The Italian’s Rightful Bride

CHAPTER FOUR

DID she remember everything? she wondered. What about the things she’d tried so hard to blot out?

‘Yes, I suppose I do,’ she said.

‘One thing that always puzzled me is why you ever let yourself be part of that merry-go-round.’

‘Blame Aunt Lilian,’ she said. ‘She really belonged in the nineteenth century, when things were done that way. I suppose I just got on board and didn’t know how to get off.’

‘Until the last moment, when you jumped off in a panic. Forgive me, Joanna. I never realised that you were being forced.’

‘It wasn’t quite like that,’ she said quickly.

‘I wish I knew exactly how it was. After we broke up I wanted to talk to you before the wedding, but I didn’t know what to say.’

‘There was nothing. It had all been said.’

‘Had it?’ he asked in a low voice. ‘Or could it never be said?’

‘Both, of course. Look-’ she set her glass down, leaned forward and gripped his hands ‘-what’s the point of being wise all these years later? It’s over. It happened. We’re different people now.’

He nodded. ‘It’s strange. I once knew you so well, and now I know nothing about you.’

You’re mistaken, she thought. You never knew the most important thing about me.

‘I’m glad you married,’ he said. ‘I hope you had some good years before your divorce. You deserve the best.’

‘That’s nice of you.’

‘I’m not just saying it. I still remember your generosity. If you only knew how much I admired you at that time. You were strong and I was-’ he shrugged ‘-I just had to put myself in your hands.’

‘And you hated that,’ she said wryly.

‘Now you make me sound churlish. But a man doesn’t like to think of himself as hiding behind a woman’s skirts like a weakling.’

‘Does it make you a weakling to accept help? I was simply better placed to do the talking. Besides, isn’t love supposed to make strong men weak? And heaven knows, you were madly in love with Crystal.’

‘Yes,’ he said solemnly.

She waited to see if he would say more, but a heaviness seemed to have come down on him.

She sat on the stone railing, raising one leg to rest her arm against the knee, and looked out over the scene.

Looking at her confused him. She was Joanna and yet not Joanna. The girl of long ago was still there, but only as a faint ghost. The woman of today had a glamour and confidence that girl had never dreamed of.

He’d watched her over dinner, fascinated by the way she had turned into a beauty, her light tan emphasising her large grey eyes and making her smile flash.

But it was more than that, more than the silk and velvet of her clothes or the real gold in her ears. She had made a success of her life, donning authority like a cloak and walking through the world with a superior air.

They called her ‘Boss!’ and it was only half a joke. She had earned the title, not inherited it. He felt at a disadvantage, and that brought a memory back.

‘Do you remember the night you came out here before?’ he asked.

‘Maybe,’ she said dreamily.

‘I saw you here, sitting just where you are now, and I wanted to come and talk to you but you seemed so absorbed in your own world that I couldn’t bear to disturb you.’

‘Oh,’ she said softly.

‘I did come out in the end-but it was all wrong.’

‘I remember that we didn’t say much.’

‘I had an odd feeling that you wanted to tell me something, but you never did, so I guess I was mistaken.’

She was silent, recalling that night and how awkward their conversation had been. How astute of him to have sensed that there were words she longed to say! How blind not to have realised that they were words of love!

From deep in the woods the owl hooted again.

‘There was an owl that night too,’ she said, smiling. ‘That one’s probably descended from it. Nothing ever really changes here, does it? That was one of the things I loved about the place.’

‘Nothing changes,’ he agreed. ‘And everything changes.’

‘Yes,’ she said after a moment. ‘Everything changes.’

Then, for a while, there was nothing more to say.

Joanna found herself pervaded by an unexpected sense of peace and contentment. She felt that she could sit here forever.

Gustavo remained in a chair, watching her as she looked out over the darkened landscape, her hair lifted by the slight breeze that was so welcome at the end of a hot day.

Once she turned her head towards him and smiled, but they did not speak. Time seemed to slip past without her noticing, and she was startled to see the first streaks of light in the sky.

‘Is that the dawn?’ she asked.

‘Yes, but it’s only about four o’clock.’

‘That’s right. I used to stand at my bedroom window and watch it happen. It was glorious.’

‘I expect you were dreaming of the great lost palace even then,’ he said with a smile.

She had been dreaming of him, and the life they would have together. But she only nodded.

