The Fellowship

Chapter 9

The aroma of the strongly brewed coffee acted like a homing device to the sleep-deprived surgeon as she made her way to the doctors’ lounge, adjacent to the O.R. locker room. She knew this was the most powerful coffee within the entire complex and she was desperate to stay awake after the long night of monitoring the critically injured trauma patient. It was close to noon and still there was no word of any family members or next of kin for her patient. She hated to think that there was no one in the world that would care whether or not the young man even existed. She made a mental note to get in touch with the social worker and see if there was any progress in the case, but first she would get her cup of caffeine enriched coffee. Her mind drifted to thoughts of her bed at Danni’s house and she found herself envying the nurse for only having to work twelve hour shifts, unlike the thirty-six hours that her night of call held for her. ‘She’ll be fast asleep by now.’ She looked at her watch. It registered as eleven hundred hours in her military mind.

She reached out for the door handle only to have it swing open towards her. Her forward momentum halted as she saw a haggard figure before her. The rumpled and unshaven man was none other than her colleague, Rene Chabot. His eyelids barely open, he tilted his head back to view the obstacle in front of him. After a long moment, he recognized the tall, raven-haired figure as his replacement for the trauma team the previous day. Too tired to speak, he grinned from ear to ear, the way all new fathers do, and held up his hand showing two fingers raised side by side. His nervous giggle was all that was needed to realize that the arrival of twins had taken him by surprise also. So much for modern medicine and being able to predict with any certainty the number and gender of the fetuses, but then again, it may have been their choice not to know ahead of time.

Garrett found herself grinning at the man, nodding her head approvingly. Reaching out, she patted his shoulder, "Everybody is healthy?" The man’s head nodded in affirmation. "If your wife is resting comfortably upstairs, Rene, what are you still doing here?"

"I just don’t want to leave them. My family," his smile grew in size, "I have a family to watch over." He grasped her free hand with one of his, while placing the other around her waist. Suddenly he was humming a lullaby and dancing with her right in the hallway. For his tired looking condition, he was light on his feet, moving them swiftly around the corridor. When his humming stopped, he bowed to his dance partner. Looking directly into her eyes, Rene spoke. "You have no idea what it is like having a family. My world is finally complete and full of joy. How can I ever thank you for allowing me the pleasure of seeing my children being born into the world?"

Her mind flashed memories of the last time she had seen her parents and a tear began to form in her eyes. Struggling to keep the tears at bay, she leaned toward the man while whispering into his ear. "Don’t let a day go by without telling them that you love them, Rene. That’ll be enough payment for me." She moved back from him physically while her eyes continued to convey her message.

The new father could sense that her words were spoken from the realm of her heart and let her know that he would indeed heed them. "I will, Garrett. Not a day will go by without all the members of my family knowing the love that I have for them."

She coughed, trying to clear her throat, "Now you better get some sleep so that you can see them grow big and strong." She stepped back to allow him to pass by. Advancing once again to the door and opening it, she could hear him call out to her, "Thanks, again."

Her eyes quickly checked the small lounge for signs of any inhabitants. Seeing no one, the emotionally drained woman stood with her head buried in her hands. It wasn’t often that she felt like this, but with the lack of sleep and the loss of several patients in the last 24 hours it could be expected. Her thoughts turned to Rene and his new family as she offered a prayer to keep them safe from any misfortune the world could throw at them. She reached out, taking a Styrofoam cup in her hand. ‘Damn you and your babies Rene! You should have been the one last night to get that family.’ Her hand flexed then contracted sharply smashing the cup in her hand. ‘Why me? I’ve already had my fill.’ Her eyes narrowed and she crumpled the cup even more before she throw it at the trash can next to the table. She walked away from the table and stood staring at the ceiling trying to calm herself. Finally pulling herself together, she returned to the table with the coffee urn and filled another Styrofoam cup. Coddling it in her hands, she made her way over to the soft leather couch. Sipping the black, unsweetened coffee, she tried to bring her mind back to the problems at hand. Perhaps if she closed her eyes, the task would become easier. Much to her surprise, all it brought to her was some very needed sleep. She allowed herself to go willingly into its arms as the dreams of a much simpler life overtook her.

"I love you," the woman bent down and kissed the young boy on the cheek. She adjusted his sweater and winked at him. Then turning to her daughter, "and you, young lady, watch after your brother. He’s the only one you have," she teased. The woman tucked a strand of loose hair behind her daughter’s ear; "I love you, too!" She leaned in to kiss the girl’s forehead. "Now, off to school, the both of you."

"Come on," the girl coaxed. "Keep up with me or we’ll be late again like yesterday." The pace was already being set as her long legs carried her down the walk. The small boy struggling in double time to match her strides.

"Garrett! Garrett! You keep up that pace and you’ll end up carrying him most of the way," her mother cautioned.

The tall child turned around with a lopsided grin at the words her mother had spoken. "I’m strong, I can carry him. I’ll never leave him behind."

The woman shook her head in delight at the playful nature of her daughter.

"Garrett, wait up for him. Garrett, do you hear me?"

"Garrett, wake up." Dr. Kreger spoke again, "Garrett, do you hear me?"

One heavy eyelid slid open to the harsh assault of the light that filled the room. Her mind had to be playing tricks on her. She could have sworn that her mother was calling out her name.

"Garrett!" Rob’s voice became a little harsher as he tried to arouse the woman out of sleep. "We’ve been looking all over for you. We have some family members that want to see you." His hand gently shook her arm. "Garrett!" Deciding that it was time for drastic measures, he yelled and nudged her violently, "Your patient is crashing!"

