The Frenchman's Love-Child

CHAPTER EIGHT

TABBY imagined trying to fight Christien for custody of Jake and almost winced for she only had love to offer. She struggled to stay calm and make allowances for Christien’s anger with her while curiosity prompted her to say, ‘What exactly are your terms?’

Christien sent her a slashing smile as if she had already lain down at his feet and awarded him victory. She wanted to slap him so badly that her palm tingled with longing.

‘You and Jake move in with me-’

‘Move in?’ Tabby repeated. ‘Quantify “moving in” from my point of view.’

‘I get to buy you boxes of sexy lingerie and you get all the sex you can handle…as well as a lifestyle most women would envy.’

The tingle in Tabby’s palm had become almost unbearable. ‘What happens when you get bored?’

‘We remain civilised.’

‘I’m not civilised. Right now I just want to kill you for having the sheer nerve to suggest I would agree to a casual arrangement of that nature-’

‘Even though it is what you want too?’ Christien chided. ‘Why else did you choose to come to Brittany?’

‘I beg your pardon?’

‘You could’ve sold the cottage and never set foot here with our son. Instead you brought him to a property within three kilometres of Duvernay. Your choice of location speaks for itself, ma belle.’ Christien sent Tabby a knowing look that sent a tide of chagrined colour up into her cheeks at the same time as it made her want to scream at him in a very unladylike fashion. ‘It’s obvious that you were as eager to see me again as I was to see you-’

‘That is untrue!’ Tabby slung at him shrilly.

‘The first chance you got, you went to bed with me again.’

‘Drop dead, Christien.’ Tabby stalked past him.

‘Zut alors…the first chance I got, I went to bed with you too,’ Christien drawled. ‘Even being furious with you doesn’t stop me lusting after you every hour of the day!’

‘Every hour?’ Tabby queried involuntarily.

‘I even dream about you,’ he growled.

Tabby concealed the grin that had come at her out of nowhere. If lust was all he could feel, she was happy that it should be a source of hourly torment for him. But on that same thought, the desire to grin ebbed fast. Was it possible that she had cherished a subconscious hope that she could be with Christien again in Brittany? Did he know her better than she knew herself?

Whatever, she was in no position to consider an uncommitted relationship with Christien. Everything she did affected Jake and her son was already coping with big changes. In bringing him to France, she had taken him away from all that was familiar. However, she had made the decision to do that with a clear head and the belief that a fresh start would benefit both of them. All right, getting involved with Christien again had been foolish, but at least she could own up to her mistake and guard against repeating it. Jake would be terribly hurt if he got used to his parents being together and they broke up again. He would be damaged by yet another change of home and lifestyle. Their son needed to feel secure.

‘Us rushing into a relationship that might turn uncivilised within a few months would be very hard on Jake-’

‘I’m sure you’ll make a special effort to tell the truth at all times and avoid snogging guys on motorbikes,’ Christien murmured with sardonic cool.

‘I’d rather be with a bloke who didn’t think that he was so perfect that it was my job to make all the effort to make things work!’ Her green eyes were bright with defiance at his hurtful reminders of her own mistakes, for she was furious that he took no account of his own less than perfect record. ‘There’s nothing left to discuss, is there? Roll out your lawyers.’

Luxuriant black lashes semi-veiled the simmering golden eyes flaming over her feverishly flushed face. His lithe, well-built body rigid as he reacted to the rebellious challenge she provided, Christien snapped his hands over hers and pulled her close. Bemused by that sudden move in the midst of a serious discussion, Tabby looked up at him in disbelieving bewilderment. ‘What do you think you’re doing?’

‘You need telling, ma belle?’ Christien chided huskily.