‘That palace has filled my dreams,’ she agreed. ‘Being the one to uncover it means everything to me. I remember the day you told me about it, and took me to the place where it was supposed to have stood, fifteen hundred years ago.’

‘But that wasn’t the right place, was it?’ he said.

‘According to all the books it should have been there. Only the real thing turned out to be about half a mile away. Carlo said it was found by chance, when some of the earth settled, leaving a dent in the ground.’

‘That’s right. I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you arrived. I’d have liked to be the one to take you there, and see your face.’

‘I probably looked like a child on Christmas Day.’

‘Yes, that’s what I’d have enjoyed. I remember you as always so cool and composed. It would be delightful to see you bouncing up and down with excitement.’

Suddenly he stirred.

‘Let me take you there now, Joanna, before the rest of the world awakens.’

‘All right,’ she said eagerly.

It took him five minutes to bring his car around, and together they drove slowly over the gradually lightening land.

At last the site came into view, dim and silent in the soft grey morning. They got out and went to stand looking over it.

‘It’s a slow business,’ she told him. ‘It’s only at this end that we’ve uncovered very much in the way of foundations. Over there it’s still covered in grass. We have to take it slowly to make sure that we preserve as much as possible in good condition.’

‘How many times have I walked or ridden over this piece of land, and never suspected?’ he mused. ‘It just looked like everywhere else, but now, if I’m lucky, it might be my salvation.’

‘In what sense?’

‘I have to repay my debt to Crystal. When we married she put a lot of money into this place. Now she wants it all back. Of course, she’s entitled to it, so I have to raise the cash somehow.’

‘Can you do that?’

‘I’ve managed to pay part of what I owe her, which is keeping her quiet for a while. But I’m going to have to find a big lump sum quite soon.’

‘It sounds as though things are pretty bad.’

‘I’m not crying poverty. I live well, as you can see. Carlo has told me how much I’m paying for your services and I can find it because it’s a good investment. But if you could manage to discover a solid gold vase, preferably two thousand years old, plus some proof that it once belonged to Julius Caesar, who received it from Cleopatra, I’d be very grateful.’

He spoke in a satirical voice and she guessed she didn’t have to explain to him what a wild hope this was.

A moment later he confirmed it, saying, ‘It’s all right, it’s only wishful thinking making me talk nonsense.’

‘Not nonsense. Miracles do happen.’

‘I know,’ he said, so softly that she almost didn’t hear.

‘What was that?’

‘Nothing,’ he said hastily. ‘Tell me, what’s that I see over there? It looks like a whole village.’

‘We travel with everything we need. One of those tents is a makeshift canteen.’

‘And those trucks behind the tents?’

‘Equipment, including a portable generator, that works the fridge in the canteen, so we can all have a nice cold beer. Independence is everything when you work all over the place, as we do.’

‘That’s another thing I recall about you, your independence. Be self-sufficient, and owe nothing to any man. That was your motto.’

‘I’m sure I never said that.’

‘You never had to. You were only eighteen, but even then, there was something about you that was complete unto yourself.’

‘Then you were probably lucky not to marry me,’ she said lightly. ‘Self-sufficient people can be hell on earth to live with. They often know how to give but not to take, and that can be just as hurtful.’

‘Well, it might make a change from someone who only knew how to take and never gave anything in her life,’ he said with a touch of irony.

The next moment he hurriedly backed off.

‘Please forget I said that. I make good resolutions not to criticise Crystal. It’s sometimes hard to keep them, but she’s still the mother of my child.’

‘Of course. And as for what you were saying, I’m not sure you were right about me.’

‘Well, I always wondered just how real your armour was. It was as though you’d told yourself to be that way, although I can’t think why. Maybe you felt safer.’

She was about to protest when she remembered her vow never to love or feel again with the intensity with which she’d loved Gustavo. She’d opted for self-sufficiency then, but had the seeds of it already been there inside her heart long before? And had he sensed them, and drawn back from her?

She’d never thought of Gustavo as having insight. If anything, the reverse. Now, as he revealed her to herself, she wondered how well she’d ever really known him.

‘Look,’ he said suddenly, pointing upward.

The grey faded and a glow was appearing in the sky as the sun prepared to rise. Yet it was still early enough for a cool breeze.

‘I always thought this the perfect time of day,’ he said softly.

‘Yes.’

He was standing a little behind her and she felt him put his hands gently on her shoulders. After that neither of them moved as they stood watching the light grow, until the sun blazed from behind a cloud and they had to shield their eyes.

