The Devil on Horseback

I

It was a sequence of unfortunate events which brought me to the Chateau Silvaine. My father was a sea captain who had gone down with his ship when I was five years old and, having lived in moderate comfort all her life, my mother found herself forced to earn a living for herself and her daughter. A penniless woman, said my mother, must either live through her mop or her needle, unless she has some education which can be turned to good purpose. Being a woman in this category, she had two courses open to her; she could teach the young or be a companion to the elderly; she chose the former of these alternatives. She was a woman of strong character, determined to succeed and, with very little means at her disposal, she rented a small lodge on the estate of Sir John Derringham in Sussex and started a school for young ladies.

For a few years, if it did not exactly flourish, it provided us with the necessities of life. I had been a pupil and had received an excellent education under my mother’s tuition-the inference from the beginning being that, in due course, I should join her as a teacher, which for the last three months I had done.

“There should be a good living for you here, Minella,” my mother used to say.

She had named me Wilhelmina after herself. The name suited her, but I never felt it fitted me as neatly. I had become Minella as a baby and the name had stayed with me.

I think my mother’s main pleasure in the school was the fact that it provided for me. The Derringham girls, Sybil and Maria, were pupils and that meant that other families sent their children. It saved having a governess in the house, they used to say. When visitors came to Derringham Manor and their children were with them, they became temporary pupils. My mother taught manners, deportment, dancing and French in addition to the Three Rs, and this was considered very unusual indeed.

Sir John was a generous and kindly man, eager to help a woman whom he admired as he did my mother. He had extensive lands watered by a small but very beautiful river in which trout flourished. Many rich people-some from the! Court-used to come to stay at the Manor for the fishing, pheasant shoots or to ride and hunt. These seasons were? important to us, because the fame of my mother’s school had I spread through Sir John’s circles, and families, who liked to have their children with them, brought them, and as my mother’s school was warmly recommended by Sir John, they were delighted to make use of it. These children who came to us for brief periods were, as my mother used to say in her downright way, the preserve on our bread. We could live on thej long-term pupils, but naturally higher fees were asked for temporary tuition so they were very welcome. I was sure Sir John knew this and it was why he took such pleasure in bringing them to us.

There came a day which was to prove significant in my life. This was when the French family of Fontaine Delibes came to stay at Derringham Manor. The Comte Fontaine Delibes was a man to whom I took an instant dislike. He seemed not only haughty and arrogant, but set himself apart from all other human beings on account of his superiority in every way. The Comtesse was different, but one saw very little of her.

She must have been beautiful in her youth not that she was old at this time, but in my immaturity I thought everyone over thirty old.

Margot at this time was sixteen years old. I was eighteen. I heard later that Margot had been born a year after the marriage of the Comte and Comtesse, when the latter was only seventeen years old herself. In fact, I discovered a good deal about the marriage from Margot who had, of course, been sent to our school through the kindly Sir John.

Margot and I were drawn together from the first. It might have been due to the fact that I had a natural aptitude for language and could chatter away with her in French with greater ease even than my mother (though she was more grammatical) and than Sybil and Maria whose progress in that language, said my mother, resembled that of a tortoise rather than a hare.

From our talks emerged the impression that Margot was not sure whether she loved or hated her father. She confessed Derringham Manor her fear of him. He ruled his household in France and the neighbouring countryside (which he appeared to own) like a feudal lord of the Middle Ages. Everyone appeared to be in considerable awe of him. He could at times be quite merry and generous too; but his persistent characteristic seemed to be his unpredictability. Margot told me that he would order a servant to be whipped one day and give that servant a purse of money the next. Not that the two incidents would have anything to do with each other. He never regretted any cruelty or rarely and his acts of kindness were’ not done out of remorse.

“Only once,” said Margot mysteriously, and when I tried to probe would say no more. She added with some pride that her father was referred to as Le D table (behind his back, of course).

He was very handsome in a dark satanic way. His looks fitted what I had heard of him. I saw him for the first time near the schoolhouse; seated on a black horse he really did look like something out of a legend. The Devil on Horse back, I named him on the spot, and I thought of him by that name for a long time. He was magnificently dressed. The French were, of course, exceptionally elegant, and although Sir John was a man who presented an immaculate appearance to the world, he could not compare with the Devil Count. The Devil’s cravat was a froth of exquisite lace, as were the frills at his wrists. His jacket was of bottle green and his riding hat of the same colour. He wore a wig of smooth white hair and diamonds glittered discreetly in the lace at his neck.

He did not notice me so I was able. to stand and stare.

Of course my mother was never a guest at Derringham Manor. Even the liberal minded Sir John would not dream of inviting a schoolmistress to his house, and although he was always polite and considerate (it being his nature to be so), we were naturally not regarded as equals socially.

In spite of this my friendship with Margot was encouraged because the association was thought to be good for her English, and when her parents returned to France Margot’ stayed behind to perfect her knowledge of our tongue. This delighted my mother who had one of her better-paying pupils for a longer period than usual. Margot’s parents-but mostly her father paid brief visits to the Manor now and then and this was one of those occasions when they were there.

Margot and I were constantly together and one day, as i reward, though not to be considered a precedent, I was invited to the Manor to tea that I might spend an hour or so with our pupils. My mother was pleased. After school was closed on the day before the party she was washing and ironing the only gown which she considered suitable for the occasion - a blue linej edged with rather fine lace which had belonged to my father! mother. She was purring with pride as she ironed, certain that her daughter could take her place among the mighty with th utmost ease. Was she not aware of all that was expected o her? Had she not been brought up to behave with poise amoru the exalted? Was she not more soundly educated for her year than any of them? (True. ) Was she not as handsome and well dressed? (A mother’s fondness, I feared, rather than a fact.

Armed with my mother’s confidence in me and my deter ruination to do her credit, I set out. Walking through the pini woods I could not say that I felt any undue excitement. So often had I been in class with Sybil, Maria and Margot, that should be in company to which I was well accustomed. I would merely be a different venue. But when I emerged from the woods and saw the house standing back from those gracious lawns, I could not help feeling a great pleasure at this prospect of entering it. Grey stone walls. Mullioned windows The original house had been reduced to a shell by Cromwell’! men and more or less rebuilt after the Restoration. A Danie Derringham, who had fought in the King’s cause, had been rewarded with a baronetcy and lands.

There was a stone path crossing the lawns on which grew some very ancient yews which must have survived the Round heads, for they were reputed to be two hundred years old. Ii the centre of one of the lawns was a sun-dial and I could not resist crossing the grass to look at it. There was an inscription on it almost obliterated by time and it was en graved in an elaborate script very difficult to decipher.

“Savour each hour,” I could read, but the rest of the writing was covered by greenish moss. I rubbed it with my finger and looked with dismay at the green stain there. My mo the would be reproachful. How could I arrive at Derringham Manor less than immaculate!

“It’s difficult to read, you find?”

Derringham Manor I turned sharply. Joel Derringham was standing behind me. So absorbed had I been in studying the sun-dial that I had been unaware of his approach on the soft grass.

“There is so much moss covering the words,” I replied.

I had rarely spoken before to Joel Derringham. He was the only son, aged about twenty-one or two. Even now he looked very like Sir John;

he would be exactly like him when he reached his age. He had the same light brown hair and pale blue eyes-the rather aquiline nose and kindly mouth. Considering Sir John and his son, the adjective which springs to mind is ‘pleasant’. They were kind and compassionate without being weak, and, when I come to think of it, that is about the greatest compliment one human being can pay another.

He smiled at me.

“I can tell you what they are:

‘ “Savour each hour Dwell not in the past. Live each day fully. It may be your last.” ‘

“Rather a grim warning,” I said.

“But sound advice.”

“Yes, I suppose so.” It occurred to me that Iought to explain my presence.

“I’m Wilhelmina Maddox,” I went on.

“And I have been invited to tea.”

“I know who you are, of course,” he said.

“Let me take you to my sisters.”

“Thank you.”

“I have seen you near the school,” he added, as we walked across the lawn.

“My father often says what an asset the school is to the neighbourhood.”

“It’s gratifying to be useful while earning a living.”

“Oh I agree. Miss … er … Wilhelmina. If I may say so, it is a little formal to suit you.”

“I am known as Minella.”

“That’s better. Miss Minella. Much better.”

We had come to the house. The heavy door was slightly ajar. He pushed it wide and we went into the hall. Tall windows, flagged floor, wonderfully vaulted roof with hammer beams it enchanted me. In the centre was the great oak refectory table with pewter plates and goblets. Armour hung on the stone walls out of which seats had been cut. The chairs were Carolean and a huge portrait of Charles II dominated! the hall. I paused for a few seconds to study that heavy sensuous face which might have been gross but for the twinkling humour in the eyes and a certain kindliness in the curve of the lips.

“The family’s benefactor,” he said.

“It’s a magnificent portrait.” “Presented by the Merry Monarch himself after he had visited us.” “You must love your house.”

“Well, one does. It has something to do with the family’s having lived here over the years. Even though it was almost;

rebuilt at the Restoration, parts of it go back to the Plantagenet era. “

Envy is not one of my faults but I did feel a twinge of it then. To belong to such a house, such a family, must give one a great sense of pride. It sat lightly on Joel Derringham. I doubted he had given the matter much thought. Always he would have accepted the fact that he had been born into this house and would in due course inherit it.

After all, he was the only son and therefore the undoubted heir.

“I suppose,” I said impulsively, ‘this is what is called being born with a silver spoon in your mouth. “

He looked startled and I realized that I was giving voice to my thoughts in a manner of which I could be sure my mother would not approve.

“All this,” I said, ‘yours . from the day you were born . simply because you were born here. How lucky you were! Suppose you had been born in one of the cottages on the estate! ”

“But I should not be myself with different parents,” he pointed out.

“Suppose two babies had been exchanged and one from the cottages brought up as Joel Derringham and you as the cottage child. Would anyone tell the difference when you grew up? ” ” I am very like my father, I believe. “

“That is because you have been brought up here.”

“I do look like him.”

Yes, you do . ,”

” Environment . birth . what does it have? It is a matter which has confounded the doctors for years. It is not something which can be solved in a few moments. “

“I’m afraid I have been rather impertinent. I was thinking aloud.”

“Certainly you were not. It’s an interesting theory.”

“I was overwhelmed by the house.”

“I’m glad it has that effect on you. You felt its antiquity … the spirits of my dead ancestors.”

“I can only say I’m sorry.”

“I’m not. I liked your frankness. Shall I take you up now? They’ll be waiting for you.”

There was a staircase leading from the hall. We mounted this and came to a gallery hung with portraits. Then we went up a winding stair and were on a landing faced by several doors. Joel opened one of them and I immediately heard Sybil’s voice.

“She’s here. Come along in, Minella. We’re waiting.”

The room was what was known as the solarium because it had been built to catch the sun. At one end was a tapestry on a frame at which I discovered Lady Derringham was working. There was a spinning-wheel at the other end of the room. I wondered if anyone used that now. In the centre was a large table with a piece of needlework on it. I learned later the girls worked at it in this room. There was a harpsichord and a spinet and I could imagine how different the place would look when cleared for dancing, the candles nickering in their sconces and the ladies and gentlemen in their exquisite clothes.

Margot cried in her accented English: “Do not stand there goggle-eyed, Minelle.” (She always adapted our names to her own language. ) “Have you never seen a solar before?”

“I expect,” said Maria, ‘that Minella finds this rather different from the schoolhouse. “

Maria meant to be kind but I often found a sting in her kindness. She was the more snobbish of the Derringham girls.

Joel said: “Well, I’ll leave you girls. Goodbye, Miss Maddox.”

As the door shut on him Maria demanded: “Where did you meet Joel?”

“When I was coming to the house. He brought me in.”

“Joel always feels he has to help everybody,” said Man “He’d carry a basket for a kitchen girl if he thought it was to heavy for her. Mama says it’s demeaning, and so it is. Jo should know better.”

“And look down his aristocratic nose at the schoolmistress I said sharply, ‘for after all, since she is so far beneath hil it is a wonder he notices her at all.” j Margot shrieked with laughter.

“Bravo, Minellel’ she erie ” And if Joel should know better, so should you, Marie. New cross swords . is that right? ” I nodded.

“Never cross swon with Minella because she will always beat you, and if she is th schoolmistress’s daughter and you are the squire’s … never mind. She is the clever one.” :

“Oh Margot,” I cried, ‘you are ridiculous. ” But I knew the tone of my voice thanked her for coming to my aid.

“I shall ring for tea now you are here,” said Sybil, remembering her duties as hostess.

“It will be served in the school room.” ;

As we talked I looked about me, taking in my surroundings and thinking how pleasant my encounter with Joel Derringham had been and how much more likeable he was than his sisters. Tea was served, as Sybil had said, in the schoolroom. Then was thin bread and butter with cherry cake and little roun< buns flavoured with caraway seeds. A servant hovered while Sybil poured the tea. At first we were a little formal but then soon were chattering away as we did at school, for although my role was now that of a teacher, not so long ago I ha been a pupil with them.

Margot surprised me by suggesting a game of hide an” seek, for it was rather childish and she prided herself on ha worldliness. i;

“You are always wanting to play that silly game,” said Sybil ‘and then you disappear and we can never find you. ” ‘s Margot shrugged her shoulders.

“It amuses me,” she said’ The Derringham girls were resigned. I supposed they have been told they must humour their guest.

She pointed to the floor.

“All of them down there will have finished their afternoon naps and be taking tea in the drawing-room. It’s fun.

Though better at night when there is darkness and the ghosts come out,” ” There are no ghosts,” said Maria sharply.