Dark eyebrows shot sky high on her forehead pulling her eyelids wide open revealing intense blue orbs. With a move as swift as a bolt of lightning, she was standing next to him, her hand grasping the material of his lab coat, "Which one?" The adrenaline pumping at maximum capacity through her body was like that of a caged panther waiting for the gate to open.

He now rethought his decision. By the look of intensity on the tall surgeon’s face, Rob knew immediately that he had chosen the wrong manner to awaken the sleeping woman. This woman was definitely someone that could scare the living daylights out of the most virile of men. He closed his eyes and gulped as he made a mental note to check his shorts for soilage after he calmed her down. That was, if he could calm her down. Wincing, he readied himself for her wrath. "No one. No one is crashing," he uttered.

The surging electric blue of her eyes searched deep into the windows of his soul. "What do you mean, no one is crashing? You just said that my patient…"

"I lied!" He was unable to return her gaze. "I had to get you to wake up. I’m sorry but nothing else seemed to arouse you." He sighed as her hold released. "I’ll know better next time." He assured her. "It’s just that we have been trying to get a hold of you for a while now."

Garrett looked down at her pager. She must have slept through the pages, and by the number of them, she guessed that it had been a long time that she had been dead to the world. "I must have fallen asleep," she remembered vaguely sipping on the cup of coffee. She looked down on the nearly full cup of black coffee waiting for her return on the small table next to the couch where she had placed it. "So what’s up that you’ve been trying to reach me?" She tried to wipe the sleepiness from her tired eyes as she twisted and turned her neck as if to work a kink out of it.

"The social worker was finally able to get in touch with a family member for that young boy from last night." Rob bit at his lip thoughtfully, "I knew that you would want to be the one to talk to them."

The somber look on her face and the slight nod of her head was enough of a reply for Dr. Kreger. "They should be here any minute. I told them that we would meet them in the family room outside of the Neuro-ICU."

She glanced at her watch, "Let me just splash some water on my face and I’ll meet you there in a few minutes." Garrett turned to move toward the locker room area.

"I am sorry that I had to wake you like that." Rob felt compelled to apologize again. "I’ll see you up there in a few."

"It’s okay, Rob, you did what you had to do. Given the situation, I would have done the same thing. Don’t ever apologize if it helps the patient."

He looked at her funny saying, "But how can we help the patient? He’s brain dead."

Her eyes once again pinned him. "We’ll help the patient through the family’s understanding and coming to terms with the loss. Sometimes that is all you can do."

Kreger accepted her words, knowing that she was right. Dealing with the family could very well be considered part of the healing process. It was times like this that he thought about how very little he did know, but he was glad to have been placed in the presence of such a remarkable teacher. His head nodded in agreement. "I’ll see you upstairs," he said as he made his way to the door.

*****************

The hallway outside of the Neuro-ICU was silent reflecting the serious nature of the area. Most patients here were immediately post-operative, remaining only a day or two until they would be transferred to a regular Neurosurgical floor. Then, there were the others. Those who were not well enough to be weaned off of a ventilator or those who would soon die from the total lack of brain function. The color scheme of the area reflected the neutrality. It was an area that could run the gamut of emotions from extreme happiness to that of severe depression all hinging on the words spoken.

The social worker stood waiting in the hall, her brown, unruly hair constantly getting in her way. It was not long enough to put behind her ears and too long not to fall into her vision or face with each movement of her head. The suit that she wore gave her an air of business as she presented herself, standing to her full five foot seven inches of height. She glanced at her watch only to check on the time. It was 3:58 P.M. and once again her hopes were rising with the sound of the elevator’s ding.

With the doors parting slowly, the figure of a man departing the elevator became apparent. The crisp white lab coat had a military look to it with the finely detailed starched lines running down the sleeves. He checked his lapel to assure that his I.D. was in place. In his hand he carried a manila envelope full of forms that would be needed for the family’s signature, if they would decide to donate the usable organs for transplantation. He slowed as he came upon the social worker and introduced himself, "Hi! My name is Mark Crawford, I’m with C.O.R.E." He offered her his hand.

"Alexia," she shook his hand. "I’m the social worker. Nice to meet you, Mr. Crawford." She smiled at him to conceal the eerie feeling she always got when meeting with anyone from the organ recovery team. It always made her think she was dealing with someone out of a Frankenstein novel, the grave robbers to be truthful. Alexia never gave these people her full name, nor would she let them call her by the name that her friends did, it was her mechanism of distancing herself from them.

He smiled courteously at her as his eyes strayed over to the door of the Family Room. "Have the doctors spoken to them yet?" His head motioned toward the door, his eyes eager for her answer.

"No, that’s who I’m waiting on now." Her face tensed a little, "Dr. Trivoli was tied up in a case for a while. She should be here any minute."

He looked at her with a puzzled face. "Trivoli, she must be new. I don’t recognize her name."

Alex was pleased that her friend Danni’s roommate was not one who would make Crawford’s presence necessary that often. For that, she was thankful. "No, actually she’s been here since July. She’s one of our Trauma Fellows."

"She must be pretty good or just lucky to be on when the traumas are not that bad," he joked.

"I think that I would bet on good, Mr. Crawford." The voice was confident as Rob Kreger walked over to them from the Neuro-ICU. "If I were you, I’d enjoy this meeting with her today."

"And why is that?" Crawford demanded.

"I don’t believe you will be seeing a lot of her in the future. That’s why." Rob let his face show a smug appearance. Hearing the elevator announcing it’s arrival to the floor, he gazed over to the opening doors, "Here she is now."

The tall, stalwart figure appeared to have an aura around her as the bright fluorescent lighting of the elevator contrasted to that of the muted mood lighting of the hallway as she stood in the doorway. Her facial features remained undistinguishable until the doors closed behind her, allowing the dim lighting to give her well-defined features a softening appearance. The power and grace of her moves as she walked down the hall towards them brought to mind the stalking qualities of a panther. If she had meant to impress anyone, she was indeed fulfilling that wish.