Clamped to his powerful muscular frame, Tabby was insanely aware of the hard male heat of his erection. She knew she ought to push him away but she could not muster the will-power. Hot, melting longing was pooling at the very heart of her. He sank possessive fingers into her caramel-coloured hair and took her soft, ripe mouth by storm. He dragged her down so deep and fast into the passion that she moaned out loud in mingled hunger and fear. She wanted to shimmy down his lean, powerful physique, tantalise him to the edge of desperation and then arrange herself on the nearest horizontal surface like a wanton, willing reward. If anything, the very strength of her need for him scared her enough to make her yank herself back from him.

‘D’accord…OK,’ Christien grated as though the novelty of her new ability to resist him were the equivalent of having a loaded gun put to his head. ‘Moving in includes a wedding ring.’

Shock made Tabby blink in slow motion and left her dizzy. ‘I don’t know much about proposals but I think you ought to have mentioned that about ten minutes sooner. It was a proposal of marriage…wasn’t it?’

Christien raked brown fingers through his black hair, his molten gaze pinned to her with seething intensity. ‘What else?’

Face burning, Tabby endeavoured to dredge her eyes from his riveting dark good looks. Well, at least he wasn’t putting up any pretences. Evidently lust was well up to the challenge of getting him to the altar. ‘Are you sure about this?’

‘If we marry, we’ll be providing a proper family environment for Jake…’ Christien emerged from a deeply satisfying fantasy of having Tabby on call twenty-four hours a day. He saw her reclining across his gilded four-poster bed upstairs, rushing to Paris for sexy lunch break meetings at his apartment, accompanying him on long, boring business trips to enliven the hours he spent airborne and those spent between the sheets.

Tabby was still in a daze and afraid to believe that he meant what he was saying. ‘Yes but-’

‘Our son needs both of us.’ He would also need a nanny, Christien conceded, permitting a small glimmer of reality to tinge what was fast becoming an erotic daydream.

A wedding ring would be a true commitment on his part, Tabby thought. A little glow of happiness started to expand inside her. Why had Christien not made it clear that he was talking about marriage from the outset? Her embryo glow dimmed a little. She had a shrinking suspicion that he might only have come up with the marriage idea as a last resort. A last resort to get her into bed and keep her there until familiarity bred contempt?

Paling, Tabby could not bring herself to meet Christien’s eyes. He would be furious, and excusably so, if he knew what she was thinking. At the same time, she found it hard to credit that he was willing to give up his freedom solely for Jake’s benefit. And even if he was, it would take more than sex and a praiseworthy wish to be a good parent to hold a marriage together. But then wasn’t it also possible that she was misjudging Christien? He might not be in love with her, but that did not mean that he did not have warm feelings for her.

‘What about us?’ Tabby asked abruptly.

‘Us?’ Christien looked blank.

‘You and me…how you feel about me,’ Tabby muttered awkwardly.

Christien vented a husky laugh and treated her to a downright lascivious appraisal that radiated sexual heat. ‘Hungry,’ he growled without hesitation.

‘That’s not quite what I meant. When I mentioned how you feel about me…hmm…’ Tabby steeled herself to forge ahead and rise above all mortification because it was very clear that he was not about to give her any help.

‘What are you getting at?’

‘Er…love.’ Tabby finally got it out.

Instantly, Christien recoiled. ‘What’s love got to do with it?’

Tabby’s heart sank. Rarely did anyone receive an answer that bristled with such clarity. Talk about slamming the door shut on her dreams! One reference to love and he backed off six feet and could not conceal his revulsion. Even so, he had proposed…after a fashion. Instincts she was ashamed of urged her to accept first, get smart with him about terms later. But he was being so shallow about something that she took very seriously. She wanted her marriage to have the best possible chance of lasting until she was old and grey.

‘The civil ceremony will take ten days to organise,’ Christien commented.

‘I haven’t said yes.’

Emanating confidence, Christien bent mocking dark golden eyes on her. ‘I’ll make the arrangements…now come here.’

Christien began to pull her inch by inch back to him, his hungry gaze devouring her. Tabby breathed in deep. She knew that she was facing a definitive moment in her relationship with Christien. She had never planned anything with him, had never demanded anything from him either. Loving him from the first, she had let her heart rule her head and had then suffered the consequences.

