetch made little difference. Ceralt had given me to her so that I might, with his approval, receive pain. Were I to attempt to deny this pain, the drug would be given me again, to make me slave to her. Already was there pain that Ceralt would do so, yet I had not released him from the chains of Vistren. The thought of this was surely with him, though I had somehow not expected—Ah, Mida. Your warrior is indeed a fool.

Briskly did the female return, and pause once more behind me. My hair was thrown to my right shoulder, then stingingly was I struck across the back with some manner of stick. “There!” said the female with a great deal of satisfaction as I straightened slightly at the blow. “Do you now wish to obey, or will you have more?”

The blow, though painful, was hardly unbearable, and as it was the wish of Ceralt that I be beaten, the matter would be seen to sooner or later. Little need was there for the female’s pretense, and no need at all that I join her pretense. I therefore spoke not at all, and the blow was repeated, and repeated again, the pain that Ceralt wished for me coming quite freely. Without a sound did I accept the pain, so that I might be spared the shame of being made slave, and the female grunted with her effort. For many reckid did the blows come, and then was there again surcease.

“You are a stubborn young thing, that I’ll grant,” said the female then, somewhat out of breath. “Yet I have great faith in the power of the rod to drive the stubbornness from you. I shall return in no more than a hin, and should the room not have been seen to, you may expect a further acquaintance with the rod.”

Her steps then took her from me, and I sat as I was without moving, for movement would have increased the pain. I had been well beaten by her, that I’ll grant, and at last I lay my cheek to the cloth and stretched out full before the fire. I had wished to call to Mida when the blows grew heavy, yet had I refrained, for I knew my call would not have been answered. I lay alone before the fire, truly alone, and shivered somewhat despite the warmth.

Twice again did the female Lodda come to me, and twice again was I touched with pain. The second time she fetched with her something large and white, easily marked with charcoal. Meaningless lines did she make with the charcoal, insisting the lines held much meaning, yet was I beyond the ability to heed such nonsense. Silently did I turn my back upon her, and with much fury did she beat me, insisting that I would know the meaning of the meaningless, else would I know only pain. Pain was already well known to me; however it would become even more familiar, said this female, when Ceralt returned to the dwelling. He would frown upon my lack of obedience, and see me beaten further. “He shall use a lash!” said she, striking at me where I lay upon the cloth, my eyes shut against all sight. “Do you wish to feel a lash, girl? Obey me, obey me now!”

“Hold!” came Ceralt’s voice, and the blows ceased to rain upon me. “What do you do here, woman?”

As I writhed upon the cloth, the female said, “I have been able to do nothing with her, Ceralt! Her stubbornness is beyond belief, and a lash will be necessary. Have you one of your own, or shall I have one purchased?”

No answer did Ceralt make, and then his hand was upon my arm. I moved as I had not intended, for his fingers had closed where the stick had touched many times, and quickly his hand withdrew.

“I was led to believe you used only the leather,” said Ceralt, a tightness to his voice. “How many times have you done her so?”

“More times than with any other I was engaged to teach!” replied the female in annoyance. “But once was sufficient with the others, yet I knew full well that the leather would not do with this one! Even the rod has not reached her, therefore must it be the lash!”

“Must it indeed,” said Ceralt quite softly, and then I heard his movement. “Take your things and leave at once,” said he, “else I shall not be responsible for your safety!”

“How dare you address me so!” gasped the female in outrage. “Was I not engaged to teach her the ways of a well-bred woman? To be obedient and docile, to clean, to cook, to read? How else might such a thing be accomplished with an ignorant, filthy savage?”

“Another word,” said Ceralt chokingly, “and I shall happily forget that you be female! This—filthy, ignorant savage—is more precious to me than my life, and surely it was at Sigurr’s bidding that I gave to another to do what I was to have done myself! Now, get out!”

“Gladly,” responded the female icily. “My time may be more profitably spent elsewhere! Allow me to say how well suited you and she appear to be!”

With angry steps the female departed, and once again was Ceralt beside me. “Jalav, forgive me,” said he in a whisper, his hand upon my face. “Had I known she would treat you so—Ah, Sigurr take her, this is not what I wished you to learn! There has already been too much pain in your life, and the fault here is mine alone. Not again shall you be beaten, this I swear!”

I had no wish to open my eyes, for the sight of Ceralt was pain in itself. I lay upon the cloth, speaking no word, wishing with all my being that I might call upon Mida. My soul ached with the need to call, yet Mida wished no more of me. Ceralt sighed and rose to his feet, then he departed the room. I lay without movement till his return, then drank whatever he put to my lips. I did not care what it might be, though it was something I had never before had. Smoothly did it slide within me, and nothing else do I recall.