Rob and Alex both watched as the surgeon cast a spell over Mark Crawford. They saw his look go from one of utter annoyance with her luck, to that of disbelief at her ability to bring him to his knees. Glistening beads of perspiration were gathering across his forehead the closer to him that she came. His lower lip was noticeably quivering, as his mouth became agape. The man’s eyes seemed to be the only things moving on him with any purpose at all as they wandered up and down her long body. Yes, he was definitely hers for the asking.

Alex’s voice broke the solemn exchange of stares as she introduced the two to each other. "Dr. Trivoli, this is Mark Crawford from the Organ Recovery Team," she paused momentarily. "Mr. Crawford, this is Trauma Fellow Garrett Trivoli."

Garrett eyed the lecherous man as she drew her hand out of the pocket of her lab coat. "Mr. Crawford," she greeted him, offering her hand.

His hand nervously smoothed the buttons of his lab jacket. Gulping audibly he took her hand in his, "The pleasure is definitely all mine." Bringing her hand towards his mouth he gingerly placed a kiss on the back of it as he held her fingers in his.

The surgeon’s eyebrow edged upward into her hairline as her eyes narrowed. If looks could indeed kill, the cold steel color of her eyes would have penetrated his heart, and this man in front of her would be the next trauma page going off on her beeper. She tugged at her hand, not wanting him to think that she was actually enjoying his attempt at flirting with her.

"I believe you said that the family was here?" Garrett was professional in her manner as she addressed Alex. She withdrew her hand, placing it in her lab coat pocket, trying as she might to position it in such a way as to allow the absorbent material to erase the moisture of his kiss. "Yes, the only family member that we could find is here." Alex turned to face Garrett directly. "I found out the man that was DOA was David Morgan, the woman who died in the O.R. was his wife, Rita."

"The boy in ICU now, was he related to them?" Crawford was obviously edgy, waiting for her reply.

"Their son, Bradley," was all that she said seeing the disappointment in his face.

"How old was he? Did he have a driver’s license on him?" His only concern was that the young man had checked off the Organ Donor box on his driver’s license.

"Sorry, he isn’t old enough to even have a learner’s permit," Alex said apologetically.

"Hmmm! Is it a grandparent then?" His tone was insistent.

Tired of the interrogation that the social worker was under, Dr. Trivoli spoke up. "Why don’t you introduce me to the family member. I’d like to discuss my patient’s," she paused to correct herself, "Bradley’s condition with them."

Alex was appreciative for the intrusion in the line of questioning. "Allow me to do that right now. Dr. Kreger, Dr. Trivoli, if you would come with me." She purposely ushered them to the door of the Family Room, leaving a disappointed but still hopeful Mark Crawford standing alone.

Garrett looked through the narrow panel of glass in the door viewing the occupants of the Family Room. There was a woman, whom she guessed to be in her early forties, and two teenage girls.

With her hand on the doorknob, Alex looked at Garrett, then at Rob; "You ready for this?"

Rob’s eyes flashed to his mentor. Seeing the calmness in her, he nodded his head. The surgeon inhaled deeply and nodded saying, "As ready as I’ll ever be."

The door opened and the three walked single file into the small room.

There was an incredible tenseness in the air as the hospital personnel formed a tight semi-circle in front of the three women. The emotionless faces were nothing but a mask for the pleading eyes of hopefulness that watched them intently, waiting for the deafening silence to be broken. The older woman rested her arm on the shoulder of the smaller teen while the other teen quickly flanked her on the opposite side.

Alex cleared her throat and began. "My name is Alexia, I’m the social worker that you spoke to on the phone. This is Dr.Trivoli and Dr. Kreger." She motioned to each as she said their name.

"Hello, I’m Marianne Gryphon," the older woman introduced herself. She gently touched the far teen with her hand saying, "This is my daughter, Kristen and her friend Diana Morgan."

Garrett studied the small teen. She couldn’t be any older than perhaps seventeen, her brown hair pulled back into a barrette accentuated the worried look on her face. She looked like the typical girl next door, young and full of life.

"When we took Diana home from the sleep-over last night, we found the message on the answering machine. We thought that it was kind of funny that the rest of the family wasn’t at home. Are they alright?" The woman was genuinely concerned.

"Are you a relative, Ms. Gryphon?" The social worker so desperately hoped that she was.

Sighing loudly, "No. No, I am not." She looked at the teen; "Diana is the only relative that I know of."

Struggling to control her emotions, Garrett blinked back a tear as she reached out to the small girl. ‘Rene, you owe me big time for this.’ "Diana, why don’t we have a seat over here." She moved them in the direction of the comfortable looking couch along the far wall. Once seated she continued, "Does your family own a sport utility vehicle?"

The young girl stared at her, "Yes." Her eyes were searching the doctor’s face for some indication of her loved ones’ condition. The build up of tears was like that of a dam ready to overflow.

Garrett glanced at her co-workers briefly before she took the young girl’s hand in hers. "Your parents and your brother were involved in a very serious motor vehicle accident last night. Your mother and brother were brought to this hospital by helicopter straight from the accident scene. Diana, the rescue workers at the scene, Dr. Kreger, and myself did everything that we possibly could to save your parents but their injuries were just too extensive to sustain life."

"NO!" The girl cried out in anguish. "They can’t be. They just haven’t come home yet. It’s not them!" She turned, pulling her hands away from Garrett’s and then balled them into fists. She lunged at the surgeon next to her while her arms flung wildly in denial. "You…you let them die!" The torment of her soul was evident. "You didn’t even try to help them, did you?"