“Oh yes, Maria,” teased Margot.

“There is the one of the housemaid who hanged herself because the pantry man deserted her. Only she does not appear to you. How do you say? She knows her place.”

Maria, flushing, muttered: “Margot talks such nonsense.”

“Do let us play hide and seek,” pleaded Margot.

“It’s hardly fair to Minella,” protested Sybil.

“She doesn’t know the house.”

“Oh, but it’s only up here that we play. It would be frowned on if we went below and ran into guests. I shall go and hide now.”

Margot’s eyes were dancing with anticipation of pleasure, and this astonished me. But the thought of exploring the house even though I was confined to the top floor was so exciting to me that I forgot my surprise in Margot’s unexpected childishness. After all, Margot was always unpredictable and I supposed she was not really so very old.

Maria was grumbling.

“It’s such a silly game. I wonder why she wants to play it. Guessing games would be so much more suitable. I wonder where she goes. We never find her. And she always has to be the one to hide.”

“Perhaps we’ll find her this time, with Minella’s help,” said Sybil.

We left the schoolroom and went on to a landing. Maria opened a door;

Sybil opened another. I went into the one with Sybil. It was furnished as a bedroom and I realized that this was where Maria and Sybil slept.

There were two beds with half canopies in separate corners of the room, as far away from each other as possible.

I stepped back on to the landing. Maria was not there and an irresistible urge to explore by myself came to me. I stepped back into the solarium. It seemed different now that I was there alone. That was how it was with great houses;

they changed when people were there. It was as though there was something living in them.

How I longed to wander about the house, exploring it! How I wanted to know all that was happening in it now and what had happened in the past.

Margot might have understood. The Derringham girls never would. They would have thought it was the schoolmistress’s daughter being overwhelmed by her surroundings.

I was not interested in Margot’s childish games. It was obvious that she was not in the solarium. There was now her that I could see for her to hide.

I heard Maria’s voice on the landing and I stepped briski across the room. I had discovered another door in the solarium and I opened it and went through. A spiral staircase faced me On impulse I descended it. It wound round and round an seemed to go on for a long way before it came to an end. was in another part of the house. Here the corridor was wide There were heavy velvet curtains at the windows. I looked through one of them. I could see the lawn with the sun-dia and I knew that I was in the front of the house.

There were several doors along the corridor. Very cautiously I opened one. The blinds were drawn to shut out the sun an it took a few seconds for my eyes to become accustomed to th dimness. Then I saw the sleeping figure on the chaise-longue. I was the Comtesse, Margot’s mother. I quickly but very quietly shut the door. Suppose she had been awake and seen me! should have been in disgrace. My mother would have been hurt and bewildered and I should never have been invited ti Derringham Manor again. Perhaps I never should in any case as this was the first time I had been asked.

It was the on time most likely. Then I must make the most of it.

My mother often said that when I wanted to do something which was of questionable behaviour, I would make excuse why it was right to do it. What excuse could I make for wandering about the house . prying . for it was nothing more? Joel Derringham had been pleased that I liked the house. I was sure he would not mind. Nor would Sir John And it might be my only chance.

I went along the corridor. Then to my joy I discovered that one door was slightly ajar. I pushed it further and peeped into the room. It was very like that in which the Comtesse lay or her chaise-longue except that there was a four-poster bed ir it hung with rich curtains.

I noticed the beautiful tapestries which adorned the walls.

I could not resist it. I tiptoed in.

Then my heart leaped in terror, for I heard the door shut behind me. I had never felt so frightened in all my life, Someone had shut the door. My position was unbearable embarrassing. In such situations I was quick at finding excuses and could generally rely on being able to extricate myself from awkward places, but in that moment I was really frightened. We had talked of the supernatural and I felt as though I could be in the presence of it.

Then a voice behind me said in accented English: “Good afternoon. It is a pleasure to meet you.”

I turned sharply. The Devil Count was standing against the door, his arms folded; his eyes-very dark, almost black-were boring into me;

his mouth curved in a smile which matched the rest of him and which I could only call diabolical.

I stammered: “I’m sorry. I appear to have intruded.”

You seek someone? ” he asked.

“It is not my wife, I know, for you rejected her after you had looked into her room. Perhaps you search for me?”

I realized then that the two rooms were connected and he had been in that one into which I had peeped on the sleeping Comtesse. He had no doubt hastily come into this room and opened the door to lure me in in order to trap me when I had entered.

“No, no,” I said.

“It is a game. Margot is hiding.”

He nodded.

“Perhaps you should sit down.”

“No, thanks. I should not have come down here. I should have stayed upstairs.”

I walked boldly to the door but he did not move away from it and I stopped short looking at him helplessly and yet fascinated, wondering what he was going to do. What he did do was step forward and take my arm.

“You must not go away so soon,” he said.

“Now that you have visited me, you must stay awhile.”

He was studying me closely and his scrutiny embarrassed me.

“I think I should go,” I said as easily as I could.

“They will be missing me.”

“But it is Margot who is hiding. They will not find her yet. It is a big house for her to hide herself in.”

“Oh, but they will. It is only the top floor …” I stopped foolishly. I had betrayed myself.

He laughed triumphantly.

“Then what are you doing down here.

Mademoiselle? “

“It is my first visit to the house. I lost my way.”

“And you were looking in these rooms to find it?”

I was silent. He drew me to the window and pulled me down beside him.

I was close to him, deeply aware of the linen that smelt faintly of sandalwood and the large signet ring with the crest which he wore on the little finger of his right hand.

“You should tell me your name,” he said.

“I am Minella Maddox.”

“Minella Maddox,” he repeated. I know well. You are the schoolmistress’s daughter. “

“I am. But I hope you will tell no one that I came down here.”

He nodded gravely.

“So you have disobeyed orders …”

“I was lost,” I said firmly.

“I would not like it to be known that I was so foolish.”

“So you are asking a favour of me?”

I merely suggest that you do not mention this trivial matter. ” ” It is not trivial to me. Mademoiselle. “

“I do not understand you. Monsieur Ie Comte.”

“So you know me?”

“Everyone in the neighbourhood knows you.”

“I wonder how much you know of me.”

“Only who you are and that you are Margot’s father and that you come from France to visit Derringham from time to time.”

My daughter has talked of me, has she? “

“Now and then.”

“She has told you of my many … what is the word?”

“Sins, do you mean? If you would prefer to speak in French …”

“I see you have formed an opinion of me. I am a sinner ,i who does not speak your language as well as you speak mine.” He was talking in rapid French, hoping, I knew, that I should not understand, but I had had a good grounding and my fear was deserting me; moreover, although I knew that I was in a difficult situation and he was the sort of man who would not be chivalrous enough to help me out of it, I could not suppress a certain exhilaration. I replied in French that I had thought the word he was searching for was the one I had supplied and if he was thinking of something else would he give it to me in French and I was sure I should understand.

“I see,” he said, still speaking very quickly, ‘that you are a spirited young lady. Now let us understand each other. You seek my daughter Marguerite, whom you call Margot. She is hiding on the upper floor of the house. You know this yet you seek her down here. Ah, Mademoiselle, you did not seek Marguerite but to satisfy your curiosity. Come, admit it. ” He frowned in a manner which was, I was sure, calculated to strike terror in those who observed it.

“I do not like people to tell me untruths.”

“Well,” I said, determined not to be browbeaten, ‘it is my first visit to a house of this type and I do admit to a certain curiosity. “

“Natural, very natural. You have very pretty hair. Mademoiselle. I would say it is the colour of the corn in August. Would you agree?”

“You are pleased to flatter me.”

He put up a hand and caught a strand of my hair which my mother had curled carefully and which was tied back with a blue riband to match my dress.

I felt uneasy, yet the exhilaration persisted. I was forced to move closer to him as he pulled at my hair. I could see his face very clearly, the shadow under the luminous dark eyes, the brows thick, yet finely marked. He was the most striking-looking man I had ever seen.

“And now,” I said, “I should go.”

“You came at your pleasure,” he reminded me, ‘and I think it only courteous that you should leave at mine. “

“As we are concerned with courtesy you will not detain me against my will.”

“But we are discussing the courtesy you owe me. I owe you none, remember. You are the intruder. Oh, Mademoiselle, to peep into my bedchamber! To pry so! Shame on you!”

His eyes were sparkling. I remembered Margot’s talk of his unpredictability. At the moment he was amused, hi a short time he might not be.

I jerked my hair out of his hand and stood up.

“I apologize for my curiosity,” I said.

“It was most ill-mannered of me. You must do what you think fit about the matter. If you wish to tell Sir John …” I thank you for your permission,” he said. He was beside me, and to my horror he put his arms about me and held me against him.

Then his finger was under my chin lifting my face.

“When we transgress,” he went on, ‘we must pay for our sins. This is the payment I ask. ” He took my face in his hands and kissed me on the lips not once but many times.

I was horrified. I had never been kissed in such a way before. I wrenched myself free and ran.

The thought uppermost in my mind was that he had treated me as a serving girl. I was horrified. Moreover, it was my own fault.

I stumbled out of the room. I found the spiral staircase and as I started up it I heard a movement behind me. For a moment I thought it was the Comte in pursuit and I felt numb with terror.

Margot said: “What are you doing down here, Minelle?”

I turned. She was flushed and her eyes were dancing.

“Where have you been?” I demanded.

“Where have you" She put her fingers to her lips.

“Come on. Upstairs.”

We went up the staircase. At the top, she turned to me and laughed. We went into the solarium together.

Maria and Sybil were already there.

“Minelle found me,” said Margot.

“Where?” demanded Sybil.

“Do you think I’m telling?” retorted Margot.

“I might decide to hide there again.”

That was the beginning. He had become aware of me and I was, certainly not going to forget him in a hurry. During the rest of the afternoon I could not get him out of my mind. As we sat in the solarium and played a guessing game I was expecting him all the time to come to denounce me. More likely, I thought, he had told Sir John. I was most uncomfortable thinking of the way he had kissed me. What interpretation had he put on that?

I knew that it was my mother’s constant concern that I should remain virtuous and make a good marriage. She wanted the best possible for me. A doctor would be suitable, she had once said, but the only doctor we knew had remained un married for fifty-five years and was hardly likely to take a wife now; and even if he had decided to and offered to bestow the honour on me, I should have declined.

“We are midway between two worlds,” said my mother, meaning that the villagers were far beneath us and the occupants of the Big House far above us. It was for this reason that she was so eager to leave me a flourishing school. Though I must say the thought of spending the rest of my life teaching the offspring of the nobility who were to visit Derringham Manor in the years to come held no great charm for me.

It was the Comte who had set my thoughts in this direction. I realized angrily that he would not have dared kiss a young lady of good family in this way. But would he? Of course he would. He would do whatever his inclination moved him to. Of course, he might have been very angry. He might have told Sir John that I had come peeping into his bedchamber. Instead of which he had treated me like a . like a what?

How could I know. All I did know was that if my mother was aware of it she would be horrified.

She was eagerly waiting for me when I returned.

“You look flushed,” she scolded tenderly, and a little reproachfully.

She would have preferred me to look cool as though taking tea at Derringham Manor was an everyday occurrence in my life.

“Did you enjoy it? What happened?”

I told her what we had had for tea and what the girls were wearing.

“Sybil presided,” I said, ‘and afterwards we played games. “

“What games?” she wanted to know.

“Oh, just a childish sort of hide and seek and then guessing towns and rivers.”

She nodded. Then she frowned. My dress was decidedly grubby.

“I should like to get you a new dress,” she said.

“Something pretty. Velvet perhaps.”

“But, Mama, when should I wear it?”

“Who knows? You might be asked again.”

I doubt it. Once in a lifetime is enough for such an honour. “

I must have sounded bitter for she looked sad and I was sorry. I went to her and put my arm about her.

“Don’t worry, Mama,” I said.

“We’re happy here, are we not? And the school does very well.” I remembered then what I had forgotten until that moment.

“Oh, Mama, when I was going in I met Joel Derringham.”

Her eyes lit up. She said: “You didn’t tell me.”

“I forgot.”

“Forgot … meeting Joel Derringham! He’ll be Sir Joel on day.

Everything will be his. How did you meet him? “

I told her, repeating word for word.

“He sounds charming, she said.

“He is-and so like Sir John. It’s amusing, really. You could say: That’s Sir John . thirty years ago. “

“He was certainly very pleasant to you.”

“He could not have been more so.”

I could see plans forming in her mind.

It was two days later when Sir John came to the schoolhouse and a Sunday so there was no school that day. My mother and I had just dined and we had sat over the table as we often did on Sundays until nearly three o’clock discussing the next week’s lessons.

Although my mother was normally the most prosaic o women, where her heart was involved she could dream a romantically as any young girl. I knew that she had made u] her mind that I was to have many invitations to the Manor am there I should meet someone perhaps he might not be o too exalted a rank but at least he. would be able to offer mi more than I could reasonably hope for if I spent my days ii a schoolhouse.

Previously she had decided that I must havi the best possible education to provide for my future as i schoolmistress. Now her thoughts had escaped to wild dreams of fantasy, and because she was a woman accustomed to succeed, they knew no bounds.

Through the window of our little dining-room she saw Si:

John tethering his horse to the iron bar which had been put there for that purpose. I felt myself turn cold. It immediately occurred to me that the malicious Count had decided ti complain against me. I had left him abruptly and shown bin quite clearly that I deplored his conduct. This might be hi revenge.

“Why, it’s Sir John,” said my mother.

“I wonder …”

I heard myself say “Perhaps a new pupil…”

He was ushered into our sitting-room and I was relieved to see that he was smiling as benignly as ever.