‘I suppose we’d better go back,’ he said reluctantly.

On the journey home Joanna did not speak. Her inner vision was full of the glory she had seen, and the greater glory she had felt.

She was trying not to hear the little warning voice that had spoken before. It was more urgent now.

Go away from here, quickly. Leave before it’s too late.

But it was already too late.

Business matters, both estate and financial, claimed Gustavo over the next few days. Several times he drove into Rome, always choosing a route that took him past the dig, fascinated by the way the area had become unrecognisable.

Sometimes he would stop off and let them show him around the other tents, which contained tables on which small pieces of brick and pottery were laid out.

He arrived one lunchtime, on his way back from the city, and saw Joanna, deep in discussion with Hal.

Stepping inside, he found the air pleasantly cool, courtesy of the portable air-conditioning system imported on one of the trucks.

‘It’s like an army on the move,’ he said.

‘That’s down to Sally,’ Joanna said.

Sally looked up long enough to intone, ‘Logistics. The secret of a good campaign.’

‘It shows how ignorant I am,’ Gustavo said. ‘I used to think it would be a couple of people with trowels.’

‘I’ve got a trowel,’ said Danny, who was by way of being the clown of the group.

‘We use those too,’ Joanna told him. ‘But we also have radar, laser photography and computers. There’s a mass of equipment in the trucks.’

Gustavo saw Billy in a corner, peering at the screen of a laptop and tapping something in with the ease of familiarity, and talking to Renata, who hung on to his every word. He watched them with satisfaction, and exchanged a glance with Joanna.

‘Thank you,’ he said quietly. ‘He’s just what she needs right now.’

‘I think she’s giving him something that he needs too,’ she mused.

‘Yes, I imagine hero-worship can be very heady wine when you’re ten,’ he agreed, smiling.

Casually he strolled over to the children, looking at the screen, asking about it. Billy answered cheerfully, and even Renata, Joanna was glad to notice, gave him a faint smile. When he spoke directly to her she began to explain something to him. Glad for him, Joanna edged discreetly forward.

‘You’re really learning about this fast,’ Gustavo was saying to his daughter.

‘Joanna says I’m good at it,’ Renata told him solemnly.

‘She is,’ Joanna confirmed. ‘She never has to be told anything twice.’

‘Bright girl.’ Gustavo smiled at his daughter. She smiled back at him, and for once there was no strain in her face.

Please, let it always be like this for him, Joanna thought.

Something was making Gustavo do everything right. He pointed at the screen, declared himself baffled and begged enlightenment. Renata was happy to oblige until she got stuck.

‘No-wait- Billy, is that the right word?’ she asked.

‘No, you mean-hang on.’ His cellphone had shrilled. Holding it up, he grinned at something that appeared on the screen. ‘It’s my dad,’ he told them. ‘He sends me bad jokes by text message, and boy, is that a really bad joke! In fact, my dad can think of worse bad jokes than anyone else’s dad in the world.’

‘I reckon I could manage a few,’ Gustavo said quickly.

‘Nah! Dad’s the champion bad joker. Top of the class. I think he’s even got a degree in it. Look at that!’

‘What does it mean?’ Renata asked, peering at the English words.

He explained, but she was still puzzled.

‘I think it lost something in translation,’ Gustavo said, touching her lightly on the shoulder.

‘That’s the trouble with really bad jokes,’ Billy said solemnly. ‘When you try to explain them, they die a horrible death.’

‘I’m sure you can think of one even worse to send back,’ Joanna observed. ‘After all, he may be the master bad joker, but you’re not his son for nothing.’

‘You bet!’

Billy began to key in letters with practised fingers, then triumphantly transmitted the text. The answer came a moment later and made him yell with laughter.

‘That is the worst joke ever,’ he crowed.

‘Don’t let him get away with that,’ Joanna said. ‘You can beat it.’

He did so, receiving a response almost at once. The others crowded around, joining in with suggestions that grew sillier and sillier, until they reached a riotous peak of silliness, and everyone was laughing.

Everyone except Renata. At some moment she had seen the contrast between Billy’s experience and her own silent phone. Her face stiffened as though she was fighting back the tears with an effort.

Joanna met Gustavo’s eyes, signalling a frantic message to him. He tried to draw the child close to him but she pulled away as all the hostility, so briefly abated, came flooding back. The next moment she’d dashed out of the tent.