Garrett backed away, her mind reeling from the sudden outburst of anger shown toward her. Ms. Gryphon came from behind Diana and tried to stop her emotional display. The sobbing soon took over the girl as her words became more garbled and unintelligible. Diana stood up. She turned into her friend’s mother and clung to her body for support. She needed to be comforted and by the intensity of the outburst in Garrett’s direction, that would not come from her. The surprised surgeon never liked doing the sensitive things connected with her job, but now, this was even worse. ‘I don’t know how to deal with this. I…I…’ she thought about all of the many times she had witnessed the rich flow of compassion oozing forth from Danni in the trauma suite or with the members of a family in the hallway. ‘God, I wish she was here doing this. She’d know how to handle this girl.’

Garrett was afraid that the situation would escalate into one of sheer hostility, all directed at her.

Diana stared into space, tears spilling over her eyelashes and rolling down her cheeks. After several moments, the words slowly came to her voice. "My brother, Brad, is he okay?" Her eyes now stared into the doctor’s, looking for the truth. "Or are you going to kill him, too?"

"Your brother is in the Neuro-ICU with head injuries. The assault on his brain from the impact of the vehicles has left him unable to breathe on his own. We are breathing for him with the help of a mechanical respirator." Garrett held her eye fixed to Diana’s as she allowed time for this information sink in. ‘She doesn’t trust me. I can see it in her eyes.’

"Will he get any better?" she asked, almost knowing what the answer would be.

The surgeon lowered her eyes to the ground and very quietly said, "No, we believe his injuries to be fatal in nature."

"Do all of the doctors believe this, or just you?" Her voice was like a venom spat in Garrett’s direction.

Rob Kreger now spoke up. "If you don’t think that Dr. Trivoli or myself gave every effort…"

Garrett turned abruptly, her eyes sending forth a message of complete control when they locked onto the vocal Chief Resident. "I’m sure if Ms. Morgan wants to talk to another Doctor, we can arrange that." Her eyes flashed her anger at her outspoken colleague. She was trying hard not to provoke any more confrontation than was necessary.

Diana’s head dropped and the sobbing began. She broke away from her friend’s mother. She strode over to the couch falling into it and slowly curled into a ball, her body shaking relentlessly with each round of tears. Her world as she had known it for all of her life was at an end, never to be the same again.

Marianne held onto her daughter now fearing if she left go she would somehow disappear. The color drained out of her face and the look of desolation was in her eyes. "They’re gone." Mrs. Gryphon shook her head in disbelief as she clutched on to her own daughter even tighter than before. Her eyes closed in thanksgiving that it was not Kristen living through this tragedy. She looked to Alex, "What is going to happen to Diana now?" Biting at her lower lip she pondered the thought. "She doesn’t have any living relatives, at least that we know of." She looked at her daughter for reassurance. Kristen’s reply was a slow shake of her head.

Garrett sat down again next to the grief-stricken girl. Pulling a tissue from her pocket, she offered it to Diana and waited for the sobbing to diminish. The girl pulled away further into the corner of the couch, not wanting to have any physical connection with the surgeon. In Garrett’s own mind, scenes from her life tugged at her emotions as she remembered how things were, so many years ago.

The small antiseptic smelling room where the lighting had been just as harsh as the words that the doctor had said to her, "They’re dead," engulfed her senses. The words echoing in her brain over and over again. Everywhere she turned, they all had the same somnolent faces. No one offered her any reasons or causes, not even an excuse, just nothing but the stark fact that they were gone forever.

She found herself leaning in toward the teen to speak, "Would you like to see your brother?" Her words were kind as her eyes searched for an answer in the red swollen orbs that peered up at her, the hate evident toward her. "He has a tube in his mouth that goes down his throat to breathe for him. There will be a lot of intravenous lines that are giving him fluids and medicine. The electrical devices that enable us to monitor his body functions will take up the better part of the room." Garrett attempted to paint a reasonable picture of what the girl would see. The last thing that she wanted was to frighten her even more or to give her any false hope of his condition.

The young girl wiped her eyes, "Could I, please?" Her voice was shaky and weak.

"Dr. Kreger, would you call into the ICU and tell them that Diana would like to visit her brother?"

Rob set about to his task of clearing the way for the entourage to enter the ICU, without being subjected to any undue strain from viewing the other patients or procedures that might be going on. When everything was set, he called into the Family Room on the dedicated phone line, informing the social worker of the time available for visitation.

The group made their way into the unit. Stopping at the nurse’s desk right inside the door, Dr. Trivoli reviewed Bradley Morgan’s chart. His condition remained the same. There were no voluntary movements or responses to deep painful stimulus. The extent of his injuries was quite clear in her mind. She would be talking to the neurosurgeon after Diana was done visiting, and ask that a brain death protocol be ordered. Putting the chart down, she motioned for them to follow her to his bedside.

The young girl walked over to the tall surgeon who held out a gown for her to put on. Donning her own gown quickly, she accompanied her across the room to the cubicle where her brother’s body lay, supported by a multitude of machines. The roaming eyes of the teen took in every detail of the room, her eyes darting from one noise to another as the machines did their job.

Garrett watched as the teen finally settled in on her brother’s face, a tear rolling down her own cheek. "You can talk to him if you’d like, Diana."

Her voice was barely above a whisper, "Could I touch his hand?" She looked up to the surgeon, her eyes pleading for approval.

"I think he would like that." Her head motioned to the body laying in repose. She watched as Diana made her way to the bedside. She hesitated as she reached out for his hand, looking over her shoulder for encouragement. Garrett nodded in approval. The young girl stroked his small hand with her own and soon was leaning over to talk ever so softly into his ear.