“Good day to you, Mrs. Maddox … and Minella. Lad:

Derringham has a request to make. We are short of a guest for the soiree and supper which is to take place this evening. The Comtesse Fontaine Delibes is confined to her room and without her we shall be thirteen. There is, as you know, a superstition that thirteen is unlucky and some of our guests might be uneasy. I was wondering if I could persuade you to allow your daughter to join us. “

It was so like one of the dreams my mother had been conjuring up during the last two days that she accepted it calmly as though it were the most natural thing in the world.

“But of course she will join you,” she said.

“But, Mama,” I protested, “I have no suitable dress.”

Sir John laughed.

“That had occurred to Lady Derringham when the matter was suggested. One of the girls can lend you something. That is a simple matter.” He turned to me.

“Come to the Manor this afternoon.

You can then choose the gown and the seamstress can do any necessary alterations. It is good of you, Mrs. Maddox, to lend us your daughter. “

He smiled at me.

“I shall see you later.”

When he had gone my mother seized me in her arms and hugged me.

“I willed it to happen,” she cried.

“Your father always used to say that when I made up my mind I’d get what I wanted because I believed in it so firmly I just created it.”

“I shan’t much care about parading in borrowed plumes.”

“Nonsense. No one will know.”

“Sybil and Maria will and Maria will take the first opportunity to remind me that I am there as a standin.”

“As long as she does not remind anyone else that does not matter.”

“Mama, why are you so excited’ ” It’s what I always hoped for. “

“Did you ill-wish the Comtesse?”

“Perhaps.”

“So that your daughter could go to the ball!”

“It’s not a ball!” she cried, aghast.

“You would have to have a proper ball gown for that.”

“I was speaking metaphorically.”

“How right I was to educate you thoroughly. You will be as musically knowledgeable as any of them there. I think your hair should be piled high on your head. It shows off its colour that way.” I heard a cynical voice murmuring: “Like corn in August.”

“Your hair is your best feature, my dear. We must make the most of it.

I hope the dress will be blue because that brings out the colour of your eyes. That cornflower-blue is rather rare . as deep as yours, I mean. ” ” You are making a princess out of your budding schools mistress.

Mama. ” ” Why shouldn’t a budding schoolmistress be as beautiful and charming as any lady in the land? “

“Certainly she should be if she is your daughter.”

“You must curb your tongue tonight, Minella. You always did say the first thing that came into your head.” ;

“I shall have to be myself and if that does not suit .. They might not ask you again.” j “Why should they ask me again? Are you not attaching too much importance to this? I am asked because they need another guest. It is not the first time someone has been asked to be the fourteenth. If the fourteenth decided to come after all, I should politely be assured that my presence was no longer j necessary.” The fact was that my mind was as busy as my mother’s. Why had this summons (which was how I thought of it) followed so closely on my visit to the Manor? Who had’i prompted it? And was it not something of a coincidence that] it should be the Comte’s wife who was indisposed?

Could it possibly be that he had suggested that I should fill the gap? What an extraordinary idea! Why? Because he wanted to meet me again? He had not reported my ill manners, after all. I remembered what he had said of my hair as he tugged it cares singly and then . those kisses. It was insulting. Was] he saying: “Bring the girl to the Manor.” That was how men such as he was behaved in their own world. There was some thing called the droit de seigneur which meant that when a girl was going to be married, the lord of the manor, if he liked the look of her, took her to his bed for a night-j more than one night if she proved satisfactory and then she was passed on to her bridegroom. If the lord was generous there was a present of some sort. I could well imagine this’ Comte exerting such a right.

What was I thinking? I was no bride and Sir John would never permit such conduct on his estate. I was ashamed of myself for harbouring such thoughts. That interview with the Comte had had a deeper effect on me than I had imagined.

My mother kept talking about Joel Derringham. I had to repeat what he had said to me. She was thinking romantic thoughts again. Oh, it was too foolish. She was telling herself that the indisposition was a myth and that as Joel had wished to make my further acquaintance, he had prevailed on his parents to ask me for the evening. Oh Mama, I thought, dear Mama, foolish only where her daughter was concerned. If she could see me satisfactorily settled she would die happily.

But she did indulge in the most preposterous dreams.

Margot came to the schoolhouse to see me. She was excited.

“What fun!” she cried.

“So you are coming tonight. My dear Minelle, Marie has found a dress for you, but I won’t have it. You are to have one of mine … straight from a couturiere of Paris. Blue for your eyes. Marie’s dress was brown. So ugly. I say: No. No. No. Not for Minelle, for if you are not exactly beautiful-as I am-you have something distinguished. Yes, you have, and I shall insist that you wear my dress.”

“Oh Margot,” I said, you realty do want me to come! “

“But of course. It will be fun. Maman will spend the evening in her room. She was crying this afternoon. It was my father again. Oh, he is wicked, but I suppose she loves him. Women do love him. I wonder why?”

“Your mother is not really ill, is she?”

Margot lifted her shoulders.

“It is the vapours. That is what Le Diable calls it. There might have been a quarrel. Not that she would dare quarrel with him. He does the quarrelling. If she weeps he gets more angry than ever. He hates women who weep.”

“And does she weep often?”

“I don’t know. I expect so. After all, she is married to him.”

“Margot, what a dreadful thing to say of your father!”

“If you don’t want the truth …”

“I do. But I can’t see how you can really know. Does she always shut herself away? Is it the same in your own home?”

“I suppose so.”

“But you must know.”

I don’t see much of her, if that’s what you mean. NouNou guards her and I hear she is not to be disturbed. But why do we talk about the mi I’m so glad you are coming, Minelle. I think you’ll enjoy it. You liked visiting us for tea, didn’t you? “

“Yes, it was fun.”

“What were you doing on the staircase? You had been exploring.

Confess. ” ” What were you doing, Margot? “p>

She narrowed her eyes and laughed at me.

“Come, tell me,” I insisted.

“If I tell you, will you tell me what you were doing? Ah, but that is not fair exchange. You were just looking at the house.”

“Margot, what are you talking about?”

“Never mind.”

I was glad to drop the subject, but I kept wondering about the Comte and Comtesse. She was afraid of him. That I could understand. She shut herself away and took refuge in her illness. I was sure it was to escape from him. It was very mysterious.

Margot took me to her room in the Manor. It was beautifully furnished and reminded me of the Comte’s bedroom. The bed was a four-poster, though slightly less ornate. The curtains were rich blue velvet and one wall was covered in a fine tapestry of the same tone as the curtains which was the predominant colour throughout the room.

The dress I was to wear was laid out on the bed.

“I am a little plumper,” said Margot, ‘which is good because that makes it easy. You are a little taller, but see, there is a deep hem.

I made the seamstress undo that at once. Now you will try it on and she shall come and make the alterations. I will send for her at once.

“Margot,” I said, ‘you are a good friend to me. “

“Ah yes,” she agreed.

“You interest me. Sybil… Marie … Pouff!”

She blew with her lips.

“They are dull. I know what they will say before they say it. You are different. Besides, you are only the schoolmistress’s daughter.”

“What has that to do with it?”

She laughed again and would say no more. I put on the dress. It was certainly becoming. She rang the bell and the seamstress arrived with pins and needles. In less than an hour I had my dress.

Maria and Sybil came to inspect me. Maria sniffed slightly.

“Well?” demanded Margot.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s not really suitable,” commented Maria.

“Why not?” cried Margot.

“The brown would have been better.”

“Better for you? Are you afraid that she will look: more beautiful than you? Ah, that is it.”

“What nonsense!” retorted Maria.

Margot grinned at me. It is so,” she said.

And Maria said no more about the unsuitability of the gown.

Margot insisted on dressing my hair. She chatted as she did so. There, ma cherie. Is that not beautiful? Oh, yes, it is true, you have an air. You should not be condemned to spending your life teaching stupid children. ” She studied my reflection.

“Corn-coloured hair,” she commented.

“Cornflower-blue eyes and lips like the poppy.”

I laughed at her.

“You make me sound like a field of wheat.”

“Teeth even and white,” she went on.

“Nose a little … how do you say it? … aggressive? Lips firm … can smile, can be severe. I know what it is, Minelle my friend, that adds up to attractiveness. It is the contrast. The eyes are soft and yielding. Ah, but wait … look at that nose. Look at that mouth. Oh yes, they say, I am good-looking … I am passionate … but wait a bit. No nonsense, please.”

“Yes, please,” I retorted, ‘no more of this nonsense. And when I want an analysis of my looks and character I’ll ask for it. “

“You never would, because that’s another thing about you, Minelle, you think you know that little bit more than anyone else and can answer all the questions so much more correctly. Oh, I know you used to beat me in class … as you did us all … and that is right and fitting for the daughter of the schoolmistress, and now you teach us and tell us when we are right and wrong. But let me tell you this, my clever Minelle, you have much to learn.”

I looked at her dark laughing face with the fine almost black sparkling eyes, so like her father’s, the heavy brows, the thick dark hair. She was very attractive and there was some thing secretive about her. I thought of her joining me on thel spiral staircase. Where had she been? ? “Something you have already learned?” I asked. “Some of us are born with this kind of knowledge,” she said, I “And you are one of those so endowed?” I I am. ” The music was playing in the gallery where a small orchestra had been installed. Lady Derringham, gracious in pale mauve silk, pressed my ? hand when she saw me and murmured: ” It was good of you to’s help us out, Minella. ” A remark which, although spoken kindly, reminded me immediately of the reason why I was” here.

As soon as the Comte appeared I suspected he was responsible for my being here. He looked about the music room until his eyes alighted on me. He bowed from across the room, and I could see he was taking in every detail of my appearance in a way which I reminded myself was insulting. I returned his gaze haughtily, which seemed to amuse him.

Lady Derringham had arranged that I should sit with her daughters and Margot as though to remind the company that although we were present we had not yet been formally launched into society. We were not quite children and could be allowed to attend the soiree and supper afterwards, but we should be dismissed as soon as that was over.

I found it a tremendously exciting occasion. I loved music, in particular the works of the composer Mozart which figured largely in the concert. As I listened I felt transported and I thought how I should enjoy living graciously as many of my pupils did. It seemed unfair of fate to have set me outside it and yet not far enough away not to be able to glimpse it and realize what I was missing.

During the interval in the concert people moved about the gallery greeting old friends. Joel came over to me.

“I’m glad you came. Miss Maddox,” he said.

“Do you really think it would have been noticed if I had not? Would people really count and imagine doom was overtaking them because of unlucky thirteen?”

“We can’t know as the situation was avoided … most agreeably, if I may say so. I hope it will be the first of many occasions when you will visit us.”

“You can’t expect a fourteenth guest to default at the last minute merely to accommodate me.”

“I think you attach too much importance to this reason.”

I have to because but for it I shouldn’t be here. “

“Let’s forget that and be glad you are. What did you think of the concert?”

“Superb.”

“You are fond of music?”

“Extremely.”

“We often have concerts like this. You must come again.”

“You are very kind.”

This one is for the Comte. He is particularly partial to Mozart. “

“Did I hear my name?” asked the Comte.

He took the chair beside me and I was aware of his studying me intently.

“I was telling Miss Maddox, Comte, that you enjoy Mozart and that the concert was being given in your honour. May I present Miss Maddox.”

The Comte stood up and bowed.

“It is a pleasure to meet you. Mademoiselle. ” He turned to Joel.

“Mademoiselle Maddox and I have met before.”

I felt the blood rushing to my face. He was going to expose me. He was going to tell Joel how I had peeped into his bedchamber when I was supposed to be upstairs and imply how unwise it was to bring people of my station into a higher sphere. What a moment to choose! And typical of him, I was sure.

He was regarding me sardonically, reading my thoughts.

“Is that so?” said Joel, surprised.

“By the schoolhouse,” said the Comte.

“I was passing and I saw Mademoiselle Maddox. I thought: That is the excellent Mademoiselle who has done so much good to my daughter. I am glad to have an opportunity of expressing my gratitude.”

He was smiling at me, noting, of course, my flush and he would know that I was thinking of those kisses and my undignified exit.

“My father is constantly singing the praises of Mrs. Maddox’s school,” said kind Joel.

“It has saved our employing governesses

“Governesses can be tiresome,” said the Comte, sitting down beside me.

“They are not of us and yet they do not belong with ;

the servants. It is irksome to have people floating in limbo. Not for us. For them. They become so conscious of their status. Class is something to be ignored. Do you agree, Joel? Miss Maddox? When our late King Louis XV was reminded by one of his friends, a duke, that his mistress was the daughter of a cook, he replied: “Is that so? I did not notice. The fact is that you are all so far beneath me that I cannot tell the difference between a duke and a cook.” Joel laughed and I could not stop myself retorting: “Is that so with you. Monsieur Ie Comte? Could you not tell the difference between a cook and a duke? “

“I am not so high as the King, Mademoiselle, but I am high nevertheless and I could not tell the difference between the daughters of Sir John and those of the schoolmistress.”

“Then it seems that I am not entirely unacceptable.”

His eyes seemed to burn into mine.

“Mademoiselle, you are very acceptable, I do assure you.” Joel looked uncomfortable. He found this conversation in bad taste, I was sure, but I could see that the Comte, like myself, could not resist the temptation to indulge in it.

“I think,” said Joel, ‘that the interval is almost over and that we should return to our seats. “

The girls were coming back. Margot looked amused; Maria a little sour and Sybil noncommittal.

“You are attracting attention, Minelle,” whispered Margot.

“Two of the most handsome men in attendance at the same time. You are a siren.”