But now Jake had to be considered. Christien himself had stressed that their son’s needs should be placed ahead of their own more selfish desires and doubtless that was why he had decided to propose. Unhappily, Tabby could not bring herself to believe that their marriage would last six months on so shallow a basis as sex. If Jake was not to be torn apart by a divorce, Christien would have to be prepared to make more effort.

‘Right at this minute, I’m not actually saying yes to marrying you,’ Tabby told Christien tautly.

Black brows pleating, Christien jerked back from her again. ‘Then what are you saying?’

‘I’d like to say yes but I just don’t think I can. We don’t have enough going for us-’

‘We have a son and dynamite sexual attraction!’

‘If it doesn’t work out, it will hurt Jake most of all…a lot of husbands and wives end up hating each other when they split up-’

‘Are you always this optimistic?’ Christien asked very drily.

‘I’m putting Jake first like you said we should.’ Tabby thrust up her chin. ‘If I did marry you, I know I’d try hard to make it work. But I’m not convinced you would do the same-’

Christien was getting riled. ‘Why the hell not?’

‘You’re spoiled. Life’s a breeze for you. You’re good-looking, rich and successful and you’re just not used to having to make an effort in relationships-’

Christien’s stubborn jawline was at an aggressive angle. ‘But naturally I could make that effort if I had to.’

‘Dragging me into the nearest bed wouldn’t count,’ Tabby returned in some embarrassment, but she knew it needed to be said.

‘Since when did I have to drag you?’ Christien derided silkily. ‘We’re talking in circles here, ma belle.’

‘No, we’re not, you’re not listening to what I’m saying. I want to marry you, but not if it’s likely to end in tears so that Jake suffers for my having made the wrong choice-’

‘I can’t offer you some miracle guarantee-’

‘If you’d loved me, I wouldn’t have needed any more.’

‘I can make you happy without love,’ Christien murmured with immense assurance.

‘How far would you be prepared to go to make me happy?’ A germ of an idea had occurred to Tabby.

‘I’m no quitter.’

At least, she consoled herself, in the radius of his father’s unquestioning confidence Jake was highly unlikely to suffer from low self-esteem.

‘You said it would be ten days before we can get married. So you’ve got that amount of time to persuade me that I should marry you-’

‘Persuade?’ Christien frowned. ‘I don’t follow.’

‘You’ve got from now until the ceremony to convince me…while we occupy separate beds,’ Tabby hastened to add.

The silence pulsed like a live thing.

Christien angled a sardonic scrutiny over her. ‘This is a joke…right?’

Tabby stiffened. ‘No, it’s not a joke. You see, we’ve never had a normal relationship-’

“‘Normal” is defined by separate beds?’

‘The very fact that that is the first thing you home in on proves that-’

‘I’m a guy and honest enough to admit that separate beds have zero appeal?’ Christien slotted in darkly.

‘I’d just like us to spend time together, go out to dinner and stuff…I’ve never had that.’ Tabby compressed her lips on that grudging admission. ‘Not with anyone. Before I met you, I went around with a crowd but it wasn’t really dating and then I fell pregnant.’

Christien had gone very still. ‘What about after Jake was born?’

Dully amused at how little he understood about how much parenthood had changed her life, Tabby released a rueful laugh. ‘Single mothers aren’t high on the hot list of babes in the eyes of male students. I didn’t have time to date anyway. I was studying, looking after Jake and working several nights a week to bring in some cash.’

Without the smallest warning, Christien was feeling gutted by guilt and a reluctant awareness of the privileged existence that he took quite for granted. He could easily imagine how he would have felt being saddled with the care of a baby as a teenager and he almost shuddered. She had had to be responsible way beyond her years. Jake’s conception had deprived her of all freedom and fun. That she had still got through college was a tribute to her.

‘Don’t think that I didn’t get asked out, because I was asked!’ Tabby wanted him to know that.