The surgeon studied the scene intently looking for any sign of recognition on Brad’s part. His eyes never fluttered, the muscles in his face never twitched, the hand remained still as if it had never been touched. Her keen sense of hearing listened for any change in the rhythm of the beeping noise emitted from the heart monitor, but there was none. In essence, the body before her was nothing more than an empty shell devoid of all the nuances that denote life.

After several minutes, she bent over and kissed her brother’s forehead. Slowly she backed away from the bed until she was standing next to the tall woman. Her eyes never wavered from watching him; "He looks so peaceful."

A minute or two passed by before the silence was broken. "Does he feel anything?" Diana looked up at Garrett, "He’s not in pain, I mean?"

"No, we’re giving him some medication to make sure of that," she responded.

"So, what’s next?" Her young voice had vagueness about it. "Does he just go on like this forever?"

The surgeon thought about what to say. "There is a group of tests that we will do on your brother that will tell us whether or not there is any activity going on in his brain. If they result in showing no brain activity then we can declare him brain dead and remove the ventilator. After a few minutes, his heart will stop beating and his other organs will cease to function." She tried to lessen the impact as much as she could.

"When?" She stuttered, "When will that happen?"

"We should know by tomorrow around noon," Garrett projected. "If you would like, you could be here with him, if that is what we need to do."

The girl nodded her head in agreement. Sighing, she hung her head and muttered. "Will you be here too? Yeah, I bet you like seeing people die."

Her eyes flashed at the surgeon with all the hatred that she could muster. "I bet you just love to see people’s whole lives get thrown right in the toilet before your eyes. It makes you feel all high and mighty, doesn’t it? You all think that you’re gods."

The surgeon grasped tightly onto the bed rail with both her hands. She really wanted to lash out at this for her taunting ways but knew that it would only provoke more of the same. "I will but only because I have to be. He’s my patient, Diana, not some experiment."

Diana turned to face her. "Well, at least you realize that he’s my brother and I’m not going to just throw him away." She saw her friend off in the distance behind the doctor. "I better get back with my friend now. I have some things that I need to sort out." She turned to look at her brother for a moment, then turning back to the surgeon she glared. The two stood that way for a moment before Diana slowly walked in the direction of Kristen and her mother, continuing to pass them on her way out of the door.

Garrett watched her leave with the Gryphons following right behind her. Cursing to herself for not being able to save the girl from the pain and anguish she was going through, she ran her fingers through her long raven hair in desperation. ‘Danni, why couldn’t you have been here?’

*****************

The sound of the front door opening caught Danni’s attention. She placed her plate in the dishwasher and made her way into the living room.

"Garrett, is that you?" She came around the corner of the hall to see the haggard appearance of her roommate. "Want happened to you?" She came over to her and took the duffel bag from her hand. "Didn’t you get any sleep at all?" Concern was written all over her face.

"Yeah, a few hours," she leaned against the couch to take off her shoes. "But not very comfortable, to say the least. I fell asleep in the doctor’s lounge in the O.R." Her hand rubbed at her back to ease the soreness. "I think I’m just going to take a hot bath and go to bed."

The petite woman could not believe how tired her Amazon looked. "You want something to eat?"

"Thanks, but no, I ate at the hospital. I just need to relax and get a lot of sleep."

"Well, let me start your bath for you." Danni went into the bathroom and turned on the water for the tub. Emerging from the doorway, she came back into the living room. "How about I fix you a nice cup of tea. Hmmm?"

Garrett nodded and muttered the word, "Thanks," as Danni passed by on her way to the kitchen, her energy waning.

Calling in from the kitchen, Danni asked, "Did they find any family for that young trauma patient yet?"

Garrett waited for her return, too tired to yell back. "Yeah, turns out the only family so far is his sister." She looked up at her roommate. "She’s only seventeen."

"Oh, by the gods!" She sat down on the couch. "She must be devastated."

"She’s doing better than some that I have seen. Tomorrow’s going to be the hard one."

Danni looked puzzled.

"I ordered the brain death protocol. We’ll know for sure by noon tomorrow." The surgeon rolled her tongue across her teeth; "I told her that I would be there with her tomorrow when it’s time."

The blonde sighed. "I wish I could have been there with you today. I know how much you like doing the sensitive chats."

"Yeah, well..."

"Garrett, I’m off for the next two days. Let me be there with you tomorrow?"

"Thanks, but you don’t have to, Danni." The surgeon rose to her feet. "I better get that bath before I fall asleep right here." She thought about the offer as she walked to the bathroom. Pausing at the door, she said. "Maybe that might not be a bad idea. I’ll see you about noon tomorrow in the Neuro-ICU."

After the time spent soothing her tired muscles with the heat of the water, the tall woman stole herself quietly into her bedroom. There on the corner of her nightstand was a cup of hot tea. ‘I’ll have to remember to thank her for this. It’s nice to have someone who cares,’ she mused. Letting her robe fall off of her body into a heap on the floor, she slid under the covers that had been neatly turned down for her. Taking a few sips of tea from the cup, she placed it back on the table and readied herself for sleep.

*****************

She had always prided herself on keeping her word and now as she mulled over the events of the last two days, the surgeon was not looking forward to what was about to take place within the next hour or so. It was her day off technically, but she had promised to be here with Brad’s sister Diana when the time came. Sure, she could have put it off for another day, but somehow that just didn’t seem right, to make the poor girl agonize over the potential outcome of the tests. Besides, she didn’t want to add to the young girl’s burden by causing any hassles over the payment of the hospitalization by the insurance company.