“I did not ask them.”

“Sirens never do. They just send out their subtle fascination.”

During the rest of the concert I thought of the Comte. I attracted him in some way. I knew which way. He liked women, and although I was immature, I was fast becoming one. That his intentions were strictly dishonourable could be nothing but obvious. But what was so horrifying was that instead of being angry I was fascinated.

As we were about to descend into the dining hall where cold supper had been laid out, one of the footmen-splendid in the Derringham livery-came into the dining-room, sought the eye of Sir John and discreetly went to him. I saw him whisper a few words.

Sir John nodded and went to the Comte who, I noticed, not without a little chagrin, was talking animatedly to Lady Eggleston, the flighty young wife of a gouty, more-than middle-aged husband. She was simpering a little and I could imagine the course of their conversation.

Sir John spoke to the Comte and after a while they went out of the room together.

Joel was at my side.

“Come to the buffet,” he said. There you can choose what you would like. After that we’ll find a small table. “

I was grateful to him. There was such kindliness in him. He believed that I, who knew no one here, might need a protector.

There was fish of all description and a variety of cold meats. I took little. I was not in the least hungry.

We found a table somewhat sheltered by plants, and Joel said to me: T dare say you found the Comte a little unusual. “

“Well… he is not English.”

“I thought you seemed a little put out by him.”

“I think he is a man who is accustomed to getting his own way.”

“Undoubtedly. You saw him leave with my father. One of his servants has arrived from France with a message for him. It seems as though it may be important.”

It must be for the servant to travel so far. “

“But not entirely unexpected. You will know that affairs in France have been uneasy for some time. I do hope this is nothing disastrous.”

“The situation in that country is certainly grim,” I said.

“One wonders where it will end.”

I visited the Comte two years ago with my father and even then there was a sense of uneasiness throughout the country. They did not seem to be as much aware of it as I was. Living close to something perhaps makes it less obvious.

“I have heard of the extravagance of the Queen.”

She is very unpopular. The French do not like foreigners, and of course she is one. “

“But a charming and beautiful woman, I believe.”

“Oh yes. We were presented by the Comte. She danced exquisitely, I remember, and was most beautifully gowned. I think the Comte is a little more uneasy than he admits.”

“He does not appear to be in the least so … But perhaps ;

I speak rashly. I scarcely know him. “

“He is not a man to betray his feelings. If there should be trouble he would have a great deal to lose. Among other property he owns the Chateau Silvaine about forty miles due south of Paris, and the Hotel Delibes, a mansion in the capital. His is a very ancient family, connected with the Capets. He is very much a man, of the Court.”

“I see. A most important gentleman.”

“Indeed yes. It is obvious from his demeanour, don’t you think?”

“He seems determined that everyone shall be aware of it. I am sure he would be very put out if they were not.”

“You must not judge him too harshly. Miss Maddox. He is a French aristocrat, and aristocracy is a state of being which is emphasized more definitely in France than here.”

“Certainly I must not presume to judge. After all, as I said, I know nothing of him.”

“I am sure he is uneasy. Only last night when he was talking to my father he mentioned the riots which had taken place a few years ago when the markets were raided and boats on the Oise which were bringing grain to Paris were boarded and the sacks of grain seized and thrown into the river. He said something which impressed my father deeply. He said it was a ” rehearsal for a revolution”. But I am boring you with this dreary conversation.”

“Indeed not. My mother has always insisted that we keep up to date with modem history as well as that of the past. We have the French papers which we read in class. In fact we keep them and read them again and again. So I have heard of that alarming period. The trouble was averted, however.”

“Yes, but I can’t forget the Comte’s words.

“A rehearsal.” And whenever something like this happens . servants coming with a special message . I feel uneasy. “

“Ah, there is Minella!” It was Maria and Sybil with a young man. They carried plates.

“We shall join you,” said Maria.

Joel presented the young man to me.

“This is Tom Fielding. Miss Maddox, Tom.”

Tom Fielding bowed and asked if I had enjoyed the music. I told him that I had immensely.

“The salmon is good,” he said.

“Have you tried it?”

“Joel,” put in Maria, ‘if you wish to look after our guests, I know Minella will excuse you. “

I am sure she would if I had that wish,” replied Joel, smiling at me.

But it happens that I have not. “

“Perhaps you think you ought to …”

Tonight I am bent on pleasure. “

I warmed towards him. I knew that Maria was reminding him that he need not treat the schoolmistress’s daughter as an ordinary guest, which was typical of her. Whether he was aware of her meaning or not, I did not know, but I liked him for his response to it.

The conversation centred on trivialities, and I could see that Joel, who was clearly a serious-minded young man, would have preferred to go on with our discussion.

Sybil said: “Mama says that when you leave, Minella, she will send someone to escort you to the schoolhouse. You must not go back alone.”

“That is kind of her,” I said.

“I will take Miss Maddox back to the house,” said Joel quickly.

“I think you will be needed here, Joel,” Maria pointed out.

“You overrate my importance, sister. Everything will run just as smoothly whether I am here or not.”

“I think Mama expects …”

Joel said: “Tom, do try the marchpane. Our cook is proud of it.”

Since Maria had put the idea into my head, I now began to wonder whether it was time for me to leave. It was half past ten and I must certainly not be the last to go.

I turned to Joel.

“It is good of you to offer to take me. Thank you.”

“It is I who should thank you for allowing me to do so,” he replied gallantly.

“Perhaps I should find Lady Derringham and thank her now.”

“I’ll take you to her,” said Joel.

Lady Derringham received my thanks graciously, and Sir, John said he thought it was extremely good of me to come at such short notice. :

I could not see the Comte anywhere and I wondered whether he had not returned after leaving with Sir John. I did see Margot, though. She was clearly enjoying herself in the company of a young man who seemed to be enchanted with her and she with him. I Joel and I walked the half a mile or so from the Manor to the schoolhouse.

There was a half moon in the sky which shed a pale and eerie light on the bushes. I felt as though I were in a dreams Here I was out late at night with Joel Derringham who showed me clearly that he enjoyed my company. It must have been obvious, otherwise Maria would not have been so put out. I wondered what my mother would say for she would be sitting up waiting for me. She would be expecting one of the servants from the Manor to escort me and when she realized it was the son and heir I could imagine her excitement.

It meant nothing . simply nothing. It was like the Comte’s kisses.

I must remember that, and make her realize it too.

Joel said what a pleasant evening it had been. His parents gave these musical soirees fairly frequently, but this was one he would always remember.

“I shall certainly remember it,” I replied lightly.

“For me it is the first and only one.”

The first perhaps he suggested.

“You do enjoy music, I know. What a sky! It’s rarely so clear. The moon dims the stars somewhat, though.

Look at the Pleiades over there to the north-east. Did you know that when they appear it’s a sign of the end of summer? They are not welcome for that reason. I have always been interested in the stars.

Stand still a moment. Look up. Here are we two little people looking into eternity. It’s rather overwhelming. Do you find it so? “

As I stood there, looking up with him, I felt quite emotional. It had been such a strange evening quite different from anything I had known before and something told me that big events were closing in on me, that I had reached the end of a road, the passing of a phase, and that Joel Derringham and perhaps even the Comte Fontaine Delibes were not merely passing acquaintances but that my future was caught up with theirs in some strange way and it was a beginning.

Joel went on: “They are supposed to be the seven daughters who were pursued by the hunter Orion. When they appealed to the gods to save them from Orion’s lustful embraces, they were changed into doves and placed in the sky.”

“A fate presumably preferable to that which is said to be worse than death,” I commented.

Joel laughed.

“It has been good to meet you,” he said.

“You are so different from other girls I normally meet.” He continued to look up at the sky.

“All the Pleiades married gods, except one, Merope, who married a mortal. For that reason her light was dimmed.”

“So social distinction exists in the heavens!”

That is just the legend. “

“It spoils it in my opinion. I should have liked Merope to shine more brightly because she was more adventurous and independent than her sisters. But of course no one would agree with me.”

“I do,” he assured me.

I felt exhilarated, excited, and the feeling that I was on the threshold of adventure increased.

“You must not be late in returning,” I warned him, ‘or they will wonder what has become of you. “

We were silent as we made our way to the schoolhouse.

As I had guessed my mother was waiting up for me. Her eyes widened with delight when she saw my companion.

He declined to come in but handed me to her as though I were some valuable object to be safely deposited. Then he said good night and was gone.

I had to sit up for a long time telling my mother every detail. I did, but I omitted to mention the Comte.

II

The excitement in the schoolhouse continued. My mother went about with a faraway look in her eyes and there was a smile and contentment on her lips. I knew very well what was in her mind and I was mildly appalled at her temerity.

The fact was that Joel Derringham was determined to be friendly. I was eighteen years of age and in spite of a lack of worldly experience appeared to be quite mature. This was probably due to my having a more serious nature than the! Derringham girls-and certainly than Margot. I had had it brought home to me that I must acquire the best education! available to me with the purpose of earning my living through it; this had been so impressed on me by my mother since the death of my father that I had accepted it as my way of life. I ) had read extensively anything that came to hand; I had felt it i my duty to know something of any subject which might be mentioned; and it was no doubt due to this that Joel found me different. Ever since our meeting, he had sought my company When I went for my favourite walk across the meadows I would find him seated on a stile over which I had to cross, and he would join me in my walk.

He was often riding past the schoolhouse and on several occasions he called in. My mother received him graciously and without fuss, and the only reason why I knew she was inwardly excited was by the faint colour in her cheeks. She was delighted. This most prosaic of women was vulnerable only where her daughter was concerned, and it became embarrassingly clear that she had decided that Joel Derringham should marry me. Instead of at the schoolhouse my future was to be at This was the wildest dream” for even if Joel thought it a possibility, his family would never permit it.

Yet in the space of a week we had become very good friends. I enjoyed our meetings, which were never arranged but seemed to come about naturally, though I suspected they were contrived by him. It was amazing how often I would go out and come upon him. I rode Jenny, our little horse which drew the jingle-our only means of transport. She was not young but docile and my mother had been anxious for me to ride well. Several times when I rode out on her I would come upon Joel on one of the fine hunters from the Derringham stables. He would ride beside me and it invariably happened that where I proposed to go was just where he was going also. He was so gracious and charming as well as informative and I found his company interesting. I was flattered, too, that he should seek me out.

Margot told me that her parents had left England because of the way things were going in France; she did not seem to be very perturbed and was delighted to be left alone in England. Vaguely I wondered about Margot, who was very merry and abandonedly gay one day and subdued and serious the next. Her changes of moods were quite unpredictable, but being absorbed in my own affairs, I put it down to her Gallic temperament and forgot her.

It was Joel who told me about the reason for the Comte’s sudden departure. I had ridden out on Jenny for I used to exercise her after school in the evenings, so the time when I would be at liberty to ride was almost certain to be early evening. Invariably I would see the tall figure coming towards me through the trees and it happened so often that I came to expect it.

Joel looked grave when he discussed the Comte’s departure.

“There is a great scandal brewing at the Court of France,” he told me.

“Some members of the nobility seem to be involved in it and the Comte thought it would be wise for him to go back to be on the spot. It involves a diamond necklace which the Queen is said to have acquired with the assistance of a Cardinal and that in exchange for his services he hoped to become her lover … might, indeed, have been her lover. Of course it is denied by the Queen, and the Cardinal de Rohan and his accomplices have been arrested. It is going to be a cause celebre.”

“And does this concern the Comte Fontaine Delibes?”

“There is a strong feeling that it might concern the whole of France.

The royal family cannot afford a scandal at this time. Perhaps I am wrong . I hope so. My father thinks I exaggerate, but as I told you I sensed a seething unrest in the country when I was there. There is a great deal of extravagance. The rich are so rich and the poor so poor.

“Is that not the case everywhere?”

“Yes, I suppose so, but there seems to be a growing resentment throughout France. I believe the Comte is very much aware of it. It was for this reason that he decided to return without delay. He made arrangements to leave on the night of the soiree.”

I thought about; his leaving in haste and supposed he had not given me another thought. And that, I told myself, is the last I shall see of the distinguished gentleman, and that is not such a bad thing. Something told me that his acquaintance would bring me no good.

I must dismiss him from my mind. That should not be difficult, for at this time I was enjoying a very pleasant friendship with the most eligible young man in the neighbourhood.

We did not speak much of the Comte after that. Joel was interested in the country’s affairs and was hoping one day to become a Member of Parliament. His family were not eager for , this.

“They think that I, being the only son, should give my attention to the estate.”

“And you have other ideas.”

“Oh, I am interested in the estate, but it is not enough to occupy a man’s lifetime. One can delegate to managers. Why should a man not go out and take an interest in the governing of the country?”

“I dare say Mr. Pitt makes a full-time job of his parliamentary career.”

“Ah, but he is Prime Minister.”

“Surely you should aim for the highest office.”

“Perhaps I should.”

“And delegate more and more of estate matters to your managers?”

“That could be. Oh, I like the country. I am interested in managing affairs here, but these are uneasy times. Miss Maddox. They are fraught with danger. If there was trouble on the other side of the Channel…”

“What trouble?” I asked quickly.

“You remember the ” ‘rehearsal I mentioned. What if that really should have been a rehearsal with a full-scale performance to come? “

“You mean a kind of civil war?”

“I mean that the needy might rise against the affluent … the starving against the extravagant spendthrifts. I think that could be a possibility.”

I shivered, picturing the Comte, proud in his chateau and the mob marching . the bloodthirsty mob . My mother said that I allowed my imagination to run away with me.

“Imagination is like fire,” she used to say.