‘So why didn’t you go?’

Tabby grimaced. ‘Blokes tend to assume you’re a sure thing if you already have a baby. After I got that message, dating seemed more trouble than it was worth.’

His lean, strong face was taut. ‘You don’t have to answer this…but have you ever been with anyone but me?’

Glancing up in surprise, Tabby collided with his intent gaze and blushed to the roots of her hair before uttering a sheepish negative.

Something in his chest tightened and he dragged in a deep, ragged breath. He swung away. His son had been as good as a chastity belt. He was ashamed that he was pleased that she had never been to bed with any other guy. After all, self-evidently, he had wrecked her life at seventeen. Ironically that had been the one and only time that he had ever chosen to rely on a lover to take precautions. Why? In certain situations condoms were inconvenient and he had thought of his pleasure rather than her protection.

‘D’accord…’ Christien squared his wide shoulders like a male ready to assume an unpleasant duty. ‘So I demonstrate that I can make you happy without sex…I hope you’re not expecting me to be happy too.’

‘You might be surprised.’

‘Not that surprised,’ Christien drawled.

They lunched with Jake at a polished table in a grand dining room lined by rather gloomy ancestral portraits. Even so, she did recognise that the men were a pretty fanciable bunch. After the meal, he informed her that they were flying to Paris.

‘Don’t be annoyed with me…Jake has an appointment with a specialist this afternoon,’ Christien imparted.

‘That was quick.’ Tabby had no desire to question anything that might benefit her son’s health. ‘Money talks-’

‘Not in this instance. The specialist concerned is a family friend.’

Her face flamed with embarrassment. They called in at the cottage so that she could pack, for he had suggested they stay the night in the city. Zipping shut the bag, suppressing a groan at the noisy sound of Jake spilling his Lego bricks over the tiled floor, she turned round to see Christien watching her from the bedroom doorway. He looked incredibly tall and dark and lethally attractive. Her mouth ran dry, tummy muscles tightening.

‘You’re never going to live here,’ he commented.

Tabby tried to shrug as though she didn’t care either way.

‘I always play to win…’ he murmured silkily.

Her lashes lowered over her eyes as she evaded the stunning directness of his gaze. A ripple of awareness ran down her spine in the heavy silence. The sexual buzz in the atmosphere was intense and her heart was thumping like mad. She drew in a quivering breath. Her nipples were pushing in stiff little points against the lace of her bra cup and a wave of hot pink washed her face.

She watched his brilliant eyes darken and shimmer. He extended a lean brown hand and she grasped it, let him tug her forward.

‘We shouldn’t,’ she said shakily.

‘What’s a kiss, ma belle?’

Downstairs she could hear Jake making ‘vroom-vroom’ sounds while he played with his cars. Christien leant down. His breath warmed her cheek. She was so excited she stopped breathing. Without laying a hand on her, he tasted her lips, suckled them, savoured the eagerness with which she opened the moist interior to him. She strained up to him, electrified by the penetrating sweep of his tongue, the greedy ache stirring between her thighs in response.

‘Christien…’ she whimpered shakily.

‘Stop acting like a hussy…this is our first date-’

‘A first date?’ Tabby parroted.

Crhistien frowned. ‘You asked me for what you called a normal relationship-’

Tabby was nonplussed. ‘I did?’

‘A request which was in effect a direct challenge for me to redo what I seem to have got very wrong the first time around four years back-’

‘It…it was?’

Christien laughed. ‘So you had better learn how to say no…loud and clear. It takes two to play this game and I need all the help I can get.’

Bemused chagrin warming her face, she dropped the heavy bag at his feet and preceded him downstairs. Her body felt heavy on the outside and tight and achy on the inside. In her mind separate beds had already fallen in stature from being a common-sense precaution to being a rather naive and narrow-minded embargo. It was slowly dawning on her that on that score she had no right to feel superior to him: she might love him but, when it came to the lust factor, she was as guilty as he was.