Garrett sipped at her cup of black coffee as she was looking over the reports of the tests that she had ordered on Bradley Morgan. The EEG test, which measured the activity of the brain, was plain and to the point; no activity found. The other test reports were all in alignment with the neurosurgeon’s prognosis at the sight of the initial CT Scan. Now it was going to be her job to help Diana grasp the concept that her brother didn’t really inhabit the body that was being kept alive in the ICU. There really was no life force present, only the mechanical initiative that preserved the body in its vegetative state.

The surgeon rested her head in her hands as she contemplated the course of changes that the life of Diana Morgan was going to encounter. She sighed knowing full well that this was not the way her parents would have wished for her life to be. Unfortunately, there was nothing Garrett could do about it except to give the support and guidance that she would need in the next few hours. The surgeon felt absolutely helpless at the outcome of her efforts.

The small windowless office seemed to be closing in on her as she raised her head out of her hands and looked around. She had been so preoccupied with her thoughts that she had not heard the knock at the door. The motion of the door slowly opening and the appearance of the blonde hair brought her back to reality.

Knocking again on the open door, Danni peered in at the woman seated behind the desk. "Hey," she smiled, "mind if I come in?"

The answer was evident by the lopsided smile on the surgeon’s face at the sight of her friend. "Yeah, I was hoping that you’d be a little early."

The petite woman slipped in the door as she studied the room. "I guess you don’t spend too much time in here." The nurse knew how claustrophobic the tall woman could be at times.

Garrett chuckled slightly, "Every free minute that I get." She was being sarcastic with her reply. "Have a seat." She motioned to the small chair that was behind the door. She waited for the door to close all the way. Gathering the papers that were spread out across her desk into a neat pile, she offered them to the nurse. "Care to read the results?"

"By the look on your face when I stuck my head in, I don’t think that I have to." Danni shifted her position in the chair. "Did you tell his sister yet?"

"No, I just got done reviewing them myself." She placed the stack of reports on the desk. "Danni," she hesitated biting her lower lip. "I’d appreciate it if you would help me with this one."

The nurse sensed the apprehension in Garrett’s voice. Something about this case was really bothering her but Danni knew enough about her friend not to push for answers. "Sure, anything that I can do to help, just let me know." She watched as the tense look on the surgeon’s face relaxed.

"Thanks, I really want to be as gentle and considerate as I can on this one. She’s got a lot on her plate right now and being so young." She took a deep breath, "Well, it could affect her for the rest of her life. I don’t want to let her feel any remorse about what has to be done. She doesn’t need to be haunted with this tragedy any more than she is already." Garrett closed her eyes at the thought, a pained look over taking her face.

Danni felt compelled to reach out to her friend. She was certain that this was affecting the surgeon more than usual. She knew that Garrett was not one for talking about herself or her childhood, and now seeing this, she was sure that there was a reason why. She let her hand gently rest on the edge of the desk with her fingers flexing. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Crystal blue eyes shot to attention as her lids opened wide then slowly narrowed settling on Danni. "There’s nothing to talk about," she snapped.

Her face had taken on a new hard look to her usually pleasant features.

Sensing that she had touched on an exposed nerve, Danni backed off.

"Sorry, I only meant to help," she apologized. "If you ever…" her voice trailed off abruptly with the intense look that she was receiving from her friend.

The surgeon cleared her throat trying to choke back the cry that was readying to escape from her. She let her gaze drift away from her friend to hide the well of tears that were threatening to overflow. Having successfully reigned in her emotions she pushed herself away from the desk and stood up. "Let’s get this over with," her face expressing no emotions as she rounded the corner of the desk, advancing toward the door.

Danni watched in amazement as she witnessed the surgeon fighting back her emotional turmoil and reinstating her mask of professional facade. This sight saddened the young woman’s heart. Her friend was hurting and she could do nothing but be ready for the time when Garrett would allow her into that secret place where her tortured soul dwelled.

The nurse followed her friend, reluctantly, out of the office. Pausing as she closed the door, she offered up a silent prayer. ‘She’s hurting so badly. Please, if there is any god that ameliorates the healers, let me act as your instrument to help her soul find peace within herself.’ Sighing deeply, she turned and followed the surgeon to the Neuro-ICU area.

******************

A young girl peered out of the safety window in the door of the family room. Her sullen eyes reflecting the scene before them. "Mom," she whispered to the woman who had just joined her there. "I don’t think it’s good news." She looked up to her mother for support.

Mrs. Gryphon observed the three women in the hall. She recognized Alexia and Dr. Trivoli from the day before. The third woman was new to her. She watched the grim looks that each one had on their faces and prepared for the worse. Resting her arm around her daughter’s shoulders, she glanced over at Diana sitting on the couch with her head buried in her hands. Sniffing back a tear, she squeezed Kristen and whispered gently in her ear, "I love you." The young girl smiled up at her and nodded. "We have to be strong for Diana now. Can you do that?" She nodded again then went to sit beside her friend.

Moving away from the door, Marianne took up a position nearer to the two young girls and waited for the trio to enter the room.

A few moments later the door opened with Alex leading the procession of sober faced professionals. Diana’s head raised out of her hands when she heard the sound of heels walking across the polished tile floor. The hopeful eyes of the young girl searched the faces as each one entered the room for the answer to the question ripping at her heart. Her mood went spiraling out of control as the petite blonde stepped in, closing the door behind her. Tears were streaking down her cheeks as Alexia greeted them. All her mind could think about was her brother and how he had been so full of life the last time she saw him outside of the hospital. Her eyes grew large as she picked out the tall surgeon and stared directly into her crystal orbs. The girl shivered seeing eyes staring back at her that were devoid of any emotions. Before any one had even spoken to her, Diana knew what was about to happen. Her hopes and dreams of the future were about to change for the rest of her life, for the second time in the last two days.