“A good friend but a bad enemy. You must learn to direct it in the way it can serve you best.”

I asked myself why I should be concerned about what happened to that man. I was sure that if an evil fate overtook him he would deserve it, but I imagined no ill fate would ever overtake him. He would always be the winner.

Joel went on: “My father always reproves me if I talk of these things.

He believes there is a good deal of speculation which means nothing. I expect he is right. But in any case the Comte did think he should return. “

“Is it significant that he has left his daughter here?”

“Not in the least. He approves of the tuition she is getting in English. He says that since she studied at your school she speaks far better English than he does. He wants her to perfect it. You can rely on her being with you for another year.”

“My mother will be pleased.”

“And you?” he asked.

“I have a fondness for Margot. She is very amusing.”

“She is very … young …”

“She is growing up fast.” ‘. and lighthearted,” he added Joel was scarcely that, I reflected. He took life somewhat seriously.

He loved to talk politics to me as I was aware of what was happening in the country. My mother and I always read any newspaper which came into our hands. Joel warmly admired Mr. Pitt, that youngest of our Prime Ministers, and he talked of him glowingly, how clever he was, how the country had never been better served, and he believed his introduction of the Sinking Fund would gradually reduce the National Debt.

When there was an attempt on the King’s life, Joel actually called at the schoolhouse to tell us about it. My mother was delighted to see him and brought out a bottle of her homemade wine-kept for special occasions and some of the little wine cakes she took such a pride in.

She was almost purring as we sat down at our parlour table and Joel told us about the demented old woman who had waited for the King as he alighted from his post chariot at the garden gate of St. James’s on a pretext of handing a petition to him, and had tried to stab him in the chest with a knife she had concealed.

Thank God,” said Joel, ‘that His Majesty’s guards caught her arm in time. The King behaved in a manner one expects of him. His concern was for the poor woman.

“I am not hurt,” he cried.

“See to her.” He said afterwards that she was mad and that she was therefore not responsible for her actions. “

“I have heard it said,” my mother commented, ‘that His Majesty would naturally have pity on one so afflicted. “

“Oh, you have been hearing rumours about the state of his own health, I’ll swear,” said Joel.

“You would know,” replied my mother, ‘whether there is any truth in them. “

“I know of the rumours but the truth of them is another matter.”

Do you think the woman was acting by herself or was she the member of some gang intending to harm the King? ” I asked.

“It is almost certain to be the former.”

Joel sipped his wine, and complimenting my mother on it and her wine cakes, began to tell us anecdotes about the Court which enthralled us who were so far removed from it.

It was a pleasant visit and when he had gone my mother glowed with pride and I heard her singing “Heart of Oak’ in her endearing out-of-tune voice, and as she always did this when she was particularly pleased with life, I knew what was in her mind.

My birthday was in September. I was nineteen and when I went out to our little lean-to which served as a stable in order to saddle Jenny, I saw a lovely chestnut mare waiting there for me.

I stared in astonishment. Then I heard a movement behind me and, turning, saw my mother. I had never seen her look quite so happy since my father’s death.

“Well,” she said, ‘now when you go riding with Joel Derringham, you’ll look just right. “

I threw myself into her arms and we hugged each other. There were tears in her eyes when she released me.

“How could you possibly afford it?” I asked.

“Ah!” She nodded sagely.

“That’s not the thing to say when you get a present.”

Then the truth dawned on me.

“The dower!” I cried, appalled. My mother had saved, as she said, ‘for a rainy day,” and the money was kept in the old Tudor dower chest which had been in the family for years. We always referred to the savings as the dower.

“Well, I thought, a horse in the stable was better than a few guineas tied up in a bag. You haven’t finished yet. Come upstairs.”

Proudly she took me to her bedroom and there, laid out on the bed, was a complete riding outfit dark blue skirt and jacket and a tall hat of the same shade.

I couldn’t wait to try on everything and of course it fitted perfectly.

“It’s becoming,” she murmured.

“Your mother would have been so proud.

Now you look as though you really do belong . “

“Belong! To whom?”

“You look every bit as grand as the guests up at the Manor.”

I felt a twinge of apprehension. I understood absolutely how her thoughts were moving. My friendship with Joel Derringham had robbed her of some of her good sense. She had really made up her mind that he was going to marry me, and it was for this reason that she was ready to take money from the dower chest which had been almost sacred to her for as long as I could remember. I could imagine her convincing herself that the horse and the outfit were no extravagance. They were proclaiming to the world how suited her daughter was to step up into the world of the nobility.

I said nothing, but the joy in my new horse and clothes was considerably subdued.

When I rode out she was watching me from the top window and I felt a great surge of tenderness for her and with it was the almost certainty that she was going to be disappointed.

For a few weeks life went on as before. October came. The school was less full than that time last year. My mother was always anxious when pupils disappeared. Sybil and Maria were still coming, of course, with Margot, but it was a foregone conclusion that Margot would one day return to her parents, and Sybil and Maria would probably go with her for they would attend a finishing school near Paris.

I could not help enjoying my new mare. Poor Jenny was relieved to be rid of me and the mare, whom I had called Dower, demanded a great deal of exercise, so I rode often. And Joel was always there to meet me. We had long rides on Saturdays and Sundays when there was no school.

We talked of politics, the stars, the countryside and any subject, all of which he seemed to know a good deal about. There was a quiet enthusiasm about him which I found enclearing, but the fact was that while I liked him very much I found no great exhilaration in his company. I should never have noticed this if it had not been for my encounter with the Comte. Even after all this time the memory of his kisses made me shudder. I had started to dream about him and these dreams could be rather frightening, though when I awoke from them it was always with regret and I wished myself back in them. I would be in embarrassing situations and always the Comte was there, watching me enigmatically so that I could never be sure what he was going to do.

It was all very foolish and ridiculous that a serious-minded young woman of my age should be so naive. I made excuses for myself. Mine had been a sheltered life. I had never been , out in the world.

Sometimes I felt my mother shared my naivete. It must have been so if she thought Joel Derringham was going to marry me.

I was so absorbed in my own affairs that I only vaguely noticed the change in Margot. She was less exuberant. She . was even on some occasions subdued. That she was a creature of moods I had always known, but it had never been so apparent as it was now. There were times when she would be almost hysterically gay and others when she was nearly morbid.

She was inattentive at lessons and I waited until we were alone to reprove her.

“English verbs!” she cried, throwing up her hands. I find them so boring. Who cares whether I speak English as you do or as I do . as long as I am understood.

” I care,” I reminded her.

“My mother cares and your family care. “

“They don’t. They won’t know the difference in any case.”

“Your father has allowed you to stay here because he is pleased with your progress.” ;

“He has allowed me to stay because they want me out of the way.”

“I do not believe such nonsense.”

“Minelle, you are … what is it called … a hypocrite? You pretend to be so good. You learned all your verbs, I don’t doubt … and twice as quickly as anyone else. And now you go riding on your new horse .. in your elegant clothes … and who is waiting in the woods?

Tell me that. “

I asked you here that we might talk seriously, Margot. “

“What is more serious than this, eh? Joel likes you, Minelle. He likes you very much. I am glad because … shall I tell you something?

They meant him for me. Oh, that startles you, yes? My father and Sir John have talked of it. I know because I listened . at keyholes. Oh, very naughty! My father would like me to be settled in England. He thinks France is not very safe for a time. So if I married Joel . who will give me riches . and title . that should be considered. Of course he is not of such an ancient family as ours . but we are prepared to forget that. Now you come along with your new horse, your elegant riding clothes, and Joel does not seem to see me.

He sees only you. “

“I never heard anyone talk such nonsense as you do when you are in the mood.”

“It all began, did it not, when you came to tea. You met him on the lawn by the sun-dial. You looked quite handsome standing there. The sun makes your hair look beautiful, I thought. So did he. Are you in love with him, Minelle?”

“Margot, I do want you to pay more attention to your lessons.”

“And I want you to pay attention to me. But you are doing so. You have grown quite pink thinking of Joel Derringham. You can confide in me because you know …”

“There is nothing to confide. Now Margot, you must work harder at your English, otherwise there is no point in your being here. You might as well be in your father’s chateau.”

“I am not like you, Minelle. I do not pretend.”

“We are not discussing our respective characters but the need for work.”

“Oh, Minelle, you are the most maddening creature! I wonder Joel likes you. I do really.”

“Who said he does?”

“I do. Marie does, so does Sybil. And I reckon everyone says so. You can’t ride out as often as you do with a young man without people’s noticing. And they draw their conclusions.”

Then that is extremely impertinent of them. “

“They won’t let him marry you, Minelle.”

I felt cold with fear and it was not of Joel or myself that I was thinking, but of my mother.

“It’s funny, really …”

She began to laugh. It was one of those occasions when she alarmed me.

Her laughter grew uncontrollable and when I took her by the shoulders she started to cry. She leaned against me and clung to me, her slender body shaking with sobs.

“Margot, Margot,” I cried.

“What’s wrong?”

But I could get no sense out of her.

We had snow in November. It was one of the coldest in memory. Maria and Sybil could not come down from the Manor to the schoolhouse and we had very small classes. We were hard put to it to keep the house warm, and although we kept log fires burning in every room, the bitter east wind seemed to penetrate every crack. My mother caught what she called ‘one of her colds’. She suffered from them every winter so at first we took little notice of this one. But it persisted and I made her stay in bed while I kept the school going. So many pupils stayed away that it was not as difficult as it might have been.

She started to cough in the night and as she grew worse I thought I should call a doctor, but she wouldn’t hear of it. It would cost too much, she said.

“But it is necessary,” I said.

“There’s the dower.”

She shook her head. So I delayed for several days but when she grew feverish and delirious I asked the doctor to come. She had congestion of the lungs, he said.

This was a serious illness-by no means one of the winter colds. I shut the school and gave myself up to nursing her.

These were some of the most unhappy days I had yet known. To see her lying there, propped up with pillows, her skin hot and dry, her eyes glazed, watching me with those too-bright eyes, filled me with misery.

The terrible realization had come to me that her chances of recovery were not great.

“Dearest Mama,” I cried, ‘tell me what to do. I will do anything .anything . if only you will get better. “

“Is that you, Minella?” she whispered. I knelt by the bed and took her hand.

“I am here, my dearest. I have not left you since you have been ill. I shall always be with you …”

“Minella, I am going to your father. I dreamed of him last night. He was standing at the prow of his ship and holding out his hands to me.

I said to him, “I’m coming to you.” Then he smiled and beckoned. I said: “I have to leave our little girl behind,” and he answered: “She will be well taken care of. You know she will.” Then a great peace came to me and I knew all would come right. “

“Nothing can be right if you are not here.”

“Oh yes, my love. You have your life. He is a good man. I have dreamed of it often …” Her voice was scarcely audible.

“He’s kind … like his father … He’ll be good to you. And you’ll fit. Never doubt it. You’re as good as any of them. No, better … Remember that, my child …”

“Oh my darling, I only want you to get well. Nothing else matters.”

She shook her head.

“The time comes for us all, Minella. Mine is now.

But I can go . happy . because he’s there. “

“Listen,” I insisted.

“You’re going to get well. We’ll close the school for a month. We’ll go away together … just the two of us.

We’ll raid the dower chest. “

Her lips twitched. She shook her head.

“Well spent,” she murmured.

“It was money well spent.”

“Don’t talk, dearest. Save your breath.”

She nodded and smiled at me with such a wealth of love in her eyes that I could scarcely restrain my tears.

She closed her eyes and after a while began to murmur under her breath.

I leaned forward to listen.

“Worthwhile,” she whispered.

“My girl .. why not? … she’s as good as any of them … fitting that she should take her place among them. What I always wanted. Like an answer to a prayer … Thank you, God. I can go happy now …”

I sat by the bed, understanding full well her thoughts, which were as they had been since my father’s death all for me. She was dying. I knew that, and I could find no comfort in deceiving myself. But she was happy because she believed that Joel Derringham was in love with me and would ask me to marry him.

Oh beloved, foolish mother! How unworldly she was! Even I, who had lived my sheltered life, was more aware of how the world acted than she was. Or perhaps she was blinded by love. She saw her daughter as a swan among geese . demanding to be singled out for attention.

There was only one thing for which I could be thankful. She died happy believing that my future was secure. She was buried in Derringham churchyard on a bitter December day-two weeks before Christmas. Standing in the cold wind, listening to the clods of earth falling on her coffin, I was completely overcome by my desolation. To represent him. Sir John had sent his butler a very dignified man held in great esteem by all those who worked for the Derringhams. Mrs. Callan, the housekeeper, also came. There were one or two other mourners from the estate, but I was aware of little but my grief.

I saw Joel as we left the churchyard. He was standing by ‘, the gate, his hat in his hand. He did not speak. He just took my hand and held it for a moment. I withdrew it. I could not , bear to talk to anyone.

All I wanted was to be alone.

The schoolhouse was deathly quiet. I could still smell the oak coffin which had stood on trestles in our sitting-room until that morning.

The room seemed empty now. There was nothing but emptiness everywhere in the house, and in my heart no less, I went to my bedroom and lay on my bed and thought of her and how we had laughed and planned together; and how her great relief had been that when she was gone I should have the school-until later when she had made up her mind that Joel Derringham wanted to marry me and had been elated contemplating a brilliant and secure future. I The rest of the day I lay there alone with my grief.

I had slept at length for I was quite exhausted and the next day when I arose I felt a little rested. The future stared me blankly in the face for I could not imagine it without her. I supposed I should continue with the school as she had always intended that I should until. I shook off thoughts of Joel Derringham. I liked him, of course, but even if he asked me to marry him I was not sure that I wanted to. What had alarmed me about my friendship with Joel was the knowledge that my mother was going to be heartbroken when it would finally be brought home to her that I could not marry him.