Gustavo made as if to follow her but Joanna shook her head and he stopped, held back by an instinctive trust in her as she went out to find Renata.

The little girl had jumped down into the dig and was sitting with her back to a low wall that had just been revealed. Her arms were folded on her knees, and her head rested on them in an attitude of silent despair.

Joanna jumped down and went to sit beside her, touching her arm lightly.

‘I’m sorry that upset you,’ she said.

‘It didn’t, not really,’ Renata said defiantly. ‘It just reminded me how much I miss Mamma. She called this morning, to say how much she loved me, and plan our escape. It’s going to be very soon, but you won’t tell Papa, will you?’

‘No, I won’t tell him,’ Joanna said softly.

There would be no need, she thought, sensing Gustavo approach and stand just out of sight.

‘Because if he knew-’ Renata’s voice wobbled ‘-he’d try to stop me.’

‘Perhaps that’s because he loves you,’ Joanna suggested. ‘I think he loves you so much that he can’t bear to do without you. Did you ever think of that?’

Renata shook her head vigorously.

‘Well, perhaps you should. After all, think how lonely he must be! You’re all he has left. How can you think of leaving him all alone in this great place?’

For a moment she thought she’d got through. Renata’s face cleared for a moment, but then she said, ‘But Papa made Mamma and little Toni go away. Why would he do that if he was going to be lonely?’

‘I don’t think it was quite like that. Perhaps you should ask him to talk to you about what happened.’

‘But I try to talk to him. He just puts me off and won’t tell me anything properly, so I know he’s lying to me.’

‘He’s not lying. There are just some things he finds very difficult to talk about. He needs you to help him, and look after him.’

‘Look after Papa?’ Renata said in a tone of disbelief. ‘He doesn’t need anyone to look after him.’

‘Oh, if you only knew how wrong you are!’

Renata jumped to her feet.

‘I’m not, I’m not. I hate you, and I hate Papa. I hate everyone but Papa most. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him!’

She jumped up and ran away. Billy came out of the tent and started running after her.

‘Not in this heat!’ Joanna called.

‘It’s all right.’ That was Hal, heading for the nearest truck. ‘I’ll catch them up and take them back to the house.’

‘Thanks, Hal.’ She went to the tent entrance. ‘Everyone back to the house for lunch.’

As she’d hoped they jumped at her suggestion. The next moment the cars were roaring away towards the house, leaving Joanna and Gustavo alone.

He had walked a little way off, stopping beneath the shade of a tree, his back to her. She could only imagine the agony this must be for him. To hear the child he loved more than anything in the world scream that she hated him. Could there be any pain greater?

Torn with sympathy for him, she walked up and touched him gently on the shoulder.

‘It doesn’t mean anything, Gustavo. All children say these things.’

‘Yes,’ he said, not turning round. ‘They say them in tantrums about trivial things, but this wasn’t trivial. Her heart is breaking, and she meant every word.’

Then he looked round, and she could clearly see that he had been weeping. He was past trying to hide it. The tears were still on his cheeks.

‘Thank you for what you tried to do,’ he said huskily.

‘You know I’ll help you all I can, Gustavo, but I don’t understand. Where does Renata get this fixation from?’

‘When Crystal walked out Renata saw her leaving and came flying downstairs, trying to hold on to her. Crystal said she’d send for her “later” and got into the car. Renata tried to get in with her, and that was when I grabbed her, to stop her getting hurt.’

‘So that’s the origin of the story of you keeping her away from Crystal?’

‘Yes. I’m not sure she even remembers the reality any more. I’m the monster who snatched her from her mother’s arms, and she’s told herself that so often that it’s become “fact”. Crystal never did send for her, and this is the only way she can cope with it.’

‘I’ll talk to her again when she’s calmed down,’ Joanna promised. ‘Or maybe I’ll route some of it through Billy. She might listen to him.’

He tried to smile and speak normally.

‘I’m lucky to have you two here, because without you I don’t…’ But it was too much. The next moment he broke.

‘What am I going to do?’ he whispered. ‘Help me, Joanna. I’ve nobody else to turn to. Help me!’

She put her arms around him, holding him consolingly, feeling him cling to her tightly, desperately.

‘My dear, of course I will. I’ll do anything I can. Hold on to me. It’ll be all right, you’ll see. I promise it’s going to be all right.’