Garrett cleared her throat and began to slowly approach the young girl. "Diana," she paused motioning the petite nurse to come forward. "Let me introduce one of our trauma nurses to you. This is Danni, she was Brad’s nurse when he first arrived here the night before last." The surgeon’s eyes were gauging her response to the nurse. "Danni, this is Diana Morgan, Brad’s sister and her friend Kristen and Kristen’s mother Marianne Gryphon." She pointed to them as they were introduced.

The nurse used all of her skills as she came forward to greet the young girl. She brought herself to rest on the couch next to her and spoke in a soft, quiet manner. "I hope you don’t mind, Diana, but I asked my friend, Dr. Trivoli, if I could meet you today." She waited for a response but the young girl’s eyes were blanks. Danni looked around the room to the mother and her daughter, each one with only true concern written on their faces. The nurse tried a slightly different approach this time. "You know, little brothers can be a challenge to their older sisters, but deep within our hearts we love them dearly. When I was growing up, my brother was always teasing me and…"

The girl suddenly focused on the nurse sitting next to her. "You have a little brother too?" Her eyes were now coming to life as a common ground was found, linking the two women together.

"Yes," her warm smile bridging the space between them. "I know you love your brother just like I do mine, and that you only want the best of everything for him." She gently laid her hand on top of the arm. "That’s why I would like you to listen to what Dr. Trivoli has to tell you. Okay?"

Diana sniffed as she wiped a tear from her cheek with the back of her hand. She blinked several times trying to contain the tears that were waiting for release and nodded in affirmation. Her attention now turned to the tall figure in front of her.

"We’ve gotten the results from the tests back." Garrett paused as she looked at the nurse for support. "They proved what we had speculated about the night he came in." Her eye caught Kristen glancing at her mother in anticipation. "I’ve studied the reports and have spoken with several colleagues of mine in reference to Brad’s prognosis. I’m sorry to say but there is no evidence of a recovery at this point in time. His body is not able to function on it’s own without the assistance of the machines. I was hoping that there would be some small chance, but I can’t even give you any glimmer of hope that he will ever be anything more than what you see in that bed today."

The young girl bit down on her lip. She looked over to Kristen and then slowly lifted her gaze to Mrs. Gryphon. "What…" she stuttered. "What happens now?" She turned to the nurse beside her, pleading for guidance. "How do I take care of my brother now?" A large tear found its way over her cheek as her hand reached out to grasp the hand of the nurse.

"You have to think of what is best for your brother now. How he would like his life to be." She held on to the girl’s hand, letting the compassion show in her face. Studying her face intently, "Would your brother have enjoyed his life like it is now?"

Her gaze drifted to the floor, as she answered shakily, "No." Then without warning her body stiffened and she rose abruptly. "But he’s my brother, damn it!" Her head turned quickly as she looked at the people around her, "I can’t just kill…" her voice trail off into a whisper, "him."

"Nobody is asking you to kill him, dear." Mrs. Gryphon spoke up.

Kristen tried helping, "You know that’s not really Brad in there."

Danni drew her attention back by touching the young girl’s arm. "They’re right, Diana. Your brother’s life force," she paused searching for a better explanation of it, "the essence that makes Brad different from anybody else just isn’t there any longer. All that you see is his body, the shell that housed his soul and gave direction to the energy that he was." Danni gazed into the young girl’s eyes and then slowly directed her to look over to the surgeon.

Sensing that it was her time to speak, Garrett started. "We just need to let his body go, Diana."

"But how…who?" Diana’s eyes grew bigger as her mind raced with the possibilities. "You don’t expect me to…" her eyes now darted around the room, the tears welling up and starting to fall. "You’re asking too much. I couldn’t…"

"Me," fighting a break in her voice not to be heard. "I’ll be the one to turn the machines off." The surgeon reassured her.

The girl thought about it for a moment. Looking to her friend’s mother for approval, she slowly nodded her head in agreement. Garrett closed her eyes and sighed. The decision was made. Now all she had to do was carry out the task.

"Would you like to see him before…?" Danni waited for her answer. The girl only shrugged her shoulders, and then thinking on it, shook her head. "That’s all right, Diana. If it were my brother, I think I would want to remember him at his happiest moment, full of life and loving everything in it. What did your brother love to do best?"

The girl thought for only a second. "It would be riding his bicycle. His racing helmet on and streaking across the top of the hill at the end of our street, the late afternoon sun at his back, that’s how I’ll remember him." A faint smile played upon her lips at the thought.

"Then that is the way you will see him. Remember him like that and you will never be far from his spirit." Danni instinctively meet the azure eyes of the surgeon and felt that her words had helped more than just Diana.

The subdued voice of the nurse seemed to wrap itself around Garrett’s soul. The silences of the moment allowed a fleeting glimpse of a tasseled haired boy come to Garrett’s mind. His youthful features covered with a smattering of sweat and dirt as he laughed holding up his prize catch, a rainbow trout.

The nurse watched as a serene look came over the face of the surgeon. She wasn’t sure what her friend was thinking about, but at least what she had said was helping her cope with the situation at hand, if not what she held in her past.

Alex breathed a sigh of relief knowing that the hard part, if only for her, was over. She had feared the worst out of the young girl who was being dealt a hard slap in the face by reality. The intense emotional scene that she expected had been averted by the combined effort of Danni and Garrett. For this she was truly grateful.

Diana walked over to Mrs. Gryphon. "I’d like to leave now." Her voice was even and unwavering.

The woman gathered both girls into her arms and hugged them equally. Looking back to the medical professionals she mouthed the words, "Thank You." She watched as each one accepted her appreciation. "Come on, let’s go home." With that, the small group made their way to the door and out of the hospital.