The Derringhams would never allow it even if Joel and I wished it.

Margot had told me he had been intended for her and that would be a suitable match. At least my dearest mother would not have to suffer that disappointment.

What should I do? I had to go on with my life. I should therefore continue with the school. I had the contents of the dower chest which was in her bedroom. That chest had belonged to her great-great-grandmother and had come down through the eldest daughters of the family. Money was put into it from the day a girl was born so that there would be a good sum by the time she was marriageable. The key was kept on the chain which my mother had worn about her waist and that chatelaine had also been handed down through the women of the household with the chest.

I found the key and opened the chest.

There were but five guineas there.

I was amazed because I had believed I should find at least a hundred.

Then the truth which I should have realized before dawned on me. Of course, the horse! The riding outfit!

Later I also found lengths of material in her cupboard, and when Jilly Barton came with a velvet gown which she had made for me, I knew what had happened.

The dower had been spent to buy clothes for me that I might show myself to be a worthy partner for Joel Derringham.

I awoke on the first Christmas Day alone to a sense of great desolation. I lay in bed unwisely remembering other Christmases when my mother had come into my room carrying mysterious parcels, calling out: “Merry Christmas, my darling!” and how I would reach out for my gifts to her and the fun we had scattering wrappings over the bed and exclaiming with surprise (often assumed because we were always practical in our choice of gifts). But when we declared, as we often did,

“It’s exactly what I wanted!” it invariably was, as we knew each.

other’s needs to perfection. Now here I was alone. It had been too sudden. If she had been ill for some time I could have grown accustomed to the knowledge that I had to lose her and perhaps that would have softened the blow. She had not been old. I railed against the cruel fate which had deprived me of the one I loved.

Then I seemed to hear her voice admonishing me. I had to go on living.

I had to make a success of my life and I should never do that if I gave myself up to bitterness.

Grief is always so much harder to bear on feast days and the reason is self-pity. That sounded like my mother’s reasoning. Because other people were enjoying life that should not make one more miserable.

I arose and dressed. I had been invited to spend the day at the Mansers who farmed some of the Derringham estates. My mother and I had spent Christmas with them for several years and they had been good friends to us. They had six daughters and they had all been at the school-the two youngest were still there, great strapping girls destined surely to become farmers’ wives. There was a son too Jim, a few years older than I, who was already his father’s right-hand man.

The Mansers’ farm had always seemed to us a house of plenty. They often sent us joints of lamb and pork and my mother used to say they kept us in milk and butter.

Mrs. Manser could never be grateful enough for the education her children had received. It would have been quite beyond the family’s means to send the children away to school -and they were not the kind to employ a governess and when my mother had opened the school so close at hand, the Mansers said it was like an answer to their prayers. There were several other families who had felt the same and that was why we had had enough pupils to support the school. :

I rode to the Mansers’ on Dower and was especially warmly received by all, which was touching. I tried to throw off my grief and be as bright as possible in the circumstances. I could scarcely eat any of the goose which Mrs. Manser had prepared with such loving care, but I did try my best not to cast a gloom over the day. I joined them in the games they played afterwards and Mrs. Manser contrived to partner me with Jim, and I could see how her mind was working. It might have been amusing if I were not in such a sad mood, to see how the people who cared for me were anxious to see me settled.

I could not believe I should make a good farmer’s wife, but at least Mrs. Manser’s solution might be more possible than the wild dreams in which my mother had indulged.

Mrs. Manser insisted that I stay the night and spend the next day with them, which I did, feeling grateful not to have to go back to the lonely schoolhouse.

It was mid-afternoon of the following day when I returned. School would start at the beginning of the next week and I had to prepare the curriculum. I could scarcely bear the silence of the house, the empty chair, the empty rooms. I longed to get right away.

I had not been in the house an hour when Joel called.

He took my hands and looked into my face with such compassion that I could scarcely restrain my grief.

“I don’t know what to say to you, Minella,” he told me.

I replied: “Please say nothing. That is best. Talk … talk about anything, but not…”

He nodded, releasing my hands. He told me he had wondered about me during Christmas and had come over on the morning of Christmas Day to find me gone. I explained where I had been and told him of the kindness of the Mansers.

He took a box from his pocket and said he had a little gift for me. I opened it and there was a brooch lying on black velvet a sapphire surrounded by rose diamonds.

"I was attracted by the sapphire,” he said.

“I thought it was the colour of your eyes.”

I was overcome by emotion. Since my mother’s death I had been too easily moved by a show of kindness. It was a beautiful brooch-far more valuable than anything I had ever possessed.

“I was good of you to think of me,” I said.

“I have thought of you a great deal … all the time … since…”

I nodded and turned away. Then I took out the brooch and he watched me pin it on my dress.

“Thank you,” I said, “I shall always treasure it.”

“Minella,” he said, “I want to talk to you.”

His voice was gentle and a little apprehensive. In my mind’s eye I could see my mother’s smiling eyes, the happy curve of her lips. Could it really be?

Panic seized me. I wanted time to think . to grow accustomed to my loneliness . my unhappiness.

“Some time,” I began.

He said: I will see you tomorrow. Perhaps we will ride together. “

“Yes,” I replied.

“Please.”

He went and I sat for a long time staring ahead of me.

I was aware of a serenity in the house. It was almost as though my mother was there. I could almost hear the strains of “Heart of Oak’.

I spent a restless night turning over in my mind what I should say if Joel asked me to marry him. The brooch was perhaps a symbol of his intentions which I was sure were honourable with a man like Joel they could not be anything else. I seemed to hear my mother’s voice urging me not to hesitate. That would be foolish. I imagined that she was with me and that we discussed the matter together.

“I don’t love him as one should love a man one marries.” I could see her lips purse as I had seen them so often when she expressed contempt for a point of view.

“You don’t know anything about love, my child. That’ll come.

He’s a good man. He can give you all I ever wanted for you. Comfort, security and enough love to do for the two of you . for a start.

You couldn’t help but grow to love a man like that. I see your little ones playing there on those lawns near the sun-dial where you first really got to know each other. Oh, the joy of little ones. I only had one, but after your father died she was all the world to me. “

“Dearest of mothers, are you right? You often were but do you know what is best for me?”

I could never have told her of my feelings when the Comte had seized and kissed me. There had been a kind of stirring within me, something rather terrifying and yet irresistible. It had brought with it a realization that there was something I did not understand but which I must before I entered into marriage. The Comte had made me realize that Joel could not have that effect on me. That was all.

I could hear my mother’s gentle laugh.

“The Comte! A notorious philanderer. A most unpleasant and uncomfortable man! The fact that he behaved as he did shows him to be wicked. And his wife sleeping in the next room! Think of good kind Joel who would never do anything dishonourable and could give you all that I ever wanted for you.” All I ever wanted for you. Those words kept echoing in my mind.

III

It was on the following day that the drama started. It began by Sir John’s riding over to the schoolhouse.

“Miss Maddox,” he cried, and his distracted looks amazed me, ‘is she here? Is Margot here? “

“Margot!” I answered.

“No. I haven’t seen her for several days.”

“Oh my God, what can have become of her?”

I stared at him blankly and he went on: “She has not been seen since last night. Her bed has not been slept in. She told the girls that she was going to bed early on account of a headache. That was the last time she was seen. Have you any idea where she can have gone?”

I shook my head and tried to recall my last conversation with Margot.

There was nothing to suggest she contemplated flight.

When Sir John went back to the Manor I was very uneasy. I kept telling myself that it was a prank of hers. She would turn up and laugh at us.

For some time, though, there had been a certain secrecy about Margot.

I should have taken more notice but I had been so absorbed in my own affairs.

I could not settle to anything and in the early afternoon I could not resist going over to the Manor to see if there was any news. I waited in the hall and when Maria and Sybil came down to me their faces were taut with excitement, yet I felt they were revelling in the disturbance.

“I believe she has gone off with someone,” said Maria.

“Gone off with someone. With whom?”

That is what we have to find out. Joel is most upset. ” Maria was looking at me. of course there was to be a match between them.”

“She can’t have gone off,” said Sybil.

“There is no one for her to have gone off with. Besides she knew she was going to marry Joel as soon as she was old enough. That was why the were so anxious for her to learn English and like it here ” Have you questioned the servants? ” I asked.

“Everyone has been questioned,” replied Maria, ‘but the don’t know anything. Papa is frantic. So is Mama. He says h will have to send a message to the Comte and Comtesse if sh is not found by tomorrow. “

“She was under Papa’s care,” said Sybil.

“It is dreadful for him. I do hope nothing is wrong. We thought she might have confided in you. She was always more friendly with you that with us.”

“She confided nothing,” I said, and I thought of those occasions when I had been sure I had seen secrets in he eyes. I should have asked her what was happening. I belie vi she might have wanted to tell. Margot was not the sort t( keep secrets.

“Is there anything we can do …” I began.

“We can only wait,” replied Sybil.

As I was about to leave, one of the grooms came into th hall, dragging a young boy from the stables who looked scare out of his wits.

“Miss Maria,” said the groom, “I think I should have a won with Sir John and no delay.”

“Is it about Mademoiselle Fontaine Delibes?” asked Maria “The French young lady, yes, Miss Maria.”

Sybil ran off at once to search for her father while Maria pulled the bell rope and sent a servant in search of him. Fortunately he was soon found and came hurrying to the hall.

knew that I had no right to stay but I was so concerned about Margot that I stubbornly remained.

The groom burst out: “Tim here have something to say, Si) John. Come, Tim. Tell what you know.”

“It’s our James, sir,” said Tim.

“He haven’t been ‘ome. Hi have gone off with the French young lady, sir. He said he were going but us didn’t believe ‘im.”

“Oh my God,” muttered Sir John under his breath. He hall closed his eyes as though to convince himself that this was no really happening.

I remembered James. He was the sort a young man one would remember tall and startlingly hand some-a rather swaggering, arrogant young man who st outstanding looks appeared to have given him a good opinion of himself.

Sir John became brisk. He looked straight at the stable boy and said.

“Tell me everything you know.”

“I don’t know nothing but that he be gone, sir. I only know he said he were going to marry into society, like …”

“What ?’ cried Sir John.

“Yes, sir, he said as he were going to run away to a place in Scotland. He said they’d get married there and he’d be gentry after that.”

Sir John said: “There is no time to lose. I must go after them. I must bring her back before it is too late.”

I returned to the schoolhouse for there was no reason why I should stay. I fancied that both Maria and Sybil were inclined to think that I had played some part in Margot’s wickedness, for they were convinced that she would have confided in me. I should have to assure them that this was not the case, but Margot herself would do that when she was brought back.

I sat in the sitting-room and thought about Margot who had become involved in this foolish adventure. What if she really did marry the groom? What would the reactions of the Comte be to that? He would never forgive us for allowing it. Margot would doubtless be cast off, for could the proud Comte accept a groom as his son-in-law? How could Margot have done this? She was only sixteen years old and she had a passing fancy for a groom! How like her! No doubt she thought it amusing at first. She was quite childish. But what would the outcome of the affair be?

Mrs. Manser came over to see me. She had brought some eggs but the real object of the visit was the desire to gossip. She sat at the table, her eyes round with excitement.

“What a how-do-you-do! That little madam … going off with James Wedder. My goodness gracious me! They’ll never get over this at the Manor.”

“Sir John will bring her back.”

“If he’s in time. James Wedder was one for the girls always. He’s got a real fancy for himself, that one. Mind you, he’s a fine figure of a man. They say that far back he’s connected with the Derringhams. Sir John’s grandfather was a bit of a rip, I believe. Ladies and serving girls … it didn’t matter much to him and that meant that there was a good deal of Derringham blood hereabouts … though called by other names. There was one of the Wedder girls who had two bastards by him, so the story goes, and that where James comes in. Always gave himself airs, did James. And now to run off like that.”

They can’t have got far,” I said.

“They’ve got a start you know. They’ll bring them back mayhap … and what then?” She looked at me intently.

“They say it was to have been a match between her and Mr. Joel. That was why she was brought over here … least, that’s what I heard. What’ll happen now … who can say?”

“She is very young,” I said.

“I know her well … through school. I think she would be inclined to act recklessly and regret afterwards. I do hope Sir John is in time.”

“They say Mr. Joel is determined to stop the marriage. He’s gone off with his father. The pair of them will put an end to this, you can be sure. But what a scandal for the Manor.”

Anxious as I was to glean all the information I could, I was glad when Mrs. Manser left. I think she was trying to offer me some oblique warning, for it had been noticed that I sometimes rode out with Joel Derringham. Although there was not such a wide gulf between us as there was between Margot and her groom, still the gulf was there.

Mrs. Manser thought I should be wise to” encourage the courtship of her son Jim and learn to become a farmer’s j wife.

A whole day and night passed in anxious speculation and’;

then Sir John and Joel returned bringing Margot with them. I did not see her. She was exhausted and distraught and put straight to bed. No one called from the Manor to give me the news, and once again it was from Mrs. Manser that I gleaned information. ‘ “They found them in time. Traced them, they did. They’d covered more than seventy miles. I heard it from Tom Harris, the groom that went with Sir John. He likes a jug of our home-brew taken in the parlour.

He says they were both scared out of their wits and Master James wasn’t so bold when he was faced with Sir John. He’s been sent off on the spot.

That’s the last we’ll hear of James Wedder, I shouldn’t wonder. Not like Sir John to send a man off when he’s got nowhere to go to, but this was different, I reckon. This ‘un teach him a lesson. “

“Did you hear about Mademoiselle?”

Tom Harris said she was crying as though her heart was broken, but they brought her back . and that’s the end of James Wedder for her. “

“How could she have been so foolish!” I cried.

“She might have known.”

“Oh, he’s a dashing young fellow and young girls when they fancy themselves in love don’t always give much thought to what’s coming of it.”

Again I felt she was warning me.

Life was changing rapidly my mother gone forever and new responsibilities crowding in on me. The school was not the same; it had lost the dignity my mother had given it. I was well educated and could teach, but I seemed so young and I knew there was not the confidence in me which my mother had inspired. I was only nineteen years old. People remembered this. I found taking class more difficult than it had been there was a certain amount of insubordination. Margot had not come back to school although Maria and Sybil had. Maria told me that at the beginning of the summer she and her sister were going to a finishing school in Switzerland.

My heart sank. Without the Derringham girls, the school would lose the pupils who came from the Manor the preserve on our bread, as my mother had called them. But it was not so much the preserve I had to worry about as the bread itself.

“There is talk of our brother’s going on the Grand Tour,” Maria told me maliciously.

“Papa thinks it will be a good education for him and all young men of his station do it. He will be going soon.”

It was as though Margot’s adventure with the groom had set something in motion, the subject of which was to change everything.

I felt a sudden longing for Joel’s company he was always so calm, so reassuring in a way. And if he were going on the Grand Tour that meant that he would be away possibly for two years. What a lot could happen in two years! The once flourishing little school could become bankrupt. Without th Derringhams . what should I do? I felt I was being blame for Margot’s indiscretion. It had often been said that Marge and I were good friends. Perhaps it was also being said that had allowed myself to become too friendly with Joel Derringham - a liaison which could not have an honourable ending and that had been a bad influence on Margot.

When two girls from one of the nearby big country house announced that they were leaving and going to a finishing school it was like a red light flickering at the end of a tunneI took Dower out for a long ride hoping to meet Joel an hear from his own lips that he was going away. But I did not see him and that in itself was significant.

On a Sunday morning he came to see me. My heart started to beat faster as I watched him tether his horse. As he cam into the sitting-room he looked very grave.

“I’m going away shortly,” he told me.

There was silence broken only by the ticking of the grandfather clock.

“Maria mentioned it,” I heard myself say.

“Well, of course it is considered to be part of one’s education.”

Where shall you go? “

“Europe … Italy, France, Spain … the Grand Tour.”

“It will be most interesting.”

“I would rather not go.”

Then why? “

“My father insists.” ;

“I see, and you must obey him.” “I always have.” “And you couldn’t stop doing so now, naturally. But why should you want to ?”

“Because … There is a reason why I don’t want to g< He looked at me steadily.

“I have prized our friendship.” j “It was good.”

“Is good. I’ll be back, Minella.”

“That will be in the future.”

“But I shall come back. Then I shall talk to you … ver seriously.”

“If you come back and I am here I shall be interested t hear what you have to say.”

He smiled and I said quietly: “When do you leave?”

“In two weeks’ time.”

I nodded.

“Can I get you a glass of wine? My mother’s speciality. She was proud of the wines she made. There is sloe gin too. It is very palatable.”

“I am sure it is, but I want nothing now. I just came to talk to you.”

“You will see some glorious works of art … and architecture. You will be able to study the night sky in Italy. You will learn the politics of the countries through which you pass. It will be an education.”

He was looking at me almost piteously. I thought that if I made a certain move he might suddenly come to me and put his arms about me and urge me to be as foolish and reckless as Margot and her groom. I thought: No. It is not for me to lead the way. If he wants to enough he must do that. I wondered what the Derringhams would do if Joel told them he wanted to marry me. A second disaster and so similar to the other. A mesalliance, they would call it.

Oh my dear mother, how wrong you were!

“I shall see you before I go,” he was saying.

“I want us to ride out together. There is so much I want to discuss.”

After he had gone I sat at the table thinking of him. I knew what he meant. His family, realizing his interest in me, were sending him away. Margot’s episode had alerted them to danger.

Over the mantelpiece hung the picture of my mother which my father had had painted during the first year of their marriage. It was wonderfully like her. I gazed at those steady eyes, that resolute mouth.

“You dreamed too much,” I said.

“It was never meant to come to anything.”

And I was not sure that I wanted it to. All I knew was that my world was collapsing about me. I could see the pupils drifting away and I felt lonely and a little afraid.

Joel left and the days seemed long. I was glad when school was over though I dreaded the long evenings when I lighted the lamps and tried to occupy myself with preparations for the next day’s lessons. I was grateful for the frequent company of the Mansers, but I was always aware of Jim and their expectations with regard to him and me. I fancied Mrs.

Manser was telling her husband that I had come to my senses and stopped thinking of Joel Derringham.

I was deeply regretting the loss of our savings. There were several lengths of expensive material in my mother’s bedroom and the cost of keeping Dower had to be considered. I could not get rid of dear Jenny who had served us so well, so there were two of them to keep.

Maria and Sybil talked constantly of their approaching departure for Switzerland and I was haunted by the fear that I was not going to be able to keep the school going.

When I was alone at night I would imagine my mother was there and I would talk to her. I used to fancy I could hear her voice coming to me over that great void which separates the dead from the living, and I was comforted.

“One door shuts and another opens.” She had a stock of such well-worn truisms at her disposal to bring out when they fitted the occasion, and I had often teased her about them. Now I remembered them and rejoiced in them.

There was one thing which alarmed me and that was the new coolness of Sir John and Lady Derringham towards me. They considered I had behaved in a most unbecoming manner by allowing their son to be attracted by me. I should have known better, and they laid the blame on me, seeing me, I was sure, as a scheming adventuress. Even though Joel had been sent away on his Grand Tour, I believe they had decided that I should be given no more chances to practise my wiles, which meant of course a withdrawal of their patronage. This was the most frightening aspect of the situation. My mother had constantly mentioned what great good had come to us through them, and I was wondering how long I could run the school at a loss.

One blustering March day Margot came to say goodbye to me. She looked subdued, but I detected a sparkle of mischief i in her eyes. It was a Sunday-a day when there was no school and I-‘ expected she had chosen it for that reason. “Hello, Minelle,” she said. “I am going home next week. I’ve come to say goodbye. ” I felt suddenly wretched. I had been fond of Margot and it i meant that everything and everyone I cared about was slip) ping away from me.

“This little episode-‘ she spread her hands as though to embrace the schoolhouse, myself and the whole of England ‘it is over.”

“Well, it has been an experience for you.”

“Sad, yes, and happy … and amusing. Nothing is all one of those, is it. There is always some of each. Poor James. I often wonder where he is. Sent away in disgrace. But he will find a new place … more girls to love.”

“And you?”

“I also.”

“It was a foolish thing to do, Margot.”

“Yes, was it not? Like most adventures, they are so much more fun to plan than to carry out. We used to lie under the hedge in the shrubbery and make plans. That was the best part. It was so dangerous.

I used to run and find him at every possible moment. “

“When you played hide and seek, even,” I said.

She nodded, laughing at me.

“Anyone might have seen us at any time. We both said we did not care.”

“But you were afraid of what might happen.”

“Oh yes. But I like to be afraid. Don’t you? Oh no, you are too righteous. Though what about you and Joel, eh? In a way we are in the same position … two of a kind, as they say, do they not? We both lost our lovers.”

“Joel was not my lover.”

“Well, he hoped to be. And you hoped. It made me laugh. You … the schoolmistress. Me … and the groom. It was a dance … the dance of the classes. Funny, do you, see?”

“No, I don’t.”

“You have become a true schoolmistress, Minelle. But we had fun together-and now I am to go back to France. Sir John and Lady Derringham have been longing to be rid of me and now I am going.”

“I am sorry. I shall miss you very much.”

She stood up and in her impulsive way flung her arms about me.

“And I shall miss you, Minelle. I always liked you the best. I cannot talk to Marie and Sybil. They look down their silly noses at me as though I have the plague … and all because I have known something which they have not … and never will, most likely. Perhaps you will come and see me in France.”

“I cannot see how this would be possible.”

“I might ask you.”

“It is kind of you, Margot.”

“Minelle, I am a little worried.”

“Worried? What about?”

“I don’t know what I should do.”

“Perhaps you should explain.”

“When James and I lay under the hedge in the shrubbery we did not simply make plans.”

“What do you mean?”

“I am going to have a child, Minelle.”

“Margot!”

“The ultimate shame,” she cried.

“If is not so much what one does as being caught in it. You see, James could have been my lover and that would have been a regrettable incident … to be hushed up and forgotten. But when there is living evidence of our liaison, what then? Shame. Disaster. Well, that is the story, Minelle. What am I to do?”

“Do Sir John and Lady Derringham know this?”

“No one knows but you … and me.”

“Margot, what can you do?”

“That is what I want you to advise me on.”

“What advice is there? You are going to have a child and there can be no hiding it.”

“It will be hidden. People have had illegitimate children in the past and hidden it.”

“How will you hide it?”

“That is what I must discover.”

“Margot, how can help you in this?”p>

“That is what I came to talk about.” I saw the fear in her eyes then.

“I’m afraid to go home … like this. Soon all will see it, will they not? And my father …”

In my mind’s eye I saw him as clearly as I had that first time in Derringham Manor. I could feel his lips hard against mine.

“Perhaps he will understand,” I suggested.

Margot laughed rather bitterly.

“He will have had his bastards, doubt it not. That is nothing . a bagatelle. But what is acceptable for a man like my father is the ultimate disgrace for his daughter. ”

” It is so unfair. ”

“Of course it’s unfair, Minelle, but what am I going to do? When I think of facing my father I feel like going to the top of the tower and throwing myself over.”

“Don’t talk like that.”

“I never would, of course. I am always so interested to know what is coming next. Minelle, let’s run away … you and I. The school is not going well, is it? I’ve heard them talk. Joel has gone. The lover who had to obey his parents rather than follow his love! Pouff!” She snapped her fingers.

“James … he was bold.

“We will become gipsies,” he said.

“I will make a fortune and we will live in a castle as grand as your father’s …” And then Sir John comes and he withers and is then only a frightened boy. I am not weak like that. Nor are you. We are not people to do something because it has always been done. We can make up our minds. We can fight. “

“You are talking nonsense, Margot.”

“What am I going to do, then?”

There is only one thing you can do. You must go to Sir John and tell him you are expecting a child. He is kind. He will help you and he will know what to do. “

“I’d rather tell him than tell my father.”

“Perhaps your mother will help.”

Margot laughed.

“My mother would not dare do anything. She would only tell him and I might as well do that.”

“What do you think he will do?”

“He will be mad with rage. I am the only child of the marriage. That infuriates him in itself. No son to carry on the great line-and my mother too weak and ailing and the doctors insisting that she must have no more children. So I am the hope of the house, I have to make a grand marriage. Although there was talk of Joel for me, I don’t think my father thought it was ideal. He was only considering it because of the troubles in France and he thought English estates might be useful in the near future. Well, now the hope of the house is about to bear a bastard and a groom is its father!”

She burst into loud laughter which alarmed me for it told me that for all her flippant talk she was on the verge of hysteria.

Poor Margot! She was indeed in an unhappy situation and as I saw it there was only one way out. She must tell Sir John and ask for his help.

She was against doing that and continued with wild plans for our running away together, but at length I impressed on her that this would be as futile as her elopement and when she left me she seemed a little calmer and I believe had made up her mind that the only possible action was to confess her plight.

The next day after school when I was putting the books away and trying to fight off the depression which had beset me when two more pupils had told me that morning that they were leaving at the end of the term, Margot arrived.

She had run all the way from the Manor and was breathless. I made her sit down and gave her a glass of my mother’s tonic which she had said was good for depression, and not until Margot had drunk it would I listen to her.

Then she told me that she had gone to Sir John and told him.

“I thought he. would die of shock. He seemed to think that although we were lovers and had planned to marry it was quite impossible that we could have behaved in what he called “this irresponsible way” He didn’t believe me at first. He thinks I am quite innocent and believe that babies are found under gooseberry bushes. He kept saying: “It cannot be so. It is a mistake. My dear Margot, you are such a child” I told him I was old enough to have a baby and to do beforehand that which was necessary to produce one. The way he looked at me! I could have laughed if I had not been a little frightened. Then he said what I knew he would.

“I must tell your parents at once.” So you see, Minelle, what you have done. Through your advice we have brought about the very thing we wanted to avoid. “

“It was impossible to avoid it, Margot. How could you keep such a secret from them? It’s not as though it is merely a matter of having a baby. After its birth the baby will be there. How could you cope with that … without their knowing.”

She shook her head.

Then she looked at me steadily, her enormous dark eyes like brilliant lamps in her pale face.

“I dread facing him,” she said.

I could well believe that, and I did my best to comfort her. Her nature was such that she could be in the depth of despair and shortly afterwards sparkle with joie de vivre. She laughed a good deal but there was often hysteria in that laughter and I knew she was terrified of her father.

She did not leave for France at the appointed time. She came to the schoolhouse to tell me that her father was coming to England and that she was to stay at the Manor until he arrived. She had now assumed an air of bravado, but i wondered how deep it went. Poor Margot! She was in great trouble.

It was Mrs. Manser who told me that the Comte had arrived at the Manor.

“I reckon,” she said, ‘that he has come to take Mademoiselle home.

She’ll have a talking-to and no mistake. Imagine the Comte’s rage at his daughter going off with a groom! “

“I can well imagine it.”