Danni sidled up to the tall surgeon who seemed to still be absorbed by her thoughts. She watched the expression on her friend change to one of confused questioning, as the surgeon became aware of her. "Ah…I’d like to be with you when you take him off." Her green eyes locked onto the blue orbs in a knowing plea to allow her to share this last service to her patient.

Garrett acquiesced. There was something about the petite nurse that made her feel better about the whole situation. Rubbing her chin in thought, she nodded. "Let’s go see to our patient’s needs one last time."

They left the confines of the small room. The slow procession traveled down the hall into the Neuro-ICU without a single word spoken. The anguish on each of their faces was the only lament to the task they were about to do. As they passed the nurses’ station, Alex left the formation to review the arrangements for the destination of Bradley Morgan’s remains.

The surgeon, now taking the lead, walked with purposeful strides through the unit to the cubicle where the young boy’s body was being maintained. She stood observing the array of mechanical support systems and sighed. ‘This is all that modern medicine can do. We can duplicate and maintain the bodily functions but we can’t give him back his soul,’ she mused. ‘I didn’t want this to ever happen to anyone else.’

She was presented with the boy’s chart. Taking it, she flipped it open reading the latest entry in the nurses’ charting area. ‘No new observations of any physical activity on the part of the patient noted.’ That one sentence said it all along with the results of the battery of tests she had received earlier. She handed the chart to the petite nurse, allowing her eyes to view that all-encompassing declaration, announcing the futility of any further hope for Bradley’s survival.

The surgeon closed her eyes in an effort to calm the anger that was building within her. Her mind was in a quandary as she remembered what her goal had been when she decided to become a doctor. The suffering was soon to be over for Brad, but in her mind she had been able to do nothing for his sister, Diana. It was happening again and she had no control over it this time either.

Her mind was forced back to her present physical surroundings, as she felt a warm touch upon her back, the heat of which seemed to bring comfort to her. She looked down at Danni trying to hide all of the emotions that were raging inside of her head. "Would you like to give it one last try?"

The green eyes twinkled with the thought. Hesitantly she nodded saying; "I’d like that. Thank you." The nurse went to the boy’s bedside talking to him in the same gentle manner as when he had first arrived in the trauma room. She placed his hand into hers and delicately stroked the back of it. Squeezing his hand with hers she watched for any signs of response. Looking over her shoulder at Garrett she shook her head, a disappointed look crossing her face.

She laid his hand back down and once again stared at his angelic face. She brushed back a straying lock of hair on his forehead, as she leaned in to place a light kiss on his cheek before coming back to stand with her friend.

Garrett looked around the unit and motioned for the nurse to close the drapery, shutting the cubicle off from view. It was time to let the young boy’s body take its leave without the stares of any visitors or other patients to distract from his final moments in human form. The surgeon swallowed hard, trying to settle her nervous stomach. Walking over to the ventilator, she reached out and pressed the toggle switch to the off position. She pressed her eyelids together and inhaled deeply, trying to keep the scene of a distant time from reappearing in her mind. Exhaling, she opened her eyes and watched the electronic devices showing the deterioration of the human body lying before her.

The patient’s nurse stood off to the side recording the time and vital signs prior to the termination of mechanical support as Danni braced herself for the events to come. It was always sad to watch the passing of a life before your very eyes, but Danni was no stranger to death, it went with the job of being a trauma nurse. The sadness today seemed to come from her friend and the demons that she was wrestling with. Something in this woman’s past had really affected her. Wishing that she would be able to help ease the surgeon’s mind, she resigned herself to the fact that she could do no more than just be here for her. With that thought in mind, she watched the tall woman for any clue of how she might help her deal with that pain.

It was a few moments now since the rhythmic sound of the respirator filled the room. The steady rise and fall of the boy’s chest had ceased and his form remained motionless. The constant beeping of the heart monitor was beginning to slow; the electronic tracing on the screen became wider and more irregular in its pattern. The reading of the recycling blood pressure monitor revealed a steady drop in his pressure.

The minutes ticked by. Garrett was transfixed on the devices watching the progressive widening complexes of the heartbeat. Long drawn out pauses of inactivity with only a single pattern was now showing across the screen, the single beep randomly breaking the silence of the room. Her eyes took on a new intensity as a rapid flurry of patterned activity shot across the screen, the beeping coming one right after the other, almost without pause. The jagged, erratic tracing soon ceased, followed by the telltale warning sound of the flat line tracing that floated across the monitor. They all stood just watching for another moment or two. Assured that it was over, Dr. Trivoli blinked as she glanced over to the large clock on the wall opposite her. In a monotone voice she uttered, "Time of death, 1310." She cleared her throat and looked at the two nurses. "Thank you for you help," she said in a voice only slightly louder than a whisper, and left the room.

"Is she okay?" The nurse moved toward the bed to begin removing the connections of the machines to the lifeless body.

Danni had to think about that herself. "I hope so," she uttered under her breath.

*******************

The rest of the day was spent in solitude as Garrett opted to drive out to the countryside. She needed time to think and did so, as she walked through the leaves that graced the woodland floor. Her mind kept conjuring up familiar faces from her past. Each one coming to haunt her in their own way. With dusk approaching, she drew her walk to a close and began the long drive back home. ‘Time to go home,’ she mused. ‘Even my thoughts are haunting me. Home,’ she laughed, ‘I’ll never have a place that feels like home, or anyone that feels like family ever again.’ The words bit into her, tearing at her soul. The image of the petite blonde came to her mind. This image was different from the rest that had visited her today. It did not haunt her, but instead brought with it a feeling of warmth and compassion. A feeling that made her yearn for the sights and smells that reminded her of the nurse. No one had ever stood out in her mind like that, not even her…. She paused at the thought. Her face took on a surprised look as her brow raised at the concept.

Continued