“My word! He’s a gentleman who has a high opinion of himself. You’ve only got to see him riding round to know that. And his daughter thinking she was going to marry James Wedder! I never heard the like.

It don’t do, you know. God put you where you are and that’s where you should stay to my mind. “

I was in no mood to listen to her homilies and when she invited me back to supper I pleaded too much school work.

“How’s the school going, Minelle?” Her forehead was creased into lines of anxiety but her mouth betrayed a certain satisfaction. In her opinion it was not right for women to be anything but wives and the less profitable the school was the sooner I should come to my senses.

She wanted to see her Jim settled with a wife of her choice (and oddly enough I was that) and little ones running about the farm, learning to milk cows and feed the hens. I smiled, picturing my mother’s distaste.

Soon after Mrs. Manser had gone a messenger came from the Manor. My presence was requested there and Sir John and Lady Derringham would be pleased if I came without delay. It was almost a summons.

I thought it must be something to do with the departure from the school of Maria and Sybil. Perhaps they were not going to see the term through but were leaving at once With some trepidation I realized that the Comte would be there. But it seemed hardly likely that I I crossed the lawn, passed the sun-di hall. One of the footmen told me that for me in the blue drawing-room and he without delay. He opened the door and saw Sir John standing with his back to leaped and started to pound uncomfor

I was at the window, looking out.

“Ah, Miss Maddox,” said Sir John.

The Comte swung round and bowed.

“I dare say you wonder why we have here,” said Sir John.

“It concerns this Marguerite. The Comte has a propositior I am going to leave you with him that He indicated a high-backed chair faci sat down.

As the door shut on Sir John, the Co window seat and folding his arms re gar “Since, Mademoiselle Maddox, you’s little better than I speak yours, it might this conversation in French. I want you the nature of my proposal.”

“If I should fail to understand I shall A faint smile touched his lips. Mademoiselle, for you are very know led tres sing affair of my daughter. What shame … for our noble house.”

“It is certainly unfortunate.”

He spread his hands and I noticed ag ring and the exquisite white lace at th “I do not intend to allow it to be moi need. I must tell you that I have no soi one who may well have to carry on ou must prevent that.

But first she must p tard . this son of a groom. He shal name. “

I reminded him that the child might be “Let us hope it will be so. A daughter But first we must consider what must must be born in obscurity. I can arra will go to a place. I shall find for her. St. This or That … and she will have a companion with her.

Marguerite will be a widow in some distress because her young husband was killed in an accident. Her kind cousin is looking after her. The child will be born, put with foster parents, and Marguerite will return to her home and it will be as though this unfortunate matter had never happened. “

“It seems an easy solution.”

“Not so easy. It will need some planning. I do not like these secrets in families. This is not the end of the matter … with a child who will be there for the rest of its life. You see, Mademoiselle, I am very uneasy.”

That I understand, of course. “

“You are a very understanding young woman. I knew it from our first meeting.” A smile touched his lips and he was silent for a few moments. Then he went on: “You are puzzled, I can see. You wonder where you come into this. Now I will tell you. You will be the cousin.”

“What cousin?”

“Marguerite’s cousin, naturally. You will accompany her to the place I shall find for you. You will look after her, be with her, make sure she does not act foolish again-and I shall know that she is in good hands.”

I was so astonished that I stammered: “It … it’s impossible.”

“Impossible! That is a word I do not like. When people say to me Impossible, I then decide that I will show it to be possible.”

“I have my school.”

“Ah, your school. That saddens me. I hear it is not doing as well as it should.”

“What do you mean?”

He spread his hands and somehow managed to convey that he was distressed by my misfortunes while the curve of his lips showed that he found my plight amusing . and a little gratifying. This is a time for frank speaking,” he said.

“Mademoiselle Maddox, I have my need. You have yours. What will you do when the school becomes a liability rather than an asset, eh? Tell me that.”

There is no question of that arising. “

“Oh come, did I not ask for plain speaking? If you will forgive my bluntness, you are not the mature figure your mother was. People hesitate. Shall I send my daughters to a school where the Principal … the only teacher … is little more than a girl herself? Look what happens. One pupil runs off with a groom.

Would that have happened while your mother was in charge? “

“Your daughter’s elopement has nothing to do with the school.”

“My daughter spent many hours with you at your school. There she gossiped and told her love secrets, I do not doubt. Then she elopes with the groom. It is a disaster for her … for us … for you and the school. Particularly when I hear some gossip that the son had to depart on the Grand Tour somewhat hastily on your account.”

“You are … offensive.”

“I know. To tell you the truth it’s part of my charm. I cultivate it.

It is so much more attractive than geniality. Particularly when I am speaking the truth, and that is, my dear Mademoiselle, that you are in an uneasy situation . and so am I. Let us be friends. Let us help each other. What will you do when the school no longer provides you with a living? You will become a governess, I’ll swear, to some hateful children who will make your life a misery. But you might marry.

You could become a farmer’s wife, perhaps . and let me tell you this, that would be the greatest tragedy of all. “

“You seem to know a great deal about my private affairs.”

I make a point of learning what interests me. “

“But I cannot do what you suggest.”

“For such an intelligent young woman you say some foolish things sometimes. But then I know you do not mean them so it does not alter my opinion of you. I am interested in you, Mademoiselle. Are you not in charge of my daughter and going to take an even closer interest in her? I want you to leave as soon as possible but I understand that you will have matters to clear up. I am a reasonable man. I would not wish to hurry you too much and fortunately we have a little time.”

“You go too fast.”

“I always go fast. It is the best way to travel. But you will find it not too fast. Just the right speed. Well, the matter is settled then and we can get down to details.”

The matter is far from settled. Suppose I agreed . suppose I stayed with Margot until the child is born, what then? “

“There would be a position for you in my household.”

“Position? What position?”

That we can decide on. You will be Marguerite’s cousin during your stay in the house where I shall send you. Perhaps you could continue to be that. I have always found that when practising deception it is well to be consistent. One should keep as near to the truth as possible and keep the fiction plausible throughout. Fact and fiction must be skilfully woven to give an impression of complete truth, and once having established yourself as a cousin, it may be that it would be well for you to continue in that role. Your nationality provides difficulties. We must have it that the daughter of a great-great-great-grandfather married into England and you are from a branch of that family tree, which makes you a cousin, though a remote one. You will be Marguerite’s companion and look after her. She will need looking after. This episode has proved that. Is that not a good proposition? It gets you out of your difficulties and me out of mine.

”It seems quite outrageous. “

The best things in life can be just that. I will start making arrangements without delay. “

“I have not yet agreed to come.”

“But you will, for you are a woman of sound good sense. You make your mistakes like most of us but you will not repeat them. I know that and I want you to endow Marguerite with some of your good sense. She is a wayward child, I fear.” He stood up and came to my chair. I also stood and faced turn. He laid his hands on my shoulders and I was vividly reminded of that other occasion in his bedroom. I think he was too, for he sensed my shrinking and it amused him.

“It is always a mistake to be afraid of life,” he said, “Who said that I was afraid?”

“I can read your thoughts.”

Then you are very clever. “

“You will discover how clever … in time, perhaps. Now I am going to be kind as well as clever. This has come as a shock to you. You had no idea of the proposition I was going to put to you and I can see the thoughts turning over and over in your mind. My dear Mademoiselle, face the facts. The school is in decline; this affair of my daughter has shocked members of the gentry.

You may say it was none of your affair but Marguerite was at your school and you have had the misfortune to attract the heir of Derringham. You cannot help being charming, but these people are not as far-seeing as I am. They will say you set out to catch him and the Derringhams found out in time and sent him off. Unfair, you say. You had no intention of trapping this young man. But it is not always what is true that counts. I give your school another six months . perhaps eight . and then what? Come, be sensible. Be Marguerite’s cousin. I will see that you need not be worried with finances again.

Get away from the schoolhouse of sad memories. I know of the love between you and your mother. What can you do here but brood? Get away from slander, from gossip. Mademoiselle, this unfortunate state of affairs can bring a new life to you. “

So much of what he was saying was true. I heard myself murmur: “I cannot decide immediately.”

He gave a little sigh of relief.

“No, no. It asks too much. You shall have today and to, morrow to decide. You will think about this and the plight of my daughter. She is fond of you. When I told her what I proposed she became happy. She loves you. Mademoiselle. Think of her distress. And think of your future too.”

He took my hand and kissed it. I was ashamed of the emotion it aroused in me and I hated myself for being so impressed by such a philanderer, which I was sure he was.

Then he bowed and left me.

Thoughtfully I returned to the schoolhouse.

I sat up late that night going through the books. In any case I knew I could not sleep. The effect that man had on me astonished me. He repelled me and yet attracted me. I could not! get him out of my mind.

To be in his house . to have a position there . a sort of cousin!

I should be a ‘poor relation’, a sort of companion to Margot. Well, what was I going to do otherwise? I did not have to be told that the school was in decline. People were going to blame me for Margot’s indiscretion andl was it true that they were hinting that I had tried to trap Joel Derringham into marriage? The dressmaker would know of the dresses my mother had had made; she had probably been shown the dress lengths in the cupboard. I had a new horse that I might ride with Joel. Oh, I could guess what these people were saying.

Desperately I longed for the calm guidance I could have had from my mother, and suddenly I knew that I could never be happy in this schoolhouse without her. There were too many memories. Everywhere I turned I could picture her so clearly.

I wanted to get away. Yes, the Comte was right, I would face the truth. The thought of going to France, of standing by Margot until her child was born, and then going to live in the Comte’s household excited me, drew me away from my sense of loss and grief more surely than I had thought anything could do.

No wonder I could not sleep.

All through the day I was absent-minded as I taught my classes. It had been so much easier when the pupils were divided between my mother and myself. She had taken the older ones and I could cope easily with the younger. Before I had taken on the role of teacher she had managed quite well, but even she had said what a boon it was to have two of us. She had been a born teacher. I was something less than that.

All through the day I thought of the opportunity which was being offered to me, and it began to seem like an adventure which could restore my interest in life.

When school was over Margot called. She threw herself into my arms and hugged me.

“Oh, Minelle, you are coming with me, then! It does not seem half as bad if you are going to be there. Papa told me. He said: ” Mademoiselle Maddox will take care of you. She is thinking about it but I have no doubt that she will come. ” I felt happier than I have for a long time.”

It’s by no means settled,” I told her. I have not yet made up my mind.”

“But you will come, won’t you? Oh, Minelle, if you say No, what shall I do?”

“I am not really necessary to the plan. You will go away quietly into the country where your child will be born and put out to foster parents. From there you will go to your father’s household and carry on from there. It is not an uncommon story in families like yours, I believe.”

“Oh, so coo’ll So precise! You are just what I need. But Minelle, dear, dear Minelle, I shall have to go through life with this dark, dark secret. I shall need support. I shall need you. Papa says you are to be my cousin. Cousine Minelle! Does that not sound just right? And after this horrible business is over we shall be together. You are the only reason I like it here.”

“What about James Wedder?”

“Oh, that was fun for a while, but look what it brought me to. It is not as bad as I feared it might be. I mean Papa … he was thunderous at first… despising me … and it was not for having an affaire, you know. It was because I had been so foolish as to become pregnant. He said he might have known I had a touch of the wanton in me. But if you will only come with me, Minelle, it will be all right.

I know it will. You will come . you must. “

She had got to her knees and folded her hands together as in prayer.

“Please, please. God, make Minelle come with me.”

“Get up and don’t be so silly,” I said.

“This is not the time for histrionics.”

She went into peals of laughter which was, I commented, scarcely becoming to a fallen woman.

“I need you, Minelle,” she cried.

“You make me laugh. So serious .. and yet not really so. I know you, Minelle. You try to play the schoolmistress, but you could never be a real one. That’s what I always believed. Joel was a fool. My father said he is stuffed with sawdust… not good red blood.”

Why should he say that about Joel? “

“Because he went away when Papa Derringham said he must. Papa sneers at that.”

“Does he sneer at you for going where he sends you?”

That is different. Joel was not pregnant. ” The laughter bubbled up again. I could not make up my mind whether this was hysteria or sheer fecklessness. But I felt my spirits lifted by her inconsequential conversation. Moreover, when she implored me to go with her, there was real panic in her eyes.

“I can bear it all if you are there,” she said more seriously.

“It will be fun . , . almost. I’ll be the young married lady whose husband has died suddenly. My staid cousin-English, but still a cousin due to a mesalliance years ago is with me to look after me.

She is just the right one to do it because she is so calm and cool and a little severe. Oh Minelle, you will come. You must. “

“Margot, I still have to think. It is a big undertaking and I have not yet made up my mind.”

“Papa will be furious if you refuse.”

“His feelings are no concern of mine.”

But they are of mine. At the moment he is making light of the matter.

That is because he has a solution and you are part of it. You will come, Minelle. I know you will. If you don’t I shall die of despair.”

She chattered on, her eyes sparkling. She was not a bit afraid, she said, if I would come with her. She talked as though we were about to embark on some wonderful holiday together. It was foolish, but I began to catch her excitement.

I knew perhaps I had known all along that I was going to accept this challenge. I must escape from this house, become so gloomy with the light of my mother’s presence removed from it; I must get away from the vaguely menacing shadow of poverty which was beginning to encroach. But it was like taking a step into the unknown.

I dreamed again that night that I was standing outside the schoolhouse, but it was not the familiar scene I saw there. Ahead of me lay a wood the trees thick together. I believed it was an enchanted wood and I was going to walk through it. Then I saw the Comte. He was beckoning to me.

I awoke. Certainly I had made up my mind.